Original subtitles

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Sex is the form of expressing love.

AMANPOUR: Berlin.

Is it kinky?

Carnal capital of Europe.

LENA: That was so good!

AMANPOUR: Legendarily daring.

I want booty calls. I want casual sex.

-Did your family go naked? -Yeah. Sure.

AMANPOUR: And disciplined, even when recreating.

-AMANPOUR: I love it! -MAN: I don't know.

This is the city of love.

What about the whole idea of romantic love?

Do you have a good sex life?

[ Laughs ]

Are they having enough sex?

-Exactly. -[ Laughs ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

WOMAN: [ Inhales sharply ]

AMANPOUR: Is it sexual?

RUCKERT: It can be.

AMANPOUR: I've come to explore sex and love in Berlin,

and this is my initiation rite.

Felix Ruckert's Japanese rope class.

Hup.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Now move your rope quick and fluently.

AMANPOUR: I thought dropping in on a bondage workshop

would be a good entry into the famously edgy Berlin scene.

RUCKERT: Tight, but not too tight.

AMANPOUR: I was expecting leather and chains

in dim basements, not sunlight in yoga pants.

Give it a try?

[ Music continues ]

You should enjoy it.

What -- What I do for my art.

RUCKERT: Everything you have to do, huh?

Awful. Terrible job.

Is this a punishment?

No, no. That's a reward.

A reward. [ Laughs ]

It's a reward.

AMANPOUR: Just explain to me what we're watching.

-What is it? -It is a workshop.

So people come to learn something,

to get some new ideas.

Of course, why people do that

is many different reasons, you know?

There's an aesthetic aspect,

a therapeutic aspect for some people.

Therapeutic? In what way?

Letting go of control, you know, taking control.

AMANPOUR: Is pain involved?

I heard a few, you know, groans.

RUCKERT: I mean, you can make it very comfortable.

It's like a hammock, you know, if you put a lot of rope.

And then it's more about this floating feeling.

But most people like that it puts the body a bit in pieces,

you know, like stretches you.

It's something beautiful.

There is something very alive.

The real personal, direct, intimate meeting, you know?

Because that's what people crave for,

and that's what they can experience here.

And it does turn on a lot of people.

AMANPOUR: The atmosphere in this room is really intense

and surprisingly intimate.

There's no awkwardness here.

Everyone's pursuing their goal of getting turned on

in a disciplined, precise, and, dare I say it, German way.

Is it kinky?

For me, yes. But for some people, no.

-It is kinky for you? -For me, it's kinky.

I do it because it turns me on. I find it exciting.

So is it sexual for you? Is it about sex?

You're a bit obsessed with sex.

-Yes, that's -- -You're coming back --

This is what this whole program is about.

I mean, for me, the question is, are people happy

with their sex life?

Are they really fulfilled? Are they getting what they want?

And if you ask that question...

AMANPOUR: So I'm asking that question.

RUCKERT: When I do a public talk and I ask people,

you have at least 70%, 80%

not really happy with what they have.

They're not getting as much sex as they want

and not the way they want it.

-Seventy, eighty percent? -I would say, yeah.

I mean, are you happy with your sex life?

-It's a very good question. -Yeah.

-Yeah. -And? So?

[ Laughs ]

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

AMANPOUR: Why Berlin?

Well, Berlin has always been a sexy city,

a legendary cabaret scene...

[ Music continues ]

...a place that attracts people looking to fulfill

every sexual fantasy and satisfy every fetish.

[ Music slows, stops, up-tempo music plays ]

Given the city's pedigree,

I want to know what sex is like here.

LENA: Where are you? This is urgent. [ Laughs ]

AMANPOUR: For these two young women,

sex is as uncomplicated as sending a text.

-LENA: It's a match. -PAULETTA: Match!

"How's your Saturday?"

A bit boring so far, but it's gonna be a full moon tonight.

[ Howls, laughs ]

PAULETTA: [ Laughs ]

LENA: Oleg, Hagan, Andrew, Lisa, Justin, Alex.

AMANPOUR: Of course, swiping left or right

is a big part of romance in the digital age.

Sweet. That's a match.

AMANPOUR: Like many of their generation,

Pauletta and Lena are looking online for their dates.

I've been trying to have the smallest amount

of words exchange.

People are having sexual intercourse with their dates.

"Hi. Where are you?

I can be there in 15 minutes."

Guys are, like, completely, like, astonished.

So with like that, "Okay. We could be having sex."

We're wasting our time.

And this is just meaningless blah-blah,

because I'm not really interested in your job

or in your future expectations

or in being the mother of your children, so...

AMANPOUR: But this will be a Tinder date with a twist.

PAULETTA: So, my idea was to cut a hole here somewhere

so we can put the hidden camera here.

AMANPOUR: Pauletta earns her living as an adult-film maker,

and tonight she will secretly film Lena's multiple hookups

with both men and women.

And then, with their consent,

the encounters will be turned into a sort of reality porn film

and posted on the Internet.

LENA: Oh, it's perfect.

AMANPOUR: Pauletta calls it Tinderporn.

PAULETTA: Yeah. This is gonna work.

This is so good. Whoo!

This is what happened.

-[ Bell chimes ] -[ Gasps ] Is that him already?

Go! Okay. Let's put the camera on.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

-That was so good! -[ Laughs ]

Exciting!

[ Music continues ]

AMANPOUR: Pauletta, I've sort of slipped into your movie here.

What's Lena doing? What's going on over there?

So, right now, I left her there tindering.

The challenge is, she has 12 hours

and needs to make as many Tinder dates

and sexual interactions as possible.

Why do people want to do this?

Oh, 'cause it's fun.

[ Both laugh ]

And for me as a woman, it's very freeing

to be able to have a profile and be out there being like,

"Okay. I want booty calls. I want casual sex."

-And you do that? -Yeah. Absolutely.

-A lot? -Uh, when I have time.

I work a lot, but when I have free time, yes.

A cynic would say, "It doesn't matter what you call it --

sex-positive or feminist-friendly porn --

It's still porn, and porn is exploitative."

That is because pornography, like any other industry,

is just a mirror of society.

So if we have a sexist society,

we're gonna have sexist pornography.

When you google "sex," the only thing you find

is these very violent, very extreme things.

So boys are thinking, "Whoa. That's the benchmark now."

Exactly, and the problem is that people are not getting

proper sexual education.

If parents would talk to their children openly,

without taboos, without shame, and tell them,

"What you see here, these two people

doing this sexual practice, is a film.

It's not reality."

The same way you tell your child,

"Superman doesn't really fly,

so you cannot just jump out of the window and fly.

It's a film. It's not reality."

If we would have open dialogue, that wouldn't be a problem.

So do I sound like a prude when I'm asking you these questions?

-No, not at all. -[ Laughs ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

-Let's go! -Let's do it!

You're on your own now. Good luck. Be safe.

I will.

-Ta. -AMANPOUR: As Lena headed off

on her way to one of her five hookups that night,

I couldn't help feeling the generation gulf.

Couldn't have been easier, honestly.

"Come here. Kiss me."

PAULETTA: Time is running, but we have like 90 minutes.

-So we're gonna rock it. -Whoo!

AMANPOUR: I can see that these young women are fully in control

of their sexuality,

and they treat sex more like many men would.

How you doing, babes?

AMANPOUR: As someone disinclined

to record my own sexual pastimes...

Oh, my God. That was so funny.

AMANPOUR: ...I have to wonder what sex is like

for the rest of this city.

Are other Berliners having this much action?

[ Strauss' "Blue Danube" waltz plays ]

AMANPOUR: Berliners take their sex very seriously,

and not just in the cabarets or the clubs and the sex shops.

The world's first sex research institute

was established here in 1919.

It was founded by Magnus Hirschfeld,

and it was a safe space for Germans to open up

and learn about all matters of sex.

[ Music slows, stops, mid-tempo march plays ]

But all this progressive sexuality

was too much for Hitler.

Amid the horrors of the Third Reich,

the Nazis burnt this institute and all its archives

to the ground.

But today the old spirit is back.

It's alive and well on German public television

every Monday night.

While Americans laugh along with late-night talk shows,

Berliners are watching Ann-Marlene Henning

unravel the mysteries of a very different kind of pleasure.

She uses props and graphic videos

so couples can better understand

how to give each other the best possible experience.

So is Germany as open as we all think?

Maybe we could say there's a lot of sexuality,

sex shops, and also television shows and all that.

But there are still things to be done,

because there's this new conservatism going on

that we shouldn't talk about sex again

and women back to the houses.

But there's enough people -- more people --

who doesn't like it.

So I say let's talk.

AMANPOUR: And her brand of frank sex talk is finding an audience

among a generation that's more comfortable texting

than talking.

What are the big issues in this generation?

All we hear about is planet porn.

I think they kind of imitate because that's what they see

four to six years before they have real sex.

But they think about it in a different way.

They know it's not the normal sex.

I try to show the real stuff.

And that's more calm. This is down to earth.

So Generation Porn -- I call them Generation Longings.

They long for something.

They can feel that this is wrong.

What I'm beginning to learn is that it's not just about sex.

-It's about communication. -Yes.

That's one of my biggest things. Talk about it. It's so easy.

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

And it can be fun.

And then you're in real contact with another person,

and then the sex gets better.

The love -- You can feel the love.

Are they having enough sex?

They claim all the time

that they have 2.6 times a week.

And I don't believe it, because --

-I don't believe it either. -Exactly.

Why don't you believe it?

Because I don't have 2.6 a week.

And that's the thing -- What is sex?

Penetrative sex

or maybe also with yourself, masturbating?

And then I claim 2.6 a week might be right.

Because I had sex this week -- with me, also.

[ Both laugh ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

AMANPOUR: But what happens when this tolerant, open,

public conversation about sex is joined by people

coming from a much more conservative tradition?

Germany has recently taken in more than a million refugees.

The majority are young Muslim men

who arrive with very different ideas of how the sexes interact.

To head off at least some of the culture clash,

Germans are trying to integrate the newcomers to their new home.

There are language classes, civics courses.

And then there's this.

My Arabic? It's nonexistent.

AMANPOUR: Karoline Heine is a young sexologist,

and she's teaching sex ed to these refugees.

I only know two words.

I only know marhaba (hello) and mehbar.

What?

Mehbar.

It's the word for vagina?

Mahbar!

Ah, mahbar.

Or koos.

[ Laughter ]

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

HEINE: In 2015, all these newcomers came,

and all the people who work with these young people

were like, "Oh, my God.

"Now we have to handle this very difficult topic, sexuality."

They were very unsure how to handle this "hot topic."

And so I just started to do and try this out.

And...Yeah.

Make a choice.

What is that?

A penis?

That is a vibrator.

But the battery is dead.

What is that?

I have no idea.

Do you remember the word clitoris?

This spot is very sensitive.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

I'll say a word

and you tell me what you associate with that.

Kissing.

Kissing. Yes, it's something nice.

The Prophet said something about that.

You have to start with this and not just get on with the sex.

Pornography.

In our religion,

it's totally, totally forbidden.

We must not watch it.

Another word, orgasm.

No idea what that is, honestly.

It's the moment during sex when you climax.

And who has it first?

The man or the woman?

That depends.

Talking about this topic, it is completely new for them.

What I try to do in the sessions is to get a good conversation,

because it is very, very interesting for me

to learn from them,

to hear from them their opinion on Germany.

I heard that at school

you get practical lessons...

practical lessons in sex.

Is that correct?

No, no! God, no! No!

That's absolutely wrong!

[ Laughter ]

AMANPOUR: The interest these young men have

in learning about sex is pretty universal.

And so perhaps sex ed can become an unlikely bridge

between the cultures.

Is it strange to speak about these things with a woman?

Not anymore.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

AMANPOUR: In Berlin, sex and nudity are out in the open

and on display.

But for Zohre Esmaeli,

one of Germany's hottest fashion models,

the road to the runway began with the defiant act

of removing her head scarf.

And no one was more surprised than I was

to see this refugee from Afghanistan

become the nation's newest ambassador for tolerance

and openness,

taking over that role from the much more typical German,

blond, blue-eyed supermodel Claudia Schiffer.

[ Music continues ]

AMANPOUR: You come from Afghanistan.

You escape the Taliban.

The most repressive,

the most covered-up, conservative society.

And you come here and you do something completely Western --

the fewest amount of clothes,

the most putting yourself out there.

At what point did you realize that actually to be a woman

was something completely different

than what you'd grown up thinking it meant to be a woman?

I can explain.

Before I come to Germany, I was not a normal girl.

I always wanted to play with the guys outside,

with my brother.

I wanted to be always man

because they had so much freedom.

I didn't like the burka or scarf, all these things.

AMANPOUR: Did you used to wear yours in Afghanistan, the burka?

ESMAELI: Yes.

But when I was discovered as a model,

it was the beginning to understand

what is to be a woman,

how you can use your woman power.

To be feminine?

What you have, what the God gave you in your body.

AMANPOUR: Zohre's culture values strict modesty,

and removing her head scarf took courage.

But a career in modeling

would mean revealing a whole lot more.

For me, it was not easy to work as a model for lingerie.

I can remember one day, I was very sad.

I called my friend and said, "I make a picture in lingerie,

and I feel like God doesn't like me."

And she told me, "Zohre, look.

God is so busy with other people or terrorists.

You are the end of them, you know?"

[ Both laugh ]

So kind of thank God you left.

I think it was the best thing what happened in my life.

I understand what is the meaning of life --

to be a human, to have freedom.

I think modeling was not for me just a job.

It was the vehicle that let you find your freedom.

-Exactly. Exactly. -Yeah.

And you're the world's only Afghan supermodel.

-Model. Just a model. -Model. [ Laughs ]

Not supermodel.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

AMANPOUR: Zohre found her freedom in Berlin

on the journey from the burka to the bikini.

And she's in good company.

Berliners have always sought freedom of expression.

And on the eastern side of the Berlin Wall,

they found their own route to liberation

by stripping down even further

and in doing so slyly raising the middle finger

to their communist oppressors.

My driver, Patrick, is taking me to visit the next generation

of this naked truth.

You're taking me to FKK.

[ Chuckles ] Freikoerperkultur.

Freikoerperkultur.

-Free body culture. -What is that?

It's a club where the people are living in all situations

without clothes.

[ Film projector clicking ]

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

AMANPOUR: Free body culture dates back

to the 19th century in Germany.

Its credo is basically,

"Free your body, and your mind will follow."

How normal was that for you growing up in Germany,

this whole naked thing?

In the eastern side, it was totally normal.

In western Germany, it's not so relaxed.

Did your family go naked?

Yeah. Sure. Always.

So first time meeting my girlfriend,

my parents was naked.

-Went, "Hello." -And was she naked?

Yeah. Sure. It was on the beach.

It's really weird.

[ Laughs ] It was normal in the east.

It was a small piece of freedom the people have.

You were free just to express your body.

Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

[ Man speaking German ]

AMANPOUR: There are clubs like this all over the country.

But as a product of a British convent boarding school --

all buttoned down and covered up --

this kind of thing is still a bit of a curiosity for me --

people who are just fine with publicly flaunting

what to most are really their private parts.

[ Music continues ]

-Hi. -VINCENT: Hi.

So, can I join you?

-Sure. Welcome. -Hi.

Hi. Nice to see you.

A little strange for me, I have to confess.

But you know what? I'm gonna get into it.

-Yeah. Come on. -Shall I strip too?

Yeah.

[ Music continues ]

That's about all I can get away with.

Okay. So...

-Vincent. -Yeah?

Is it kind of weird playing Ping-Pong in the nude?

It really isn't for me. I'm used to it.

But why do you do it?

-I like the freedom of it. -Really?

Is it weird for you watching?

Not really, because I've sort of --

It's obviously weird, because I'm throwing it into the net.

But tell me about the freedom.

I like the idea of the freedom.

'Cause it's not about sex, is it?

It isn't.

There's other ways where people can be sexual.

The world is full of it right now.

And this is kind of a niche where you can still be naked

and like your naked body

without this part of all the sexual stuff.

Which is a very nice thing -- to be happy with your body.

That's actually an interesting point,

because everybody's obsessed

with their bodies these days, especially in relationships.

People think, "Oh, I've got to look this way

in order for somebody to find me attractive."

But that doesn't exist in this group.

-No. No, it's not the point. -No.

It's not, like, buff and body building and showing off.

No, it's not.

So why is it so central to freedom?

Why?

I think if you're, like, dressed,

then you can also have, like, styles.

But if you're naked, you're all equal, right?

So it makes you also aware of your own body,

and this really helps to free your mind.

AMANPOUR: Vincent's a biochemist,

and it clearly brings a deep sense of satisfaction

for him to break out of this convention.

Aw! Damn!

And it got me wondering

whether Germany's FKK acts as a great leveler in some way.

The ability to get over body image surely must play a role

in what I'm seeing here in Berlin,

which is a very honest and open attitude

towards intimacy and love and sex too.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

For me, sex is as important as food or water is.

It's like the most natural instinct,

what pushes us forward.

Sex is the form of expressing love and love for life.

[ Music continues ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

[ Horn blares ]

AMANPOUR: Zohre was born into one culture,

but she's been thrown into this one, and she embraces it.

I was curious to know how she's handled relationships

in this city.

I want to ask you about your love life.

-[ Laughs ] -Yes, you can.

What does it mean to be loved?

I see the real love when the person accepts you how you are

without changing you.

I discovered real love in Germany.

And I think, when I stayed at home in Afghanistan,

I-I could never understand what mean real love.

AMANPOUR: We're on our way

to see new refugees from Afghanistan

who are just starting out their life here.

Zohre sees herself as their culture coach,

and she's using her own experience

to try to help them navigate

what is really unfamiliar territory.

And what about the whole idea of romantic love?

I think in Afghanistan, like, to be romantic

doesn't exist, you know?

-Holding hands, kissing. -Holding hands --

No. Nothing. No.

I think they miss a big emotion.

They don't understand how you can enjoy the real sex.

I think for them, it's like, "Okay.

Inside, outside, have kids."

You mean "in, out, and kid"?

-Yeah. -[ Laughs ]

And you see they have kid.

You can say, "Okay. They had sex."

So there's no sense of enjoyment?

No. No. Really, I ask some people --

I don't want to tell their name,

because I have a different experience and I'm very happy

because every human have the right to enjoy the real sex.

They told me, "No.

We don't understand what you're talking about.

We don't have this kind of experience."

-You mean pleasure? -Yeah, pleasure.

I don't want to tell them, "Oh, you missed something."

But...Yeah.

AMANPOUR: This was a school

that's been turned into a refugee camp

in the heart of Berlin.

And for now, it's home for Lina

and her husband, Hanif, their two children,

and her in-laws.

Thank you.

AMANPOUR: I have reported on people fleeing war and crises

throughout my career, and I've always wanted to ask

about how they manage to maintain

what makes us all human --

relationships, love, and intimacy.

[ Singing in native language ]

AMANPOUR: All three generations of this family

are sharing this small space, and privacy is scarce.

You've got a 4-year-old, a 6-year-old.

You've got a new daughter coming.

I just want to ask you one personal woman question.

Here you are in one room in a camp,

and you have to have husband-wife relations.

You're pregnant.

How difficult is it to do that here

with everybody in the same room and...

-What? -[ Laughter ]

ESMAELI: That's a good question,

but I don't know if you'll get the answer.

She says, "You are pregnant in the camp."

[ Laughter ]

We managed to conceive our child here.

It's a gift from God.

AMANPOUR: So in this room, you got pregnant?

We were here.

No one ever asked this question!

Do you mind me asking you these questions?

Too late, you asked already!

[ Laughter ]

In Lina and Leila's culture,

sex and love are extremely private matters,

and even talking about them openly is taboo.

You have one son.

What did you tell him about love, about marriage,

about courting and getting a wife?

I was expected to find a good lady for him.

It was her duty to find him a woman, and she did.

-ESMAELI: She did. -Dear Lina.

Exactly.

What expectations did you have?

When I got married,

my mother advised me to get along well

with my in-laws and my husband.

She told me not to fight with them.

First, your in-laws!

First of all, you have to take care of the parents

of the man and then your husband.

And what about herself, her own happiness?

Were you ever told that you also have a right to be happy,

to be loved?

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

This is not in our culture till now.

I can explain you.

When you're married in Afghanistan,

you don't marry the guy.

You've married all the family.

You have to wash. You have to cook.

Is that what you expected? Is that what you want?

I wanted a future that all girls want.

To have a happy marriage and to have children.

I wanted this happiness.

She say, "Every woman, every girl want like this,

how I am.

To have a good life, to have kids."

I think when the horizon is not big,

to ask this question about happiness, it's scared.

She looks scared right now.

I think we have to be careful with this question.

-That is so interesting. -Yes.

That is a dangerous question.

Wow.

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

Berlin has its kinky streak for those who dare.

And sex in all its shapes and forms

is just on the other side of the door.

LADY MERCEDES: People come to Avalon

basically because they want to have

a sexual experience, of course, to have a fantasy fulfilled.

[ Music continues ]

The average client is, I would say, mid-40s,

in very good positions,

mostly married men who in that outside world

lead others and are under very high pressure.

Here is the place where they give up completely

and they don't decide anything, because we rule their world.

[ Music stops ]

In Germany, the dominatrix is not having sex with her client.

So we have other ways.

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

There are hundreds of possibilities...

...thousands of fantasies.

AMANPOUR: Here, sex is stripped down to its essentials,

a physical experience removed from the trappings of love.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

But back in the real world,

where people have families and jobs and mortgage payments,

does Berlin's kink filter through?

So, ladies, how often do you guys get around,

you know, some pretzels and some banana bread to talk about sex?

Less often than I used to.

Less often than you used -- But you do?

Of course.

But not usually with people

traveling all the way from America...

[ Laughter ]

...to talk with me about sex.

AMANPOUR: Nicole, Luisa, and Sarah,

three working women, are going to hash out the truth

behind Berlin's reputation as the carnal capital of Europe.

Where does kinky stuff fit in the Berlin experience?

For you, for instance.

Well, with a 3-month old and a 4-year-old,

I haven't left the house past 9:00 p.m.

in -- I don't know -- five years?

So the kinky stuff goes right past me.

-But -- -You can be kinky at home.

Kinky at home? No. We're way too tired.

Um...

What do you make of this saying in Germany

that's sort of "KKK"?

Not that KKK, but it's "Kinder, Kueche, Kirche."

Am I right? Translate?

It means to church and children and kitchen.

So that's the way women's lives have been framed

-for a long, long time? -Yes.

So what to you does "KKK" mean --

the kids, the church, the kitchen?

I mean, look where we are.

For me, it means this kind of mother ideal

that totally isolates women from the society.

But I think in Germany especially,

this idea that you cannot go against your nature

is pretty strong from the Nazi times still.

[ Film projector clicking ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

AMANPOUR: All Hitler wanted from women was babies --

the more blue-eyed, blond-haired babies, the better.

Medals were handed out for large families,

and a cult of motherhood was born.

I remember really distinctly when I was heading towards 40,

one of my producers, a guy, said to me,

"You know, Christiane, you've been quite successful.

What are you gonna do, grow old and hug your awards?"

Kind of. "Okay. Now it's time. Get married. Have kids."

There's this fear of being lonely.

It comes from this kind of threat, you know?

Like you don't get love when you don't have a child.

What does love mean to you?

What does it mean to be loved?

Love is the foundation of our relationship stability.

This idea that we find a soul mate --

of course that implies also good sex.

I think we base all our happiness

in our relationship on that love.

And there are people who say, "That's a flimsy foundation."

For me, I would phrase it more like

we talk about connection, you know?

Like, the connection we can have in various ways.

AMANPOUR: This urge to connect keeps cropping up in Berlin.

But what keeps that connection alive in a relationship?

Is sex the most important component

of a successful relationship?

I guess so.

I think it's different from couple to couple.

So that's really interesting, because in Europe,

the birth rate is plummeting quite precipitously,

and there are huge statistics

to show that couples are not having that much sex,

not that regularly.

Apparently, men who participate more in housework

also report higher levels of sexual satisfaction

-with their wives. -Voilà .

I think this is a balance in a relationship, you know?

That means also you can negotiate.

And you can also talk about that in bed, you know?

For me, this is totally clear --

When you are equal in all sorts of levels,

you have a much more intimate way

to just be open about what you need.

So we can boost the fertility rate

by making men do more housework.

-I totally agree. -Or just sex.

Well, that goes together, apparently.

You can't get the one without the other.

[ Laughter ]

AMANPOUR: And if that doesn't work,

there's always this piece of advice

from professional dominatrix Lady Mercedes.

I say... [ Paddle smacks ] "Get undressed."

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

Learn from us.

Just put a latex panty on.

For women, it will help their sex lives

and make the sexuality more pleasant for them.

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

AMANPOUR: Far, far away from Berlin's nightclubs,

amid the rolling hills

and pastoral villages of the German countryside,

an unlikely love story is unfolding.

[ Music continues ]

Samah is a Syrian Muslim who fled the war at home

and came here to the small German town of Eschwege,

where she met Klaus, a German Christian,

and they fell in love.

I wanted to know how two people

who come from such wildly different backgrounds

find each other and make it work.

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

WOMAN: Good evening.

Welcome to the Storytelling Arena.

[ Speaking Arabic ]

We have a wonderful program for you tonight

of Syrian love stories.

AMANPOUR: I'm meeting them at an event

that introduces Germans to newcomers.

My eyes followed them out.

And I saw through the window.

In the rain, he kissed her.

How can I explain a love such as theirs?

Such a love defies the alleyways,

the streets,

whole neighborhoods.

Such a love defies the city.

Thank you.

[ Applause ]

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

SAMAH: It is not normal to talk about love in our country.

So usually when they speak about love,

they speak in a hidden way.

-And it touched your heart. -It is.

AMANPOUR: Everybody in this room --

It's full of Syrians and Germans --

They're all talking about what it's like

as a Syrian or as a German to court,

to flirt, to go out with each other.

What was it like for you?

-Yes. You can -- You can... -I'm sorry.

You have to answer these questions.

What did you like about her?

I like her attitude.

She has a certain ability to attract people.

And what did you like about him?

He's so honest.

So that's why I decided to talk to him.

AMANPOUR: Samah and Klaus met at an English class.

But she's a practicing Muslim,

and she wasn't comfortable being alone with Klaus.

So for several months, they only talked via text.

When I agreed to meet him --

to meet him to talk about our future marriage --

the appointment was at 9:00, but he came at 8:00.

-[ Laughs ] -AMANPOUR: Sorry.

You asked him so that you could interview him

-about marrying him? -Yes. Yes.

Samah told me, "In Syria, it would not be like this,

that you have a girlfriend, like in Germany."

Tell me what you said to him.

I told him, "I can't go out with you.

Either you will be a friend or I will be your spouse."

Because I I felt so shy to tell him, "I will be your..."

"Your wife." You couldn't say that.

I couldn't.

And the first kiss was near the church.

AMANPOUR: Aw.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Texting led to love and marriage and a whole new life together.

Do you feel liberated in Germany?

SAMAH: I am. Yes.

I feel that I can talk.

You know, I didn't have the chance to make mistakes.

So I want to make mistakes. Why not?

At the very beginning, when we started going out together,

it was difficult for me to have kisses in the street.

And now?

Now it's okay.

[ Laughs ]

If he forgets, I go, "Klaus, kiss me."

[ Music continues ]

AMANPOUR: So do you have a good sex life?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Yeah. [ Laughs ]

KLAUS: Yeah, our sex life...

[ Laughter ]

Did you ever think that -- I don't know --

you would find satisfaction

outside your own culture, your own country?

I didn't think about this,

because in our community, we sugar the relationship.

We are not honest.

I know what I want, but our mothers taught us

that we have to be devoted for the man.

And it took you till 55 years old...

Yes. Yes.

Let's say the sexual relationship with Klaus,

I feel like a queen.

I feel wanted.

[ Music continues ]

I'm gonna cry.

SAMAH: He is really completing me.

I'm so full of life.

And he is the one who will say, "Okay. Calm down."

Yes. I'm like a --

Don't calm her too much. She's got great spirit.

[ Laughs ]

[ Singing in Arabic ]

[ Mid-tempo music playing ]

I never expected a Syrian-German couple in their 50s

would be the ones to crack the code on love and sex,

intimacy, and the connection

that we all so desperately crave.

Berlin has always had an edge,

and Berliners cherish and nurture that reputation.

They dare to step out of their comfort zones

and explore sex and love,

wherever their desires take them.

In so many places, sex is taboo

and even love is hard to talk about.

But not here.

MAN: Thank you!

-[ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you so much.