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1
00:00:00,609 --> 00:00:01,882
- Um, did you guys see this?
2
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:03,706
"Kevin Costner has announced
that he will no longer
3
00:00:03,730 --> 00:00:05,295
"be spokesperson
for the Payne Turro
4
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,076
"or associated with
the Payne brand
5
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,032
due to the company's
recent scandals."
6
00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:12,029
- Why does every celebrity
have to take a big moral stance
7
00:00:12,073 --> 00:00:13,725
on every issue these days?
8
00:00:13,768 --> 00:00:15,332
I mean, not everything
is personal.
9
00:00:15,376 --> 00:00:17,505
- Well, in this case, it
is kind of personal to him.
10
00:00:17,549 --> 00:00:19,678
- He has a ranch where
the fires broke out,
11
00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:22,155
or I guess he hada ranch
where the fires broke out.
12
00:00:22,199 --> 00:00:23,719
- This is not
making us look good.
13
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:26,239
"Costner Leaves
Payne in the Ashes."
14
00:00:26,283 --> 00:00:28,258
But he's also about to star
in a Broadway adaptation
15
00:00:28,282 --> 00:00:29,195
of "The Cutting Edge."
16
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,672
I wanna see that.
17
00:00:30,716 --> 00:00:33,062
- If it helps, I do an
amazing Costner impression.
18
00:00:33,106 --> 00:00:34,669
You can just swap me in.
19
00:00:34,713 --> 00:00:37,928
Welcome
to the Field of Dreams.
20
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:39,059
- That's "Jurassic Park."
21
00:00:39,103 --> 00:00:40,666
- Uh, no, it's
"Field of Dreams."
22
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:42,101
I literally just said the title.
23
00:00:42,144 --> 00:00:43,685
- Well, we're just
gonna get someone else,
24
00:00:43,708 --> 00:00:46,489
someone better
than Kevin Costner.
25
00:00:46,533 --> 00:00:49,053
Or you know, just
another someone else.
26
00:00:49,097 --> 00:00:51,183
- Wait, no, it's like, uh...
27
00:00:51,226 --> 00:00:52,877
"Ah, looks like
28
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,659
you're on the Waterworld."
29
00:00:54,703 --> 00:00:56,007
Mm.
30
00:00:56,049 --> 00:00:57,014
- That was Connery.
31
00:00:57,039 --> 00:00:59,068
- Yeah, no, I... I heard it
when I... when I said it.
32
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,526
- Yep.
33
00:01:00,568 --> 00:01:02,567
- ♪ Bom bom
bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪
34
00:01:02,611 --> 00:01:05,045
♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom
buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪
35
00:01:08,043 --> 00:01:08,927
- Yep, I agree.
36
00:01:08,952 --> 00:01:11,433
He is likable,
approachable, and handsome,
37
00:01:11,476 --> 00:01:13,692
but Tony the Tiger is a cartoon
38
00:01:13,735 --> 00:01:15,212
and the spokesman
for Frosted Flakes.
39
00:01:15,257 --> 00:01:17,038
- I'm not saying he
should be our spokesman.
40
00:01:17,082 --> 00:01:18,776
I'm just saying he's
a good template.
41
00:01:18,819 --> 00:01:21,123
- Wow, it looks like
we have a lot of ideas.
42
00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:22,880
- Yeah, kinda. I mean,
these are celebrities
43
00:01:22,904 --> 00:01:24,271
that we could probably
get, but we don't want.
44
00:01:24,295 --> 00:01:26,859
- AdamRayOkay, Horchata Soto.
45
00:01:26,902 --> 00:01:28,076
Are those real people?
46
00:01:28,119 --> 00:01:29,486
- They're the biggest
accounts on TikTok.
47
00:01:29,510 --> 00:01:30,702
- Seriously?
- Yeah, I don't know.
48
00:01:30,726 --> 00:01:31,811
The world's a mess.
49
00:01:31,856 --> 00:01:33,160
And then these are celebrities
50
00:01:33,203 --> 00:01:35,072
that we want, but
we could never get.
51
00:01:35,115 --> 00:01:36,743
- Uh-huh, and what about
celebrities that we want
52
00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:38,808
and can get?
- They're on that list.
53
00:01:38,852 --> 00:01:40,070
- Ah.
- Yes.
54
00:01:40,112 --> 00:01:41,982
- Not many A-listers
wanting to be associated
55
00:01:42,024 --> 00:01:43,198
with the brand right now.
56
00:01:43,242 --> 00:01:44,651
- Ooh, what about the
guy who played Snape?
57
00:01:44,675 --> 00:01:45,805
He has a great voice.
58
00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:47,761
- Alan Rickman? He
died six years ago.
59
00:01:47,804 --> 00:01:49,238
- Snape is dead?
- Yeah.
60
00:01:49,281 --> 00:01:50,498
- It's a damn shame.
61
00:01:50,541 --> 00:01:52,018
I'ma start another
list. "Gone"...
62
00:01:52,063 --> 00:01:53,800
- No more lists.
- "Too Soon."
63
00:01:53,844 --> 00:01:55,061
- Oh, uh, James Gandolfini.
64
00:01:55,104 --> 00:01:56,451
Uh, Ray Liotta.
65
00:01:56,495 --> 00:01:58,103
- Uh, Kobe Bryant.
Betty White.
66
00:01:58,147 --> 00:02:00,102
- Would we say Betty
White was gone too soon?
67
00:02:00,146 --> 00:02:01,101
- Oh, that's...
- Excuse me?
68
00:02:01,145 --> 00:02:02,163
- Have some respect, Cyrus.
69
00:02:02,187 --> 00:02:03,447
- She was 99.
70
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,012
How is that
controversial to say?
71
00:02:05,056 --> 00:02:08,184
- Oh, my God, I've got it.
Okay, what about Gerry Spier?
72
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:10,791
Hmm? Come on. Three-time
BAFTA nominee.
73
00:02:10,835 --> 00:02:12,269
Lead of "Chasing the Alderman."
74
00:02:12,313 --> 00:02:13,616
Really? You guys haven't heard
75
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:15,113
of "Chasing the Alderman"?
Where have you been?
76
00:02:15,137 --> 00:02:16,701
- In America.
- Oh!
77
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,657
I played in a celebrity
golf tournament once
78
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:19,656
with Andy Richter.
79
00:02:19,699 --> 00:02:21,003
He was awesome.
80
00:02:21,047 --> 00:02:22,761
We were just knocking 'em
back and going insane.
81
00:02:22,785 --> 00:02:23,959
Well, I was.
82
00:02:24,002 --> 00:02:25,325
He was waiting for
me to play through,
83
00:02:25,349 --> 00:02:27,869
but he said if I
never needed help,
84
00:02:27,913 --> 00:02:29,304
I shouldn't be afraid to ask.
85
00:02:29,345 --> 00:02:30,582
- You sure he wasn't
talking about rehab?
86
00:02:30,606 --> 00:02:32,605
- I don't hate that
idea, actually.
87
00:02:32,649 --> 00:02:34,213
Andy Richter's kind
of an everyman.
88
00:02:34,257 --> 00:02:35,517
- Do you like him?
89
00:02:35,561 --> 00:02:37,231
- I mean, I trust your
opinion on this stuff.
90
00:02:37,255 --> 00:02:38,646
What do you think?
- Me?
91
00:02:38,689 --> 00:02:41,861
Oh, well, yeah, he is
likeable and recognizable,
92
00:02:41,905 --> 00:02:43,383
and he seems trustworthy.
93
00:02:43,426 --> 00:02:45,598
- Okay. Richter's the victor!
94
00:02:45,642 --> 00:02:47,510
- Uh, Jeremy Tugendhat?
95
00:02:47,554 --> 00:02:49,528
Yeah, he plays the posh lord
lieutenant to the shire.
96
00:02:49,552 --> 00:02:50,683
Anyone?
97
00:02:50,726 --> 00:02:52,681
- No one knows what
you're saying, baby.
98
00:02:52,725 --> 00:02:54,942
- No. Thank you.
- It's a great program.
99
00:02:54,985 --> 00:02:56,004
- I... I really appreciate
the opportunity.
100
00:02:56,028 --> 00:02:57,201
- We're all set.
- Yeah, yeah.
101
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:57,983
Looking forward to it.
- See you then.
102
00:02:58,027 --> 00:02:59,635
Bye.
103
00:02:59,678 --> 00:03:01,416
- Good news?
- Yeah, they wanna meet me
104
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:02,783
for the management
training program.
105
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,675
- Oh, I applied to that too.
106
00:03:04,719 --> 00:03:06,413
- Oh. Yeah, well, I'm sure
107
00:03:06,457 --> 00:03:07,735
you'll get a call
any second now.
108
00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:11,541
Any second now.
109
00:03:11,584 --> 00:03:13,540
- Guess who just jumped
on the Sade-train.
110
00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:14,974
- Hmm?
- I was trying something.
111
00:03:15,018 --> 00:03:16,104
Didn't work.
112
00:03:16,147 --> 00:03:17,930
Katherine asked for my advice.
113
00:03:17,972 --> 00:03:19,971
I gave it to her,
and she took it.
114
00:03:20,015 --> 00:03:21,145
- Mm.
- Could you not?
115
00:03:21,188 --> 00:03:23,447
I'm waiting for a
very important call.
116
00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:25,577
- Oh, sorry.
- And I just got asked
117
00:03:25,621 --> 00:03:27,706
to interview for the
management training program.
118
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,053
- Oh!
- Yeah.
119
00:03:29,097 --> 00:03:30,748
- That's... that's great too.
120
00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:33,225
- It's not that big a deal.
I've heard it's not that good.
121
00:03:33,269 --> 00:03:34,616
- Well, I hope you get in.
122
00:03:34,659 --> 00:03:36,788
I mean, we'll miss
having you around.
123
00:03:36,831 --> 00:03:38,111
- Oh, no, I wouldn't
have to leave.
124
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,415
They switched it to
being remote this year.
125
00:03:39,439 --> 00:03:41,351
- Oh, then I do hope you get it.
126
00:03:41,394 --> 00:03:42,544
Yeah, so you'll have to
127
00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:43,934
figure out another
way to get rid of me.
128
00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:44,914
- Well, there's,
like, blackmail,
129
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,957
excessive force...
130
00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:47,391
- Framing me for murder?
131
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,019
- The options, honestly,
they're endless.
132
00:03:49,042 --> 00:03:50,737
- Shh!
133
00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:52,519
- You'll hear it.
134
00:03:52,562 --> 00:03:54,518
Okay. Wait. Here we go.
135
00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:58,211
Boom, Gerry Spier
lays the smack down.
136
00:03:58,255 --> 00:04:00,558
- He just handed the other
old dude a stack of papers.
137
00:04:00,602 --> 00:04:02,229
- Yeah, right, yeah,
but wait until you see
138
00:04:02,253 --> 00:04:03,556
what's in those papers.
139
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,946
- Okay, you've seen
other television, right?
140
00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:07,337
Where things happen?
141
00:04:07,379 --> 00:04:09,379
- Oh, ha-ha.
142
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,987
Okay, I'm sorry this isn't
the sort of sensationist trash
143
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:13,334
you two are used to watching.
144
00:04:13,377 --> 00:04:15,376
You know, where
it's all drug deals
145
00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:17,897
and teens eating each
other in the woods.
146
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:20,243
- I watch "7th
Heaven." Nobody is...
147
00:04:20,286 --> 00:04:22,045
- Don't... don't listen to him.
- There's no drug deal
148
00:04:22,069 --> 00:04:23,806
in "Touched by an Angel."
149
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,328
- Oh! Andy, my man!
150
00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:28,195
Long time no see.
- Oh, yeah, hey.
151
00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:31,237
It's... it's good to
see you again, yeah.
152
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,039
- Hey, look, I'm gonna let
the ladies do their thing.
153
00:04:33,063 --> 00:04:35,190
I just wanted to
say, no pressure.
154
00:04:35,235 --> 00:04:36,775
Don't feel like you have
to agree to anything
155
00:04:36,799 --> 00:04:37,973
just 'cause we're friends.
156
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:39,537
- I... I appreciate
that. Thanks.
157
00:04:39,581 --> 00:04:40,841
- Hi, Andy.
158
00:04:40,884 --> 00:04:42,926
I just wanna say I'm
a huge, huge fan.
159
00:04:42,970 --> 00:04:44,033
I mean, I'm blushing.
- Thank you.
160
00:04:44,057 --> 00:04:45,119
- I mean, can you
see I'm blushing?
161
00:04:45,143 --> 00:04:46,185
And sweating.
162
00:04:46,229 --> 00:04:47,507
- No, I'm not.
I'm just blushing.
163
00:04:47,532 --> 00:04:48,836
I'm just blushing.
164
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,637
Anyway, I'm gonna let
Sadie take it from here.
165
00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:52,376
- So we've got the Payne
Turro driving through
166
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,528
all kinds of
different landscapes.
167
00:04:54,572 --> 00:04:57,397
We got the quiet,
the hustle bustle...
168
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,157
- Probably what you're
used to, right, Andy?
169
00:05:00,395 --> 00:05:01,873
- You dropped out.
What was that?
170
00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:03,915
- Oh, say what you said.
171
00:05:03,959 --> 00:05:05,566
- I said, "The
hustle bustle..."
172
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:07,521
- And I said, "You're
used to that."
173
00:05:08,695 --> 00:05:11,303
- Oh, uh, yeah,
okay, yeah, sure.
174
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,823
You're losing him.
175
00:05:12,867 --> 00:05:15,691
- Andy, we see you as the
next James Stewart, really.
176
00:05:15,735 --> 00:05:16,821
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
177
00:05:16,865 --> 00:05:19,341
Beloved and trusted,
America's friend.
178
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:21,253
I mean, there really
is no one else
179
00:05:21,297 --> 00:05:22,687
who could lead this campaign.
180
00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:24,338
- Except for Kevin
Costner, right?
181
00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:28,554
- You know, honestly, I was
never really a fan of Costner.
182
00:05:28,597 --> 00:05:30,987
I was rooting for the other
guy in "The Bodyguard."
183
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,334
- The stalker?
184
00:05:32,378 --> 00:05:33,527
- No, the baseball...
The baseball movie?
185
00:05:33,551 --> 00:05:35,332
- No, no, no, he's
a sex stalker.
186
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,766
- Yeah, no, it was a stalker.
- Huh.
187
00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:39,374
Hey, Cyrus.
188
00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:41,677
- Guess how much Andy
Richter-signed headshots
189
00:05:41,721 --> 00:05:42,807
go for on eBay.
190
00:05:42,851 --> 00:05:43,980
- Mm-mm-mm, 500?
191
00:05:44,024 --> 00:05:45,327
- No, less than that.
192
00:05:45,371 --> 00:05:47,326
But it's good.
- Hey, can I put you down
193
00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:48,779
as a reference for the
management program?
194
00:05:48,803 --> 00:05:50,151
- Of course! That's great.
195
00:05:50,195 --> 00:05:51,344
You got to the
interview portion.
196
00:05:51,368 --> 00:05:52,584
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you nervous?
197
00:05:52,628 --> 00:05:53,540
Nervous?
198
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:54,974
No, no, no.
199
00:05:55,018 --> 00:05:57,095
I just thought it was, like,
a casual meet and greet.
200
00:05:57,973 --> 00:06:00,493
Or... or maybe less casual.
201
00:06:00,537 --> 00:06:02,101
- Don't let me get in your head.
202
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,448
Try to think of it as a
normal, regular job interview.
203
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:07,141
- Right, I have never
actually had a job interview.
204
00:06:07,185 --> 00:06:08,924
Yeah, I got the job
on the assembly line
205
00:06:08,967 --> 00:06:10,364
because my buddy's
dad worked there.
206
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,202
Before that, kids at school
would just give me money
207
00:06:12,226 --> 00:06:14,182
when I ate weird stuff.
208
00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:15,920
- Jack, do you
even have a résumé?
209
00:06:15,963 --> 00:06:17,701
- Mm, mm-mm.
210
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,743
- I'm sure it'll be fine.
211
00:06:21,178 --> 00:06:22,457
- Look, I'm just
gonna call it out.
212
00:06:22,481 --> 00:06:23,872
Costner cut ties with us
213
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,870
because of our
recent issues, okay?
214
00:06:25,914 --> 00:06:30,129
But I can promise you that
we are coming back stronger,
215
00:06:30,173 --> 00:06:32,562
and we would love for you to
be a part of that comeback.
216
00:06:34,257 --> 00:06:37,821
- Well, uh, you know, I
believe in second chances,
217
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,472
and I like you guys.
218
00:06:39,515 --> 00:06:41,080
So, uh, I'm in.
219
00:06:41,123 --> 00:06:42,209
Let's do this.
220
00:06:42,253 --> 00:06:43,340
Awesome.
221
00:06:43,382 --> 00:06:44,990
- Well, we're
very, very excited.
222
00:06:45,034 --> 00:06:46,685
We promise that you
won't regret it,
223
00:06:46,728 --> 00:06:48,467
and we promise no more fires.
224
00:06:51,856 --> 00:06:53,030
- You dropped out again.
225
00:06:53,074 --> 00:06:54,073
What was that last part?
226
00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:55,222
- Um, can we just end this now?
227
00:06:55,246 --> 00:06:56,680
We're done.
- Bye!
228
00:06:56,723 --> 00:06:58,810
- Bye!
- Ah!
229
00:07:00,852 --> 00:07:03,155
- Uh, hey, everyone,
uh, Andy Richter
230
00:07:03,198 --> 00:07:04,284
is coming in today.
231
00:07:04,328 --> 00:07:05,433
We're gonna be
showing him around,
232
00:07:05,457 --> 00:07:06,520
signing contracts, all that.
233
00:07:06,544 --> 00:07:07,717
So best feet forward, okay?
234
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,152
Uh, Cyrus, is the car ready?
- Yes.
235
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,846
We have a brand-new, luxury
trim, top-of-the-line
236
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:13,584
Payne Turro for
Andy to take home.
237
00:07:13,627 --> 00:07:15,428
- And it's not, like, a
dumb color or anything?
238
00:07:15,452 --> 00:07:16,669
- Correct. I chose one of our
239
00:07:16,712 --> 00:07:18,363
non-dumb colors.
- Great.
240
00:07:18,407 --> 00:07:20,406
- Oh, and I know it
can be intimidating
241
00:07:20,449 --> 00:07:22,014
seeing a celebrity in person,
242
00:07:22,058 --> 00:07:23,448
but as a friend of his,
243
00:07:23,492 --> 00:07:25,577
I can assure you that
Andy is basically
244
00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:26,857
the coolest guy
you'll ever meet.
245
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:28,315
But maybe don't,
like, approach him.
246
00:07:28,358 --> 00:07:29,793
If you wanna meet
him, come to me.
247
00:07:29,836 --> 00:07:31,550
I'll give you the thumbs-up
or the thumbs-down.
248
00:07:31,574 --> 00:07:32,767
- Okay, I think
what we're saying
249
00:07:32,791 --> 00:07:34,051
is be warm,
250
00:07:34,094 --> 00:07:36,137
but don't go overboard
trying to impress him.
251
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:37,416
- Right, exactly, so like, Jack,
252
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,875
I love the effort, but, mm,
253
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:40,588
maybe probably didn't
need to dress up today.
254
00:07:40,612 --> 00:07:41,873
Oh, this?
255
00:07:41,916 --> 00:07:43,872
No, it's not about that.
256
00:07:43,915 --> 00:07:45,716
I have an interview for
the management program.
257
00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:47,392
- Oh!
- Congrats, dude!
258
00:07:47,435 --> 00:07:49,086
You're like our
own Billy Madison.
259
00:07:49,130 --> 00:07:50,303
Thanks, thanks.
260
00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:51,998
Uh, you know, I'm
definitely nervous.
261
00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:53,407
Oh,
stop looking at me, swan.
262
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,649
Okay, great.
263
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,387
Jack, let's not
pull focus, okay?
264
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:57,579
- Right.
- Today's about Andy Richter.
265
00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,038
Tomorrow could be a Jack day.
266
00:07:59,081 --> 00:08:01,645
All right, everyone! Good luck!
267
00:08:01,688 --> 00:08:03,991
Hi, Andy. Welcome
to Payne Motors.
268
00:08:04,035 --> 00:08:05,251
- Thank you, thank you. Hi.
269
00:08:05,295 --> 00:08:06,685
- Hi.
- There's my guy!
270
00:08:06,729 --> 00:08:08,033
- Hey, hi.
- Come here.
271
00:08:08,076 --> 00:08:09,771
Oh, wow.
272
00:08:09,814 --> 00:08:11,595
- Hi.
- Thank you so much
273
00:08:11,639 --> 00:08:13,421
for coming all the way here.
274
00:08:13,464 --> 00:08:15,768
- Oh, you know, I have
family in Michigan,
275
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:16,941
so you know, um,
276
00:08:16,984 --> 00:08:18,331
coming here isn't a Payne.
277
00:08:21,026 --> 00:08:22,546
- Dude, Andy, you're so frunny.
278
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,240
Funny... sorry. I
meant to say "funny."
279
00:08:25,284 --> 00:08:27,326
I just... I mean,
obviously, it just...
280
00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:29,368
Uh,.
281
00:08:29,411 --> 00:08:31,585
- Well, Andy, we wanted
to kick things off
282
00:08:31,628 --> 00:08:34,365
with a little token
of our appreciation.
283
00:08:34,408 --> 00:08:36,842
How do you feel about a new car?
284
00:08:36,885 --> 00:08:38,233
Wh...
285
00:08:38,277 --> 00:08:39,492
- What?
- Oh...
286
00:08:39,537 --> 00:08:40,884
- That is incredible!
Thank you!
287
00:08:40,928 --> 00:08:42,579
- Sorry, Andy. Bit of
a misunderstanding.
288
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:43,840
That's actually my car.
289
00:08:43,883 --> 00:08:46,055
- Your car?
- Your car's, uh... ah!
290
00:08:46,099 --> 00:08:47,359
Right there, yeah.
- Uh, Andy,
291
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:50,618
this is the all-new Payne Turro.
292
00:08:50,661 --> 00:08:51,618
- Oh.
293
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,617
Well, that's very nice too.
294
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:54,790
Thanks.
295
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,200
- Give him your car.
- What?
296
00:08:56,223 --> 00:08:57,851
- Give him your car.
- Give him my car?
297
00:08:57,875 --> 00:08:59,700
- Give him your car.
- You can't be serious.
298
00:08:59,744 --> 00:09:00,613
He can get his own car.
299
00:09:00,656 --> 00:09:03,003
Give him your car, Elliot.
300
00:09:03,046 --> 00:09:04,611
- Katherine.
301
00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:06,523
Right. Uh, Andy, uh, sorry.
302
00:09:06,566 --> 00:09:08,608
Just a bit of Payne
Motors humor there,
303
00:09:08,651 --> 00:09:12,302
pretending you were getting
the... the family sedan
304
00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:13,866
and not my convertible,
305
00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:16,822
which I don't really
want anyway, so...
306
00:09:16,865 --> 00:09:18,994
- Oh, no, I... I'm
fine with this car.
307
00:09:19,037 --> 00:09:20,515
- No, no, no...
308
00:09:20,558 --> 00:09:22,644
I'm
kidding. Thank you!
309
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,818
- He's very...
- Wow!
310
00:09:23,861 --> 00:09:25,381
A Ferrari!
- He's awfully funny.
311
00:09:29,032 --> 00:09:30,205
- I know.
312
00:09:30,249 --> 00:09:31,528
I know there's not
a lot on there.
313
00:09:31,552 --> 00:09:33,160
- It's certainly sparse.
- Yeah.
314
00:09:33,203 --> 00:09:34,811
- Uh, where'd you go to college?
315
00:09:35,594 --> 00:09:37,984
- I didn't actually
fully graduate college.
316
00:09:38,027 --> 00:09:39,785
- Oh, well, how many
more credits do you need?
317
00:09:39,809 --> 00:09:40,852
- Well...
318
00:09:42,372 --> 00:09:44,458
All of them.
- Oh.
319
00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:46,043
- I should've just said
I didn't go to college.
320
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,587
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.
321
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,934
- Oh.
322
00:09:48,978 --> 00:09:50,431
- Hope you're not writing
down that I'm a liar.
323
00:09:50,455 --> 00:09:52,324
No, just some notes.
324
00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:53,758
- Yeah, notes.
- Yeah.
325
00:09:55,843 --> 00:09:58,364
- Over here, we have our
accounting department
326
00:09:58,408 --> 00:09:59,407
crunching those numbers.
327
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,493
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
328
00:10:00,536 --> 00:10:01,884
It's boring, but
it is necessary.
329
00:10:01,927 --> 00:10:03,231
- Andy, Cyrus Knight.
330
00:10:03,274 --> 00:10:04,360
I'm a huge fan.
331
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,708
- Oh, thank you so much.
332
00:10:05,751 --> 00:10:07,508
- I hate to ask, but could
I get your autograph?
333
00:10:07,532 --> 00:10:09,184
- Oh...
- Okay, Cyrus, we're...
334
00:10:09,228 --> 00:10:10,922
- No, no, it's
fine. I'm happy to.
335
00:10:10,966 --> 00:10:12,747
- Just make it out
to "my biggest fan."
336
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:16,528
- Okay, "To my
biggest fan, Cyrus."
337
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:18,613
- No, just to "my biggest fan."
338
00:10:18,657 --> 00:10:19,701
- Okay.
339
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,438
Better not see
this on eBay later.
340
00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:22,742
eBay?
341
00:10:22,786 --> 00:10:24,349
That's good, eBay.
342
00:10:24,393 --> 00:10:26,435
You're a funny, funny man.
- Thank you.
343
00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:27,976
- Speaking of autographs,
how 'bout we get one of those
344
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,520
bad boys on a contract and
make this all official?
345
00:10:30,564 --> 00:10:32,476
- Yes, I just need to
use the restroom first.
346
00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:33,973
- Oh, yeah. Right
back the way we came.
347
00:10:33,997 --> 00:10:35,103
First door on the right.
- Thanks.
348
00:10:35,127 --> 00:10:36,169
- Mm-hmm.
349
00:10:36,213 --> 00:10:38,255
- Really?
350
00:10:38,299 --> 00:10:39,864
Mm-hmm.
351
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,819
- Dude, Andy, you're so funny.
352
00:10:41,862 --> 00:10:43,513
Dude, Andy, you're so funny.
353
00:10:43,557 --> 00:10:45,816
Dude, Andy,
you're so funny.
354
00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,815
Oh, no!
355
00:10:47,859 --> 00:10:49,293
Dude, Andy, you're so funny.
356
00:10:49,336 --> 00:10:51,118
That's it.
357
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:58,070
Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.
358
00:10:58,114 --> 00:10:59,157
Oh, hey, I wouldn't, uh...
359
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,287
- Oh, wow, ugh.
- Hey, Andy.
360
00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:01,590
Hey, that's not mine.
361
00:11:01,634 --> 00:11:03,112
I didn't do that.
- Yeah, well,
362
00:11:03,155 --> 00:11:04,285
maybe call a janitor.
363
00:11:04,328 --> 00:11:05,521
That should be fixed.
- No, no, no, no.
364
00:11:05,545 --> 00:11:07,370
I'm saying I didn't do it.
365
00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:09,171
I walked in here. That
was already bombed out.
366
00:11:09,195 --> 00:11:10,387
That's got nothing
to do with me.
367
00:11:10,411 --> 00:11:11,518
- Yeah, no.
- I haven't even gone yet.
368
00:11:11,542 --> 00:11:12,672
I swear.
- I believe you.
369
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,671
I believe... it's
fine. It's fine.
370
00:11:17,494 --> 00:11:19,668
- Dude, Andy, you're so funny.
371
00:11:20,450 --> 00:11:22,362
- Okay, thank you.
372
00:11:22,970 --> 00:11:24,882
- Uh...
373
00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,447
oh, no.
374
00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:28,619
- You know, I have not
been to Detroit in years.
375
00:11:28,663 --> 00:11:30,140
- Oh, I have just loved it here.
376
00:11:30,184 --> 00:11:31,618
There is so much to do.
377
00:11:31,662 --> 00:11:33,399
- Oh, do you have
any recommendations?
378
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,094
- Um, yeah. Oh, God,
there's so much.
379
00:11:36,137 --> 00:11:37,788
Uh, go downtown.
380
00:11:37,832 --> 00:11:40,352
- Okay.
- Yeah, there is this one place
381
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:43,567
that is on a corner,
382
00:11:43,611 --> 00:11:45,828
uh, in the main part.
- Mm.
383
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,262
- You're describing nothing.
384
00:11:47,304 --> 00:11:48,411
- Oh, wait, you
talkin' about Ricky's?
385
00:11:48,435 --> 00:11:50,477
- Yeah! It's
Ricky... oh, Ricky's.
386
00:11:50,521 --> 00:11:52,259
- The titty bar?
- Oh.
387
00:11:52,302 --> 00:11:54,084
- I guess it's nice as
titty bars go, Andy.
388
00:11:54,127 --> 00:11:55,126
- Okay.
- Yeah.
389
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:56,560
We're a sex-positive company.
390
00:11:56,604 --> 00:11:57,821
So we love Ricky's.
- We do.
391
00:11:57,864 --> 00:11:58,927
We love them.
- I'm there all the time.
392
00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:00,341
- Okay,
393
00:12:00,384 --> 00:12:03,600
which one of you monsters
crap-blasted our bathroom?
394
00:12:03,644 --> 00:12:05,991
Andy and I couldn't believe
how disgusting it was.
395
00:12:06,034 --> 00:12:07,207
- I... I said it was okay.
396
00:12:07,251 --> 00:12:08,424
- It's not okay.
- Mm.
397
00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:10,423
- And whoever did
it should confess,
398
00:12:10,466 --> 00:12:11,814
so this all gets cleared up.
399
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:12,876
- Yeah, we'll look into that.
400
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,160
Anyway, Andy, we're just...
401
00:12:14,203 --> 00:12:15,439
We're so happy to
be working with you.
402
00:12:15,463 --> 00:12:16,854
- Me too. You
know, it's funny,
403
00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:18,027
because just last week,
404
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,983
I met Ryan Reynolds at a party,
405
00:12:20,026 --> 00:12:22,025
and he kept going on and on
406
00:12:22,069 --> 00:12:24,068
about how much he
loves Payne cars,
407
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,893
and now here I
am, the spokesman.
408
00:12:25,936 --> 00:12:27,153
- Huh!
409
00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:28,543
Ryan Reynolds, the actor?
410
00:12:28,587 --> 00:12:30,586
- Yeah.
- Like, "Deadpool," "Free Guy,"
411
00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:33,019
that Ryan Reynolds?
- Yeah, I'd have to check IMDb,
412
00:12:33,063 --> 00:12:35,062
but yeah, I think so.
413
00:12:35,105 --> 00:12:36,409
- Hmm.
- Well...
414
00:12:36,452 --> 00:12:38,060
You know what?
415
00:12:38,103 --> 00:12:39,841
I forgot the champagne.
416
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:41,469
Do you wanna help me get it?
- Absolutely, yeah.
417
00:12:41,493 --> 00:12:42,555
You need two set of
hands there, sure.
418
00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:43,642
- I do.
- Yeah, we gotta get
419
00:12:43,666 --> 00:12:44,728
a ice bucket.
- Get one for...
420
00:12:44,752 --> 00:12:47,272
- Yeah, okay.
- I'll help her out.
421
00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:49,706
- Ryan Reynolds loves us?
- I know, I heard it too.
422
00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:51,096
I mean...
423
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:53,057
So is this something you
think we should explore?
424
00:12:53,095 --> 00:12:54,573
- I don't know. It's exciting.
425
00:12:54,617 --> 00:12:56,156
- Yeah, yeah.
- But I just don't wanna be
426
00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:58,484
like that dog with
the meat, you know?
427
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,917
That he crosses the stream,
and then he sees his reflection
428
00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:03,047
and thinks that dog's got
a bigger piece of meat,
429
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,499
and then he drops the meat,
like, do you know what I mean?
430
00:13:04,523 --> 00:13:05,871
Like, that's a thing, right?
431
00:13:05,914 --> 00:13:07,107
- Uh, yeah, I think so.
Yeah, the meat dog thing.
432
00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:08,489
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, listen, so...
433
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,322
should we stick with Andy?
- See, now I'm picturing
434
00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:12,085
Ryan Reynolds next
to a Payne Turro,
435
00:13:12,129 --> 00:13:14,388
and I'm like, "What?"
- I really love that image too.
436
00:13:14,431 --> 00:13:15,344
So it's your call.
- It's a good image.
437
00:13:15,388 --> 00:13:16,648
- What do you wanna do?
438
00:13:16,692 --> 00:13:18,604
- Got the contracts
for Andy to sign.
439
00:13:20,385 --> 00:13:22,384
- Change of plans. Do
not let him sign those.
440
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,272
- Yes, great, and do not
let him out of that room.
441
00:13:24,296 --> 00:13:25,816
You stall. Stall
like the wind.
442
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:27,487
- Champagne's this way, but
we're gonna get a bucket.
443
00:13:30,336 --> 00:13:32,224
- And so that, along with
the death of my grandfather
444
00:13:32,248 --> 00:13:33,378
when I was 12,
445
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:36,506
is probably why I
really fear failure.
446
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:38,331
- Okay, um, thank
you for sharing.
447
00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:39,635
- Mm-hmm.
- The question was,
448
00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:41,373
what's your biggest weakness?
449
00:13:41,416 --> 00:13:42,720
Not your biggest fear.
450
00:13:42,764 --> 00:13:44,675
- Yeah, I can... I'll
be happy to answer that.
451
00:13:44,719 --> 00:13:47,283
- It was a moving story,
and I'm glad you shared it.
452
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:50,629
It's all... It's all
grist for the mill.
453
00:13:50,673 --> 00:13:52,470
- Thank... thank you.
- So thank you for that.
454
00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:54,496
- I'm just... yeah.
- Um, yeah.
455
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,930
- Uh, references made to
the agreement date as of...
456
00:13:56,973 --> 00:13:57,993
- Yeah.
- That's where the month
457
00:13:58,017 --> 00:13:59,798
all goes, so you got that.
- Right.
458
00:13:59,842 --> 00:14:00,971
- And on the day of...
459
00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:02,927
That's where we'll
put today's date.
460
00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:05,621
- Yeah, we don't have
to read the whole thing.
461
00:14:05,665 --> 00:14:07,751
I mean, I get it.
It's a contract.
462
00:14:07,794 --> 00:14:09,639
- Well, and I'm sure you've
had a lot of experience
463
00:14:09,663 --> 00:14:11,444
with contracts in Hollywood.
464
00:14:11,487 --> 00:14:12,637
You know, but that's
show business,
465
00:14:12,661 --> 00:14:14,356
and this is the car business,
466
00:14:14,399 --> 00:14:18,309
which is whole nother business.
467
00:14:18,353 --> 00:14:19,981
- Okay.
- Hands are tied somewhat.
468
00:14:20,005 --> 00:14:21,134
- All right.
469
00:14:21,178 --> 00:14:22,872
- I think this is the
right move, right?
470
00:14:22,916 --> 00:14:24,674
- Yeah, I mean, look,
I've never had a sex dream
471
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,915
about Andy Richter.
472
00:14:25,958 --> 00:14:27,151
- Have you had one
about Ryan Reynolds?
473
00:14:27,175 --> 00:14:28,348
- Oh, yeah.
474
00:14:28,391 --> 00:14:30,607
I mean, it's more of
a sex/anxiety dream.
475
00:14:30,651 --> 00:14:32,085
- Right.
- Like, he's pleasuring me,
476
00:14:32,128 --> 00:14:35,084
but I keep staring at this
plate of chicken Alfredo
477
00:14:35,127 --> 00:14:36,885
and worrying about how
long it's been sitting out.
478
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:38,884
- Yeah, them cream sauces
will turn on you real quick.
479
00:14:38,908 --> 00:14:40,341
Like that.
480
00:14:40,384 --> 00:14:42,906
Ryan Reynolds' autograph goes
for way more than Andy's.
481
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,600
I definitely think
this is the right move.
482
00:14:44,644 --> 00:14:46,121
- Plus, he's so
holier-than-thou.
483
00:14:46,164 --> 00:14:47,835
Like, "I'm Andy Richter.
I'm from Hollywood.
484
00:14:47,859 --> 00:14:49,423
I would never clog a toilet."
485
00:14:49,466 --> 00:14:50,597
- Hey, guys.
- Hey!
486
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:51,770
- Hi!
- Hi!
487
00:14:51,814 --> 00:14:53,421
Sorry, Ryan.
488
00:14:53,464 --> 00:14:55,768
We were just talking about how
someone clogged the toilet.
489
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:56,767
- Uh, no problem.
490
00:14:56,811 --> 00:14:57,853
Happens to the best of us.
491
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,939
- No, no, no, no. It wasn't me.
492
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,895
I... I walked in, and
I saw it like that.
493
00:15:01,938 --> 00:15:03,634
- Okay. I believe you.
494
00:15:03,676 --> 00:15:05,502
- Okay, good.
495
00:15:05,546 --> 00:15:07,240
- Well, I do think we
can wrap this up...
496
00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:08,500
- Mm.
497
00:15:08,544 --> 00:15:09,997
- Unless you have
any questions for me.
498
00:15:10,021 --> 00:15:11,325
- For sure, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
499
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,585
Uh, do you...
500
00:15:14,236 --> 00:15:15,670
Have any plans this weekend?
501
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,842
- Nope. No, just...
just staying in.
502
00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:21,406
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
503
00:15:21,449 --> 00:15:22,666
- That's very cool.
504
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:24,447
- Well, uh, it was
nice to meet you, Jack.
505
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:25,535
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
506
00:15:25,578 --> 00:15:27,577
Okay.
507
00:15:27,621 --> 00:15:29,533
I'm charming.
508
00:15:29,576 --> 00:15:31,401
- What?
- I'm usually very charming,
509
00:15:31,444 --> 00:15:33,095
but I'm... I'm nervous,
510
00:15:33,139 --> 00:15:34,593
because I've never
actually done this before,
511
00:15:34,617 --> 00:15:36,441
but normally... Normally,
I'm... I'm smooth.
512
00:15:36,485 --> 00:15:38,528
- Mm.
- I am... I'm smooth.
513
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:39,875
- Mm.
514
00:15:41,004 --> 00:15:42,371
- Right.
- And that's the end... okay.
515
00:15:42,395 --> 00:15:43,481
All right.
- Yep. Yep.
516
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,959
- Good to know.
Thank you very much.
517
00:15:45,002 --> 00:15:48,565
- Ryan, we really see you
as the next Jimmy Stewart.
518
00:15:48,609 --> 00:15:50,738
Beloved, trusted.
519
00:15:50,782 --> 00:15:53,562
There's no one else who
can lead this campaign.
520
00:15:53,606 --> 00:15:54,475
Guys, I'm so...
521
00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:55,822
I'm really sorry.
522
00:15:55,866 --> 00:15:57,276
My kids are... They're
yelling for me,
523
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,580
so I'm just gonna cut
to the chase right here.
524
00:15:58,604 --> 00:15:59,646
Look, I love your company,
525
00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:00,993
I love the cars,
526
00:16:01,037 --> 00:16:03,253
and I would absolutely
love to do this.
527
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,600
Oh!
528
00:16:04,643 --> 00:16:05,861
I think I speak for all of us
529
00:16:05,903 --> 00:16:07,902
when I say we love you, Ryan.
530
00:16:07,946 --> 00:16:09,356
Hey, we'll be in
touch with your agent.
531
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:11,205
- Awesome, awesome,
awesome. Talk soon.
532
00:16:11,248 --> 00:16:12,248
Whoo!
533
00:16:12,292 --> 00:16:13,639
- Whoa!
- Wow!
534
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:14,745
- Amazing.
- You know, I never really got
535
00:16:14,769 --> 00:16:15,918
the whole Ryan Reynolds thing,
536
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,288
but after seeing him
on Zoom, I get it.
537
00:16:18,331 --> 00:16:19,418
Mm-hmm.
538
00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:20,895
- Nice work, Sadie.
- Thanks.
539
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,720
- How are you gonna
break it to Andy?
540
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:23,851
- Me?
- Yeah, you kind of
541
00:16:23,894 --> 00:16:25,371
took the reins on
this one, so yeah.
542
00:16:25,414 --> 00:16:26,892
- I feel like it was both of us.
543
00:16:26,936 --> 00:16:30,151
Like, one hand each
holding the rein thing.
544
00:16:30,195 --> 00:16:31,716
- I don't think
that's how reins work.
545
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,584
- There we go, see? A
double comma, you know?
546
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,298
That's... we'll have
to get that sorted out
547
00:16:36,322 --> 00:16:38,277
before we go any further.
548
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,451
I...
- Hey.
549
00:16:39,495 --> 00:16:41,189
- Hi.
- I am so sorry
550
00:16:41,232 --> 00:16:43,101
to keep you waiting.
- Oh, it's all good.
551
00:16:43,144 --> 00:16:45,708
I... I think we're
about ready to sign.
552
00:16:45,752 --> 00:16:48,533
I mean, I really,
really hope we are.
553
00:16:48,577 --> 00:16:50,184
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
554
00:16:50,227 --> 00:16:51,575
But just before we do,
555
00:16:51,618 --> 00:16:53,921
I just wanna make
absolutely sure
556
00:16:53,964 --> 00:16:57,050
that you're comfortable
being associated with us
557
00:16:57,093 --> 00:17:00,048
with the recall and
the terrible fire.
558
00:17:00,092 --> 00:17:02,656
If you think that doing
this could harm your career
559
00:17:02,698 --> 00:17:04,523
in any way, I would
understand completely.
560
00:17:04,568 --> 00:17:06,826
- You know, honestly,
just you saying that
561
00:17:06,870 --> 00:17:08,696
shows what a great
place this is.
562
00:17:08,739 --> 00:17:11,041
I'm not gonna quit
over one mistake.
563
00:17:11,086 --> 00:17:12,692
Well...
564
00:17:12,737 --> 00:17:14,519
Full disclosure, it's
not just one mistake.
565
00:17:14,562 --> 00:17:17,386
There's a lot of
shady stuff that's...
566
00:17:17,430 --> 00:17:18,868
You know, it could
break any day now.
567
00:17:18,908 --> 00:17:20,907
- What shady stuff?
- I can't give any details.
568
00:17:20,949 --> 00:17:23,558
I'm so sorry, but it's...
it's drugs and sex.
569
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:25,513
- Wait, what? Okay,
stop talking right now.
570
00:17:25,557 --> 00:17:28,380
- Let me... I...
I... I'm a loyal guy.
571
00:17:28,424 --> 00:17:30,379
Okay? So whatever happens,
572
00:17:30,423 --> 00:17:32,074
we can weather it together.
573
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,507
- Andy, I'm so sorry.
It's not gonna work out.
574
00:17:35,551 --> 00:17:37,048
We have decided to go in
a different direction,
575
00:17:37,072 --> 00:17:38,158
spokesman-wise.
576
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,501
Mother!
577
00:17:47,545 --> 00:17:48,848
What did I do wrong?
578
00:17:48,892 --> 00:17:50,630
What did I do?
- You didn't do anything.
579
00:17:50,673 --> 00:17:51,803
- Is it a looks thing?
580
00:17:51,846 --> 00:17:53,244
- Nope.
- Because I can look better.
581
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,453
I can get a trainer, and
I build muscle so fast.
582
00:17:56,496 --> 00:17:59,320
- It's not that, Andy.
- Or do you want me to get fat?
583
00:17:59,363 --> 00:18:00,841
Do you want, like,
a funny fat guy?
584
00:18:00,885 --> 00:18:03,318
Because I can get so
fat for you.
585
00:18:03,361 --> 00:18:04,425
- No, it's not.
We don't need fat.
586
00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:05,491
We don't need thin.
587
00:18:05,535 --> 00:18:07,055
- What am I gonna
tell my family?
588
00:18:07,098 --> 00:18:10,010
I mean, my dad was so
proud of me, and...
589
00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:11,140
What am I gonna tell him?
590
00:18:11,183 --> 00:18:13,226
- He'll understand.
- No, he won't!
591
00:18:13,269 --> 00:18:14,443
You don't know him!
592
00:18:14,486 --> 00:18:15,896
- I don't.
- I guess I'll just have to
593
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,658
tell him that his boy's
a loser, like always!
594
00:18:18,702 --> 00:18:21,048
- You're not a loser.
- You don't have to tell him.
595
00:18:26,697 --> 00:18:29,217
- What I meant to say was,
"This program will help me
596
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:30,323
excel at a job that
I'm passionate about."
597
00:18:30,347 --> 00:18:31,694
But what came out
of my mouth was,
598
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:33,258
"I'm charming."
599
00:18:33,302 --> 00:18:34,562
- Oh, baby, that's rough.
600
00:18:34,606 --> 00:18:35,964
- Sounds like you
really bombed it.
601
00:18:35,996 --> 00:18:37,494
- Thanks, Dale.
- Listen, just go back down
602
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:38,778
and say it to him now.
603
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,317
- Oh, it's too late,
Cyrus. I already blew it.
604
00:18:40,341 --> 00:18:42,123
- Jack, you have
nothing left to lose.
605
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,166
- Yeah.
- Okay.
606
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:44,687
- Come on, Jack.
- Okay.
607
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,314
- Believe in yourself.
- I'm gonna do it.
608
00:18:46,338 --> 00:18:47,468
- Yes.
- Yeah.
609
00:18:47,512 --> 00:18:48,685
- Yes.
- Yeah. Feel it.
610
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,467
- You're kind, you're
smart, you important.
611
00:18:50,510 --> 00:18:51,616
- Head up, head up.
- That's right.
612
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:52,900
- You got this, Jack.
- Yeah!
613
00:18:52,944 --> 00:18:54,484
- And maybe mention me
while you're in there.
614
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,159
- Dale, for the last time,
615
00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:58,462
you need to find
your own path, baby.
616
00:18:59,201 --> 00:19:01,200
- Excuse me. I'll
just be a second.
617
00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:02,262
- Gary, I just wanna...
- Hey!
618
00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:03,286
Hey! Uh...
619
00:19:03,329 --> 00:19:04,285
- God!
- No!
620
00:19:04,328 --> 00:19:05,589
- No!
- Uh, okay.
621
00:19:05,632 --> 00:19:07,153
- I'm so sorry! I'm
so, so, so sorry.
622
00:19:09,152 --> 00:19:10,238
- Should just be a minute.
623
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:11,760
- I can't believe
we're getting Ryan.
624
00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:13,280
- I know.
625
00:19:13,323 --> 00:19:14,734
Do you end up having sex
with him in the dream?
626
00:19:14,758 --> 00:19:15,776
- Oh, no, we never get that far.
627
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,670
- Mm.
- I eat the pasta, though.
628
00:19:17,712 --> 00:19:19,711
- Yum.
- Mmm, it is so good.
629
00:19:19,755 --> 00:19:21,363
Katherine,
630
00:19:21,407 --> 00:19:23,101
I'm so sorry to
keep you waiting.
631
00:19:23,144 --> 00:19:25,143
So Ryan's not gonna do this.
632
00:19:26,056 --> 00:19:28,141
- Well, we just spoke to
him about ten minutes ago,
633
00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:29,445
and he said he was.
634
00:19:29,489 --> 00:19:31,140
- Well, I spoke to
him one minute ago,
635
00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:32,444
and he said he wasn't.
636
00:19:32,488 --> 00:19:34,008
- He literally told us,
637
00:19:34,051 --> 00:19:35,834
"I would absolutely
love to do this."
638
00:19:35,876 --> 00:19:37,417
- Ryan would love to
do a lot of things,
639
00:19:37,441 --> 00:19:38,919
but come on.
640
00:19:38,962 --> 00:19:40,961
He's not interested in
Costner's sloppy seconds.
641
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,458
Plus, we've been in
talks with Dannon Yogurt,
642
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,569
and I think that's really
643
00:19:43,612 --> 00:19:44,915
where his head is at right now.
644
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:46,654
He appreciates the
interest, though.
645
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:49,435
- We dropped the meat.
646
00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:52,433
- Yeah, we're meat dogs.
647
00:19:52,477 --> 00:19:54,823
- Really? Just right
there in his office?
648
00:19:54,866 --> 00:19:57,039
- Yep, and then when
I got back here,
649
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:59,473
there was a voicemail
saying I'm in the program.
650
00:19:59,516 --> 00:20:01,123
- Oh, there you go!
- Hey.
651
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,341
- No, I'm not gonna take it.
652
00:20:02,385 --> 00:20:03,731
He's only letting me in
653
00:20:03,774 --> 00:20:05,097
because he's worried that
I'm gonna report him.
654
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,860
It'd be like blackmail.
655
00:20:06,904 --> 00:20:09,076
Oh, Jack.
656
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:10,988
So young, so stupid.
657
00:20:11,031 --> 00:20:12,379
Let me give you the first lesson
658
00:20:12,422 --> 00:20:14,378
in the world of business:
659
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,246
take every advantage
you can get.
660
00:20:16,289 --> 00:20:17,984
- Mm-hmm. Some folks
have rich parents
661
00:20:18,027 --> 00:20:20,070
who send them to ritzy schools.
662
00:20:20,113 --> 00:20:21,504
Other folks walk
in on supervisors
663
00:20:21,548 --> 00:20:23,112
jerking it to daytime porn.
664
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,110
That's just the game.
665
00:20:26,936 --> 00:20:28,892
Okay. Okay.
666
00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:30,239
Okay, I'm gonna take it.
667
00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:31,475
- As you should.
- I know that's right.
668
00:20:31,499 --> 00:20:33,063
- Great call.
Just to be clear,
669
00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:36,148
uh, is there an actual rule
against masturbating at work,
670
00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:38,103
or is it just,
like, frowned upon?
671
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:44,274
- We screwed up.
672
00:20:44,318 --> 00:20:46,273
- We gambled.
- Yeah.
673
00:20:46,317 --> 00:20:47,968
- If you've got a
16 in blackjack,
674
00:20:48,011 --> 00:20:49,228
and the dealer's showing a 7,
675
00:20:49,271 --> 00:20:50,401
what are you gonna do?
676
00:20:50,445 --> 00:20:52,357
Stay?
- I do not know.
677
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,313
- You hit. I mean,
unless you want
678
00:20:53,357 --> 00:20:54,486
some chain-smoking grandma
679
00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:56,224
cursing you out in Mandarin.
680
00:20:56,267 --> 00:20:57,442
God, I miss Vegas.
681
00:20:57,485 --> 00:20:59,223
Point is, even if you bust,
682
00:20:59,266 --> 00:21:01,004
hitting was still
the right call.
683
00:21:01,048 --> 00:21:02,221
- It was exciting.
684
00:21:02,264 --> 00:21:04,263
Just going for broke.
685
00:21:04,307 --> 00:21:06,132
- Watch out. Future
gambling addict.
686
00:21:06,175 --> 00:21:07,697
Put it all on red!
687
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:09,150
Oh, no, no, no, no.
- No, it's just...
688
00:21:09,173 --> 00:21:10,324
- You don't play roulette.
- I would never.
689
00:21:10,348 --> 00:21:11,627
- I mean, that's a
sucker's game, Sadie.
690
00:21:11,651 --> 00:21:12,757
I know you might've been
thinking that you were
691
00:21:12,781 --> 00:21:14,519
making a funny
joke, but I'm not...
692
00:21:14,562 --> 00:21:16,233
I don't think that's funny.
- I would never.
693
00:21:16,257 --> 00:21:17,213
- You're not stupid like that.
694
00:21:17,256 --> 00:21:19,081
- Yeah, I wouldn't do it.
- No.
49847
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