Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪

- I did it. I'm leaving this place.

I need to get home to my kids.

I know they need me, I just feel it in my gut.

I will always carry this place in my heart.

- And this tide pool, it's a deep one.

Got it!

Look at the claws on you, buddy.

This is a pot-full of Dungeness crab.

And I am happy.

- Yeah, there's definitely a storm a-brew.

Every day is so long here now.

When you don't have calories and you don't have

anything to do, it sucks.

I really can't wait to get out of here.

- I just miss my wife something fierce.

It would be so easy to just make the call

and be back with Shauna tomorrow.

- Who are you when everything's been stripped away?

[bleep].

[yelping]

- It's scary out here in these woods.

- I have not had a serious meal in a week.

I can't get a fire, then I can't stay here.

- It's always in the back of your mind,

"Well, I could tap out."

- Putting up with this filming [bleep]?

- Running into a predator, it's not an if.

It's a when.

Get the hell out of here.

I see you. Get out of here!

- I'm living a hand-to-mouth existence.

Yes! Ah!

- $500,000 is a lot of money.

- It's just gonna keep getting harder.

- It's not the world that needs to change.

It's me that needs to change.

[moans]

♪

♪

Isn't that pretty?

I am so proud of this shank.

I found this on the beach.

I mean, I can just grab this in my pocket

and use it and it if impacts

a rock on the far side of a fish, so be it.

It's a nail.

I can sharpen this again.

I'm shanking all kinds of stuff.

You don't want to mess with me anymore.

I'm like a...

I don't know, I'm just kind of going wild here.

How to hunt a limpet: you look and look and look in the rocks.

I'm gonna use my pink-handled prison shank.

So I just get him underneath the corner

and now he's history, he's fish bait.

♪

♪ Shank the limpet

♪ Shank the limpet

Is he going mad?

I believe he is.

♪

The thing which has gotten me most, almost everything

I've eaten so far, has been a hook and a line.

And, yes, it's an active means and I have to do that

while I'm not doing other things,

but all the other things are done.

I'm not hurting for wood, I have plenty of water,

my shelter is perfect.

♪

There's lots of days I've been fishing

which I didn't catch anything.

♪

But I'm getting better at it.

♪

Getting better at finding where they are.

I need to get over there, but the tide is still

in too far for me to get over.

I'm getting more patient.

♪

Yes!

♪

Yes!

♪

Yes, the biggest rock bassI have

in my entire life!

[growls]

Dinner! Ow!

♪

Can you tell I'm a happy man today?

Can you tell...

that today has been a good day already?

I saw it happen too.

I dropped the limpet in, I see this fish move up,

[kissing sound]

She just hit it.

I see--there's a white limpet,

you know, the white limpets are white down there,

and it's all dark, and I see this fish shape moving up,

all a sudden that limpet just goes--right in.

I gave her a tap, and oh my goodness,

she's on the hook and she is on the stringer!

♪

It does not get better than this.

♪

This is the grace of God, all right?

All my life, I've sucked at fishing.

And I come out here, I'm like,

"Aight, Lord, you know I need some fish tonight,

because I'm really super hungry."

♪

And he's, like, "Yeah, I love you, man.

"Here you go.

Eat a giant fish tonight for dinner."

♪

Yes!

"In fact, here's another giant fish."

♪

And I really, truly, and honestly believe

that if God took his hand off of me,

I would fail immediately.

♪

Just one misplaced step.

That what--all it would take to take me out of here.

♪

I got to clean some fish, make some soup.

♪

There.

I've got more meat in this pot than at anytime

during my entire stay at Desolation Cove.

I'd be great to actually share this experience with somebody.

♪

And that's the thing that's killing me about it.

♪

The finer things in life are only fine if you share them.

♪

What good is it to go to a fine restaurant

and have this perfect meal alone?

Wouldn't you rather take a friend?

♪

♪

I love this sound.

The sound of the rain hitting the tarp.

It's a comforting sound to me.

♪

It's a way better sound than the ocean.

I'm--I'm sick of the ocean sound.

[waves crashing]

The ocean, to me, is like that one dude

that's like, "Hah hah hah hah hah!

"Look at me! I'm over here!

"I'm here! Look at me! I'm here!"

You know, and you're like,

"All right, dude, I understand."

"Yeah, but what about my story? My story.

"I've got a bigger and better story than yours.

My story."

Okay, dude, you know, we-- I see that you're there.

I understand that your presence is there.

"No, no, no, I'm over here!

Here, I'm here."

To me, that's the ocean.

The ocean is always pow, pow, pow.

[waves crashing]

♪

Anyway, I check my Paiute here.

♪

Nothing.

The mice are being a pain again.

They know about my trap now.

Huh.

I think they've learned, I don't think they're

coming back anymore.

♪

I'm really hungry.

Really hungry.

I've been checking my lines, nothing's been on them.

I'm starting to get worried.

♪

You think it's easy fishing out there?

I've tried.

You think I haven't gone out there

every effing night and fished?

They're not biting out there right now.

[bleep] criminy.

For some [bleep] reason, they're not biting.

And I'm running out of bait that I could be eating.

My gill net has been worthless.

I've caught, like, two fish the entire time

I've been here on that gill net.

Oh, this darn gill net.

♪

What a pain in the hooskie this thing has been to me.

♪

My son told me not to pack one of these.

And I said, "Well, everybody swears by 'em."

And he hemmed and hawed, and I'm like,

"Nah, he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I should've listened to him.

I'm done with my gill net.

♪

The resources are-- are really thinning out now.

I've really depleted a lot of, basically,

everything in my area.

If I'm eating 20 periwinkles a day,

almost 20 a day, it shows,

because they're not out there.

♪

There is so little stuff left.

And now I've come to the point where

I don't really have the bait to spare.

♪

I can't afford to bait my hooks every single day

and maybe have the chance of a fish.

I have to utilize that resource.

I have to eat those periwinkles.

I'm done fishing.

That's it.

The periwinkles are actually guaranteed food,

whereas I'm fishing and trying to gamble for food.

It's just not worth it.

♪

Damn, some of these are small, man.

[sighs]

Small, small, small.

Far as I'm concerned, man, I've done everything I can do.

It's sheer hopelessness.

♪

Sheer hopelessness.

♪

There's no hope of getting anymore food than what I have.

♪

There's no hope.

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

Sea otter.

Right in front of my nose.

♪

He's finding food all right.

♪

I don't think he has any trouble

feeding himself here at all.

♪

And he seems to be having fun in the process, to boot.

♪

Watching a sea otter here.

Pretty amazing critter.

Amazing landscape.

♪

This place, uh, not being...

hungry and cold and wet and all that,

like being, uh, here having a house, a lodge.

A life of some sort.

A wife.

Would be a marvelous place to visit.

When all of this is over, maybe we'll come

and spend some time here, but, uh, with full bellies.

♪

I think I've done pretty well so far.

I pushed my body a bit much.

I'm very skinny and I feel quite slow and weak.

I couldn't win a fight against a rabbit right now.

♪

Checking the net.

If we're lucky, there's something in there.

♪

Holy Moses, look at that!

I think there's a fish in there.

♪

♪

These guys are incredibly tough, these fish.

There must've been a big predator,

but now, today the day of the hunter came for you.

As it will come for all of us someday.

♪

Now, at my current state of depletion,

one day without grub is all I'm willing to take.

And then the experiment is over.

♪

This is the worse shape I have been in...ever

in my whole entire life, right now.

♪

The reason I'm hanging on is Shauna.

♪

I want to give my wife a better life than she has.

♪

It's all it is right now.

♪

I'm from Spain originally.

Even though my wife is from Canada,

we live in the Yukon territory.

♪

I'm not allowed to work in Canada yet.

She's been supporting me for a while.

This is my once chance to support her,

and that's why I'm here.

[spits]

♪

This is my one chance in life I have to really,

really do something great for my wife.

♪

[hums]

♪

♪

- Every night, I dream about food.

♪

You toss and turn, you crave, you crave.

You wake up from a craving dream.

You just got this thing in the back of your head

that says, "You know, you can tap, man, you can tap.

"You can be in town eating a hamburger.

Think about all the restaurants you're gonna go to."

In the mornings, when I'm just laying there,

trying to get back to sleep, it's like a full-blown

raging machine in my head.

♪

I'm in a funk right now.

Every morning, I just wake up and I'm just ready to tap.

Um, and then I get some food in me,

it gets dark, and then I'm like,

"Well, that wasn't such a bad day."

And then every morning, it starts over again.

♪

It's getting worse, day, by day, by day.

I'm starving Marvin, man.

♪

Like, I've never felt this type of hunger, ever.

♪

Every day, you lay your head down,

and all you can think about is food.

When you wake up in the morning,

they're true hunger pains.

My stomach hurts most of the time.

It's gurgling most of the time,

it's complaining most of the time that it needs food.

♪

How much psychological torment can you actually take?

This is torment.

♪

It's more than just the cravings.

It's emotional despair, it's emotional...

trauma.

It's truly trauma.

I'm feeling trauma right now.

♪

Yep, it's pretty close to tap day, boys.

Pretty close to tap day!

It's close!

It's close!

♪

I'm gonna be gone!

You've taken the last bit of my soul.

This is all I can handle!

Do you hear me?

This is all I can do!

I can't do no more!

♪

- It's going to be a beautiful day today.

♪

So I'm gonna decorate this tree with wet socks.

♪

No way it's gonna rain, there's no way.

You know, I say that, knowing this is Vancouver Island.

And it very well could rain today.

It could pour down rain.

♪

So I'm gonna try and fish from here.

This is very slippery seaweed on here, though.

♪

This is a place to be careful.

♪

This area is just deep.

And I got a nice ledge right in here.

I'm gonna try and fish.

Maybe there's something hanging out in there.

♪

Oh, something grabbed it.

In the beginning, there was lots of days like today,

which I didn't eat anything.

There was lots of opportunity in fish and things going on

out there, I just didn't know what to do with it.

I didn't know how to get it.

Yes!

♪

and now that I do, I'm consistently hitting on fish.

That's how survival goes.

♪

Ugh.

Cut off the hook.

Whoa.

That was close.

That was close.

♪

Physically, I can hold my own for a long time

doing this, I think. I really can.

♪

I know that, emotionally, this is getting more difficult.

Definitely.

♪

There's that hierarchy of human needs.

If you don't have air, you're not gonna think about water.

If you don't have water, you're not gonna think about food.

If I have food, then I start doing things

like missing my kids.

Start thinking about the fact that I'm alone.

♪

On the one hand, I'm still happy to be here,

on the other hand, thoughts of home

are really starting to get to me.

♪

As this becomes more and more normal to me,

what I'm missing becomes more and more real.

♪

I am lonely.

♪

I need a hug.

♪

That's what I need right now, at this moment,

and I can't have that.

I need to talk to my kids and I can't do that.

♪

This is not easy

and I just kind of push that down.

[sniffles]

♪

[wind whistling]

♪

♪

- You live on a razor edge out here

as to whether you're gonna succeed or fail.

And I'm not talking life or death,

I'm talking having to tap and go home.

♪

It's definitely 1,000 cuts.

It's lack of calories.

You know, the rain.

The rough weather with the rough tides.

You got the drift coming in and wrecking your gill net

or wrecking your lines.

The fish not biting.

The mouse chewing through your pack.

And right now, it's the freaking hunger.

These are all things that nag and you and nag at you

and jab and jab and jab.

Until, finally, you just ain't got nothing left.

I'm at that point now where I ain't got nothing left.

♪

I got to be honest with ya, I've pretty much--

my will has been broken.

♪

I've had enough of this crap.

I'm over it.

It seems stupid to think that way

when there's that large of a sum of money involved,

but, you know, a person can only handle so much.

♪

You know, who knows how long these people

are gonna last for?

I don't even know how many people are left,

and they could be, you know, catching fish left and right.

I don't know.

It's disheartening.

♪

Giving up sucks.

♪

There's no way to sugar coat it.

Just giving up.

I never--I don't remember ever giving up anything in my life.

It's a sucky-ass feeling.

I just don't want to let my family down, man.

♪

It just keeps coming back.

Keeps coming back and nagging me, just, like,

"Well, you freaking loser."

It's just...

God.

[fire crackling]

I didn't come out here for the money.

I caut here to test myself.

But, on the other hand...

I could do so much for my family, man.

[fire crackling]

Very disappointing.

My wife-- my wife's gonna be,

in her heart, I know she's gonna be--

I know she's gonna be disappointed in me.

God bless it.

I know she...

she's--I'm--

Oh.

She's gonna think about that money and think,

"Gosh, that would have been a

"really nice deal for us, you know?

"We could have sold the house, we could have gotten out

from underneath this mortgage."

You know, and that's what I'm thinking too.

She would never say anything like that

to me to hurt my feelings like that, but...

[sobs]

♪

I just feel like I'mletting her down so bad, man.

I had such high expectations of coming out here

and winning this.

♪

♪

[sobbing] Please, God, help me.

Please help me. [cries]

♪

Please, God.

Please, man.

Please, God.

♪

Please.

Make it end soon, please.

Just make it end, God, I don't have the energy for this.

I don't have the will for this.

I ain't got much fuel left in my tank, baby.

I ain't got much fuel left.

I ain't got it.

I just ain't got it.

In my heart and in my mind.

[sniffling]

♪

Please, God, help me.

Please help me, man.

♪

Make it rain fish or something, man.

♪

Oh, God, help me.

[dramatic music]

♪

- I was kind of hoping for a spin with the kayak

to try to fish by hand.

But it--it's, uh, today is very variable.

It--rain showers, sunshine, rain showers, wind.

It doesn't look like a kayak day very much at all.

Not a whole lot left in my carefully-hoarded supplies,

so I'm basically stretching what little food I had

from the last few days and seeing what comes my way.

♪

It all happens in accordance to what the bush wants to give me.

And so far, the bush has been, actually,

surprisingly generous.

Yeah, we'll see how much longer I am being supported here,

how much longer I'm being nourished and kept.

♪

The gill net, I have a pulley system there.

And, basically, when there's a piece of wood that tangles,

the net and the pull line, it won't go.

That's a problem.

[thunder rumbling]

Oh, this stick, I think, came loose.

Boy, would that ever be good news.

And it rhymes.

♪

Uh-oh.

The whole net came out, I think.

♪

My whole gill net is out.

♪

Oh, boy.

♪

Oh, boy.

♪

I've pulled up the whole anchor system of the net

♪

And I can't do anything about it right now.

It's too deep to set it.

♪

I need to come back again and reset it.

[grunting]

Or make a decision about it.

♪

The gill net is providing me

sometimes those gorgeous meals.

And it's gonna be really hard to survive here without it.

♪

I'm stretching the supplies that I have right now

to the point of impossibility.

♪

It's not looking all that promising.

Unless I put the gill net in.

The lower most tides that let me wade in the water

and pound stakes in the ground, it has to be really, really low,

and those are the moon tides.

And we just passed new moon.

So, basically, I'm as far away

of the big moon tides as I can be.

I just can't wait that long.

So I've been thinking of how to set it up from the kayak.

Kayaking is becoming more of a challenge.

Everything's been getting colder and colder here

and wearing those wet water shoes

in the kayak for an hour...

my feet come out, it's clumps of ice.

I mean, it's really rough.

♪

I'm gonna try to do that tomorrow.

If that works, I'll have a gill net again.

If not, then, uh...

♪

Looks like some rough times may be ahead.

♪

[chuckles]

Weird dream--I dreamed I was here at the cove

and there was a bunch of kids here from the Quatsino tribe

that were teaching me how to fish with spears.

♪

And I just thought that was the coolest thing.

And I wake up and, you know, it's like,

"Okay, I'm all by myself here now."

♪

I'm feeling the lack of people, definitely.

♪

The thing that bothers me about being alone out here

is that I'm doing an activity which I have always

shared with other people.

I have always been involved with other people

when I'm in the bush.

♪

It's like, man, I've got this great place,

this great camp, and I'm the only one in it.

And what's the fun in that?

♪

I'm beginning to understand and learn how human contact

is a basic human need, that we really do need this

social interaction.

We're social creatures, and we're not

designed to live alone.

♪

And universally, we view people

that do live away from society

as an aberration.

The isolation of this is what makes this experience

what it is.

The isolation, and the fact that I am out here by myself

and do not have anyone to talk to

and do not have anyone else to depend upon.

Or to care for.

And I think that's a significant motivation in life

that keeps us moving, that keeps up going,

is to care for somebody else.

♪

I've never been away from my kids for more than

a week or two.

And homesickness...

could really get you here.

♪

The isolation is getting to me.

It really does bother me now.

I don't like being alone and cut off like this.

♪

At this point, there's nothing really good about it.

♪

How long is long enough?

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

Oh, what a beautiful day.

Thank you, Lord. Oh, my gosh.

♪

You can get into a rut where you're kind of

feeling sorry for yourself a little bit.

And this journey

has kind of opened my eyes to just how lucky

and how fortunate I am.

♪

I've worked hard to be good at my job.

My wife has worked hard to be good at her job.

Nothing was just handed to us.

But we are extremely lucky

to be in the situation that we are in.

I need to stop being such a half empty kind of guy

and be more half full, you know?

A glass half full kind of guy and just be more positive.

♪

Today, I made the decision that I was gonna

burn all my firewood and I was gonna just eat

the last of my limpets and periwinkles.

♪

I was ready to go home.

I thought God had given me the perfect day

to finish out my journey here.

♪

I am mentally checked out.

♪

I went to a really bad place, man.

I really don't want to go there again.

♪

I can either lose this...

or I can gut it out and win it.

♪

[sighs]

♪

I freaking want to win.

I want to win this bad.

♪

I need this win.

It would help my wife out, it would help me out.

♪

It would be a significant life change.

♪

I'll have to start on the hunt for limpets

and periwinkles and stuff again.

Maybe I'll start running lines again, you know?

♪

I'm gonna waste this entire journey if I tap now.

It's all up to me, man.

♪

You know, how much can you handle?

How far can you go?

♪

I thought I went as far as I could.

Evidently, I got a little bit left in me still.

Which sucks.

♪

When you're right at that point where you say,

"I did everything I can do,"

There's always a little bit more you can give.

There's always a little bit more.

You can dig always a little bit deeper.

♪

I'm digging deeper, I'm trying to dig as deep

as I can possibly go.

♪

I'd rather go out swinging.

♪

♪

I'm, uh...

putting some stuff here together sort of quick.

♪

I have to pull out the whole gill net.

So I got the gill net now.

♪

Which means that, uh,

I'm running out of grub, basically.

♪

The option of pulling the post back in from the water

is not a good valid option right now.

♪

So I've been thinking of how to set it up from the kayak.

♪

I figured, how 'bout I go--

I sink a rock with a line in a float.

Perfect.

So this guy, I hope, goes out

to the shore and this guy,

this rope here,

goes down to a stone.

It'll sink where the pole, the stick, used to be.

♪

Is it going to work?

♪

I don't know.

But I have to try.

Yes, I do.

'Cause that's what a man does.

Try.

♪

I am really hoping to go back into

food production very soon.

Because I'm not ready to go home.

♪

I'm here trying to accomplish something...

♪

For my family.

♪

The honorable thing to do it is to fight on and push on.

♪

There's no better reason, anyway, in the universe.

Do things for love or for fear in the end.

I said I'm gonna carry on

for the love I have for this woman...

and to try to change her life.

If I win, I can really change her life.

♪

She's been supporting me and I really want to support her.

♪

Life has given me this one chance to make a life-changing

event happen for my family.

♪

But how many times do you get into something like this

where you have a real shot...

at a prize like this, right?

♪

[yelps]

[screams]

♪

♪

How many more days?

How many more days of this?

[shouts]

You ever have one of those days where everything's going right?

Bazinga!

I finally caught the effing mouse!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Look at this fantastic fish.

Whoo-hoo!

- That prize money would be huge.

I'm sick of being the dad that always has to say no.

- $500,000 can help my family out.

Makes things better for us.

- Believe me, I'll keep fighting.

Every step of the way, I'll keep fighting.

Whoo!

♪