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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,165 Happy Tofurky Day, everyone. 2 00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:06,203 Yeah, who's ready to celebrate 3 00:00:06,288 --> 00:00:08,908 the shameful legacy of colonialism? 4 00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:11,312 Okay, Sarah, coming in hot. 5 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,475 Yeah, sorry, I'm just a little... keyed up. 6 00:00:13,608 --> 00:00:15,672 It's not every day that you have to introduce your parents 7 00:00:15,756 --> 00:00:17,680 to your dad's secret child. 8 00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:19,188 Guys, I know that Thanksgiving 9 00:00:19,288 --> 00:00:21,953 is traditionally our special day of fighting, 10 00:00:22,053 --> 00:00:23,596 but it doesn't have to be. 11 00:00:23,696 --> 00:00:25,519 Let's welcome Harmony into our family 12 00:00:25,619 --> 00:00:27,978 with dignity and zero drama. 13 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:28,975 Mm... 14 00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:30,323 - Can't wait. - If you say so. 15 00:00:30,408 --> 00:00:31,673 Come on, you guys, we can do this. 16 00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:33,297 Harmony gets here an hour before Mum and Dad. 17 00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:34,758 That gives us plenty of time to prep her 18 00:00:34,842 --> 00:00:37,609 for Mum's reaction... Sorry, overreaction. 19 00:00:37,694 --> 00:00:39,515 Should we have done this in a public place, 20 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:40,891 you know, so that Mum can't have a freak-out? 21 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,142 Do you think an audience of strangers is gonna stop her? 22 00:00:43,226 --> 00:00:44,350 Do you not recall 23 00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,218 the container-store meltdown of 2015? 24 00:00:46,303 --> 00:00:48,087 Yeah. No, I'm grasping at straws. 25 00:00:48,195 --> 00:00:49,994 Guys, let's keep it positive around the kids. 26 00:00:50,078 --> 00:00:53,464 Hey, guys, you excited to me your new half-aunt, Harmony? 27 00:00:53,564 --> 00:00:54,866 Is she called a love child 28 00:00:54,966 --> 00:00:56,469 because Grandpa loves making babies? 29 00:00:56,569 --> 00:00:58,994 How many love babies does Grandma have? 30 00:00:59,094 --> 00:01:00,849 If Grandpa dies, does Harmony get any money? 31 00:01:00,934 --> 00:01:02,619 Where does Harmony stand politically, 32 00:01:02,704 --> 00:01:04,707 and how soon can we get into that? 33 00:01:06,184 --> 00:01:08,185 This is gonna be a fun Thanksgiving. 34 00:01:09,966 --> 00:01:11,747 *HOME ECONOMICS* Season 03 Episode 08 35 00:01:11,836 --> 00:01:13,653 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ Episode Title: "Wheel of Vegan Brie, $24" 36 00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:17,466 Man, Harmony's running late. 37 00:01:17,566 --> 00:01:19,045 And it's really cutting into our prep time. 38 00:01:19,129 --> 00:01:20,711 I need 20 minutes alone 39 00:01:20,811 --> 00:01:22,370 just to describe all of Mum's different smiles. 40 00:01:22,454 --> 00:01:24,458 - Ear to ear, run in fear. - Showing teeth... 41 00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:26,439 also run in fear. 42 00:01:26,524 --> 00:01:28,380 Guys, we knew today could be rough, 43 00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:30,537 so Denise and I planned some activities 44 00:01:30,622 --> 00:01:32,011 to help keep things light. 45 00:01:32,107 --> 00:01:34,415 And to avoid a emotional free-for-all... 46 00:01:34,515 --> 00:01:36,303 A Normals Agenda, if you will. 47 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,536 We pulled some classic board games to play 48 00:01:38,621 --> 00:01:40,805 as a low-stakes icebreaker. 49 00:01:40,914 --> 00:01:43,280 - Ooh, Monopoly? - Absolutely not Monopoly. 50 00:01:43,365 --> 00:01:45,475 And the kids are gonna put on a little talent show 51 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,147 just to provide a positive, 52 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,843 noncontroversial focus for everyone. 53 00:01:48,928 --> 00:01:50,952 Plus, if things go sideways, 54 00:01:51,052 --> 00:01:53,896 we have a foolproof distraction. 55 00:01:54,107 --> 00:01:56,171 Baby bomb! 56 00:01:56,256 --> 00:01:58,396 Can't have awkward tension with these guys around. 57 00:01:58,481 --> 00:01:59,543 Nah, I bet we can do it. 58 00:01:59,628 --> 00:02:01,131 Hey-o! 59 00:02:01,216 --> 00:02:02,685 - Hello. - Hi, bro. 60 00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:05,242 Hey. Harmony, you're here. 61 00:02:05,327 --> 00:02:08,501 - With Mum and Dad. - At the same time. 62 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,849 Hi, fam. 63 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,109 So, uh, how did this, um... 64 00:02:12,209 --> 00:02:13,768 Did you guys just bump into each other in the driveway? 65 00:02:13,852 --> 00:02:14,927 Oh, no, no, Tommy. 66 00:02:15,012 --> 00:02:16,958 Your mother and I got so excited, we got jumpy, 67 00:02:17,043 --> 00:02:19,056 and we texted Harmony a few days ago, 68 00:02:19,141 --> 00:02:21,445 and we have just hit it off great. 69 00:02:21,545 --> 00:02:23,184 Before we knew it, she was flying into Sacramento 70 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,068 to see us early. 71 00:02:24,153 --> 00:02:26,146 I just wanted to spend some quality time 72 00:02:26,231 --> 00:02:28,135 with my bio-dad and my bonus mum. 73 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,803 I'm a bonus mum. 74 00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:31,952 Wow. So we don't even have to introduce you. 75 00:02:32,037 --> 00:02:33,450 And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. 76 00:02:33,535 --> 00:02:35,950 We just got so caught up in the fun, and then we thought, 77 00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:38,835 "Why not just surprise them right after we"... 78 00:02:38,935 --> 00:02:41,720 "Escape from Alcatraz"? 79 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:44,525 You guys went to Alcatraz? It's, like, my favourite prison. 80 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:47,290 Oh, my God, it was so cool. We saw Al Capone's cell. 81 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,337 Well, more like Al Ca-phone. 82 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,013 It's an inside joke. 83 00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:55,250 You guys already have inside jokes. 84 00:02:55,335 --> 00:02:57,060 That's... that's great. 85 00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,086 Oh, and I couldn't show up without some presents 86 00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:00,888 for my new nieces and nephews. 87 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,836 That is so thoughtful. 88 00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,905 She's so special, this one. 89 00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:07,070 Dad, you're really snapping away there, aren't you? 90 00:03:07,155 --> 00:03:08,457 Hey, you got to capture 91 00:03:08,542 --> 00:03:10,062 these first few precious moments, Tommy. 92 00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,310 They're so fleeting. 93 00:03:11,432 --> 00:03:12,694 Oh, that's a framer. 94 00:03:15,473 --> 00:03:18,536 Well, she seems to be getting along great with Mum and Dad. 95 00:03:18,684 --> 00:03:20,564 Yeah, which is weird because we don't get along great 96 00:03:20,648 --> 00:03:23,313 - with Mum and Dad. - Yeah, what's her deal? 97 00:03:23,413 --> 00:03:24,835 Ah, I almost forgot. 98 00:03:24,935 --> 00:03:27,280 My small contribution to Thanksgiving... 99 00:03:27,395 --> 00:03:28,505 It's a vegan Brie 100 00:03:28,590 --> 00:03:30,934 from a local, Black-owned, gender-progressive fromagerie. 101 00:03:31,573 --> 00:03:33,196 Really? I love all those words. 102 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,225 Well, it's delicious and healthy. 103 00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:38,118 Speaking of, did I spy a gym back there? 104 00:03:38,206 --> 00:03:40,550 Yeah. You lift or...? 105 00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:42,762 I'm more into high-intensity interval training 106 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,630 - mixed with rock climbing. - Stop. 107 00:03:44,730 --> 00:03:46,449 I was thinking about putting a rock-climbing wall in there. 108 00:03:46,533 --> 00:03:47,675 - No. - Yeah. 109 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,708 - No. - Yeah. 110 00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,005 - You've got to. - I will. 111 00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:52,224 Yeah, but nothing beats bouldering in Boulder, 112 00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:54,451 'cause Colorado... it's not just about fitness. 113 00:03:54,536 --> 00:03:56,680 Like, it's also about communing with nature. 114 00:03:56,772 --> 00:03:59,197 We need the tonic of wildness. 115 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,185 - Are you quoting Thoreau? - Guilty. 116 00:04:01,270 --> 00:04:02,990 I reread "Walden" every year. 117 00:04:03,162 --> 00:04:04,810 You know, working for the National Parks, 118 00:04:04,895 --> 00:04:06,799 I'm mostly in the company of books, 119 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,020 which I guess makes me a bit of a nerd. 120 00:04:09,105 --> 00:04:11,891 Well, I Thoreau-ily disagree. 121 00:04:13,788 --> 00:04:15,412 Okay, well, I'm gonna put this in the fridge 122 00:04:15,496 --> 00:04:17,185 before it starts leaking. 123 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,529 Um, I think I figured out her deal. 124 00:04:21,714 --> 00:04:22,896 She's freakin' awesome. 125 00:04:22,981 --> 00:04:24,461 Why do I love her so much? 126 00:04:24,545 --> 00:04:27,255 Maybe because she's exactly like all of us. 127 00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:28,491 That's it. That's why. 128 00:04:28,575 --> 00:04:29,718 Yeah. 129 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,923 And we're the best. 130 00:04:32,202 --> 00:04:33,585 So here's a video 131 00:04:33,677 --> 00:04:35,620 of Harmony when we stopped for gas. 132 00:04:35,705 --> 00:04:38,232 She was so tuckered out, she fell asleep in the back seat. 133 00:04:38,317 --> 00:04:40,902 Aw. 134 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,688 Wow. She's really fitting in. 135 00:04:42,827 --> 00:04:45,172 - Yeah, it's great. - So great. 136 00:04:45,483 --> 00:04:47,707 Although I was hoping we'd have another outsider 137 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,990 - to join our team. - Hi, half-in-laws. 138 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,747 - Oh. Hey. - Hey. 139 00:04:51,847 --> 00:04:54,231 So how's your first Hayworth Thanksgiving going? 140 00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:56,099 Good, I think. I mean, I don't know. 141 00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:57,803 I don't really have much to compare it to. 142 00:04:57,887 --> 00:04:59,991 Oh, everyone here loves you. You're a hit. 143 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,177 I mean, we're embarrassed 144 00:05:01,262 --> 00:05:03,264 that we thought you were Tom's stalker the first night we met. 145 00:05:03,348 --> 00:05:04,372 No worries. 146 00:05:04,457 --> 00:05:07,149 I was so amped up, I would've thought I was a stalker. 147 00:05:07,234 --> 00:05:09,982 But then again, I listen to way too many crime podcasts. 148 00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:12,491 Shut up! You like true crime? 149 00:05:12,576 --> 00:05:14,162 What's your fave... Murders, kidnappings? 150 00:05:14,246 --> 00:05:16,127 Stealing someone's identity to bilk an elderly woman 151 00:05:16,211 --> 00:05:18,395 - out of her Nazi gold? - Oh, those are so much fun. 152 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,943 Oh, I'm into all of it. 153 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,332 I am obsessed with noir... 154 00:05:22,417 --> 00:05:25,282 Both the crime kind and Pinot. 155 00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,130 Who wants a top-off? 156 00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:29,593 - I love her. - I think we love her. 157 00:05:29,678 --> 00:05:31,682 Let's lock her in. 158 00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:35,234 So, Harmony, we're playing teams. 159 00:05:35,444 --> 00:05:37,748 And FYI, I was a runner-up on Teen "Jeopardy!" 160 00:05:37,833 --> 00:05:38,983 So I guess if you want to win, 161 00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,530 then you should maybe play with me. 162 00:05:40,686 --> 00:05:41,936 Yeah, and if you don't mind 163 00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:44,053 hearing this every time you get a wrong answer... 164 00:05:44,704 --> 00:05:45,786 "Oh, boy." 165 00:05:45,871 --> 00:05:47,900 They're just jealous because I'm undefeated. 166 00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:48,763 Come. Join me. 167 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,862 Or... or if you just want to have fun, 168 00:05:50,947 --> 00:05:53,532 pull up a chair and join your new partners in crime. 169 00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:55,599 Sometimes we forget we're even playing the game. 170 00:05:55,683 --> 00:05:58,669 No, I'm so sorry, gang, but Harmony's already on a team. 171 00:05:58,754 --> 00:06:00,677 Yeah, but it's so nice to be wanted. 172 00:06:00,762 --> 00:06:03,099 You three chuckle heads, why don't you be your own team? 173 00:06:03,184 --> 00:06:05,167 Fine, but don't say we didn't warn you. 174 00:06:06,559 --> 00:06:08,583 Come on, big money, no whammies. 175 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,652 Wait, wait, hold your horses there, Conny. 176 00:06:10,899 --> 00:06:12,041 Not your turn yet. 177 00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:14,036 But I always go first. 178 00:06:14,121 --> 00:06:16,466 The youngest goes first. Harmony. 179 00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:18,094 Oh, no, it's okay. 180 00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:19,333 She's older than me. 181 00:06:19,418 --> 00:06:21,121 Conny, you know what your mother meant. 182 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,560 The newest goes first. 183 00:06:24,614 --> 00:06:27,159 Okay, fine, but I already blew on them, so... 184 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,053 Oh, thank you. 185 00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:31,466 Looks like there's a new baby in the family, huh? 186 00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:32,991 First question... 187 00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:36,502 What ocean surrounds the Madeira Islands? 188 00:06:36,587 --> 00:06:37,880 Mm... 189 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,869 Well, they're a part of Paraguay. 190 00:06:39,954 --> 00:06:41,737 I'm gonna say... the Atlantic? 191 00:06:41,895 --> 00:06:43,943 - That's right. - Yes! Wow! 192 00:06:46,056 --> 00:06:47,146 Kind of a softball. 193 00:06:47,231 --> 00:06:48,708 I mean, there are only so many oceans, but... 194 00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:49,894 Hey, good job. 195 00:06:50,142 --> 00:06:51,644 Next question... 196 00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:53,106 The quadratic equation? 197 00:06:53,191 --> 00:06:54,388 Gadsden Purchase. 198 00:06:54,473 --> 00:06:56,016 "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo"? 199 00:06:56,101 --> 00:06:57,896 The Manhattan Project? The Komodo dragon. 200 00:06:57,981 --> 00:06:59,541 "Jack and the Beanstalk." Tectonic plates. 201 00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:00,944 A motorcycle. "Fiddler on the Roof." 202 00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:02,348 Whitney Houston. "White Men Can't Jump"! 203 00:07:02,432 --> 00:07:04,135 Somebody call Mensa. 204 00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:06,444 You know, you could be on regular "Jeopardy!" 205 00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:08,232 - Dad. - Dad. 206 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,896 Okay, so, um... 207 00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,638 Harmony again. 208 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,867 In which American Indian tribe... 209 00:07:14,952 --> 00:07:17,136 Ugh, this... these cards are out of date. 210 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,873 It should be Native American tribe. 211 00:07:18,958 --> 00:07:21,316 Actually, I believe the preferred term 212 00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:23,065 is "Indigenous peoples." 213 00:07:24,914 --> 00:07:27,435 Harmony taught me that on our drive from Sacramento. 214 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,985 - And you listened? - Oh, boy. 215 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,054 Muriel is so eager to learn. 216 00:07:32,139 --> 00:07:34,563 And did you know that the celebration of Thanksgiving 217 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,661 is actually very problematic. 218 00:07:36,746 --> 00:07:38,289 You should do some research, Sarah. 219 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,917 Gah... I should do some research. 220 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:42,787 Sarah, sweetie, you should try this vegan Brie. 221 00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,825 - Delicious. - I know. 222 00:07:44,918 --> 00:07:46,756 I've been trying to get you to eat that for years. 223 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,223 I don't think so. 224 00:07:48,404 --> 00:07:50,466 She's gonna blow. 225 00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:53,556 I think it's time to move on to another question. 226 00:07:54,554 --> 00:07:56,657 Which best-selling American author 227 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,527 also won an Oscar for the adaptation of his novel? 228 00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,888 - John Updike. Easy. - Tom, it is not your turn. 229 00:08:01,973 --> 00:08:03,201 She's getting all the easy questions. 230 00:08:03,285 --> 00:08:05,074 Actually, I think it's John Irving. 231 00:08:05,159 --> 00:08:06,221 - Right again. - Yes. 232 00:08:06,438 --> 00:08:08,061 Oh. 233 00:08:08,146 --> 00:08:09,826 - Sorry, what's happening? - It's an easy mistake... 234 00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:12,455 Updike, Irving, both titans of their craft. 235 00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,030 What are... Who... What are... What's going on? 236 00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:16,209 You have swept the board, chipmunk. 237 00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:17,726 Ah. 238 00:08:17,811 --> 00:08:20,568 - Oh, how cute. - Dad, enough with the camera. 239 00:08:20,653 --> 00:08:22,837 She's not a toddler. And I'm the chipmunk. 240 00:08:22,922 --> 00:08:25,242 I've been telling them about smallpox blankets for years. 241 00:08:25,327 --> 00:08:27,137 Irving. Of course, it's Irving. 242 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:30,962 Baby bomb. 243 00:08:31,049 --> 00:08:32,208 Look at their little bow ties. 244 00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:33,555 Oh, my gosh! 245 00:08:33,874 --> 00:08:35,877 This is, like, a freakin' disaster. 246 00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:42,434 Okay, is Harmony impressive? Absolutely. 247 00:08:42,519 --> 00:08:43,458 - No doubt. - Clearly. 248 00:08:43,543 --> 00:08:45,450 But what is going on with Mum and Dad? 249 00:08:45,535 --> 00:08:47,638 - They're, like, obsessed. - It's embarrassing. 250 00:08:47,723 --> 00:08:49,266 And they took her to Alcatraz? 251 00:08:49,351 --> 00:08:51,215 And they got all these little inside jokes? 252 00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,220 Sorry, they don't make any sense, guys. 253 00:08:53,304 --> 00:08:55,969 Yeah, and Mum is using terms like "unhoused population." 254 00:08:56,054 --> 00:08:58,119 I mean, she spends a couple hours in the car with Harmony, 255 00:08:58,203 --> 00:08:59,608 and all of a sudden, they're not hobos anymore. 256 00:08:59,692 --> 00:09:01,013 And I'm still the youngest, 257 00:09:01,098 --> 00:09:03,108 but they're treating me like I'm some kind of middle child. 258 00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:04,895 - What am I, a Sarah? - Ugh. 259 00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:06,643 You'll always be a baby to me. 260 00:09:06,775 --> 00:09:07,936 Thank you, Lupe. That means a lot. 261 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:10,052 Hey, how's everything going? 262 00:09:10,137 --> 00:09:11,737 Do you think it's time to start the talent show? 263 00:09:11,821 --> 00:09:14,080 Yeah, we really don't want to blow this, you know. 264 00:09:14,165 --> 00:09:16,790 Harmony is very important to us. 265 00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,177 To you. 266 00:09:18,262 --> 00:09:20,326 - To all of us. - Exactly. 267 00:09:20,411 --> 00:09:22,825 I mean, who cares which alliance she chooses? 268 00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,473 What the hell are you talking about? 269 00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:28,888 Hey, should we start the talent show? 270 00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:32,254 And the talent agent says, "What do you call yourselves?" 271 00:09:32,597 --> 00:09:35,182 And they go, "The Aristocrats." 272 00:09:38,364 --> 00:09:40,107 Ah, it's a thinker. 273 00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:44,017 Okay, performing first today, we have Kelvin, who will be... 274 00:09:44,344 --> 00:09:47,289 "throwing down some Gucci moves." 275 00:09:50,765 --> 00:09:52,468 I asked the kids to stretch this out. 276 00:09:52,553 --> 00:09:54,353 We just need everyone distracted until dinner. 277 00:09:54,437 --> 00:09:56,141 Oh, I gave Kelvin half a Red Bull, 278 00:09:56,226 --> 00:09:57,728 so he can go all day. 279 00:10:00,785 --> 00:10:03,811 ♪ And the rockets' red glare ♪ 280 00:10:03,911 --> 00:10:06,455 ♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪ 281 00:10:06,555 --> 00:10:08,868 My mum said she doesn't know how to braid hair. 282 00:10:08,953 --> 00:10:10,496 She's so focused on Harmony, 283 00:10:10,581 --> 00:10:12,644 she's completely ignoring her actual daughter. 284 00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:14,549 - Sarah? - Yeah. 285 00:10:14,649 --> 00:10:17,234 ♪ Oh, say does that... ♪ 286 00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:19,278 You go, baby! Whoo! 287 00:10:21,614 --> 00:10:22,821 You got this, honey. 288 00:10:22,906 --> 00:10:24,663 Remember, focus on the white corners. 289 00:10:24,748 --> 00:10:26,050 She had this at home. 290 00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:32,118 Good... good effort! 291 00:10:32,228 --> 00:10:34,052 So, uh... 292 00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:36,140 who here plays Roblox? 293 00:10:36,524 --> 00:10:37,673 Don't you hate it 294 00:10:37,758 --> 00:10:40,215 when you just finished building your house in Bloxburg, 295 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:42,324 but then all your friends leave to go play Piggy? 296 00:10:46,677 --> 00:10:48,140 I don't get it at all. 297 00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:50,928 Okay, what else? What else? 298 00:10:52,359 --> 00:10:54,218 I guess Harmony's pushing us out. 299 00:10:54,302 --> 00:10:55,893 We're being put out to pasture. 300 00:10:55,978 --> 00:10:57,004 Remember when we were kids? 301 00:10:57,088 --> 00:10:58,160 Put on a goofy talent show like this 302 00:10:58,244 --> 00:10:59,605 just to get Mum and Dad's attention? 303 00:10:59,689 --> 00:11:01,222 We should do that again. 304 00:11:05,745 --> 00:11:08,308 Idaho... Gem State. Washington... Evergreen State. 305 00:11:08,393 --> 00:11:09,616 Nevada... Silver State. 306 00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,123 Should we stop him? 307 00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:12,878 Should we? Yes. Can we? No. 308 00:11:13,618 --> 00:11:15,058 New Mexico... The Land of Enchantment. 309 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,526 - Go, Tommy! - Kansas... Sunflower State. 310 00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:20,075 Texas... Lone Star State. And that's all 50. 311 00:11:20,238 --> 00:11:21,821 Unh! What? 312 00:11:22,038 --> 00:11:23,100 What? 313 00:11:23,387 --> 00:11:24,814 Boom! 314 00:11:24,899 --> 00:11:26,963 Boom! Boom! 315 00:11:27,048 --> 00:11:29,072 That's my chipmunk. Look at him go! 316 00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:31,572 91, 92... 317 00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:32,816 No, Frederick, 318 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,804 I shall not be tossed aside, 319 00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:38,435 not I, who have sacrificed my stature and position 320 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,985 to look after your insufferable cousin. 321 00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:43,185 She's been going on for eight minutes. 322 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,693 Oh, she knows the whole play. 323 00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:46,842 Oh, no, this is freaking Harmony out. 324 00:11:46,927 --> 00:11:50,393 But this could be an opportunity for the Normals. 325 00:11:50,748 --> 00:11:51,967 Harmony. 326 00:11:52,052 --> 00:11:54,449 Hey, there. You good? 327 00:11:54,534 --> 00:11:56,240 Could you point me toward the bathroom? 328 00:11:56,325 --> 00:11:57,467 I-I thought I'd found it, 329 00:11:57,552 --> 00:12:00,107 but then, actually, it was more like an indoor ball pit? 330 00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:03,349 Oh, right. Yeah, that's Connor's indoor ball pit. 331 00:12:03,434 --> 00:12:04,816 Hey, just real quick... 332 00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:06,845 Uh, you know we're not like them. 333 00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:09,034 - Like who? - Like the Hayworths. 334 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:11,583 Yeah. I mean, we love them. We do. 335 00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:14,173 Um, but they have very fragile egos. 336 00:12:14,258 --> 00:12:15,654 And we do love them, 337 00:12:15,739 --> 00:12:17,539 but they just make everything about themselves, 338 00:12:17,623 --> 00:12:20,929 like holidays, regular days, Honda Days. 339 00:12:21,014 --> 00:12:23,865 Again, we love them so much, 340 00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,724 but they're a bunch of freaks. 341 00:12:26,735 --> 00:12:29,373 It has been a little overwhelming, honestly. 342 00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:32,650 I mean, I spend my days with black-tailed swallows, 343 00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:34,778 and I guess it's different being in the middle 344 00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:37,185 of a big family with big personalities. 345 00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:41,021 "Big personalities." Wow, that is very diplomatic. 346 00:12:41,185 --> 00:12:42,771 Harmony, you can be real with us. 347 00:12:42,856 --> 00:12:44,359 We're like you. We're normal. 348 00:12:44,509 --> 00:12:47,263 One of us, one of us. 349 00:12:47,348 --> 00:12:49,373 - One of us. - Bathroom. 350 00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:51,602 - One of us, one of us. - One of us, one of us. 351 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,599 So take me away, Mr. Constable. 352 00:12:53,684 --> 00:12:57,110 I will blissfully serve my time! 353 00:12:57,229 --> 00:12:59,694 Scene. 354 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,927 - Oh, wonderful. - Yes! 355 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,376 Brava! Brava! 356 00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:08,779 Stop. Guys, stop. 357 00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:11,088 More. Just kidding. 358 00:13:11,288 --> 00:13:13,092 Well, I'd say mission accomplished. 359 00:13:13,321 --> 00:13:15,666 - We might be too talented. - Right? 360 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:17,574 Mum and Dad were frickin' into it. 361 00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:18,912 We should do this every week. 362 00:13:18,997 --> 00:13:20,180 Well, turkey time? 363 00:13:20,265 --> 00:13:21,687 Well, no... hey, hold on. 364 00:13:21,772 --> 00:13:23,676 Harmony hasn't shared her talent. 365 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,607 Oh, no, no, no, that... that's okay. 366 00:13:25,692 --> 00:13:28,077 They were all amazing, and I can't compete with that. 367 00:13:28,162 --> 00:13:29,817 Yeah, we don't want to put her on the spot. 368 00:13:29,901 --> 00:13:31,615 Yeah, and it's not a competition, anyway. 369 00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,123 Yeah, it's not a competition. 370 00:13:33,208 --> 00:13:34,831 Guys, I don't have any special talents. 371 00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:37,896 Oh, don't be modest. Everybody has a special talent. 372 00:13:37,981 --> 00:13:40,205 Mine is acting, directing, and writing. 373 00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:41,888 I know you have something. 374 00:13:41,973 --> 00:13:43,427 Mum, she said she's not talented, 375 00:13:43,512 --> 00:13:45,616 so, you know, we should respect that. 376 00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,725 I guess I could do some bird calls. 377 00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:49,112 - Great. - Yes. 378 00:13:49,197 --> 00:13:50,740 - Yeah, yeah, bird calls. - Harmony. 379 00:13:50,825 --> 00:13:52,408 - Yeah. - Okay. 380 00:13:52,493 --> 00:13:55,347 Bird calls... okay. 381 00:13:55,432 --> 00:13:57,654 Let's go, Harmony. Whoo! 382 00:13:57,739 --> 00:14:02,907 Shh. Shh. 383 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,090 What's happening? 384 00:14:26,994 --> 00:14:28,617 She's like a real-life Snow White. 385 00:14:33,701 --> 00:14:35,204 We have to have her on our team. 386 00:14:35,289 --> 00:14:37,613 She's more powerful than I imagined. 387 00:14:39,611 --> 00:14:40,953 Thank you. 388 00:14:41,038 --> 00:14:42,862 Wow! 389 00:14:42,947 --> 00:14:46,012 - I have never been so proud! - Whoo! Beautiful! 390 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,224 That was beautiful. 391 00:14:48,309 --> 00:14:49,707 Huh. 392 00:14:50,197 --> 00:14:51,459 Whoa. 393 00:14:51,544 --> 00:14:53,728 Next time I'll plan something. 394 00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:56,733 She's better... at everything. 395 00:14:56,818 --> 00:14:58,441 I'm no longer the favourite child. 396 00:14:58,526 --> 00:15:00,870 Ah, I don't think you were the favourite. 397 00:15:00,955 --> 00:15:02,618 Hey, neither of you were the favourite. 398 00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:04,476 - Uh, get real, Sarah. - It definitely wasn't you. 399 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:05,544 What are you talking about? 400 00:15:05,629 --> 00:15:07,117 I literally have an email from Mum right here. 401 00:15:07,201 --> 00:15:09,145 - "Tom, you are my favourite." - Check this out. 402 00:15:09,372 --> 00:15:11,787 "Baby boy Connor, you're my favourite. 403 00:15:11,872 --> 00:15:13,045 Love, Mum." 404 00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:14,459 Mine probab... 405 00:15:14,544 --> 00:15:16,213 Mine probably went to spam, 'cause my... my phone's so old. 406 00:15:16,297 --> 00:15:17,800 Yeah, well, that doesn't matter. 407 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,600 Harmony's been getting all the emails now. 408 00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:20,654 You know what? I deleted it. I remember now. 409 00:15:20,739 --> 00:15:23,344 I-I deleted it, so it's gone forever. 410 00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:26,755 Sure. 411 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,272 Can you do other animals? 412 00:15:29,357 --> 00:15:30,764 We would love to hear a dolphin. 413 00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:32,325 Okay. 414 00:15:33,435 --> 00:15:35,795 Hope I can get through this without the water works. 415 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,154 Today's so special. 416 00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:40,100 I've always said I could never love my children more, 417 00:15:40,185 --> 00:15:43,651 but as it turns out, I could love more children. 418 00:15:43,751 --> 00:15:46,095 - Oh. - So glad Harmony stalked Tom 419 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,219 at his book reading and entered our lives. 420 00:15:48,319 --> 00:15:52,466 She's so smart and generous, and for that, I am so thankful. 421 00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:54,510 So happy Thanksgiving, everyone. 422 00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:56,473 - Hear, hear. - Cheers. 423 00:15:56,573 --> 00:16:00,040 - So true, Dad. - So... so true. 424 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,804 Not only is Harmony socially conscious 425 00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:04,169 and good at bird stuff, 426 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,626 but she has also made Mum happier than I've seen her 427 00:16:06,711 --> 00:16:09,116 since she turned my childhood bedroom into a craft room... 428 00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:12,262 Which she has never used, not once. 429 00:16:12,474 --> 00:16:15,068 It doesn't get good lighting. 430 00:16:15,154 --> 00:16:16,164 If I could just kind of piggyback 431 00:16:16,248 --> 00:16:18,492 onto Sarah's lovely toast... 432 00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:20,916 Um, I love the positive effect 433 00:16:21,016 --> 00:16:22,334 that Harmony's having on our family, 434 00:16:22,418 --> 00:16:23,881 especially Mum and Dad. 435 00:16:23,981 --> 00:16:25,380 I bet if she went to Space Camp, 436 00:16:25,465 --> 00:16:26,647 you wouldn't have been two hours late picking her up. 437 00:16:26,731 --> 00:16:29,065 - Right? - That was 30 years ago, Tommy. 438 00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:30,869 If I had been in space, I would've died, okay? 439 00:16:30,953 --> 00:16:33,418 All right, Tom, Sarah, let's chill. 440 00:16:33,503 --> 00:16:35,206 I think we're all missing the point here. 441 00:16:35,321 --> 00:16:38,186 It's Thanksgiving... we should be thankful for what we have, 442 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:41,206 which is a roof over our heads, food on the table, 443 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,834 and the fact that Mum and Dad 444 00:16:42,934 --> 00:16:44,854 have clearly found someone they love more than us. 445 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,482 - Oh, no, that is unkind. - D-a-amn. 446 00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:49,606 - Uncalled for, Conny. - It's very called for! 447 00:16:49,706 --> 00:16:51,345 Okay, we don't need to get so worked up. 448 00:16:51,429 --> 00:16:52,932 Tom, you are being a child. 449 00:16:53,032 --> 00:16:54,631 Tom, you are being a child. 450 00:16:54,715 --> 00:16:56,434 Do we have to do this on Indigenous Peoples Day? 451 00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:58,101 That's Columbus Day. 452 00:16:58,201 --> 00:17:00,021 I don't celebrate Columbus. He's a coloniser. 453 00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:01,547 I know! 454 00:17:01,632 --> 00:17:02,881 Should I say grace? I'm happy to say grace. 455 00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:03,833 Dad, why aren't you filming this, huh? 456 00:17:03,918 --> 00:17:05,614 Why don't you get your frickin' camcorder? 457 00:17:05,699 --> 00:17:07,098 Baby's first Thanksgiving, right, Dad? 458 00:17:09,805 --> 00:17:12,029 What is wrong with you people? 459 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,089 Do you not hear yourselves? 460 00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:17,412 You know, I came here trying to make a good impression on you, 461 00:17:17,497 --> 00:17:20,380 but... but it turns out you're a bunch of maniacs. 462 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,303 You're fighting over board games, 463 00:17:22,403 --> 00:17:24,867 and you're... you're competing for your parents' affection 464 00:17:24,967 --> 00:17:26,991 by horning in on a kids' talent show? 465 00:17:27,091 --> 00:17:28,950 Wasn't necessarily just for kids. 466 00:17:29,035 --> 00:17:30,979 - It said it on the sign. - True. 467 00:17:31,064 --> 00:17:32,446 I was looking so forward 468 00:17:32,531 --> 00:17:35,381 to having my first big family Thanksgiving 469 00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:37,287 with siblings and parents 470 00:17:37,372 --> 00:17:38,787 and two different green-bean dishes 471 00:17:38,872 --> 00:17:40,865 that no one likes anyway, and instead, I got this? 472 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,099 Harmony, we are so sorry. 473 00:17:43,199 --> 00:17:46,305 They should be ashamed of themselves. 474 00:17:46,405 --> 00:17:48,669 Oh, like you two can even talk, 475 00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:50,672 making mean jokes about your entire family 476 00:17:50,764 --> 00:17:51,435 behind their back? 477 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,813 And I'm gonna say it... You guys drink too much wine. 478 00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:57,833 Okay. 479 00:17:58,012 --> 00:17:59,355 I'm sorry. I should've... 480 00:17:59,588 --> 00:18:01,892 I should've never come here today. 481 00:18:01,992 --> 00:18:04,336 Although Alcatraz was really fun. 482 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:20,484 Hey, Harmony... 483 00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:22,528 Harmony's friend. 484 00:18:22,628 --> 00:18:24,411 - Susan. - Right. 485 00:18:24,511 --> 00:18:27,376 Look, we're sorry we let things get so out of control, 486 00:18:27,476 --> 00:18:29,220 fighting over our parents like that. 487 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,199 Yeah, they were just trying to make you feel welcome, 488 00:18:31,283 --> 00:18:34,188 and it just stirred up some insecurities in us 489 00:18:34,288 --> 00:18:36,392 that really have... have nothing to do with you. 490 00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:38,636 Sorry for botching your first Hayworth Thanksgiving. 491 00:18:38,736 --> 00:18:40,455 Thanksgiving was just never really a big deal 492 00:18:40,539 --> 00:18:41,669 for me growing up. 493 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,136 It was always just me and my mum. 494 00:18:43,369 --> 00:18:45,411 My cousins died in the mine. 495 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:48,028 I don't know... maybe I just put too much pressure on today, 496 00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:50,777 and then... yeah, then I went and ruined it. 497 00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,901 Hey, you didn't ruin anything. 498 00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,223 Come here, sis. 499 00:18:54,323 --> 00:18:55,669 Are we gonna talk about the mine? 500 00:18:55,754 --> 00:18:56,928 You know what proves that you're a Hayworth 501 00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,630 more than any DNA test? 502 00:18:59,715 --> 00:19:02,536 The fact that you joined in on our special day of fighting. 503 00:19:02,692 --> 00:19:05,082 Yeah, you're definitely one of us. 504 00:19:05,182 --> 00:19:07,486 Aw, thank you, 'cause you really pissed me off. 505 00:19:08,883 --> 00:19:10,323 Yeah, I never should've coined that term... 506 00:19:10,407 --> 00:19:11,709 "Our special day of fighting." 507 00:19:11,794 --> 00:19:13,563 - It keeps haunting us. - Uh, what? 508 00:19:13,648 --> 00:19:14,880 You didn't. 509 00:19:15,114 --> 00:19:17,226 I did, the year that you threw candied yams at Connor. 510 00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:19,283 Excuse me, I coined it 511 00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:21,432 on the Thanksgiving when we went to Ming Garden 512 00:19:21,531 --> 00:19:22,755 and you stormed out 513 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,037 'cause I put duck sauce in your iced tea. 514 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,641 Candied yams was well before duck iced tea. 515 00:19:25,725 --> 00:19:28,130 No, no, no, no, candied yams was after... 516 00:19:28,302 --> 00:19:30,406 No, it was... because we went to Six Flags that year. 517 00:19:30,506 --> 00:19:32,009 We didn't go to Six Flags that year. 518 00:19:32,109 --> 00:19:33,263 It happened at Six Flags. 519 00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:34,668 I remember because I'm the oldest. 520 00:19:34,765 --> 00:19:36,508 It happened when we went to Six Flags. 521 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:37,669 So this year, 522 00:19:37,754 --> 00:19:40,961 we're rooting for the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel... 523 00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:42,909 Small package, tons of personality. 524 00:19:42,994 --> 00:19:45,378 I don't know. I've got my eye on the Maltese. 525 00:19:45,463 --> 00:19:47,207 She may be a half-Hayworth, 526 00:19:47,292 --> 00:19:49,476 but she's also sort of half-Normal. 527 00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,483 And half bird. 528 00:19:55,229 --> 00:19:57,293 - We're not mean, are we? - Mm-mm. 529 00:20:00,478 --> 00:20:03,063 You know, Harmony, you should come for Christmas. 530 00:20:03,163 --> 00:20:04,302 Oh, we go all out. 531 00:20:04,387 --> 00:20:06,691 Yeah, one year I paid Tim Allen to fall off my roof. 532 00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:08,622 It wasn't Tim Allen. 533 00:20:08,735 --> 00:20:12,041 Ah... That is such a nice invitation. 534 00:20:12,219 --> 00:20:13,958 But you're not coming. 535 00:20:14,043 --> 00:20:16,381 Yeah, I think it might be a little soon. 536 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,570 I mean, I-I've had so much fun with you guys, 537 00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:22,056 but, you know, your family's a lot. 538 00:20:22,148 --> 00:20:23,201 Yeah, we've heard that before. 539 00:20:23,285 --> 00:20:24,707 Yeah, for sure, for sure. 540 00:20:25,121 --> 00:20:26,318 But we're still taking you 541 00:20:26,402 --> 00:20:27,967 to acquarium this week end, right? 542 00:20:34,949 --> 00:20:36,532 Oh, okay, you'll love this. 543 00:20:36,618 --> 00:20:38,741 You ever try negotiating your bedtime? 544 00:20:39,662 --> 00:20:41,365 Yeah, how'd that go? 545 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:43,594 I heard about this puberty thing, 546 00:20:43,679 --> 00:20:45,703 and, uh, no, thanks. 547 00:20:45,788 --> 00:20:47,491 - You guys like impressions? - Yeah. 548 00:20:47,576 --> 00:20:48,598 - Yes! - All right. 549 00:20:48,683 --> 00:20:49,945 Tell me if you know this one. 550 00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:53,148 Boo-hoo! 551 00:20:53,357 --> 00:20:55,541 Nobody likes my book! 552 00:20:55,657 --> 00:20:57,280 Oh! 553 00:20:57,427 --> 00:20:58,609 That is messed up. 554 00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:02,306 Being a mum is so hard! 555 00:21:03,507 --> 00:21:05,971 Oh, no. 556 00:21:06,203 --> 00:21:08,708 Where do I recycle my soy milk? 557 00:21:11,622 --> 00:21:14,747 They're just like that. 41208

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