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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:05,239 - ALL RIGHT, TOMMY, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TRYING 2 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,707 TO GET YOU TO COME OVER HERE FOR YEARS, 3 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,076 JUST TO TRY MY SAUCE. 4 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,610 IT'S THE ONLY THING I MAKE, REALLY. 5 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:11,545 - YEAH, WELL, I GOT A LOT MORE TIME NOW. 6 00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,581 YOU KNOW, THIS IS MY WHOLE LIFE LATELY. 7 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,617 I GO TO FRIENDS' HOUSES AND TASTE THEIR FOOD. 8 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,087 TO ME, IT'S MORE RELAXING THAN MANAGING. 9 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,722 - HERE. HERE YOU GO. 10 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,757 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? 11 00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:25,526 - YOU MADE THIS SAUCE? - YEAH, YEAH. 12 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,261 IT'S MY MOTHER'S RECIPE. 13 00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,363 - I GOT TO TELL YOU, IT'S A LITTLE BUSH LEAGUE. 14 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,764 COME ON OVER HERE. 15 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,066 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 16 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,701 - WELL, IT NEEDS MORE SEASONING. 17 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,137 OKAY, PUT A LITTLE HOT PEPPER IN IT. 18 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,172 ALL RIGHT, NOW LET ME SEE YOU STIR. 19 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,640 - OH, YOU KNOW, I JUST STIR. 20 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,642 - HEY, LOOK AT THE WAY YOU'RE HOLDING THE SPOON. 21 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,444 CHOKE UP ON IT A LITTLE. 22 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,379 OKAY, GET YOUR HEAD DOWN, ALL RIGHT. 23 00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:47,481 BEND YOUR KNEES, FOLLOW THROUGH, 24 00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,283 AND GIVE ME SOME MORE STIRRING POWER, 25 00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:51,152 AND GET YOUR ELBOW UP. 26 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,820 - I THOUGHT YOU JUST WANTED TO RELAX. 27 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:56,324 - HEY, KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE SAUCE. 28 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,825 ROOKIES. 29 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:01,729 - HI, I'M RAY, 30 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:02,763 AND I LIVE HERE IN LONG ISLAND 31 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,565 WITH MY WIFE, DEBRA. 32 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,100 SHE'S GREAT WITH THE KIDS, 33 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:08,169 THE HOUSE, EVERYTHING. 34 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,870 OH, I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT. 35 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,572 WE'VE GOT A DAUGHTER, ALLY, 36 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,242 AND TWIN TWO-YEAR-OLD BOYS. 37 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:17,311 IT'S NOT REALLY ABOUT THE KIDS. 38 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:20,614 MY PARENTS LIVE ACROSS THE STREET. 39 00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:21,882 THAT'S RIGHT, 40 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,785 AND MY BROTHER LIVES WITH THEM. 41 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,387 NOW, NOT EVERY FAMILY 42 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,888 WOULD GO BY ON A CONVEYER BELT FOR YOU, 43 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,690 BUT MINE WOULD, BECAUSE-- 44 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:32,326 - EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. 45 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:33,727 - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 46 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:45,673 - [gasp] 47 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,308 GOD, RAY, WHAT IS THAT? 48 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,442 - OH, NO. 49 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,845 IT'S COMING FROM MY PARENTS' HOUSE. 50 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:54,548 MY FATHER PUT IN ONE OF THOSE NEW MOTION-SENSOR LIGHTS. 51 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,451 - GOD, IT'S LIKE THE MOTHER SHIP IS LANDING. 52 00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,787 - I TOLD THEM NOT TO MAKE IT SO SENSITIVE. 53 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,590 A MOTH PROBABLY FLEW BY. 54 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,593 LET'S SEE WHAT'S OUT THERE. 55 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,195 - WHAT DO YOU SEE? 56 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,197 - I THINK I SAW MY OWN RETINA. 57 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,300 - WHAT'S YOUR FATHER DOING? 58 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:13,634 - HIS STUPID CAR IS ON THE STREET, 59 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,568 AND HE THINKS THIS LIGHT 60 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,570 IS GOING TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM STEALING IT. 61 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,339 - WELL, WHY DOESN'T HE JUST GET A CAR ALARM? 62 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:21,442 [car alarm sounds] 63 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:29,217 [buzz saw revving] 64 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,954 - YOUR FATHER IS DRIVING ME NUTS, RAY. 65 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,823 DID YOU CALL HIM? 66 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:36,824 - NOBODY'S ANSWERING. 67 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,693 THEY'RE PROBABLY DEAF BY NOW. 68 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:42,696 WHY IS HE WOODWORKING AT 7:30 IN THE MORNING? 69 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:48,336 - BECAUSE SOME GENIUS GAVE HIM THE BIG BOOK OF HOBBIES. 70 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,370 - I WANTED TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO DO 71 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,372 SO HE'D STOP COMING OVER HERE AND ANNOYING US. 72 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,406 - YEAH, SO NOW HE'S-- 73 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,774 [buzz saw revs] 74 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,343 SO NOW HE'S-- 75 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,610 [revving] SO NOW HE'S-- 76 00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:57,678 [revving] 77 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,413 GOOD IDEA, RAY! 78 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,924 - YOU HAD TO GIVE HIM THE BIG BOOK OF HOBBIES. 79 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,529 I'M GOING UPSTAIRS TO TAKE A NAP. 80 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,631 [revving] 81 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:21,502 OH, GOD, IT'S LOUD HERE TOO. 82 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,537 - WHAT'D YOU DO TO YOUR NOSE, ROBERT? 83 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,006 - DAD'S CAR ALARM WOKE ME UP LAST NIGHT. 84 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,708 I RAN OUTSIDE TO TURN IT OFF, 85 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,343 FORGOT WE HAD AN OAK TREE. 86 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,914 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, RAYMOND. 87 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,450 - HOW IS YOUR NOSE MY FAULT? 88 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,452 - IF DAD HADN'T TURNED HIS GARAGE INTO A WORKSHOP, 89 00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,254 HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PARK ON THE STREET, 90 00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:41,489 AND HE WOULDN'T NEED A CAR ALARM 91 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,391 THAT GOES OFF EVERY TIME I BLOW MY NOSE, 92 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,260 WHICH NOW, THANKS TO YOU, INVOLVES BLOOD. 93 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,031 I'M A COP. 94 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,800 I NEED MY SLEEP. 95 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,269 - HEY, I'M A WORKING MAN TOO, YOU KNOW? 96 00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,971 - OH, YEAH. SPORTSWRITER. TOUGH JOB. 97 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:00,308 A LOT OF SHOOT-OUTS AT THE COMPUTER? 98 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,312 - DID YOU TALK TO YOUR MOM, ROBERT? 99 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,779 - WELL, SINCE DAD'S IN THE GARAGE ALL DAY, 100 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,048 I'M THE ONLY ONE SHE HAS TO TALK TO. 101 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,551 AT LEAST THE BUZZ SAW HAS AN OFF SWITCH. 102 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,956 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR PAJAMAS? 103 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,526 - OH, DAD, IT'S A LITTLE EARLY FOR WOODWORKING, ISN'T IT? 104 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,827 - NOT FOR ME. 105 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,296 I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE. 106 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,731 YOU KNOW THE SATISFACTION 107 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,900 OF DOING SOMETHING WITH YOUR OWN TWO HANDS? 108 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,503 - I'M IMAGINING IT RIGHT NOW. 109 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,575 - I LOVE THE BIG BOOK OF HOBBIES. 110 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,510 THE BEST GIFT YOU EVER GAVE ME. 111 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,512 OH, OH, HEY, WHERE'S THE DRILL? 112 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:39,647 - IN THE GARAGE. 113 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,315 - GREAT, GREAT. THANKS. 114 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:47,488 [humming "Ride of the Valkyries"] 115 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,791 [telephone rings] - OH, OH! 116 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,028 - HELLO. 117 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,764 OH, HI. 118 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,032 IT'S RUTH GREEN FROM TWO DOORS DOWN. 119 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,734 [clears throat] YEAH? 120 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:03,704 OH, YEAH, WE HEARD THE SAWING TOO. 121 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,773 [Frank humming loudly] 122 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:10,378 UH-HUH. YEAH, THAT'S HIM SINGING. 123 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,012 UH-HUH. 124 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,747 OH. 125 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,684 OKAY, WELL, I'LL DISCUSS IT WITH RAY. 126 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:17,885 YEAH. 127 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,887 THANKS FOR CALLING, RUTH. BYE-BYE. 128 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,555 OH, GREAT. 129 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,056 NOW THE NEIGHBORS WANT TO COME OVER HERE TONIGHT 130 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,825 TO DISCUSS YOUR PARENTS. 131 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,894 - DISCUSS MY PARENTS? 132 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,529 - THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. 133 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,130 SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "YOUR FAMILY," 134 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,734 LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT. 135 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,136 - WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE TO DISCUSS MY PARENTS? 136 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,472 - I SHOULD HAVE KEPT MY MAIDEN NAME. 137 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,741 - I DON'T WANT THEM HERE. 138 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,942 I DON'T WANT THEM OVER AT THE HOUSE. 139 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,544 - YOU KNOW WHAT, RAY? 140 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,678 I DON'T THINK IT'S SUCH A BAD IDEA. 141 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:45,879 I MEAN, YOU GOT TO ADMIT, 142 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,481 YOUR FATHER'S BEEN MAKING A LOT OF NOISE, 143 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:50,384 AND YOUR MOTHER IS BIT OF A MEDDLER. 144 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:51,452 - THEY'RE NOT SO BAD 145 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,387 THAT WE HAVE TO HAVE A MEETING. 146 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,488 WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO, 147 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,524 COME OVER WITH TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS? 148 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,091 - NO, THEY JUST WANT TO COME OVER 149 00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,793 TO DISCUSS THE PROBLEM, 150 00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,663 AND YOU GOT TO ADMIT THERE'S A PROBLEM. 151 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,598 I MEAN, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE CALLING A MEETING 152 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:08,902 IF THE WHOLE THING HADN'T GOTTEN COMPLETELY INTOLERABLE. 153 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:09,870 I MEAN, LOOK, THE NEIGHBORS 154 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,105 JUST WANT TO COME OVER TO ASK FOR OUR HELP, 155 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,508 AND I THINK THE LEAST WE CAN DO 156 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,777 IS LISTEN TO WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY. 157 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,148 - LOOK, I DON'T THINK A MEETING IS NECESSARY, REALLY. 158 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,585 - OKAY. - LOOK ME IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW. 159 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,587 I DON'T THINK WE HAVE TO DO THIS, 160 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,423 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL DO THIS FOR YOU. 161 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:30,924 - THANKS. - OKAY. 162 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,932 - LOOK, WE ALL WANT TO LIVE IN PEACE AND FRIENDSHIP, 163 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,134 AND, RAY AND DEBRA, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD NEIGHBORS. 164 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,135 - THANK YOU. I JUST-- 165 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,872 - I WAS TALKING. 166 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,908 AND SO, SINCE YOU TWO ARE SO CLOSE TO THE PROBLEM, 167 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,444 WE WERE HOPING THAT MAYBE YOU COULD GET THROUGH TO THEM. 168 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,713 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT. I UNDERSTAND. 169 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,648 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE NOISE: 170 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:58,619 THE CAR ALARM, THE BUZZ SAW, MY MOM. 171 00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,621 I'M GOING TO HANDLE IT, OKAY? 172 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:03,957 GOOD MEETING. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 173 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,126 YOU KNOW, TAKE SOME COOKIES. MY MOM MADE THOSE. 174 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,529 THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD. 175 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:13,233 - WELL, THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN JUST THE NOISE, RAY. 176 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,035 - OH. 177 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,937 - YOU KNOW YOUR FATHER'S LEAF BLOWER? 178 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,606 LAST WEEK, HE BLEW EVERYTHING 179 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,240 FROM HIS LAWN ONTO MINE, 180 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,610 INCLUDING A DEAD CHIPMUNK. 181 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:24,845 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 182 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,748 NOBODY SHOULD BLOW RODENTS AROUND. 183 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,082 - AND YOUR MOTHER ACCEPTS MY PACKAGES, 184 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,653 AND THEN SHE NEGLECTS TO INFORM ME. 185 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,954 - YEAH, YOU'RE MAD NOW, 186 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,489 BUT WHEN ONE OF THOSE BABIES EXPLODES, 187 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,558 YOU'RE GOING TO THANK HER, HUH? 188 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,760 - WE'RE VERY SERIOUS, RAY. 189 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,194 WE HOPE THAT YOU WILL TALK TO YOUR PARENTS 190 00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:42,796 ABOUT ALL THESE THINGS 191 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:46,934 BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO GO TO THE--EXTREME. 192 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,636 - I DON'T GET IT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 193 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,270 - WE COULD INITIATE LEGAL ACTION 194 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,573 AND TRY TO GET YOUR PARENTS OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 195 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,107 - IS THAT POSSIBLE? 196 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,645 NO. I-- 197 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,519 I'M JUST ASKING A QUESTION. 198 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:06,887 - NOBODY REALLY WANTS THAT TO HAPPEN. 199 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,288 I--I MEAN, THEY'RE OLDER PEOPLE. 200 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,557 WHERE WOULD THEY GO? 201 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,024 - FLORIDA. 202 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,727 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 203 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,663 - IT'S WARM IN FLORIDA. 204 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,231 - YEAH, ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, LET'S BACK UP HERE A SECOND. 205 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,800 THEY--THEY MAKE A LITTLE NOISE, 206 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,771 AND THEY CAN BE A LITTLE-- IRKSOME SOMETIMES, 207 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:28,609 BUT COME ON, LET'S LOOK AT THEIR GOOD POINTS TOO. 208 00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,712 THEY RECYCLE. 209 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:37,017 THEY'RE NOT CANNIBALS. 210 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,819 - I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO SHOW THIS, 211 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:43,190 BUT--I HAVE A TAPE. 212 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:46,259 - THEY ARE CANNIBALS? 213 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:49,329 - THIS IS YOUR FATHER GETTING HIS MORNING PAPER. 214 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,264 - YOU'RE VIDEOTAPING MY FATHER? 215 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,934 - I SHOT THIS OVER THE COURSE OF SEVERAL MORNINGS. 216 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,076 THERE IT IS. 217 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:36,944 EXHIBIT "A." 218 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,278 - OOH! 219 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,180 - IS THAT A TATTOO? 220 00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,682 - NO. 221 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,952 all: EWW! 222 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,257 - LOOK AT WHAT YOUR FATHER MADE. 223 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,859 OH, HI! 224 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,193 - ISN'T THIS A BEAUTY? 225 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,227 OOH. 226 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,629 OOH! 227 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,030 [chuckling] HEY. WHOOPS! 228 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,900 LITTLE, UH-- PORNO PARTY. 229 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,935 - COME ON OUTSIDE, DAD. SHOW ME WHERE THIS GOES. 230 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,303 COME ON, HELP ME TO PUT IT UP IN THE TREE. 231 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,238 - WHO'S THE FAT ASS? 232 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,077 - FRANK. 233 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,946 - HOLY CRAP. 234 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,014 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? 235 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,382 - NOTHING. 236 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,984 WE'RE JUST HAVING A FEW LAUGHS, YOU KNOW. 237 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,051 NEIGHBORHOOD BLOOPERS. 238 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:21,088 - UH, THE TRUTH IS THAT CERTAIN PEOPLE AROUND HERE 239 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,356 HAVE SOME COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOU. 240 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,893 - WHICH CERTAIN PEOPLE? - THEM. 241 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,427 - MARIE, THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 242 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,230 - IT LOOKS LIKE MY SON IS PLOTTING AGAINST US 243 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:34,301 AND SERVING MY COOKIES. 244 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:38,138 YOU'RE SERVING MY COOKIES AT YOUR RALLY? 245 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,407 - YOU TOOK SIDES AGAINST THE FAMILY. 246 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,010 - DAD, I WAS DEFENDING YOU. 247 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:47,080 - AGAINST THE FAMILY! 248 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,348 - DAD, IT'S NOT-- 249 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,349 - I WANT THE TAPE. 250 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,818 GIVE ME THE TAPE. 251 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,419 - ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT EASY, MOM. 252 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,354 - HOW DO YOU WORK THESE DAMN MACHINES? 253 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,956 - ALL RIGHT, EASY, MA. I'LL DO IT. 254 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,125 - OOH, I HATE THESE DAMN MACHINES. 255 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,827 - MA, DON'T PULL THE PLUG. 256 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,997 - HOW COULD YOU? 257 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,398 - MA. 258 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,307 OKAY, THAT WENT WELL. 259 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,084 - DEBRA. 260 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:26,720 DEBRA. 261 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,823 DEBRA. 262 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,424 - WHAT? 263 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:32,793 WHAT IS THE MATTER? 264 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:37,765 - I CAN'T SLEEP. - WHY NOT? 265 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,432 - MY DAD'S CAR ALARM. 266 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:40,968 - IT'S NOT GOING OFF. 267 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,103 - EXACTLY. 268 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,371 I-I CAN'T STAND IT. 269 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:47,040 IT'S JUST-- IT'S TOO QUIET OVER THERE. 270 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,877 - MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU, RAY. 271 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:50,978 WHOO, WHOO, WHOO! 272 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,781 WEE-OOH, WEE-OOH, WEE-OOH! 273 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,883 GOOD NIGHT. 274 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,051 - THAT DIDN'T HELP. 275 00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,252 I STILL HEAR MY OWN GUILT. 276 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:00,988 - OH, RAY, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE GUILTY OF. 277 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:01,989 YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 278 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,090 - I DID, I DID. 279 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:06,760 I HAD A RALLY AGAINST MY PARENTS IN MY OWN HOUSE. 280 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:09,296 DIDN'T YOU SEE THEM? THEY WERE REALLY HURT. 281 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,163 I COULD TELL BY THE WAY 282 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:13,166 MY MOTHER WAS RUNNING WITH THE VCR. 283 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,402 - HONEY, I KNOW. LOOK, I MEAN, I FELT BAD TOO, 284 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,271 BUT MAYBE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GET THROUGH TO THEM. 285 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,439 - I HURT THEM. 286 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,341 [thump] 287 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,143 I HURT MYSELF. 288 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,883 - RAY, YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY FOR. 289 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:30,851 YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 290 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:33,553 AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU WERE DEFENDING THEM. 291 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,922 - OH, THAT DOESN'T MATTER. 292 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,825 GUILT IS JUST A WAY OF LIFE FOR ME. 293 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:40,327 I WAS TRAINED BY MASTERS. 294 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,831 MY MOTHER, MY FATHER, THE POPE. 295 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,032 - [sighs] 296 00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:47,134 LISTEN. JUST ENJOY THE QUIET, OKAY? 297 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,335 GO TO SLEEP. 298 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,942 - WEE-OOH, WEE-OOH. 299 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,850 HELLO. 300 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,185 HELLO. 301 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,954 WHAT'S THIS? 302 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,055 THEY KILLED THEMSELVES, 303 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:11,825 AND ROBERT MADE 'EM INTO SANDWICHES. 304 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:13,126 HI. 305 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,528 - HELLO. 306 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,529 - LISTEN. 307 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,231 I KNOW YOU'RE HURT, 308 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,067 BUT THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND. 309 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,401 WE DIDN'T PLAN THAT MEETING, YOU KNOW. 310 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,903 THE NEIGHBORS JUST CAME OVER. 311 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,471 - WE'RE NOT HURT, DEAR. 312 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,506 THE NEIGHBORS WERE RIGHT. 313 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:27,841 - RIGHT? - MM-HMM. 314 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,177 - HEY, WE'RE NOT PERFECT. 315 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,845 - WHAT? 316 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:34,281 - WE JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW OUR BEHAVIOR AFFECTED OTHERS. 317 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:38,285 THESE PEOPLE AROUND HERE ARE VERY NICE. 318 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,587 - SO EVERYTHING'S OKAY WITH YOU? 319 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:41,989 - YES. 320 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,858 - WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE. 321 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:47,027 - WELL, GOOD. 322 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,128 I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY. 323 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,596 I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT STILL BE UPSET. 324 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,865 YOU KNOW, THAT MEETING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CONSTRUCTIVE. 325 00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,333 - AND IT WAS. 326 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,235 - VERY CONSTRUCTIVE. 327 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,569 - SO YOU'RE NOT MAD AT THE-- 328 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,973 - WE REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING MORE TO SAY, RAY. 329 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,876 - OH. 330 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:07,347 HEY, YOU GOT SOME BIG SANDWICHES HERE. 331 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,049 - OH, I'M SORRY, DEAR. 332 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,885 THAT'S FOR THE NEIGHBORS. 333 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,620 - THE NEIGHBORS ARE COMING OVER? 334 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,222 - YEAH, IT'S THE LEAST WE COULD DO 335 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,224 FOR ALL THE TROUBLE WE'VE CAUSED. 336 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,892 - SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE TROUBLE? 337 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:19,893 [knocking on door] 338 00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:23,096 - OH, THERE THEY ARE. HI. 339 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,197 HI. - HI. 340 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:26,099 - OH, WELCOME, WELCOME. 341 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:29,036 HI, HOW ARE YOU DOING? 342 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:32,105 - OOH, CHAMPAGNE. THAT'S FABULOUS. 343 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:35,475 - HI, HI, HI. OH, WOW, THANKS A LOT. 344 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:36,910 - WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. 345 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:38,111 YOU'RE ALL FRIENDS NOW? 346 00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:41,148 - HERE'S THE ICE. 347 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,315 - OH, DARLING, FABULOUS. 348 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:45,552 - GREAT JOB, SON. GREAT JOB. 349 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,988 - THANKS FOR STOPPING BY, RAY. 350 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:56,196 [overlapping conversations] 351 00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,970 - CAN'T SLEEP, HUH? 352 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,251 - IT'S IN THE BIBLE. HONOR THY MOTHER. 353 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,987 - WHAT ABOUT THE FATHER? 354 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,456 - OKAY, HIM TOO. 355 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,360 - I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 356 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,561 - RAY! 357 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:02,629 - I'M COMING. 358 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,108 I KNOW, I KNOW. 359 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,488 - OH, HI. SORRY, FATHER. 360 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,423 I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE CONFESSIONAL. 361 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,226 - THIS IS THE CONFESSIONAL. 362 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:37,330 - WELL, WHERE'S THE-- THE BOOTH WITH THE-- 363 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:40,133 THE KNEELER AND THE SLIDING WINDOW 364 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:43,670 THROUGH WHICH YOU CAN'T SEE ME? 365 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,772 - YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HERE IN AWHILE, HAVE YOU? 366 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,207 - ABOUT 20 YEARS. 367 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,476 I'VE BEEN GOOD. 368 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,478 - WELL. [clears throat] 369 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,546 WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A SEAT? 370 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,628 - OH, I START, RIGHT? I START, OKAY. 371 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,430 UH-- 372 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,233 BLESS ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED. 373 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,801 IT'S BEEN-- WELL, YOU KNOW, 374 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,670 A LONG TIME SINCE MY LAST CONFESSION. 375 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,639 LET'S SEE. 376 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,741 I'VE CURSED-- 377 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:26,313 ABOUT 90,000 TIMES, 378 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,448 ATE A LOT OF MEAT ON FRIDAYS. 379 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:31,651 - OH, WE ABOLISHED THAT RULE A LONG TIME AGO. 380 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:36,356 - WOW, YOU GUYS ARE CHANGING EVERYTHING. 381 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:41,394 - NOW WHAT--WHAT REALLY BRINGS YOU HERE AFTER 20 YEARS? 382 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:44,131 - ALL RIGHT, THE THING IS, 383 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,267 I THINK I BROKE ONE OF THE COMMANDMENTS, 384 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:50,437 THE ONE ABOUT HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER. 385 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,472 - REALLY? 386 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,441 - THAT'S BAD, HUH? 387 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:58,245 - I JUST DON'T GET THAT ONE A LOT-- 388 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:01,814 AT LEAST NOT FROM SOMEONE IN YOUR AGE GROUP. 389 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:04,884 YOU'RE MORE IN THE "COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE" 390 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,654 PHASE OF LIFE. 391 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,755 - YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE 392 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,523 MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER. 393 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:14,561 IT'S JUST THAT IT'S VERY HARD TO HONOR THEM. 394 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,397 - OH. 395 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,699 YOU'RE TRYING TO PUT THEM IN A HOME. 396 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,334 - NO, NO, NO. 397 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,302 YOU SEE, THE NEIGHBORS 398 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,271 WANTED TO THROW THEM OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD, 399 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,673 AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS DEFENDING THEM 400 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,608 AND THE NEIGHBORS ARE OKAY NOW, 401 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,611 I JUST-- I STILL FEEL GUILTY. 402 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:35,182 - IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU DID ANYTHING WRONG. 403 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:38,851 - WELL, THEN HOW COME I FEEL SO LOUSY? 404 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:42,455 - MAYBE YOUR GUILT'S COMING FROM A DEEPER PLACE. 405 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,291 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 406 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:47,794 - HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR PARENTS? 407 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,699 - WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 408 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,505 ARE YOU SAYING THAT MAYBE I FEEL THIS WAY 409 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:03,910 BECAUSE DEEP DOWN, I THINK THE NEIGHBORS ARE RIGHT? 410 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,945 THAT PART OF ME WANTS TO THROW THEM 411 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,381 OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD TOO? 412 00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:12,319 THAT--THAT THEY'VE BEEN JUST DRIVING ME CRAZY MY WHOLE LIFE? 413 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:16,389 IS THAT--THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, ISN'T IT? 414 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:19,692 - WE ALL HAVE THESE KINDS OF FEELINGS FROM TIME TO TIME. 415 00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:20,860 YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A MAN 416 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:24,564 ON OUR CHURCH COUNCIL A FEW YEARS AGO, 417 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:28,835 A DECENT ENOUGH FELLOW BUT A BIT ABRASIVE, 418 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:33,340 OBLIVIOUS TO ANYONE ELSE'S FEELINGS. 419 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:37,510 I WANTED TO GET HIM OUT OF MY HAIR. 420 00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:41,714 I USED TO FANTASIZE ABOUT HIM CONVERTING TO JUDAISM. 421 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,455 ONE DAY I SAID, "FRANK, I THINK THAT--" 422 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,523 - WAIT A MINUTE. HIS NAME WAS FRANK? 423 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:51,858 - UH, THAT'S UNIMPORTANT. THE POINT-- 424 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,994 - FRANK BARONE? 425 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,696 - YOU KNOW FRANK BARONE? 426 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,331 - HE'S MY FATHER. 427 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,600 - YOUR PARENTS ARE FRANK AND MARIE BARONE? 428 00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,535 - YES. 429 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,337 - YOU'RE ABSOLVED. 430 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:10,443 - WHAT? 431 00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:13,880 - OUR LORD FORGIVES YOUR THOUGHTS. 432 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,282 - YEAH? REALLY? 433 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,816 ARE YOU-- YOU'RE SURE? 434 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:20,653 - WELL, I COULD LOOK IT UP, BUT I'M ALMOST POSITIVE. 435 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,856 - OH, MAN. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 436 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,325 THANK YOU, FATHER. 437 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:28,328 THIS IS, UH, THIS IS GREAT. 438 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,463 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 439 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:33,300 WOULD I BE WRONG TO LET THEM KNOW HOW I FEEL? 440 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,302 THAT I'M--I'M JUST SICK AND TIRED OF BEING MANIPULATED 441 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,936 AND TREATED LIKE A CHILD, 442 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,506 AND I'M JUST NOT GOING TO LET 'EM DO IT ANYMORE. 443 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:42,609 - ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD IN VAIN WHEN YOU DO? 444 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:46,513 - NO. - THEN GO WITH GOD. 445 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:50,283 - OH, BOY. YOU, UH, YOU GUYS. 446 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,050 YOU'RE GREAT. YOU'RE GREAT. 447 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,719 YOU GUYS ARE GREAT. 448 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:53,986 I'M GOING TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT YOU. 449 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,488 REALLY. 450 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,735 ALL RIGHT, MOM AND DAD, 451 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,403 LISTEN UP HERE, ALL RIGHT. 452 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:11,738 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME. 453 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,606 THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING. 454 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,443 I'M GOING TO SAY IT RIGHT NOW, AND YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR IT. 455 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,881 - SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY, RAY. 456 00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,950 WE'RE LISTENING. 457 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,885 - WELL? 458 00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:27,987 - LISTEN-- 459 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,956 I'M SORRY. 460 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:31,324 - HE SAID IT! 461 00:21:31,358 --> 00:21:34,327 OH, RAYMOND. 462 00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:37,564 - GOOD THING. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. 463 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:39,799 - THAT'S ALL WE EVER WANTED TO HEAR, HONEY. 464 00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:42,068 THAT'S ALL ANY PARENT EVER WANTS FROM A CHILD. 465 00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:44,804 - CONSTANT APOLOGY. RIGHT. 466 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,973 - GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK, RAY. WE MISSED YOU. 467 00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:48,508 - ARE YOU HUNGRY, HONEY? 468 00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,977 - YEAH, YEAH, I'M HUNGRY. - OH, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 469 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:54,514 - HEY, ROBERT, UH, THIS IS RAY'S CHAIR. 470 00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:02,822 THERE YOU GO. GO ON, SIT DOWN. 471 00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:06,726 THE OLD-- THE OLD CHAIR. 472 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:07,894 - ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO. 473 00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:11,498 - HERE YOU GO. 474 00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:13,600 MANGEZ, MANGEZ. 475 00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:22,074 - I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY IT BOTHERS YOU. 476 00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:23,576 BUT IT'S QUITE NORMAL 477 00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:26,713 TO HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR PARENTS DYING. 478 00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:32,519 - DID I MENTION THE PART ABOUT THE SANDWICHES? 31161

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