Original subtitles

Oh. Oh.

Hypothermia is a very real threat.

If I can't get warm, I'll tap.

- I missed the salmon run altogether,

but if I'm lucky, maybe I can fish offshore.

Finally things are happening for me.

- I'm trying not to think about tapping,

and I'm thinking about tapping all the time.

There damn sure ain't a lot left,

I can tell you that right now. [sniffles]

- Very empty net, nothing caught in it.

I'm gonna go check out where the bears live,

see if I can steal some food.

I got a weird feeling there's a cougar over here.

All right, yeah, I've gone far enough.

- Who are you when everything's been stripped away?

[bleep].

[yelping]

- It's scary out here in these woods.

- I have not had a serious meal in a week.

- If I can't get a fire, then I can't stay here.

- It's always in the back of your mind--

"Well, I could tap out."

- Putting up with this filming bull[bleep]?

- Running into a predator's not an "if."

It's a "when."

Get the hell out of here.

I see you. Get out of here!

- I'm living a hand-to-mouth existence.

Yes! Ah!

$500,000 is a lot of money.

- It's just gonna keep getting harder.

- It's not the world that needs to change.

It's me that needs to change.

[moans]

[dramatic music]

♪

- The sun is actually out today.

In between clouds, coming and going, but...

Oh, boy, that's good.

The night was cold here-- actually, quite cold.

The thing is, with the humidity here,

the chill factor is much colder

than a thermometer would tell you, I believe.

Anyway, mostly interested

in finding some grub...

some food to carry on a bit

and see what the day brings.

♪

It is really quite cold for kayaking.

The temperatures here are definitely

making it quite uncomfortable to spend an hour

inside of a kayak with wet feet,

but right now I'm starving.

I have to find those fish offshore.

♪

See how it unravels?

♪

This part is supposed to be easy.

Now, this here will unravel by itself.

The whole thing unravels very fast,

which means it's really honking deep here.

I'm gonna set a smaller one now closer to shore.

♪

Huh, interesting.

I see some sort of,

like, a blue container that the high tide brought here.

That could be a major treasure.

Let me see if I can focus on that.

It's hard to focus,

but there is a blue barrel of sorts.

This is all fogged up.

That could be a major score right there.

I'm already starting to think what uses it could have.

It's too cold being out on the water,

so what I'll do now is ditch my kayak,

and then I'll go check that barrel.

♪

[rodent squeaking]

Oh, my goodness.

The m--

The weasels just ran right behind my back.

As in "reach down and touch a weasel"

right behind my back.

Both of them.

They could care less that I'm here anymore.

They might be minks.

I keep calling them weasels, ferrets.

I have no idea what they are.

It's either a marten, a mink, a ferret, or a weasel.

I think weasels are smaller.

These are quite large. They're, like, that big.

And now they're in there fighting with each other.

They do that all the time. They squabble.

But you can tell they love each other,

'cause they're always out there every day, doing their thing,

and they would never think of doing it alone.

♪

Oh, that sun goes away, it gets cold here quick.

♪

I've got to expand my hunting territory

or my fishing grounds or whatever you want to call it.

Until now, at extreme low tide,

I was always headed out to the reef,

and that was my primary fishing area,

and now I've decided,

"Okay, let me check out this side of the cove

and see if I can expand my fishing opportunities."

This is looking promising, folks.

This is like finding the Northwest Passage for me

in terms of opening up new territory to fish.

For fishing bait out here,

and there's some really big ones out here.

To have that whole west side of the cove open up like that,

it feels like I just got a raise.

You're struggling along in life,

and things are really tight and really tight,

and then all of a sudden, you get a big raise,

or you get a big bonus,

and, like, life kind of eases up a little bit.

"Oh, wow, we can go grocery shopping.

I can fill up the tank all the way."

Life just got easier.

Whoa, rainbow!

Check that out.

Oh, wow, get the camera on that.

Can we get it? Yeah, cool.

Beautiful rainbow.

I think I'm gonna move on.

I do have to take a look

and explore further along this coast.

This tide pool is a deep one.

It's, like, you know, probably four feet deep.

Oh, baby, I get to do some crabbing tonight--cool.

Oh, man, when they're in the rocks like this,

there isn't a whole lot for them to grab on to.

Come on, buddy.

You know you want the limpet.

♪

Got it.

Oh, he's a biggun.

Yes.

I see a big one right here.

See, he's in defensive mode now.

♪

Look at the claws on you, buddy.

Come on, eat the limpet.

♪

Got it.

Oh, you're even bigger than the other one.

Yes!

♪

This is like crabbing heaven.

This pond is the best thing I've found

since I've been here,

and that's, long-term, what I need to keep me fed.

This is a pot full of Dungeness crab.

And I am happy

♪

- ♪ Got to get through the dog days ♪

♪ The dog days that don't mean anything ♪

♪ All I'm doing is suffering

♪ Why are you suffering?

♪ I'm trying to make life changes ♪

♪ Why can't you just change without the suffering? ♪

♪ I don't know

♪ Sometimes the good in life

♪ Is right in front of your eyes ♪

♪ But it takes a little suffering to see it ♪

Oh, my goodness.

I wonder what my wife's doing today.

♪

The longer I'm out here for,

the more I realize how lucky I am

to have a wife like I do.

Sometimes I kind of start

to take for granted the situation.

I try to not let that happen,

but sometimes it does happen.

♪

I really am gonna try and do more fun things with my wife.

It's gotten into a rut where, like,

every time I come home on Friday or Saturday night,

it's like, "I'm talking to people on the computer.

I want to be left alone."

And that's no fun for her.

♪

I love you, Rachael.

♪

I grew up with my wife, basically.

I mean, we were 17.

It was always us against the world,

you know, to sacrifice for the kids.

[voice breaking] My son told me once that I was his hero--

he was older too, he was, like, 21 or 22--

For going to work every day

and supporting him and the rest of the family...

Even though he knew how much I didn't like it.

♪

It's an awesome thing to be called a hero

from your kid.

It's an awesome thing.

♪

I need to stop dwelling on,

"Well, I wish I would've changed that,"

or, "I wish that this would've happened," or whatever,

and start realizing that I did a pretty damn good job,

and my kids love me for it,

and they turned out good, and move on.

Now there's a new aspect to my life,

and that means paying more attention to my wife

and stop being so damn sad

about having to go to work all the time.

That's just part of life.

Look forward to the little things in life.

♪

- Well, this is the big find--

a barrel with a net around it.

And it sure looks

like it's been out on the water for a long time.

I stand it up to help the draining.

[straining]

[breathing heavily]

Oh, man, look at all these mussels.

♪

These are deep-sea mussels.

I wonder if they would have the red tide thing.

♪

Just in case, I'm gonna collect them.

Could be a plate of food right here.

I'm thinking this barrel must have come--

It's been in the water for a long time.

Must have come from a long ways out at sea.

My guess is that it would be--

these guys would be less exposed to...

the red tide thing.

Anyway, that's just a hungry man's theory.

Oh, there's another bunch of mussels here.

Okay.

These guys have to come to the refuge with me,

just in case.

The mussels, I'm pretty sure, are safe,

and if they're not,

well, they may make me sick like a dog.

I don't know.

This is a tremendous risk,

but that's the bush for you.

Anyway, back to the shelter we go

and tossing what we have in the pot.

♪

This is a very difficult decision.

♪

But when you go hungry so long,

it puts a warm plate of food

in a completely different perspective.

I'm confident it should be all right.

I think it should be all right.

So here we go. I need the food.

Like I said before, life is risk.

Nobody survives it.

So bon appétit.

[slurping]

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

Last night I did get

a whole pot full of mussels

out of the outside and I just ate them.

♪

I didn't get any tingly feeling

on the tongue or anything like that.

Like, they say that's a bad sign and all that.

So I'm confident that they were healthy

and free of any red tide contamination.

Absolutely delicious.

Oh, boy, that reminded me of Spain.

A pot full of mussels-- mmm.

That really reminded me of my country.

♪

Anyway, that's the news from over here.

Happy and healthy, have a full belly.

Let's see what the day brings.

♪

So, yeah, I guess winter is here.

[laughs]

It feels like it. It's cold.

♪

It's really cold.

I keep going out and doing little errands,

like getting some debris, coming back and warming my hands

by the fire, going to get some firewood

and coming back and warming my hands by the fire.

I keep doing that over and over because it's really cold.

♪

Today is my youngest son's eighth birthday.

Last night, eight years ago...

we were home, and my water broke,

and we were going down and asking Beau

to babysit Colton for the night

'cause Dad and I were going to the hospital...

[laughs]

To have Quinn, and it was...

Yeah, out he came early this morning.

So...

I'm missing his birthday.

♪

I've never missed any of my kids' birthdays, ever.

I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful birthday,

and I'm sorry I missed it,

and I'm thinking about you.

I think about you and your brother every day out here--

every day.

♪

Wow. It's the first time I'm getting emotional.

I miss my kids, you know?

Mm.

Who wouldn't? [laughs]

I've been gone a long time.

The salmon run's dried up.

So I'm not getting fish, really, much anymore.

That's getting to be definitely an issue

and something I need to focus on is getting enough calories.

But now time to go get some plantain and yarrow,

and then it's gonna be time to come back

and warm my hands by the fire.

All right.

[sniffs] There's yarrow.

[sniffs] See all the stalks sticking up.

Ooh, it's cold.

See lots of yarrow.

Plantain, where art thou?

♪

It's all kind of yellow.

Yeah, this plantain-- I don't know if it's the cold,

but it's not looking very good.

Yeah, it's looking way past edibility here.

This looks frostbitten.

A lot of dead plantain here.

I don't know if I'm gonna be able to harvest any.

Oh, yeah, that's all dead too.

Oh, bummer.

I see it, but it's all dead.

Dead, dead, dead.

It got cold.

Now I don't have those green food sources anymore.

So it's not looking very good.

I'm craving all sorts of food,

but there's nothing left.

♪

Today's kind of a bust.

It's cold. It's rainy.

It's windy. The high tide is already in.

To hit the low tide, I had to get up way early,

and it was raining, pounding rain,

so I didn't do it.

So there you have it.

My camera's totally fogged over, I can see.

And...

kind of a crappy day to be here in Desolation Cove.

It puts the "desolation"

in "Desolation Cove," definitely.

The tide and the weather control everything that I do

in terms of getting myself fed

or even preparing things for my camp.

On a day where I'm locked in, I'm kind of stuck in here,

just kind of biding my time and waiting it out.

My hands are numb.

Sometimes it feels like I'm just

kind of putting up with it all out here,

and I don't like feeling that way.

I'm really looking forward to this tide cycle

to catch up to low tide in the morning

and...

praying for decent weather to take advantage of it.

I got to get this thing zipped up.

We haven't had cold like this in the daytime

since I've been here.

This is the coldest it's been.

Zipper's stuck.

Yes.

[zipper grinding]

There.

You see, this isn't like home where you can come in

and get warm and do something.

Here, getting warm is the activity.

It is the thing that I'm doing right now.

I'm getting warm,

and this is the only way I got to do it.

And I'm gonna stay here until tomorrow morning.

[wind whistling]

♪

- Yeah, there's definitely a storm a-brew or someg.

I mean, there's definitely some gusts, so...

Anyway, I'm gonna go hydrate

and then just hang out in my shelter.

Every day is so long here now.

Every day takes, like, 48 hours to get done with.

The novelty stage is way over with.

I really can't wait to get out of here.

It's a beautiful area,

but when you don't have calories

and you don't have anything to do, it's just--it sucks.

A good book would do wonders for this place.

Yeah, I'd say there's a little bit

of freezing rain going on out there.

It's almost like it's snowing.

It's snowing.

Whoo!

It'll be interesting to see how folks's shelter held up.

It'd sure be a shame if there were a few folks' shelter

that got wrecked and they had to tap early.

It'd be a crying shame.

Not my shelter, though.

I don't wish any evil or any bad on anybody.

But if their shelter collapsed and they were okay...

♪

I'm just saying.

♪

Man, it's really going to town with this freezing rain stuff.

♪

[ice pattering]

That's not snow.

That's not rain. That's ice hitting.

[pattering continues]

♪

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's ice pellets.

How it kind of cracks against the--

[pattering increases]

Dang, that's a lot of ice pellets.

The wind is bone chillingly cold,

and, seriously, the only thing left for me today

is to get warm and stay that way.

This place is like the ultimate fake-out

when it comes to weather.

Not even 5:00 in the evening, and I'm down for the day.

Someday when I watch all this, I will be smiling.

I will be surrounded by my family.

I will be warm, clean...

Physically fit...

And eating ribs.

[pattering continues]

Yeah, it's weather like this that makes people tap out.

[pattering continues, wind whistling]

[dramatic music]

♪

- I think today I'm gonna forage for some food,

'cause I need to get some protein.

It's not raining,

so I'm gonna put my boots and my gaiters on

and go up this back hill and see if I can get up there.

It was raining really hard last night, like, all night.

I don't know what today's gonna do.

It's hard to tell.

The weather here changes so quickly.

I have no idea.

I'm going on a little hike to look for mushrooms.

My green sources are dried up,

but mushrooms should be still here.

Ooh, oh. I'm gonna hurt myself.

I got to watch where I'm going.

Let's see...

Oh.

♪

[sighs]

All right, come on, mushrooms, where are you?

Are you under this big tree?

This may be just a waste of calories.

I don't know.

[sighs]

I love the deer fern. It's so pretty.

Lot of horsetail around--

that's all of this that's around.

It's got the silica in it.

It's really good for cleaning

or getting your teeth clean, the horsetail.

♪

It works better powdered, but still...

it's a good scouring brush.

♪

Man, it's thick. I can't get up that.

There's no way. Darn.

And I think the best, most likely scenario

is for me to go--

Oh, there's a huckleberry.

Oh, my God, there's, like, this one--

Look at that.

You see it?

One lone huckleberry...

What I'm gonna do...

I'm gonna eat it.

♪

There it is.

Oh, my God, it's so sweet and delicious.

Mmm. That right there was worth it.

[laughs]

Oh, it's so good.

Wow. It's weird I only found one.

Usually I find tons, and I get this whole big thing of them.

♪

There's nothing here.

I don't want to waste any more energy and calories.

So I think instead I'll slowly meander back to camp.

♪

This is bad.

I'm not getting fish anymore,

and my green sources have really dried up.

Just one huckleberry?

Everything's gone.

I need to find food out here.

♪

[geese honking]

- I think about my kids all the time.

If I don't keep myself busy, my mind wanders back to them.

It's been difficult.

I've got some projects I need to work on today--

make some pitch glue,

'cause I'm out of that completely.

There are things that I can do

to make my life better out here,

and I have to concentrate on doing those things every day

and not get bogged down

thinking about things back home.

This is solid pitch.

This is like finding the mother lode of gold.

Look at this.

This is an entire chunk of spruce resin right here,

and there's more of it.

There's got to be close to a pound of this stuff in here.

What a find.

What an amazing find, to have a wet-weather fire resource

like that just fall into your lap.

And I'm anticipating a lot more rain

for the rest of the time I'm here.

♪

I'm gonna use this shell to melt the pitch in the coals,

and then with the shredded cedar,

I can throw that in there and mix it all around

and make more firelighter.

I really, really, really try not to dwell

on the negatives of being here.

That just tears you to pieces.

Yeah, it's cold, and it's wet, and it's lonely.

Add in hungry...

I just have to suck it up

and deal with what's going on today

and make tomorrow a better day.

Now today I made tomorrow a better day

with this gigantic abundance of pitch,

and tomorrow I'm gonna make the next day a better day.

That's enough firelighter for weeks.

♪

[ice pattering]

A lot of sleeping here, man.

It's just unpleasant out, and there's nothing to do.

Wasting the day away.

[pattering continues]

♪

Well, one good thing about today is it looks like

my Paiute Deadfall has been sprung.

Let's check out and see if there's anything in it.

Oh, look at that--

little mousie, squished...

flat as a pancake, baby.

I got to clean this boy up.

Oh, yeah.

A mouse--back home, I wouldn't have eaten it.

Here, it's like, "Skin that sucker up.

I'll slurp that sucker like a damn popsicle."

I'm just like, "Give me that sucker. Rawr."

And believe me, I've been looking at the slugs too.

It's just, I don't know-- some of them have,

like, brain-eating parasites or some crap.

I don't need that.

I don't have much of a brain anyway.

I don't need something in there living with me.

Hell, I'd have more voices

than what I'd know what to do with, then.

Little parasites talking back and forth...

chowing on my brain.

♪

This frickin' place is getting old, man.

It's getting really old.

♪ How much longer do Ie to do this? ♪

[sniffs]

♪ How much longer do I have to stay out here? ♪

Next time I do this, I'm gonna request a sunny spot,

preferably with a lot of sand

and drinks with umbrellas in them.

Screw this hardship stuff.

♪ I am done with this

♪ Done with this

[dramatic music]

♪

[geese honking]

- Looked at my gill net, and there's nothing in it.

♪

The frost is here,

and my food sources have really dried up.

All right, limpet time.

Hoo-hoo.

It's harder to live off just limpets

than it is off of fish.

It's just less protein. You have to gather a lot more.

I'm feeling the changes in my body,

and I'm definitely getting weaker with less food

and therefore less energy expenditure

to try and make sure I conserve those calories.

All right, that's done.

So I'm not feeling lonely,

but I definitely am missing my family a lot.

I think the trigger was Quinn's birthday.

Not like I haven't been missing them the whole time,

but I'm really starting to miss them more.

♪

I'm still balancing really wanting to be home

with my kids

and kind of fulfilling what I wanted to do here.

You know, wanting to do this so they'll be proud

and wanting to do this for myself

and show that I can do this, even with MS.

And I try to compartmentalize and just be here, you know,

instead of thinking of home all the time.

But it's getting harder to do that.

It definitely is.

I am thinking about when that time might come,

when I feel like I've accomplished

what I wanted to accomplish.

When it's that time, the balance switches,

and I just really need to go home.

♪

[fire crackling]

♪

I'm so torn.

♪

- It's day 56, if I'm not mistaken,

and a bit of a special day today.

In season one, this would've been the last day.

Alan was out.

So, if this was season one, what that would mean

is that I would get to see my love today.

She would come here, and...

and we could get out of here together,

but this being season two,

I'm guessing it'll still go on for a while.

Right now I'm going to go out on the kayak

for a little bit.

♪

56 days--

I wonder how much longer.

I don't mind being out here.

The cares of bush life and all that,

making do by yourself--

I know how to handle all that, but, uh...

I am somehow gaining such a tremendous,

deep appreciation for my wife.

I just miss her something fierce.

So many things I want to say to her,

and I can't.

Can't call her, can't talk to her.

There's scarcely a minute that goes by

without thinking how good I have it at home

and how blessed I am with the partner I have,

which, of course, makes it harder.

It would be so easy to just make the call

and be back with Shauna tomorrow.

There is a real temptation here

to leave just to be with my wife.

I came out here to prove to the world

what skills I have and what I can do and all that.

I'm satisfied with what I've done

and what I've learned out here.

Sure, the big prize can help my family out--

makes things better for us in the future,

makes things easier, but I've, uh...

I have put it into perspective.

I realize more and more clearly every day...

I already won the big prize,

and the big prize is my wife, Shauna.

And getting out of here

and going back to her arms

is a big enough prize for me right n

♪

That button to go back home is so tempting.

♪

- I feel sad leaving this place.

[rain pattering]

♪

[sniffles, sighs]

[laughs] Wow. I did it.

I'm leaving this place. [sniffles]

♪

Hey.

- Wow. I'm so emotional leaving here.

[laughs, sniffles]

Mixed.

I need to get home to my kids, you know?

Been over two months I've been away from them,

and I know they need me.

I just feel it in my gut, you know,

but I love it here.

I feel like I could just stay. [laughs]

I know, maybe most people leave, and they're like, "Ahh."

But I'm happy here.

Living out in nature-- it's kind of my thing.

So it's been great.

Just so grateful for having had this opportunity,

but, you know, the pull of children...

You only get one chance at raising your kids,

and I just feel them tugging at me.

♪

This has been my home for two months.

I built a home here. It feels like home.

The wildlife is used to me.

The birds don't alarm call when I walk through

because they know that I'm part of the ecosystem here.

I have this interaction with these bears

where we'll all be out foraging together

and we're all comfortable with each other.

I'm not just out here. I'm out here living with MS.

I happen to have MS, but it doesn't have me.

I feel my healthiest when I am out in nature.

This is the best possible place that I could be.

I will always carry this place in my heart.

And I'm just so grateful for this experience.

♪

But in the end, I found out what my limit was,

and that was love--

love for my children,

They need their mom back.

♪

- Getting close to tap day. It's close!

- My whole gill net is out. Oh, boy.

It's gonna be really hard to survive without it.

Oh, dinner!

The resources are really thinning out now.

No hope in sight for a good meal.

- The isolation is getting to me.

I am lonely. I need a hug.

Please help me! [sobbing]