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1
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:07,006
- Hey, uh, here, let me help you
with these things.
2
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,173
This is nice,
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,577
Us working together
like this.
4
00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,579
- What's going on, ray?
5
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,614
- Okay, all right.
6
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,783
Here's the thing.
7
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,218
Robert and the guys,
8
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,387
They, uh, want
to go golfing tomorrow.
9
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:25,224
And I said,
"no, no way!"
10
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,126
Because it's--
it's the weekend,
11
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,694
And the weekend is
for family.
12
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,029
- Ugh.
- But then--
13
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,697
- Ray, ray, ray.
Spare me.
14
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,233
If you want
to play golf, go ahead.
15
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:38,070
- Really? 'cause I had
a lot more prepared.
16
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,405
- Ray, just play golf.
17
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,273
You don't have
to put on a big show.
18
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:45,644
I mean, it insults me when you
pretend to be a good husband.
19
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,212
- Hey.
20
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,447
- Hey.
- Hey.
21
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,182
- So, uh, raymond,
22
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,617
Did you talk
to a certain someone
23
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,252
About a certain something?
24
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:57,189
You don't have
to speak in code, mr. Bond.
25
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,457
I already said yes.
26
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:00,492
- Yeah.
27
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,461
- So, deb, since the guys
are leaving for golf tonight,
28
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:04,096
Maybe you and I
should do something.
29
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,465
- What? Tonight?
30
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,534
You said golf "tomorrow."
31
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:13,205
You sa- okay. See...Row."
32
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,407
We're going to play
bethpage black,
33
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,777
Which is the most famous
public course in the country--
34
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,647
Perhaps the world--
35
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,849
And the only way
to get a tee time
36
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,818
Is to line up
in your car tonight
37
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:28,720
And wait there
until the morning.
38
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,490
And, uh...
Well--
39
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,258
- Deb,
please let him do this.
40
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,627
I-I-it's for me,
gianni, and andy
41
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,429
Because, you know,
we don't like ray either.
42
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,865
It's just, I mean...
We need a fourth body.
43
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,800
- Yeah.
44
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,603
- And a van.
45
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,638
- Go ahead.
46
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,140
- Really?
47
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:50,542
- Yeah, go.
Have a good time.
48
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:54,546
- Thank you!
49
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,215
- Hi.
- Oh, hi, marie.
50
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,784
- Oh, I'm glad
you boys are here.
51
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,586
My laundry room shelves
were delivered,
52
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:03,322
So you can put them up
tomorrow morning.
53
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:04,523
- Oh, yeah, you know,
sorry, ma,
54
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,757
But ray and I
are going golfing.
55
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,192
But we'll do it for you
on Sunday.
56
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,827
- No, no, no.
That won't do
57
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,730
Because lee and stan are coming
for lunch tomorrow afternoon.
58
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:15,534
- I-I-it's kind of
all set, ma.
59
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:19,538
- So the list of things
more important than me
60
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:23,675
Just keeps getting longer.
61
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,746
All right, how about
doing the shelves now?
62
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,749
Do you have any time
for your mother now?
63
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,484
- Well, see, actually,
64
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,553
We're supposed to leave
for the golf course tonight.
65
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:37,890
- Oh. I understand.
66
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:39,691
Okay, go golfing.
67
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,360
Have a good time.
68
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,575
- Come on, just get it in there.
Come on, let's go.
69
00:02:56,577 --> 00:03:00,546
oh, oh.
70
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,614
You boys have done
a beautiful job
71
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:03,782
Putting these together.
72
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,250
- Thank you, ma.
Thanks.
73
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:09,254
- Do me a favor.
Don't sand them in here.
74
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:10,389
- Sand them?
75
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,790
- Of course.
76
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,759
You can't paint them
until you sand them.
77
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,628
- Paint them?
78
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,931
- I can't have
unfinished wood in my house.
79
00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:22,401
It doesn't go
with the decor.
80
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:25,337
- It's the laundry room!
81
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:29,708
This color will go very nice
with that orange box of tide.
82
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,376
- All right, all right,
look, ma,
83
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,811
I'm just going to put it
back here for now,
84
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,379
And we'll paint it
on Sunday.
85
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,782
- No, I have people
coming tomorrow.
86
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:40,686
Oh, you might as well
just drag it out to the trash.
87
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,524
- All right,
just call the guys,
88
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,492
And tell them
we'll meet them at the course.
89
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,561
- Really? I mean,
it's unbelievable!
90
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,331
- Of course it is!
91
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,433
- I'll be honest, marie.
Looking at those shelves,
92
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,001
I think lee's
going to win this one.
93
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,303
- What do you mean?
Win what?
94
00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,705
- Oh, lee's
all full of herself
95
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,573
'cause her son
built a special box
96
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:05,277
For her spoon collection.
97
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,546
- That has nothing
to do with anything.
98
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,414
- Give me a break.
99
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,883
That's why your mother wants to
drag lee into the laundry room.
100
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,319
So she can show her
what you two do for her.
101
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:17,489
- Ow!
102
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,558
- That's why we're
doing this, ma?
103
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,260
Because--'cause lee's son
has nothing better
104
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:25,330
To do all day
than to kiss his mom's behind?
105
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:28,033
- Have you seen
lee's behind?
106
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,770
It does take all day.
107
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,372
- And yet
we still felt bad,
108
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,040
Like what we were doing
wasn't good enough.
109
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,976
- Yeah, we always feel bad.
We fall for it every time!
110
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:41,046
The guilt.
Your guilt!
111
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:44,349
- If you feel guilty,
it's not because of me.
112
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,584
- Oh, yeah, right, ma.
113
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:46,618
And by the way,
where's the limp?
114
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,289
- Yeah!
115
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:56,762
- I feel very sad.
116
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,668
All this anger
against me
117
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,404
Because
of your precious golf.
118
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,373
- No, no! That's just the straw
that broke the camel's back!
119
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,441
You've been making us
feel guilty
120
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,909
About stuff
our whole lives,
121
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,011
And we're sick of it!
- Sick!
122
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:19,651
- Nothing is ever good enough,
and it's always our fault!
123
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,453
- Hey, you can't speak
to your mother like that!
124
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:25,657
- You do.
- She's not my mother!
125
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,460
- I'm sorry. Look,
the guilt trip, it's over!
126
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,695
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
127
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:30,962
And we're not moving that!
128
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,331
- That's right.
Amen, brother!
129
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,598
- Fine! Go!
130
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,667
Leave an old,
crippled woman
131
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:39,604
With unfinished shelves
and an uncaring husband!
132
00:05:46,946 --> 00:05:50,982
- Yesterday,
that would've worked.
133
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,499
- Okay, you guys
are number 16 in line.
134
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:08,900
I'll be back here
at 5:00 a.M.
135
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,569
- Okay.
136
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:14,539
Boy, 6 1/2 hours
sitting in a car.
137
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:18,977
This is great.
138
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,746
- Yeah, we went
through hell to get here,
139
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:22,114
But look at us now.
140
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,783
- Bethpage black, baby.
- Doughnuts and stuff.
141
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,017
- Hey,
you guys want to hear
142
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,152
About this dream
I had last night?
143
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,954
- Was it a sex dream?
- No.
144
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,856
- Then keep it
to yourself.
145
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,392
- Hey, hey, I had a sex dream.
- Oh, yeah?
146
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:36,061
- And you were there,
and you were there--
147
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,496
- Okay.
All right.
148
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,131
- He's a wacko!
149
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:40,932
- Hey, I saw a guy
outside the gate
150
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,634
Selling sausage and pepper.
Anybody in?
151
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,136
- Yeah, get me one.
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
152
00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:45,737
- I'll go with you.
I want to stretch my legs.
153
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,539
- What, so your feet
can touch the floor?
154
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:51,743
- Very funny.
155
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,412
You're out of my dream.
156
00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:00,519
- Oh.
157
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,526
Feeling bad
about ma?
158
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:12,030
- Yeah.
159
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,899
- Yeah, but we were right
to leave, right?
160
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,567
- Oh, yeah, definitely.
161
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,102
And I'm glad you were
there with me, cubby.
162
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,637
- Yeah.
No, no, we were good.
163
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,639
We stood up
for each other, you know?
164
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,073
We got to remember that
for the future.
165
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,708
- Yeah, it's true,
'cause, you know,
166
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,944
We usually let it
divide and conquer us,
167
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,479
But tonight,
it was you and me.
168
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:28,947
We had the power.
We beat her.
169
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,650
- Yeah. Yeah.
And she's tough to beat.
170
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,051
- Yeah, the guilt.
- Yeah.
171
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,720
She majored in guilt.
172
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,122
With a minor
in crazy.
173
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,928
- You know what?
I got a buddy on the force,
174
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,564
And his parents
just moved to california.
175
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,732
Sees them
twice a year, tops.
176
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:51,036
- Oh!
177
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:54,739
Oh, how great
would that be?
178
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,776
You know,
it would be like us...
179
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:01,480
America...
180
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:04,850
- Them.
- Mm.
181
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,885
- Hey, you know where
old people like to go?
182
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:10,121
Florida.
- Oh, yeah!
183
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,923
- Yes. How do we get 'em
to go there?
184
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,124
- Well,
next time it snows,
185
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,693
We show ma
pictures of florida
186
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,761
Right after dad
had her shovel the driveway.
187
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,630
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
188
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,232
And for dad,
we just tell him
189
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:24,102
That, uh, florida
just became underwear-optional.
190
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:28,907
Oh...How great
would that be?
191
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,675
Mom and dad
a whole plane ride away.
192
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,944
- Ahh...It's fun
to think about.
193
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,180
- Yeah.
194
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,815
Nah, who are we kidding?
195
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,517
They're not going
anywhere, are they?
196
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,519
- No. They're going
to be with us forever.
197
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,087
- Yep.
198
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:46,057
Well, until they,
you know...
199
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,292
- Yeah.
200
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,127
- Yeah, of course, dad--
201
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:52,531
There's a good chance
that he's not going to be...
202
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,633
yeah.
203
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,636
Yeah. That's true.
- Yeah.
204
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:01,106
- He may be headed south
after all.
205
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,110
- Uh, boy, you know,
but it's weird,
206
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,145
Just to picture ma, you know,
padding around the house
207
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,147
With no one to yell at.
208
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,749
- Well, you don't know
209
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:11,983
That dad's definitely
going to go first.
210
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,685
- Oh, come on,
did you see the way
211
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,053
He was wolfing down
that meatball sub tonight?
212
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,821
I mean, I don't exactly--
213
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:20,292
I don't exactly see him
blowing out a hundred candles.
214
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,164
- Yeah.
215
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,933
I guess at some point
down the road,
216
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,100
We'll have
to put mom
217
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,835
In a home
or something, you know?
218
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,271
- Yeah. Yeah, I-I guess
that's what they do, right?
219
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,739
- Yeah.
- But--but a nice one.
220
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,241
- Oh, yeah, yeah, no.
A good one.
221
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,809
- Yeah, not the kind
they investigate on the news.
222
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,911
- No.
223
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,913
Uh-uh, it's got to be
first-class, you know?
224
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,882
It's got to have flowers
and...
225
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:48,820
And a television. Yeah.
226
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,922
- Yeah, but you know what?
She still won't like it.
227
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,791
Even if it's
a nice old age home,
228
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,026
Ma, she'll still find something
to complain about.
229
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,628
- Yeah, true.
230
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:59,230
She'll probably try
to escape a lot...
231
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:02,067
Which I think
they charge you for.
232
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,040
Well, you know,
now that I think about it,
233
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:12,143
You and amy'll probably
take care of her.
234
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,783
- Wait a minute.
235
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:22,153
Why are you trying
to pawn her off on me?
236
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,888
- No, no.
It's just that...
237
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,190
You're going to move
238
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,858
Into that house
eventually anyway, right?
239
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,226
- Why do you
assume that?
240
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:31,196
- I just assumed that when--
when they go,
241
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,264
You'll get the house,
and then you'll...
242
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,866
You'll finally have a house.
243
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,302
- Oh, so now
I'm just a loser
244
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,372
Who can't buy my own house
or make his way in the world,
245
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,240
So I'll just move
back with mommy.
246
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,910
- Look, I'm just trying to think
of what is best for ma.
247
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,946
- Oh, well,
aren't you a saint?
248
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,247
- What?
249
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,016
- Of course,
I can't help but think
250
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,318
What would be best for ma
is for her to live out her days
251
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:57,722
In the place where she
already spends most of her time.
252
00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:00,892
- Uh, no! No.
- Why? Why?
253
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,293
Come on, raymond.
It's perfect.
254
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,729
I mean, one day she's over
at your house,
255
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:07,332
And then
she just doesn't leave.
256
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,067
- Uh-uh.
257
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,002
- Yeah, I can drop off
her toothbrush
258
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:15,173
And a gallon of jean nate,
and she'd be all set.
259
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,176
- No, listen, wait a minute.
- No, she's yours, raymond.
260
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,145
- No, she's not!
- All yours!
261
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:21,413
- She can't stay in my house,
okay?
262
00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:22,747
There's not enough room!
263
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,082
- Oh, come on,
264
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,083
You've got plenty
of room downstairs
265
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,451
In your office there.
266
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,986
You just put in a nice rug
267
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,954
And put up a big picture
of you and her together.
268
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,123
Oh, she'll be very happy.
269
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,259
- Okay,
so since you're too stubborn
270
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,427
To move into that house,
271
00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:37,829
Like we all know
is your destiny,
272
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,264
You're going to force
your own mother
273
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,865
To live in a basement,
huh?
274
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,901
A dark,
disgusting basement
275
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:47,138
With the rats
and the cockroaches.
276
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,741
- Raymond,
raymond, raymond.
277
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,309
Don't fight it.
278
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,144
Who do you think
she'd rather be with?
279
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,146
We all know
that you're the favorite.
280
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,082
And that, my friend...
281
00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,385
Is your destiny.
282
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,188
- You are out of your mind!
283
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,156
She loves us both equally.
284
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:11,096
- Yeah.
- Yeah, right! Okay!
285
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,797
All right. All right.
286
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:15,166
I'll tell you what.
Why don't we do this?
287
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,969
We'll put her in the middle
of the room, call her name,
288
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:21,439
And see who she comes to.
289
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:31,149
- Wait a minute, robert.
290
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:32,851
I-I don't think
291
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,086
You're taking every factor
into consideration.
292
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,321
You're forgetting
293
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:39,991
A very special
little lady named debra.
294
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,293
You think ma wants
to spend the rest of her life
295
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,997
Under the same roof
with her arch-nemesis?
296
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,968
Not likely.
297
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:54,472
But whose wife
does she love?
298
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:57,275
Whose wife does she just think
is the cat's bananas?
299
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,977
- Hey, look,
don't bring our wives--
300
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:03,815
- Yeah, that's right!
It's amy!
301
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,250
Precious little amy.
302
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,451
So you can put ma
in the middle of that room.
303
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,086
As soon as she gets
one look at amy,
304
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,487
She's going to come
scampering over to you,
305
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:12,123
Tongue out
and tail a-wagging!
306
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,996
- Damn it!
307
00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:51,863
- How about
we golf for it?
308
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:52,864
- What?
309
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,099
- Today.
18 holes.
310
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:58,570
Loser gets ma.
311
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,145
- What, are you kidding?
312
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,146
- What, are you chicken?
313
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,381
- No, no, I am not.
314
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,917
I was going to destroy you
anyway, so fine.
315
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:16,187
This'll be the icing
on my delicious victory pie.
316
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:20,091
- Yeah? We'll see who'll
be eating the delicious pie.
317
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,093
- Oh, you are going down!
318
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:25,330
- Oh, yeah? You're going down
to your basement,
319
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,999
So you can pretty it all up
for big mama.
320
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,602
- No, I don't think so.
321
00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:33,338
I don't think so. No.
- I do, I do.
322
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,572
- I beat you pretty good
the last time, pal.
323
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:35,974
- Yeah, right,
and I beat you
324
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,175
The last three times
before that.
325
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,409
- Yeah, well,
just so you know,
326
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,178
I've been practicing
my putting
327
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,013
While debra thinks
I'm reading to the kids, okay?
328
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:45,216
So--so just get ready,
man.
329
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,318
"oh, robbie,
it's too cold in the house.
330
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,120
"robbie, it's too hot
in the house.
331
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:53,658
Robbie, I hope you're making
a baby in there."
332
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,326
Yeah! Yeah!
333
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,929
That's right.
That is correct.
334
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:01,599
She is going to be with you
till the day she dies.
335
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:11,342
- Okay, how about this?
336
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:15,146
- Forget about it.
Forget about it.
337
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,681
- What?
338
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,683
- Just--I don't want
to talk about it anymore.
339
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,552
- What do you mean?
340
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:25,256
- Nothing. It's just...
341
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:29,694
You know, one day
she's really going to...
342
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:33,131
You know.
343
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,399
- Well, yeah.
344
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:38,069
I mean...
345
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,541
Yeah.
346
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,213
- I'll take her.
347
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,481
- What?
348
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,685
- I'll take her.
I want to take mom.
349
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:55,720
- W-what do you mean
you're going to take her? I--
350
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,956
- What? You don't have
to worry about it.
351
00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,424
- What are you saying?
352
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:00,692
I mean, you just changed
your mind
353
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,193
Just like that?
354
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,728
- You just said
that you don't want her.
355
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:07,098
- Well, maybe
I changed my mind.
356
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,001
Maybe--maybe--
maybe I want her back now.
357
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,469
- It's too late.
I called it!
358
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,237
- No, no, you can't call it,
raymond.
359
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,406
I want her.
I really do.
360
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,441
And all those things
I said before
361
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,176
Were just to annoy you.
362
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,278
Besides, I'm going to move
back in that house.
363
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,579
- That doesn't even matter!
364
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,581
- She's better off with me!
- No!
365
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,216
- I'm tall and strong,
366
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,552
And I can carry her
up to her bed on my back!
367
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:30,254
- So? I would be
a better provider for her
368
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:31,456
Than you would.
- Oh, why?
369
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,024
Because you make
more money than me, huh?
370
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,025
You're going to throw that
in my face?
371
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:35,360
- No, I'm just saying
372
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,596
That when it comes
to money, I have more.
373
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,098
- Okay.
374
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,699
Okay, you know what?
375
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,203
We're going to golf for it,
but the other way.
376
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,105
Winner gets ma.
377
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:50,108
- Oh, fine, fine! Bring it on!
- Oh, I'm going to bring it!
378
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,476
- All right, well,
keep your receipt
379
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:52,677
'cause you're going
to return it!
380
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,746
- You keep the receipt!
- Yeah, I will!
381
00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:56,280
We don't even
have to do this!
382
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,348
Because it's
like you said before,
383
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:00,284
Ma loves me more!
384
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:09,060
- Well, you know what?
385
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,429
She can love you
all she wants
386
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:15,466
Because I love her...
387
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:19,037
More than you do.
388
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:22,640
- What?
- You heard me.
389
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,276
I love mom more.
390
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:30,248
- Are you insane?
391
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,582
- Deep down inside,
raymond,
392
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,185
You know it's true.
393
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:37,555
- Are you saying
that I don't love my mother?
394
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:41,259
- Not as much as me.
395
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,460
You take her for granted.
396
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,162
But me?
397
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:48,166
I cherish every ounce
of affection that woman gives me
398
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,301
Because I have
to fight for it
399
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:53,771
Like a dirty dog
in the street.
400
00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:57,675
But you?
401
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,211
You don't even have
to try.
402
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:04,382
She makes it
so easy for you.
403
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,785
You're just a fat kid
sitting with his mouth open
404
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:11,456
At the end
of a chocolate assembly line.
405
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:28,139
You disgust me.
406
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:35,113
I'm getting ma.
407
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,347
- You're not getting ma.
408
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,349
- Don't push me!
409
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:39,584
Ow!
410
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:43,287
- Get away! Get away!
Get out!
411
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,164
- Where are you going, huh?
- Aah!
412
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,566
Get off me!
- Come here!
413
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,869
- You leave me alone!
Ahh!
414
00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,370
- Come here, you!
- You started it!
415
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:02,440
you started it!
416
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,311
- Get out of here!
- Come here!
417
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,579
- Whoa!
418
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:09,680
- Come here.
Come here.
419
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,382
- Robert, stop!
- Here!
420
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,717
- Eat it! Eat it!
- No! Stop!
421
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,853
Stop!
Truce! Truce!
422
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,756
- All right!
- Truce!
423
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,224
Truce! Truce!
424
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,492
- All right, truce.
425
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,860
- Truce! Truce!
- Truce.
426
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,696
- Truce, truce.
No truce! No truce!
427
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:26,831
No truce!
428
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,501
- Aah! Aah!
429
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,439
- Enough now!
- Enough!
430
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:36,574
- Okay.
- Truce!
431
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:37,808
- Truce.
- Truce!
432
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,911
- For real,
for real truce!
433
00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:42,647
Enough, enough.
434
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:46,350
Truce.
435
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:54,559
- Why do you always
got to do the nipple?
436
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:59,664
- My nostril
is jellied shut.
437
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,434
Truce.
438
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,770
- Truce.
Truce.
439
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:09,440
- Truce.
440
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,713
- Man, these sausages
smell good.
441
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,583
- You guys owe me
three bucks each.
442
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:22,653
Okay, here's your--
443
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:26,390
- This was exactly
like my dream.
444
00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:36,801
- Oh, hey! Here they are!
- Hey.
445
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,536
- What happened?
446
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:42,607
- Uh, he--he hit a couple
of really bad shots, yeah.
447
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:45,576
- It's 8:00.
How long was golf?
448
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,345
- Well, we did something
after golf.
449
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:50,982
Yeah, come on.
- All right.
450
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:55,620
here we go.
Pick it up, pick it up.
451
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:58,422
- Oh!
- Here you go, ma.
452
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,725
- Oh, my goodness!
- Yeah. Listen, ma.
453
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,560
We're sorry, okay?
454
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:03,628
We shouldn't
have yelled at you.
455
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,396
- Yeah, we felt bad
all day.
456
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:06,897
- Oh, you shouldn't have.
457
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,567
You're the best sons
any mother could hope for.
458
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:17,275
- Why do I suddenly
want jelly doughnuts?
459
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,679
- Oh, these shelves
are so beautiful.
460
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:22,880
And flowers.
461
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:24,649
- Glad you like 'em, mom.
462
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,684
Sorry they weren't ready in time
for lee and stan though.
463
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,386
- Oh, that doesn't matter.
464
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,788
Come on, you're going
to carry these shelves
465
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,759
Over to lee's house
right now.
466
00:21:37,729 --> 00:21:39,030
- Okay.
467
00:21:39,032 --> 00:21:40,531
- All right, ma.
468
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,066
- Pick it up, pick it up.
- I got it.
469
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:44,435
- Oh, by the way, deb,
I beat robert at golf today.
470
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,470
So when dad dies,
mom's going to live with us.
33122
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