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1
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,920
- Can you move along please?
2
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,560
You can't settle here.
3
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,880
Oh Paul, thank god it's you.
4
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,760
- Did you think them gypsies were back?
5
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,360
- How many times, Paul?
6
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,000
They're called nomadic
travellers and yes I did.
7
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,400
What're you doing here?
8
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,800
- Well I was going to pitch
up next to the canal
9
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,720
but it's 40 quid a night
and full of doggers.
10
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:32,760
- Why?
11
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,840
- Because there's plenty of big
bushes next to that towpath.
12
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,040
- No, why are you in your caravan?
13
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,200
- It's yvette, she's kicked me out.
14
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,120
- What happened?
15
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,760
- She's mad because I
finally told her sister
16
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,040
what I think of her.
17
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,440
- Do you not like her sister?
18
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,760
- Oh no, quite the opposite.
19
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,680
- Well Paul, all I can
say is your lucky
20
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,000
it's a Friday night.
21
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,480
I've got more cheap
vino than you'd find
22
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,920
in a big vat in a magic
travellers wedding.
23
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,400
- All aboard.
24
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,400
- Toot toot here I come.
25
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,440
♫ We're gonna make it work
26
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,080
♫ gonna make it work
27
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:10,040
♫ some day we're gonna make this work
28
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,760
do you know the last
time I was in a caravan
29
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,000
I was 19 and had to share
a tiny pullout bed
30
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,560
with my two best friends.
31
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,720
- Now there's a mental image.
32
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,480
Seriously though, check this out.
33
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,000
Look at that action.
34
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,600
- Oh that is impressive Paul.
35
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,800
- Memory foam, because
you'll never forget a night
36
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,320
spent on this bed.
37
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,200
- Who's that.
38
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,040
- Could be yvette.
39
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:47,960
- Oh god what if she thinks we were,
40
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:48,960
not that we were.
41
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:49,800
- Hide!
42
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,480
Hold on won't be a moment.
43
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:56,760
Janette.
44
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,040
- Thought you might be
glad of a proper dinner.
45
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,440
Faggots and peas.
46
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,160
I know them shoes.
47
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,120
Patricia collingwood.
48
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,040
- Jannette, hiya.
49
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,400
We're just enjoying a completely
innocent, friendly drink.
50
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,200
- You didn't waste much time, did you?
51
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,680
You do not deserve my faggots.
52
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,480
Fornicators.
53
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,440
- Karl you need to take this
staff appraisal seriously.
54
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,000
- I am taking it seriously.
55
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:45,800
- Where it says,
56
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,200
"where do you want to
be in five years' time"
57
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,640
you've drawn a picture of
yourself at Warwick castle.
58
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:51,800
- I've never been.
59
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,960
- Well we'll go for your
birthday but right now
60
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,000
I'm your deputy manager
not your girlfriend
61
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,760
and there is actually a serious issue
62
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,680
we need to address today.
63
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,000
On average you're signing on
over 80% of your job seekers.
64
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,960
That's the highest rate in
the whole of the center.
65
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,560
- Yes, get it!
66
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:08,400
Ta da!
67
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,320
Don't leave me hanging.
68
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,640
- That's not a good thing,
Karl, it's a bad thing.
69
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,480
You need to start getting
more job seekers off benefits
70
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:17,560
and soon.
71
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,720
I hate to say this, but you
should take a look at Angela.
72
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,680
- Ooh, you hate Angela.
73
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,400
- Yeah, I do.
74
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,000
I really do.
75
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,280
But she is annoyingly effective.
76
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,520
You need to toughen up.
77
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:30,360
- I can toughen up.
78
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,360
- Says the guy who
cried watching frozen.
79
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,080
- I thought we were keeping
this professional.
80
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,520
- You just need to
show me that you can,
81
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:36,960
you know, man up.
82
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,760
- Like when princess Elsa
mastered her ice powers
83
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:41,800
and saved her kingdom.
84
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,760
- No, Karl.
85
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,200
You need to be strong and
forceful and direct.
86
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,760
You need to stop being so passive.
87
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,800
When I ask you if you want
deep pan or thin crust,
88
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,320
don't just say you don't mind.
89
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,600
- Well I don't mind.
90
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,720
- I want you to mind.
91
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,800
- Okay I hate thin crust.
92
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,640
- That's it.
93
00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,960
That is the Karl I want you to
be out there, now go get 'em.
94
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,440
- Morning.
95
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,440
This a charity or something?
96
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,400
Dressed like a tramp man day.
97
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,440
- My wife's kicked me out.
98
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,520
- Oh Paul I am so sorry.
99
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,800
- Where's your uniform?
100
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,840
- Yvette won't let me back
in the house to get it.
101
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,200
- You can hardly blame her.
102
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,840
- Nothing was going on.
103
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:19,840
- I've tried telling her.
104
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,440
- I caught the pair of
you in Hugh grant-i.
105
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,840
- It's inflagrante.
106
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:24,960
Sorry what are we talking about?
107
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,600
- Janette I don't know
what you think you saw,
108
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,760
but nothing happened.
109
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:28,960
- I know what I saw.
110
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,800
- You spread eagled in
your bra and knick-Knicks.
111
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,960
Probably waiting for him to tie you up
112
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,760
and whip you with a
retractable washing line.
113
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,200
It's etched on my memory, Trish.
114
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,520
- Janette, I didn't even know he had
115
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,760
a retractable washing line.
116
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,480
- Home wrecker.
117
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,800
- Angela is that a food
blender on your desk?
118
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,680
- It's not a food blender,
it's a medical masticator.
119
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,400
- Well it looks like a blender to me.
120
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,000
I assume you know the rules
about food preparation
121
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,440
at a work station.
122
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,400
- And I assume you know
the diversity guidelines.
123
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,240
If you are disabled your
employer must provide
124
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,480
the reasonable adjustments needed.
125
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,880
- You're not disabled, Angela.
126
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,720
- I've got chronic ibs.
127
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,680
Masticating my food soothes my bowels.
128
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,240
- I don't think ibs
counts as a disability.
129
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,280
- There you are.
130
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,280
You've clearly never
been caught in traffic
131
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:29,720
and forced to improvise
with a tube of pringles.
132
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,040
- Howdy partner.
133
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,520
- Howdy, nice getup.
134
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,440
- Yeah I do a bit of country
and Western singing
135
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,160
in my spare time.
136
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,240
Oh, can I have a biscuit.
137
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,080
Um...
138
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,040
No, sorry.
139
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,640
Right, sir, have you
been looking for work?
140
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,840
- Well you know what they say,
you can lead a horse to water
141
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,600
but you can't make it drink.
142
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,160
- So have you?
143
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:17,960
- No.
144
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,440
- But I have been doing a
whole lot of singing though.
145
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,520
- Well singing doesn't count.
146
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,400
Okay I can get you an interview
147
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:30,520
at the main poundland depot
on Thursday afternoon.
148
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,000
- Ah, no can do I'm afraid kemosabe.
149
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,800
See I've got to be in tipton
at four for a sound check.
150
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,480
It's a big event called
the wild west Midlands.
151
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:39,560
- Well you're going to have to miss it.
152
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:40,600
- I can't do that.
153
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,200
It's my big chance?
154
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,960
I'm supporting Johnny cashback.
155
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,200
He's great.
156
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,000
And if you don't like
him you get a refund.
157
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,360
- Well I can't accept
hobbies as an excuse.
158
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,280
If it's getting in the way
of seeking employment
159
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,320
I have to be tough about it.
160
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,880
- But this is more than a
hobby, this is my dream.
161
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,080
- Okay well this isn't
the x factor mate.
162
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,080
Now let's just get you a
proper career, shall we,
163
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,760
as a pallet driver at poundland.
164
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,640
- Well it looks like we've
got ourselves a standoff
165
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,800
because I ain't going to no poundland.
166
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,600
- Well let me put it this
a-way, if you refuse
167
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,080
I'm stopping your benefits.
168
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,360
- Are you drawing a line in the sand.
169
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,600
- Yeah, I am actually.
170
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,280
I am drawing a line in the sand.
171
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:34,160
- Right, you ain't seen the last of me.
172
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,800
I'll be back tomorrow, high noon.
173
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,640
- Oh, okay well the first
available appointment
174
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:42,240
isn't until 10 past two,
so good luck with that.
175
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,840
Yeah, I hate thin crust.
176
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:48,680
Woo hoo.
177
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000
- Karl, you busy tonight.
178
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000
- Yeah, I'm meant to be seeing Natalie.
179
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,440
- Shame, us boys heading out back
180
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,680
for a few beers in the caravan.
181
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,200
- You know what, actually
I'm up for that.
182
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,440
I could see Natalie any night.
183
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:09,280
- Great.
184
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,120
- Come on.
185
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,960
- Yeah let's make it a
proper lads night, eh?
186
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,280
- Beers, grub.
187
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,160
- Wrestling!
188
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,160
- No wrestling.
189
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,000
- Yeah.
190
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,320
- Let's have a game of poker, huh?
191
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,200
- Yeah.
192
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,080
- Poker, brilliant, yeah.
193
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,640
I've always wanted to give that a go.
194
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,840
- Hang on, you've never played poker?
195
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,760
- No, I'm absolutely useless with cards
196
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,800
but it always looks like
so much fun, you know.
197
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,600
- Alright then, we are
definitely playing.
198
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,360
- Oh this is exciting.
199
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,200
What should I bring.
200
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:36,600
- Just bring yourself ash and
say, what, 80 quid in cash?
201
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,680
- Come on Karl it's his
first time playing.
202
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:42,000
Be easy for him if we
rounded up to 100.
203
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,480
- 100 yeah cool better safe than sorry.
204
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,040
- Great, you guys are the best.
205
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,920
- Right, have you decided
what we're doing tonight?
206
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:53,960
- Yeah you can do what you like,
207
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,280
I'm having a night with the boys.
208
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,280
- Really?
209
00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:00,080
- Yeah we might even
order a deep pan pizza.
210
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,080
In fact, we definitely will.
211
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,400
- Karl it was a staff review.
212
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,400
Get over it.
213
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,440
Oh come on I wanted to go
somewhere and get a curry.
214
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,440
- No I want to hang out
with a recently separated
215
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,160
middle aged man and a shit therapist
216
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,320
in a caravan in a carpark.
217
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,480
- I've got two pair.
218
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,400
- Two pair.
219
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,280
- House.
220
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,280
- It's not bingo.
221
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,480
- Sorry full house.
222
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,160
I guess that means I win again, right.
223
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,520
I am having a great time.
224
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,680
- I don't know how you do it.
225
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,360
- Well on that last hand I
could tell you were bluffing
226
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,560
because your eyes went to the top left
227
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,560
and you touched your face.
228
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,760
And I could tell Karl was
bluffing because he said,
229
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,600
"oh for fuck sake" when
he looked at his cards.
230
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,360
Ah, this game is so much fun.
231
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,520
Back in a sec.
232
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,680
- Un-be-freaking-leavable.
233
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,600
- Paul, can I ask you
something personal.
234
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:58,720
- You having trouble getting
your little soldier
235
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,280
to stand to attention?
236
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,560
Can't help you mate,
never happened to me.
237
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,240
- No, no it's not that.
238
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,720
Do you think I'm tough?
239
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:07,560
- No.
240
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,680
- Yeah but I could be though
if I wanted to be, right?
241
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,280
- No, sorry mate.
242
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,480
It's just one of those things.
243
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,520
You've got small hands.
244
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,360
- Talking about needing a royal flush.
245
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,200
- Wait, you didn't put toilet
paper down the loo did you?
246
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,000
- No.
247
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,400
- Only it's a chemical toilet,
can't take bulk roll.
248
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,240
- I didn't, no.
249
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,840
- You just touched your face.
250
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,960
- And your eyes went up to the left.
251
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,480
- Oh what is that smell?
252
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,560
- Shitty Nora.
253
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:46,960
- What are you up to?
254
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,480
- Cleaning up the
damage done last night
255
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,600
by sir shits a lot here.
256
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,480
- That's the time.
257
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,880
I never thought I'd say this
258
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,360
but thank god I've got
to get to bloxwich.
259
00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,280
- Can we be friends again?
260
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,880
- I suppose so.
261
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,200
It's not your fault that you
got tempted onto the rocks
262
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,880
by that siren.
263
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:05,720
- Whatever you say,
264
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,000
you can give me a hand
mopping out the bog.
265
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,280
- No, Paul.
266
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,720
I've got to get back inside.
267
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,720
Wait, is that swingball?
268
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,600
- Ah, so you're back are you.
269
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,520
- This job center ain't big
enough for the both of us.
270
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,040
- What does that even mean?
271
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,400
- It means I want my benefits
272
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,400
and this is your final warning.
273
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,920
- Well I'm not backing down.
274
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:31,920
If you want your money,
275
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,720
you're going to have
to do things my way.
276
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,960
- I'm telling you that I want my money.
277
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,200
- And I'm telling you,
278
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,560
you're going to have to
go through me to get it.
279
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:45,200
- Well that's big talk for a
man with such small hands.
280
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,680
- Is there a problem here?
281
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:50,440
- Yes, this man here wants
to take my dreams from me.
282
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,240
- Well sir, if your dreams
are getting in the way
283
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,240
of you finding gainful employment,
284
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,480
he's entitled to do that.
285
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,880
- Oh we'll see about that.
286
00:11:58,880 --> 00:11:59,800
- Careful he's got a gun.
287
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,680
- Karl do something!
288
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,120
- Can't move I'm frozen.
289
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,640
- Look I don't want anyone to get hurt.
290
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,040
I've only got one demand which is...
291
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,360
With a rope ladder.
292
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,840
- Have you not seen
someone masticate before.
293
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:18,680
- Right that's it.
294
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,400
Me and the little lady
here are taking a walk.
295
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,480
- Karl, Karl.
296
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,320
- Shh, quiet, no funny stuff.
297
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,080
- Where the hell is security?
298
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,560
- Mr. cowboy?
299
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:35,440
- It's Kevin.
300
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,520
- Kevin the cowboy.
301
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,120
- It's just Kevin.
302
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,080
- Just Kevin the cowboy.
303
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:39,920
- Kevin!
304
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,600
- Please don't kill me.
305
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,160
- Look will you try and calm down.
306
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,760
- Yeah I'm sorry I've
never been stuck up
307
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,360
at gunpoint before.
308
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,360
I was just thinking,
maybe now that they've
309
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,200
evacuated the building
we could go downstairs.
310
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,000
I would be happy to process your claim.
311
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000
- Too late for that.
312
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,320
- Could we go inside at least?
313
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,400
We definitely shouldn't be up here.
314
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,080
This is a health and safety nightmare.
315
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,160
- Well of course it is.
316
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,120
We're up here on a roof
and I've got a gun.
317
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,440
- Please don't shoot me.
318
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,320
Sorry.
319
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,160
I can't help it.
320
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,760
- Will you just sit down and shut up.
321
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:12,600
- Yup.
322
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,520
- Tryin' to think here.
323
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:22,600
- It's him, it's Karl.
324
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,080
- Go ahead, answer it.
325
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,080
- Trish, this is Karl.
326
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,080
Tell him we should swap places.
327
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,760
It's me he's got a
problem with not you.
328
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,560
- Trish this is ash.
329
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,080
I'm back from bloxwich.
330
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,320
Listen carefully.
331
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,880
I have studied a module in criminology.
332
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,640
I'm going to negotiate with this cowboy
333
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,000
and defuse the whole situation okay?
334
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,960
- Now it's our district
work psychologist
335
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,920
and he wants to talk to you.
336
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,080
- Let me talk to him ash.
337
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,200
- Karl, did you get 61%
for an essay you wrote
338
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,160
on the 1980 Iranian embassy siege?
339
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,000
- No.
340
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000
- Well I suggest you leave this to me.
341
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,200
Hello cowboy.
342
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,320
- It's Kevin.
343
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,360
- Now I want you to stay calm.
344
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,400
- I am staying calm.
345
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,240
This is quite a unique
situation isn't it?
346
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,080
- I'm sorry.
347
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:09,520
- I said this predicament
we're in, it's quite unique.
348
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,520
- Well something can't
be quite unique, can it?
349
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,880
- Well this is quite unique.
350
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,520
- No the word unique is an absolute.
351
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,800
It can't be modified, understand.
352
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,200
Something is either unique or it isn't.
353
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,040
Hello?
354
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,440
- How well do you say
that went then, 61%?
355
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,120
- Angela, you can't leave.
356
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,200
- If I can't work I've
no obligation to stay.
357
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,240
- But when the police get here
358
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,080
they'll want to speak
to all the witnesses.
359
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,800
- Then they can contact my lawyer.
360
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,080
Oh and don't expect me
back in for a week.
361
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,400
I've got trauma.
362
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,320
- Don't you want to hang around
to see if Trish is okay?
363
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,720
- If she gets shot I'll
see it on Midlands today.
364
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,360
- I was so rude to her.
365
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,400
If something happened I wouldn't
be able to forgive myself.
366
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,200
- Don't worry janette,
Trish is going to be fine,
367
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,160
right ash?
368
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,000
- I doubt it.
369
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,120
Even if she gets out of this alive
370
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,840
she'll probably be
damaged psychologically.
371
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,920
She might get panic attacks,
Stockholm syndrome...
372
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,280
- fear of going to Ikea?
373
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,320
I get that a lot.
374
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,520
- Is Stockholm syndrome
that one where the hostages
375
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:11,800
fall for their captors?
376
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,520
- It happens all the time,
in very clear stages.
377
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,680
Once the fear of the
situation has passed,
378
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,120
the hostage will confide in the captor,
379
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,600
often getting quite
emotional and upset.
380
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,760
- And then janette
called me a homewrecker,
381
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,360
but I swear nothing happened,
382
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,640
I mean as if I'd do that to someone
383
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,960
after going through a divorce myself.
384
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,560
- It's at this stage that a
simple first connection is made.
385
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,320
- Divorce is tough.
386
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,000
- Have you been divorced too?
387
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,520
- She left me eight years ago.
388
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,320
If she'd stayed there's no way
389
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,760
I'd be on this roof right now.
390
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,480
- I can completely understand.
391
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,440
- From there the hostage
and hostage taker
392
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,640
will form a close bond.
393
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,640
- Getting a bit chilly Willy.
394
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,240
- Unlikely though it sounds,
395
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,400
they form a sort of partnership.
396
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,840
The hostage sees him as
a source of comfort,
397
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,640
safety and inspiration.
398
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,120
She may even adopt characteristics
of the hostage taker,
399
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,360
his mannerisms, even his clothing.
400
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,520
- Thank you kind cowboy.
401
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,720
- If there's one thing they
knew how to do in the old west,
402
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,120
it was how to treat a little lady.
403
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,080
Apart from the
prostitution and all that.
404
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:13,240
- And like that Stockholm
syndrome has kicked in.
405
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,240
- Don't worry partner,
I've got your back.
406
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,120
- Here come the cavalry.
407
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,760
- It's you and me against the world.
408
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,720
- Uh inspector the perp is on the roof.
409
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,600
He's in his 50s, he's a
male Caucasian, cowboy.
410
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,560
- Okay listen up, until
the firearms unit
411
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,600
have properly assessed the
situation, keep your distance.
412
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,880
Under no circumstances should
anyone attempt to contact
413
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,800
the hostage taker directly.
414
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,640
- I was merely pointing
out the definition
415
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,040
of the word unique.
416
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,720
Please do not shoot the hostage.
417
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:08,960
- Incoming.
418
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,080
- It's Trish's shoe.
419
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,800
- It's Trish's handwriting.
420
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,600
They want a megaphone
delivered to the roof
421
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,280
and Karl they want you to do it.
422
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,040
- I'll do it.
423
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,040
- No, Karl.
424
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,720
- Well you were the one
who told me to man up.
425
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,480
- Well I meant work a bit harder
426
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,560
not turn into Bruce fucking Willis.
427
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,440
- Incoming.
428
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,120
It's Trish's other shoe.
429
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,560
- Trish also says
430
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,600
can you bring her shoes
back up when you're...
431
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,520
- Oh yeah.
432
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,320
- There's a microphone hidden
there so we can listen in.
433
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,640
Any information's useful
to the firearms unit
434
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,440
so keep talking, understood?
435
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,280
- Understood.
436
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,840
- Right let's get you switched up.
437
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,280
- Karl, you can't do this.
438
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,200
- Natalie, I've made my decision.
439
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,280
I'm going up there.
440
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,600
- I mean literally,
you won't be able to.
441
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,800
You're scared of heights, right?
442
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,040
- Not really.
443
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,800
- Do you not remember how you
were when we got in that
444
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,320
glass lift at the bull ring?
445
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,880
- Okay maybe I'm a little
bit scared of heights
446
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,760
and maybe I do have small hands.
447
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,840
And yes I did cry at frozen
when the little snowman
448
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,440
nearly melted, but you
know what Natalie,
449
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,240
sometimes a man's got to
do what a man's got to do.
450
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:25,200
- Well at least we know
your microphone's working.
451
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,920
- I'm not armed, I'm not armed.
452
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,600
- Karl, come and join the posse.
453
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,240
- Thanks Trish, who sits on an air vent
454
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,040
about five or six meters ahead of me.
455
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:35,880
- What?
456
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:40,560
- Huh, what, oh nothing he
says taking three steps
457
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,840
away from the roof door.
458
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,000
- Stop talking like that.
459
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,040
- Alright then.
460
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,640
Gunman who is sitting next
to Trish near the air vent
461
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,160
about five or six meters ahead of me.
462
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,000
- Stop.
463
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,440
- Aw come on, there's
no room for ill feeling
464
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,000
in the rooftop gang.
465
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,120
- I brought what you asked for.
466
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,400
What's going on Trish?
467
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,760
- Kevin the cowboy demands an apology.
468
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,760
- Oh I'm really sorry for being rude
469
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,480
about your singing career.
470
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,880
For all I know you
could be really good.
471
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,840
- Well Karl, you're about to find out.
472
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,360
- Am I?
473
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,200
- I'm giving Kevin a
chance to prove to you,
474
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,760
to everybody, that he can sing.
475
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,320
Go ahead cowboy.
476
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,840
Sing your heart out.
477
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,840
This is your big moment.
478
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,360
Karl.
479
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:30,440
- Oh yeah, go on, follow your dreams.
480
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,480
- Oh thanks partners.
481
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:35,360
Right.
482
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,720
♫ I am a poor wayfaring stranger
483
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,920
♫ in this world I walk alone
484
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,360
- Trish, Trish, make a break for it.
485
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,520
- I'm not leaving him, Karl,
listen to that voice.
486
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,600
It's beautiful.
487
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,280
- Trish!
488
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,040
♫ In that bright land to which I go
489
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,960
- Trish! ♫ And I'm going to see
490
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,760
- oh my god that's high ♫ my partners
491
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,640
- that is, oh my god that is high.
492
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:04,840
Oh my, oh no.
493
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,520
- Wait I'm hearing something else.
494
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,720
- Oh no, I'm going to die, that's it.
495
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,960
- It sounds like one of the
hostages is being threatened.
496
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,720
Firearms unit standby for action.
497
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,280
- I'm going to die, oh
no I'm going to die.
498
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,840
♫ Well I'm going home
499
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,760
- oh god he's torturing Trish!
500
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,400
- All units go go go.
501
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,920
- Put the gun down!
502
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,960
Get on the floor!
503
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,800
- I'm not the cowboy, he's the cowboy.
504
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,320
- Right, back off or I'll
shoot the little lady here.
505
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,320
- I thought we were partners.
506
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,120
- Will you just shut up?
507
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,240
- I hate thin crust, I hate thin crust.
508
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,080
Yippee ki-yay cowboy!
509
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:45,600
- Oh no, no!
510
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,400
- Karl!
511
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,960
Oh thank god for that.
512
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,360
Right, that's it.
513
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,680
The milky bars are on me.
514
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,000
- Last time I trusted a cowboy
515
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,680
I got overcharged for my patio.
516
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,600
- Something wrong with
your toilet, mate?
517
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,280
Paper won't flush.
518
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,440
- Shitty Nora.
519
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,520
- Karl that was very brave.
520
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:25,360
- Yeah?
521
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,480
Like princess Elsa brave.
522
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,320
- Princess Elsa brave.
523
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,400
- Oh.
524
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,200
- The center's going to be shut
for the rest of the day, so
525
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,200
are you hanging out with the lads
526
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,560
or are you coming home with me?
527
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,440
- Definitely going with you.
528
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,840
- Good.
529
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,120
'Cause you know what
you're going to get
530
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,160
for being such a brave boy?
531
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,000
- What?
37732
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