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1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,169
- No, now here's
the sweetest thing.
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,704
Every night
since our wedding,
3
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,306
Robert gives me
a little massage.
4
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,208
- Oh, wow.
You are so lucky.
5
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,776
- Yeah.
6
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,578
Although he kind of
doesn't know his own strength,
7
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,213
And sometimes
when he squeezes,
8
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:18,550
I feel like
I'm being juiced.
9
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,252
But it's very thoughtful.
10
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,354
- Can't you just tell him
to lighten up a little?
11
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,789
- I don't have the heart.
12
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:26,091
Plus I usually black out
before I can say anything.
13
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,529
- My bernie does
cute things too.
14
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,032
You know, like, every night
he shuffles in
15
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,199
In his pajamas.
16
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,568
He kneels by the bed
and prays.
17
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,203
- Aw.
18
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,672
- You know, when ray
kneels by the bed,
19
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,808
It's not so much praying
as begging.
20
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:51,183
No, you know what?
Ray is pretty sweet himself.
21
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,318
The other night,
when I woke up,
22
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,421
He was whimpering
in his sleep.
23
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:56,722
- Really?
- Yeah.
24
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,691
And then he said,
"choo-choo gone."
25
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,261
Aww...
26
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:05,497
- "choo-choo gone."
how adorable is that?
27
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,232
- You know, he woke up,
and he was really embarrassed,
28
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,201
But he told me
he was having a dream
29
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,170
That he was in the park
with his mommy,
30
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:14,339
And the kiddy train left
before he got on.
31
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,108
- Ohh.
- I know.
32
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:17,376
- I am such a sucker
33
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,078
For that little boy thing
in men.
34
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,814
It's so endearing.
35
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:25,184
- Where's marie?
I lost my shoe.
36
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,730
- Come on, robert.
37
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,532
You didn't play that bad,
all right?
38
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:44,736
I was just awesome.
39
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:48,574
- Thanks. You always know
just what to say.
40
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,142
- What are you worried about?
It's not like anybody saw you.
41
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,244
You were in the woods
the whole time.
42
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,651
- All right, so you just
invited me in to insult me?
43
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,553
Is that it?
- Yes.
44
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,890
And to offer you
a mixed berry juice box.
45
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,759
- Hmm.
I do like mixed berry.
46
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,129
- Here, I'll put
the straw in for you.
47
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,832
I know you won't be able to get
it anywhere near the hole.
48
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:17,169
- I can do it myself!
49
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,440
Good-bye!
50
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,642
- Why are you being
such a baby?
51
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,910
- Baby?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,279
- I'm a baby?
53
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,849
Baby knows three words,
"choo-choo gone."
54
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:38,390
- What?
55
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:41,160
- Nothing.
56
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,261
Ahh!
57
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,172
- Hey.
How was your golf?
58
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:55,474
- W-w-what'd you do?
You told robert my dream?
59
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,742
- What?
60
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:59,244
- My train dream.
"choo-choo gone."
61
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,946
- No, I didn't tell
robert that.
62
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,614
Oh, amy.
63
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,883
- You told amy?
64
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,619
- Well, you know, I just thought
it was sweet, and so did she.
65
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,321
And I didn't think
she would tell robert.
66
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,956
- No, it's not sweet.
It's personal.
67
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,491
- I'm sorry,
I'll tell amy
68
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,193
To keep those kind of things
between us.
69
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,928
- Wha--
no! No!
70
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:18,530
How 'bout you
just keep them between us?
71
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,833
Wait a minute, what things?
She knows other of my things?
72
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,836
- Ray, just calm down.
73
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,471
- What else
does she know? Huh?
74
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:27,906
Does she know
you saw me that time,
75
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:31,610
Shaving
with your pink lady razor?
76
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,212
- I don't know.
77
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:34,379
- Come on, come on, think.
Did you tell her?
78
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,714
- Ray, this is crazy.
79
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,649
What, do you
expect me to remember
80
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,652
Everything I've ever told amy
about you over the years?
81
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,555
- Years?
82
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,857
You've been doing this
to me for years?
83
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,560
- Okay, I realize
you're upset,
84
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,362
And I will try
to be more sensitive,
85
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,764
But I do talk to amy
about my life.
86
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,734
And I'm sorry, but you happen
to be a big part of my life.
87
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,303
- Well, I'm sorry
you and the other hens
88
00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,738
Don't have
anything better to do
89
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,540
Than to--than to cluck
around the henhouse
90
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,710
Like a gaggle
of cluckety-clucking hens!
91
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,348
- We're not clucking, ray.
92
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:12,317
We're sharing
our feelings.
93
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,819
- Oh, my god.
94
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:18,290
You tell her
about our sex!
95
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:21,460
- Look, ray, listen.
I don't...
96
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,661
She's my best friend.
97
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,730
- Dump her!
98
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,365
- What?
- You have to dump her.
99
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,500
She knows too much,
thanks to your gossip.
100
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:32,704
Yes, that's right.
You're a gossip.
101
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:36,942
- What are you doing?
102
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,644
- I'm going upstairs
to take a shower,
103
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,879
And I would rather
amy didn't know what I wash
104
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,949
Or how long I wash it!
105
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,992
- hey.
106
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,560
Oh, game's already on?
107
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,830
- Yeah, yeah,
it just started.
108
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,666
- Uh, say there, dad,
109
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:04,069
How 'bout passing me
some of those tasty chips?
110
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:07,072
- Why, certainly, son.
Here you go.
111
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,319
- Hey, animals, can you at least
eat with your mouth shut?
112
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,354
- Oh, I'm sorry.
What's the matter?
113
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:25,824
Don't you like
the way we choo-choo?
114
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:35,367
- Choo-choo.
Choo-choo gone!
115
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,603
We got him totally worked.
116
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,806
- Yeah, ha-ha.
Very funny.
117
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,407
Yeah, you wouldn't
be laughing
118
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,343
If you knew what the dream
was really about.
119
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:45,844
- Yeah, right.
- Trust me.
120
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,946
I didn't tell debra
the exact truth.
121
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,782
- Oh, yeah?
- What was it?
122
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,851
- Okay.
All right.
123
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,355
Remember ellen chulesky
from high school?
124
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:58,090
- Oh, yeah.
125
00:05:58,092 --> 00:06:01,426
She was a woman among girls.
- Yeah.
126
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,828
Well, in my class,
127
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:06,465
We used to call her
choo-choo chulesky.
128
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,501
So anyway, in the dream,
it was no kiddy train.
129
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:13,572
It was just me
and choo-choo.
130
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:18,577
All aboard!
131
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,380
Ooh.
132
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,749
- So then what does
"choo-choo gone" mean?
133
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:26,451
- Well, she had her way
with me and left.
134
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:29,521
So "choo-choo" was gone.
135
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,957
Anyway, then I had to make up
the whole train thing
136
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,158
'cause the wife was there.
137
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:37,596
- Ah, they're always there.
138
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,498
- I didn't know debra
was going to go blabbing it.
139
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,966
I don't get it.
140
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,434
She has nothing better to do
141
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,870
Than to talk
about my personal life?
142
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,439
- Raymond, raymond, raymond.
143
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,142
See, that just
shows the surprising naivete
144
00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:51,410
On your part.
145
00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:52,778
For, you see,
146
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,913
It is always
the nature of the female
147
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,016
To gather
with other females--
148
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:03,789
- And screech like a tree
full of chinese monkeys.
149
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,991
- Yeah, well...
150
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,626
I don't do it to her.
151
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,060
I don't go around
telling everybody
152
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,163
That debra burps
all the time.
153
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,532
- Debra burps?
154
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:16,802
- Yeah, sometimes
she gets a nervous stomach.
155
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:20,105
It rocks the house.
156
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,441
- Really?
Little debra?
157
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:23,809
- Oh, yeah.
158
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,745
One time, I saw her burp
a door open.
159
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,485
- Hey. Hey.
160
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,020
You know what amy does?
161
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,054
- What?
162
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,691
- Okay.
163
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,861
Sometimes
when she laughs...
164
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:46,131
She pees a little.
165
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,537
- What do you--?
166
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:55,707
You mean,
she pees when she laughs?
167
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,075
Yeah, well,
a chuckle won't do it,
168
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,643
But if you
really crack her up,
169
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,912
You might want to put
some papers down.
170
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,815
- Oh, man!
171
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,250
Our wives
are disgusting.
172
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,651
- Yeah.
173
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,153
- Aw, they all
got their secrets.
174
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,521
Do you want to know a good one
about your mother?
175
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,723
No, no, no.
176
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,258
- Don't want to hear it.
177
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:17,529
- You know your mother's famous
homemade marinara sauce?
178
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,097
On more than one occasion...
179
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,700
store-bought.
180
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,236
- No!
- No! No way!
181
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:26,204
Uh-uh.
- Yes. When she's in a rush,
182
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:30,809
Out of the jar,
my friends.
183
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,210
- This is huge!
184
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,946
- Oh, man!
185
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,916
So it's homemade if you live
in aisle six at waldbaum's.
186
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,217
- Yeah, there you go.
187
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,786
Hey, look,
you know what else amy does?
188
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:44,122
- Hang on, let me
turn this thing off.
189
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,590
- You know what?
190
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,994
I'm going to make us
a pot of coffee.
191
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:52,030
- This is great.
192
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,678
- Listen, ray, you know,
I've been thinking a lot
193
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,580
About what you said
yesterday,
194
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,715
And I really am sorry.
195
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,284
I think
you have a good point.
196
00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:15,654
Some things are private
and should just stay that way.
197
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,088
- Thank you.
198
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,957
Apology accepted.
- Okay.
199
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,960
Good night.
- Night.
200
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,304
Guess who pees
when she laughs.
201
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:39,678
- Got to tell you, that's
your worst come-on line ever.
202
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,346
- I'll give you
a clue.
203
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,783
First letter, "a,"
last letter, "y,"
204
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,885
And don't ask me
the middle letter,
205
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:50,755
Because I "m" not going
to tell you.
206
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:51,990
- No.
- It's amy.
207
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,192
she does?
208
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,828
- Robert said that if you get
her laughing hard enough,
209
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,364
80% chance
of flash flooding.
210
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:04,302
- We have been friends
for years.
211
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,804
Why didn't I know that?
212
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:09,874
- Maybe you're not funny.
213
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,676
- So wait a minute.
214
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,878
You and robert
were gossiping?
215
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,380
- Yeah,
and my father too.
216
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,248
You want to know something
about my mother?
217
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,390
Look at you.
218
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,392
I've never seen you
this excited in bed.
219
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:33,298
- Shut up and tell me
about your mother.
220
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,833
- Okay.
221
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,302
You know her, uh,
famous homemade sauce?
222
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,837
- Yeah?
223
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,405
- You want to know
the secret ingredient?
224
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:42,073
- Okay.
225
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,075
- Gasoline...
226
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:47,779
Which she puts in her car
to drive to waldbaum's
227
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:51,383
To go to aisle six
to pick up a jar of ragu!
228
00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:52,417
- No way!
229
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,685
- Yeah!
230
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,389
Wow!
231
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,424
- Hon, look...
232
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:02,694
I know it's a little early,
but happy anniversary.
233
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,401
Oh, so your mother's
a cheater.
234
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:11,169
- Mm-hmm, yeah,
she sure is.
235
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,338
- Wait a minute.
236
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,707
If that's what those guys
were saying about their wives,
237
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:19,177
What did you say
about me?
238
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,212
- Nothing, I just...
239
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:24,749
I-I told them
that when you sleep,
240
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:29,020
Sometimes you wiggle your nose
like a little bunny.
241
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,289
- I do that?
- Yeah, yeah.
242
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,124
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
243
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,826
Yeah, it's cuter on you
though.
244
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:37,028
- Oh...I can't believe
you told them that.
245
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,763
- Yeah.
- What did they say?
246
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:42,133
- They...I think
they said, "aww."
247
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,769
Aww!
248
00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:46,838
- Yeah.
It was cute.
249
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,841
- Ooh!
250
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,444
- You sure?
251
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,713
- I'm telling you,
for apple pie, 21 seconds.
252
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:55,814
You'll be very happy.
253
00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,306
- What's going on?
254
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:24,109
- Just...Heating up pie.
255
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,214
- I'll have some,
but wash your hands first.
256
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,185
- What's up with you?
257
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,287
- You guys got to get
your wives out of my house.
258
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,190
They're over there looking
at furniture catalogs.
259
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,792
I told marie,
"at your age,
260
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:41,993
"you shouldn't be looking
at any furniture
261
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,130
Unless it has a lid."
262
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:55,240
- Choo-choo chulesky?
263
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,308
- What?
264
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,345
- Who is
choo-choo chulesky?
265
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:04,282
- Ray, you better get back
into your microwave position.
266
00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:11,523
- Look, debra...
It's not what you think.
267
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:13,158
- Oh, I think you were dreaming
about another woman,
268
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,193
And you told me
a choo-choo train story.
269
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:16,995
- No...
270
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,864
You couldn't keep your
giant mouth shut, could you?
271
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,369
- I didn't say anything,
robert, I swear.
272
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,138
- Well, someone opened
their giant mouth.
273
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,475
- I did.
274
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,511
- Well, I'm sure you had
your reasons.
275
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,249
- Mom?
276
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:41,820
- Your father told me
about your little fantasy,
277
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,489
And I felt I'd be remiss
if I didn't tell debra
278
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,826
That her marriage
was in peril.
279
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,562
- Dad, why would you
tell mom?
280
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,931
- I was proud of you.
281
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,500
You dream like a man.
282
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,968
- Yeah, well,
that's great, ray.
283
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,102
I'm going around
telling everybody
284
00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,537
What a sweet little boy
you are,
285
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,972
And you're dreaming
about another woman.
286
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,373
Thanks a lot, ray.
287
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,942
Thanks for making me look
like a total jerk!
288
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:07,478
- Wait, I made it up,
I made it up!
289
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,149
Choo-choo
really was a train.
290
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:14,152
- So what are you saying?
You lied to them?
291
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:18,323
- And here I was
finally proud of you.
292
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,158
- You are unbelievable,
ray.
293
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,227
- No, you know what?
You're unbelievable.
294
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,628
You took something
that was private,
295
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,530
And you blabbed it
all over town!
296
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,165
- Oh, yeah?
Well, you were
297
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,600
A pretty good blabbermouth
yourself last night.
298
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:31,135
"hey, guess who pees
when she laughs."
299
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,046
- Guess who was right there
with me, laughing it up.
300
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,616
"oh! Amy pees!
Ha-ha, that's so funny!"
301
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:47,986
Yeah.
302
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:53,458
- Robert.
303
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:59,130
- I love you.
304
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,465
Amy. Amy.
305
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:01,633
Amy, listen,
I'm sorry.
306
00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:05,370
Sweetie, come on,
look at me.
307
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,439
We were all talking.
Everyone was doing it!
308
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:12,977
Debra belches
like a truck driver,
309
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,213
And ma uses ragu!
310
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:18,049
- Frank!
311
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,584
- Ray!
312
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,053
That's what you told them
about me, that I burp?
313
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,022
You just made up
that cute little nose thing?
314
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,590
- I didn't make it up.
Look, there it is. There it is.
315
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,225
Ow!
316
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,593
- Oh, all right!
All right!
317
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,929
A lot of things
have been said,
318
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,530
And I have no problem
facing the truth,
319
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:36,234
However painful
it might be.
320
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,503
Now, about my sauce,
321
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:41,239
Frank, tell them
you're a liar.
322
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,478
- What?
323
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,014
- Do you ever want
to eat again?
324
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,050
- I lied.
325
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,686
I'm a crazy old man
who lies.
326
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:00,358
- Good.
327
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,460
And I'm glad
that you could admit that.
328
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,096
And you should all know better
than to engage in idle gossip.
329
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,397
- What are you
talking about?
330
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,465
You're the one
who blabbed it to debra
331
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,599
About choo-choo chulesky.
332
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,134
- I do not blab!
333
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:14,472
What I do
comes from love.
334
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,740
And if you want to know
the truth,
335
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:17,542
Debra is the worst gossip
of us all.
336
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,544
- Me? You're the one
who once told me
337
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,146
That frank came to bed
with a toupee on for you.
338
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:26,451
- What?
339
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,720
- This is an outrage,
marie.
340
00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:32,123
That was a hat
I found on the street.
341
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,558
- Oh, really?
342
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,161
And what about what debra
told amy last July?
343
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,396
- What?
344
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,465
- Debra told amy
that raymond thought
345
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,066
That amy
and robert's marriage
346
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,601
Didn't have
a chance in hell.
347
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,370
- Marie,
who told you that?
348
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,238
- Marie, I told you that
in confidence!
349
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,240
- Amy, how could you tell marie
that I said that?
350
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,075
- Debra, how could you tell amy
what I told you?
351
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:54,645
- My marriage doesn't have
a chance in hell?
352
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:11,796
Excuse me.
353
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,464
- I didn't say
your marriage
354
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:16,334
Doesn't have
a chance in hell...
355
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:20,204
The way that sounds.
356
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,672
All right, look.
357
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,608
There are certain things
that a man says to his wife
358
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,576
When he's just trying to,
I don't know,
359
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:28,613
Fill the silence.
360
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:33,351
- Oh...
Now I understand.
361
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,154
You're a hateful jerk-face.
362
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,456
And what I mean
by that is,
363
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:42,060
You're hateful,
and you're a jerk-face.
364
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,661
- Why did you have
to tell amy that?
365
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,431
- I was just talking to amy
about the stupid things men say.
366
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,132
We all do it.
367
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,101
Amy knew what I meant.
She was okay with it.
368
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,469
You were okay
with it, right?
369
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,738
- Actually,
I was pretty upset.
370
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:58,242
- That's why
she came to me.
371
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,610
- Okay, see?
She was upset.
372
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,145
- Yeah, but you're
the one who said it.
373
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,780
- Yeah, b--
374
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,483
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
375
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,085
You've been walking
around,
376
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,453
Secretly thinking
I'm a hateful jerk-face
377
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,755
But still acting
all fake nice to me?
378
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:14,559
- I haven't been
that nice.
379
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,127
A few months ago,
you got a haircut,
380
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,728
And everybody said,
"nice haircut, ray,"
381
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,798
But I didn't.
382
00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:24,335
- How could you
do that to me?
383
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:25,436
I mean,
that's terrible.
384
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,205
- You hurt my feelings.
385
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,440
- Still, you think somebody's
a hateful jerk-face,
386
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,741
You got to tell 'em.
387
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,243
I have feelings too.
388
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:35,113
- Hateful jerk-face.
Feel better?
389
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,548
- You see? You made me
a hateful jerk-face.
390
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,283
- You know, amy,
ray's right.
391
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,785
How am I supposed to know
I upset you if you don't
392
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,420
Say anything to me?
I mean, come on.
393
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:43,888
I'm supposed to be
your best friend.
394
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,524
- What about me?
I'm supposed to be her husband!
395
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,825
I'm your husband!
396
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,393
Don't you know,
after all these years,
397
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,596
To tell me immediately
when raymond screws up?
398
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:56,834
You page me at work!
399
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,203
- I must say, amy,
before you came into the family,
400
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,838
We were all just open
with each other.
401
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,242
We'd say whatever
was on our mind.
402
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,576
And now...
403
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,679
We have to tiptoe
around your feelings.
404
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,450
- It's not fair, amy.
405
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,887
- Yeah, amy,
see what you did?
406
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,860
- Ah, jeez.
There she goes again.
407
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,300
- Robert, get in there.
408
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:33,804
- I don't know
what I did wrong.
409
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,640
I was brought up
to be nice.
410
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,910
I never say anything bad
about anybody.
411
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:42,413
What do you people want?
412
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,416
All I ever wanted to do
was to fit into this family.
413
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,620
- Oh, honey.
414
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:52,190
You do fit in.
415
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:56,761
- I hate to say it,
amy, but you do.
416
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,895
- Yeah, I'm sorry
about all that stuff
417
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,397
I said
about you and robert.
418
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,433
You definitely have
a chance in hell.
419
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,634
- Thank you, ray.
420
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,269
And that was
a nice haircut.
421
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:08,573
- Thanks.
I switched barbers.
422
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,841
- Aw, you see, amy?
423
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,444
You do have a place
in our family,
424
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:16,847
And we will always have
a place for you.
425
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:20,785
- Here you go,
sweetie.
426
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:29,260
- Robert,
I have to speak up.
427
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,363
You're killing me.
428
00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,804
- Women.
They're never satisfied.
429
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,014
- Ah.
430
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,316
- Are you ready?
431
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,551
Oh, frank, come on!
432
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,986
No, don't turn around now.
433
00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:57,588
It's not embarrassing.
It's funny.
30350
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