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1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:04,636
- Hi!
- Hello, sweetie.
2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:05,771
There's
your birthday present,
3
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:09,008
But you can't open it
till tomorrow.
4
00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,176
- Welcome,
mom- and dad-in-law.
5
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,412
hello, robert.
6
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,415
hello, raymond!
7
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,716
- Hey.
8
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:20,019
How ya doin'?
9
00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:21,520
- Pat, I remember
how much fun
10
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,056
You and raymond had
doing that puzzle last year,
11
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:25,457
So I bought one.
12
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:29,395
"the ten commandments."
13
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:31,163
All of which I love,
by the way,
14
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,166
Not a stinker among 'em.
15
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,268
- Actually, we've already done
that puzzle.
16
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,736
- Damn!
17
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:43,175
- Guess I gotta work
on this one right here.
18
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:49,281
- So, mom, dad, you guys'll be
sleeping in our room tonight.
19
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,350
- Yes, I think you'll be
very comfortable in our room.
20
00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:54,620
We have a great bed.
You're really gonna enjoy it.
21
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,625
Not...Enjoy enjoy.
22
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:03,562
Sleep.
Enjoyable sleep.
23
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,065
'cause that's all
you'll be doing, I'm sure.
24
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,369
Which is not to say
you can't do what you want,
25
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,404
'cause you can.
26
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,140
It's not like you'll be
breaking any commandments.
27
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:23,749
- It's like your mouth
is falling down the stairs.
28
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,492
- "enjoy our bed."
29
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,394
I'm such an idiot.
30
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,736
Oh, hi.
31
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:48,173
Is everything
all right?
32
00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:50,275
What, can't sleep?
33
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,211
Yeah, me neither.
34
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:10,729
- Your mom's cacciatore
was very spicy.
35
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:13,565
- Wow!
36
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,702
- Oh, robert, please don't
tell anyone I smoke.
37
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:19,238
- N-n-no, no, I won't.
38
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,307
- It's my dirty little secret.
39
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,576
I don't smoke a lot,
just three a day.
40
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,379
I've tried to quit,
but they're just so--
41
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,614
- Addictive.
42
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:32,417
- I was gonna say
wonderfully relaxing.
43
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:36,421
- That too.
Yeah.
44
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,690
So no one knows?
Not hank?
45
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,759
- Oh, goodness, no.
46
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:43,495
- Not even...Raymond?
47
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,696
- No.
48
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,635
- So if you don't
mind me asking,
49
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:52,171
How have you been able
to keep it hidden?
50
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,572
- It's not easy.
51
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,607
I buy my cigarettes
two counties over
52
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,910
Where no one knows me.
53
00:02:57,912 --> 00:03:00,412
- But you never
smell like smoke.
54
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,682
- I only smoke outside,
I hold it downwind,
55
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:07,853
And I always have
plenty of minty chewing gum.
56
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:12,591
In fact, hank thinks
gum-chewing is my bad habit.
57
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:15,360
- Interesting.
58
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:19,331
- I appreciate you bein'
so understanding, robert.
59
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,208
- Oh, sure.
Of--of course.
60
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,810
- I've kept it hidden so long,
it's kind of nice
61
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:36,448
To let someone in
on the secret.
62
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,450
- Well, I'm...
63
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,919
Glad I can...
64
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,487
Be that someone.
65
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:45,324
- Me too.
66
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:58,237
- So you...Mind
if I bum a ciggy?
67
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:02,708
- You want a cigarette?
But you don't smoke.
68
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,276
- Oh, sure, you know,
69
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,678
As a cop, it helps
to have a smoke every so often.
70
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,813
'cause I gotta tell you,
71
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,748
I see a lot of sick things
every day.
72
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:13,418
You know, I once found
a foot in a mailbox.
73
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,987
- Oh, my.
74
00:04:14,989 --> 00:04:16,688
- Oh, yeah,
luckily, we caught the guy
75
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:20,259
'cause there was
a return address.
76
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:23,395
It's a cop joke.
77
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,763
- Here you are.
78
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,298
- Ah...
79
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,401
Ah, great, yeah,
this will hit the spot.
80
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,780
- Are you sure
you're okay now?
81
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,616
- I'm fine.
Fine.
82
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:48,453
Listen, I--I'm sorry
I lied about me smoking.
83
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,456
I think I got
a little taste for it tonight,
84
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,760
And I just might
pick it up.
85
00:04:54,762 --> 00:05:00,365
- Robert, I want you to know...
86
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,635
I had a very nice time
talking with you.
87
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,704
- Me too.
88
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,072
- Okay.
89
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,876
Aw.
90
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,012
Good night.
91
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,447
- 'night.
92
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:26,491
Oh, sorry, I was just getting
a drink of milk.
93
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:41,440
- What's that smell?
94
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,442
- Nothing.
95
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:49,548
This is just a dream.
96
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,416
- Were you smoking?
97
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:55,954
- No. Shh.
Go back to sleep.
98
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,390
You're flying.
99
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:13,004
- Will ya--will ya
stop smelling me?
100
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,506
- Wait!
101
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,109
Hey!
102
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,677
Tell me the truth!
103
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,112
Do you smoke?
104
00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:22,080
- Shh!
People are sleeping,
105
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,416
And you're being
very inconsiderate.
106
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,752
- What's going on out here?
107
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:29,054
- You see what you did?
You woke up an old lady.
108
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:33,825
- Robert was smoking.
109
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,927
- I wasn't.
I wasn't!
110
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:36,962
- Smell him.
111
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,798
- Come here.
Come here.
112
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,933
Oh, my god!
113
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:44,536
- Ow!
114
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:47,572
What are you doing?
115
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,942
- Somebody better be dead
or dying.
116
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,177
- Smack him, frank.
117
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,012
- Ow!
118
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,680
- Can I go back
to bed now?
119
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,149
- Do you know what
he's been doing?
120
00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:58,650
Smell him.
121
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,587
No, not there!
122
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,190
His shirt!
123
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,592
- All right.
All right!
124
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,094
- He's been smoking!
125
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,565
- All right!
126
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:17,569
I did it just once, okay?
Just one time!
127
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:18,670
- Why?
128
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,705
- All right,
there was...
129
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:24,509
This new guy at work
who smokes, and he's--
130
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:27,479
And he's really popular,
and I just wanted to fit in.
131
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:35,454
But I didn't even like it.
It made me throw up.
132
00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:37,789
- No more lying.
You're a smoker!
133
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,991
- Is everything
all right?
134
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:43,094
- Everything's horrible!
Robert smokes!
135
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,197
- No!
136
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:48,633
- Don't you know that smoking
can stunt your growth?
137
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:55,106
- You know, I am not only
the vice principal
138
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:59,211
At cooper junior high school,
I am also the health ed teacher.
139
00:07:59,213 --> 00:08:02,981
- Good.
Tell him how bad smoking is.
140
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,550
- When any faculty member
brings me a youngster
141
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,085
Who they've caught smoking,
142
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,553
Do you know what
the first thing is
143
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:09,855
That I ask them?
144
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:13,258
"why don't you
just drink poison?"
145
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,194
Well, mr. Barone,
I'll ask you the same thing.
146
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,864
Why don't you
just drink poison?
147
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,801
- Do you have any?
148
00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:33,912
- Jokes.
Funny business.
149
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,514
It's what I get
from my 12-year-olds,
150
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,716
And I guess it's what
I'll get from you as well.
151
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,951
Can you believe this,
mother?
152
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:43,722
- Wait.
153
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,923
Robert...
154
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,297
I'm very disappointed
in you.
155
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,236
- Hey, puff the magic dragon!
156
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,206
- Where's everybody else,
robert?
157
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,341
- Oh, they'll be over soon.
158
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,143
I just had to get out of there.
159
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,978
Mom hasn't hit me this hard
since I was twelve
160
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,682
And she found me using her bra
as a slingshot.
161
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,321
- Yeah, what are you doing
smoking?
162
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,589
- I don't know.
163
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:51,690
- I mean, ugh.
It's so gross.
164
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,725
- What do you think,
it makes you look hip,
165
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:54,726
The smoking?
166
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,027
- No.
167
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,863
- Probably looks like
frankenstein blew a fuse.
168
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,369
- I don't smoke, all right?
169
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:05,870
I did it one time,
170
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,205
And it was just
so I could get closer to--
171
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,309
- Who?
Closer to who?
172
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,345
- No one.
173
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,680
Although she didn't exactly
stick up for me.
174
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,249
- She?
Who's "she"?
175
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,985
Marie?
- No.
176
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,152
- Amy?
- No.
177
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,954
- Not pat.
178
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,789
Pat?
179
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,093
No!
180
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,794
- Pat smokes?
181
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,763
- I caught her outside
last night, okay?
182
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,365
But don't say anything!
Nobody knows.
183
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:36,201
- Wait, wait, wait,
you were smoking with pat,
184
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:39,771
And you got in trouble,
and she didn't say anything?
185
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,272
- Don't worry about it.
186
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,674
- Ohh, you're not the smoker?
187
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,877
I had so many more names
for ya.
188
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:49,881
Smokey the bear,
h.R. Pufnstuf...
189
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,716
Towering inferno!
190
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,756
- Okay, birthday time.
191
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,358
- Aw, great,
they're here.
192
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,160
- Hey, robert...
193
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,429
I didn't know
you were cool.
194
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,438
- Hey, pat.
195
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,441
This is kinda crazy
over there today, huh?
196
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,910
- Yes, but I think
it'll blow over soon,
197
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,845
And then everything
will be fine.
198
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,781
- Yeah, I guess.
199
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,783
It's too bad about robert,
though.
200
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,384
He's such a good guy.
201
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,386
- Yeah, well, now it's none
of our business, though,
202
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:34,259
So we should probably...
Not talk.
203
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,994
- I mean,
he's just so sweet,
204
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,863
And I know he would do anything
to be closer to your family.
205
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:44,002
- He told you I smoke,
didn't he?
206
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,737
- What?
207
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,473
What?
No, noooo.
208
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:53,211
- You're a good actor,
you're...
209
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,748
So believable.
210
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,155
- I don't blame robert.
211
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,225
I put him in an awful position.
212
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,061
But hank and the kids
can't find out I smoke.
213
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:13,298
I can't imagine
what hank would do.
214
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,735
He has a jar at school
with a black lung in it.
215
00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:21,906
- You know, pat, you have got
to stand up for yourself.
216
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,241
This is your life.
217
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,443
You need to tell hank
how you feel.
218
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,912
- Or you could do whatever
you want in your own way,
219
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,382
In your own house.
220
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:34,285
- I know you're right, debra.
- So you'll talk to him?
221
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,154
- Oh, good gravy, no.
222
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:41,292
- And I also worry
about offspring, robert.
223
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,996
Did you know that addiction
can be an hereditary trait?
224
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,432
- My grandchildren!
225
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,536
- Yes, marie,
and what kind of an example
226
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,172
Do you think you'll set
for them, robert?
227
00:12:55,374 --> 00:13:00,145
- Hopefully good
to...Very good.
228
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,346
Mostly in that range.
229
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,515
- Hmm.
230
00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:07,051
None of this surprises
mother and me.
231
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:09,954
Sadly, we've come to expect
this sort of thing.
232
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,359
- He's a renegade cop
233
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:17,829
Who plays by his own rules.
234
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:20,999
Peeuwww!
235
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,433
- You know, robert,
236
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:26,137
We went to a great effort
to try to get closer to you,
237
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,006
But I can't see
how that can happen
238
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,507
With you behaving this way.
239
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,442
- Pat's the one who smokes!
240
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:36,481
Great.
I've become you.
241
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,818
- What exactly
are you saying, raymond?
242
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:40,985
- Hank, hank--
243
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,987
- Pat, please,
I'm defending your honor.
244
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,256
I won't allow you
to drag my family
245
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,859
Into the muck and mud
anymore.
246
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,160
- I smoke!
247
00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:55,567
- Mom?
248
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,569
mama?
249
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:05,376
- Don't be silly.
250
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,145
- Robert found me smoking
last night,
251
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:10,381
And to be closer to me--
to us--
252
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:13,117
He pretended that he smoked,
253
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:14,986
Which was very sweet,
254
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:18,890
But a little misguided.
255
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,859
- Oh, robert.
256
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:25,129
- So suddenly
pat's a hero.
257
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:28,132
How about if
I smoke "the pot"?
258
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:32,170
Would you be closer
to me then?
259
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,105
- How long have you smoked?
260
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,573
- Twenty-seven years.
261
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,576
- Ohh, my god!
262
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,178
- I'm sorry, hank.
263
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,646
- Smoking!
264
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:45,950
Smoking! It's like you never
listened to a word I said!
265
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,119
- Oh, hank, I listen to you
all the time,
266
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:51,055
And it's hard,
because you're so...
267
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,658
Overly certain
about everything.
268
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:57,328
- You mean like
"smoking is bad"?
269
00:14:57,330 --> 00:15:00,632
Well, why don't you
just drink poison?
270
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:06,671
- I have to tell you, hank,
271
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:09,340
I don't like
that tone of voice.
272
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:12,577
And I'll tell you
something else--
273
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,346
I think you're
the reason I smoke.
274
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:21,352
Now, you know I love you
with all my heart, hank,
275
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:24,055
But I think if
I didn't have my cigarettes,
276
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,124
I would have to fight you.
277
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,102
My goodness,
that felt good to say.
278
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,938
Thank you, debra.
279
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,177
- "thank you, debra"?
280
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,179
- You're welcome.
281
00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:01,993
- It's not just the smoking
that bothers me.
282
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,261
It's your deception.
283
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,997
Every time you've smoked,
you've lied to me.
284
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:11,102
- Robert, I apologize to you.
285
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,105
- Oh--daddy, wait!
- Yeah, please.
286
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,540
Look, I know
you're upset,
287
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,976
But I think what your wife did
is actually pretty common
288
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:20,712
Between married couples.
289
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:24,749
It was more like she was just
letting off steam
290
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,385
So you don't let it out
on the person you love.
291
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,388
You know?
Like ray.
292
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,191
He has to drive around the block
a few times every night
293
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,292
Listening to the radio
294
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,527
Before he goes home
to face debra.
295
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,708
- Are ya crazy?
296
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,050
I don't--I--this--
297
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,185
- All right, save it, ray.
298
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,521
You don't think I've seen you
circling the block,
299
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,223
All hunched over,
300
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,324
Just a big nose
301
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:10,028
And a steering wheel
going around?
302
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:13,364
- So you know
and you don't say anything?
303
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,734
And that's why after you leave,
I eat chocolate all day
304
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:20,304
Until you get home.
305
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:23,241
- That's a lot of sugar, debra.
306
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:30,048
- Is that in addition
to the drinking?
307
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,256
- You know, I realize
that I'm not married,
308
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:41,426
But I do secret things too.
309
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:44,429
- We believe you, petey.
Eat your chips.
310
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:47,231
- Like when I'm angry
at my cat "miss puss,"
311
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,233
Sometimes I'll sneak up
behind her
312
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,503
And bark like a dog.
313
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:55,239
That's how I got this scar.
314
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,510
- Pat!
315
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:05,783
- I thought since
it wasn't a secret anymore...
316
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,361
Okay.
317
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:24,535
- Dad, don't be so angry.
318
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,671
Everybody has
their little ways of coping
319
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,639
In their relationship,
even me.
320
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,475
- Of course.
321
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:33,277
What do you mean, you?
322
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,514
- Well, it's nothing.
Just...
323
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,886
You know how you always
have to have your toothbrush
324
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:46,157
In the holder
always facing to the right?
325
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:48,860
- Yeah, east.
326
00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:51,162
- I know, east.
327
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:55,133
So sometimes...
I don't know why...
328
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:58,436
I turn it...
329
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:01,439
West.
330
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,174
- That's you?
331
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,712
- I like to blow up fireworks.
332
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,520
- What are you saying, hank?
333
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:19,390
Do you think you're easy
to live with all the time, pat?
334
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,492
So skittish and faint-hearted
335
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,594
And "oh, my..."
336
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:30,201
And last year I caught a student
with fireworks...
337
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:33,504
And they were still
in my briefcase when I got home.
338
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,373
You were on the couch
recuperating
339
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:38,776
From your trip
to the grocery store.
340
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:42,713
I wanted to tell you
to just get over it.
341
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,515
Instead, I took the fireworks
into the woods
342
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,717
And I blew them up.
343
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,853
And I liked it.
344
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,489
So I got more.
345
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:54,458
I had to drive
to west virginia.
346
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,328
But it feels good
to be able to really
347
00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:01,599
Make some gosh-darn noise.
348
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,668
- So when you go
on your nature walks--
349
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:04,802
- That's right.
350
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:08,539
I blow up nature.
351
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,774
Boom!!!
352
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:15,546
- I'm sorry,
353
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,215
I know
none of this is funny,
354
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:19,917
Except that I can't believe
that you all have to resort
355
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,853
To this sort of behavior
to deal with your spouses.
356
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,224
- You're all nuts.
357
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:32,263
- You're laughin' at us?
You two?
358
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,631
- Hey, if I have a problem
with marie,
359
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,466
I don't do anything
behind her back.
360
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,702
I just turn to her and say,
361
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:42,940
"excuse me, darling.
Put a sock in it."
362
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,609
- And I do the same thing.
363
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:49,247
It's not healthy to hold in
all those negative feelings.
364
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,450
- And you two are healthy?
365
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,452
- Do we smoke?
366
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,020
Or play with gun powder?
367
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,356
Or bark at the cat?
368
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,798
- Who wants some lousy cake?
- Yeah.
369
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,969
- I'll be right back
to light the candles.
370
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,272
- Oh, I got it.
371
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,680
It must be
out of fluid.
372
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,915
- Here, I've got
some matches.
373
00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:35,860
You know, if that cake
really is lousy,
374
00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:38,029
We could just
blow it up.
25711
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