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1
00:00:08,428 --> 00:00:10,770
- Will!
- Ah! Don't do that!
2
00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:13,781
You're like a gay Jack-in-the-box
3
00:00:16,489 --> 00:00:20,781
I'm up for the part of
"Male Corpse on Slab."
4
00:00:23,008 --> 00:00:23,948
I don't know what that means
5
00:00:23,948 --> 00:00:27,420
but "wear a condom" seems like
an appropriate response
6
00:00:28,347 --> 00:00:33,082
Ah! Wait! Hey, hey, hey
I'm auditioning for "Six Feet Under."
7
00:00:33,082 --> 00:00:36,490
You know, that new show
by the acclaimed screenwriter Alan Ball?
8
00:00:36,490 --> 00:00:38,559
Tehh... ball
9
00:00:38,559 --> 00:00:40,506
The corpse is
like, in three scenes
10
00:00:40,506 --> 00:00:42,861
and it's the glue that holds
the whole story together
11
00:00:42,861 --> 00:00:44,064
Well, for what it's worth
12
00:00:44,064 --> 00:00:46,380
I've seen you act
and I feel totally confident
13
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:50,048
that you have the emotional range
to play a dead man
14
00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:53,296
Thank you
15
00:00:55,805 --> 00:01:00,309
Pssst!
I'm enjoying your blouse today
16
00:01:04,911 --> 00:01:09,551
You know, Sarah Michelle Gellar is
really smart
17
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:12,297
I mean, at the beginning
of this interview
18
00:01:12,297 --> 00:01:14,577
she's just talkin' about stuff
like where she gets her highlights
19
00:01:14,577 --> 00:01:20,768
but then she starts in on foreign affairs
and campaign finance reform
20
00:01:20,768 --> 00:01:24,148
I'm gonna say it...
She's a genius
21
00:01:24,723 --> 00:01:26,267
Let me see that
22
00:01:27,096 --> 00:01:28,599
Hmm...
Interesting
23
00:01:28,599 --> 00:01:30,256
Yeah. See?
these pages are stuck together
24
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:33,732
You've been reading an interview with
John McCain
25
00:01:35,622 --> 00:01:38,031
Here's the rest of Sarah Michelle
26
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:42,324
"And even after all these years
limos are way cool."
27
00:01:45,186 --> 00:01:47,307
Yeah. I probably
should've figured it out
28
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:51,044
when she started talking about
her time in a P.O.W. camp
29
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,388
Ooh, uh, before I forget
I need you to write me a check
30
00:01:53,388 --> 00:01:55,597
There's this guy, Ted Bowers
He's running for city council
31
00:01:55,597 --> 00:01:57,174
I really think
we should support him
32
00:01:57,174 --> 00:01:58,487
Well, what do we know about him?
33
00:01:58,487 --> 00:02:00,290
He's gay
34
00:02:00,591 --> 00:02:04,000
- And?
- And... he's gay
35
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:04,965
But what's he for?
36
00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:07,228
I mean, you know, where does
he stand on the issues?
37
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,005
What do you care?
38
00:02:08,005 --> 00:02:10,931
You thought Buffy was in a
prisoner of war camp
39
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,508
I'm just wondering
what are his positions?
40
00:02:15,508 --> 00:02:18,816
I don't know
I think he's a top
41
00:02:22,799 --> 00:02:23,635
Come on
Write a check already
42
00:02:23,635 --> 00:02:26,091
You should support gay men
Gay men support you
43
00:02:26,091 --> 00:02:27,065
How much?
44
00:02:27,065 --> 00:02:29,881
The limit's 500
Most people are giving, like, 250
45
00:02:29,881 --> 00:02:33,705
Heh! Well, I am not most people
46
00:02:34,468 --> 00:02:35,919
"100."
47
00:02:36,873 --> 00:02:37,933
Give me a break
48
00:02:37,933 --> 00:02:42,548
I just gave 500 to the Paul Smith
fabulous boot foundation
49
00:02:49,316 --> 00:02:51,653
Another important gay cause
50
00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:07,690
Will & Grace
Season 4
51
00:03:16,881 --> 00:03:20,234
Once again, I find myself
in the horns of a dilemma
52
00:03:21,656 --> 00:03:25,423
Once again, the appropriate response
seems to be: "wear a condom."
53
00:03:26,835 --> 00:03:27,430
No
54
00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:32,326
Elliot and I were preparing a VIP guest list
for the fanglamorous party I'm throwing
55
00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:33,531
when my episode airs
56
00:03:33,531 --> 00:03:34,545
You got the part?
57
00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:38,300
No, um, not yet
But.. Watch this
58
00:03:44,171 --> 00:03:45,570
Wow
59
00:03:46,379 --> 00:03:49,825
I feel like I'm looking through
the eyes of every one of your lovers
60
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,225
Thank you
61
00:03:52,686 --> 00:03:54,514
Anyway, Elliot doesn't
want me to invite Karen
62
00:03:54,514 --> 00:03:58,683
He doesn't like her
Can you believe it?
63
00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:01,759
Kids today are so weird
64
00:04:01,759 --> 00:04:03,587
You know, when I was a kid
we couldn't wait to hang out
65
00:04:03,587 --> 00:04:06,406
with the local insensitive drunk
66
00:04:07,251 --> 00:04:11,916
I run this by Karen, and it turns out
she does not care for Elliot either
67
00:04:11,916 --> 00:04:12,934
Why?
68
00:04:12,934 --> 00:04:18,279
He's polite. He's sweet. He's kind
I think I just answered my own question
69
00:04:18,943 --> 00:04:22,147
I mean, what am I supposed to do?
What--?
70
00:04:24,103 --> 00:04:26,353
Ok, I know. I know
I got it. I got it
71
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,455
I'm gonna stage a phony robbery
72
00:04:28,455 --> 00:04:29,901
Yeah. I'm gonna tie 'em
back-to-back in chairs
73
00:04:29,901 --> 00:04:31,388
until they're forced to get along
74
00:04:31,388 --> 00:04:34,642
and I'm gonna wear
a stocking on my head
75
00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:42,157
Taupe
76
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,185
Or maybe eggplant...
77
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:48,337
Doesn't matter, doesn't matter
It doesn't matter. I can decide later
78
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:50,316
That's the fun part
79
00:04:50,598 --> 00:04:54,376
Why don't you just
sit them down and talk it out?
80
00:04:55,201 --> 00:04:57,524
Uh-huh. Uh-huh
81
00:04:57,524 --> 00:05:02,347
That could work, although...
Where do the panty-hose come in?
82
00:05:04,879 --> 00:05:07,222
You can always just wear
them under your slacks
83
00:05:07,592 --> 00:05:09,964
You are always
one step ahead of me
84
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:14,273
I hate that about you!
And I love that about you!
85
00:05:20,606 --> 00:05:22,815
Hey, Mrs. Friedman
how are things on the eighth floor?
86
00:05:22,815 --> 00:05:25,965
I'm not talking to you, Grace Adler
and you should be ashamed of yourself
87
00:05:25,965 --> 00:05:29,588
I swear, the elevator smelled
like this before I got on
88
00:05:35,054 --> 00:05:38,258
I'm not talking about that
I'm talking about your button
89
00:05:38,258 --> 00:05:41,063
I can't believe
you're supporting that man
90
00:05:41,063 --> 00:05:43,615
Ted Bowers happens to be
an excellent candidate
91
00:05:43,615 --> 00:05:44,855
Ptewey!
92
00:05:44,855 --> 00:05:47,839
Your candidate
sucks my rain boots
93
00:05:49,614 --> 00:05:51,959
Hey, I like Ted Bowers
and he's gay
94
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:53,107
and I think it's high time
95
00:05:53,107 --> 00:05:54,960
we had gay representation
on the city council
96
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,315
especially in a society that still
undervalues the rights of gay people
97
00:05:58,315 --> 00:06:01,926
Fine. Do what you want
Me, I'm voting for the Jewish woman
98
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,846
There's a Jewish woman running?
99
00:06:07,179 --> 00:06:09,288
Rosario, where the hell are you?
100
00:06:09,288 --> 00:06:12,797
Get your rump into the rumpus room
and get rid of all this junk
101
00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:16,972
Lady, I told you the doctor said
I shouldn't lift anything
102
00:06:16,972 --> 00:06:18,702
I've pulled a muscle
103
00:06:18,702 --> 00:06:20,225
Oh, honey, I'm sorry
104
00:06:20,225 --> 00:06:22,044
I keep forgetting you're laid up
105
00:06:22,044 --> 00:06:23,530
Can I get you anything?
106
00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:27,411
Well...actually
I could use a bowl of sou--
107
00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:34,165
Hey, Kare
what you doin' in the play room?
108
00:06:34,165 --> 00:06:36,360
Oh. Hi, honey
109
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,398
Since Stan's in the clink
110
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:40,533
and the stepkids are spendin'
most of their time with first wife
111
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:43,461
I decided to turn it
into something useful
112
00:06:43,461 --> 00:06:47,703
you know, like a laboratory
or an Indian casino
113
00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:50,913
Oh, wow, you got an X-Box!
114
00:06:50,913 --> 00:06:52,832
Hey, hey, hey!
115
00:06:55,804 --> 00:06:59,963
Just because my husband's in prison
does not mean you can talk dirty to me
116
00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:03,123
What the hell is
he doin' here anyway?
117
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,472
He is here because I cannot tolerate
two of the most important people in my life
118
00:07:06,472 --> 00:07:07,498
not getting along
119
00:07:07,498 --> 00:07:11,579
Now, I will not have my family
go the way of other showbiz families
120
00:07:12,874 --> 00:07:14,974
So the three of us are
gonna stay in this room
121
00:07:14,974 --> 00:07:16,843
until you two can
find a love for each other
122
00:07:16,843 --> 00:07:19,860
and nobody, but nobody is
leaving until we get this done!
123
00:07:21,304 --> 00:07:21,766
Oh, my God!
124
00:07:21,766 --> 00:07:22,897
My corpse audition
just got moved up!
125
00:07:22,897 --> 00:07:23,686
I gotta run
126
00:07:23,686 --> 00:07:25,357
Listen, you two work it out
127
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:27,663
- Remember, find the love!
- Hey! Wh--! Honey, I--!
128
00:07:36,446 --> 00:07:38,798
Uh... So, listen, I need a check
129
00:07:38,798 --> 00:07:39,557
What for?
130
00:07:39,557 --> 00:07:42,190
Judy Green
She's running for city council
131
00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:43,855
and I think we should support her
132
00:07:43,855 --> 00:07:45,013
But we're backing Ted Bowers
133
00:07:45,013 --> 00:07:47,299
Well, I found out a few things
about him that makes me think
134
00:07:47,299 --> 00:07:48,583
I should support
the other candidate
135
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:49,287
Like what?
136
00:07:49,287 --> 00:07:52,093
Like he's running against a woman
137
00:07:52,603 --> 00:07:55,159
So? Who is she?
What do we know about her?
138
00:07:55,159 --> 00:07:55,944
She's a woman
139
00:07:55,944 --> 00:07:57,195
- And?
- And she's Jewish
140
00:07:57,195 --> 00:07:59,289
- And?
- And she's a woman
141
00:07:59,786 --> 00:08:01,294
So what?
What are her positions?
142
00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:03,380
I don't know. She's Jewish
She probably just lays there
143
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:05,061
Come on
Write the check!
144
00:08:09,998 --> 00:08:11,668
I am not gonna write you a check
145
00:08:11,668 --> 00:08:13,424
That would just cancel out
the check you wrote me
146
00:08:13,424 --> 00:08:14,211
I know
147
00:08:14,211 --> 00:08:16,598
That's why I've already
stopped payment on mine
148
00:08:16,598 --> 00:08:17,103
Now, come on
149
00:08:17,103 --> 00:08:19,763
Make it payable to
"Judy Green for City Council."
150
00:08:19,763 --> 00:08:24,095
All right
Is a zillion dollars enough?
151
00:08:24,502 --> 00:08:26,178
Come on!
Women need a voice on the city council
152
00:08:26,178 --> 00:08:29,165
I mean, 50% of
the population is women
153
00:08:29,165 --> 00:08:32,917
So, one could argue that
80% of the population is gay
154
00:08:33,644 --> 00:08:36,186
They just don't know it yet
155
00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:40,667
Anyway, this is not about statistics
This is about who has the better candidate
156
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,531
Well, what makes you think
that you have the better candidate?
157
00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:43,440
Grace, he's gay
158
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:48,320
Well, mine's a woman and Jewish
That makes two victims to your one
159
00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:51,218
Since when are you
so Jewish anyway?
160
00:08:51,218 --> 00:08:55,059
You're about as Jewish
as Melanie Griffith in A Stranger Among Us
161
00:08:56,390 --> 00:09:00,201
Well, you're about as gay as
Tom Sellick in In and Out
162
00:09:00,732 --> 00:09:01,940
I am plenty gay
163
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:04,646
When was the last time
you had same-sex sex?
164
00:09:04,646 --> 00:09:05,548
I'm choosy!
165
00:09:05,548 --> 00:09:07,886
Ha! You're straight!
Go watch a basketball game!
166
00:09:07,886 --> 00:09:08,683
Yeah?
167
00:09:10,023 --> 00:09:12,981
Well, you're barely a woman
You pee standing up!
168
00:09:13,723 --> 00:09:17,869
Hey! There are a lot of diseases
you can get from a toilet seat!!
169
00:09:19,488 --> 00:09:21,577
Our own?!
170
00:09:22,877 --> 00:09:24,841
Well, I never thought
that I would hear this from you!
171
00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:27,582
- You hate women!
- Well, you hate gays!
172
00:09:30,064 --> 00:09:31,904
- My room
- Whatever
173
00:09:42,156 --> 00:09:43,284
- Hey
- Hi
174
00:09:45,186 --> 00:09:48,104
I'm sorry
I said some harsh things before
175
00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:50,330
You know, like
"you're not a woman."
176
00:09:50,330 --> 00:09:52,919
My God, look at you
you're all woman
177
00:09:52,919 --> 00:09:55,441
You're gorgeous
you're hot, you're sexy
178
00:09:55,441 --> 00:09:57,325
When I look at you
all I can think about is
179
00:09:57,325 --> 00:10:01,306
being with that
Croatian guy from "ER."
180
00:10:04,309 --> 00:10:06,096
Aw, sweetie
181
00:10:06,578 --> 00:10:09,190
You know, I said some
pretty harsh things, too
182
00:10:09,936 --> 00:10:11,888
You are plenty gay
183
00:10:12,628 --> 00:10:16,171
If you were any gayer
you'd be Elton John's fanny pack
184
00:10:18,964 --> 00:10:20,982
You don't have to say that
185
00:10:21,553 --> 00:10:23,109
No, I mean it
186
00:10:23,109 --> 00:10:27,200
Well, if I implied that you're
anything less than a big Jew, I'm sorry
187
00:10:30,142 --> 00:10:31,124
Thank you
188
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:36,351
Let's just agree to disagree
support our candidates
189
00:10:36,351 --> 00:10:37,947
and just not make a big thing of it
190
00:10:37,947 --> 00:10:39,475
Agreed
I knew you'd feel that way
191
00:10:39,475 --> 00:10:41,122
Which is why I know
you'll have no problem with me
192
00:10:41,122 --> 00:10:43,977
having a little Ted Bowers
neighborhood fund-raiser here?
193
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,195
Not at all
194
00:10:45,195 --> 00:10:49,202
In fact, I've already agreed to host
a Judy Green fund-raiser here, too
195
00:10:49,202 --> 00:10:50,559
- Huh!
- Huh
196
00:10:51,928 --> 00:10:52,971
When's yours?
197
00:10:52,971 --> 00:10:53,644
Tonight
198
00:10:53,644 --> 00:10:54,368
Change it
199
00:10:54,368 --> 00:10:54,983
No!
200
00:10:54,983 --> 00:10:55,516
Stop it!
201
00:10:55,516 --> 00:10:56,948
You stop!
202
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:09,119
Ok, so I guess we're supposed to
talk about what bugs us about each other
203
00:11:09,119 --> 00:11:11,456
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
204
00:11:14,085 --> 00:11:15,705
Ok, I'll go first
205
00:11:15,705 --> 00:11:19,058
Hmm. Kinda pushy for
a 5-year-old, aren't ya?
206
00:11:20,918 --> 00:11:22,017
I'm 12
207
00:11:22,017 --> 00:11:25,993
Huh. So you lie about your age
so that you can drink
208
00:11:25,993 --> 00:11:27,473
or...?
209
00:11:28,866 --> 00:11:30,534
This is what it is about you
210
00:11:30,534 --> 00:11:33,644
you're weird
You're a weird woman
211
00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:38,679
And you kinda look like the demon
who guards the tomb in "Tomb Raider."
212
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:44,392
Don't even try and flatter me, kid
213
00:11:45,561 --> 00:11:48,375
Ok, look, I'm not happy
about this, either
214
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:52,569
but Jack asked us to do it
and he's important to both of us
215
00:11:52,569 --> 00:11:53,915
so I think we should at least try
216
00:11:53,915 --> 00:11:54,933
Ok, oh!
217
00:11:54,933 --> 00:11:57,392
This is what really
bugs me about you
218
00:11:57,392 --> 00:11:58,923
the way you talk
219
00:11:58,923 --> 00:12:00,363
You're honest
you've got no agenda
220
00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:03,583
you're not manipulative
It's like you're talkin' in code!
221
00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:08,770
Ok, well, how do you want me to talk?
222
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:12,811
Oh, honey, I don't care
Just quit bein' such a goody two shoes
223
00:12:12,811 --> 00:12:16,117
- I am not a goody two shoes
- Oh, yeah?
224
00:12:16,117 --> 00:12:19,954
Don't drink, don't smoke
what do ya do?
225
00:12:23,112 --> 00:12:25,886
I am bad
I'm bad news
226
00:12:25,886 --> 00:12:27,513
Come on, two shoes!
227
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:30,392
You've never done a bad thing
in your whole life
228
00:12:30,392 --> 00:12:32,157
Oh, yeah?
Watch this
229
00:12:32,157 --> 00:12:33,418
- Pick that up!
- Sorry
230
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:35,373
Two shoes
231
00:12:37,962 --> 00:12:39,832
Ok, well, how about this?
232
00:12:39,832 --> 00:12:43,936
Sometimes when my mom's not home
I make phoney phone calls
233
00:12:43,936 --> 00:12:46,823
They're rude
and they inconvenience people
234
00:12:48,299 --> 00:12:50,623
What kind of phoney phone calls?
235
00:12:50,623 --> 00:12:53,941
Well, once I called a butcher
and asked if he had pig's feet
236
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:58,282
He said, "Yeah," and I said
"Must be hard to find shoes."
237
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,348
then I hung up
238
00:13:01,337 --> 00:13:04,975
Ahh... You call that a phoney?
Boy, have you got a lot to learn
239
00:13:04,975 --> 00:13:07,065
Watch this, midget
240
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:16,629
Hello?
241
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,404
Hello
242
00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:23,277
This is Nurse Bigrack from
Dr. La-bop-duh-duhp-boop-boop's office
243
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:28,103
Got good news for ya
It's time to start your physical therapy
244
00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:29,427
What?
245
00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:31,373
Why are you calling me so late?
246
00:13:31,373 --> 00:13:33,365
Well, with that kind of an attitude
we're not gonna get anywhere
247
00:13:33,365 --> 00:13:35,529
Now, let's start with some neck rolls
248
00:13:35,529 --> 00:13:37,249
Neck rolls?
249
00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:39,479
The doctor said I should rest it
250
00:13:39,479 --> 00:13:42,399
Yeah? Well, he changed his mind
Start rollin'
251
00:13:45,153 --> 00:13:47,839
Ah! Oh, that hurts
252
00:13:49,466 --> 00:13:53,202
Oh! Especially when I do it to the right
253
00:13:53,202 --> 00:13:55,536
Oh, dear, I couldn't
hear what you just said
254
00:13:55,536 --> 00:13:58,322
but it's better if you do
them all to the right
255
00:14:01,385 --> 00:14:02,846
Ow-wee! Ow-wee!
Oh... Ow-wee!
256
00:14:18,486 --> 00:14:20,341
Would you tell your people
to stay away from the mini-quiches, ok?
257
00:14:20,341 --> 00:14:21,905
I made them for my people
258
00:14:21,905 --> 00:14:26,528
God, quiche for a gay fund-raiser
could you be any more stereotypical?
259
00:14:26,852 --> 00:14:29,747
And, by the way, tell your people
to stay away from my lox
260
00:14:30,596 --> 00:14:31,046
Would you look at that?
261
00:14:31,046 --> 00:14:33,010
One of your women just
drifted over to the fireplace
262
00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:36,837
which we clearly agreed was my area
since the gay's need soft light
263
00:14:40,135 --> 00:14:42,921
Grace, this is a lovely party
264
00:14:42,921 --> 00:14:46,831
I guess the belly lox
was too expensive, huh?
265
00:14:46,831 --> 00:14:50,411
Still, people seem to be
enjoying themselves
266
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,768
I think we'll raise
a lot of money here tonight
267
00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:54,158
Well, good
I hope so
268
00:14:54,158 --> 00:14:55,154
You just hit everyone up
269
00:14:55,154 --> 00:14:56,890
It's the least that they can do
270
00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:59,377
And where's your check?
271
00:14:59,669 --> 00:15:01,748
Well, what do you mean?
I'm throwing the party
272
00:15:01,748 --> 00:15:03,448
That's my contribution
273
00:15:04,199 --> 00:15:07,313
You know, there's
an old Jewish expression--
274
00:15:07,313 --> 00:15:10,852
"You're cheap
and your husband's gay."
275
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,230
Mr. Zamir?
276
00:15:19,029 --> 00:15:20,779
- Mr. Zamir?!
- What? What?!
277
00:15:20,779 --> 00:15:22,916
Happy Birthday!
278
00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:26,163
Wait a minute
You're supporting Ted Bowers?
279
00:15:26,163 --> 00:15:28,068
Sure. Ted. Yes
280
00:15:28,068 --> 00:15:30,087
Yeah, but just a minute ago
you were over on the Judy Green side
281
00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:33,883
Yes, but then they ran out of
black-and-white cookies
282
00:15:34,437 --> 00:15:36,008
Who invited you, anyway?
283
00:15:36,008 --> 00:15:38,822
I'm here to complain
about the noise
284
00:15:41,164 --> 00:15:43,223
- Hey, Ted
- Hi, Judy
285
00:15:43,223 --> 00:15:44,758
Well, this is
quite the coincidence
286
00:15:44,758 --> 00:15:45,892
- He wouldn't cancel
- She wouldn't cancel
287
00:15:45,892 --> 00:15:46,582
Stop doing that
288
00:15:46,582 --> 00:15:48,162
You stop!
289
00:15:50,691 --> 00:15:52,145
Good evening, everybody
290
00:15:52,145 --> 00:15:53,841
A lot of candidates in this race
291
00:15:53,841 --> 00:15:57,566
wanna tell you that there's
an easy solution to our city's problems
292
00:15:57,566 --> 00:16:01,133
Well, I'm here to
tell you, there's not
293
00:16:04,186 --> 00:16:07,666
Was that not an applause line?
'Cause it felt like one
294
00:16:08,063 --> 00:16:11,943
For instance... Homelessness
Now, this is an awful, awful problem
295
00:16:11,943 --> 00:16:15,697
and one solution that
I advocate is give them a hot meal
296
00:16:15,697 --> 00:16:16,502
Mm-hmm
297
00:16:16,502 --> 00:16:18,107
- Give them a shower
- Uh-huh
298
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,927
Put them on a bus and get them
the hell out of our city
299
00:16:20,927 --> 00:16:21,960
A-- What?
300
00:16:23,131 --> 00:16:26,407
So, in conclusion
women in the home
301
00:16:26,407 --> 00:16:29,284
force those foreigners
to speak our language
302
00:16:29,284 --> 00:16:33,843
and if God didn't want some people
to be poor, he'd give them money
303
00:16:34,414 --> 00:16:36,378
He is very good
304
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:41,459
And now...
Let's hear from a real candidate
305
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:45,676
Ladies and gentlemen, Judy Green
306
00:16:46,833 --> 00:16:48,502
Thank you, Grace
307
00:16:48,502 --> 00:16:54,370
Let me start by saying how gratifying
it is to see so many white faces here tonight
308
00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:55,499
Goh!
309
00:16:59,043 --> 00:17:01,579
No, Marlo
Why would I be kidding about that?
310
00:17:01,579 --> 00:17:03,284
Phil is my father
311
00:17:03,284 --> 00:17:04,566
And I wouldn't be
calling you except
312
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,707
that he stopped making
his child-support payments
313
00:17:06,707 --> 00:17:09,058
and my mom can't raise me on
just a stripper's salary
314
00:17:09,058 --> 00:17:10,421
You are so amusing
315
00:17:11,650 --> 00:17:14,238
You can't laugh because
when you laugh, I laugh
316
00:17:14,238 --> 00:17:15,445
I'm sorry, honey
317
00:17:15,445 --> 00:17:16,993
It's just that there ain't nothin'
318
00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:20,025
I enjoy more than
yankin' Phil Donahue's chain
319
00:17:22,311 --> 00:17:24,768
And by chain
of course, I mean Marlo
320
00:17:26,352 --> 00:17:27,331
Ahh, I'm hungry
321
00:17:27,331 --> 00:17:28,311
Can I have something to eat?
322
00:17:28,311 --> 00:17:30,758
Oh, whoaho!
Come on
323
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,559
Now, how do we
ask for something to eat?
324
00:17:33,947 --> 00:17:36,538
- Uh, where's the damn food?!
- There's my boy
325
00:17:37,953 --> 00:17:40,543
Ok, go across the hall
to Mason's bedroom
326
00:17:40,543 --> 00:17:43,589
Yeah, there's a cake carousel
next to the pinball machine
327
00:17:43,909 --> 00:17:45,534
You know what?
You're not so bad
328
00:17:45,534 --> 00:17:46,700
Yeah?
329
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,358
Well, you're not so good
330
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:49,553
Now, scram
331
00:17:59,617 --> 00:18:00,649
Hello?
332
00:18:00,649 --> 00:18:02,818
Hey, Rosie, how you holdin' up?
333
00:18:02,818 --> 00:18:06,940
Oh, the doctor wants me
to do head rolls
334
00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:09,112
- Neck rolls
- What?!
335
00:18:13,324 --> 00:18:15,209
Hi
Where's Elliot?
336
00:18:15,209 --> 00:18:16,635
Oh, he went to get a snack
337
00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:19,466
So how was your audition
for "Six Feet Under"?
338
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,650
Terrible
339
00:18:20,903 --> 00:18:23,084
Why? What happened?
You didn't get the part?
340
00:18:23,084 --> 00:18:23,606
No
341
00:18:24,278 --> 00:18:26,682
The casting assistant was gorgeous
342
00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:31,224
and as convincing as my performance
was for Male Corpse on Slab
343
00:18:31,224 --> 00:18:35,139
there was one part of me
that refused to play dead
344
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,551
I see
345
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:42,908
So you would have only been
five and a half feet under
346
00:18:46,546 --> 00:18:48,787
Do not underestimate me!
347
00:18:50,842 --> 00:18:52,868
Hey, Jack, how'd the audition go?
348
00:18:52,868 --> 00:18:54,660
I think I got it
349
00:18:55,595 --> 00:18:58,057
Uh, so, let's pick up
where we left off, ok?
350
00:18:58,057 --> 00:19:02,168
Now, my life is gonna be
spent in front of cameras
351
00:19:02,477 --> 00:19:06,395
and I need my personal assistant
and my manager to get along
352
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,509
It's ok, Jack
We're fine
353
00:19:08,509 --> 00:19:09,588
Really?
354
00:19:11,272 --> 00:19:12,670
She give you money?
355
00:19:14,224 --> 00:19:14,745
No
356
00:19:15,341 --> 00:19:18,446
Oh. Ok, all right
357
00:19:18,446 --> 00:19:20,990
Whatever she gave you
you're splittin' it with me in the cab
358
00:19:21,782 --> 00:19:22,910
Ok, come on
let's go
359
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:23,946
I promised your mom you'd be home
360
00:19:23,946 --> 00:19:25,896
- Come on. Scoot it
- Ok
361
00:19:25,896 --> 00:19:30,230
Hey, do you, uh, think I could come back
some time and play with your X-Box?
362
00:19:30,230 --> 00:19:33,157
- Anytime, kid
- Bye
363
00:19:34,629 --> 00:19:36,981
Oh! Well, would you look at that?
364
00:19:37,405 --> 00:19:39,772
This game is called an X-Box. Well
365
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,164
Remember when Election Day
used to be fun?
366
00:19:47,617 --> 00:19:50,492
Passing out leaflets
knocking on doors
367
00:19:50,492 --> 00:19:54,167
ripping our bell-bottoms
and running from the fuzz?
368
00:19:55,391 --> 00:19:56,227
That wasn't us
369
00:19:56,227 --> 00:19:59,147
That was Linc and Julie
from "The Mod Squad."
370
00:20:01,739 --> 00:20:05,108
Well, I've just pulled
the lever for democracy
371
00:20:05,108 --> 00:20:06,400
Oh, and I also voted
372
00:20:10,485 --> 00:20:11,849
What are you two sad lovers doin'?
373
00:20:11,849 --> 00:20:13,018
Nothin'
374
00:20:13,018 --> 00:20:16,245
- So, did you vote?
- We don't deserve to
375
00:20:16,245 --> 00:20:18,146
We just didn't think
it was right to vote
376
00:20:18,146 --> 00:20:20,716
for someone without
finding out what they stand for
377
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,488
- Who'd you vote for??
- The black guy
378
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,653
What?!
There's a black guy?!
379
00:20:38,425 --> 00:20:41,804
Hello?
Oh, hi, Pharmacist
380
00:20:41,804 --> 00:20:46,198
Oh. Uh-huh. Yeah
I took 'em this morning
381
00:20:46,814 --> 00:20:51,252
Well... Side-effects?
Well, what do I do?
382
00:20:53,048 --> 00:20:55,594
Ok, yeah
I'm standin' on one leg
383
00:20:57,874 --> 00:21:00,721
Yeah. Yeah
my finger's on my nose...
384
00:21:00,721 --> 00:21:02,792
And I'm rubbin' my head
385
00:21:03,246 --> 00:21:06,100
Ok, well, how long
do I have to do this?
386
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,321
Yeah
I'll hold
387
00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:12,830
Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!
29404
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