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®Hon3yHD.com!®
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- Ash, stop the car!
- (all screaming)
2
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(tires screeching)
3
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,606
- Welcome to the '80s, kid.
- We're in the '80s?
4
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,524
If young me never reads
from that book,
5
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,923
then evil will not plague my life,
and Pablo will be alive again.
6
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,441
I haven't read from the book.
This can't be happening!
7
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,931
Run!
8
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,810
Who's there?
Henrietta.
9
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,129
My husband,
he's found some Book of the Dead.
10
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,124
Why am I here?
What the... fuck!
11
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,523
So I read from the book,
and summoned the Kandarian Demon.
12
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,290
- (grunts)
' (ripping)
13
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:38,771
(all screaming)
14
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,410
Ash:
Stop the Professor!
15
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,168
(grunts)
I'm going to hurt you
16
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,324
real bad.
17
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,762
(crow cawing)
18
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,770
You'll never get the Necronomicon.
(cackling)
19
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,491
Poindexter, you get your ass
over here right now!
20
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,688
Please forgive me!
21
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,406
Oh, my God.
He just left with the book.
22
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,801
No one escapes their destiny, Ash.
23
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,127
- (shotgun cocks)
- Yours is to watch me
24
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suck out your soul!
25
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,368
Make sure you suck both barrels.
26
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,048
(groaning)
27
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,645
uaughs)
28
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,406
(screaming)
29
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,842
(screaming)
30
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,802
(music playing)
31
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:58,010
Deadite Henrietta: Delicious,
but I couldn't possibly finish!
32
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,449
Tanya: Help me!
33
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,804
Please!
(sobbing)
34
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,962
- I don't want to die!
- (Deadite Henrietta cackling)
35
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,566
Come on, sweet cheeks.
36
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,008
(wood creaking)
37
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,371
(breathing heavily)
Help me!
38
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,485
Oh, Ruby, it's you.
39
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:41,405
Oh, great. You got the book.
Good job.
40
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,362
- What's different about you?
- (shrieking)
41
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,244
Whoa!
(grunting)
42
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,006
Deadite Henrietta:
Ah, come here!
43
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,366
- Whoa.
- Who are you?
44
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,450
I'm you... from another time.
45
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,521
What are you doing here?
46
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,921
- I came for that.
- (faint whispering)
47
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,531
And for Ash.
So where is he?
48
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,569
- (growling, clattering in basement)
- Ash!
49
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,571
(grunts)
50
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,882
You're with him?
51
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,482
Ah!
52
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,801
How about some nice warm milk?
53
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,962
- No!
- From Granny!
54
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,963
No!
(gmamns)
55
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,044
No! No!
56
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,081
(chuckfing)
57
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,483
Prison rules, eh?
58
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:53,641
(yells)
59
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,041
Ooh!
60
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,441
Feels so good inside me!
61
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:03,401
- (ragtime music playing)
- (grunting)
62
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,404
(chuckles) I don't pop my cork
for every man I see!
63
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,006
' (groans)
' (roaring)
64
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:16,842
I'll kill you!
I'll kill you!
65
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,923
I'll rip your face off!
(roars)
66
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,327
Stay still!
67
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,765
- Suck on this, bitch!
- (laughing)
68
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,524
Let go my face!
Is that all you got?
69
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,364
- Fuck!
- (grunting)
70
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,884
Get ready, Ash!
71
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,122
Whee!
72
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,044
- Whoa! Whoa!
- I like it on top!
73
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,965
Nla l
' (Yells) ca ly)
74
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,330
(Deadite Henrietta screaming)
75
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,411
FUCK... you!
76
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,482
- You're some kind of trick.
- No, the opposite.
77
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,928
I'm the key to you getting
everything you ever wanted.
78
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,969
All I ever wanted was this book,
and my...
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00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,929
And your babies.
I know.
80
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,444
(groans, neck cracking)
81
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,010
Okay, well, that old bat
must've really rung my bell good,
82
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,804
'cause I'm seeing
two Ruby's fight now.
83
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,405
One too many.
84
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,451
Wait, this is your opportunity
to choose a new life.
85
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,365
Oh, wait a second.
I know what's going on now.
86
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,284
You're the '80s version of Ruby.
87
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,442
Wow! That is trippy.
88
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,886
Oh, here's a question.
89
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,441
If we all had sex right now,
would it still be a threesome,
90
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,250
'cause technically
you're both the same person?
91
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,801
(chuckfing)
92
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,646
Okay, well, either way, you should listen
to this Ruby, 'cause your future sucks.
93
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,280
Your demon kids are going to betray
you for their demon dad.
94
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,005
Then they're going to
make you kill 'em.
95
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,571
- What?
- Yeah.
96
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,529
Didn't see that coming, did you?
Trying to help.
97
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,650
- (gasps)
- You kill my babies?
98
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,131
But you don't have to.
99
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,130
Don't you get it? You can walk away
with your immortality intact.
100
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,767
- You can create a new future.
- What would I even do?
101
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,367
Anything, you can do anything.
102
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,761
Anything?
103
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,162
- Oh!
' No!
104
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,448
(gasping)
105
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,606
Kelly: Ruby!
106
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,566
She won't be down long.
107
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,166
I'll do what I can,
but I want you to get out of here now.
108
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,362
And just leave you here alone to die?!
I don't think so.
109
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:08,965
No, we just need
to stop this bleeding.
110
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,805
Kelly... stop.
111
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,447
So, Ruby, does this mean I don't have to
pay back the 20 bucks I owe you?
112
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,046
It's 200 bucks.
113
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,850
(wheezing)
114
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,930
I was wrong about you.
115
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,360
You're an all right sort of person.
116
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,363
Sort of.
117
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,205
Well, and even though
you unleashed evil on the world,
118
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:34,805
you didn't get in my way
while I cleaned it up,
119
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,611
so I guess you're an okay half-demon,
half-person yourself.
120
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,683
(faint breathing)
121
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,644
(exhales)
122
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,486
- I'm not dead, you dumb bastard.
- Oh, wow.
123
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,529
That was weird.
You were really still for a minute.
124
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,365
Oh, Kelly... take it.
125
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,604
You know what to do.
126
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,081
And you go and forge that path,
all right?
127
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,651
(wheezes)
128
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:11,765
(grunts)
129
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,927
I'll hold her off as long as I can.
130
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:19,931
Time to go.
131
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,364
(gunshots)
132
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,808
' (Dark R
_ grunts)
133
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,964
- Oh! (groans)
- (creaking)
134
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,209
- What the deuce is going on?
- Ash, what's wrong?
135
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,804
Holy hand!
Kelly, you see this?!
136
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,167
I got a hand! It's real!
137
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,403
It works!
It's magnificent!
138
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,283
Too bad Pablo
couldn't be here to see this.
139
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,125
No, Ash, don't you see
what this means?
140
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,328
We changed history.
141
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,682
It worked!
142
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,808
(thumping)
143
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,041
Pablo!
144
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,930
- Let me out of here!
- (laughing)
145
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,646
Wait a minute.
I was-- What is...
146
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,246
What is...
what is happening?
147
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,004
- What is going on?
- Well, you were dead.
148
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,810
- Uh-huh.
- So, we went back in time,
149
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,844
we changed history,
and now you're back alive.
150
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,082
- Wait, I was dead?
- Oh, yeah.
151
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,322
Sunken eyes, horrible stench,
the whole nine yards.
152
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,766
Welcome back, Pablito.
153
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,844
- Wow.
- Yeah!
154
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,571
Now that is
a firm handshake, Jefe!
155
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,166
Crazy, huh?
Brand-spanking-new hand.
156
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,322
Or, brand-new spanking hand?
157
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,921
Hey, now...
158
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,368
Wait, guys, where's Ruby?
159
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,529
- She didn't make it, man.
- So, what, this other Ruby,
160
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,526
the evil '80s Ruby,
she's just chilling at the cabin?
161
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,365
Our Ruby was going to hold her off
for as long as she could, until...
162
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,966
Can we change the subject
to something less depressing?
163
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,407
Like, Pablo, maybe tell us
more about the time you died?
164
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:18,766
Oh, yeah.
165
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,445
It almost feels like
it happened to another me,
166
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,483
but this me still knows about it.
167
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,284
And in that moment,
right before I died,
168
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,603
all I could think about was
how I wanted to save the world,
169
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,364
and be a hero, like you.
170
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,131
Well, you'll never really be like me,
'cause I'm a legal citizen,
171
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,408
but you did help save the world.
172
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,050
Kelly:
I hate to be a buzzkill,
173
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,601
but we kind of need
to get back to the future.
174
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,524
Without Ruby's help.
175
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,770
Kelly, book me.
176
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,288
Pablo, you think because
that book was inside you,
177
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:48,885
some Sumerian rubbed off?
178
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,560
Like enough to read from
the time travel passage in there?
179
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,404
Don't you worry, Jefe.
180
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,562
- I got this.
- (laughs)
181
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,564
- I knew you could do it.
- Oh, yeah. I can do it, all right.
182
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,569
Just don't know if I want to.
(sniffs)
183
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,046
What?
184
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,409
I said, "I don't want to."
185
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,207
Hey, whoa, whoa!
186
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,249
- Whoa, whoa!
- (screaming)
187
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,204
Better!
188
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,522
(brakes squeal)
189
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,604
- Bill!
- You fuck!
190
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,929
Whoa!
191
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,603
- Whoa!
- (laughing)
192
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,125
(yells)
193
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,962
(thunder rumbling)
194
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,803
(snarling, growling)
195
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,645
(whispers) Ash?
196
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,484
Kelly.
197
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,728
Are we back in Jacksonville?
198
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,882
(Dark Ruby chanting
in foreign language)
199
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,404
(growling)
200
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,290
(distorted)
Mama.
201
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:12,845
Look who's awake.
202
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,166
(Spawn growling)
203
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,483
You mind telling me
what the Flying Dutchman is going on?
204
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,883
We're course correcting,
rebuilding the family you tore apart.
205
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,883
See, this era's Ruby
hasn't been exposed to you
206
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,486
like the recently departed Ruby was.
207
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,170
Hasn't betrayed me.
208
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:30,925
Well, that's good.
209
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,844
You found yourself a keeper.
210
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,004
- Now, where the hell is my Pablo?
- Oh, it's hard to say.
211
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,527
See, most cultures have
different names for the netherworld.
212
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,809
The Aztecs called it Mictlan.
The Greeks, the Tartarus.
213
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,166
You call it hell.
214
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,011
None of it's correct,
but your tiny little minds
215
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,043
cannot comprehend
the reality of the dimension
216
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,844
that your friend
now finds himself in.
217
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,844
- (shouting in Sumerian)
- You know, you almost had me.
218
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,327
You really blocked off
all my options.
219
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,323
Well, most of them, anyway.
220
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,363
And it's not ideal
being inside a dead body,
221
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,966
but it's not
an insurmountable challenge.
222
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,210
- (cat screeching)
- Especially when all I had to do
223
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,284
was convince the one man
foolish enough to swallow my chicanery
224
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,046
if he went back in time,
he could resurrect his dead little friend.
225
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,121
You flim-flamming S.O.B.
226
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,009
You played me like a cheap fiddle.
227
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,525
Oh, don't be so sore, Ash.
228
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,330
There's no way you could've known.
229
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,926
See, my transference
was one of those...
230
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,605
blink and you'll miss it moments.
231
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,206
(yelling in Sumerian, wailing)
232
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,449
Blah-di-blah-di-blah.
233
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,967
- Heard it all before, pal.
- That so?
234
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:37,642
Yeah, demon powers, immortality,
jumping into people's bodies.
235
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,768
Honestly,
I'm not impressed by that.
236
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,725
Now, you strip that away,
give us a fair fight,
237
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,208
- I'll bet I would kick your candy ass.
- Ignore him.
238
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,408
Come on, buddy.
What do you say?
239
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,040
A little mano a mano?
Test the mettle of man?
240
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,929
That's what this is all about, right?
241
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,764
I'm willing to throw in.
242
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,129
But... and this is
a big, hairy but...
243
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,089
you got to turn off
your demon powers.
244
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,605
This has to be a fair fight.
245
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,282
What do you hope
to achieve by this?
246
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,444
If I win, you, Ruby,
your worthless kids,
247
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,331
and all the other evil crap here
takes a freight train to the underworld,
248
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,130
and I get my buddy Pablo back.
249
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,760
Dark Ruby: And what do we get
when you lose?
250
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,126
I don't know, toots.
What do you want?
251
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:21,762
I want to rip the skies open
until they bleed.
252
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,123
And the flood
to flush away humanity,
253
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,285
and the Earth to burn
so that the flames touch the heavens.
254
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,771
Is that it?
255
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,968
And then I want my spawn
to eat her.
256
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,770
- (gasps)
' (snarling)
257
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:38,163
Ah, apocalypse,
and a side of Kelly for the kids.
258
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,448
Okay, I accept.
259
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,125
Wow, really, dude?
260
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,487
- The Necronomicon.
- What?
261
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,369
NQW!
262
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,363
Ash, do you really think
263
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,648
you can trust this piece of shit
to keep his word?
264
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,689
How the hell should I know?
I'm making this up.
265
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,281
Hey! Easy, man!
It's a brand-new hand!
266
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,649
You defeat me,
we accept exile from this realm...
267
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,007
and your friend
shall be returned.
268
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,322
Okay, you defeat me,
269
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,006
I guess all kinds of bad crap's
going to happen for a long time.
270
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,321
Got it.
271
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,324
- (thunder rumbling)
- (Necronomicon growling)
272
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,926
(chanting in Sumerian)
273
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,847
A promise sealed with blood.
274
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,081
There's no stronger bond.
275
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,368
Put your dancing shoes on.
276
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,045
Let's do this.
277
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,804
(chuckles)
Too quick for you, huh?
278
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,045
Oh! Come on, Bill.
The idea is to actually hit me.
279
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,964
- (grunts)
' (groaning)
280
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:04,966
(groaning)
281
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,047
(Baal yelling)
282
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,325
- Look at them.
- (Ash and Ball yelling)
283
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,289
Slaves to pride.
284
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:25,365
Willing to risk everything for vanity
while using us as bargaining chips.
285
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,249
- Baal: Come on!
- Me to be banished,
286
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,006
and you to be defiled
and devoured.
287
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,527
I never heard anything
about being defiled.
288
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,449
It was implied, trust me.
289
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,331
They've shown us
just how little they think we matter.
290
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,970
- (glass shatters in distance)
- (Ash and Baal continue grunting)
291
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,088
What are you doing?
292
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,926
I'm not going to risk everything
for a contest of egos.
293
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,491
I'm going to alter the deal.
294
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,847
- (gasps)
' (Snarls)
295
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,890
You feel that?
That's what mortals call "pain"!
296
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,886
Get on board, 'cause the pain train
is stopping in Bill Ville!
297
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:10,130
(laughing maniacally)
You fight like a girl!
298
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,203
(yells)
299
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,330
What are you doing with Ash?
300
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,121
'Cause you're stronger than him.
301
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,647
Why be a follower
when you could be a leader?
302
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:32,010
Kelly, you're stronger than Ash.
303
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:36,768
Why follow
when you should lead?
304
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,326
You join with me, and I'll give you powers
you couldn't possibly imagine.
305
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,404
- I'd rather die!
- (thunder rumbling)
306
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,085
- (grunts)
- (growling)
307
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,083
(yells)
308
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,368
Don't be foolish.
309
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,124
You can't win.
310
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,888
- No, no, no!
- (gasps) Chet!
311
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,087
_ Ash'-
_ Hey '
312
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,890
- Mm.
- Oh!
313
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,804
(yelling)
314
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,002
Oh! Oh!
315
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,686
You are stuck in there real good!
316
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,968
A real friend
would give you a hand.
317
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,683
Of course...
318
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:24,287
You did let Cheryl kill me,
so guess you're not a real friend.
319
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,851
- (knuckles crack)
- ♪ Dah, dah, dah, dah I
320
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,042
Ow, ow!
321
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,850
Chet! Stop that!
322
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,644
Oh!
323
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,243
Oh, well, I guess I'll have to take
your hand,buddy.
324
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,289
- (revving)
- What's that?
325
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,803
What do you think you're do...
Oh, no!
326
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,122
(vocalizing)
327
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,487
- Be still!
- No!
328
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,247
- (yells)
- (Chet laughing maniacally)
329
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,680
No!
330
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,963
Oh, gross, man!
331
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,246
Oh! Oh, my virgin hand!
332
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,687
It hasn't even held a beer!
333
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,926
Hey!
You get back here right now!
334
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,244
(high-pitched voice)
Take that!
335
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,731
Chet: Gross!
336
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,170
- (laughs)
- (breathing heavily)
337
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,406
We never finished our game, Ashy.
338
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,967
(groans)
339
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,645
- (Spawn snarling)
- (grunts)
340
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:35,249
Do you really want to die here
with Ash Williams, orjoin with me?
341
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,920
There's one thing
I learned from Ash--
342
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,004
shoot first,
ask questions never.
343
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,048
(yelling)
344
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:57,645
Oh...
345
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,241
(groaning)
346
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,650
You could've had it all.
347
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,406
(buzzing grows louder)
348
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,642
Hiding in the skins of people.
349
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,689
That's a punk move!
350
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,882
You said you wouldn't
use any powers!
351
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,883
(revving continues)
352
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,960
- (revving stops) _
- (footsteps approachmg)
353
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,970
- (shrieks)
- (screams)
354
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,810
- (electricity buzzing)
- Oh!
355
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,162
(cackling in distance)
356
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,242
Brock: Ashley?
357
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,090
Ashley?
358
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,687
Ashley, where are we?
359
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,604
You are not my father.
360
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,842
Oh, yes, son.
It-it's really me.
361
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,527
There's no time to explain,
but listen carefully.
362
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,682
It's vital that you know the truth.
363
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,446
I should've told you years ago,
but you weren't ready.
364
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,681
You are now.
365
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,524
You see, you and I...
366
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,047
(grunts)
You leave my dad out of this!
367
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,522
- (glass shatters)
- Ashley, you idiot!
368
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,848
- Stop it!
- Sorry, I don't come with brakes!
369
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,964
- Listen to me.
- Shut up.
370
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:38,727
Between--
(gurgling)
371
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,564
Tell it to somebody who cares!
372
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,884
- Ashley, you are...
- Save your breath, buddy!
373
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:47,724
You're going to need it!
374
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,484
- Game... over!
- (thunder rumbling)
375
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,769
Savior of humanity...
376
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,491
couldn't even save the ones
dearest to you.
377
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,411
Did you really think
I was going to honor the deal?
378
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,601
Brock's voice:
Take the chainsaw, son.
379
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,524
Humans are so gullible.
380
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,691
(yells)
381
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:47,443
Oh, nice move... for a cheater!
382
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,209
I'm sorry, Kelly.
383
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,249
I was wrong to bring us here.
384
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,844
I failed you.
385
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,048
I failed Pablo.
386
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,370
I failed the world.
387
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,007
We won a fuck ton more
than we lost, Ash.
388
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,083
(gasps)
389
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,447
That's not failure.
390
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,841
Baal: I disagree.
391
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,049
Prophesized one will die
by my hand.
392
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,290
Humanity will bow to evil
once more.
393
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,681
And by every definition...
394
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,011
that spells failure.
395
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:09,885
Wait!
396
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,445
Okay-
397
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,524
You did it. You won.
398
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,727
Now, I'm not afraid of dying.
399
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,601
But before I go,
I got to know one thing.
400
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:24,850
What is it?
401
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,006
What was she like in the sack?
402
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:36,969
- (Baal scoffs)
- (Ash yelling)
403
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,083
- (both gasping)
- (shrieking)
404
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,926
Wow!
You immortals are so gullible!
405
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,411
(grunts)
406
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,810
(spawn shrieking)
407
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,323
What have you done?!
408
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,925
Honored the deal!
409
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,924
(wailing)
410
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,208
(growling)
411
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,207
(Necronomicon chanting)
412
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,131
- Ash!
- That's our cue.
413
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,643
Ash!
414
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,329
No, no!
415
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,720
No!
416
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,083
(screaming)
417
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,006
(growling)
418
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,445
- (rustling)
" (gasps)
419
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,848
(gasps)
420
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,845
Pablo!
421
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:02,524
- What happened?
- Well, Pablo, you died.
422
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,882
But you died saving the world.
423
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,122
Wait... am I dead right now?
424
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,726
What? No, that's crazy!
425
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,201
We went back in time to the '80s
and we saved you.
426
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,641
Oh, okay. Cool.
427
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,723
- Thanks, Jefe.
- You're welcome, Bill.
428
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,041
(grunts)
Come on now!
429
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,726
- Let's do it!
- What the fuck is wrong with you?!
430
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,848
I save the world
and you punch me in the face?
431
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,609
I'm sorry, Pablo.
432
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,331
Just had to be sure.
It was one of those days.
433
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,608
Come on!
Now give it up!
434
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:34,926
Whoo!
435
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,287
- Give me an "A"!
- Cheerleaders: "A"!
436
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,807
- Give me an "S"!
- Cheerleaders: "S"!
437
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,247
- Give me an "H"!
- Cheerleaders: "H"!
438
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,165
- Cheerleader: What's that spell?
- All: Ash!
439
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,368
- (cheering)
- (band continues)
440
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,927
Cheerleaders:
Ash Williams!
441
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,082
(cheering)
442
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:02,964
Now, Elk Grove,
443
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:07,444
let's welcome our hero,
Ashley J. Williams!
444
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,602
(crowd cheering)
445
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,526
- Ash, everyone's waiting for you.
- Oh.
446
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:23,969
Thank you!
447
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,487
Thank you very much!
448
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,490
Thank you,
good people of Elk Grove.
449
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,650
(chuckles)
You know, uh...
450
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,802
30 years ago,
451
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,964
I was a pariah in this town.
452
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,805
- Man: Yeah, you were!
- I was kicked out.
453
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,724
Permanently,
454
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:47,169
for allegedly doing something
unspeakable to my friends and family.
455
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,483
So, as you can imagine,
when I came back here,
456
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,325
I was afraid you wouldn't listen
to the real truth.
457
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:57,565
Which is I'm just a total badass hero,
not a serial killer.
458
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,405
(laughs)
Yeah.
459
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,483
(clears throat)
460
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:07,487
Unfortunately,
all my worst fears came true.
461
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,684
You were still complete assholes,
462
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,490
you called me horrible names,
463
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,682
and you were basically
responsible for the deaths
464
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,730
of my best friend and my father.
465
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,201
- (murmuring)
- (baby crying)
466
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,448
Yep.
467
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:25,207
But I'm glad
that we're past that now.
468
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,442
Today is a new day,
and I want you to know...
469
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,283
- I love this town.
- (cheering)
470
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:37,850
So much so, I'm moving back here,
and this time it's for good!
471
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,611
- (cheering)
- Yeah! That's right!
472
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:46,045
Evil, if you show
your ugly mug in this town
473
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,407
ever again...
474
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,642
I will fuck you up,
475
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,566
I will take you down,
and I will wipe you out!
476
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,722
- (cheering)
- Yeah.
477
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,210
I love you, Elk Grove!
478
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:01,811
- (crowd chanting "Ash")
- I love you, Ash!
479
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,327
- Hey, I love me, too!
- (band playing)
480
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:05,891
Let's party!
481
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,288
- You okay?
- Yeah.
482
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,408
Wow, it's just that...
483
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,404
all of this... it's so perfect.
484
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,961
I mean,
I-l never expected any of this.
485
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,566
Well, you deserve this, Ash.
486
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,603
You've done your part.
487
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,330
Now you can live a normal life.
488
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:38,121
It's time you relax
and do whatever you want.
489
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,328
Whatever I want?
490
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,443
Ooh, I want some sugar!
491
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,930
Whoo!
492
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,722
(music playing)
493
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,762
(music slows down)
494
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,762
(wind blowing)
495
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,362
(fly buzzing)
496
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,963
Girl:
Hey, look what I found!
497
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:43,365
Created by: A. Vandelay
Post Haste Digital
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