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1
00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,789
- It wouldn't be enough to
cover the entire recall,
2
00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:07,940
but we could stop using
the corporate jets
3
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,531
for non-company business.
4
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:10,880
- We do that now?
5
00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:13,665
- Well, some people take
"market research" trips
6
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:14,971
to every Mardi Gras.
7
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,060
- Uh, bullying? Anyone
want to step in here?
8
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,583
- Mm-mm.
9
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,691
- Couldn't we just charge,
like, 50 bucks more a car?
10
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:20,759
No one would notice.
11
00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:21,954
- Yes, people
famously don't haggle
12
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,501
over the prices of their cars.
13
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,502
- None of that is big enough.
14
00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,287
We have been at this for hours,
15
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,332
and all we've decided
is where to order lunch.
16
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,918
- We should have spent
more time on that.
17
00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,074
This sandwich dry as hell.
18
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,485
- Look, I hate to be
the one to say it,
19
00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:34,469
but we all know what
needs to be done.
20
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,906
We have to close a
factory.
21
00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:38,603
I said I hate to
say it, all right?
22
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:39,691
That absolves me.
23
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:40,929
- I really don't
want to do that.
24
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,148
- None of us do, but sometimes
25
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,758
you have to cut off the
hand to save the arm.
26
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,088
- Ah, like zombies.
27
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,326
- Why are factory workers
always the first ones
28
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,525
on the chopping block?
- Mm.
29
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:48,763
- Nothing ever seems
to touch the people
30
00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:50,006
with the cushy office jobs.
31
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,703
- You know what? That
is not a bad point.
32
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,270
I mean, it'd be a
bloodbath up here,
33
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,292
but downsizing executives
would get us a lot more savings
34
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,534
with fewer bodies.
35
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:57,535
- No, I wasn't suggesting
that we actually...
36
00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:58,754
- You know, I hate to say it,
37
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:00,166
but we wouldn't have
to cut production
38
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,800
if we went with Jack's
Red Wedding thing.
39
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,126
- Okay, Red Wedding is not
what I was actually saying.
40
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,388
- We shouldn't fire anyone.
- Exactly.
41
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:05,674
- But if we have to,
42
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,173
we would get less
blowback with Jack's idea.
43
00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:08,392
- And then we could
loosen restrictions
44
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:09,480
on the corporate jet, right?
45
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,027
- What is wrong
with you, Wesley?
46
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,918
These people 'bout to be
homeless and lose their jobs,
47
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,572
and you're worried about
seeing boobs for free?
48
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:17,207
- It's not free. It's
like a barter economy.
49
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:18,445
- Okay, fine. We'll
go with Jack's idea.
50
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:19,749
Let' start with
every department,
51
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:20,863
letting one executive go,
52
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,266
and then we'll
reassess from there.
53
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:25,128
- Oh, God. They have
no idea what's coming.
54
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,410
- Stop staring. You're
making it obvious.
55
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,541
Pretend I said
something inspiring.
56
00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,654
Clap, clap, clap, clap.
- Oh, bravo.
57
00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,265
But wait, wait,
wait, no, no, no, no.
58
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,547
It looks like we decided to
fire them and then applauded.
59
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:34,634
- Just close the blinds;
close the blinds.
60
00:01:34,658 --> 00:01:36,096
- Yes. On it.
Closing the blinds.
61
00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:38,924
- ♪ Bom bom
bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪
62
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,449
♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom
buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪
63
00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:46,715
- I mean, Ros is
a cancer survivor.
64
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,598
If we let go of her,
she'll lose her insurance.
65
00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,283
And Keith just adopted twins.
66
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,155
I mean, that's a bad
time to be out of a job.
67
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,114
- I didn't mean to
get anybody fired.
68
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,419
- Who would you let go of?
69
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,092
I mean, I have narrowed
it down to these four.
70
00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:58,485
- You want me to decide?
- Well, yeah.
71
00:01:58,509 --> 00:01:59,728
You want to be in management?
72
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,730
making hard decisions.
73
00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:03,142
- Well, our first
lesson was actually
74
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,230
how to log into the web portal.
75
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,405
It's, like, needlessly
complicated...
76
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,562
- Right. I need this.
77
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:08,562
- Fine.
78
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,913
If I had to choose, I guess...
79
00:02:10,955 --> 00:02:12,175
Syd.
80
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,631
He has the worst numbers
and the most complaints.
81
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:14,786
- Yeah. Sweet guy, though.
82
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:15,981
I was hoping you
wouldn't pick him.
83
00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:17,137
- Oh, I can pick somebody...
84
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,620
- No, you're right.
It has to be Syd.
85
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,096
I just can't face him.
- Okay.
86
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,576
- Can you do it?
87
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:22,533
- Me?
88
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:23,969
- It'd hurt less
coming from you.
89
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:25,643
These people think of me as
like a cool, younger sister
90
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:28,496
or like an unobtainable crush.
91
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,454
- Do they?
- Mm-hmm.
92
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,021
- Ah, there she is.
93
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,850
Saint Dori saving the world
one mean comment at a time.
94
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,112
- Get away from me, Wesley.
95
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,287
- She's so perfect.
96
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,810
She would never
spend company money
97
00:02:38,853 --> 00:02:39,898
going to a place where
98
00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,639
sexual mores are
temporarily lowered.
99
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:44,773
- Because I don't need to.
- Okay, uh, Miss Pens.
100
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,664
God, for someone who cares
so much about the company,
101
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,231
you're pretty cavalier
with the pen usage.
102
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,822
You got blue, black,
red, another blue.
103
00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:51,910
Must be nice.
104
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:52,954
- What does a pen cost?
105
00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:54,043
Like, what? A dime?
106
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,043
- Yeah, but you multiply that
107
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,654
times, like, 20,000 employees,
108
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,023
who knows how much
that would save?
109
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,222
- $2,000.
110
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,006
- Did you just do
that in your head?
111
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,419
- I mean, I guess we
do use a lot of stuff
112
00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:03,792
that we actually don't need.
113
00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,509
Like, why does everybody
have tape on their desk?
114
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,988
We're not doing arts
and crafts up in here.
115
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,275
Yeah.
116
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,948
I mean, you cut some
pens; you cut some tape.
117
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,757
- That's, like, pure savings.
- Yeah.
118
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,241
- Let's go check
out the supply room.
119
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:17,414
- Ooh, yeah. Uh,
don't worry, guys.
120
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:20,461
This mismatched pair of ragtags
is gonna save your jobs.
121
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,158
And in the process,
122
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,553
we just may find out we have
more in common than we think.
123
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,511
- What does he
mean save our jobs?
124
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:30,035
Anyone know what
he means by that?
125
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,689
- Hey, Katherine.
126
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,841
"Ticker Tape" on CNBC wants to
interview you this afternoon.
127
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:34,953
- Today?
- Mm.
128
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,235
- On the day of
these layoffs? Pass.
129
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,521
I mean, that would be like
130
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,871
taking a victory lap
at a euthanasia party.
131
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:40,872
- Mm.
- Yeah.
132
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,265
Not a perfect metaphor.
133
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,658
But the point is,
terrible timing.
134
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,442
- Right, yeah, but
I was also thinking
135
00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,096
maybe it's perfect timing.
- Hmm?
136
00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:50,142
- It shows that we're taking
hard actions to cut costs,
137
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,797
which Wall Street will
love, but we're doing it by
138
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,409
letting go of executives
instead of blue-collar workers,
139
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,237
which, I mean, Main
Street will love.
140
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,368
- Yeah.
- Oh, right?
141
00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,606
- Interesting. Love
from both streets.
142
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:00,955
I mean, that's all
the streets there are.
143
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,285
- Yeah.
144
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,287
- Katherine Hastings,
savior of the underlings.
145
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,246
- Maybe we could
workshop the phrasing.
146
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,812
- Savior of the peons?
147
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,466
- Uh, just workers.
148
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,947
- Eh, doesn't really
pop. I'll play with it.
149
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,340
- Right.
150
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:14,471
- So the first few pages
151
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:15,951
are just the standard
layoff script,
152
00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:19,259
and the rest is a list of
acceptable legal responses
153
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,540
to anything they may say to you.
154
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,479
- So I'm just supposed
to read this to them?
155
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:23,741
Seems a little heartless.
156
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,066
- Precisely, yeah.
Just get through it
157
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,136
with an emotionless,
surgical precision.
158
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,747
You know, like a child
of an acrimonious divorce
159
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,314
dissecting a backyard squirrel.
160
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,751
- Please, Jack.
There's an art to this.
161
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:36,014
People don't want a robot.
They want to be heard.
162
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:38,147
They want to be seen.
- Just stick to the script.
163
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,322
- Stick to the script,
164
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,846
but breathe some
life into it, hmm?
165
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,239
Connect with your scene partner.
166
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,123
- My scene partner?
- Let's say I'm firing you.
167
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:48,070
I gotta ask myself, "What
do I think makes Jack tick?"
168
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,768
So while my mouth may be
going through the motions
169
00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:53,467
and saying the words,
my mind is thinking,
170
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,599
"Light beer, bouncing breasts,
171
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,645
he probably ain't
cracked a book in ages."
172
00:04:57,688 --> 00:05:00,125
- Little condescending, but...
- It's art, Jack.
173
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,780
It's supposed to make
you feel uncomfortable.
174
00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:05,435
- Yeah, I mean, you have to
admit we do love breasts.
175
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,828
He's not wrong about that.
176
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,311
- Okay, but what do
I do if he, like,
177
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,373
starts freaking out screaming,
"I'm gonna kill myself,"
178
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,592
or, "I'm gonna kill you and
then I'm gonna kill myself."
179
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,401
What do I do if...
- That is in here,
180
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:15,619
because we do get that...
181
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,447
Really quite a lot.
182
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,623
- Uh, oh, we could
lower our water bill
183
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,625
if we put those little
push tabs on the sinks.
184
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,081
You know, the one where
you gotta play whack-a-mole
185
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:24,169
to, like, turn the water on?
186
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,431
- Oh, my God. I
hate those things.
187
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,630
That's perfect.
188
00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,371
- Oh, double-sided printing.
189
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,827
We use half the
paper, not to mention
190
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,853
freeing up filing space
and reducing trash.
191
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,594
- Okay, you're amazing at this.
192
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,248
It's like "Good Will
Hunting" but, you know, like,
193
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:37,772
a reboot with a Black woman,
194
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,358
and I'd probably have to be
gay or British or something.
195
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:40,470
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
196
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,472
- Joe America
shouldn't pay the tab
197
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,387
for corporate
America's mistakes.
198
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,606
Powerful, right?
199
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,347
- Very much so. I
felt it. Tingly.
200
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,478
- Ew. Well, anyway.
201
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:49,871
Hey, is what I'm wearing okay?
202
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:50,828
When I got dressed this morning,
203
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,134
I didn't know I'd be doing TV.
204
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,308
- I think you look perfect,
205
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,417
Especially given
the solemn news,
206
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,312
it's good not to
be too polished.
207
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,661
- What do you mean too polished?
208
00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,117
Do I look unpolished?
- No, I just mean real.
209
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,490
You look real.
210
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,076
- So I don't look like my
normal supermodel self?
211
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,380
It's been a
stressful time lately
212
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,470
in case you haven't noticed.
213
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:05,863
- Honestly? Hey,
you look beautiful.
214
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,081
- Really? 'Cause
ten seconds ago,
215
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,759
you were saying I
looked unpolished,
216
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,215
so you're kinda talking out
both sides of your mouth there.
217
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,677
Oh, yeah. My roots
are really bad. Wow.
218
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,331
Ooh, I could use
some filler, too.
219
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,332
- I'm gonna go.
220
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,855
- Oh, my God.
221
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,596
Hey, Dori. Get
Dr. Kazemi on the phone.
222
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,468
Tell her to bring the full bag!
223
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,600
- Syd, you've been
a valuable employee,
224
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,689
but unfortunately, we have
to let some people go,
225
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:26,884
and I just...
226
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,257
Yes, uh, come in.
227
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,824
- Hey, are you Jack?
- Syd!
228
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:30,825
I mean, I'm Jack.
- Yeah.
229
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:31,782
- You're Syd.
- Yeah.
230
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,131
Well, I certainly hope so.
231
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,805
That's the name that they
wrote in my underwear.
232
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:37,048
You know,
you look like a Jack.
233
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:39,703
Yeah, it's a strong name,
but it's not showing off.
234
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,097
I mean, you're just Jack.
- Yeah, thanks.
235
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,881
So the reason I
asked you in today
236
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,076
is that we need to talk about...
237
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,319
- Actually, Jack's
my grandson's name.
238
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,539
- That's, uh, that's cool.
- You remind me of him.
239
00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:52,890
He's a good kid.
That's two good kids.
240
00:06:52,933 --> 00:06:54,414
So what can I do for you, Jack?
241
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,156
- Syd.
- Yeah.
242
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,767
- You've been a valuable...
- Oh!
243
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,464
What size mitt do you wear?
244
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,900
- My mitt size?
245
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,381
- I've got an extra glove.
I think it might fit you.
246
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,165
- Adult?
- Yeah, that'll work.
247
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:09,950
- Yeah.
248
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,608
- "Please know that
Payne greatly values
249
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,107
"your years of service
and is therefore committed
250
00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:18,350
to helping you find your
next employment opportunity."
251
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,875
- Oh, my God. Oh, God. I...
252
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,398
"Payne...
253
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,463
Payne will be offering a
generous severance package"...
254
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,754
- "Payne greatly
values your years..."
255
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,713
I'm sorry, Deb.
256
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:37,935
"Your years of service and is
committed to helping you..."
257
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:41,417
- Shh, it's okay.
You're doing great.
258
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,028
- "Unfortunately, we have to
let some people go, and..."
259
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,639
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Who's that gonna be?
260
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:48,990
- Uh, just, uh, let
me keep reading.
261
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,228
"We have to let
some people go"...
262
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,906
- On second thought,
I don't wanna know.
263
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,100
These people are like family.
264
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,232
- There's a second
half of that sentence
265
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,997
I really need to get to, Syd.
266
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,477
"Please..."
267
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,932
- "Please take all personal
belongings with you..."
268
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:01,785
- "By the end of the day,
269
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,571
as your card access
will be turned off."
270
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,748
- "Please take all
your personal..."
271
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:08,923
No!
272
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,490
I can't. I can't.
273
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:11,926
- Here. I'll help.
Let me do it.
274
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,582
- Uh, "Take all personal
belongings with you
275
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:18,541
as your card access
will be turned off."
276
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,369
That sounds reasonable.
That's fine.
277
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,240
Turn the page.
278
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,764
- Wait! I'm fired?
279
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,113
You're firing me?
280
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,071
- Uh, "If you signed a
separation agreement,
281
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:29,204
I can give you a
severance of X dollars."
282
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,790
I think I'm supposed
to fill out the X...
283
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:33,251
- I could do better, Jack.
Jack, give me another chance.
284
00:08:33,294 --> 00:08:35,123
- "Syd, I'm sorry,
but the decision
285
00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:36,317
to end your
employment is final."
286
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,692
- Oh! How is this happening?
287
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,171
And what sort of God
288
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,173
would allow something
like this to happen?
289
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,610
- "If they invoke God,
290
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,653
maintain a neutral disposition,
and do not engage."
291
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:49,224
- I don't think you're
supposed to read that.
292
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:54,185
- "Once again, thank you
for your time and service."
293
00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:55,883
Howard? Are you all right?
294
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,058
- I'm fine.
295
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,583
- "Excellent.
296
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:04,065
I'm so happy we've come to
a satisfactory conclusion."
297
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,634
Howard, are you
sure you're fine?
298
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,636
- I'm fine.
299
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,551
- "Excellent.
300
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,659
I'm so happy we've come to
a satisfactory conclusion."
301
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:16,164
Shall I... I tell you what,
302
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,165
why don't I give
you a helping hand,
303
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,210
set you on the way?
304
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,343
You know, a journey
of a thousand miles
305
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,475
starts with a single
step, doesn't it?
306
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:28,306
So I'm just gonna pop
you there, and, um...
307
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:31,135
check you on the flipside.
308
00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:32,441
- What did I do wrong?
309
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,138
Did someone complain
about my performance?
310
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:35,923
- "Syd, we won't be
discussing any specifics
311
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,074
about your performance."
- Okay.
312
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,752
But to my face they
say, "Great job, Syd.
313
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,536
You're part of the
team, Syd." So now what?
314
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,843
All of a sudden, behind my
back, they want me gone?
315
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,647
- "Syd, this meeting isn't
about other employees."
316
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,411
- Stop reading from this binder.
317
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:49,850
I'm a real person.
Would you talk to me?
318
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,984
Truth is, we have to cut
costs to pay for the recall.
319
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,986
That's all this is.
- But why me?
320
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,553
Did I do my job wrong?
321
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,381
Is that what this is in my file?
322
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,383
- Of course not.
Of course not.
323
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:04,212
The file says you are great.
324
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:06,606
They just want, like, new blood.
325
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:09,086
- New blood?
- Yeah, yeah.
326
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,045
Syd, it's nothing personal.
327
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,961
- Oh, okay. So this
is an age thing.
328
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,310
- What?
329
00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:16,679
- No, you need to bring
in the young guns.
330
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,332
- I didn't mean to suggest
anything like that.
331
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,769
- I may be old, but I know the
word "ageism" when I hear it.
332
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:20,707
- Syd, let's just take a beat.
- Let's just work...
333
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:21,858
- You don't remind
me of my grandson,
334
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,884
you remind me of
my other grandson,
335
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:26,321
the pot smoker.
336
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,673
- So how rough have
the layoffs been?
337
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,588
- Um, you know, we're
getting through it.
338
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,504
It's just obviously
uncomfortable.
339
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,679
- Mm-hmm.
340
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,594
- Should I come back later?
- No. Why?
341
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,596
- Just a bit squeamish
about needles in faces.
342
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,356
- Oh, well, you're gonna
have to get used to that.
343
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,165
I mean, you're a female
executive, right?
344
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,795
Gotta stay ahead of
the saggy-faced curve.
345
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,298
- Mm.
346
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,362
- Actually, you could use a
little touch-up right now.
347
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:49,450
You want the rest
of this needle?
348
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:50,713
- You can't share needles.
- What?
349
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:51,888
It's fine. I'm her boss.
- I think I'm good.
350
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,435
But thanks.
- Easier if you start now.
351
00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:55,437
Actually, maybe five years ago.
- Mm-hmm.
352
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,221
You're the head of a
Fortune 500 company.
353
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,658
Haven't you, like,
354
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,747
earned the right to not
have to worry about vanity?
355
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,532
It's not
vanity; it's business.
356
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,012
I mean,
357
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,729
people want their female
CEOs to be young and vibrant.
358
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,233
Do you think anyone
wants to know that
359
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:09,296
when I kicked through
the glass ceiling,
360
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,887
I peed my granny
briefs a little?
361
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,759
- Mm, no. Is that a thing?
362
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,586
- Oh, yeah. When you
hit perimenopause,
363
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,676
you'll be playing tennis
in a maxi pad, too.
364
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,416
- Well, I don't play tennis.
- You should.
365
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,567
Your upper arms are
starting to drift a little.
366
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,680
It's really good for that.
367
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,377
- And stop moving your lips.
- Mm-hmm.
368
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,484
I mean, this
is what you have to do
369
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,032
to be taken seriously.
370
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,424
- Mm.
371
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,644
- Hey, everyone!
We got great news.
372
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,386
Dori is passing out some
super-cozy blankets.
373
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:32,779
Those are gratis.
374
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:35,085
Plus, I also think she
has some bonus great news.
375
00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:36,565
- I sure do, Wesley.
376
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,499
The heat will be turned
off between 10:00 and 4:00,
377
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:39,829
effective immediately.
378
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,788
- And that's prudent.
It's super-prudent.
379
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:44,921
- Um, I can't work in the cold.
I have a medical condition.
380
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,663
- You have a what?
- An iron deficiency.
381
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,535
- So let me guess.
- You half woman, half lizard?
382
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:52,320
- No, no, it's cool. It's cool.
383
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:53,645
We want everyone
to be comfortable,
384
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:54,820
so look, hey, look. It's fine.
385
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,454
Phoebe doesn't want
to use a blanket.
386
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:57,673
- Okay.
- Great.
387
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,109
- Unfortunately, that does mean
388
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,763
that Max is gonna lose his job
389
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,505
and his kids are
gonna starve to death.
390
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:05,202
- Yeah, Max's children gon' die.
391
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:06,900
- Okay, I'll take a blanket.
392
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,205
- There you go, Pheebs!
393
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,089
- Okay, Max. Your kids
live to see another day.
394
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,383
- I'm take this. You don't
need to be taping nothing.
395
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,168
Your papers just be everywhere.
396
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:18,912
- Hey. How'd everything go?
397
00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:20,304
- Oh, fantastic. Yeah.
398
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,741
I mean, I do have
399
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,719
a catatonic man in a rolling
chair outside my office,
400
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,354
but other than that,
everything's brilliant.
401
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,617
- Okay. How did Syd take it?
402
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,663
- Not well. Kept asking why
he was the one being let go.
403
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,076
- He's the worst performer
in his department.
404
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,425
- Yeah, but I didn't want
to tell him that, though.
405
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,712
He thinks it's because
he getting old.
406
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,019
He can't sue me for,
like, ageism, can he?
407
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,368
- Uh, no. Of course not.
408
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,954
I mean theoretically, he
could sue the company,
409
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,329
but he'd need to prove a
pattern of age discrimination.
410
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:46,722
He's just one guy, so...
411
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,811
- I think Deborah's
in her 60s, actually.
412
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,335
- All right, well, you
know, two people, then.
413
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:56,558
Although Howard is
getting up there a bit.
414
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:57,709
- Well, that's
just three people.
415
00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:00,083
I'm sure other
departments didn't...
416
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,345
- Letting you go too?
417
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:02,477
Ugh.
418
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,785
- Looks like the end
of "Cocoon," right?
419
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:06,873
- Mm.
420
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,528
- Gerald Balmer,
421
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:11,965
Arthur Stevens, Mort Callaway?
422
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,140
Jesus, this thing reads like
423
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,229
the team roster at a
canasta tournament.
424
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,859
- Well, yeah, I mean, if
you read them out in a list,
425
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,164
then yeah, it
doesn't sound great.
426
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,581
- Well, how should I read it?
427
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,713
- Well, I guess my legal
advice would be we don't.
428
00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,063
- Can't we just wait this out?
429
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,386
- Like until the old people die?
430
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,737
- No, no, no. That's
not what I meant.
431
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:26,956
- Guys, we can't sit
back on this one.
432
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,111
I have dealt with
433
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,349
age discrimination
lawsuits at York.
434
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,158
They are ugly, and
they are expensive.
435
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,352
- Yeah, it's not like
the people they protect.
436
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,857
They move pretty
fast.
437
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,554
It's not the time
for humor, is it?
438
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,271
- Yeah, but this wasn't
on purpose, though.
439
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:39,296
It was a mistake.
440
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,491
- Oh, that's a good point, Jack.
441
00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:41,951
Yeah, great.
442
00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:43,450
Hey guys, let's double down
on the oopsies defense.
443
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,694
- I actually got excited
when you said "good point."
444
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,217
- This is all ridiculous.
445
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:50,525
Syd is a marketing VP who
never learned social media.
446
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:51,874
I mean, you would not
447
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,112
go to a doctor who's 20
years behind the times.
448
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:55,399
- Right. Can it really
be discrimination
449
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:56,748
if it affects your job?
450
00:13:56,792 --> 00:14:00,143
Are we gonna let an
80-year-old, um...
451
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:01,405
- I don't know.
Can't help you.
452
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:03,407
- Uh, run a band saw?
- Mm.
453
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,495
- That'd be insane.
454
00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:05,690
There should be
lawsuits about that.
455
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:06,889
- Yeah, I don't see
456
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,432
a lot of heavy machinery
around the office.
457
00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:10,893
- What about a hand model
who loses both of his hands?
458
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,590
- Again, how does
that apply to us?
459
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:15,028
- Yeah, also all models are
freelance these days, Jack,
460
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,266
so that doesn't
work on two counts.
461
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,857
- Age had nothing
to do with this.
462
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,641
It just so happens
that bad employees
463
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:22,296
and old employees share a
lot of the same qualities,
464
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,428
and that sounds really
bad, so circle back to me.
465
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:26,276
- Look, we didn't fire anyone
because of their age, right?
466
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,581
We fired them
because they're bad.
467
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,172
- Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
468
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,107
- You know, and some of them
are bad because of their age.
469
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,654
- Guys, I don't want excuses.
470
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,153
I want to squash this thing
before it gets out of hand,
471
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,832
so someone talk Syd down
off the ledge, okay?
472
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,236
Straighten him out,
sweet talk him,
473
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:39,443
give him a stick and let him
474
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,184
push a big hula hoop
out the front door.
475
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,882
I don't care. Just end it.
476
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,100
- Mm-hmm.
477
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,930
- Oh, hey. What are you doing?
478
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,932
Did you just throw
out that tea bag?
479
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,455
How many times have you used it?
480
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:52,848
- Uh, one.
- One?
481
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,110
That's up.
482
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,851
Hey, hey! Everybody,
listen up!
483
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,505
Tea bags cost money!
484
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,420
You should be getting
three to six uses
485
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:00,900
per bag minimum.
486
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,205
- Yeah, after a few uses,
487
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,381
I put some of the leaves
right under my tongue.
488
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,253
- Ooh!
- Nature's tea bag!
489
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:07,384
Right here!
490
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,951
- This is an
industrious man, okay?
491
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,213
Unlike you freaks.
492
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:13,869
- And just remember,
wastefulness is weak tea.
493
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:14,957
Mm!
494
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,741
- That's been in the trash.
495
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:17,893
- Did you just
come up with that?
496
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,440
- It popped in my
head fully formed.
497
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,678
- Oh, my God. The hairs on
my neck just, like, stood up.
498
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,486
- You serious?
- I was like, "Damn, Wesley!"
499
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,793
- Syd, I'm so sorry
to let you go.
500
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:25,901
I just wanted to let you know
501
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:26,945
it has nothing to
do with your age.
502
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,275
- Oh, really?
503
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,277
- Each department had
to lose one employee,
504
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,887
and you had the worst numbers.
505
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:32,995
- Well, that's not
what Jack said.
506
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,543
He said my file looks great
507
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:39,547
and that you wanted me fired
because you wanted "new blood."
508
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,722
- Mm. You said that?
509
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,917
- You could have
mentioned that before.
510
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,483
- I was trying not
to hurt his feelings.
511
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:44,247
- Look, Syd. I think what's
happened here is that Jack,
512
00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:45,988
he's a nice guy, you know?
513
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,772
Not one of those
self-proclaimed nice guys
514
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:49,122
that "harass women" online.
515
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,037
No, I mean, he's a
genuine nice guy.
516
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,188
You know, he can probably
get any woman he wants
517
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,450
without resorting
to bullying tactics.
518
00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:55,432
Right, Jack?
- Is that a question?
519
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,781
- Syd, the truth is,
520
00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:58,455
you're the worst performer
in your department.
521
00:15:58,479 --> 00:15:59,891
You want to read your
performance reviews?
522
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:02,048
- I don't have my readers.
- Fine. I'll read them.
523
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:04,137
"Work is sloppy and
filled with errors.
524
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,095
"Shows no initiative.
525
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:08,315
"Brags about using
sick days to play golf.
526
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:11,144
Can't remember the names of
any of the women on the floor."
527
00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:12,536
- They all have the same hair.
528
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:13,842
- Mm-mm.
529
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:14,993
- And besides, if I was so bad,
530
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,584
why didn't you fire me yourself?
531
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,978
- 'Cause I don't want to be
mean to and old... to a person.
532
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,327
- I don't buy it.
533
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,565
You could've written
all that down just now.
534
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:22,720
And my attorney said
535
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,374
I shouldn't be speaking
with you anyway.
536
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,028
- Attorney? So you've
hired an attorney?
537
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,770
- Oh, yeah. Real shark.
538
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,293
Representing all of us.
539
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:33,165
Class
action lawsuit.
540
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:34,732
Elliot, I'll see you in court.
541
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,212
Jack, go suck an egg.
542
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:39,737
Brenda, I never
respected you anyway.
543
00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:40,912
- Oh.
544
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,740
- That's you.
- That's me.
545
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:49,965
- Hey, isn't this good?
How's this for non-polished?
546
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,619
- Yeah, it's nice. Um...
547
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,664
- Man, you really
have to stop frowning.
548
00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:54,665
These lines are gonna set.
549
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,319
- We have a little problem.
550
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:59,235
Syd and the other old
people have lawyered up.
551
00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:00,671
- What? Oh, my God.
552
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,084
I've got enough to think
about with this interview.
553
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,109
Wait, they're not gonna
ask about this, are they?
554
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,372
- They might.
555
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:07,026
- No, no, no. This
is not happening.
556
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,132
The whole point of this
thing was to show that
557
00:17:08,156 --> 00:17:09,550
we're on the side
of the underdogs.
558
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:10,855
What am I gonna say when
559
00:17:10,898 --> 00:17:12,814
they ask me why I decided
to go fire grandpa?
560
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:16,122
- Well, I was thinking you
could maybe remind them that
561
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,950
you know, you're a
woman of a certain age.
562
00:17:18,993 --> 00:17:20,517
- What?
563
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,452
I just spent the entire day
making myself look younger,
564
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,347
and now you want
my defense to be
565
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,782
that I eat prunes every morning?
566
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:28,395
Besides which, honestly,
I look like I'm 35 anyway.
567
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,701
- Y-you don't.
- 37. Fine, whatever.
568
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,007
- Okay.
- Ah, damn it.
569
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,332
We're gonna have to
rethink this whole thing.
570
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:34,855
- I think it's more
of an attitude thing.
571
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:37,447
- Hey, Dori! Get the rest
of the style team back!
572
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:39,797
Sadie needs me to eat
turds on live television.
573
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:46,108
- Here to talk about
Payne's plan to bounce back
574
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,346
from the recall, CEO
Katherine Hastings.
575
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:48,565
Katherine, thank
you for being here.
576
00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:50,029
- Well, it's great
to be here, Colin.
577
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,375
- She is really leaning into
the "I am old" thing hard.
578
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,397
- Looks like she smashed all
the "Golden Girls" characters
579
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,075
into one person.
580
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,121
- You don't have a case, Martin.
581
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,664
- Every one of the people
you fired is over 40.
582
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,448
You think a jury will
think that's a coincidence?
583
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,692
- We are downsizing
senior staff.
584
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,061
Is it any surprise
that some of the people
585
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,565
we're letting go
happen to be seniors?
586
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,131
- It's textbook ageism.
587
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,848
I'd get ready to open the
coffers if I were you.
588
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:13,179
- No, the coffers will remain
firmly shut, thank you,
589
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:15,485
because you need to prove a
pattern of discrimination,
590
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:18,053
and one unlucky day
doth not a pattern make.
591
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,316
- So if I look at everybody
you fired in the past,
592
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,275
I wouldn't find a
disproportionate number
593
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,842
of them that were over 40?
594
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,366
off, Martin.
595
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:29,847
Oh, move, Howard.
596
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:32,285
You need to get
on with your life!
597
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:33,808
- No, we can't do the layoffs.
598
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:36,027
We can't do the layoffs.
- What?
599
00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:38,943
- If you don't rehire all
these wrinkled, old fart bags,
600
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,989
we're gonna get buried
in a slew of lawsuits
601
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,271
that are gonna cost us way
more than we ever would've made
602
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:43,861
by laying them off
in the first place.
603
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,665
Well, where are
we gonna find the savings?
604
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,145
- We could fire all the
young people instead.
605
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,668
- Damn, you're just dying
to axe people today,
606
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:49,824
aren't you, Jack?
607
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:50,975
- He's got a taste
for blood now.
608
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:51,869
- No, no, that's not
what I'm trying...
609
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:53,088
- Wait, fire young people?
610
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,239
That's just reverse
discrimination.
611
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:55,525
- And then we'll be stuck
612
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:56,850
with just the old people,
and let's be honest,
613
00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:58,267
they absolutely suck.
614
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,879
- Not you. We value you.
- Yeah.
615
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,335
- Has she started talking
about the layoffs yet?
616
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,882
- Have you decided
617
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,382
where you'll find the
money to pay for all this?
618
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,843
- Well, at first, we
discussed closing a factory,
619
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,714
but I said, "Absolutely not."
620
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:12,151
- Ah, damn it.
621
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,911
- Our factories are the
heart of our company.
622
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:17,156
Isn't it time for those of
us in the executive ranks
623
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,592
to take the hit?
624
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,550
- So you'll be letting
go of some executives?
625
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,465
- Uh, you know,
that is the question
626
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,381
that we asked ourselves, Colin.
627
00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:28,645
Uh, and the answer, Colin,
it may surprise you.
628
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:31,300
The answer is...
629
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,736
no.
630
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:36,218
No, we are not gonna let
go of our executives.
631
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,283
- So where are you going to
be finding the savings, then?
632
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,353
- Such a good question, Colin.
633
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:41,963
You know,
634
00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:43,680
and that's the same question
that we asked ourselves.
635
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:45,184
What are we gonna do?
636
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,230
We knew that we needed
an a answer right away
637
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:53,540
uh, otherwise, there would
be enormous consequences.
638
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:55,368
Close factory
639
00:19:55,411 --> 00:20:00,329
is unfortunately what we
realized we had to do, so...
640
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:02,026
- But you just said Joe America
641
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,985
shouldn't pay for corporate
America's mistakes
642
00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:06,422
and that the factory was...
And I'm quoting here...
643
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,119
"the heart of the company."
644
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,470
- Yes, but we have
many factories,
645
00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:13,429
so in a way, we have
multiple hearts.
646
00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:14,909
Like a cow.
647
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,954
- You're referring to how
a cow has four stomachs?
648
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,000
- No.
- Let me be clear.
649
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:22,656
We have 20 cows, each
with a heart in them
650
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,876
but still, we are
going to have to, uh,
651
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,227
turn one of our cows into chuck.
652
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,141
- Well, sure to be
an unpopular move,
653
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:33,057
but you have to respect a woman
willing to stand behind it.
654
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:34,668
- Oh, well, thank
you so much, Colin.
655
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,820
Oh, and I just want to say I
know I look a little haggard.
656
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,324
I was out very, very
late last night.
657
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:41,457
Some of my friends took me
out for my 44th birthday.
658
00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:44,243
- Plus what we'll save on heat
659
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:45,853
minus the blankets
we had to buy,
660
00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:47,550
plus what we saved
on office supplies...
661
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,553
- They didn't think this ragtag
team of misfits could do it.
662
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,835
Well, how do you
like them apples?
663
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:54,514
We saved a total of $14.
- Huh.
664
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:55,863
Not what I was expecting,
665
00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,623
but you gotta spend money
to save money, right?
666
00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:58,996
- Mm-hmm. That sounds right.
667
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,060
- Hey, we should
keep this going.
668
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,825
Uh, the savings committee.
669
00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:03,784
We meet once a week,
we order in sushi,
670
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:05,742
and we brainstorm
ways we can cut costs.
671
00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:07,962
- Mm, sushi sounds
good right about now.
672
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:09,703
- I know. You wanna
go get something?
673
00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:11,966
I mean unless you're
busy. No pressure.
674
00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:14,055
- Mm-mm. That sounds fun.
- Awesome!
675
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:15,511
- Have you heard of
this place on Woodward?
676
00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:17,493
I heard it's really good,
but it's, like, pricey.
677
00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:18,973
- Ah, we'll expense it.
678
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:19,800
We just need to make sure
we talk about business for,
679
00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:21,105
like, five seconds.
680
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:22,518
- Okay, so like business,
business, business,
681
00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:23,456
business, shrimp tempura.
- Yep.
682
00:21:23,499 --> 00:21:24,674
- Yeah.
- That's it.
51413
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