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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:09,443 - OH, NO. - WHAT IS IT? 2 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,645 - I WAS DAYDREAMING, AND NOW I CAN'T REMEMBER 3 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,748 IF I SHAMPOOED MY HAIR OR NOT. 4 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,318 - SO? DO IT AGAIN. 5 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,819 - I CAN'T, 'CAUSE IF I'VE WASHED IT ALREADY 6 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,154 AND DO IT AGAIN, 7 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,390 MY HAIR'S GOING TO BE TOO FLUFFY. 8 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,625 - SO DON'T DO IT AGAIN. 9 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,294 - WELL, WHAT IF I DIDN'T DO IT? 10 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,595 THEN IT'S GOING TO BE TOO OILY. 11 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:31,265 WHAT? THIS IS IMPORTANT. 12 00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,833 - OH, YEAH, IT'S A REAL CRISIS. 13 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,236 YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU TODAY, RAY? 14 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:36,604 - WELL, I'M WEIRD. 15 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,272 HEY, HOW ABOUT THE TIME YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE 16 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,809 'CAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOUR HAIRCUT MADE YOUR BUTT LOOK FAT? 17 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,180 I'M THE WEIRD ONE, RIGHT? 18 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,149 [yells] 19 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:51,385 [glass breaks] OW. 20 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:55,856 HI, I'M RAY. 21 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,525 I LIVE HERE IN LONG ISLAND 22 00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:04,232 WITH MY WIFE, DEBRA; 23 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,599 MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER; 24 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:11,439 AND TWIN ALMOST-TWO-YEAR-OLD BOYS. 25 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,274 MY PARENTS LIVE ACROSS THE STREET. 26 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:20,414 THAT'S RIGHT. 27 00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:23,384 THE TRUTH IS, I'D DO ANYTHING FOR MY FAMILY. 28 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:36,197 AND DONE. 29 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:41,902 AND DONE. 30 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,738 - SO ALL THREE KIDS ARE DOWN. 31 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,574 FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST. 32 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,710 THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE AT LAST. 33 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:53,647 NOW IT'S GOING TO BE ALL ABOUT ME. 34 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:56,684 ME, ME, ME. 35 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,686 HOW'S IT GOING, FLUFFY? 36 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,424 - NOT GOOD. 37 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,160 COME ON, WHAT IS THIS HEALTH INSURANCE? 38 00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,829 MATCHING THE DOCTOR BILLS TO THE WORKSHEETS, 39 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,631 WHO PAID WHO, WHAT, WHEN? 40 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:14,735 NO, THIS-- THIS HAS TO BE WOMAN'S WORK. 41 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:15,869 - OH, GREAT. 42 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,905 WELL, I'LL JUST DO SOME MAN'S WORK: 43 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,574 WATCH A LITTLE TV AND SCRATCH MYSELF. 44 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,613 - AH. 45 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,415 LOOK AT THIS. I CAN'T MAKE THAT NUMBER OUT. 46 00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,583 THAT COULD BE A NINE. COULD BE A FOUR. 47 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:32,186 THIS'LL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW. 48 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:34,888 WHAT'S ON, HONEY? 49 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,390 - RAY, COME ON. 50 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:38,226 YOU HAVEN'T WORKED ON THAT AT ALL. 51 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:39,427 - YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. 52 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,961 THE POINT IS... 53 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,697 I WILL RUB YOUR FEET. 54 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:45,833 - YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO-- YOU GOT TO GET THIS DONE. 55 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,935 - WITH LOTIONS. COME ON. 56 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,437 I'M NOT EVEN A FOOT PERSON. 57 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:50,671 MATTER OF FACT, 58 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,906 THE WHOLE IDEA OF RUBBING FEET MAKES ME SICK. 59 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,477 - JUST SHUT UP AND RUB. 60 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,878 THAT'S TICKLING. 61 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,513 THAT'S NOT RUBBING. THAT'S TICKLING! 62 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,714 [screeches] 63 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,451 - HEY. 64 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,286 GLAD YOU'RE NOT BUSY. 65 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,923 - WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE'RE NOT BUSY, ROBERT? 66 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,526 - WELL, I SAW THROUGH THE WINDOW. 67 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,961 - YOU WERE LOOKING? 68 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,797 - WELL, I'M A COP. IT'S MY TRAINING. 69 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:19,933 - WELL, YOU KNOW, ROBERT, 70 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,236 IT MAY LOOK LIKE WE'RE NOT BUSY, BUT... 71 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,737 GET OUT. 72 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,777 - I NEED YOU TO TAKE AN I.Q. TEST. 73 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,746 - WHAT? - AN I.Q. TEST. 74 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:33,914 I'M TAKING A CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY CLASS 75 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,416 TO MAKE LIEUTENANT, 76 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,952 AND I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO GIVE AN I.Q. TEST. 77 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,654 - I-- 78 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,757 I THINK HE WANTS ME TO STEAL THIRD. 79 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,829 - HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU FOR ANYTHING, RAYMOND? 80 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:52,833 - OH-- 81 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,769 YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF MOM'S HOUSE. 82 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,705 - ALL RIGHT. 83 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,841 YEAH, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT. 84 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,510 - OH, GOD. 85 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:05,879 WE HAVE TO. I MEAN, IT'S FOR HIS CLASS. 86 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:09,850 - JUST KEEP TALKING. HE'S ALMOST GONE. 87 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,952 - WE'LL DO IT, ROBERT. - NO. 88 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,621 THREE MORE STEPS. 89 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,389 - YOU'LL DO IT? - YEAH. 90 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:16,790 - OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 91 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,592 THIS REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME. 92 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:19,693 - BUT, LISTEN, WE'RE NOT GOING TO-- 93 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:20,961 - THERE'S NO TALKING. 94 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,998 NOW, I'LL BE TESTING YOU ONE-ON-ONE 95 00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,600 FOR EACH SECTION. 96 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,602 THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. 97 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,471 I HAVE TO TREAT YOU BOTH THE SAME. 98 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,072 I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO CHITCHAT. 99 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,542 AND I'VE GOT TO BE STONE-FACED. 100 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,645 - THERE'S A STRETCH. 101 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,713 - AGAIN, NO TALKING. 102 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,550 - SO, UH, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS, ROBERT? 103 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,452 - I THOUGHT WE COULD START WITH YOU IN THE BASEMENT, 104 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:45,586 IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT, DEBRA. 105 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,487 - HOW COME YOU DIDN'T SNAP-- 106 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,721 - NO TALKING! 107 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:11,011 - ... UP TO 40 MILES PER HOUR. 108 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,012 - HOW BAD IS IT? 109 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,313 - HUP, HUP, HUP, HUP, HUP, HUP! 110 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:17,885 - HOW'D YOU DO? 111 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,453 - I THINK I DID REALLY WELL. IT'S PRETTY EASY. 112 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,455 - YEAH? - YEAH. 113 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,756 GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS. 114 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,527 - I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T CARE. 115 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,029 - I DON'T. - WELL? 116 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,931 - GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS. 117 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,800 - NO. 118 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,403 - OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 119 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,570 OKAY, THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO BE? 120 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,506 - WELL, I'M NOT CHEATING. 121 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,807 - WHAT? 122 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,710 - I'M NOT CHEATING. 123 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:43,744 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 124 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,379 - NO TALKING, DEBRA. 125 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,988 - THAT WOULD BE THE MAGNA CARTA. 126 00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,559 DID DEBRA GET THAT? 127 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,562 I'D BET DEBRA DIDN'T GET THAT ONE. 128 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,096 - WHO INVENTED THE COTTON GIN? 129 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,432 - OH, THAT'S EASY. 130 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,934 ELI WALLACH. 131 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,737 WHITNEY! WHITNEY! 132 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:10,938 ELI WHITNEY. YOU KNOW WHAT-- 133 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,406 I MEANT WHITNEY, ROBERT. 134 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,542 - OKAY, USING THESE BLOCKS, 135 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,545 PLEASE RECONSTRUCT THE FIGURE IN THIS DIAGRAM. 136 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,546 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 137 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:19,713 - YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS. GO. 138 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,114 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 139 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,450 ROBERT, THESE THREE-DIMENSIONAL BLOCKS, 140 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,717 BUT IT'S A TWO-DIMENSIONAL DRAWING. 141 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:24,518 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO-- 142 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,987 - TIME. - TIME. 143 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,789 DON'T TAKE THE BLOCKS. I WANT THE BLOCKS. 144 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,591 ROBERT, THAT'S NOT FAIR. 145 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,826 I WANT MY BLOCKS BACK! 146 00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,476 [exhales] 147 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,849 - HOW'D IT GO? 148 00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:58,452 - OH, I THINK I ACED IT. 149 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,156 HOW'D YOU DO ON THE BLOCKS? 150 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,058 - OH, THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. 151 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,827 HE DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY TIME AT ALL. 152 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,596 - REALLY? - YEAH. 153 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,963 - I THOUGHT THERE WAS PLENTY OF TIME. 154 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,503 - HI. IS ROBERT HERE? 155 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,037 - HE'S DOWNSTAIRS, GRADING US. 156 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,506 - AH, YOU SEE? 157 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,641 THEY'RE NOT AFRAID OF TAKING THE TEST. 158 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,477 - I DON'T WANT MY BRAIN MEASURED. 159 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,616 IT'S GOTTEN ME THIS FAR. 160 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,819 - FOR SOME REASON, YOUR FATHER HAS SOMETHING TO HIDE. 161 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:34,054 - I DON'T BELIEVE IN TESTS. 162 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,624 ALL THEY DO IS DEAL WITH BOOK SMARTS. 163 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,059 THEY DON'T MEASURE STREET SMARTS. 164 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,761 - AND YOU'RE STREET SMART? 165 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,796 - I AM VERY STREET SMART. 166 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,732 - [laughing] 167 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:52,072 HAVE HIM TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME HE BOUGHT SEAFOOD 168 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:55,108 OUT OF THE BACK OF A DERELICT'S CAR. 169 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,910 - HE WAS LEGIT. 170 00:07:56,944 --> 00:08:01,749 - OH, HE HAD THE PRICES TATTOOED ON HIS BODY. 171 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,119 - ONE BAD MUSSEL IN A WHOLE BUCKET. 172 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,188 - I THREW UP FOR THREE WEEKS 173 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:11,191 SO THAT YOU COULD SAVE 79 CENTS? 174 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,826 - THEY WERE DELICIOUS. 175 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,162 YOU COULD TASTE THE OCEAN. 176 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,631 - I'M STILL TASTING IT. 177 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,068 OOH. 178 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,069 - GOOD NIGHT. 179 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,070 - OH, ROBBY. 180 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,805 - WAIT A MINUTE. HOW'D IT GO? 181 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:25,606 - I BELIEVE I ADMINISTERED 182 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,275 AND EVALUATED THE TEST CORRECTLY. 183 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,644 I FEEL I DID PRETTY GOOD. GOOD NIGHT. 184 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,713 - WHO CARES ABOUT YOU? TELL US THE SCORES. 185 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,915 - IT'S NOT ABOUT US, RAY. 186 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,050 ROBERT, JUST PLACATE HIM. TELL HIM THE SCORES. 187 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,719 - PLACATE-- 188 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:43,256 TO APPEASE, TO MAKE FEEL BETTER. 189 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,059 - THE SCORES AREN'T REALLY IMPORTANT. 190 00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:47,628 - I KNOW THAT, BUT YOUR BROTHER SEEMS TO-- 191 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:48,762 - YEAH, BUT I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO-- 192 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,632 - TELL US THE SCORES! 193 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,134 I'M JUST CURIOUS. 194 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:57,571 - ALL RIGHT. RAYMOND, YOU GOT 100. 195 00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:58,872 - 100. 196 00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,141 - OH, A PERFECT SCORE! 197 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,343 OOH, THAT'S MY RAYMOND. 198 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,647 THANK GOD YOU GOT YOUR MOTHER'S BRAINS. 199 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,182 - 100 IS AVERAGE. 200 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,118 - AVERAGE? 201 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,020 HE GOT THAT FROM YOU. 202 00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,824 - UH, WHAT DID I GET? 203 00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,125 - DEBRA, YOU SCORED 115. 204 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,628 - YES! 205 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,362 WELL, THAT'S CLOSE. 206 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,297 - NO, I'M SORRY. YOU'RE NOT CLOSE. 207 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,634 15 POINTS IS ONE STANDARD DEVIATION. 208 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,002 - OH! 209 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,337 - WELL, WHAT'S THAT? 210 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,773 - WELL, THAT MEANS THAT BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, 211 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,709 WELL, DEBRA'S IN A WHOLE HIGHER CLASS OF BRAINS. 212 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,579 - HOLY CRAP. 213 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,717 - GOOD NIGHT. 214 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,625 - WELL, I MEAN, THEY'RE JUST, YOU KNOW, 215 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,694 TEST SCORES, RAY. 216 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:56,664 IT WAS REALLY ABOUT ROBERT LEARNING TO GIVE THE TEST. 217 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:57,831 - YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO LEARN 218 00:09:57,865 --> 00:10:01,869 THAT YOU'RE SMART AND I'M AN IDIOT. 219 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,071 - THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND OF INTELLIGENCE, RAY. 220 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,806 - THAT'S RIGHT. 221 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,741 THERE ARE STREET SMARTS! 222 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,981 - ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? 223 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,248 DON'T FALL OUT OF YOUR CHAIRS. 224 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,417 OUR STORE IS ON THE INTERNET. - NO. 225 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,518 - YEAH. 226 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:22,255 YOU JUST POINT YOUR BROWSER DOWN TO WWW.BERNIE.COM, 227 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,692 AND THERE I AM, STRADDLING A JET SKI. 228 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,193 - WHOO! 229 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,996 - OH, BOY, HE LOOKS SO CUTE IN HIS SPEEDO. 230 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,364 - WELL-- OH, I'M SORRY, RAY. 231 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,966 I'M SURE DEBRA KNOWS ALL ABOUT THE INTERNET, 232 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,436 BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING WE CAN ALL UNDERSTAND. 233 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,905 PIZZA HOT. 234 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,107 [laughs] 235 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,109 - YEAH. - OH! 236 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,812 - YEAH, YEAH. HAVE YOUR FUN. 237 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,413 - LEAVE HIM ALONE, BERNIE. 238 00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:47,881 HE DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT THE TEST 239 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:50,083 SO YOU COULD USE IT AGAINST HIM. 240 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,920 - YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP. 241 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,421 - STOP IT. LOOK, I DON'T CARE. 242 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,089 I DON'T CARE. 243 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,025 IT'S ALL RIGHT. I DON'T CARE. 244 00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,327 - CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING, RAY? LOOK, YOU'RE ALL OUT OF SODA. 245 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,795 - I AM? - YEAH. 246 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,731 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL GO GET YOU ANOTHER ONE. 247 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:04,998 YOU WANT A LEMON WEDGE? 248 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,333 - ALL RIGHT. THAT'D BE NICE. 249 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,801 - OKAY. - I'M GOING TO GET ONE TOO. 250 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:10,103 - YEAH, I'LL TAKE ONE. - OH, PLEASE. 251 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:18,345 WHY IS RAY SO DEPRESSED? IT WAS JUST A TEST. 252 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,080 - I GUESS SEEING IN BLACK AND WHITE 253 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,081 THAT I'M SMARTER THAN HIM 254 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:23,951 JUST BLEW OUT HIS SELF-ESTEEM. 255 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,185 I MEAN, I'M TRYING TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER, 256 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,920 BUT NOTHING WORKS. 257 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,188 - OH, COME ON. 258 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,057 YOU HAD TO KNOW YOU WERE SMARTER. 259 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,726 - WELL, OF COURSE, BUT... 260 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,895 I STILL FEEL GUILTY. 261 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,797 - YOU OKAY? 262 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,799 - ARE THEY LOOKING? 263 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,736 - NO. WHY? 264 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:43,737 - COME HERE. 265 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,942 - WHAT? 266 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:53,080 - YOU HAVE GOT TO TAKE THIS TEST! 267 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:53,881 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 268 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,148 - I'M TALKING, 269 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:58,151 SHE FEELS SO BAD FOR ME, I GOT IT MADE. 270 00:11:58,185 --> 00:12:00,353 SHE'S GETTING LEMON IN MY SODA. 271 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,354 I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. 272 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,891 SHE'S DOING EVERYTHING FOR ME, 273 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,458 INCLUDING... 274 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,996 - NO! 275 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,131 - YES! 276 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:14,334 OH-- 277 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,403 YOU KNOW, WHEN THE RESULTS CAME IN, 278 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,839 AT FIRST I WAS UPSET BECAUSE I WAS STUPID. 279 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,141 NOW THIS IS THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED. 280 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,543 - OH, I GOT TO TAKE THIS TEST. 281 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,813 - YES. 282 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,015 - I JUST HOPE I'M STUPID ENOUGH. 283 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,282 - DON'T WORRY. 284 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,293 - HOW YOU FEELING? 285 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,062 - OH, YOU KNOW. 286 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,196 - HERE YOU GO, HONEY. 287 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,399 - ICE CREAM ON THE COUCH? 288 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,135 - MM-HMM. 289 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,503 - IT'S MY FAVORITE. 290 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,139 NONE FOR YOU? 291 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,007 - THAT WAS THE LAST OF IT, SO... 292 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:56,409 - OH. SORRY. 293 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,390 - UM, YOU KNOW, HONEY, I WAS THINKING, 294 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,225 THAT HEALTH INSURANCE HAS TO BE IN TOMORROW. 295 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,827 DID YOU FINISH IT YET? 296 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,228 - HEALTH INSURANCE? 297 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,364 OH, YOU KNOW, I WANT TO. 298 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,832 I WANT TO. 299 00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:21,301 BUT I'VE JUST BEEN, YOU KNOW, 300 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,136 SO DOWN. 301 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,376 MAYBE YOU SHOULD-- - WHAT? 302 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,611 - WELL, I MEAN, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT, 303 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,046 AND I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD TRUST IT 304 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,282 TO SOMEBODY LIKE ME. 305 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,888 MMM, FUDGY. 306 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,555 - ALL RIGHT. 307 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,491 ALL RIGHT, THAT IS IT. 308 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,993 YOU KNOW, AT FIRST I FELT BAD 309 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,294 BECAUSE YOU WERE SO DEPRESSED, 310 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,262 BUT NOW I THINK YOU'RE REALLY MILKING IT HERE. 311 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,031 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 312 00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,266 - OH, WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK I SEE THROUGH THIS? 313 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,135 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 314 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,603 - I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, RAY. 315 00:13:56,636 --> 00:14:01,341 MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY, YOU LITTLE WEASEL. 316 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:05,478 - OH, I'M--I'M DEPRESSED AGAIN. 317 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,481 - DO THE HEALTH INSURANCE, YOU BIG FAKE. 318 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,484 "MMM, FUDGY." GIVE ME THAT. 319 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,088 - YOU KNOW, I READ SOMEWHERE 320 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:16,489 WHERE THE HAPPIEST MARRIAGES ARE THE ONES 321 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,225 WHERE THE MAN IS SMARTER. 322 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,228 - GUESS WHO WROTE THAT. 323 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:24,097 [doorbell rings] 324 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,366 GET THE DOOR. 325 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,567 IT'S THAT BIG WOODEN THING 326 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,602 WITH THE KNOB THAT'S NOT YOUR HEAD. 327 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,374 - EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 328 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,909 I THOUGHT I SAW AN ARGUMENT. 329 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,916 - STOP STALKING US. 330 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,154 - THIS WOULDN'T BE ABOUT THE, UH... 331 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,256 - NO. - WOULD IT? 332 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,024 - YEAH, WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT. 333 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,126 - OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW 334 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,429 I THINK I MIGHT HAVE, UH, MADE A MISTAKE 335 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,499 WITH YOUR TEST RESULTS, JUMBLED THEM. 336 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,202 - WH-WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 337 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,504 - WELL, ACTUALLY, RAYMOND, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SCORED 338 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,373 ONE STANDARD DEVIATION HIGHER THAN DEBRA. 339 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,208 - WHAT? 340 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,345 - GOOD NIGHT. 341 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,321 - WELL... 342 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,423 NOW IT'S A HAPPY MARRIAGE. 343 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,692 FUDGY. 344 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,341 - NO. 345 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,512 NO. 346 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,217 NO. 347 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,323 NO. 348 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,761 NO, NO, NO. 349 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,170 NOOOOO. 350 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,111 NO. 351 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,481 NO! 352 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,185 - DEBRA. 353 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:02,489 - YOU HAD TO TELL YOUR MOTHER 354 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,457 THAT YOU'RE THE SMARTER ONE. 355 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,825 - SHE'S MY MOTHER. 356 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,227 IF I CAN'T TELL HER, WHO CAN I TELL? 357 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,361 - YOU TOLD LINDA. 358 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,563 - NO, I DID-- NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 359 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:11,564 I WOULD NEVER TELL LINDA. 360 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,466 - THEN YOU TOLD BERNIE. 361 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,535 - WELL, WHO KNEW HE'D TALK TO HIS WIFE? 362 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,737 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 363 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,606 I HAVE BEEN HOLDING THIS IN ALL DAY. 364 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:23,776 THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOU ARE SMARTER THAN ME. 365 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:27,380 - SMARTER THAN I. 366 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,449 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE 18TH-CENTURY POET 367 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,451 WHO WROTE "A MODEST PROPOSAL," HUH? 368 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,253 HUH? 369 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,688 - YEAH, WELL, WHAT'S THE NAME OF "THE TWILIGHT ZONE" 370 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,158 WHERE THE ASTRONAUTS MEET THE GIANT LADY? 371 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,428 - OH, PLEASE. 372 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,230 WHO'S THE FIRST WOMAN TO WIN A NOBEL PRIZE? 373 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:46,533 - HOW MUCH DOES MICKEY ROONEY WEIGH ON THE MOON? 374 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:51,638 - WHAT'S A PETIT FOUR? 375 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,340 - WHAT'S A WEDGIE? 376 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,378 - WHEN YOU FIRST MET ME, 377 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,580 WAS MY HAIR LONG OR SHORT? 378 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,521 - WELL... 379 00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:09,589 I KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE; 380 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,358 IT WAS BLONDE. 381 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:16,596 OH, THAT WASN'T YOU. 382 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,298 YEAH, BUT I BROKE UP WITH HER THEN 383 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,666 TO GO OUT WITH YOU. 384 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,137 ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUST SLEEP ON THE COUCH. 385 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,642 - NO. 386 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,223 - GOT YOU SOME COFFEE. 387 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,591 - OH, THANKS. 388 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,873 - IT WAS SHORT. 389 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,309 IT WAS SHORT. 390 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,911 I REMEMBER IT WAS CURLY, 391 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,647 'CAUSE IT WAS RAINING OUT. 392 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,616 AND IT WAS LIGHTER THAN IT IS NOW, 393 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:13,286 BUT I REMEMBER IT WAS SHORT. 394 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,688 - OH, RAY. 395 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:16,889 NO. 396 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,568 - I TOOK A SHOT. 397 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,506 COME ON; WHY HAS THIS TEST GOTTEN YOU SO UPSET? 398 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,775 - I JUST THOUGHT I KNEW WHO WE WERE, 399 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,978 LIKE AS A COUPLE. 400 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:43,316 YOU KNOW, OUR STRENGTHS, OUR WEAKNESSES AND-- 401 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,984 LOOK AT ME. 402 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,519 YOU GOT TO KNOW DEEP DOWN 403 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,755 THAT I'M SMARTER THAN YOU, DON'T YOU? 404 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,626 - LOOK, IF IT WAS UP TO ME, I'D BE AS DUMB AS A POST, 405 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,696 BUT NUMBERS DON'T LIE. 406 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,468 - HEY. 407 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,735 BUSY? 408 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:06,939 - WHAT, ROBERT? 409 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:09,342 - WELL, YOU KNOW THAT I.Q. TEST I GAVE YOU? 410 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:10,777 - YEAH. YEAH. 411 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,512 - WELL, THOSE WEREN'T YOUR REAL SCORES. 412 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,913 - WHAT? 413 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,882 - WHOSE SCORES WERE THEY? 414 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,417 - WELL, I HAD TO SET YOU UP. 415 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,818 HEY, POP TART. 416 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,555 - YOU SET US UP? 417 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,291 - I HAD TO DO IT FOR THE CREDIT. 418 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,392 I MEAN, I COULDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT IT, 419 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,926 'CAUSE THAT WAS PART OF THE CLASS, 420 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,762 AND THEN, YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T GET THE CREDIT. 421 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,600 - WE WERE FOR CREDIT. - MM-HMM. 422 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,002 BUT, SEE, THE REAL TEST WAS ABOUT HUMAN BEHAVIOR. 423 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:37,637 YOU KNOW, LIKE HOW A SUSPECT WOULD ACT 424 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,972 IF YOU MESSED WITH HIS SELF-IMAGE. 425 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,409 - WE'RE NOT SUSPECTS. 426 00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,277 - OF COURSE NOT. 427 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:45,278 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU 428 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:46,679 A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS, SIR. 429 00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:53,320 - WAIT A MINUTE. 430 00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:56,055 WHAT ARE YOU TELLING-- YOU MADE UP THE SCORES? 431 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,457 - YEAH. 432 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:58,558 - AND THEN YOU SWITCHED THEM AROUND 433 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,293 TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO US. 434 00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:01,828 - YEAH. 435 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,335 D-D-DID YOU TURN ON EACH OTHER? 436 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,737 - ROBERT, WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING FOR THREE DAYS! 437 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:11,871 - OKAY, WAIT, I GOT TO GET THAT DOWN. 438 00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,873 I GOT TO FILL A FIVE-PAGE PAPER. 439 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,808 - I HAD TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH LAST NIGHT. 440 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:16,809 - OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. 441 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,845 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS WORKED. 442 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,349 - NO, ROBERT, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO PEOPLE. 443 00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,951 - OKAY, WAIT, A LITTLE SLOWER. 444 00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,018 - WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 445 00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:27,687 LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 446 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,723 SO I'M NOT SMARTER THAN HER? 447 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,959 - I'D BE VERY SURPRISED. 448 00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:47,574 - GOOD MORNING. 449 00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:50,410 - MA, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 450 00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:52,044 - WE TOOK THE TEST. 451 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:55,548 - WHAT HAPPENED? 452 00:21:55,582 --> 00:21:57,384 - WELL-- 453 00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:13,366 - UH... 454 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,736 LISTEN, MOM, DAD, ABOUT THE TEST RESULTS. 455 00:22:16,769 --> 00:22:19,639 I THINK I MAY HAVE JUMBLED THEM. 456 00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:20,907 - JUMBLED? 457 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:23,676 - YEAH, MAYBE MADE A MISTAKE WITH THE COLUMNS. 458 00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:25,445 WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT OVER AT THE HOUSE. 459 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:26,813 I THINK I MIXED-- I MIXED AND MATCHED THEM. 460 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,381 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 461 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:32,419 EXTRA CREDIT. 28742

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