Original subtitles

[ Lively music plays ]

AMANPOUR: Delhi is both the political brain

and the protesting fist of India.

The capital city may be more progressive

than many parts of the country,

but it's still a place where intimacy

can be governed by family, tradition, and religion.

I want to explore how women can find love

and sexual happiness

if they don't always have the power to say yes or no.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Delhi is a city of over 18 million people

that's constantly growing.

[ Horns honking ]

Thank you.

Whoo.

People come here to get an education...

...to find work...

...and maybe even love.

I'm told that habits

are becoming more Westernized in urban India.

Women are marrying later,

and young people have more of a say

in choosing a partner.

There. Ooh, I see a boy and a girl.

We're coming right at them.

So I'm hitting the streets to learn more

about Delhi's sexual status quo.

I'm sorry to stop you on the street like this,

but I want to ask you about your coupledom.

We are not a couple.

Oh, what are you?

-Hi, guys. -Hey.

Can I talk to you?

-Salaam. -Salaam. How are you?

-How are you? -Very good, thank you. Fine.

-We always see you on the -- -On the television.

-Are you guys married? -Yeah, we got married.

For a love match, or was your marriage arranged?

A love match.

And what did your parents say about that?

Nothing, because the religion was same.

-So it was fine? -Yeah, it's fine.

-And you? -I was arranged marriage.

And how did that work out for you?

It's good, very good.

And what do you think of the young people

who want to just get married on their own?

They should go for the arranged marriage.

-Why? -Because love marriages

does not give long time.

[ Laughter ]

Is he related to you?

-Yeah, he's my father. -He's your dad?

[ Laughter ]

What is it like to date in India?

Because I mean, you know, society is quite...conservative.

-Is it acceptable? -Yeah.

Can you go around holding hands, hugging?

[ Laughs ] He's laughing.

Here in India, you cannot roam freely.

I am just holding her hand. Nothing else I am doing.

The aunties watch, like, "What are you doing," yeah?

So all the aunties are watching?

-Like four eyes. -Four eyes.

-Can you kiss? -No, we cannot kiss in public.

-Some privacy -- -Yeah, yeah.

So do you cuddle? Do you...

Not in public, but we do, yeah.

Normal intimacy is a good thing,

but too much is against the parents.

Okay, what is normal intimacy?

Like kissing and hugging and holding hands.

Kissing and hugging's okay?

And too much is what?

-Sex. -Sex.

I know this is private, but are you going to have been intimate

-before your wedding night? -No.

-No. -No?

It has been four and a half years

that we are in a relationship but to that extent, never.

Do you guys have sex before marriage?

-WOMAN: No. -MAN: I have.

You have? And you?

-I have. -You did? See, boys.

Ah, well, it's okay. It's their choice.

I'm not comfortable, so I am not gonna do it.

CHILD: Twelve, eleven, ten, nine,

eight, seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one.

AMANPOUR: Do we come here with preconceived notions

about what it is to be Indian?

MULCHANDANI: That's what they say about India,

that everything you think about India is true

and everything that's opposite of it is also true.

A lot of Westerners perceive India to be

as this traditional, bound society

which is kind of frozen in time.

We're a modern nation. We're a young nation now.

And a lot of it is changing.

AMANPOUR: Intimacy, is that something people focus on here?

Um, no.

I didn't think you were gonna say that.

I thought that was a dumb question.

Sandhya Mulchandani

is a Delhi-based journalist-turned-author.

She writes about love, erotic literature,

and Indian masculinity.

MULCHANDANI: When you get married,

you marry the entire family, as you know,

so my generation or the ones previous to it,

intimacy was something the husband would have

looked at you, saying, "What are we talking about?

Because I provide and I look after you,

so what is intimacy?"

Have you answered that question for yourself?

[ Both laugh ]

Yes.

Intimacy is a fairly modern concept today,

-for younger people. -Yeah, yeah.

And it is something that they're building.

AMANPOUR: So I find it very counterintuitive

that there are young women

talking openly about sex, about what they want.

MULCHANDANI: Women who wore saris all their lives

suddenly are wearing trousers.

Women who are ambitious, who seek their own partners,

who seek their own career paths,

are able to sing, dance, smoke, and be themselves.

It's a huge change in India, and it's aspirational.

AMANPOUR: I see these notices up,

one that says, "Eve teasing is an offense."

What is that?

Young men who used to think

that was a fun thing, to tease women,

and a lot of it came from Hindi cinema,

where the hero always teases the girl,

the girl that caught his eye,

to kind of turn her attention to him.

But the problem is when it becomes harassment,

-because women are scared. -Mm-hmm.

You don't want to take the men on.

AMANPOUR: One group of women who've found a way

to outpace some of this unwanted attention

are the Delhi Bikerni.

This all-female biker club takes on the traffic

and goes on regular rides together.

Cow!

AMANPOUR: Today, they've invited me to come along with them.

We're heading to one of their roadside hangouts

in Gurgaon, on the outskirts of the city.

All right! Wow.

Thank you, ladies. That was fun.

That was a first.

Whoo!

It's like a death trap here,

and the cows on the road!

Whoa!

Kind of unusual, isn't it,

in India, to have a female biker gang?

SHABNAM: Typically, women are brought up from childhood

with the thought that you don't do this,

you don't do that.

You're given a lot of things,

what you don't do,

and we've broken through all of that.

GYPSY: So there are different kind of reactions

that I get when I ride.

There are people who come up to me

and who give a thumbs-up.

Very happy to see that a female is riding,

but then there's a different lot, as well,

who tries to be aggressive with me,

tries to come close to me while I'm riding,

so that's also there.

Essentially, I started riding a bike when, uh,

somebody was teasing me on a bus station,

and I said, "Okay, enough is enough.

I'm not taking this anymore,

and I'm not going by public transport."

And just to be clear,

Eve teasing is not some benign little teasing.

It's harassment.

The real word is harassment.

-Do they touch you? -Rub against you.

-Yeah, yeah. -They'll touch you.

They'll rub against you.

-AMANPOUR: Really? -Grab at you.

It's that blatant?

-That blatant. -Yes.

And to any age woman?

-Any age woman. -Yes, yes.

It's not age-specific.

It can happen even with minors, actually.

I went through it as a minor, as well, so I know that.

Did you experience that?

That's the reason why I took up riding,

because not only does biking gives me freedom to ride,

but it also saves me from all that hassle that I go through

on the public transport.

I have grown up in Delhi.

All my education has been in Delhi,

and I also feel that Delhi's not a safe place.

I don't feel safe here.

I'm very sorry to say it, but that's the truth.

[ Crowd chanting ]

AMANPOUR: Delhi has become the subject

of intense media coverage.

Radicals have been known to attack young couples

for showing affection in public

and groups of women who were out socializing and drinking.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

A brutal gang rape and murder in Delhi in 2012

turned the spotlight onto the issue of sexual violence here,

a subject which many feel has been ignored for too long.

[ Crowd chanting ]

Delhi has since been described

as the fourth-most dangerous city in the world for women.

So that is the reason you decided to get a bike?

SHABNAM: That is the reason where I started on a bike.

The thing is, with a bike, it's addictive.

It was an extension of my body.

-It was freedom. -SHABNAM: It was freedom.

And like she said,

the recognition you see in other people's eyes.

That makes such a difference.

That's why I'm always there

for young girls trying to learn how to ride.

-It gives you a sense of self. -Mm-hmm.

You're no longer ready to take shit.

I mean, you know, amen to that, sister.

If a guy has problems with your riding, he's not for you.

My way or the highway.

[ Laughs ] On a bike.

-Literally. -[ Laughter ]

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

What do you feel when you know that people all over the world

look at this country and they ask,

"Why is there this violence against women?"

We don't quite have a culture where boys met girls naturally

and had friendships.

It's always seen as a sexual relationship.

AMANPOUR: And yet this in a culture

that has literally more than a thousand years

of the Kama Sutra, erotica, almost liberal sexuality.

Liberal sexuality which accepted a society of variation

and lived with it comfortably.

Now, when you are actually trying to impose laws,

whether it is by judiciary or by politics

or by any other standards,

you're actually hedging in these people

and forcing them into subverted behaviors,

which is not natural.

But there's a lot of media coverage,

and there's a lot more awareness

that these things should not be done.

These are ordinary men

stepping back and saying, "I'm not that man."

AMANPOUR: That's a good change.

MULCHANDANI: Yeah, because you cannot

change a society overnight.

[ Electric guitar music plays ]

AMANPOUR: Premarital sex is considered immoral

by most people in India.

Unmarried couples attempting to check in to a hotel

will often be refused a room,

and living together before marriage

isn't always an option, either.

Seeking out the right relationship

is difficult at the best of times,

so how does that work in a country

where inter-caste matches, love marriages,

and sex outside of marriage

are still taboo for so many people?

So what about the boys?

I mean, look, I ask you in the context

of arranged marriages.

Everybody's complaining

about what it's like to love, sex, date.

It's a lot more fun than you give it credit for.

-For you? -Yeah, for me.

I mean, this is obviously one of those things

where we live in a little bubble.

RUKUN: Liberals, fairly privileged.

Exposure to outside of India.

NAOMI: We're anglicized as all hell,

so we tend to have gotten a lot of those kind of values.

RUKUN: We did grow up with parents

whose primary concern was to study, study, and study.

As opposed to marry, marry, marry?

-Absolutely. -I think we're very lucky.

What is -- What is your sex life like?

-[ Both laugh ] -Active?

Yes, very, very much so.

I don't like dating one person at a time.

-Oh, really? -NAOMI: Yeah.

So I think Tinder has been, uh,

a lot of help in that regard.

There's Tinder here?

Oh, yeah, Tinder is huge here.

I don't know how I'd meet people without it.

Tinder came in with, like, full force.

Everybody knew about what Tinder was,

so slowly, it started with the upper crust,

and then it just went down to everyone.

But the interesting thing to note is,

Tinder struggled so much,

'cause the country doesn't know the concept of dating.

So that's interesting. So dating just doesn't happen?

-Yeah. -Not -- Not so much,

because the idea that everybody's always fed

is, like, we're priming you up for marriage.

So a lot of apps now

have to actually put conversations out there.

This is, like, what it means to ask someone out.

-How has this affected the boys? -NAOMI: They hate it.

It's one of the only spaces in India

where the girl actually has more power than men.

Really?

Because there are so many men.

I may be swiping on every guy,

and chances are I will match with all of them.

-NAOMI: Yeah, pretty much. -But the men

will not have the same option.

Because?

I think the difference comes from the fact

that in India, good girls don't date.

You can date quietly,

but you can't have a public profile out there

that says, "I'm available.

I'm possibly sexually active."

-They're all covertly dating. -NAOMI: Yeah, that's true.

You're doing it, but you're just not letting anyone else know,

lest people think you're not virtuous.

-Not a virgin? -Absolutely.

That's still a big deal, to be a virgin when married?

NAOMI: That's still very much a thing

where if a guy's fucked around, it's all right,

but if a girl has, he's gonna have to be okay with this,

rather than being not an issue at all.

A lot of Indian women end up discovering their sexuality

online, like through erotica, through writing, through porn.

So porn here is liberating for some women?

-For me, it has been. -Yeah, exactly.

-Always. -Yeah.

RUKUN: Sex ed in the country is dismal.

The most popular way of learning about sex

is mainstream porn, where, you know,

the woman has to be subjugated,

and it starts with, like, the woman giving head.

In the middle, the guy's gonna go down on her for five minutes,

then finally start having sex.

Eventually ends up with a guy coming on the woman's face.

And that's mainstream?

RUKUN: That is mainstream, even in the U.S.

I think men think that this is how

sex is supposed to be had.

Men do very little to accommodate women's needs.

NAOMI: Oh, yeah, they're terrible.

You said they're terrible.

Men just don't like to give head.

The penis is still the center of attention.

In this particular culture, they've always seen women

as a kind of function of their needs and their roles.

Certain men in India have a bad reputation.

I'm not entirely certain that it's a necessarily Indian thing,

as against a patriarchy thing.

This kind of stuff happens in American campuses,

but you wouldn't go so far as to say

white frat boys kind of got a bit of a rape-y problem

happening over there, you know?

While rape by itself is endemic,

gang rape is -- I wouldn't say as endemic.

There's a lot of media focus on it.

RUKUN: And yet women like me

are constantly looking at their watch and being like,

"Well, this is, like, dark. Now I need to go home."

'Cause it's just too dangerous to walk home in the dark?

And no amount of privilege can really help you,

'cause it's essentially in the fiber

of how schools teach men how to be men.

Parents, you know, inculcate little boys

with how to be -- you know, how to be little boys.

NAOMI: When you're a child in most of India,

you're not allowed to talk to a boy

until your parents deem you fit to get married.

So don't talk to boys,

don't talk to boys, don't talk to boys,

now fuck this one and have babies.

-[ Laughs ] -NAOMI: It's ridiculous.

And this is why, for a lot of --

Indian men don't know what to do with relationships.

[ Soft music plays ]

We were married about 62 years back.

Still I love him, very much.

We fight, but not much.

NIHARIKA: The moment he came in my life,

happiness was like, "Okay, come on."

[ Laughs ]

"Let's be happy together."

KULDEEP: I was getting old and my mother said,

"Why don't you look for a girl?"

NIHARIKA: So I didn't know how to use Tinder.

But the moment I pressed the heart,

the pictures kept changing,

so I kept on clicking on that heart again and again.

He said, "Hello, beautiful smile."

I was like, "Oh-ho, let me talk to this guy."

No, no, no. Let me say something.

My sister wrote to me. She suggested many boys.

But in the last line she wrote

this thing that there's a boy from J&K.

Something clicked in me. I thought, "This is the boy."

He came on his Bullet, and I was like,

"Oh, my God, he has a Bullet! Yay!"

ABHISHEK: A Bullet is a bike which everyone likes,

in India especially.

She always wanted to have a Bullet.

-I want one. -[ Abhishek laughs ]

After that, we were meeting every day.

Not even a single day was missed.

HARSHI: They sent me his picture.

He looked very...

What should I... [ Speaks native language ]

-Mischievous. -Mischievous.

I fell for that.

This is how our marriage was...

-Fixed up. -Fixed up.

I sent her picture to my family.

And they were like, "Is she gonna be your wife?"

And then he sent me a screenshot,

and I was like, "What is this going on?

I'm still not in love with this guy.

He never asked me, nothing,

and he's planning to get married to me?"

HARSHI: He said, "I'm sending you a diamond ring."

It was a very small post office.

They said, "We have received a parcel,

but there must be two witnesses."

We didn't have any witness, so what to do?

Suddenly it struck me that I have his letter,

in which he had written "love."

This is the ring.

KULDEEP: It cost me $10.

But till that time we had not met.

In India, the arrangement is, like, they check your family.

-Your background. -What's your background.

I was telling my mom, "He's not of our caste."

The first reaction, "Which caste, then?"

I said, "Does it matter?" She said, "Yes, it does."

The moment she said that, I just said, "It's okay.

I don't want you to come to the marriage,

and I'll have a happy life, and then you will regret.

That's fine," and then I started crying,

because at that day I realized I really love him.

Then my mom realized, "Okay, everybody's happy.

Only I am the one who is struggling with this,"

so she was like, "Okay, get married."

I said I won't meet him till we got married.

He came one day before and I only saw his arm.

[ Laughs ]

I said, "He seems to be a nice person."

[ Slow rock music plays ]

AMANPOUR: This is the Kinky Collective,

a group dedicated to a BDSM lifestyle.

They've asked us to maintain their anonymity

because they don't feel safe

coming out of the shadows just yet.

[ Woman singing in native language ]

WOMAN: Busting myths to do with BDSM is one of the main reasons

why the Kinky Collective exists.

[ Singing continues ]

MAN: We have so limited knowledge about kink

that we think kink is something violent.

WOMAN: In fact, because it is consensual,

it can define what cruelty is not.

MAN: The important word here is "play."

I'm not really suffocating someone,

not really trying to kill someone.

WOMAN: It's about intensity, connection, caring.

MAN: It is not about surrendering to someone,

but it is about surrendering.

WOMAN: Being a dominant or a submissive is about my pleasure.

The other person can be absolutely anybody,

even a perfect stranger.

MAN: People don't judge whether I have money or not,

my caste, my religion.

They don't give a damn.

Only they think about that you are human,

you are into kink, you are welcome.

WOMAN: I just let go, not responsible for anything.

It's just the two of you.

Nothing else in the world matters.

MAN: You give up control to the divine.

At that moment, my dominant is the divine.

[ Deep exhalation ]

[ Projector clicking ]

WOMAN: This is a woman dominant,

and those are two transgender people.

AMANPOUR: I've always assumed BDSM is about pain and violence,

so the Collective invites me to see some of their photos

to dispel my misconceptions about kink.

[ Laughter ]

Should we be surprised that this is happening in India?

I mean, it does have a reputation

of everything but kink.

Mind you, it is the home of the Kama Sutra.

MAN: Oh, yes, that's exactly what I was about to say,

that if it's not in India, where it shall be?

Because of the years of British rule,

we have actually forgotten our culture.

Even in mythological texts,

we find references to an erotic activity.

Bite marks, grabbing of the hair.

Even in the ancient religious texts?

Oh, yes, everything is happening.

And yet you are all anonymous for us today.

MAN: Yes, yes.

We want to be out there in the open,

but society is not yet ready to accept.

This is me.

That's you?

Ah, I wouldn't have said it. You surprise me.

-Kink is about surprises. -[ Laughs ]

MAN: This talks about the gender fluidity.

In our existing society,

it's very difficult to be yourself.

-This is my hand right there. -This is your hand?

MAN: Yeah, that's how I find my submission.

My wife was actually practicing knots.

So your wife is into it?

MAN: Yeah, she's right there.

AMANPOUR: Great, all right.

So you've found the perfect partner for this?

Explain the safe word.

Something is happening that you're not okay with,

you use your safe word, and you can get out,

and the scene immediately stops.

AMANPOUR: Next one.

Aww.

[ Laughter ]

What is it, before I get caught doing this?

A male chastity belt.

Oh.

[ Laughter ]

MAN: Talks about the female dominant,

where the dominant not only inflicts an amount of pain,

which is mutually consented to, but also talks about power.

In India, there is a phrase called "joru gagalam,"

which means "slave to the woman."

-And that's what you wanted? -MAN: Yeah.

I am raised up in a very orthodox family

in a very small town,

and coming from a patriarch family,

it was very difficult,

because, you know, I have to be macho man.

This is a photograph

of a submissive that I was playing with.

Having this desire to kiss the feet of a woman.

Is that what a foot fetish is?

-MAN: Yeah. -Ah.

MAN: It can be just even worshiping.

Even a pedicure can also be an act of submission.

It's going to make me think very, very, very hard

-next time I go to get mine. -[ Laughter ]

MAN: This is where I break a spoon on somebody's ass.

So you hit somebody's butt.

MAN: Yes, many times, and the spoon --

-Until the spoon breaks? -MAN: Yeah.

It was consensual.

She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.

And actually, I don't remember whether it's she or he.

It was you? It was your wife?

And you don't remember whether it was a he or she.

There is something that I'm not computing here.

Would she be able to break a spoon on your behind?

MAN: Every day.

Every day. [ Laughs ]

I need to talk to her.

WOMAN: This is me and my husband.

-And you're Monty's wife? -WOMAN: Uh, yeah.

I'm a switch, so I've gone through different phases

wherein you feel submissive, you feel dominant.

What if you and Monty

are feeling dominant at the same time?

We go out and play with other people.

-Do you have a happy marriage? -I have a very happy marriage.

MAN: If there's one most important thing to me

with regard to kink, it is how we deal with consent.

Look at marriage.

Under Indian law, the husband,

even if he forces himself upon the wife,

cannot be charged with rape.

Marital rape is not illegal in India.

However, the kink scene is looked as perversion.

The safe word completely stops a scene

at whatever point it might be.

Unless you have the power to withdraw consent,

it is not absolute consent.

[ Ethereal music plays ]

AMANPOUR: For thousands of years,

India has recognized the hijra community.

They may be born biologically male,

but they see themselves as female...

...or as a third indefinable gender.

[ Man vocalizing ]

[ Woman vocalizing ]

[ Man vocalizing ]

[ Horns honking ]

[ Indistinct talking ]

AMANPOUR: Hijras are visible on Delhi's streets.

-[ Speaks native language ] -AMANPOUR: Begging for money

in return for offering blessings.

They use superstition to extract small handouts,

but prejudice against them limits their access

to education, employment, and housing.

Although India enshrined the right to choose a gender

in 2014, hijras still often live in poverty

and suffer sexual violence.

[ Speaks native language ]

Watch your steps here. This is a difficult entrance.

AMANPOUR: I mean, firstly, Abhina,

why are we going through this broken area?

I mean, there must be an easier way to get into the park.

Absolutely, and the reason why is that in the night,

when it is pitch dark,

this park is transformed into a sex work place.

So this is the entrance where most of the clients

enter into the park.

Almost 80% transgender are unemployed,

so majority of them have to do sex work

to earn their resources,

and these kinds of parks in the night

serve them as a professional space.

A kind of brothel. An outdoor brothel.

An outdoor brothel.

AMANPOUR: Abhina Aher is a transgender activist,

and she's offered to walk me through

the complexities of a community

that seems to be both protected and discriminated against.

AHER: I've been part of the sex work, to be honest with you.

I'm a software engineer, but I was not getting jobs for --

AMANPOUR: You're a software engineer?

So you went from software engineer to sex work?

AHER: To sex work and then social work.

That's the kind of work that I engage in.

AMANPOUR: Let's go meet some of your friends.

AHER: The hijras are dancers. They are well-wishers.

AMANPOUR: Hi.

[ All singing in native language ]

AHER: The authentic profession of hijras is buddhi.

Means that whenever there is a baby born,

marriage, or some sort of happy occasion,

hijras will go, they will play music,

they will dance and give blessings.

Transgender is a big issue around the world right now.

Obviously in the United States and everywhere.

Yes.

What makes it so different here?

We always had three genders.

All hijra people are considered to be divine

because they are in between, neither male, neither female,

and when you go through the castration process,

then you have no connections with the world.

You become nirwaan.

Nirwaan is somebody that you become more closer to the god.

So this has been sort of enshrined

and part of society for a long time?

AHER: Absolutely. Hijras were prominent people.

The stature of hijras actually came down under the Tribal Act.

AMANPOUR: Tribal Act, when the British came?

When the British came, because when the British came,

they saw a temple of hijras for the first time.

For them, homosexuality was a big no

when it comes to the Christianity.

For us, the sex was not something that is taboo.

This is one of the basic needs of the body.

India's apparently the only country which has

sexual activity carved on the temple.

You know, I have such a hard time

computing what you're saying.

You know, sexual activity carved on a temple.

And yet today, it's worse than Victorian.

Absolutely.

You definitely don't live a divine earthly existence.

No, we don't. We have two sides.

On this side, we are blessed.

On this side, we are cursed.

Somebody wants to touch your feet to get a blessing,

and that's it.

You are isolated from the society.

AMANPOUR: You are college-educated.

You're a software engineer,

and you have to hide in the bushes for clients?

Yes, absolutely, because when I started transitioning

as a transgender person,

I faced a huge amount of stigma in my workplace.

I had to leave that job, and for three years,

I survived on sex work.

I remember I used to stand

on the railway tracks to wait for a client,

and that was a very, very difficult point for me.

Every day, when I used to go for a sex work, Christiane,

I did not know I would survive on that day.

-Wow. -I felt that somebody

was really sitting on my ego and pressing it so hard,

it almost felt like I should commit suicide.

-Really? -I-I tried to commit suicide

three times in my life.

Despite all the troubles you've gone through,

are you in love?

Well, I am in a relationship.

To be honest with you, Christiane,

finding love is a difficult thing for a transgender person.

What matters is the person next to you

is willing to accept you the way you are,

give dignity, respect,

and treat you as an equal partner.

Everybody has those same desires and needs.

Exactly, exactly. Love is love.

[ Slow music plays ]

[ Woman singing in native language ]

AMANPOUR: My preconceptions about relationships in India

involve notions of shame, family expectations,

and fewer choices for women.

But this is hard to reconcile with their history of eroticism.

Or even Bollywood.

So what happens when this country is presented

with a Westernized Indian woman

who makes no apologies for her past?

Sunny Leone was born in Canada, raised in America,

and found fame here in India.

I like this.

We meet at her friend's designer showroom for a fitting.

-That's beautiful. -She was my first showstopper.

Really? I didn't know that.

You are a major Bollywood star.

Yeah, I don't see myself as "major" anything,

but it's been a nice journey so far.

It's been a difficult journey.

When people think of India, they think,

"Oh, it's going to be so conservative."

I worked in the adult-entertainment industry

for a really long time.

-As a porn star? -LEONE: Yeah.

Breaking into this world, it's virtually impossible.

Because of that?

Because I stood up in front of the entire world,

and I said, "Hi. My name's Sunny Leone,

and I'm a porn star from the U.S."

I'm not ashamed of who I am.

I don't regret any decisions that I've made in my life.

Accept me or don't accept me.

It doesn't -- It's not gonna bother me.

Given your past, what's the reaction to you here?

When I first got here, it was,

"Oh, Sunny's doing a bold scene,"

or, "Oh, my gosh, she's wearing a bikini!"

But where it comes up multiple times

is when either something amazing happens.

You know, like I just adopted a baby girl from India.

-Did you? -And every headline is,

"Sunny Leone, porn star to Bollywood actress

to now mother," right?

So how do you deal with it, then?

Because you are very natural.

You're very yourself. You're not embarrassed.

I just don't read the news. [ Laughs ]

Are you trying to use your visibility

to say something to young women?

I don't necessarily think of myself

as someone that preaches you should be a certain way.

I think it's more about making your own choices in life.

The question that pops up a lot is,

"How can, you know, a young woman in India

be more confident," or, "How can she figure out

how to get the strength, maybe, that you have,"

and I always say, it's telling your husband,

"No, you're gonna change the diaper today,"

or, "No, you're gonna do the dishes today."

The idea of an un-gender-biased home.

That's actually something that I preach all the time.

That's the home that I grew up in.

So that's definitely not something that happens here?

No, but I do see a lot of changes happening.

Films here -- That's the news.

They might not watch the news,

but they will definitely watch a Bollywood film.

So the idea of bringing about social change

through Bollywood actresses

may be a little bit more effective sometimes.

You're taking part in commercials for condoms, right?

Condoms and also anti-smoking ads.

And you choose those because of the social message?

When you come from the West and you think of a condom,

it's not a big deal.

You're like, "Yeah, of course you have to use one."

Here, it's not something you talk about.

When Bollywood celebrities or these types of people

start preaching these things, then it becomes a norm.

Delhi is not the norm.

This is a very metropolitan, very forward-thinking city.

Outside of Delhi, the young people out there,

they want to see change, too, and the only way to --

only way for change to happen is if they see that it's okay.

Need to reduce it by 5 inches.

It's long, and then it's a little loose on the waist.

AMANPOUR: I want to try a sari.

I may be mutton dressed up as lamb, but nonetheless.

[ Laughter ]

-That's a nice one. -LEONE: Oh.

AMANPOUR: I've got a major Bollywood star

and a major designer putting me...

-In a sari. -...in a sari.

MAYYUR: Some serious draping.

Beautiful, though. The color!

So now we make the pleats.

AMANPOUR: I don't know how anybody's mother

gets dressed up in this every day.

MAYYUR: Millions of women every day in India,

and they even do yoga and exercise.

-In this? -In this.

My mom used to wear a sari

running around, cooking.

Is that what inspired you? Your mum?

Yes, definitely.

Oh, my God.

LEONE: Now try and walk.

[ Laughter ]

She's walking how I walk when I wear a sari.

Can we put some jewelry on you?

AMANPOUR: This is so opulent.

I do actually feel like a maharani.

Aw, now, when you do this [Sighs]

You have to look sultry and virginal all at the same time.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

See my face!

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

The people I've met here in Delhi

represent a certain segment of Indian society.

Even with the issues surrounding women's safety in Delhi,

in many ways, it's still years ahead

in terms of relationships

than more remote parts of the country.

Caste, clan, religion, and arranged marriage

are still the ties that bind for those on the outskirts.

One man who knows this all too well is Sanjoy Sachdev,

a journalist and founder of the Love Commandos,

which has just one mission -- to protect the freedom to love.

Okay, what is a love commando?

We are attempting to save lives

of young boys and girls who are in love.

Because they are threatened

with violence, with killing in the name of so-called honor.

But usually the woman.

They kill both.

Government of India has signed

the International Declaration of Human Rights.

Article 16, it says that we will allow marriage by choice only.

But what is happening?

Marriage by arrangement.

Caste, sub-caste, super sub-caste...

Brahmin is not allowed to marry a Sikh.

Hindu is not allowed to marry a Muslim.

What is this nonsense?

What we call dating you don't have here.

The date goes to public places.

Fundamentalists and many times police catches them,

beats them mercilessly.

Really? You're not just exaggerating?

Even if they are sitting together like this.

Just for putting their arm around each other?

Yeah, they are beaten.

I had friends from Germany.

They live together first, have children, marry later!

In this country, people will kill them on the roads.

So what does that mean for a couple's human connection?

That is what Love Commandos is fighting for.

A couple comes to you. They're terrified.

They may be on the wrong side of the culture,

their faith, their parents.

What do you do for them?

All over the country, we have 450 plus makeshift shelters.

These makeshift shelters are places of namaste.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

MAN: Love is the most amazing feeling.

WOMAN: Love is friendship.

AMANPOUR: One young couple

at the Love Commandos' Delhi shelter agrees to talk,

though for safety, their identities are hidden.

MAN: We have been married 3 months.

I used to go to my college and her home is on the way.

Then I just could not forget her.

Just thinking about her, about her.

WOMAN: I liked his face too.

We kept chatting on WhatsApp and fell in love.

MAN: We are from different castes.

But the main problem is

that we are from the neighboring villages.

They think any girl and boy from neighboring villages

are so-called brothers and sisters.

That is why they're not allowing us to marry.

WOMAN: I was scared that my family might find out.

They might kill us.

MAN: We did not tell anyone, just came here and got married.

We miss our families.

Every boy, every girl cannot forget their family so easily.

They've tried to get in touch with us, saying come home.

But if we go home, there is no future of us.

How much people can you kill?

One day they will have to accept love marriages.

SACHDEV: We believe that love is this natural right.

Please give them.

Otherwise, country is on a volcano.

Whenever youth has been suppressed,

oppressed, depressed and crushed,

there has been a blast

and they have snatched whatever they wanted.

Has it made a difference, your work?

Definitely.

The couples who have been helped by us

now they are helping others.

HARSHI: He was the most nervous bridegroom.

I tried...

to wink at him.

But he was just...

I took hold of his hand and we became friends.

After our marriage, I sat in the front on his bicycle

and we roamed about in our city.

We became lovers...

in one day.

And now it's 62 years.

Marriage is give and take.

He makes tea for me.

He's a very good tea maker.

I like tea a lot,

so every morning,

he'll make tea for me and then wake me up.

We will chitchat for a while.

Our conversations are endless.

She has a lot of stories to tell.

And he's the one who listens.

[ Both laugh ]

We plan together.

We dream together.

I would suggest people, they should go against their parents

and get married, really,

because if you feel you're really happy with someone,

that person is going to keep you happy all life long.

-HARSHI: I can kiss? -KULDEEP: Yeah.

It's so easy.

Living together for many more years

is an aspiration still,

but it's all in the hand of God, eh?