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®Hon3yHD.com!®
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- (roaring)
- (screaming)
2
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I got a plan for Baal--
I'm going to find him,
3
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take my chainsaw,
shove it right up his ass.
4
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(screaming)
The book, it did something to me.
5
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It feels like something inside of me
that's trying to come out.
6
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Pablo, you're our only hope
of stopping Baal.
7
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:20,927
Kelly:
Hey, quit fucking around.
8
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Find the spell we need
to send this asshole home.
9
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- (chanting in Sumerian)
- (Baal roaring)
10
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,363
(shrieking)
11
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- (gasping)
-uaughs)
12
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,807
- You slayed that shit.
- Ash: You did it, Pablo!
13
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(gasps)
14
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- (music playing on radio)
- (tires screeching)
15
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- (cat meows)
- ♪ Oh, I just died in your arms... I
16
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(slurred) Oh, yeah.
Oh, I know what you're all saying.
17
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,009
Ash Williams saved everybody.
18
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Yep, probably going to
have a statue made
19
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and a parade in my honor.
20
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You know what?
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(choked up)
I'd give it all up
22
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just to have my little
Mexican buddy back.
23
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,162
Oh, my-my Honduran-Mexican
buddy back.
24
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Here's to you.
Oh, yeah.
25
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,843
(bottles clattering)
26
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(burps)
Nothing helps, does it?
27
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Of course, you don't answer.
28
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Whoops.
29
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'Cause you're dead!
30
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- (tires screeching)
- (man vocalizing)
31
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,520
I I just died in your arms tonight... I
32
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This is bullshit.
33
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- Pablo didn't have to die.
- (can opening)
34
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,411
- I should've saved him.
- You couldn't have.
35
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It was the only way.
36
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:10,568
- Everybody dies.
- Yeah, easy for you to say.
37
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,722
Pablo's entire lifespan
38
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,281
measured about a second
compared to yours.
39
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,602
Didn't he make that second count?
40
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,406
In defeating Baal, he achieved
more than I did in thousands of years.
41
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,166
- (tires screeching)
- (music continues)
42
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Oh, man, you can really taste
the angel dust.
43
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(exhaling)
44
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,526
Ah, but no matter how baked I get,
45
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,409
you're still gone, buddy.
46
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:41,007
Man, I wish I could just
go back in time and undo all this.
47
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,811
Pablo: So just do it.
48
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,768
. HEY-
. HEY-
49
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,651
"Do it"? Do what?
50
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,849
If you could go back in time
and change one moment in your life,
51
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,446
- what would it be?
- Oh, no-brainer.
52
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,365
The moment I picked up
the stupid book at the cabin.
53
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:00,646
So just change it.
54
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,962
Make sure you never,
ever pick up that book.
55
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,084
- Like ever.
- (laughs)
56
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,641
That's a good one.
57
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:12,729
- How?
- Do exactly what you said.
58
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,768
Go back in time
and undo all this.
59
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,530
Of course!
I've done it before.
60
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,284
- I went to the Middle Ages.
- (echoing) Yeah.
61
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,681
And I can go back in time,
change history,
62
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,922
fix all this,
and you'll be alive again, Pablo.
63
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,162
(tires screeching)
64
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:40,050
- (horn honking)
- Get in the car!
65
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:46,006
Okay, I need you
to read this right now.
66
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,964
Absolutely not.
67
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,730
- Too risky.
- Read it.
68
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,123
Ash, even if it works, we could damage
so much more than we can fix.
69
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,850
Hey, guys, can you stop
speaking in code
70
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,485
and tell me what the fuck
you're talking about?
71
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,961
I'll do you one better.
I'll show you.
72
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,010
Ash, you're upset.
73
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,162
You should not
be behind the wheel of a car.
74
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,051
Yes, I'm upset.
Yes, I'm behind the wheel.
75
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,326
Yes, I'm drunk.
76
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,729
And maybe my license
isn't the fancy kind from the DMV,
77
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,041
but at least I'm drunk!
78
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,089
Now, you better read
that spell right now,
79
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,850
or we're all going to meet Pablo!
80
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,082
(tires screeching)
81
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,129
Ash, stop the fucking car.
82
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,683
Just do what he says!
He's thinking even less than usual!
83
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,446
(Ruby chanting in Sumerian)
84
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,604
She's doing it!
Stop the fucking car!
85
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,167
- She's reading it!
- Not until she's done!
86
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,327
Linda, I'm going to
fix everything,
87
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,801
and come back for you!
88
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,561
Hey, if Linda didn't hear that,
could someone please tell her?!
89
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,051
(Ruby chanting continues)
90
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,568
(both yelling)
91
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,048
(music playing)
92
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,165
(Ruby chanting in Sumerian)
93
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,971
(tires screech)
94
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,090
- (all panting)
- (Ash chuckles)
95
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,923
(music playing)
96
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,882
- (indistinct chatter)
- Car wash!
97
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,922
What the actual fuck?
98
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,731
- Welcome to the '80s, kid.
- We're in the '80s?
99
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,008
- (indistinct chatter)
- Kelly: As in the 1980s?
100
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,725
1982. Come on, Kelly.
Keep up.
101
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,609
But... how?
102
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,969
There are infinite timelines,
and always a primary present you,
103
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,764
which remains constant,
but the Necronomicon...
104
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,445
- Boring.
- I'd like the explanation.
105
00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,126
Okay, look, if young me
never reads from that book,
106
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:03,124
then evil will not plague my life,
and Pablo will be alive again.
107
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,850
That's all you have to understand.
108
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,126
- He's right.
- 'Course I am.
109
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:07,964
Wait a minute.
My dad's around here.
110
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,487
- I got to see the old bird.
- Don't you dare.
111
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,843
That kind of interaction could cause
profound causality paradoxes.
112
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,004
Think about it.
I know the sports scores for 30 years.
113
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,525
- No.
- Jeez.
114
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,445
Okay, so, now that
we've time travelled,
115
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,921
we just go back to the cabin
116
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,128
to snatch the book before
young Ash can read from it.
117
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,004
And that's all we do.
Got it?
118
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,482
I'm just saying this is the year the Lions
got in the playoffs with a losing record.
119
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,246
- We can make some serious scratch.
- Both: No.
120
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,880
- Ash: Wow.
- Wh-where-- where...
121
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,241
- Oh.
- How-how...
122
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,528
(chuckling) Don't worry about it, pal.
Here you go.
123
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,489
That'll help you forget
that you just saw a car
124
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,324
drive through a time portal
from the future.
125
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,528
No, no, I can't drink.
My family has a history...
126
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,604
Come on. One little nip.
Your life will be exactly the same.
127
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,484
Come on.
Let's change history.
128
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,207
(yells)
129
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,364
♪ Don't stop believin'... I
130
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,040
Come on. Come on.
Out of the way, safety boy!
131
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,929
- (horn honks)
- Whoa!
132
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,730
- Hey!
- ♪ Streetlights ♪
133
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,645
- (laughing)
- ♪ People ♪
134
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,246
♪ Don't stop believin' I
135
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,529
I Hold on ♪
136
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,050
♪ Streetlights ♪
137
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:30,242
♪ People ♪
138
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:31,845
I Don't stop ♪
139
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,444
(groans)
140
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,604
Now, don't you worry,
my little burrito.
141
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,728
You'll be safe in this trunk
while we change history
142
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,086
and bring you back to life.
143
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,049
Kelly, got the letter I wrote?
144
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,565
"Don't panic. It's 1982.
We're in the cabin.
145
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,722
If your..."
No apostrophe.
146
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,406
"...reading this,
you're not dead.
147
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,086
P.S., you were dead."
148
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,321
Perfect.
149
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,642
- All right.
- Dude, how are you smiling?
150
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,246
- Pablo's dead.
- Because this is temporary.
151
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,607
Because I came up with
a sweet plan to get him back?
152
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,081
As sweet as your plan
that got him killed in the first place?
153
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,571
- Hey, that plan worked.
- (gun cocks)
154
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,285
We defeated Baal.
155
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,761
- And this plan's going to...
- (rumbling)
156
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,568
(growling)
157
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,762
No.
158
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,644
No.
159
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,768
I haven't been to the cabin yet.
160
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,604
- (rustling)
- I haven't read from the book.
161
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,570
- This can't be happening.
- Apparently it can.
162
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,961
(rustling grows louder)
163
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Run!
164
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,603
(growling)
165
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,645
(grunting)
166
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,805
(growling)
167
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,482
(creaking)
168
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,649
(shuddering)
169
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,762
(laughs)
Still got it.
170
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,082
(yells)
171
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,487
Oh, hell.
172
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,642
(groaning)
173
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,571
My evil mistress in the woods.
174
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,170
This is going to be our last tango.
175
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,049
And this time,
176
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,965
you're going to follow
my lead, biotch.
177
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,330
Okay, book, book, book.
Who's got the...
178
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,647
Wait a minute.
179
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,211
I thought it was here.
180
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,966
(faint growling)
181
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,286
Or did I find it in the cellar...
with Scott?
182
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,044
(gasps)
183
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,130
Oh! Oh, you.
184
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,647
(exhales sharply)
Okay, Ash.
185
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,723
It's just a stupid nail.
186
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,689
Stay focused.
187
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,368
I'm checking you last.
188
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,203
Kelly: Ash!
189
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:04,006
I swear, he's like a superhero whose
special power is "ruining everything."
190
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,810
As much as it pains me to say it,
191
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,645
he's proven himself
to be inexplicably effective.
192
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,964
I'm guessing that English is your second
or third language next to Sumerian
193
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,929
or she-devil or whatever...
194
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,889
but that's not effectiveness.
195
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,884
It's called dumb luck.
196
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,290
(groaning)
197
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,882
Oh. Oh!
198
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,043
(faint growling)
199
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,644
(groans)
There's got to be a better way.
200
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,565
Yeah.
201
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,802
Kind of like an evil snake bite.
202
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,369
(yells, grunting)
203
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,529
Too salty.
204
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,849
(stomach growling)
205
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,764
(gagging)
206
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,081
(high-pitched yelling)
207
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,923
(gasping)
208
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,525
(retching)
209
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,171
(chuckles)
210
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,727
(high-pitched laughter)
211
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,360
Get out!
212
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,090
Ooh!
213
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,009
(yelling, grunting)
214
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,490
- (high-pitched laughter)
- (groans)
215
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,205
Time to spice up your life, huh?!
216
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,686
- (high-pitched grunting)
- (sneezing)
217
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,089
You like it hot?!
You like it hot?!
218
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,322
- (high-pitched groaning)
- (kettle whistling)
219
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,648
- (shrieking)
- (high-pitched shrieking)
220
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,361
Cw!
Soup's on!
221
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,604
- (screaming)
- (high-pitched screaming)
222
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,569
(stomach growling)
223
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,244
(demon screaming)
224
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,161
Whoa!
225
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,731
Fuck you, Ash! Fuck you!
226
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,129
Fuck you, motherfucker!
(laughing maniacally)
227
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,123
Hey, little guy.
228
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,930
How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled?!
229
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,081
(yells)
230
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,162
- Yeah.
- (pan clatters)
231
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,527
All right, who's next?!
232
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,409
Who's next?!
233
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,250
Woman: Hello?
234
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,084
Is somebody out there?
235
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:04,771
Please!
236
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,763
Help me!
237
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,085
Please!
238
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,884
I'm trapped!
239
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,005
(creaks)
240
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,365
Kelly: Incredible.
241
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,971
We didn't even make it to the cabin
242
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,044
before Ash's brilliant plan
freaked the toaster.
243
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,124
You know once we destroy the book,
you don't have to follow him anymore.
244
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,123
You can forge your own path.
245
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:46,970
Who says I'm not already forging?
246
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,168
I make my own choices, okay?
247
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,569
I could forge the shit
out of my path, if I wanted to.
248
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,165
- I don't doubt it.
- (twig snaps)
249
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,847
Whoever's following us,
come out now,
250
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,611
or I start spraying!
251
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,084
Let's keep going, huh?
252
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,922
(creaking)
253
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,646
- (door creaks)
- (Ash gasps)
254
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,842
(rattling)
255
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,207
(metallic clanging)
256
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,124
- (metal clinking)
- (woman sobbing)
257
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,567
Who's there?
258
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,566
- Woman: Please. Help.
- Who is that?
259
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,290
Woman: He's chained me up
and he won't let me go.
260
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,568
Who chained you up?
261
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,883
- I said who chained you up?
- My husband.
262
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,651
He's going to kill me.
263
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,800
Oh, Jesus! Henrietta.
264
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,091
- How do I know you?
- We've met before.
265
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,242
Uh, actually, not yet.
Not for you, anyway.
266
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,845
Please let me go.
267
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,447
My husband,
he's found some Book of the Dead.
268
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,405
And I don't know,
it's changed him somehow.
269
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,329
- Where's the book now?
- I have no idea.
270
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,922
I'm chained to the damn wall!
I can help you find it.
271
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,526
Please, let me go,
before he kills us both.
272
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,762
There's a key there on the table.
273
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,485
Please!
274
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,691
How dare you.
275
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,683
Hiding inside a little old lady.
276
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,286
- (groans)
- You must take me for a grade-A chump!
277
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,805
What are you doing?
278
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,287
- (screams)
- Listen up, cupcake, I'm from the future.
279
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,330
So all of your Deadite mumbo jumbo
isn't new to me.
280
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:15,041
You can pop now, you can pop later,
I don't give a rat's ass.
281
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,565
All I care about is that book,
282
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,762
and you're going to tell me
where it is right now!
283
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,890
Ow! Stop!
You're worse than my husband!
284
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,121
- (shrieks)
- (laughs)
285
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,521
I can do this all day, sugar lips.
286
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,923
(car approaching)
287
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,921
- It's him.
- (car doors close)
288
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,129
(door opens)
289
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,483
Man:
Welcome to my cabin in the woods.
290
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,051
- It is.
- (door closes)
291
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,486
Woman: It's really nice.
292
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,007
Looks like he's got a hot
little number on the side, too.
293
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:53,006
Good for him.
I mean, uh, men are such pigs.
294
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,642
He's going to torture her,
just like he tortured me.
295
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,322
Professor Knowby, I can't thank you
enough for the extra credit.
296
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,450
(chuckles) You're a good student.
You deserve it.
297
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:08,526
Now, your roommates aren't
going to be worried about you
298
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,170
being away for the weekend?
299
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,402
Oh, well, I live alone.
300
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,326
I had a cat, but it just ran away
for absolutely no reason.
301
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,801
So, it's really just me.
302
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,769
More time to focus on your work.
303
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,125
(gasps)
304
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,645
It's just the wind.
305
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,044
Now, before we start
these translations,
306
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,249
there's just something
I need you to help me with.
307
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,042
Please, there's no time.
The key!
308
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,646
No. Not until I know
where that book is. Now spill.
309
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,370
- Unlock me first.
- Not a chance.
310
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,649
He always keeps it with him,
so the book is here now.
311
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,531
Just let me go
and I'll show you!
312
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,921
Please!
I'm not whatever you think I am!
313
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,082
(cellar door opens)
314
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,608
Please, don't let him
hurt me again.
315
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,569
Professor Knowby:
Down here.
316
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,848
Woman: Down there?
317
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,290
Gosh, it's cold.
318
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,887
You'll forgive the darkness
and the dirt.
319
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,490
And the cobwebs.
(chuckles)
320
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,211
Maybe we should
head back upstairs?
321
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:19,006
Where there's more... light?
322
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,004
Tanya, I'm sorry.
323
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,208
I fear I may have deceived you.
324
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,808
You're not really here
to help me translate.
325
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,731
What do you mean, Professor?
Wh... why am I here?
326
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,201
For something
much more important.
327
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,925
What the fu...
328
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,360
- Fuck!
- (gasps)
329
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,330
- (Screaming)
" (gasps)
330
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,528
Fuck!
331
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,762
Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry.
332
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,166
- (wailing)
- Does it hurt?
333
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,606
Can I offer you some Ibuprofen?
334
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,643
What?! Yes, it fucking hurts!
335
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,205
- (shrieking)
- (metal creaking)
336
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,203
Truly, I can't apologize enough.
337
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,328
But this really is my only option.
338
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:07,811
- (crunching)
- (screaming)
339
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,440
Jesus... you were right.
340
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,291
- Guy's a dick.
- And he's going to kill her, too.
341
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,448
We need to stop him.
342
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,360
Tanya:
Why are you doing this?!
343
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,965
I have no choice.
344
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,329
On my last expedition,
I found the Necronomicon.
345
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,960
I became obsessed with its power.
346
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,561
- (wailing)
- It called to me...
347
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,210
overtook me.
348
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:34,011
Please... he's a monster.
349
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,482
So, I read from the book,
and summoned the Kandarian demon.
350
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,447
It was magnificent.
351
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,005
Unlike anything I've ever seen.
352
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,650
(whispers)
Okay, I got this. Go hide.
353
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:47,801
(whispers) Okay.
354
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,123
Until it possessed my wife, Henrietta.
355
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,930
That's why she's
chained up down here.
356
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,323
You got to be kidding me.
357
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,727
Nothing else worked.
358
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,680
Maybe I can find a way to get
the demon out of her and into you.
359
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,047
' (Tanya whimpering)
" (gasps)
360
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,049
That lying old witch.
361
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,527
- (Deadite Henrietta cackling)
- (Ash yelling)
362
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:12,771
- (gasps)
- Oh, no.
363
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,970
You brought us home a third.
How naughty of you!
364
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,607
- (gasps)
- What?
365
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,531
The book,
it's just been opened.
366
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,041
(leaves rustling, creaking)
367
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,484
(both grunting, yelling)
368
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,565
I'm going to stomp you
a new mud hole to suck out your soul!
369
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,324
I should've slapped you harder!
370
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,564
(yells)
371
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:05,561
Ruby, help!
372
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:06,886
(choking)
373
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:11,846
Ruby!
374
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,284
Kelly!
375
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,242
' (Pants)
- (yells)
376
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,680
- (screaming)
- (Deadite Henrietta cackling)
377
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,650
That chin of yours
is an easy target!
378
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,962
Yeah?
Now it's my turn, jelly belly.
379
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:27,121
(cackling continues)
380
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,123
Help me!
Please! Please!
381
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,328
Can you get me out of here?!
(panting)
382
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,370
(screaming)
383
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,963
Help! Let go!
384
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,247
Stab it in its eye!
385
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,970
The good news is
now I can add "Demonic Tree"
386
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,640
to the list of things that have tried
to murder me since I met Ash.
387
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,643
Could have been worse.
Let's go find him.
388
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,882
- (shrieking)
- Okay! Hey, hey!
389
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,486
Listen to me!
Shouting is not going to loosen the trap.
390
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,086
- You got to stop!
- (panting)
391
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,844
Okay, thank you.
392
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,002
Now, looks like
you're stuck in there pretty good.
393
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,846
Good news is if we have to amputate
to get you out, I'm your guy.
394
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,641
(chuckles) It may not seem like it,
but this is your lucky day.
395
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,929
My name is Ash Williams.
I'm a hero from the future.
396
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,287
I'm here to save the world
from evil... again.
397
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,522
(cackling in distance)
398
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,201
- (ripping)
- (grunting)
399
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:59,886
I'm Tanya.
I'm a student from Wisconsin.
400
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,844
I was here to help the professor
with his book.
401
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,724
- Stupid Necronomicon!
- (screaming)
402
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,082
- Jeez, I'm sorry.
- (yells)
403
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,050
That thing has been a festering boil
on my ass for most of my adult life.
404
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,202
- (yelling continues)
- But it ends today.
405
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,362
- Believe that.
- (screaming)
406
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,522
(evil cackling)
407
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,884
- (stammering)
- (groaning)
408
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,280
Yep, working on it.
409
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,404
Give me a break, I got one hand!
Jesus!
410
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,050
(stomping)
411
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,846
(yelling)
412
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,927
- Ash, stop!
- I can't!
413
00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:41,804
(mocking)
I can't!
414
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,044
Let go!
415
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,089
I'm stuck!
416
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,605
(mocking)
I'm stuck!
417
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,008
Tanya, stop the Professor!
418
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,003
Don't let him take that book!
419
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,561
Bye-bye, dear.
420
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,927
- (buzzing)
- Let's have some fun!
421
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,525
Why wait?
422
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,686
"Ah!
' Huh?!
423
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,490
(both yell)
424
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,369
You call that fun?
425
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,124
(whimpering)
426
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:25,530
Professor!
Professor, please!
427
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,682
- I'm sorry, Tanya.
- Please!
428
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,320
I'm not normally like this,
I swear!
429
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,006
Oh, you're a fucking asshole!
430
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,889
(Tanya screaming)
431
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,930
- (engine sputtering)
- (Deadite Henrietta cackling)
432
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,646
He's locked the door!
433
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,485
Knowby, you open
this goddamn door!
434
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,881
- Get back here!
- (evil cackling)
435
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,968
Boo! I see you!
436
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,363
You're both dirty birds.
437
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,003
And I'm going to hurt you
438
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:09,722
real, real bad.
439
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,883
I Let's get physical, physical ♪
440
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,169
I I wanna get physical I
441
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,368
♪ Let's get into physical I
442
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,602
I Let me hear your body talk I
443
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,685
♪ Your body talk,
let me hear your body talk ♪
444
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,162
I Let's get physical, physical ♪
445
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,688
I I wanna get physical I
446
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,763
♪ Let's get into physical I
447
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,366
I Let me hear your body talk I
448
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,844
♪ Your body talk,
let me hear your body talk ♪
449
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,525
Created by: A. Vandelay
Post Haste Digital
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