Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪

- I love these little kinds of projects.

They give me something to do to keep my mind occupied.

- When I lost my ferro rod, I wanted to go home.

I need to get my head back in the game

if I'm gonna do this.

- A lot of bear activity right here, and, you know,

predators aren't something to trifle with.

Caught my first fish in my net.

Dinner tonight, man.

Whoo!

- Who are you when everything's been stripped away?

[bleep].

[yelping]

- It's scary out here in these woods.

- I have not had a serious meal in a week.

- If I can't get a fire, then I can't stay here.

- It's always in the back of your mind,

"Well, I could tap out."

- Putting up with this filming [bleep]?

- Running into a predator, it's not an if.

It's a when.

Get the hell out of here.

I see you. Get out of here!

- I'm living a hand-to-mouth existence.

Yes! Ah!

- $500,000 is a lot of money.

- It's just gonna keep getting harder.

- It's not the world that needs to change.

It's me that needs to change.

[moans]

♪

[birds chirping]

♪

Hey, so I'm traveling

and exploring the, uh,

the knoll behind and up above my camp.

So check it out.

Just right down

from the kitchen area,

oh, about 50 feet away.

♪

And there is this root

that's turned right here

and covered with soft moss,

And...

♪

There is a hole

in there.

Man, this is the perfect toilet.

[chuckles]

I can take care of business

right here,

and I'm just gonna kind of pan around

so you can see

where I've been hiking.

So I'm just gonna explore around.

If I see anything interesting, I'll show you.

♪

So just all along the shore here,

I anticipate finding stuff.

♪

I'm hoping to find a fair number

of plastic bottles

that I can use to store the food

that I--that I'm hoping ofI can preserve.s

Catch some fish.

♪

As I'm standing here,

I see something.

Look at that.

That's a gigantic plastic container.

Man, this is just awesome.

I mean, it's context, right?

I would otherwise be disappointed

to find this kind of trash

on a beautiful beach like this,

but because I'm surviving alone

on North Vancouver Island,

oh, man, this is a score.

I am really excited about this.

♪

So I--I'm thinking

of making a boat out of the black tub,

and if the weather will allow me,

you know, tying some outriggers to it

to help stabilize it.

♪

I can go places

with the boat that would take me

a much longer time by foot.

I could put the gill net out in deeper water

and perhaps catch salmon.

♪

With a little more effort,

I can access better fishing,

and I have no doubt in my mind

that I could stay out here

for a very long time.

♪

All right, so tying the outriggers to the tub,

you've got to tie it underneath, so the--

the black container won't slip all the way through.

It's gonna be a little bit

diagonally unstable,

but the container will help hold that some.

Now it's just a matter of going out on the water.

♪

Oh, man.

That could be epic.

♪

I want to succeed at this.

I don't want to fail at this,

because if I end up

in the drink and swimming,

if I get hypothermic,

can't start a fire,

can't get warmed up in my bag,

and I have to call in for help,

then this could be the end of my journey.

♪

Here we go.

♪

Here we go.

Yeah.

♪

[grunts]

♪

Hey-hey.

Look at this.

Oh, yeah.

She is floating!

Ahoy, matey!

Look at this boat float, would ya?

Whoa-ho-ho!

Man, this thing feels as solid as land.

♪

Whoo-hoo!

Holy moly.

♪

Yeah, yeah, and it's super solid.

Whoo-hoo!

I could dance.

Oh, I could dance.

Whoo-hoo!

All right.

This is what being a captain

is all about, matey.

Yeah.

♪

Wow.

This is just fabulous.

Golden.

Absolutely solid, stellar,

golden.

Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus.

[waves crashing]

♪

So story of my life out here

on this accursed island.

[chuckles]

I'm waiting for the tide to go down.

It's--it's dark,

but I still got to wait

probably at least anotheur

before I can start checking my sets.

♪

Seems to be going down later and later

every day.

♪

The boredom.

Absolute, sheer boredom.

♪

I just kind of stand and dwell on thoughts.

♪

Funny how there's little things in life

can be so stressful.

I have a mouse in my house.

That stupid mouse, like, follows me

when I come down here.

I'll turn around, and there's the frickin' mouse,

like, darting in and out of rocks.

Oh, I would be so mad if he got into my sleeping bag.

They are such destructive little...things,

so that's what I'm concerned about.

[water gurgling]

♪

Looks like I got one here.

♪

And I don't want him...

getting away.

You mother[bleep].

Sorry about that.

[metal scraping]

What the hell?

[metal scraping]

[kindling sparks]

You're [bleep] me.

This [bleep] [bleep]'s all wet.

[bleep] damn it.

Never had so much [bleep] problems

lighting a [bleep] fire

in a [bleep] damn place

in my entire [bleep] life.

♪

Oh, I'm so [bleep] ready for bed.

[bleep] [bleep] [bleep]

you mother[bleep] piece of [bleep].

[bleep] you, you [bleep]sucker.

You [bleep] piece of [bleep].

♪

Dinner in a little bit.

[thud]

[groans]

[dramatic music]

♪

I caught one fish

in the new gill net location.

Very happy to have had

a good, good, solid meal,

but in an ideal world,

it would be, like, in--

in real deep water, where I have to set it

at retrieve it from a boat.

In that valley, there must be a good-sized stream,

and in that good-sized stream,

there must be a good-sized salmon run.

♪

Some food is coming in,

but...

the people that lived here,

they depended on a stable food supply,

and that was the salmon,

and I'm still on time to catch the last migration,

so that's where my mind goes.

That's where my thoughts are right now.

♪

[saw whooshing]

If I hit the salmon run full on,

it would make a huge, huge difference

in my situation.

[sawing continues]

Souess the sooner I get to it, the better.

♪

This week, I've gone on long walks.

I've picked up anything that was useful to me,

any bit of cordage, any bit of lumber.

So I think today, I'm gonna start with that.

I think there is enough lumber

to make the gunwales and the main stringer

for a boat.

♪

I'm abandoning survival

and trying to go into wilderness living.

Survival per se is how you stay out of trouble

until you go back to civilization,

but what I teach and what I do

is wilderness living,

trying to actually live in the place.

I have to maximize

what the land and the sea has,

and the number one way to maximize it

is having a boat.

That's good.

Now I can start looking into the crosspieces it gets,

and preparing the holes for the ribs.

♪

I'm pressed for time.

I wonder if I'm gonna reach the creek,

and a bunch of salmon carcasses is just laying there,

'cause the run just went past me

while I was here building a boat.

And I hope not.

Just--just put up a couple of crosspieces

to support the gunwales.

[wood cracks]

Oh.

[groans]

♪

Now you break, you son of a gun.

♪

[groans]

This was a big setback in my plans,

and I basically am back to starting out

with that boat,

and I'm still days away from having this completed.

If I miss the salmon run because I'm too late,

oh, that would be very, very bad.

I wish I didn't have that time-pressure thing going.

[sighs]

♪

- I had an interesting night last night.

A mouse has completely destroyed my gear.

♪

Right next to my head,

he was chewing on my pack all night,

and every time I turned on my head lamp,

he'd scurry away.

I swear to God, if that thing

fricking chews my sleeping bag up,

I'm blowing this place up.

I'm gonna find some way

to blow the whole fricking place up.

[birds chirping]

My greatest struggle is emotional.

What's really throwing me for a loop

is how mental this is.

I did not expect this to be this big a mental challenge.

[birds chirping]

The in a 100-foot area,uded

with walls sloped down

on side of me...

Quite frankly, it gets quite depressing.

[sighs]

And now I have a mouse in my house.

I mean, this place is just really starting to get to me.

[birds chirping]

[sighs]

♪

[chirping continues]

♪

[fire crackling]

♪

I've been trying to formulate a thought,

to express it...

♪

Without breaking down and crying.

♪

And I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to relay it

without crying.

♪

This--so my issue...

One of the reasons why I wanted to come out here

was to try and think

on...

the new aspect of my life.

In other words, after kids.

A person can endure a lot of things

for someone that they love.

Trying to endure...

those same things just purely for yourself

is not as easy.

I'm an electrician.

You might think it's not that hard,

but it's a lot of repetitive tasks.

I know everybody has to go to work.

I know it's just the way of the world,

but for me to think...

that I have another 15 years...

of basically wasting my life,

waiting for the weekends.

Just the mundane torture of it all.

♪

I'm gonna have to make a change.

It's not the world that needs to change.

It's me that needs to change.

My--my outlook on life.

♪

This place, I know the rules.

It's life outside of this place

that makes me want to cry.

♪

♪

- All right, I'll stand in front of the camera.

Move it down.

I'm still here

and doing well,

so keeping myself warm,

making sure I have enough food.

I think I've figured out black bear behavior.

It's been a learning experience.

It's a sort of game, like, the bears and I

forage on the beach together at the same time.

They stay on their side of the river

and don't come over here.

Plenty, plenty of fish.

I love that I'm part of the ecosystem here.

I feel at home here.

It's another good day.

I'm gonna go check my gill net.

That Chinook run should be coming in really soon,

and that's a great source of food.

♪ Watching for bears

'cause they like it right here.

Oh, I think we're gonna coexist just fine.

♪ Looks like we got something ♪

We got some salmon.

Oh! And it is alive and kicking.

You need to cut its backbone, is the main thing.

♪

Hold it really firmly,

and cut through its spinal cord in there.

♪

Kind of cool: the heart is still--

it's still beating.

Oh, it just was.

There we go.

See that?

♪

[French accent] Now for ze body.

Oh, boy.

Feeling very lucky today.

This amazing, fresh salmon.

Here's the body.

[grunts] Put it here to fillet.

How you doing over there, bears?

How's your river?

They got their own river where the salmon are spawning.

We're all eating well,

so that works out.

[laughs]

All right, well.

Time to get these puppies filleted

and cleaned.

It's really important to me that if I take a life,

that I use every single bit of that animal.

It's respectful,

and I want to be respectful of this sacred land

that we're being allowed to use.

Those reflexes always get me

when they move when you're cutting it.

Voila.

Better than your best restaurant.

That's dinner, lunch, breakfast.

Dinner, lunch, breakfast.

Oh, yeah, a whole lot of food.

♪

[water gushing]

♪

So last night,

a mouse completely destroyed my gear.

He was chewing on my pack all night.

I really want to give it a concerted effort

to try and find a new location.

♪

It's up to me. It's not up to anybody else.

It's up to me to make a change.

That's the plan for today.

I'm getting the hell out of here.

Let this damn mouse have this frickin' place.

♪

So I've lost some weight.

I need another couple of notches on my belt.

Let's get this hip belt situated.Tightened down.

♪

All right.

Time to head out.

I'm pretty nervous about leaving a known entity,

but it's either try and survive where I'm at,

and potentially tap quite early,

or it's go for broke

and really try to get out here

and try to find a good location

and live out here.

♪

I've done three or four little walks,

and the only other place I haven't gone

is more south,

so it's opened up a little bit.

I'm following this creek bed.

[exhales]

But it's thick back here.

I see a little bit of daylight up there

through the trees.

I'm hoping that that pans out to a--

I don't know.

It's got to empty into the ocean sometime.

♪

Oh, this is killing my knees.

[groans]

I've got old man knees.

[groans]

Oh, my pack's caught.

Damn you.

♪

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, you son of a...

♪

God.

♪

[groans]

♪

Damn it.

♪

All right, well, I'm getting excited.

I can hear the ocean.

♪

[laughing]

Oh, my God.

♪

To get out of that confining space of--

to be able to see this, man,

and to expend the calories and stuff

and not knhere I was gonna end up

or what was gonna happen.

Let's get down here and see

what the heck's going on.

♪

I can just tell already

that this is gonna be loads better,

loads better.

Look--there's dead wood right there.

Look at all the kindling and stuff like that right here.

♪

And this place is fricking chanterelle heaven.

♪

Oh, my God.

♪

Just the emotional uplifting

this is gonna give me

is huge.

♪

Look at this.

There's sunlight on the rocks.

I could be sunbathing.

♪

It's frickin' awesome.

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

This was the best move.

Not just move, literally.

This was the best move I've done

this entire journey.

All right, well, I haven't even been here ten minutes,

and what did I find?

Rope.

Cordage.

I'm gonna split this rope down,

and right back behind me

is where I'm gonna make my shelter.

♪

God, that was a craphole I left.

This place is so much better.

There's a lot of man-made resources.

I got a whole nother thing of this cordage,

and that was just what I found on the beach

in the first five minutes I was here.

I've got to get shelter set up.

I've got stuff in my backpack

that can't get wet.

I cannot afford to get my sleeping bag wet.

I just need to hurry up and set up a shelter,

and then I'll go back for my other crap

that I left.

I'm just gonna make a simple A-frame.

I'm really partial to the plow point,

but the problem with the plow point

in this country is it rains so much

that the rain leaks down the pole,

and it's such strong winds

that I don't want to put that much pressure on the tarp

and not have a ridgepole.

I'm so happy to be rid of that frickin' mouse.

Little destructive piece of crap.

I'm gonna make it my life's mission

to kill every frickin' mouse I possibly can.

That's my new mission going forward, yes.

We could have lived in harmony. I wasn't hungry.

I was gonna leave him alone,

but oh, no.

Him and his kind are gonna feel my wrat♪ rom now on.

[saw cutting]

♪

I really want this to be a good, strong shelter,

so...

Limbs.

I need two of 'em,

and they need to be long.

♪

I've never made one like this before.

♪

It's always just a [bleep] inch too short.

[bleep] damn it.

♪

[bleep]

Once again, [bleep] four inches too short.

Oh, you [bleep]-loving mother[bleep].

Piece of [bleep].

[bleep] [bleep] damn it.

Cut another [bleep] ten-[bleep] tree down.

I can definitely feel a lot of mood swings.

Um, I get frustrated pretty easy.

I get angry pretty easy.

♪

But I usually come back

and try and solve the problem

semi-rationally.

♪

♪

Feel like everything's okay now.

♪

I mean, maybe I'll be plagued by predators.

I don't know, but...

♪

I still think it's better.

It's way, way better

than where I came from.

♪

[rain falling]

♪

[fire crackling]

[rain pattering on tarp]

Ugly faces.

Me and my sister used to make ugly faces

in the mirror.

[chuckles]

♪

All right, so I'm out

checking all my fishing lines.

♪

Finding some food is a priority.

The number one priority.

♪

That is a really interesting fish.

I have no idea...

what it could possibly be.

It is so beautiful, though.

[laughing]

Two lines, two fish.

[laughing] Oh, yeah.

Oh.

It's amazing.

This is working.

[laughing]

[exclaims]

That I've been catching fish

every day for the last three days,

after going two weeks without catching anything.

That's--that's so huge.

♪

Good old-fashioned regular fishing.

A bobber,

a little sinker,

a hook,

and some bait.

♪

Another day where I'll have a bit of meat.

I am so grateful for you.

I'm really happy with what I have accomplished so far.

♪

But I just, like, am craving

human companionship

even more than food.

♪

I wish I could talk to my dad, actually.

♪

He'd do good out here.

He'd do real good.

♪

It's really hard being alone.

I've never been alone for this long before.

♪

You just, like, crave companionship,

someone to talk to.

♪

It definitely takes its toll on you.

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

- This morning, I walked down to the water

and had this amazing experience, just...

this bald eagle came from the other side of the bay,

and it circled the bay

and then flew right in front of me.

It was amazing.

I do wonder how my kids are doing.

You know, I try to compartmentalize.

Try to just think about being here,

'cause this is where I am, but...

I think if you have any issues

kind of going on in your head,

being alone for long periods of time--

I think that's when things crop up for people.

♪

[crying] I really miss my--

my stepson.

Beau died two years ago.

He drowned in San Francisco.

[crying]

He went swimming, and...

he was missing for a long time,

and I spent a month looking for him

until we figured out what happened to him.

He died on the day that I--

I was in Arizona.

When I got the call,

I was graduating with my doctorate, and...

we texted back and forth a lot.

That was an easy medium when he moved,

and I texted him a picture of me

in my, like, cap and gown,

saying, "I did it. I'm finally a doctor now.

I finally did it."

And I think I was probably,

like, 30 minutes too late.

I remember thinking, "That's weird.

He didn't write right back,"

'cause he always writes right back.

And I just sometimes think, like,

what if I'd texted an hour earlier, you know?

I don't know

if anything I could have done

made any difference.

♪

[sniffles] Ohh.

♪

I know his brothers feel it every day.

I feel it every day.

I'm sure his dad does too.

I'm sure his grandparents do.

♪

My God, I miss him every day, so much.

It's so hard.

[breathes deeply]

But I look for the beauty in things,

and I look for joy in life,

and I have other kids

that I need to take care of, you know?

[somber chuckle]

♪

But it'll never mean I don't miss Beau

every day.

♪

[exhales]

Wow.

♪

I have to just think of him

as being there with me and cheering me on.

It's all I can do. I mean...

He'd be proud of me here.

I know he would.

He'd be stoked. He'd think this was cool.

[chuckles]

♪

- I've been in a pretty funky headspace all day,

just getting the blood flowing a little bit,

keeping myself occupied.

[sawing]

I'm happy with the cabin so far.

It's not done yet, but it's getting there.

I'm gonna start reinforcing the walls.

Put in a post at the very end.

This one I did a couple of more,

'cause I noticed that this wall

was leaning a little bit.

That should definitely secure it,

at least for the duration that I will be here.

♪

Now, what I do here

is just tie the posts together.

♪

It's like there's a party going on in here all the time.

♪

But I'm the-- I'm the only one here.

I'm the only one-- I was the only one invited,

is what it was.

Make myself a little-- a little mattress.

♪

I'm set up to be here

for a long time.

♪

I have walls around me.

I have, you know, an entire ocean

full of fish

that I have been catching.

I mean, you could have the best life in the world,

but if you're alone, then what's the point, really?

What's the point of living if you're just doing it alone?

All right, well, let's see how she does.

♪

[sighs]

♪

Luxury.

♪

What am I doing out here?

Besides building [bleep].

♪

You know, you build, and you build, and you build,

and when you run out of things,

then you're just sort of left here

without anything to do.

♪

I think if the world ended,

or if society as we know it

just, like, crashed...

♪

and I were, like,

the last survivor...

I wouldn't do it.

There'd be no point.

♪

I knew it was gonna be hard,

being alone.

I guess I just didn't know

it was gonna be this hard.

♪

There's times when I, like--

every fiber of my being is just saying, like,

that I want to go home.

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

Hello, ocean.

It is good to see you again.

I got a big decision to make.

It is nice that you haven't left,

=or else I'd be in big trouble.

The biggest question I have is just

"What am I doing this for?"

♪

It's impossible to describe what this is like

until someone comes out here and does it.

♪

It's just so incredibly beautiful here.

It's just--it's mind-blowing.

It's like, it's not something that you just get used to.

♪

But I don't know if there's more

that I can get from this place, you know?

I don't know if there's more that this place has

to offer me.

♪

I mean, don't get me wrong.

Like, I love living this way.

I--I actually want to live this way.

♪

But there's no way I could do it alone.

♪

There's been a lot of times

I've felt like I wanted to go home.

But--but I wasn't ready.

♪

I just want to leave on a high note.

♪

I want to leave...

♪

still loving this.

♪

I was hoping this would be an easier decision.

♪

- I just can't get enough to eat.

Where my fishing hole was, I can see these waves--

bam--just crashing against it.

Not very happy about it.

I just woke up.

My sleeping bag is soaked.

It looks like it's groundwater, seeped through.

This is [bleep] ridiculous.

Another day of boatbuilding.

I sure hope to have her in the water in time

to get to that salmon run.

- A sweat lodge is one of those things

that feeds you spiritually.

I think it'll probably help me make a decision.

I have to figure out how long I want to stay here.

♪