Original subtitles

- I still can't believe this is happening.

- Oh, it's happening.

- I used to love the Sacramento Children's Theater

when I was a kid.

If only little theater dork Sarah

knew that one day they would be putting on her play,

"Unsung Sheroes."

What?

- Usually you say the full title.

- "A Musical Celebration

of Groundbreaking Women from Sacagawea to Sotomayor"?

We don't have time for that.

Oh, did I pack Greta Thunberg's raincoat?

- Yes. It's with Joan Jett's leather pants

and Jane Fonda's leotard. - Okay.

Ready?

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Okay.

- I'm gonna miss you. - I'm gonna miss you.

But I'll be back for Christmas.

Maybe sooner if staying with my parents

drives me absolutely insane.

- Well, you're welcome to be here instead

when my parents come visit.

- I'm actually bummed I'm gonna miss them.

- That's because they're on their best behaviour

when you're around.

Otherwise, they never stop arguing.

They are the only people

to get kicked out of a Jimmy Buffett concert

for literally fighting over a cheeseburger in paradise.

- Okay.

Do you want me to cancel?

Because if you do, just say the word and I will.

- No, I'll be fine.

- Okay, great.

Because you know, I got time off from work

and packing all this stuff was just a lot.

Aw!

- Oh, we didn't pack Dolly Parton's wig.

- Oh, that's okay. I'll just wear it in the car.

Pulling it off?

- Yeah.

- Hear me, hear me.

- Actually, it's "ye."

- Who the hell is ye?

- You know, yeah, just keep going.

- A toast to Tom Hayworth

on making "The New York Times" Best Seller list.

- Ah, it's not that big a deal. It's only number nine.

- It is a big deal.

- I know. It's a huge deal!

Number nine, baby! Whoo!

I did it!

It is so strange knowing

how we're gonna pay the mortgage this month.

What is this odd sensation that I'm having?

- Could it be that you're happy?

- Is this what that feels like?

- Hey, are you around this week?

I could use some backup with my parents.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I know they're a handful.

I'm just really busy at work.

- Oh, did you get a design job?

- I wish. Dumb law stuff at the firm.

I turned down a chance to design a billiard room.

- Like in "Clue"?

- Yes. Imagine all the murders.

- Well, you could always swing by my slice of paradise.

I think your parents are cool.

And Jimmy is my second-favourite Buffett.

Behind Warren, of course. - Thanks.

But are you sure?

Now that they're retired, they have more energy to argue.

- Denise, come on. We're practically family.

I dated your sister.

I could have been your brother-in-law.

- You are my brother-in-law.

- Thanks. That's really sweet of you to say.

- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey! ♪

- Huh.

Honey, did Connor give the twins cash again?

Oh, this is sex cash.

- Remember?

We said if you made it to the Best Sellers list,

we'd have sex on the stacks of cash

like a couple of bank robbers?

- And you agreed because you assumed it would never happen?

- Well, it was either this or the other thing,

and I am never doing the other thing.

It's gonna be so much better than last year

when we had to do this on a single paycheque.

- I felt so dirty cashing it. - Did you?

- Tom? - Mm-hmm?

- You okay? - Yeah, I'm okay.

- You thinking about our getaway driver who got caught?

Don't worry.

It just means more dinero for us.

Seeing all this cash laid out here like this...

- Yeah, I know. It's a little gross.

I really was hoping they'd give us new dollar bills, but...

Maybe we could put a sheet on top.

- No.

Well, yeah, probably just... This is very gross.

But...

What if this is it for me? - Oh, God.

- No, I mean, what if my career has reached its peak?

- And... 11 hours.

- What?

- You managed 11 hours of happiness

before you started to worry.

- I'm not worried, I'm... Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, what if I'm worried?

- Tom, you got on the Best Sellers list.

That is a big deal! You should be ecstatic!

I'm still glowing from redecorating Gretchen's room,

and that was two months ago.

You should do something to savour this moment.

- You mean like see a magic show?

I guess there's this new close-up guy

who's doing some pretty innovative stuff

with cups and balls.

- Or you could grab some of this gross money,

which has sunscreen on it.

Oh, I hope that's sunscreen. - Okay.

- And buy something to celebrate.

- Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna do it.

Right after I see that magic show.

Or no, instead of the magic show.

That's better.

So, uh, should we still...

- I think we need to burn the sheets.

Oh, thank God.

- Mom, Dad,

the constant bickering has to stop.

It's toxic.

No, no, let me finish.

It's infecting your relationship with me

and my kids, okay?

- Oh, just stop it, Jay! - No, you stop it!

Oh, you couldn't take...

- I hope they take it as well as you did.

- Woman, I'm just getting started!

You two aren't even in the apartment and you're already...

Hugging? - Denise!

Your father is so hilarious. He just told me a joke.

It's like I'm living with Steve Harvey.

- Oh, no, no, no, no. He is much funnier.

Oh!

But hey, I do look good in a suit!

- Wow, look at you two, getting along.

- Yeah, yeah, we are just so happy to see you.

- Yes. - And our grandbabies.

Where's Kelvin? Does he have a moustache yet?

And if not, why not?

- They are on their way back from the park.

- Mm. - But we can get you settled.

You two can sleep in my bedroom,

and I will sleep on the couch.

- Ah. - Oh, no need.

We're just gonna stay in the RV.

- What RV?

- After we sold our dental practice,

then we bought an RV.

You might say it's our... - Wait for it.

Molar home.

- I told you. It's like he's Steve Harvey.

I told you! - Oh, no, no, no, no.

Steve RV.

- Uh-uh! You are so bad! - Huh? Huh?

Very bad.

Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We drove it all the way from Tampa Bay.

- You chose to drive cross-country

in a confined space together?

- Oh, RV life is so fun.

It's like we're on a non-stop vacation.

- Mm-hmm.

- Our vacations were the worst. You two always fought.

- Oh, Denise, you're exaggerating.

- We're banned from Spirit Airlines,

and they need customers.

- Hey, honey.

I took your advice on enjoying the fruits of my success,

and I did it.

I actually bought myself something.

- That's great, but I've had a long day.

Could I see your R2-D2

or wearable Hobbit feet or whatever later?

- I got something even better. Come on.

I gotta show you right now. Sorry. Come on.

Ta-da!

- You bought a hot tub?

- I did. I bought a hot tub.

Always wanted one, now I got one.

- I'm surprised.

Hot tub doesn't exactly scream, "Tom."

- Yeah, I know.

But growing up, our next-door neighbours had a hot tub,

and I was always so jealous listening to them

soaking in the tub and popping Frescas.

Always sounded like

they were having such a blast, you know?

So I think they did a lot of hardcore drugs.

All right, you want to take this bad boy out for a spin?

- Hells yeah.

I choose to jacuzz. - Yeah.

- I'm gonna put on my bathing suit!

- I'm gonna pop a Fresca!

Oh, boy.

That's a little spicy.

- Ultimately, it's about taking responsibility,

about accepting the blame for your actions.

Until you do that, you'll always be adrift.

Anyways, that's what I think "Margaritaville" is about.

Mm.

- That's a great interpretation, Connor.

- It is so nice to see people your age

getting into real music.

- Yeah.

- Look, look... what are your thoughts on "Jamaica Mistaica"?

- I think we've covered enough of Jimmy Buffett's catalogue.

- Can I tell you the chicken is just amazing?

I have eaten every bite.

- Oh, here, baby. You can have a piece of mine.

- Oh, thank you. - Absolutely.

- Here you go there. - Mm.

- You know, there's more in the kitchen,

so you can just stop that.

Oh, you got me.

And Connor,

your place is even nicer than JoJo said.

- How is JoJo, by the way? - Oh, she is great.

You know she's gonna be on "Influencer Lagoon All-Stars"?

- Yeah, think she's got a real shot to win it too,

if she takes down that D'Amelio sister from season...

I mean I watch sports.

I don't watch that kind of stuff.

Oh. Huh.

- You two were such a cute couple.

You seeing anyone now?

- No, but I'm out there. You know, on the apps.

The dating apps.

Kinda like going to a bar, but on your phone.

- We know what apps are.

I mean, we're old, but we're not that old.

- I am just so grateful that

I met Jay the old-fashioned way.

- Her father's horse kicked my car.

Remember that? - That was the day.

That was the day.

- They seem really happy.

- I know.

And I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

- Ay-yi-yi. - Oh, yeah.

It's nice, right? - Mm!

- Actually, it's a little loud.

There we go.

- This might be the best idea you have ever had.

- Well, you're the one who talked me into

spending it myself, so.

- That's right.

This is the best idea I've ever had.

Mm! Feel that heat. 104 on the dot.

- It's perfect. - Fantastic.

It's a little chlorine-y, though, right?

- No, I think it smells fine. - Okay, cool.

Water's a little hard, though. - What? Hard?

- No, I'm just saying we should probably use a softener.

It's like a pH thing.

- The water feels like water.

Maybe you should just, you know, enjoy it.

- Totally.

- Let the hot tub take the wheel. - Yeah.

What is it? - What?

Nothing, nothing.

Just the electric meter's going crazy.

Didn't really think about what this'll do to our power bill.

- Okay, let's swap places. - Okay.

How's this gonna help lower our bill?

- It'll prevent you from seeing the meter.

- Right.

Well, this is perfect.

Whoo! Tub life!

- Mm.

- Okay, I can see into Mrs. Kim's house.

And if I can see her, then she can see me.

- Mrs. Kim is not looking at you.

Can you please focus? We're in a hot tub!

I'm wearing a swimsuit. Do the math.

- Oh. Yeah, well...

math was always one of my favourite subjects.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

- Tom! - Got a dead bee.

Got a dead bee in here. Don't worry, I got it.

Whoa, I don't got it! It's alive.

It is very much alive!

We might be dealing with a murder hornet here.

I'm gonna go get a knife.

- Right behind you.

Who thought of that?

- Okay, enough.

You two are usually at each other's throats

and now you're all sweet and affectionate.

It's too much. What is going on?

- Well, if you must know...

your father and I have been seeing a couples therapist.

- We're learning to listen to each other's needs

and be more flexible. - Mm-hmm.

- Couples therapy.

Sarah's gonna be so mad she missed this.

- Judith... That's our therapist...

- Yeah.

- She taught us all about savouring life.

Speaking of,

there is a gorgeous bridge out there

that I would love to stare at with a gorgeous lady.

- Survey says you're talking about me.

Come on.

- Oh, yes. Thank you.

- Watch yourself. - Okay. Thank you.

- Maybe they really have changed.

- Yeah, cool, whatever.

Hey, you really need to see this profile.

- Oh, Connor, I don't want to see your dating apps.

Let me guess.

She likes "The Office" and is pretty random.

- I was swiping through new singles in the area and...

I came across this.

- Huh. That thirsty lady looks like my mom.

Oh, that thirsty lady is my mom.

- Yeah. I don't have an age setting on right now.

I'm trying out some new stuff.

- Oh, hey. There you are.

How was your walk?

- Great. Invigorating.

- Okay, well, the kids are already asleep

and your father's having a land shower.

- A what?

- That's what we "RV people" call

a shower inside of a building.

Hey, are you okay?

You were awfully quiet on the drive back from Connor's.

- I know what's going on. You're cheating on Dad.

- Cheating? No.

- Yes. I saw you on Connor's app.

He has no age setting 'cause he's trying some stuff.

- Wait. It's not what you think.

- Oh, so I didn't see

a profile pic of you suggestively eating ice cream

in a sweater I bought you for Christmas?

- Uh, okay, well, it's partly what you think.

- Ugh! - But... oh.

- I need a drink.

- Hey, hey, hey, Tammy.

I got a match that says she's DTF.

Now look, I also Desire True Friendship,

but does that mean that she doesn't wanna...

- No, no, no, no, no. Jay, Jay.

- What is happening?

- Oh, h-hey, Denise.

How was your walk?

- Honey, this is what I'm trying to tell you.

No one is cheating.

- Your father and I are...

in an open relationship.

- Oh.

It's just an open relationship.

Yes.

Okay, that's great.

- Denise, have some class.

- Okay, all right.

So you're in an open relationship.

So you're just, like, what, doing it with other couples?

No, no, no, of course not.

That's swinging.

That's a common mistake.

- Look, look, look, Denise.

Your mother and I, we are very much in love.

- Mm-hmm.

- But we're also on individual journeys of sexual exploration.

- So when you said that

you were listening to each other's needs,

you're talking about those needs?

- And we've met some very lovely people.

It's not all sexual. - No, no.

Well, it's mostly sexual.

- It is mostly sexual.

- Please stop saying sexual.

- Okay, fine. Sensual.

- Oh, that's so much worse.

- Denise, we really didn't want you to find out this way.

- Or at all.

- I'm gonna go take a land shower.

- Okay.

- Rule 12,

you must remain seated in the hot tub at all times.

Rule 13, no fingers in the jets.

Rule 14, no splashing.

Rule 15, no laughing.

It could be mistaken for screaming,

which might cause alarm.

Now, has anyone had diarrhoea in the past couple weeks?

- Should we just watch a movie? - Yeah.

- Okay, but you guys are missing out on rule 16.

Rule 16 is have fun!

- Oh, excuse me. Can you grab me one, sweetie?

Left me hanging.

- Wow.

- Sure seems like we're in hot water with her.

- Jay, now is not the time for Steve Harvey.

- You're right.

- Although that was clever. - Thank you.

- Look at them in there. Disgusting.

- Okay, emotions are obviously high.

Why don't we try one of your calming techniques?

Just close your eyes.

Now, imagine you're holding an energy gem in one hand

and, like, a moonshine incense crystal in the other.

- Are you making up crystals?

- It's not my area of expertise.

- I'm going inside.

- I have never seen her this upset.

I should go talk to her. - No. I'll do it.

I'm the one who swiped on her mom.

- Mm.

- Hey, Jay, Tamara.

How those jets treating you?

- Oh, perfect!

- Think I should alert them to the risk of filter fungus?

- Tom, it's a two-day-old hot tub.

- Let's keep the hands above water, guys.

Just for... for fun. Keep 'em up there!

- Why can't they be like normal old folk?

They should be telling people to get off their lawn,

not getting it on with people on their lawn.

- Are they doing that?

- Probably. I don't know.

- I know this must be rough,

but you were dreading them coming here

because of how much they bicker.

Now they're getting along. Isn't that better?

- They are driving a sex barge across the country.

- I get it, okay?

No one wants to picture their parents doing it,

smashing off the side of Route 66,

up against the St. Louis Arch,

looking over Niagara Falls,

maybe using the energy from the Red Rocks to...

really get after...

- Connor.

- Yeah, sorry. I kinda want an RV.

But the point is they're not actually hurting anyone.

Unlike when my dad straight up cheated on my mom

or when Emily cheated on me.

They're just being honest with each other

and it's making them happy.

Maybe it's possible something can be weird and pretty gross,

but also not wrong?

- I hate that you're giving me a lot to think about.

- I know, right? Not usually my thing.

Hey, could you actually text Sarah

and tell her I'm being super smart and sensitive?

- You know what? I'm getting in there.

- Good for you, honey. You deserve to enjoy it.

- No, I want to make sure

their suits don't get sucked into the intake.

Jay's wearing some baggy trunks.

- Okay, Tom.

The idea was to get something that would make you happy,

and I'm feeling like that is not this.

- What are you talking about? I love the hot tub.

It's so relaxing.

Don't I look relaxed?

- Okay, fine.

I've been a stress case since we bought this thing.

What do you want me to say? I'm miserable.

- So then just return it and get something else.

- Like what?

A car loses half its value once you drive it off the lot,

you get a new computer,

boom, they come out with a better one, and...

I know I'm not cool enough to pull off a banjo.

- There's gotta be something

that you can spend that money on.

- What if there's not?

What if I'm incapable of enjoying myself?

- Massage chair? - They catch fire.

- Hey, I saw the truck from Hot Tub Depot.

- Yup, she's gone.

I don't think that grass is ever growing back.

- Well, I have been thinking

of ways that you could use the money.

There's a wizarding camp.

Don't worry. It's mostly adults.

- No, no, I've... I've given up.

I don't think there's anything

I could buy for myself that'll make me happy.

- Aw, Tom. I'm sorry.

- No, it's okay. I know what I wanna spend the money.

Making you happy.

I want you to quit your job at the firm

and focus on your design business full-time.

- Tom, that's crazy. What?

- What are you talking about? You did the same thing for me.

I wanna take my book money and do that for you.

I mean, that would be amazing,

but the firm is steady work.

The design thing, who knows?

- I do.

You are so talented.

- Tom, I don't know if I could let you do that for me.

- Oh, well, this isn't for you. This is for me.

Yeah, this is totally selfish.

I have this weird thing about

my wife being fulfilled and not miserable.

It's, like... - Mm.

- I don't know, it's kind of my kink.

- Ugh, you sick man.

Thank you.

- See, you, you're my hot tub.

- Mm.

And you are my filter fungus.

That's right.

'Cause you're never getting rid of me.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Mrs. Kim is watching us.

- See, I told you.

- You know what?

Let her. - All right.

- Hey. - Oh, well, hey, baby girl.

- Hey. - Can we talk?

- Of course. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on out.

- Well, we were thinking

the last thing that we want is for you to feel uncomfortable.

- Yeah, so tomorrow,

we're gonna climb inside Susan and get out of here.

Susan's what we call the RV.

- Oh, um, no. You don't have to do that.

I just wanted to apologise for how I reacted.

That was not my best moment.

- Oh, we understand.

It must've come as such a shock.

And looking back,

I would say that my photo with the ice cream

was a little suggestive.

- In mine, I'm holding a banjo.

Which is pretty cool.

- Well, I also just shouldn't have been so judgmental.

- No, no, baby. It's okay.

- No, it's not. You two never judge me.

Even when I came out as gay

or changed from pre-med to folklore and mythology.

- Yeah, that was tough.

- All you ever wanted was for me to be happy,

and I want the same for you.

- Sweetie, we are happy. We are.

- Yeah, and we are so proud of you

and the life that you built here with Sarah.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

- I love you both.

- We love you. - Aw, we love you too.

You know that.

- And I can't believe I'm saying this, but Dad...

- Mm-hmm?

- The banjo's not gonna get you a lot of swipes.

- I tried to tell him.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Hey! - Oh, there he is!

- How was your first official day as a designer?

- Amazing.

No legal briefs, no documents redaction.

I wore sneakers.

- Well, you know what?

If you're happy, then I'm happy.

And I want you to know something.

I'm gonna stop getting in my head so much.

I'm done worrying about every little thing.

- I love hearing that.

Ooh, also

I met this new contractor that I'm gonna partner with.

Come meet him. - What, he's here right now?

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, cool.

What the hell?

- Hey, I'm Santiago.

- Hey, I'm Tom.

- Also known as the man who brought us together.

Oh. I-I wouldn't say that.

- I would. I mean, if it wasn't for you, this...

Wouldn't be happening.

- So what exactly, uh, is happening?

- Thank you so much for making your wife available to me.

Well, she's all yours.

I love that I did this.

So great.

- No ice cream, no candy, no gum in the tub.

In fact, you know what?

No sugary substances at all,

unless you have a medical issue, which...

Yeah, you can come tell me about privately.

What else? Okay, rule number nine.

Guys, no politics, okay?

Weather talk is allowed, even encouraged.

Speaking of which,

you should all be on the lookout for storms.

Remember, precipitation equals...

Evacuation.

We'll work more on that later. Yes, Gretchen?

- Could you please explain the verbal warning system again?

Great question.

- Gretchen! - What?

I don't want to commit a tub flub.

- You guys gotta start taking her lead.