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1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,165
Happy Tofurky Day, everyone.
2
00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:06,203
Yeah, who's ready
to celebrate
3
00:00:06,288 --> 00:00:08,908
the shameful legacy
of colonialism?
4
00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:11,312
Okay, Sarah, coming in hot.
5
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,475
Yeah, sorry,
I'm just a little... keyed up.
6
00:00:13,608 --> 00:00:15,672
It's not every day that you
have to introduce your parents
7
00:00:15,756 --> 00:00:17,680
to your dad's secret child.
8
00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:19,188
Guys, I know
that Thanksgiving
9
00:00:19,288 --> 00:00:21,953
is traditionally
our special day of fighting,
10
00:00:22,053 --> 00:00:23,596
but it doesn't have to be.
11
00:00:23,696 --> 00:00:25,519
Let's welcome Harmony
into our family
12
00:00:25,619 --> 00:00:27,978
with dignity and zero drama.
13
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:28,975
Mm...
14
00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:30,323
- Can't wait.
- If you say so.
15
00:00:30,408 --> 00:00:31,673
Come on, you guys,
we can do this.
16
00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:33,297
Harmony gets here an hour
before Mum and Dad.
17
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:34,758
That gives us plenty of time
to prep her
18
00:00:34,842 --> 00:00:37,609
for Mum's reaction...
Sorry, overreaction.
19
00:00:37,694 --> 00:00:39,515
Should we have done this
in a public place,
20
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:40,891
you know, so that Mum
can't have a freak-out?
21
00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,142
Do you think an audience
of strangers is gonna stop her?
22
00:00:43,226 --> 00:00:44,350
Do you not recall
23
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,218
the container-store meltdown
of 2015?
24
00:00:46,303 --> 00:00:48,087
Yeah.
No, I'm grasping at straws.
25
00:00:48,195 --> 00:00:49,994
Guys, let's keep it positive
around the kids.
26
00:00:50,078 --> 00:00:53,464
Hey, guys, you excited to me
your new half-aunt, Harmony?
27
00:00:53,564 --> 00:00:54,866
Is she called a love child
28
00:00:54,966 --> 00:00:56,469
because Grandpa
loves making babies?
29
00:00:56,569 --> 00:00:58,994
How many love babies
does Grandma have?
30
00:00:59,094 --> 00:01:00,849
If Grandpa dies,
does Harmony get any money?
31
00:01:00,934 --> 00:01:02,619
Where does Harmony stand
politically,
32
00:01:02,704 --> 00:01:04,707
and how soon
can we get into that?
33
00:01:06,184 --> 00:01:08,185
This is gonna be
a fun Thanksgiving.
34
00:01:09,966 --> 00:01:11,747
*HOME ECONOMICS*
Season 03 Episode 08
35
00:01:11,836 --> 00:01:13,653
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
Episode Title: "Wheel of Vegan Brie, $24"
36
00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:17,466
Man, Harmony's running late.
37
00:01:17,566 --> 00:01:19,045
And it's really cutting
into our prep time.
38
00:01:19,129 --> 00:01:20,711
I need 20 minutes alone
39
00:01:20,811 --> 00:01:22,370
just to describe all of Mum's
different smiles.
40
00:01:22,454 --> 00:01:24,458
- Ear to ear, run in fear.
- Showing teeth...
41
00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:26,439
also run in fear.
42
00:01:26,524 --> 00:01:28,380
Guys, we knew today
could be rough,
43
00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:30,537
so Denise and I planned
some activities
44
00:01:30,622 --> 00:01:32,011
to help keep things light.
45
00:01:32,107 --> 00:01:34,415
And to avoid
a emotional free-for-all...
46
00:01:34,515 --> 00:01:36,303
A Normals Agenda, if you will.
47
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,536
We pulled some classic
board games to play
48
00:01:38,621 --> 00:01:40,805
as a low-stakes icebreaker.
49
00:01:40,914 --> 00:01:43,280
- Ooh, Monopoly?
- Absolutely not Monopoly.
50
00:01:43,365 --> 00:01:45,475
And the kids are gonna put on
a little talent show
51
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,147
just to provide a positive,
52
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,843
noncontroversial focus
for everyone.
53
00:01:48,928 --> 00:01:50,952
Plus, if things go sideways,
54
00:01:51,052 --> 00:01:53,896
we have
a foolproof distraction.
55
00:01:54,107 --> 00:01:56,171
Baby bomb!
56
00:01:56,256 --> 00:01:58,396
Can't have awkward tension
with these guys around.
57
00:01:58,481 --> 00:01:59,543
Nah, I bet we can do it.
58
00:01:59,628 --> 00:02:01,131
Hey-o!
59
00:02:01,216 --> 00:02:02,685
- Hello.
- Hi, bro.
60
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:05,242
Hey. Harmony, you're here.
61
00:02:05,327 --> 00:02:08,501
- With Mum and Dad.
- At the same time.
62
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,849
Hi, fam.
63
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,109
So, uh, how did this, um...
64
00:02:12,209 --> 00:02:13,768
Did you guys just bump into
each other in the driveway?
65
00:02:13,852 --> 00:02:14,927
Oh, no, no, Tommy.
66
00:02:15,012 --> 00:02:16,958
Your mother and I got
so excited, we got jumpy,
67
00:02:17,043 --> 00:02:19,056
and we texted Harmony
a few days ago,
68
00:02:19,141 --> 00:02:21,445
and we have
just hit it off great.
69
00:02:21,545 --> 00:02:23,184
Before we knew it,
she was flying into Sacramento
70
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,068
to see us early.
71
00:02:24,153 --> 00:02:26,146
I just wanted to spend
some quality time
72
00:02:26,231 --> 00:02:28,135
with my bio-dad
and my bonus mum.
73
00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,803
I'm a bonus mum.
74
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:31,952
Wow. So we don't even have
to introduce you.
75
00:02:32,037 --> 00:02:33,450
And I'm sorry
I didn't tell you.
76
00:02:33,535 --> 00:02:35,950
We just got so caught up in the fun,
and then we thought,
77
00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:38,835
"Why not just surprise them
right after we"...
78
00:02:38,935 --> 00:02:41,720
"Escape from Alcatraz"?
79
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:44,525
You guys went to Alcatraz?
It's, like, my favourite prison.
80
00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:47,290
Oh, my God, it was so cool.
We saw Al Capone's cell.
81
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,337
Well, more like Al Ca-phone.
82
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,013
It's an inside joke.
83
00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:55,250
You guys already have
inside jokes.
84
00:02:55,335 --> 00:02:57,060
That's... that's great.
85
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,086
Oh, and I couldn't show up
without some presents
86
00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:00,888
for my new nieces and nephews.
87
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,836
That is so thoughtful.
88
00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,905
She's so special, this one.
89
00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:07,070
Dad, you're really snapping
away there, aren't you?
90
00:03:07,155 --> 00:03:08,457
Hey, you got to capture
91
00:03:08,542 --> 00:03:10,062
these first few
precious moments, Tommy.
92
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,310
They're so fleeting.
93
00:03:11,432 --> 00:03:12,694
Oh, that's a framer.
94
00:03:15,473 --> 00:03:18,536
Well, she seems to be getting
along great with Mum and Dad.
95
00:03:18,684 --> 00:03:20,564
Yeah, which is weird because
we don't get along great
96
00:03:20,648 --> 00:03:23,313
- with Mum and Dad.
- Yeah, what's her deal?
97
00:03:23,413 --> 00:03:24,835
Ah, I almost forgot.
98
00:03:24,935 --> 00:03:27,280
My small contribution
to Thanksgiving...
99
00:03:27,395 --> 00:03:28,505
It's a vegan Brie
100
00:03:28,590 --> 00:03:30,934
from a local, Black-owned,
gender-progressive fromagerie.
101
00:03:31,573 --> 00:03:33,196
Really?
I love all those words.
102
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,225
Well, it's delicious
and healthy.
103
00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:38,118
Speaking of,
did I spy a gym back there?
104
00:03:38,206 --> 00:03:40,550
Yeah. You lift or...?
105
00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:42,762
I'm more into high-intensity
interval training
106
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,630
- mixed with rock climbing.
- Stop.
107
00:03:44,730 --> 00:03:46,449
I was thinking about putting
a rock-climbing wall in there.
108
00:03:46,533 --> 00:03:47,675
- No.
- Yeah.
109
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,708
- No.
- Yeah.
110
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,005
- You've got to.
- I will.
111
00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:52,224
Yeah, but nothing beats
bouldering in Boulder,
112
00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:54,451
'cause Colorado... it's not just
about fitness.
113
00:03:54,536 --> 00:03:56,680
Like, it's also about communing
with nature.
114
00:03:56,772 --> 00:03:59,197
We need the tonic of wildness.
115
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,185
- Are you quoting Thoreau?
- Guilty.
116
00:04:01,270 --> 00:04:02,990
I reread "Walden" every year.
117
00:04:03,162 --> 00:04:04,810
You know, working
for the National Parks,
118
00:04:04,895 --> 00:04:06,799
I'm mostly
in the company of books,
119
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,020
which I guess makes me
a bit of a nerd.
120
00:04:09,105 --> 00:04:11,891
Well, I Thoreau-ily disagree.
121
00:04:13,788 --> 00:04:15,412
Okay, well, I'm gonna put this
in the fridge
122
00:04:15,496 --> 00:04:17,185
before it starts leaking.
123
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,529
Um, I think
I figured out her deal.
124
00:04:21,714 --> 00:04:22,896
She's freakin' awesome.
125
00:04:22,981 --> 00:04:24,461
Why do I love her so much?
126
00:04:24,545 --> 00:04:27,255
Maybe because
she's exactly like all of us.
127
00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:28,491
That's it. That's why.
128
00:04:28,575 --> 00:04:29,718
Yeah.
129
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,923
And we're the best.
130
00:04:32,202 --> 00:04:33,585
So here's a video
131
00:04:33,677 --> 00:04:35,620
of Harmony
when we stopped for gas.
132
00:04:35,705 --> 00:04:38,232
She was so tuckered out, she
fell asleep in the back seat.
133
00:04:38,317 --> 00:04:40,902
Aw.
134
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,688
Wow.
She's really fitting in.
135
00:04:42,827 --> 00:04:45,172
- Yeah, it's great.
- So great.
136
00:04:45,483 --> 00:04:47,707
Although I was hoping
we'd have another outsider
137
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,990
- to join our team.
- Hi, half-in-laws.
138
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,747
- Oh. Hey.
- Hey.
139
00:04:51,847 --> 00:04:54,231
So how's your first Hayworth
Thanksgiving going?
140
00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:56,099
Good, I think.
I mean, I don't know.
141
00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:57,803
I don't really have much
to compare it to.
142
00:04:57,887 --> 00:04:59,991
Oh, everyone here loves you.
You're a hit.
143
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,177
I mean, we're embarrassed
144
00:05:01,262 --> 00:05:03,264
that we thought you were Tom's
stalker the first night we met.
145
00:05:03,348 --> 00:05:04,372
No worries.
146
00:05:04,457 --> 00:05:07,149
I was so amped up, I would've
thought I was a stalker.
147
00:05:07,234 --> 00:05:09,982
But then again, I listen to way
too many crime podcasts.
148
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:12,491
Shut up!
You like true crime?
149
00:05:12,576 --> 00:05:14,162
What's your fave...
Murders, kidnappings?
150
00:05:14,246 --> 00:05:16,127
Stealing someone's identity
to bilk an elderly woman
151
00:05:16,211 --> 00:05:18,395
- out of her Nazi gold?
- Oh, those are so much fun.
152
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,943
Oh, I'm into all of it.
153
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,332
I am obsessed with noir...
154
00:05:22,417 --> 00:05:25,282
Both the crime kind and Pinot.
155
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,130
Who wants a top-off?
156
00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:29,593
- I love her.
- I think we love her.
157
00:05:29,678 --> 00:05:31,682
Let's lock her in.
158
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:35,234
So, Harmony,
we're playing teams.
159
00:05:35,444 --> 00:05:37,748
And FYI, I was a runner-up
on Teen "Jeopardy!"
160
00:05:37,833 --> 00:05:38,983
So I guess if you want to win,
161
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,530
then you should maybe play
with me.
162
00:05:40,686 --> 00:05:41,936
Yeah, and if you don't mind
163
00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:44,053
hearing this every time you get
a wrong answer...
164
00:05:44,704 --> 00:05:45,786
"Oh, boy."
165
00:05:45,871 --> 00:05:47,900
They're just jealous
because I'm undefeated.
166
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:48,763
Come. Join me.
167
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,862
Or... or if you just want
to have fun,
168
00:05:50,947 --> 00:05:53,532
pull up a chair and join
your new partners in crime.
169
00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:55,599
Sometimes we forget
we're even playing the game.
170
00:05:55,683 --> 00:05:58,669
No, I'm so sorry, gang, but
Harmony's already on a team.
171
00:05:58,754 --> 00:06:00,677
Yeah, but it's so nice
to be wanted.
172
00:06:00,762 --> 00:06:03,099
You three chuckle heads,
why don't you be your own team?
173
00:06:03,184 --> 00:06:05,167
Fine, but don't say
we didn't warn you.
174
00:06:06,559 --> 00:06:08,583
Come on, big money,
no whammies.
175
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,652
Wait, wait,
hold your horses there, Conny.
176
00:06:10,899 --> 00:06:12,041
Not your turn yet.
177
00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:14,036
But I always go first.
178
00:06:14,121 --> 00:06:16,466
The youngest goes first.
Harmony.
179
00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:18,094
Oh, no, it's okay.
180
00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:19,333
She's older than me.
181
00:06:19,418 --> 00:06:21,121
Conny, you know
what your mother meant.
182
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,560
The newest goes first.
183
00:06:24,614 --> 00:06:27,159
Okay, fine, but I already blew
on them, so...
184
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,053
Oh, thank you.
185
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:31,466
Looks like there's a new baby
in the family, huh?
186
00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:32,991
First question...
187
00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:36,502
What ocean surrounds
the Madeira Islands?
188
00:06:36,587 --> 00:06:37,880
Mm...
189
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,869
Well, they're a part
of Paraguay.
190
00:06:39,954 --> 00:06:41,737
I'm gonna say...
the Atlantic?
191
00:06:41,895 --> 00:06:43,943
- That's right.
- Yes! Wow!
192
00:06:46,056 --> 00:06:47,146
Kind of a softball.
193
00:06:47,231 --> 00:06:48,708
I mean, there are only
so many oceans, but...
194
00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:49,894
Hey, good job.
195
00:06:50,142 --> 00:06:51,644
Next question...
196
00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:53,106
The quadratic equation?
197
00:06:53,191 --> 00:06:54,388
Gadsden Purchase.
198
00:06:54,473 --> 00:06:56,016
"Breakin' 2:
Electric Boogaloo"?
199
00:06:56,101 --> 00:06:57,896
The Manhattan Project?
The Komodo dragon.
200
00:06:57,981 --> 00:06:59,541
"Jack and the Beanstalk."
Tectonic plates.
201
00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:00,944
A motorcycle.
"Fiddler on the Roof."
202
00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:02,348
Whitney Houston.
"White Men Can't Jump"!
203
00:07:02,432 --> 00:07:04,135
Somebody call Mensa.
204
00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:06,444
You know, you could be
on regular "Jeopardy!"
205
00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:08,232
- Dad.
- Dad.
206
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,896
Okay, so, um...
207
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,638
Harmony again.
208
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,867
In which
American Indian tribe...
209
00:07:14,952 --> 00:07:17,136
Ugh, this... these cards
are out of date.
210
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,873
It should be
Native American tribe.
211
00:07:18,958 --> 00:07:21,316
Actually, I believe
the preferred term
212
00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:23,065
is "Indigenous peoples."
213
00:07:24,914 --> 00:07:27,435
Harmony taught me that
on our drive from Sacramento.
214
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,985
- And you listened?
- Oh, boy.
215
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,054
Muriel is so eager to learn.
216
00:07:32,139 --> 00:07:34,563
And did you know that
the celebration of Thanksgiving
217
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,661
is actually very problematic.
218
00:07:36,746 --> 00:07:38,289
You should do
some research, Sarah.
219
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,917
Gah... I should do
some research.
220
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:42,787
Sarah, sweetie,
you should try this vegan Brie.
221
00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,825
- Delicious.
- I know.
222
00:07:44,918 --> 00:07:46,756
I've been trying to get you
to eat that for years.
223
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,223
I don't think so.
224
00:07:48,404 --> 00:07:50,466
She's gonna blow.
225
00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:53,556
I think it's time to move on
to another question.
226
00:07:54,554 --> 00:07:56,657
Which best-selling
American author
227
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,527
also won an Oscar for
the adaptation of his novel?
228
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,888
- John Updike. Easy.
- Tom, it is not your turn.
229
00:08:01,973 --> 00:08:03,201
She's getting
all the easy questions.
230
00:08:03,285 --> 00:08:05,074
Actually,
I think it's John Irving.
231
00:08:05,159 --> 00:08:06,221
- Right again.
- Yes.
232
00:08:06,438 --> 00:08:08,061
Oh.
233
00:08:08,146 --> 00:08:09,826
- Sorry, what's happening?
- It's an easy mistake...
234
00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:12,455
Updike, Irving,
both titans of their craft.
235
00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,030
What are... Who... What are...
What's going on?
236
00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:16,209
You have swept the board,
chipmunk.
237
00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:17,726
Ah.
238
00:08:17,811 --> 00:08:20,568
- Oh, how cute.
- Dad, enough with the camera.
239
00:08:20,653 --> 00:08:22,837
She's not a toddler.
And I'm the chipmunk.
240
00:08:22,922 --> 00:08:25,242
I've been telling them about
smallpox blankets for years.
241
00:08:25,327 --> 00:08:27,137
Irving.
Of course, it's Irving.
242
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:30,962
Baby bomb.
243
00:08:31,049 --> 00:08:32,208
Look at their little
bow ties.
244
00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:33,555
Oh, my gosh!
245
00:08:33,874 --> 00:08:35,877
This is, like,
a freakin' disaster.
246
00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:42,434
Okay, is Harmony impressive?
Absolutely.
247
00:08:42,519 --> 00:08:43,458
- No doubt.
- Clearly.
248
00:08:43,543 --> 00:08:45,450
But what is going on
with Mum and Dad?
249
00:08:45,535 --> 00:08:47,638
- They're, like, obsessed.
- It's embarrassing.
250
00:08:47,723 --> 00:08:49,266
And they took her
to Alcatraz?
251
00:08:49,351 --> 00:08:51,215
And they got
all these little inside jokes?
252
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,220
Sorry, they
don't make any sense, guys.
253
00:08:53,304 --> 00:08:55,969
Yeah, and Mum is using terms
like "unhoused population."
254
00:08:56,054 --> 00:08:58,119
I mean, she spends a couple
hours in the car with Harmony,
255
00:08:58,203 --> 00:08:59,608
and all of a sudden,
they're not hobos anymore.
256
00:08:59,692 --> 00:09:01,013
And I'm still the youngest,
257
00:09:01,098 --> 00:09:03,108
but they're treating me like
I'm some kind of middle child.
258
00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:04,895
- What am I, a Sarah?
- Ugh.
259
00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:06,643
You'll always be
a baby to me.
260
00:09:06,775 --> 00:09:07,936
Thank you, Lupe.
That means a lot.
261
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:10,052
Hey, how's everything going?
262
00:09:10,137 --> 00:09:11,737
Do you think it's time
to start the talent show?
263
00:09:11,821 --> 00:09:14,080
Yeah, we really don't want
to blow this, you know.
264
00:09:14,165 --> 00:09:16,790
Harmony is very important
to us.
265
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,177
To you.
266
00:09:18,262 --> 00:09:20,326
- To all of us.
- Exactly.
267
00:09:20,411 --> 00:09:22,825
I mean, who cares
which alliance she chooses?
268
00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,473
What the hell
are you talking about?
269
00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:28,888
Hey, should we start
the talent show?
270
00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:32,254
And the talent agent says,
"What do you call yourselves?"
271
00:09:32,597 --> 00:09:35,182
And they go, "The Aristocrats."
272
00:09:38,364 --> 00:09:40,107
Ah, it's a thinker.
273
00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:44,017
Okay, performing first today,
we have Kelvin, who will be...
274
00:09:44,344 --> 00:09:47,289
"throwing down
some Gucci moves."
275
00:09:50,765 --> 00:09:52,468
I asked the kids
to stretch this out.
276
00:09:52,553 --> 00:09:54,353
We just need everyone
distracted until dinner.
277
00:09:54,437 --> 00:09:56,141
Oh, I gave Kelvin
half a Red Bull,
278
00:09:56,226 --> 00:09:57,728
so he can go all day.
279
00:10:00,785 --> 00:10:03,811
♪ And the rockets'
red glare ♪
280
00:10:03,911 --> 00:10:06,455
♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪
281
00:10:06,555 --> 00:10:08,868
My mum said she doesn't know
how to braid hair.
282
00:10:08,953 --> 00:10:10,496
She's so focused on Harmony,
283
00:10:10,581 --> 00:10:12,644
she's completely ignoring
her actual daughter.
284
00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:14,549
- Sarah?
- Yeah.
285
00:10:14,649 --> 00:10:17,234
♪ Oh, say does that... ♪
286
00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:19,278
You go, baby!
Whoo!
287
00:10:21,614 --> 00:10:22,821
You got this, honey.
288
00:10:22,906 --> 00:10:24,663
Remember,
focus on the white corners.
289
00:10:24,748 --> 00:10:26,050
She had this at home.
290
00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:32,118
Good... good effort!
291
00:10:32,228 --> 00:10:34,052
So, uh...
292
00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:36,140
who here plays Roblox?
293
00:10:36,524 --> 00:10:37,673
Don't you hate it
294
00:10:37,758 --> 00:10:40,215
when you just finished building
your house in Bloxburg,
295
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:42,324
but then all your friends leave
to go play Piggy?
296
00:10:46,677 --> 00:10:48,140
I don't get it at all.
297
00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:50,928
Okay, what else?
What else?
298
00:10:52,359 --> 00:10:54,218
I guess
Harmony's pushing us out.
299
00:10:54,302 --> 00:10:55,893
We're being put out
to pasture.
300
00:10:55,978 --> 00:10:57,004
Remember when we were kids?
301
00:10:57,088 --> 00:10:58,160
Put on a goofy talent show
like this
302
00:10:58,244 --> 00:10:59,605
just to get
Mum and Dad's attention?
303
00:10:59,689 --> 00:11:01,222
We should do that again.
304
00:11:05,745 --> 00:11:08,308
Idaho... Gem State.
Washington... Evergreen State.
305
00:11:08,393 --> 00:11:09,616
Nevada... Silver State.
306
00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,123
Should we stop him?
307
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:12,878
Should we? Yes.
Can we? No.
308
00:11:13,618 --> 00:11:15,058
New Mexico...
The Land of Enchantment.
309
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,526
- Go, Tommy!
- Kansas... Sunflower State.
310
00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:20,075
Texas... Lone Star State.
And that's all 50.
311
00:11:20,238 --> 00:11:21,821
Unh! What?
312
00:11:22,038 --> 00:11:23,100
What?
313
00:11:23,387 --> 00:11:24,814
Boom!
314
00:11:24,899 --> 00:11:26,963
Boom! Boom!
315
00:11:27,048 --> 00:11:29,072
That's my chipmunk.
Look at him go!
316
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:31,572
91, 92...
317
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:32,816
No, Frederick,
318
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,804
I shall not be tossed aside,
319
00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:38,435
not I, who have sacrificed
my stature and position
320
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,985
to look after
your insufferable cousin.
321
00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:43,185
She's been going on
for eight minutes.
322
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,693
Oh, she knows the whole play.
323
00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:46,842
Oh, no,
this is freaking Harmony out.
324
00:11:46,927 --> 00:11:50,393
But this could be
an opportunity for the Normals.
325
00:11:50,748 --> 00:11:51,967
Harmony.
326
00:11:52,052 --> 00:11:54,449
Hey, there.
You good?
327
00:11:54,534 --> 00:11:56,240
Could you point me
toward the bathroom?
328
00:11:56,325 --> 00:11:57,467
I-I thought I'd found it,
329
00:11:57,552 --> 00:12:00,107
but then, actually, it was
more like an indoor ball pit?
330
00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:03,349
Oh, right. Yeah, that's
Connor's indoor ball pit.
331
00:12:03,434 --> 00:12:04,816
Hey, just real quick...
332
00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:06,845
Uh, you know
we're not like them.
333
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:09,034
- Like who?
- Like the Hayworths.
334
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:11,583
Yeah. I mean, we love them.
We do.
335
00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:14,173
Um, but they have
very fragile egos.
336
00:12:14,258 --> 00:12:15,654
And we do love them,
337
00:12:15,739 --> 00:12:17,539
but they just make everything
about themselves,
338
00:12:17,623 --> 00:12:20,929
like holidays, regular days,
Honda Days.
339
00:12:21,014 --> 00:12:23,865
Again, we love them so much,
340
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,724
but they're a bunch of freaks.
341
00:12:26,735 --> 00:12:29,373
It has been a little
overwhelming, honestly.
342
00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:32,650
I mean, I spend my days
with black-tailed swallows,
343
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:34,778
and I guess it's different
being in the middle
344
00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:37,185
of a big family
with big personalities.
345
00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:41,021
"Big personalities."
Wow, that is very diplomatic.
346
00:12:41,185 --> 00:12:42,771
Harmony,
you can be real with us.
347
00:12:42,856 --> 00:12:44,359
We're like you.
We're normal.
348
00:12:44,509 --> 00:12:47,263
One of us, one of us.
349
00:12:47,348 --> 00:12:49,373
- One of us.
- Bathroom.
350
00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:51,602
- One of us, one of us.
- One of us, one of us.
351
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,599
So take me away,
Mr. Constable.
352
00:12:53,684 --> 00:12:57,110
I will blissfully serve
my time!
353
00:12:57,229 --> 00:12:59,694
Scene.
354
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,927
- Oh, wonderful.
- Yes!
355
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,376
Brava! Brava!
356
00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:08,779
Stop. Guys, stop.
357
00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:11,088
More. Just kidding.
358
00:13:11,288 --> 00:13:13,092
Well, I'd say
mission accomplished.
359
00:13:13,321 --> 00:13:15,666
- We might be too talented.
- Right?
360
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:17,574
Mum and Dad
were frickin' into it.
361
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:18,912
We should do this every week.
362
00:13:18,997 --> 00:13:20,180
Well, turkey time?
363
00:13:20,265 --> 00:13:21,687
Well, no... hey, hold on.
364
00:13:21,772 --> 00:13:23,676
Harmony hasn't shared
her talent.
365
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,607
Oh, no, no, no,
that... that's okay.
366
00:13:25,692 --> 00:13:28,077
They were all amazing,
and I can't compete with that.
367
00:13:28,162 --> 00:13:29,817
Yeah, we don't want
to put her on the spot.
368
00:13:29,901 --> 00:13:31,615
Yeah, and it's not
a competition, anyway.
369
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,123
Yeah, it's not a competition.
370
00:13:33,208 --> 00:13:34,831
Guys, I don't have
any special talents.
371
00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:37,896
Oh, don't be modest.
Everybody has a special talent.
372
00:13:37,981 --> 00:13:40,205
Mine is acting,
directing, and writing.
373
00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:41,888
I know you have something.
374
00:13:41,973 --> 00:13:43,427
Mum, she said
she's not talented,
375
00:13:43,512 --> 00:13:45,616
so, you know,
we should respect that.
376
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,725
I guess I could do
some bird calls.
377
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:49,112
- Great.
- Yes.
378
00:13:49,197 --> 00:13:50,740
- Yeah, yeah, bird calls.
- Harmony.
379
00:13:50,825 --> 00:13:52,408
- Yeah.
- Okay.
380
00:13:52,493 --> 00:13:55,347
Bird calls... okay.
381
00:13:55,432 --> 00:13:57,654
Let's go, Harmony.
Whoo!
382
00:13:57,739 --> 00:14:02,907
Shh. Shh.
383
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,090
What's happening?
384
00:14:26,994 --> 00:14:28,617
She's like
a real-life Snow White.
385
00:14:33,701 --> 00:14:35,204
We have to have her
on our team.
386
00:14:35,289 --> 00:14:37,613
She's more powerful
than I imagined.
387
00:14:39,611 --> 00:14:40,953
Thank you.
388
00:14:41,038 --> 00:14:42,862
Wow!
389
00:14:42,947 --> 00:14:46,012
- I have never been so proud!
- Whoo! Beautiful!
390
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,224
That was beautiful.
391
00:14:48,309 --> 00:14:49,707
Huh.
392
00:14:50,197 --> 00:14:51,459
Whoa.
393
00:14:51,544 --> 00:14:53,728
Next time
I'll plan something.
394
00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:56,733
She's better...
at everything.
395
00:14:56,818 --> 00:14:58,441
I'm no longer
the favourite child.
396
00:14:58,526 --> 00:15:00,870
Ah, I don't think
you were the favourite.
397
00:15:00,955 --> 00:15:02,618
Hey, neither of you
were the favourite.
398
00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:04,476
- Uh, get real, Sarah.
- It definitely wasn't you.
399
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:05,544
What are you talking about?
400
00:15:05,629 --> 00:15:07,117
I literally have an email
from Mum right here.
401
00:15:07,201 --> 00:15:09,145
- "Tom, you are my favourite."
- Check this out.
402
00:15:09,372 --> 00:15:11,787
"Baby boy Connor,
you're my favourite.
403
00:15:11,872 --> 00:15:13,045
Love, Mum."
404
00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:14,459
Mine probab...
405
00:15:14,544 --> 00:15:16,213
Mine probably went to spam,
'cause my... my phone's so old.
406
00:15:16,297 --> 00:15:17,800
Yeah, well,
that doesn't matter.
407
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,600
Harmony's been getting
all the emails now.
408
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:20,654
You know what?
I deleted it. I remember now.
409
00:15:20,739 --> 00:15:23,344
I-I deleted it,
so it's gone forever.
410
00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:26,755
Sure.
411
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,272
Can you do other animals?
412
00:15:29,357 --> 00:15:30,764
We would love to hear
a dolphin.
413
00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:32,325
Okay.
414
00:15:33,435 --> 00:15:35,795
Hope I can get through this
without the water works.
415
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,154
Today's so special.
416
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:40,100
I've always said I could never
love my children more,
417
00:15:40,185 --> 00:15:43,651
but as it turns out,
I could love more children.
418
00:15:43,751 --> 00:15:46,095
- Oh.
- So glad Harmony stalked Tom
419
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,219
at his book reading
and entered our lives.
420
00:15:48,319 --> 00:15:52,466
She's so smart and generous,
and for that, I am so thankful.
421
00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:54,510
So happy Thanksgiving,
everyone.
422
00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:56,473
- Hear, hear.
- Cheers.
423
00:15:56,573 --> 00:16:00,040
- So true, Dad.
- So... so true.
424
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,804
Not only is Harmony
socially conscious
425
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:04,169
and good at bird stuff,
426
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,626
but she has also made Mum
happier than I've seen her
427
00:16:06,711 --> 00:16:09,116
since she turned my childhood
bedroom into a craft room...
428
00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:12,262
Which she has
never used, not once.
429
00:16:12,474 --> 00:16:15,068
It doesn't get good lighting.
430
00:16:15,154 --> 00:16:16,164
If I could just
kind of piggyback
431
00:16:16,248 --> 00:16:18,492
onto Sarah's lovely toast...
432
00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:20,916
Um, I love the positive effect
433
00:16:21,016 --> 00:16:22,334
that Harmony's having
on our family,
434
00:16:22,418 --> 00:16:23,881
especially Mum and Dad.
435
00:16:23,981 --> 00:16:25,380
I bet if she went
to Space Camp,
436
00:16:25,465 --> 00:16:26,647
you wouldn't have been
two hours late picking her up.
437
00:16:26,731 --> 00:16:29,065
- Right?
- That was 30 years ago, Tommy.
438
00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:30,869
If I had been in space,
I would've died, okay?
439
00:16:30,953 --> 00:16:33,418
All right, Tom, Sarah,
let's chill.
440
00:16:33,503 --> 00:16:35,206
I think we're all missing
the point here.
441
00:16:35,321 --> 00:16:38,186
It's Thanksgiving... we should be
thankful for what we have,
442
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:41,206
which is a roof over our heads,
food on the table,
443
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,834
and the fact that Mum and Dad
444
00:16:42,934 --> 00:16:44,854
have clearly found someone
they love more than us.
445
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,482
- Oh, no, that is unkind.
- D-a-amn.
446
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:49,606
- Uncalled for, Conny.
- It's very called for!
447
00:16:49,706 --> 00:16:51,345
Okay, we don't need
to get so worked up.
448
00:16:51,429 --> 00:16:52,932
Tom, you are being a child.
449
00:16:53,032 --> 00:16:54,631
Tom, you are being a child.
450
00:16:54,715 --> 00:16:56,434
Do we have to do this
on Indigenous Peoples Day?
451
00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:58,101
That's Columbus Day.
452
00:16:58,201 --> 00:17:00,021
I don't celebrate Columbus.
He's a coloniser.
453
00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:01,547
I know!
454
00:17:01,632 --> 00:17:02,881
Should I say grace?
I'm happy to say grace.
455
00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:03,833
Dad, why aren't you
filming this, huh?
456
00:17:03,918 --> 00:17:05,614
Why don't you get
your frickin' camcorder?
457
00:17:05,699 --> 00:17:07,098
Baby's first Thanksgiving,
right, Dad?
458
00:17:09,805 --> 00:17:12,029
What is wrong with you people?
459
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,089
Do you not hear yourselves?
460
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:17,412
You know, I came here trying to
make a good impression on you,
461
00:17:17,497 --> 00:17:20,380
but... but it turns out
you're a bunch of maniacs.
462
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,303
You're fighting
over board games,
463
00:17:22,403 --> 00:17:24,867
and you're... you're competing
for your parents' affection
464
00:17:24,967 --> 00:17:26,991
by horning in
on a kids' talent show?
465
00:17:27,091 --> 00:17:28,950
Wasn't necessarily
just for kids.
466
00:17:29,035 --> 00:17:30,979
- It said it on the sign.
- True.
467
00:17:31,064 --> 00:17:32,446
I was looking so forward
468
00:17:32,531 --> 00:17:35,381
to having my first
big family Thanksgiving
469
00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:37,287
with siblings and parents
470
00:17:37,372 --> 00:17:38,787
and two different
green-bean dishes
471
00:17:38,872 --> 00:17:40,865
that no one likes anyway,
and instead, I got this?
472
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,099
Harmony, we are so sorry.
473
00:17:43,199 --> 00:17:46,305
They should be ashamed
of themselves.
474
00:17:46,405 --> 00:17:48,669
Oh, like you two
can even talk,
475
00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:50,672
making mean jokes
about your entire family
476
00:17:50,764 --> 00:17:51,435
behind their back?
477
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,813
And I'm gonna say it...
You guys drink too much wine.
478
00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:57,833
Okay.
479
00:17:58,012 --> 00:17:59,355
I'm sorry. I should've...
480
00:17:59,588 --> 00:18:01,892
I should've never come
here today.
481
00:18:01,992 --> 00:18:04,336
Although Alcatraz
was really fun.
482
00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:20,484
Hey, Harmony...
483
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:22,528
Harmony's friend.
484
00:18:22,628 --> 00:18:24,411
- Susan.
- Right.
485
00:18:24,511 --> 00:18:27,376
Look, we're sorry we let things
get so out of control,
486
00:18:27,476 --> 00:18:29,220
fighting over our parents
like that.
487
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,199
Yeah, they were just trying
to make you feel welcome,
488
00:18:31,283 --> 00:18:34,188
and it just stirred up
some insecurities in us
489
00:18:34,288 --> 00:18:36,392
that really have... have nothing
to do with you.
490
00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:38,636
Sorry for botching your first
Hayworth Thanksgiving.
491
00:18:38,736 --> 00:18:40,455
Thanksgiving was just never
really a big deal
492
00:18:40,539 --> 00:18:41,669
for me growing up.
493
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,136
It was always
just me and my mum.
494
00:18:43,369 --> 00:18:45,411
My cousins died in the mine.
495
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:48,028
I don't know... maybe I just put
too much pressure on today,
496
00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:50,777
and then... yeah, then I went
and ruined it.
497
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,901
Hey, you didn't ruin
anything.
498
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,223
Come here, sis.
499
00:18:54,323 --> 00:18:55,669
Are we gonna talk
about the mine?
500
00:18:55,754 --> 00:18:56,928
You know what proves
that you're a Hayworth
501
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,630
more than any DNA test?
502
00:18:59,715 --> 00:19:02,536
The fact that you joined in
on our special day of fighting.
503
00:19:02,692 --> 00:19:05,082
Yeah, you're definitely
one of us.
504
00:19:05,182 --> 00:19:07,486
Aw, thank you, 'cause
you really pissed me off.
505
00:19:08,883 --> 00:19:10,323
Yeah, I never
should've coined that term...
506
00:19:10,407 --> 00:19:11,709
"Our special day of fighting."
507
00:19:11,794 --> 00:19:13,563
- It keeps haunting us.
- Uh, what?
508
00:19:13,648 --> 00:19:14,880
You didn't.
509
00:19:15,114 --> 00:19:17,226
I did, the year that you threw
candied yams at Connor.
510
00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:19,283
Excuse me, I coined it
511
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:21,432
on the Thanksgiving
when we went to Ming Garden
512
00:19:21,531 --> 00:19:22,755
and you stormed out
513
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,037
'cause I put duck sauce
in your iced tea.
514
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,641
Candied yams was
well before duck iced tea.
515
00:19:25,725 --> 00:19:28,130
No, no, no, no,
candied yams was after...
516
00:19:28,302 --> 00:19:30,406
No, it was... because we went
to Six Flags that year.
517
00:19:30,506 --> 00:19:32,009
We didn't go to Six Flags
that year.
518
00:19:32,109 --> 00:19:33,263
It happened at Six Flags.
519
00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:34,668
I remember
because I'm the oldest.
520
00:19:34,765 --> 00:19:36,508
It happened when we went
to Six Flags.
521
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:37,669
So this year,
522
00:19:37,754 --> 00:19:40,961
we're rooting for the
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel...
523
00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:42,909
Small package,
tons of personality.
524
00:19:42,994 --> 00:19:45,378
I don't know.
I've got my eye on the Maltese.
525
00:19:45,463 --> 00:19:47,207
She may be a half-Hayworth,
526
00:19:47,292 --> 00:19:49,476
but she's also
sort of half-Normal.
527
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,483
And half bird.
528
00:19:55,229 --> 00:19:57,293
- We're not mean, are we?
- Mm-mm.
529
00:20:00,478 --> 00:20:03,063
You know, Harmony,
you should come for Christmas.
530
00:20:03,163 --> 00:20:04,302
Oh, we go all out.
531
00:20:04,387 --> 00:20:06,691
Yeah, one year I paid Tim Allen
to fall off my roof.
532
00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:08,622
It wasn't Tim Allen.
533
00:20:08,735 --> 00:20:12,041
Ah...
That is such a nice invitation.
534
00:20:12,219 --> 00:20:13,958
But you're not coming.
535
00:20:14,043 --> 00:20:16,381
Yeah, I think it might be
a little soon.
536
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,570
I mean, I-I've had so much fun
with you guys,
537
00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:22,056
but, you know,
your family's a lot.
538
00:20:22,148 --> 00:20:23,201
Yeah, we've heard
that before.
539
00:20:23,285 --> 00:20:24,707
Yeah, for sure, for sure.
540
00:20:25,121 --> 00:20:26,318
But we're still taking you
541
00:20:26,402 --> 00:20:27,967
to acquarium this week end,
right?
542
00:20:34,949 --> 00:20:36,532
Oh, okay, you'll love this.
543
00:20:36,618 --> 00:20:38,741
You ever try negotiating
your bedtime?
544
00:20:39,662 --> 00:20:41,365
Yeah, how'd that go?
545
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:43,594
I heard
about this puberty thing,
546
00:20:43,679 --> 00:20:45,703
and, uh, no, thanks.
547
00:20:45,788 --> 00:20:47,491
- You guys like impressions?
- Yeah.
548
00:20:47,576 --> 00:20:48,598
- Yes!
- All right.
549
00:20:48,683 --> 00:20:49,945
Tell me if you know this one.
550
00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:53,148
Boo-hoo!
551
00:20:53,357 --> 00:20:55,541
Nobody likes my book!
552
00:20:55,657 --> 00:20:57,280
Oh!
553
00:20:57,427 --> 00:20:58,609
That is messed up.
554
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:02,306
Being a mum is so hard!
555
00:21:03,507 --> 00:21:05,971
Oh, no.
556
00:21:06,203 --> 00:21:08,708
Where do I recycle
my soy milk?
557
00:21:11,622 --> 00:21:14,747
They're just like that.
41208
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