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1
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Hayley. Hayley, wake up.
2
00:00:05,314 --> 00:00:06,981
It's a horrible family emergency!
3
00:00:06,983 --> 00:00:08,048
What?! God what?!
4
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,584
The emergency is your
life isn't going anywhere,
5
00:00:10,586 --> 00:00:12,319
so we're going to get you some drive.
6
00:00:12,321 --> 00:00:14,188
We're going for a drive?
7
00:00:14,190 --> 00:00:15,322
In a car?
8
00:00:15,324 --> 00:00:17,324
No, we're going for a walk.
9
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In our bodies.
10
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,062
As you know, every day I leap out of bed
11
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,530
and fly into my slippers.
12
00:00:23,532 --> 00:00:25,265
Of course, your "leap of faith."
13
00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:26,600
It shakes the whole house.
14
00:00:26,602 --> 00:00:29,804
But what you don't know is
every morning before my leap,
15
00:00:29,806 --> 00:00:32,739
I take a brisk walk
around Langley's historic
16
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,009
Gaslamp district to get the blood up
17
00:00:35,011 --> 00:00:36,543
and the laziness down.
18
00:00:36,545 --> 00:00:38,745
You go on this walk and
then get back in bed?
19
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,681
This healthy routine gives me the drive
20
00:00:40,683 --> 00:00:42,616
I need to have a successful career.
21
00:00:42,618 --> 00:00:44,151
I want that for you, too.
22
00:00:44,153 --> 00:00:47,021
But I already have a
successful career at Subhub.
23
00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,556
They even trust me enough
to let me have a key.
24
00:00:49,558 --> 00:00:50,957
A key to where?
25
00:00:50,959 --> 00:00:52,426
The bathroom.
26
00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:53,828
Just as I feared.
27
00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:55,762
The room so awful it's where we hide
28
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,364
our disgusting toilets.
29
00:00:57,366 --> 00:00:59,099
Hayley, Subhub is not a career.
30
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,902
It's a dead-end.
But I'm showing you a way out,
31
00:01:01,904 --> 00:01:04,170
complete with breakfast
at a little place
32
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I like to call...
33
00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:08,242
Johnny Fifties!
34
00:01:08,244 --> 00:01:09,844
I remember this place!
35
00:01:09,846 --> 00:01:11,512
We used to come here all the time.
36
00:01:11,514 --> 00:01:12,646
Johnny, my man!
37
00:01:12,648 --> 00:01:13,980
Gimme a piece of toast,
38
00:01:13,982 --> 00:01:15,716
and mash up these peas for me.
39
00:01:15,718 --> 00:01:18,785
But only if you promise not
to charge me for the peas.
40
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They're my property, Johnny.
41
00:01:20,188 --> 00:01:23,790
I won't pay for what's
already mine, Johnny.
42
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,793
Again, Stan, my name is Sal.
43
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,595
The restaurant is Johnny Fif...
44
00:01:28,597 --> 00:01:29,730
Ooh, I'll have a shortstack of pan...
45
00:01:29,732 --> 00:01:31,198
No, the food is terrible.
46
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,468
You just come to soak up
that authentic 1990s-style
47
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'50s atmosphere.
48
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,872
Stan, I've got some bad news.
49
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We're closing.
50
00:01:39,007 --> 00:01:40,741
Closing?! How could this be?!
51
00:01:40,743 --> 00:01:44,545
Well, people just don't care
about 1950s nostalgia anymore.
52
00:01:44,547 --> 00:01:47,614
Or maybe we'd have survived if,
I dunno, every day
53
00:01:47,616 --> 00:01:49,616
you bought something more
expensive than toast.
54
00:01:49,618 --> 00:01:51,418
Johnny, 86 the toast.
55
00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:52,619
You can't expect people to eat
56
00:01:52,621 --> 00:01:54,889
after getting terrible news like that!
57
00:01:54,891 --> 00:01:56,690
♪♪
58
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STAN: No! No! Stop the music!
59
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Not today, big brass band!
60
00:02:00,629 --> 00:02:01,962
Shut up! Shut up!
61
00:02:01,964 --> 00:02:03,764
You okay up there, Mr. Smith?
62
00:02:03,766 --> 00:02:05,966
Johnny Fifties is going under.
63
00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:08,635
It's bad news, or to put it in terms
64
00:02:08,637 --> 00:02:10,771
you'll understand, bad music.
65
00:02:10,773 --> 00:02:12,506
Well, if you love the place so much,
66
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,174
maybe you could give them a loan?
67
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,443
I just don't know where
I'd find the money.
68
00:02:16,445 --> 00:02:18,845
Anyway, you and the boys take
the rest of the week off,
69
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,648
fully paid of course.
70
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:23,450
Well it's official, gang.
71
00:02:23,452 --> 00:02:25,652
I have hep C.
72
00:02:25,654 --> 00:02:27,922
I think it's time for some
major lifestyle changes...
73
00:02:27,924 --> 00:02:29,656
Red alert! Family emergency!
74
00:02:29,658 --> 00:02:31,057
What?! God what?!
75
00:02:31,059 --> 00:02:33,660
I'm too upset to say
what the emergency is.
76
00:02:33,662 --> 00:02:36,063
I must carve it.
77
00:02:38,935 --> 00:02:40,867
J...
78
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,536
O...
79
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:44,871
Oh, it's about Johnny Fifties closing.
80
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,607
I heard him tell the bandleader.
81
00:02:46,609 --> 00:02:49,276
Oh, yeah, Johnny Fifties!
82
00:02:49,278 --> 00:02:51,278
Their food sucks.
83
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,679
And no shock top.
84
00:02:52,681 --> 00:02:54,481
Okay, my fingers hurt.
85
00:02:54,483 --> 00:02:55,950
It's Johnny Fifties.
86
00:02:55,952 --> 00:02:58,152
I cannot let this restaurant close.
87
00:02:58,154 --> 00:02:59,553
- Why?
- Well, for one thing,
88
00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:01,288
it's part of my morning routine.
89
00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:02,823
But also, let's be honest.
90
00:03:02,825 --> 00:03:04,558
I'm a '50s kind of guy.
91
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,426
Exhibit A... my suit.
92
00:03:06,428 --> 00:03:09,764
Oh, yeah, your suit is sort of '50s.
93
00:03:09,766 --> 00:03:12,166
For a '50s guy like me,
letting Johnny Fifties
94
00:03:12,168 --> 00:03:14,835
close would be like admitting the
'50s were over.
95
00:03:14,837 --> 00:03:17,237
TOGETHER: But the '50s are over!
96
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:20,107
Don't you get it?!
If you're truly nostalgic,
97
00:03:20,109 --> 00:03:21,508
nothing is ever over!
98
00:03:21,510 --> 00:03:23,377
As someone who was alive back then
99
00:03:23,379 --> 00:03:26,313
with a Wolfman Jack-type
radio DJ persona
100
00:03:26,315 --> 00:03:29,650
and a number-one doo wop hit,
I think Stan's onto something.
101
00:03:29,652 --> 00:03:31,518
Look around this house, guys.
102
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,787
Not a lot of love for the '50s.
103
00:03:32,789 --> 00:03:34,655
He's right. No jell-o molds.
104
00:03:34,657 --> 00:03:36,056
No hula hoops!
105
00:03:36,058 --> 00:03:39,860
Plus, you're not watching TV
while you eat!
106
00:03:39,862 --> 00:03:42,863
And even if you were,
"Happy Days" is never on!
107
00:03:42,865 --> 00:03:44,665
Uhp, there it is, but it's a bad one,
108
00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:46,000
doesn't count... too much Potsie.
109
00:03:46,002 --> 00:03:47,601
That's it! If I'm going to
110
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:48,669
save the restaurant...
111
00:03:48,671 --> 00:03:50,070
You have to improve the food?
112
00:03:50,072 --> 00:03:53,140
I need to get people
to love the '50s again!
113
00:03:53,142 --> 00:03:55,075
There's no time to lose!
114
00:03:55,077 --> 00:03:58,679
Did you know glory holes were much,
much larger in the '50s?
115
00:03:58,681 --> 00:04:00,614
One time me and both Everly Brothers
116
00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,149
stuck our junk in one together
117
00:04:02,151 --> 00:04:03,350
all at the same time.
118
00:04:03,352 --> 00:04:04,819
And you know who was on the other side?
119
00:04:04,821 --> 00:04:06,220
The Big Bopper.
120
00:04:06,222 --> 00:04:08,288
At least that's what it felt like,
I never saw him.
121
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,556
- Aah! Aah!
- Aah! Aah!
122
00:04:09,558 --> 00:04:12,193
What? Never seen
a successful person before?
123
00:04:13,229 --> 00:04:14,829
Is this supposed to be like dad's
124
00:04:14,831 --> 00:04:16,563
"leap of faith" out of bed?
125
00:04:16,565 --> 00:04:18,899
It's a natural expression of drive.
126
00:04:18,901 --> 00:04:20,901
The regional manager's
coming to Subhub today
127
00:04:20,903 --> 00:04:23,303
and I am gonna show him, and dad,
128
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:25,606
that I've got what it
takes to get ahead.
129
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,710
Mr. S throws our food on the ground
130
00:04:29,712 --> 00:04:31,846
and she jumps all over the table?
131
00:04:31,848 --> 00:04:34,180
Someone's gotta say it.
132
00:04:34,182 --> 00:04:37,685
They made a mockery of breakfast.
133
00:04:40,122 --> 00:04:42,322
As your regional manager, I'm here
134
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,191
because by now, most of you
have seen the leaked documents
135
00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:47,794
referring to your positions
as "dead-end jobs."
136
00:04:47,796 --> 00:04:49,263
Uh, what documents?
137
00:04:49,265 --> 00:04:50,397
It doesn't matter.
138
00:04:50,399 --> 00:04:54,068
The point here is your
jobs are not dead-ends.
139
00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:55,402
Yes, dead-ender in the back.
140
00:04:55,404 --> 00:04:56,670
So are we allowed to drink
141
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,272
the oranginas or what?
142
00:04:58,274 --> 00:04:59,606
Give me a promotion!
143
00:04:59,608 --> 00:05:01,007
I've got the keys to success!
144
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,744
Or should I say the bathroom?
145
00:05:03,746 --> 00:05:07,013
Pee pee? Poo pee? What's your pleasure?
146
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,815
Tell me what you need,
what Subhub needs,
147
00:05:08,817 --> 00:05:10,217
and I am on it.
148
00:05:10,219 --> 00:05:12,819
Well, we would like
to open a new location
149
00:05:12,821 --> 00:05:14,889
in the hugely-desirable-
nearly-impossible-to-find-
150
00:05:14,891 --> 00:05:17,091
an-open-space-in Gaslamp district.
151
00:05:17,093 --> 00:05:20,895
[GASPS] I know just the place.
152
00:05:20,897 --> 00:05:25,099
Johnny Fifties is closing and
Subhub can take its place!
153
00:05:25,101 --> 00:05:26,366
Great idea!
154
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,634
You're promoted!
155
00:05:27,636 --> 00:05:29,169
The rest of you... demoted!
156
00:05:29,171 --> 00:05:32,372
You live here now and
get paid in pepperoni.
157
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,707
According to math,
158
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:36,243
Johnny Fifties can stay
afloat for eight weeks.
159
00:05:36,245 --> 00:05:37,844
And we're gonna need every minute of it
160
00:05:37,846 --> 00:05:39,846
to get people to love the '50s again.
161
00:05:39,848 --> 00:05:41,381
'Cause you really have to love the '50s
162
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,651
to stomach your signature
nauseating burgers.
163
00:05:44,653 --> 00:05:45,920
I mean you no disrespect, Johnny.
164
00:05:45,922 --> 00:05:47,187
My name is Sal.
165
00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:49,990
I call it "Operation '50s heat up:
166
00:05:49,992 --> 00:05:53,727
Get 'em interested in the
'50s and save Johnny Fifties!"
167
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:56,931
What if we call it
"Operation '50s fever"?
168
00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:59,866
Horrible idea.
Klaus, you're going to Milwaukee
169
00:05:59,868 --> 00:06:02,202
to get the statue of Arthur Fonzarelli,
170
00:06:02,204 --> 00:06:03,938
aka the Bronze Fonz.
171
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:05,806
I need it! Go now!
172
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,342
[DOOR CLOSES]
173
00:06:08,344 --> 00:06:10,144
I don't really need the Fonz statue.
174
00:06:10,146 --> 00:06:11,678
We just can't have Klaus around
175
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,347
sloshing his bowl water all over
176
00:06:13,349 --> 00:06:14,615
everyone's classic cars.
177
00:06:14,617 --> 00:06:16,951
Everyone will have classic cars?
178
00:06:16,953 --> 00:06:18,753
And more! Here's some concept art
179
00:06:18,755 --> 00:06:20,687
I had made to inspire us.
180
00:06:20,689 --> 00:06:24,358
Cruisin' cars, lawn darts,
asbestos chunks,
181
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,828
Johnny Fifties bursting with
hungry Fonzie impersonators.
182
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:31,231
Stan, you seem to be leaning
pretty heavily on Fonzie.
183
00:06:31,232 --> 00:06:34,392
Um, people also like,
I don't know, Elvis?
184
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,995
Oh, you mean singing Fonzie. Good idea!
185
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,131
I always wanted to be
like Marilyn Monroe
186
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:41,600
and have an air vent blow my dress up!
187
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,735
You'll do it! And Roger, you do your old
188
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,537
Wolfman Jack DJ persona.
189
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,006
That persona was unforgettable.
190
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,008
What was his name again? Wolfman Puck?
191
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,276
No, that's not it. Don't worry,
192
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,677
it'll come to me on the air.
193
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,012
Jeff, you're a beatnik,
194
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,949
and Steve,
you can be a nerd or "square."
195
00:06:56,951 --> 00:06:59,351
Easy. True to the time period,
196
00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:02,621
I'll put tape on my glasses
to make them appear broken...
197
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:03,756
No need!
198
00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:06,491
Just like James Dean, I pulled my punch
199
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,892
so I only hurt the glasses.
200
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,027
No you didn't!
201
00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:11,163
Hayley, you can be Spudnik.
202
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,498
He was a very famous potato.
203
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,969
Dad, you won't believe this.
Your walk gave me drive.
204
00:07:16,971 --> 00:07:20,839
And that drive got me a job
as manager of a new Subhub
205
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,707
opening where Johnny Fifties used to be!
206
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,778
But Johnny Fifties is where
Johnny Fifties used to be.
207
00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:27,512
Not for long. After I told them
208
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:30,715
it was closing,
Subhub sweet-talked the landlord
209
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,185
into taking over the lease in two days!
210
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:35,988
But two days isn't nearly
enough time for my plan!
211
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:37,456
Aren't you happy for me?
212
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,257
Happy? You betrayed me.
213
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,660
You're trying to destroy a place I love.
214
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,261
So, you don't like it
when I don't have drive,
215
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,597
and you don't like when I do have drive.
216
00:07:46,094 --> 00:07:48,933
What even is this? Operation '50s fever?
217
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,803
My original idea Klaus was never here.
218
00:07:50,805 --> 00:07:52,805
Blueprints for a leather jacket?
219
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,808
A list of places for beaver to leave it?
220
00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:58,943
This plan is so stupid.
221
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:01,213
Thank God I commissioned concept art
222
00:08:01,215 --> 00:08:03,415
for every possible betrayal.
223
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:06,951
This is exactly how I feel,
right down to my giant ass!
224
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,487
I can't let her do this to me.
225
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:09,688
New plan!
226
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,956
Oh, good, that one was kinda stupid...
227
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,826
The old plan, faster!
228
00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:17,362
We'll do Operation
'50s fever in 48 hours!
229
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:20,032
Why have I pinned my hopes on this fool?
230
00:08:20,034 --> 00:08:22,901
Would a fool get concept art of himself
231
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,170
dressed as a court jester
pleading with the king
232
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,439
not to cut his head off
for not having enough bells
233
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:28,640
on his jester hat?
234
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:31,510
I'm a goner! Welp, lesson learned.
235
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,212
Shoulda had more bells.
236
00:08:33,855 --> 00:08:35,956
Y Stan needs Langley to catch
237
00:08:35,958 --> 00:08:37,958
a baaad case of '50s fever
238
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,493
or else Hayley will be proven right
239
00:08:39,495 --> 00:08:42,029
that Stan's plan to save Johnny Fifties
240
00:08:42,031 --> 00:08:44,564
is a stupid, stuuuupid plan.
241
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,900
You heard it from me, uh...
242
00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,101
What's my name again?
243
00:08:48,103 --> 00:08:49,769
The '50s was so long ago.
244
00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:52,106
Wolfboy... George?
245
00:08:52,108 --> 00:08:55,076
Did I mention Hayley thinks
Stan's plan is stupid?
246
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,647
Gah! I feel betrayed
by Hayley all over again!
247
00:08:59,649 --> 00:09:01,315
- And by you!
- Why me?!
248
00:09:01,317 --> 00:09:03,183
Because you're here talking my ear off
249
00:09:03,185 --> 00:09:04,918
when you should be buying extra food
250
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,421
for when I ignite '50s fever!
251
00:09:08,324 --> 00:09:10,124
But Stan, I'm bankrupt...
252
00:09:10,126 --> 00:09:12,259
You don't say you're "bankrupt,"
Daddy-O.
253
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,328
You say you're "on the skids."
254
00:09:16,466 --> 00:09:17,998
I like your plan.
255
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,968
And I love not wearing seatbelts.
256
00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:22,002
Aah!
257
00:09:22,004 --> 00:09:23,537
The CIA's Cuban operations
258
00:09:23,539 --> 00:09:26,740
really came through with these
classic cars on short notice.
259
00:09:26,742 --> 00:09:28,208
Paging Mr. Bega,
260
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:31,479
can you say "Mambo number '50s"?
261
00:09:31,481 --> 00:09:32,812
[LAUGHS]
262
00:09:32,814 --> 00:09:33,881
[GAGS, COUGHS]
263
00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:35,415
Plenty more where that came from.
264
00:09:35,417 --> 00:09:36,950
Like a Greaser, I've got goodies
265
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,819
rolled up all over my body.
266
00:09:38,821 --> 00:09:39,887
Pack of raisins.
267
00:09:39,889 --> 00:09:42,289
Box of Goobers in my waistband.
268
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:46,827
FRANCINE: Aah!
269
00:09:48,230 --> 00:09:49,763
Where are all the contestants?!
270
00:09:49,765 --> 00:09:51,965
You had one simple job, Steve.
271
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:54,368
To gather 500 to 600 professional
272
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:56,570
Fonzie impersonators
on an hour's notice.
273
00:09:56,572 --> 00:09:58,772
How was I supposed to get the word out?
274
00:09:58,774 --> 00:10:00,440
You won't let me use my computer!
275
00:10:00,442 --> 00:10:01,909
Before there was e-mail,
276
00:10:01,911 --> 00:10:04,244
there was just plain tell-e-grams.
277
00:10:04,246 --> 00:10:07,715
And we attached them to the
infamously dangerous lawn darts.
278
00:10:07,717 --> 00:10:11,051
Infamously dangerously fun.
279
00:10:11,053 --> 00:10:12,252
[DART IMPACTS, MAN SCREAMS]
280
00:10:12,254 --> 00:10:14,788
Have faith, son.
Trends always start with
281
00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:17,257
one single brave cool guy.
282
00:10:17,259 --> 00:10:19,527
But this time it's not James Dean.
283
00:10:19,529 --> 00:10:21,529
It's James me...
284
00:10:21,531 --> 00:10:23,463
[GAGGING]
285
00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:25,265
Enough of these faulty toothpicks!
286
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:29,203
It's time to show Hayley
just how wrong she is.
287
00:10:29,205 --> 00:10:30,670
Okay, one more try.
288
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,339
[GAGGING]
289
00:10:33,409 --> 00:10:35,743
♪♪
290
00:10:35,745 --> 00:10:37,077
Oh, Marilyn!
291
00:10:37,079 --> 00:10:39,679
Time to walk over that normal vent!
292
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,750
I'm in a hurry! Outta my way!
293
00:10:42,752 --> 00:10:45,685
Whoa, the air's so hot!
294
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:46,887
My genitals!
295
00:10:46,889 --> 00:10:48,789
Aaaaaaagh!
296
00:10:52,628 --> 00:10:54,328
Hey, let's play chicken!
297
00:10:55,565 --> 00:10:57,164
Whoa!
298
00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,233
Someone shred that guy and slather him
299
00:10:59,235 --> 00:11:00,834
in hot mayonnaise and marshmallows,
300
00:11:00,836 --> 00:11:02,169
because he's a chicken,
301
00:11:02,171 --> 00:11:04,805
and that's my recipe
for Chicken Ambrosia.
302
00:11:08,177 --> 00:11:11,311
Here's one that never fails
to spark '50s fever...
303
00:11:11,313 --> 00:11:14,081
Passing a milkshake between cars.
304
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,916
I can't reach you!
305
00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:17,918
I like bongos!
306
00:11:20,122 --> 00:11:21,255
Too thick!
307
00:11:21,257 --> 00:11:23,257
The way it used to be!
308
00:11:23,259 --> 00:11:24,324
Aah!
309
00:11:24,326 --> 00:11:25,926
[CRASH, HORN BLARING]
310
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:30,931
Ribs broken by steering column...
311
00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:33,234
The way it used to be.
312
00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:36,403
HAYLEY: Yes!
313
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,538
Yay!
314
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,474
With '50s fever failing to catch,
315
00:11:40,476 --> 00:11:43,477
it looks like Subhub's
new location is all
316
00:11:43,479 --> 00:11:46,213
but a certainty, which means...
317
00:11:46,215 --> 00:11:48,081
I'm really gonna be a manager!
318
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,017
With a manager's salary.
319
00:11:50,019 --> 00:11:53,020
And a manager's mansion.
320
00:11:53,022 --> 00:11:55,623
Who is this concept
artist everyone's using?
321
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:58,892
None of this would be
possible without you.
322
00:11:58,894 --> 00:11:59,960
[FLAMES BURSTING]
323
00:11:59,962 --> 00:12:01,295
My rod is too hot!
324
00:12:01,297 --> 00:12:03,163
And the Goobers in my pants melted!
325
00:12:03,165 --> 00:12:05,165
[LAUGHTER]
326
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:06,566
Yeah.
327
00:12:06,568 --> 00:12:08,502
None of this would be
possible without me.
328
00:12:08,504 --> 00:12:11,105
You feel bad for a man who
doesn't want his daughter
329
00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:12,640
to live in a mansion?
330
00:12:12,642 --> 00:12:13,974
The best type of house?!
331
00:12:13,976 --> 00:12:16,510
It's all Hayley's fault!
332
00:12:16,512 --> 00:12:18,712
I should've known she'd
mess up having drive
333
00:12:18,714 --> 00:12:22,382
like she has everything
else in her life.
334
00:12:22,384 --> 00:12:23,984
That's it.
335
00:12:23,986 --> 00:12:26,654
You're live on the air with...
336
00:12:26,656 --> 00:12:27,721
some kinda wolf...
337
00:12:27,723 --> 00:12:29,323
Dad, I know you're listening,
338
00:12:29,325 --> 00:12:30,524
and I want you to know
339
00:12:30,526 --> 00:12:32,993
I'm with people who appreciate my drive
340
00:12:32,995 --> 00:12:35,062
so much I'm getting a mansion.
341
00:12:35,064 --> 00:12:37,197
Wow. For our listeners who don't know,
342
00:12:37,199 --> 00:12:39,066
that's the best type of house.
343
00:12:39,068 --> 00:12:42,202
So just give up now and
stop embarrassing yourself!
344
00:12:42,204 --> 00:12:43,337
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
345
00:12:43,339 --> 00:12:45,339
- [WOLF HOWLS]
- Another caller!
346
00:12:45,341 --> 00:12:46,806
This isn't over, Hayley.
347
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,342
The fever is catching.
348
00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:50,077
WOMAN: It's the loser '50s guy!
349
00:12:50,079 --> 00:12:52,212
He's cheating and using a cellphone!
350
00:12:52,214 --> 00:12:54,748
Loser? Maybe free asbestos
351
00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:56,016
will change your mind!
352
00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:58,418
The miracle molecule of the '50s!
353
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:00,354
- Ugh!
- And, uh...
354
00:13:00,356 --> 00:13:03,623
It's only gonna get more
feverish when people see,
355
00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:06,293
uh...
356
00:13:06,295 --> 00:13:08,095
a James Dean type like me
357
00:13:08,097 --> 00:13:11,565
in a classic teenage knife
fight up at the old observatory!
358
00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:14,168
DJ, play a song of betrayal.
359
00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:16,704
I wanna dedicate it to my daughter.
360
00:13:17,761 --> 00:13:20,374
♪ Betrayal is a terrible thing ♪
361
00:13:20,376 --> 00:13:22,576
♪ The pain can last so long ♪
362
00:13:22,578 --> 00:13:25,645
♪ Oh, the devil's gonna
poke you in your giant ass ♪
363
00:13:25,647 --> 00:13:29,249
♪ And your daughter's
gonna cheer him on ♪
364
00:13:29,251 --> 00:13:32,252
[TIRES SCREECH]
365
00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:33,521
Watch out, teens!
366
00:13:33,523 --> 00:13:37,591
This rebel's gonna cause you
to love the '50s!
367
00:13:37,593 --> 00:13:38,726
[TEENS GASP]
368
00:13:38,728 --> 00:13:40,260
- [SCREAMING]
- Oh, my God!
369
00:13:40,262 --> 00:13:41,729
You stabbed me!
370
00:13:41,731 --> 00:13:43,531
It's just a nick! Please like this
371
00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,865
so I can prove my daughter wrong!
372
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,201
Please, I beg you!
373
00:13:47,203 --> 00:13:48,335
I'm not crazy!
374
00:13:48,337 --> 00:13:50,670
I just really love a restaurant.
375
00:13:50,672 --> 00:13:51,872
[SOBBING]
376
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:54,408
That's him!
The bowzer from Sha Na Na lookalike
377
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,076
who pooped his pants!
378
00:13:56,078 --> 00:13:58,345
James Dean... Goobers.
379
00:13:58,347 --> 00:13:59,947
Yeah, that's what they all say.
380
00:13:59,949 --> 00:14:03,617
We've got a warrant for your
arrest and plenty of witnesses.
381
00:14:03,619 --> 00:14:07,221
♪♪
382
00:14:07,223 --> 00:14:10,157
Before you arrest me, I just want to say
383
00:14:10,159 --> 00:14:12,226
none of that stuff I did was wrong
384
00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:14,428
in the '50s. You could get away with
385
00:14:14,430 --> 00:14:17,231
all kinds of crazy stuff because...
386
00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:19,900
♪ We didn't know that was bad yet ♪
387
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:22,470
♪ We didn't know that could kill ya ♪
388
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,374
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
389
00:14:27,376 --> 00:14:29,509
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
390
00:14:29,511 --> 00:14:31,511
You threw a lawn dart in my skull!
391
00:14:31,513 --> 00:14:33,313
♪ We didn't know it was wrong! ♪
392
00:14:33,315 --> 00:14:34,382
You stabbed my son!
393
00:14:34,384 --> 00:14:36,116
♪ We didn't know, we didn't know ♪
394
00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:37,451
You threw asbestos in my face!
395
00:14:37,453 --> 00:14:39,119
♪ Now you're insulated, dude ♪
396
00:14:39,121 --> 00:14:40,320
My genitals!
397
00:14:40,322 --> 00:14:41,855
♪ Wow, you're howdy doody smooth ♪
398
00:14:41,857 --> 00:14:44,724
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
399
00:14:44,726 --> 00:14:47,261
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
400
00:14:47,263 --> 00:14:48,596
But what if someone gets hurt?
401
00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:50,664
The nurses all wear funny hats!
402
00:14:50,666 --> 00:14:53,333
What about the rampant
sexism and racism?
403
00:14:53,335 --> 00:14:54,734
It was wrong then and it is wrong now
404
00:14:54,736 --> 00:14:56,270
and in our new '50s, it isn't allowed!
405
00:14:56,272 --> 00:14:57,671
[ALL CHEERING]
406
00:14:57,673 --> 00:14:59,206
The Fonzies came!
407
00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:00,474
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
408
00:15:00,476 --> 00:15:01,875
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
409
00:15:01,877 --> 00:15:04,945
♪ We're Fonzies and we're here to say ♪
410
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,413
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
411
00:15:06,415 --> 00:15:07,681
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
412
00:15:07,683 --> 00:15:11,085
♪ '50s fever's here to stay ♪
413
00:15:11,087 --> 00:15:12,486
I get it!
414
00:15:12,488 --> 00:15:14,488
The '50s were about willful ignorance!
415
00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:16,156
Now you're razzin' my berries!
416
00:15:16,158 --> 00:15:18,225
So I don't have to go to school?
417
00:15:18,227 --> 00:15:19,759
♪ That was the opposite of cool ♪
418
00:15:19,761 --> 00:15:21,228
And I can litter on the ground?
419
00:15:21,230 --> 00:15:22,896
♪ I call it nature's lost and found ♪
420
00:15:22,898 --> 00:15:24,031
And I can eat trans fats?
421
00:15:24,033 --> 00:15:25,499
♪ Some say that's
where the flavor's at ♪
422
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:26,834
So I can stab my son?
423
00:15:26,836 --> 00:15:28,502
♪ It's just a Nick, and yes, it's fun!
424
00:15:28,504 --> 00:15:29,903
So I can drink and drive?
425
00:15:29,905 --> 00:15:31,439
♪ Fonzie did it all the time ♪
426
00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:32,973
- Ay! Ay!
- Ay! Ay!
427
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:35,443
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
428
00:15:35,445 --> 00:15:38,178
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
429
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:39,980
[CROWD CHEERING]
430
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:43,250
Now that you've ignited '50s fever,
what's next, Stan?
431
00:15:43,252 --> 00:15:46,220
Going to Johnny Fifties,
saving it at long last?
432
00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:51,258
Too soon. These people aren't
hungry enough yet to choke down
433
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,459
that wretched slop.
434
00:15:52,461 --> 00:15:54,394
Everyone, to the sock hop!
435
00:15:54,396 --> 00:15:56,196
It's over, Hayley.
436
00:15:56,198 --> 00:15:58,198
Everyone can't have '50s fever.
437
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,334
My God, it's happening in here!
438
00:16:00,336 --> 00:16:03,403
Wail on that black forest ham,
Big Daddy!
439
00:16:03,405 --> 00:16:04,404
["TEQUILA" PLAYING]
440
00:16:04,406 --> 00:16:06,206
Welp, we're throwing in the towel.
441
00:16:06,208 --> 00:16:09,409
Subhub corporate is as quick to
give up as we are to celebrate.
442
00:16:09,411 --> 00:16:11,345
Why would he do this to me?
443
00:16:11,347 --> 00:16:14,014
He wanted me to have drive.
444
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,215
Wait...
445
00:16:15,217 --> 00:16:16,484
Drive...
446
00:16:16,486 --> 00:16:19,953
Time to fight '50s with '50s.
447
00:16:19,955 --> 00:16:26,093
♪♪
448
00:16:26,095 --> 00:16:28,095
FRANCINE: Aah!
449
00:16:28,097 --> 00:16:30,364
Now that you've danced
yourselves ravenous
450
00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:33,901
and would eat trash like wild boars,
let's go...
451
00:16:33,903 --> 00:16:35,235
save Johnny Fift...
452
00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:37,971
I challenge you to a drag race!
453
00:16:37,973 --> 00:16:39,106
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
454
00:16:39,108 --> 00:16:40,307
If I win the race,
455
00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:43,443
Subhub takes over Johnny Fifties.
456
00:16:43,445 --> 00:16:44,978
Ha! Why would I accept that
457
00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:47,114
when I already have everything I want?
458
00:16:47,116 --> 00:16:50,584
Because... '50s honor demands it.
459
00:16:50,586 --> 00:16:54,454
AUDIENCE CHANTING: '50s honor!
'50s honor!
460
00:16:54,456 --> 00:16:55,655
Okay! Okay!
461
00:16:55,657 --> 00:16:57,925
'50s honor, which I've just heard of,
462
00:16:57,927 --> 00:16:59,859
is everything to me!
463
00:16:59,861 --> 00:17:01,261
Let's drag!
464
00:17:01,263 --> 00:17:02,396
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
465
00:17:03,184 --> 00:17:05,933
Everyone's finally tuning into me,
Dogboy Chuck,
466
00:17:05,935 --> 00:17:09,336
as we all wonder who will
win the big drag race.
467
00:17:09,338 --> 00:17:11,004
It's Stan vs. Hayley,
468
00:17:11,006 --> 00:17:12,940
Johnny Fifties vs. Subhub,
469
00:17:12,942 --> 00:17:14,474
past vs. future,
470
00:17:14,476 --> 00:17:16,877
today's glory holes vs. giant '50s
471
00:17:16,879 --> 00:17:18,612
"Looney Tunes"-sized glory holes
472
00:17:18,614 --> 00:17:20,548
where you can just wave
at the guy or the gal
473
00:17:20,550 --> 00:17:22,015
on the other side.
474
00:17:22,017 --> 00:17:24,952
[ENGINES STARTING]
475
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:27,087
Hayley, before I win,
476
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,289
I should finally be honest with you.
477
00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:31,291
I wish Fonzie was my daughter.
478
00:17:31,293 --> 00:17:32,626
You're sick, Dad.
479
00:17:32,628 --> 00:17:35,162
And Fonzie is really
more of a '70s icon!
480
00:17:35,164 --> 00:17:37,832
Fonzie, Chachi, Potsie, Richie,
Fonzie, Chachi, Potsie, Richie!
481
00:17:39,569 --> 00:17:42,369
Don't! These cars are death traps!
482
00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:43,837
Don't worry, Steve.
483
00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,906
I've had my mechanics working all night.
484
00:17:45,908 --> 00:17:47,441
Show 'em, boys!
485
00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:49,243
- Ay!
- Ay! Ay!
486
00:17:49,245 --> 00:17:51,044
Safe enough for ya, Steve?
487
00:17:51,046 --> 00:17:55,048
And I'm DJ Apeman Snack,
the voice of a generation
488
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:56,650
and the face of a genera...
489
00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:58,718
Damn it,
you can't see my face on the radio.
490
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,520
I'll text you all a picture of my face
491
00:18:00,522 --> 00:18:02,390
using Amber alert technology.
492
00:18:02,392 --> 00:18:04,325
Look at it even if you're driving.
493
00:18:05,795 --> 00:18:07,727
Sorry if my dick is also in the picture.
494
00:18:07,729 --> 00:18:09,263
Don't let that shock you off the road.
495
00:18:09,265 --> 00:18:11,665
And take off those seatbelts,
it's the '50s!
496
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:14,735
Vietnam's around the corner
and it's gonna git ya!
497
00:18:18,074 --> 00:18:20,808
And now the song you've
all been waiting for,
498
00:18:20,810 --> 00:18:24,278
my very own number-one hit from 1958,
499
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,146
"Drag Race Angels"!
500
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:29,549
This one's dedicated to Stan and Hayley.
501
00:18:29,551 --> 00:18:32,286
♪ Drag race angels ♪
502
00:18:34,556 --> 00:18:36,290
♪ A father who's mean ♪
503
00:18:36,292 --> 00:18:38,826
♪ Drag race angels ♪
504
00:18:41,097 --> 00:18:42,830
♪ A daughter who dreams ♪
505
00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:45,032
Wait a second, I know this song.
506
00:18:45,034 --> 00:18:46,901
It was our song!
507
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,906
♪ Remember when Hayley ♪
508
00:18:52,908 --> 00:18:56,444
♪ Was just a little girl? ♪
509
00:18:56,446 --> 00:18:59,779
♪ You'd eat at Johnny Fifties ♪
510
00:18:59,781 --> 00:19:02,582
♪ And drink a malt with two straws ♪
511
00:19:02,584 --> 00:19:04,118
♪ You love these memories ♪
512
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:07,054
♪ Not the '50s,
you crazy drag race angel ♪
513
00:19:07,056 --> 00:19:09,857
Wow. This song really takes me back.
514
00:19:09,859 --> 00:19:12,926
And a lot of the lyrics make
more sense now than ever.
515
00:19:12,928 --> 00:19:15,663
I loved Johnny Fifties
because of the time
516
00:19:15,665 --> 00:19:17,397
I spent there with Hayley.
517
00:19:17,399 --> 00:19:19,599
But I can spend time with her now!
518
00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:21,802
Must kill Dad!
519
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:23,937
Eesh. Or maybe I can't.
520
00:19:23,939 --> 00:19:26,540
Man, how would Fonzie fix this?
521
00:19:27,743 --> 00:19:29,443
Ay!
522
00:19:31,347 --> 00:19:33,413
Nay!
523
00:19:33,415 --> 00:19:40,287
♪♪
524
00:19:40,289 --> 00:19:42,356
The Bronze Fonz, Stan!
525
00:19:42,358 --> 00:19:43,691
I took some '50s-style benzos
526
00:19:43,693 --> 00:19:46,293
and drove to Milwaukee
and back in one day!
527
00:19:46,295 --> 00:19:50,830
♪♪
528
00:19:50,832 --> 00:19:53,367
Johnny Fifties is saved!
529
00:20:01,711 --> 00:20:03,843
Oh, my God! Dad, are you okay?
530
00:20:03,845 --> 00:20:05,379
Oh, Hayley, forgive me.
531
00:20:05,381 --> 00:20:08,115
I haven't been James Dean or James me.
532
00:20:08,117 --> 00:20:10,584
I've been plain old James mean.
533
00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:12,986
Dad, you... you might have brain damage.
534
00:20:12,988 --> 00:20:14,988
One of your pupils is so big.
535
00:20:14,990 --> 00:20:18,192
That's because I'm looking
at someone I love so big.
536
00:20:18,194 --> 00:20:20,594
Hayley, I want you to know I support you
537
00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:22,930
wherever your drive takes you next,
538
00:20:22,932 --> 00:20:24,665
Subhub or no Subhub.
539
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:28,068
The toothpicks are back!
540
00:20:28,070 --> 00:20:31,471
I'm gonna drive you to the hospital.
541
00:20:31,473 --> 00:20:34,074
I spy with my little eye...
542
00:20:34,076 --> 00:20:35,275
a table!
543
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:38,145
Aww, it's our table!
544
00:20:38,881 --> 00:20:41,148
ROGER: ♪ Table angels ♪
545
00:20:43,419 --> 00:20:44,818
♪ They love each other now ♪
546
00:20:44,820 --> 00:20:48,889
♪ Don't worry about Sal ♪
547
00:20:48,891 --> 00:20:51,425
♪ He sells Chicken Ambrosia, wow ♪
548
00:20:51,427 --> 00:20:52,492
♪ He's a billionaire ♪
549
00:20:52,494 --> 00:20:56,163
♪ Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
550
00:20:56,165 --> 00:20:58,132
Bye-bye! See you soon!
551
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,994
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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