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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,920 - Can you move along please? 2 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,560 You can't settle here. 3 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,880 Oh Paul, thank god it's you. 4 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,760 - Did you think them gypsies were back? 5 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,360 - How many times, Paul? 6 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,000 They're called nomadic travellers and yes I did. 7 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,400 What're you doing here? 8 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,800 - Well I was going to pitch up next to the canal 9 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,720 but it's 40 quid a night and full of doggers. 10 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:32,760 - Why? 11 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,840 - Because there's plenty of big bushes next to that towpath. 12 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,040 - No, why are you in your caravan? 13 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,200 - It's yvette, she's kicked me out. 14 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,120 - What happened? 15 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,760 - She's mad because I finally told her sister 16 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,040 what I think of her. 17 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,440 - Do you not like her sister? 18 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,760 - Oh no, quite the opposite. 19 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,680 - Well Paul, all I can say is your lucky 20 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,000 it's a Friday night. 21 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,480 I've got more cheap vino than you'd find 22 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,920 in a big vat in a magic travellers wedding. 23 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,400 - All aboard. 24 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,400 - Toot toot here I come. 25 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,440 ♫ We're gonna make it work 26 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,080 ♫ gonna make it work 27 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:10,040 ♫ some day we're gonna make this work 28 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,760 do you know the last time I was in a caravan 29 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,000 I was 19 and had to share a tiny pullout bed 30 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,560 with my two best friends. 31 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,720 - Now there's a mental image. 32 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,480 Seriously though, check this out. 33 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,000 Look at that action. 34 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,600 - Oh that is impressive Paul. 35 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,800 - Memory foam, because you'll never forget a night 36 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,320 spent on this bed. 37 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,200 - Who's that. 38 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,040 - Could be yvette. 39 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:47,960 - Oh god what if she thinks we were, 40 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:48,960 not that we were. 41 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:49,800 - Hide! 42 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,480 Hold on won't be a moment. 43 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:56,760 Janette. 44 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,040 - Thought you might be glad of a proper dinner. 45 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,440 Faggots and peas. 46 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,160 I know them shoes. 47 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,120 Patricia collingwood. 48 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,040 - Jannette, hiya. 49 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,400 We're just enjoying a completely innocent, friendly drink. 50 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,200 - You didn't waste much time, did you? 51 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,680 You do not deserve my faggots. 52 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,480 Fornicators. 53 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,440 - Karl you need to take this staff appraisal seriously. 54 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,000 - I am taking it seriously. 55 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:45,800 - Where it says, 56 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,200 "where do you want to be in five years' time" 57 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,640 you've drawn a picture of yourself at Warwick castle. 58 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:51,800 - I've never been. 59 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,960 - Well we'll go for your birthday but right now 60 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,000 I'm your deputy manager not your girlfriend 61 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,760 and there is actually a serious issue 62 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,680 we need to address today. 63 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,000 On average you're signing on over 80% of your job seekers. 64 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,960 That's the highest rate in the whole of the center. 65 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,560 - Yes, get it! 66 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:08,400 Ta da! 67 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,320 Don't leave me hanging. 68 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,640 - That's not a good thing, Karl, it's a bad thing. 69 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,480 You need to start getting more job seekers off benefits 70 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:17,560 and soon. 71 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,720 I hate to say this, but you should take a look at Angela. 72 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,680 - Ooh, you hate Angela. 73 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,400 - Yeah, I do. 74 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,000 I really do. 75 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,280 But she is annoyingly effective. 76 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,520 You need to toughen up. 77 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:30,360 - I can toughen up. 78 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,360 - Says the guy who cried watching frozen. 79 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,080 - I thought we were keeping this professional. 80 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,520 - You just need to show me that you can, 81 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:36,960 you know, man up. 82 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,760 - Like when princess Elsa mastered her ice powers 83 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:41,800 and saved her kingdom. 84 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,760 - No, Karl. 85 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,200 You need to be strong and forceful and direct. 86 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,760 You need to stop being so passive. 87 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,800 When I ask you if you want deep pan or thin crust, 88 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,320 don't just say you don't mind. 89 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,600 - Well I don't mind. 90 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,720 - I want you to mind. 91 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,800 - Okay I hate thin crust. 92 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,640 - That's it. 93 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,960 That is the Karl I want you to be out there, now go get 'em. 94 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,440 - Morning. 95 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,440 This a charity or something? 96 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,400 Dressed like a tramp man day. 97 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,440 - My wife's kicked me out. 98 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,520 - Oh Paul I am so sorry. 99 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,800 - Where's your uniform? 100 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,840 - Yvette won't let me back in the house to get it. 101 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,200 - You can hardly blame her. 102 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,840 - Nothing was going on. 103 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:19,840 - I've tried telling her. 104 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,440 - I caught the pair of you in Hugh grant-i. 105 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,840 - It's inflagrante. 106 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:24,960 Sorry what are we talking about? 107 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,600 - Janette I don't know what you think you saw, 108 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,760 but nothing happened. 109 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:28,960 - I know what I saw. 110 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,800 - You spread eagled in your bra and knick-Knicks. 111 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,960 Probably waiting for him to tie you up 112 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,760 and whip you with a retractable washing line. 113 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,200 It's etched on my memory, Trish. 114 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,520 - Janette, I didn't even know he had 115 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,760 a retractable washing line. 116 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,480 - Home wrecker. 117 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,800 - Angela is that a food blender on your desk? 118 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,680 - It's not a food blender, it's a medical masticator. 119 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,400 - Well it looks like a blender to me. 120 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,000 I assume you know the rules about food preparation 121 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,440 at a work station. 122 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,400 - And I assume you know the diversity guidelines. 123 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,240 If you are disabled your employer must provide 124 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,480 the reasonable adjustments needed. 125 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,880 - You're not disabled, Angela. 126 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,720 - I've got chronic ibs. 127 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,680 Masticating my food soothes my bowels. 128 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,240 - I don't think ibs counts as a disability. 129 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,280 - There you are. 130 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,280 You've clearly never been caught in traffic 131 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:29,720 and forced to improvise with a tube of pringles. 132 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,040 - Howdy partner. 133 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,520 - Howdy, nice getup. 134 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,440 - Yeah I do a bit of country and Western singing 135 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,160 in my spare time. 136 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,240 Oh, can I have a biscuit. 137 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,080 Um... 138 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,040 No, sorry. 139 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,640 Right, sir, have you been looking for work? 140 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,840 - Well you know what they say, you can lead a horse to water 141 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,600 but you can't make it drink. 142 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,160 - So have you? 143 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:17,960 - No. 144 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,440 - But I have been doing a whole lot of singing though. 145 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,520 - Well singing doesn't count. 146 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,400 Okay I can get you an interview 147 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:30,520 at the main poundland depot on Thursday afternoon. 148 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,000 - Ah, no can do I'm afraid kemosabe. 149 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,800 See I've got to be in tipton at four for a sound check. 150 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,480 It's a big event called the wild west Midlands. 151 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:39,560 - Well you're going to have to miss it. 152 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:40,600 - I can't do that. 153 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,200 It's my big chance? 154 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,960 I'm supporting Johnny cashback. 155 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,200 He's great. 156 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,000 And if you don't like him you get a refund. 157 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,360 - Well I can't accept hobbies as an excuse. 158 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,280 If it's getting in the way of seeking employment 159 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,320 I have to be tough about it. 160 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,880 - But this is more than a hobby, this is my dream. 161 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,080 - Okay well this isn't the x factor mate. 162 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,080 Now let's just get you a proper career, shall we, 163 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,760 as a pallet driver at poundland. 164 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,640 - Well it looks like we've got ourselves a standoff 165 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,800 because I ain't going to no poundland. 166 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,600 - Well let me put it this a-way, if you refuse 167 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,080 I'm stopping your benefits. 168 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,360 - Are you drawing a line in the sand. 169 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,600 - Yeah, I am actually. 170 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,280 I am drawing a line in the sand. 171 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:34,160 - Right, you ain't seen the last of me. 172 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,800 I'll be back tomorrow, high noon. 173 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,640 - Oh, okay well the first available appointment 174 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:42,240 isn't until 10 past two, so good luck with that. 175 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,840 Yeah, I hate thin crust. 176 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:48,680 Woo hoo. 177 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000 - Karl, you busy tonight. 178 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 - Yeah, I'm meant to be seeing Natalie. 179 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,440 - Shame, us boys heading out back 180 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,680 for a few beers in the caravan. 181 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,200 - You know what, actually I'm up for that. 182 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,440 I could see Natalie any night. 183 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:09,280 - Great. 184 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,120 - Come on. 185 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,960 - Yeah let's make it a proper lads night, eh? 186 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,280 - Beers, grub. 187 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,160 - Wrestling! 188 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,160 - No wrestling. 189 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,000 - Yeah. 190 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,320 - Let's have a game of poker, huh? 191 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,200 - Yeah. 192 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,080 - Poker, brilliant, yeah. 193 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,640 I've always wanted to give that a go. 194 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,840 - Hang on, you've never played poker? 195 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,760 - No, I'm absolutely useless with cards 196 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,800 but it always looks like so much fun, you know. 197 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,600 - Alright then, we are definitely playing. 198 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,360 - Oh this is exciting. 199 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,200 What should I bring. 200 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:36,600 - Just bring yourself ash and say, what, 80 quid in cash? 201 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,680 - Come on Karl it's his first time playing. 202 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:42,000 Be easy for him if we rounded up to 100. 203 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,480 - 100 yeah cool better safe than sorry. 204 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,040 - Great, you guys are the best. 205 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,920 - Right, have you decided what we're doing tonight? 206 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:53,960 - Yeah you can do what you like, 207 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,280 I'm having a night with the boys. 208 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,280 - Really? 209 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:00,080 - Yeah we might even order a deep pan pizza. 210 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,080 In fact, we definitely will. 211 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,400 - Karl it was a staff review. 212 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,400 Get over it. 213 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,440 Oh come on I wanted to go somewhere and get a curry. 214 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,440 - No I want to hang out with a recently separated 215 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,160 middle aged man and a shit therapist 216 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,320 in a caravan in a carpark. 217 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,480 - I've got two pair. 218 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,400 - Two pair. 219 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,280 - House. 220 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,280 - It's not bingo. 221 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,480 - Sorry full house. 222 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,160 I guess that means I win again, right. 223 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,520 I am having a great time. 224 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,680 - I don't know how you do it. 225 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,360 - Well on that last hand I could tell you were bluffing 226 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,560 because your eyes went to the top left 227 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,560 and you touched your face. 228 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,760 And I could tell Karl was bluffing because he said, 229 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,600 "oh for fuck sake" when he looked at his cards. 230 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,360 Ah, this game is so much fun. 231 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,520 Back in a sec. 232 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,680 - Un-be-freaking-leavable. 233 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,600 - Paul, can I ask you something personal. 234 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:58,720 - You having trouble getting your little soldier 235 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,280 to stand to attention? 236 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,560 Can't help you mate, never happened to me. 237 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,240 - No, no it's not that. 238 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,720 Do you think I'm tough? 239 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:07,560 - No. 240 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,680 - Yeah but I could be though if I wanted to be, right? 241 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,280 - No, sorry mate. 242 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,480 It's just one of those things. 243 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,520 You've got small hands. 244 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,360 - Talking about needing a royal flush. 245 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,200 - Wait, you didn't put toilet paper down the loo did you? 246 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,000 - No. 247 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,400 - Only it's a chemical toilet, can't take bulk roll. 248 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,240 - I didn't, no. 249 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,840 - You just touched your face. 250 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,960 - And your eyes went up to the left. 251 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,480 - Oh what is that smell? 252 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,560 - Shitty Nora. 253 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:46,960 - What are you up to? 254 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,480 - Cleaning up the damage done last night 255 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,600 by sir shits a lot here. 256 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,480 - That's the time. 257 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,880 I never thought I'd say this 258 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,360 but thank god I've got to get to bloxwich. 259 00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,280 - Can we be friends again? 260 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,880 - I suppose so. 261 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,200 It's not your fault that you got tempted onto the rocks 262 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,880 by that siren. 263 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:05,720 - Whatever you say, 264 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,000 you can give me a hand mopping out the bog. 265 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,280 - No, Paul. 266 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,720 I've got to get back inside. 267 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,720 Wait, is that swingball? 268 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,600 - Ah, so you're back are you. 269 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,520 - This job center ain't big enough for the both of us. 270 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,040 - What does that even mean? 271 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,400 - It means I want my benefits 272 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,400 and this is your final warning. 273 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,920 - Well I'm not backing down. 274 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:31,920 If you want your money, 275 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,720 you're going to have to do things my way. 276 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,960 - I'm telling you that I want my money. 277 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,200 - And I'm telling you, 278 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,560 you're going to have to go through me to get it. 279 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:45,200 - Well that's big talk for a man with such small hands. 280 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,680 - Is there a problem here? 281 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:50,440 - Yes, this man here wants to take my dreams from me. 282 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,240 - Well sir, if your dreams are getting in the way 283 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,240 of you finding gainful employment, 284 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,480 he's entitled to do that. 285 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,880 - Oh we'll see about that. 286 00:11:58,880 --> 00:11:59,800 - Careful he's got a gun. 287 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,680 - Karl do something! 288 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,120 - Can't move I'm frozen. 289 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,640 - Look I don't want anyone to get hurt. 290 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,040 I've only got one demand which is... 291 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,360 With a rope ladder. 292 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,840 - Have you not seen someone masticate before. 293 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:18,680 - Right that's it. 294 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,400 Me and the little lady here are taking a walk. 295 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,480 - Karl, Karl. 296 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,320 - Shh, quiet, no funny stuff. 297 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,080 - Where the hell is security? 298 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,560 - Mr. cowboy? 299 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:35,440 - It's Kevin. 300 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,520 - Kevin the cowboy. 301 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,120 - It's just Kevin. 302 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,080 - Just Kevin the cowboy. 303 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:39,920 - Kevin! 304 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,600 - Please don't kill me. 305 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,160 - Look will you try and calm down. 306 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,760 - Yeah I'm sorry I've never been stuck up 307 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,360 at gunpoint before. 308 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,360 I was just thinking, maybe now that they've 309 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,200 evacuated the building we could go downstairs. 310 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,000 I would be happy to process your claim. 311 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000 - Too late for that. 312 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,320 - Could we go inside at least? 313 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,400 We definitely shouldn't be up here. 314 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,080 This is a health and safety nightmare. 315 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,160 - Well of course it is. 316 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,120 We're up here on a roof and I've got a gun. 317 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,440 - Please don't shoot me. 318 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,320 Sorry. 319 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,160 I can't help it. 320 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,760 - Will you just sit down and shut up. 321 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:12,600 - Yup. 322 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,520 - Tryin' to think here. 323 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:22,600 - It's him, it's Karl. 324 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,080 - Go ahead, answer it. 325 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,080 - Trish, this is Karl. 326 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,080 Tell him we should swap places. 327 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,760 It's me he's got a problem with not you. 328 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,560 - Trish this is ash. 329 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,080 I'm back from bloxwich. 330 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,320 Listen carefully. 331 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,880 I have studied a module in criminology. 332 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,640 I'm going to negotiate with this cowboy 333 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,000 and defuse the whole situation okay? 334 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,960 - Now it's our district work psychologist 335 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,920 and he wants to talk to you. 336 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,080 - Let me talk to him ash. 337 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,200 - Karl, did you get 61% for an essay you wrote 338 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,160 on the 1980 Iranian embassy siege? 339 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,000 - No. 340 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 - Well I suggest you leave this to me. 341 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,200 Hello cowboy. 342 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,320 - It's Kevin. 343 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,360 - Now I want you to stay calm. 344 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,400 - I am staying calm. 345 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,240 This is quite a unique situation isn't it? 346 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,080 - I'm sorry. 347 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:09,520 - I said this predicament we're in, it's quite unique. 348 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,520 - Well something can't be quite unique, can it? 349 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,880 - Well this is quite unique. 350 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,520 - No the word unique is an absolute. 351 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,800 It can't be modified, understand. 352 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,200 Something is either unique or it isn't. 353 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,040 Hello? 354 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,440 - How well do you say that went then, 61%? 355 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,120 - Angela, you can't leave. 356 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,200 - If I can't work I've no obligation to stay. 357 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,240 - But when the police get here 358 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,080 they'll want to speak to all the witnesses. 359 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,800 - Then they can contact my lawyer. 360 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,080 Oh and don't expect me back in for a week. 361 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,400 I've got trauma. 362 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,320 - Don't you want to hang around to see if Trish is okay? 363 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,720 - If she gets shot I'll see it on Midlands today. 364 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,360 - I was so rude to her. 365 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,400 If something happened I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. 366 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,200 - Don't worry janette, Trish is going to be fine, 367 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,160 right ash? 368 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,000 - I doubt it. 369 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,120 Even if she gets out of this alive 370 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,840 she'll probably be damaged psychologically. 371 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,920 She might get panic attacks, Stockholm syndrome... 372 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,280 - fear of going to Ikea? 373 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,320 I get that a lot. 374 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,520 - Is Stockholm syndrome that one where the hostages 375 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:11,800 fall for their captors? 376 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,520 - It happens all the time, in very clear stages. 377 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,680 Once the fear of the situation has passed, 378 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,120 the hostage will confide in the captor, 379 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,600 often getting quite emotional and upset. 380 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,760 - And then janette called me a homewrecker, 381 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,360 but I swear nothing happened, 382 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,640 I mean as if I'd do that to someone 383 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,960 after going through a divorce myself. 384 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,560 - It's at this stage that a simple first connection is made. 385 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,320 - Divorce is tough. 386 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,000 - Have you been divorced too? 387 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,520 - She left me eight years ago. 388 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,320 If she'd stayed there's no way 389 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,760 I'd be on this roof right now. 390 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,480 - I can completely understand. 391 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,440 - From there the hostage and hostage taker 392 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,640 will form a close bond. 393 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,640 - Getting a bit chilly Willy. 394 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,240 - Unlikely though it sounds, 395 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,400 they form a sort of partnership. 396 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,840 The hostage sees him as a source of comfort, 397 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,640 safety and inspiration. 398 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,120 She may even adopt characteristics of the hostage taker, 399 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,360 his mannerisms, even his clothing. 400 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,520 - Thank you kind cowboy. 401 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,720 - If there's one thing they knew how to do in the old west, 402 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,120 it was how to treat a little lady. 403 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,080 Apart from the prostitution and all that. 404 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:13,240 - And like that Stockholm syndrome has kicked in. 405 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,240 - Don't worry partner, I've got your back. 406 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,120 - Here come the cavalry. 407 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,760 - It's you and me against the world. 408 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,720 - Uh inspector the perp is on the roof. 409 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,600 He's in his 50s, he's a male Caucasian, cowboy. 410 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,560 - Okay listen up, until the firearms unit 411 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,600 have properly assessed the situation, keep your distance. 412 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,880 Under no circumstances should anyone attempt to contact 413 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,800 the hostage taker directly. 414 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,640 - I was merely pointing out the definition 415 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,040 of the word unique. 416 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,720 Please do not shoot the hostage. 417 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:08,960 - Incoming. 418 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,080 - It's Trish's shoe. 419 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,800 - It's Trish's handwriting. 420 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,600 They want a megaphone delivered to the roof 421 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,280 and Karl they want you to do it. 422 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,040 - I'll do it. 423 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,040 - No, Karl. 424 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,720 - Well you were the one who told me to man up. 425 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,480 - Well I meant work a bit harder 426 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,560 not turn into Bruce fucking Willis. 427 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,440 - Incoming. 428 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,120 It's Trish's other shoe. 429 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,560 - Trish also says 430 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,600 can you bring her shoes back up when you're... 431 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,520 - Oh yeah. 432 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,320 - There's a microphone hidden there so we can listen in. 433 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,640 Any information's useful to the firearms unit 434 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,440 so keep talking, understood? 435 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,280 - Understood. 436 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,840 - Right let's get you switched up. 437 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,280 - Karl, you can't do this. 438 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,200 - Natalie, I've made my decision. 439 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,280 I'm going up there. 440 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,600 - I mean literally, you won't be able to. 441 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,800 You're scared of heights, right? 442 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,040 - Not really. 443 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,800 - Do you not remember how you were when we got in that 444 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,320 glass lift at the bull ring? 445 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,880 - Okay maybe I'm a little bit scared of heights 446 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,760 and maybe I do have small hands. 447 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,840 And yes I did cry at frozen when the little snowman 448 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,440 nearly melted, but you know what Natalie, 449 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,240 sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do. 450 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:25,200 - Well at least we know your microphone's working. 451 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,920 - I'm not armed, I'm not armed. 452 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,600 - Karl, come and join the posse. 453 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,240 - Thanks Trish, who sits on an air vent 454 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,040 about five or six meters ahead of me. 455 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:35,880 - What? 456 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:40,560 - Huh, what, oh nothing he says taking three steps 457 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,840 away from the roof door. 458 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,000 - Stop talking like that. 459 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,040 - Alright then. 460 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,640 Gunman who is sitting next to Trish near the air vent 461 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,160 about five or six meters ahead of me. 462 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,000 - Stop. 463 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,440 - Aw come on, there's no room for ill feeling 464 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,000 in the rooftop gang. 465 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,120 - I brought what you asked for. 466 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,400 What's going on Trish? 467 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,760 - Kevin the cowboy demands an apology. 468 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,760 - Oh I'm really sorry for being rude 469 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,480 about your singing career. 470 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,880 For all I know you could be really good. 471 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,840 - Well Karl, you're about to find out. 472 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,360 - Am I? 473 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,200 - I'm giving Kevin a chance to prove to you, 474 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,760 to everybody, that he can sing. 475 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,320 Go ahead cowboy. 476 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,840 Sing your heart out. 477 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,840 This is your big moment. 478 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,360 Karl. 479 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:30,440 - Oh yeah, go on, follow your dreams. 480 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,480 - Oh thanks partners. 481 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:35,360 Right. 482 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,720 ♫ I am a poor wayfaring stranger 483 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,920 ♫ in this world I walk alone 484 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,360 - Trish, Trish, make a break for it. 485 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,520 - I'm not leaving him, Karl, listen to that voice. 486 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,600 It's beautiful. 487 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,280 - Trish! 488 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,040 ♫ In that bright land to which I go 489 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,960 - Trish! ♫ And I'm going to see 490 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,760 - oh my god that's high ♫ my partners 491 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,640 - that is, oh my god that is high. 492 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:04,840 Oh my, oh no. 493 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,520 - Wait I'm hearing something else. 494 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,720 - Oh no, I'm going to die, that's it. 495 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,960 - It sounds like one of the hostages is being threatened. 496 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,720 Firearms unit standby for action. 497 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,280 - I'm going to die, oh no I'm going to die. 498 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,840 ♫ Well I'm going home 499 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,760 - oh god he's torturing Trish! 500 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,400 - All units go go go. 501 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,920 - Put the gun down! 502 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,960 Get on the floor! 503 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,800 - I'm not the cowboy, he's the cowboy. 504 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,320 - Right, back off or I'll shoot the little lady here. 505 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,320 - I thought we were partners. 506 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,120 - Will you just shut up? 507 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,240 - I hate thin crust, I hate thin crust. 508 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,080 Yippee ki-yay cowboy! 509 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:45,600 - Oh no, no! 510 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,400 - Karl! 511 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,960 Oh thank god for that. 512 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,360 Right, that's it. 513 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,680 The milky bars are on me. 514 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,000 - Last time I trusted a cowboy 515 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,680 I got overcharged for my patio. 516 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,600 - Something wrong with your toilet, mate? 517 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,280 Paper won't flush. 518 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,440 - Shitty Nora. 519 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,520 - Karl that was very brave. 520 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:25,360 - Yeah? 521 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,480 Like princess Elsa brave. 522 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,320 - Princess Elsa brave. 523 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,400 - Oh. 524 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,200 - The center's going to be shut for the rest of the day, so 525 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,200 are you hanging out with the lads 526 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,560 or are you coming home with me? 527 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,440 - Definitely going with you. 528 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,840 - Good. 529 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,120 'Cause you know what you're going to get 530 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,160 for being such a brave boy? 531 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,000 - What? 37732

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