Original subtitles

(Scott moaning)

[Scott] Pull my hair.

Pull my..

(Scott and Marco groaning)

So, how long have you been here for?

I moved here in like 04.

So, a long time.

Not really.

Like, there's still so much I wanna do.

I haven't even been to the aquarium yet.

Oh, I mean, you're not missing out on much.

Well, what does SJ stand for?

(Scott softly chuckling)

It's just something my ex used to call me.

My real name is Scott.

You didn't think to change it back?

No, but like,

I kind of like it.

Plus it reminds me of him.

He's dead now.

Oh,

oh that's not good.

Yeah, like such a sad story.

Do you wanna hear about it?

Maybe save it for our second date.

(Marco chuckling)

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, see ya.

Can I come over tomorrow for lunch?

I have no plans.

I've got work tomorrow.

Oh, okay, yeah.

No worries.

Call me when you wake up.

Yeah, no.

Fuck.

Theo.

He looks familiar.

Does he work at Flight Center?

Do you ever wear clothes?

(Theo chuckling)

Yeah, I think he dated my cousin Gabe once.

I think his boyfriend died, or something.

Was it of boredom?

- Sorry? - Nevermind.

I'm sure your Mr. Right, is out there somewhere.

You just might need to stop sleeping with

the Mr. Right now's for now.

I think you can just focus on your own love life.

Goodnight Theo.

This is why you're still single.

Thanks for doing this so late.

That's okay.

I actually got myself a table for home.

It was on special at Aldi.

That's good.

Are you in much pain?

You have no idea how much I need your hands

to do their magic right now.

All right.

I'm good to go.

Hey babe.

You still okay with catching up tonight?

I'm good.

Where are you?

I'm walking home now.

You?

I'm just getting some sun.

Hey, is your mum still seeing her lover tonight?

Don't say lover.

And yes, she's still seeing Jeff tonight.

Oh that's nice.

Maybe this will be the one.

Was there anything else?

No, that's all.

I'll see you later.

All right, cool, ciao.

(upbeat music)

[Tyler] You're dusting again.

Yep.

Oh, by the way, thanks for doing the dishes.

I appreciate it.

Yeah, that's all right.

Let's just call it a thank you for understanding

on me being so late on the rent this month.

Tyler, are you gonna be late again?

(Tyler sighing)

I was until you pulled that Gabe face.

Dude.

Look, can I ask you something?

Sure, as long as it's not about money, but yeah, sure.

Teach me how to flirt.

How am I gonna do that?

I only flirt with girls.

Just pretend.

Don't gays just send dick pics?

I thought that's how you guys flirt.

Yeah, but I don't think he's gonna like that.

Sarcasm, Gabe.

Oh, right.

But you know, if it'll help,

I can just whip my cock out.

No.

No.

Leave it there, please.

Okay.

All right, look,

I'll start flirting and you just follow along.

All right?

Hey, Gabe.

Nice day out today, isn't it?

Yeah, it's really nice and sunny.

We should go for a walk and maybe get some lunch.

I think that'd be nice.

Okay, perhaps a little less like a robot

and a smidge more like a human being.

(Gabe sighing)

And also make eye contact.

How's he supposed to know you like him

if you don't make eye contact?

If I have to make eye contact

it's gonna be even more awkward.

I cannot do it.

Nothing is gonna be more awkward

than what I just witnessed.

Damn.

I really suck hard.

There you go.

There's your opening line.

That's all any guy wants to hear.

(gentle upbeat music)

Why does your breath always smell like Sunday mass?

[Clay] How should I know?

I don't go to church.

I love making out with you.

It's just, I hate that I feel like praying afterwards.

What's this?

It's my dad's.

The only thing I've got left of his.

He's not dead.

Yeah, I know.

It's hard to explain.

It's okay.

He means something to you.

That's all that matters.

I don't wanna go home now.

You know, we never have enough time together.

You're always so busy.

Sorry.

I've just been doing odd jobs to save as much as I can,

otherwise I'll never get my place.

I guess that would be better than making out in a park.

Yeah, that's true.

(Marco and Scott breathing heavily)

Well, I didn't ever expect to see you again,

but I'm glad you sent me a DM.

I'm gonna go.

Oh, no you don't have to head off,

I can make us some food and we can

watch some Netflix or...

Oh Marco, that's so lovely.

But I've actually started seeing someone

and I kind of like him and I'm seeing him later.

Oh,

yeah, yeah, sure.

No worries.

You do you.

(Marco laughing awkwardly)

(upbeat dance music)

I should go,

see how my friend's doing.

[Speaker] Stay, dance with me.

I mean, all I can see is like amyl eyes around me

and that's usually a good indication

that it's probably a good time to go.

Wait, can I at least get your number?

What for?

No one ever uses it when I give it to them.

I will.

(upbeat dance music continues)

Here,

add me on Insta.

Done.

Okay, well don't forget to accept my request.

Done.

And Clay,

just be careful.

Don't fucking talk shit.

No I'm not, he massages gay guys topless for cash.

It's like his side business, or something.

That's gay.

That's what I said.

I'm surprised I haven't seen him on any of the apps.

[Adam] No, I thought that too.

Do these guys expect

much more?

[Adam] Apparently not.

Well, he can massage me whenever he wants.

Are you serious?

No, of course not.

I'm fucking with you.

Did you ever message that guy back from the club?

Dazi?

No.

I'm not gonna message them, what for?

Them?

There was more than one guy that night?

No, that's their correct pronoun.

Got it.

But I thought they kind of liked you, no?

That's the problem.

They liked me within five minutes of meeting me.

That's a stage five clinger.

If they took the time to get to know me,

they would see that I'm an asshole with daddy issues,

and a weakness for guys who look like their mum

had one too many red wines during their pregnancy.

You're sounding like a stage five cunt.

And that's coming from a love place.

Oh yeah, I'm feeling much love right now.

And I thought they were,

I thought they were really cute.

One date isn't gonna kill you.

[Marco] You date them then.

Yeah, no, I really like Josh though.

(Marco mumbling)

I really like Josh though.

Pass the chips bitch.

Is your housemate home?

Yes, Theodore is home.

I think he's getting ready for a date.

When I finally get my own place,

I hope my housemate is that hot.

Well, when you do move out

make sure he's not as dumb as Theo.

He asked me last week if nuns eat meat.

(Adam laughing)

What?

What did you say?

I said, they don't have sex.

They're not fucking vegetarians.

It's like how my mum thinks that all lesbians are vegans.

People are fucked in the head,

- I'm telling you. - But,

you find him attractive, no?

Not even mildly.

Didn't you have a crush on him once?

What's your point?

I don't know how you do it.

I become a mess every time I think I like someone.

What's wrong with me?

Is that a rhetorical question?

Because I have a list if you want me to share it with you.

(Adam and Marco laughing)

(gentle music)

What about that one?

No.

Oh, no, is that H.R. Pufnstuf?

Fricking your housemate.

I've seen him fricking

he watches this shit religiously.

Have you seen him?

Hang on.

Oh, the theme song.

It's in my head.

Day and night.

I wake up to this shit.

Come on.

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where's your friends when things get rough ♪

♪ Hey H.R ♪

I don't know if that's actually the lyrics, I just...

Well, shut up.

All right,

I think but since it's up Now and Then.

Oh why?

Why put,

no.

No, no, no.

Let's change,

change the,

lemme just change the-

[Marco] It's too late, it started.

- It started. - Why is it?

Okay, yeah.

Hey.

Has anyone seen the bottle opener?

I don't know Theo,

maybe it's the kitchen, third draw down,

where it's always kept.

[Theo] Oh yeah.

Got it.

Thanks Marco.

What?

How can you live like this?

What him?

I don't notice anymore.

(soft music)

[Sammy] Hey.

Hey.

Are you cold?

I could put the heat on.

I'm good.

Can I fix you a drink?

Where's your table at?

Oh it's just down there.

Seeing as we've got a little more privacy.

I was wondering, what else do you do for your loyal clients?

Massage only, you know that.

No happy ending?

No.

Oh, that's no fun.

I can pay extra.

I don't want extra.

All right.

Well, how about you do it

with all of your clothes off this one time?

No, just my top.

What if I was to help you?

Don't do that.

Don't do that, don't do that.

- [Sammy] Come on. - Don't do that.

What the fuck are you doing?

What's the matter?

No, get fucked, I'm gone, see ya.

[Sammy] Oh come on.

What the fuck

- are you doing? - Don't touch me.

[Sammy] (indistinct) cock tease,

[Clay] Get off.

(phone buzzing)

Sorry.

Okay,

Clay, what's up?

What happened?

Slow down.

(upbeat electronic music)

(car engine gently revving)

Clay.

Clay, you all right?

[Clay] Where's my car?

[Adam] I was with Marco.

The car's at home just get in, all right?

[Clay] Thanks.

(gentle upbeat electronic music continues)

(Clay sighs)

Wait.

What is it?

My ring, it's not here.

I'm gonna fucking kill this guy.

Just relax.

I'll go get it.

That's dad's ring.

I need it back man, fuck.

Look, Marco will get it.

Just calm down.

Stay in the car.

It's number 28.

(Clay sobbing)

Just keep calm.

Oh fuck.

(Clay continues to sob)

[Marco] Here.

Thanks, Marco.

What'd you say to him?

I said he had one minute to hand it over or else.

Or else?

Well, I don't know what else.

I didn't think that far ahead.

I was just too busy trying to sound butch.

Then what happened?

Oh, he threw it at me thank God.

Otherwise I was gearing up to go full,

Gaga at the Super Bowl on his arse.

So butch.

(birds chirping)

Oh my God.

I want to know why I can't

- call the cops on this kid? - Mum.

Clayton was just trying to protect me, okay?

It was just some dick calling me names

and Clay lost his shit.

That's it.

What did he say?

All I know is the word fag got thrown around.

Well, next time, walk away.

I mean, it's not worth it.

Should I call your dad?

No, no.

Just, and what's he gonna do?

Okay, just leave it.

Hey, let's go make him some food.

Okay, yeah.

I'm making your favorite, toast with honey.

Do you want anything else?

Thanks for that.

You're okay.

Hey, can you text Josh

and tell him I can't train with him?

Will do boss.

Hey, you know that ring?

Yeah.

Nothing.

- Don't worry about it. - What?

It's just,

I didn't think you still cared about him is all.

You don't?

I mean, I get it.

All right?

I know you two are close.

I just wanted to know.

Well, now you know.

(soft music)

Oh.

Oh, okay.

Okay, so when your sister came out

you all group hugged as a family,

told each other that you loved and supported each other

like some kids after school program.

Okay.

Well, aren't you the fucking Brady Bunch?

(phone pinging)

(phone tapping)

Mum.

Do I have to wash the car today?

I know it's my turn, but I do that enough at work.

Please don't give me gravy.

Mum, we talked about this.

It's not a saying.

Are you sure?

Yes.

(Mum sobbing)

Hey, no, it's fine.

I'll wash it.

He dumped me.

Jeff?

Who else?

Why?

He said I was homophobic.

What, are you homophobic?

He said I wasn't supportive enough, or something.

And that I didn't tell you I loved you

when you came out to me.

What?

What a dickhead.

But I do love you.

Mum, I know you do okay?

You don't have to say it.

But I do (indistinct).

(Mum sniffling)

(phone vibrating)

(phone pinging)

You missed a spot.

(spray squirting)

You're early.

Always.

Did you chat with Clayton?

Yeah.

He's all right, but,

he's gonna need some time.

It's good to see you again.

Did you miss me?

Did you me?

I'm here aren't I?

Hey, we don't have to hide.

Clay's cool about us.

Just 'cause he didn't say anything,

doesn't mean it's all right.

- What should we do? - (upbeat music)