All language subtitles for Everybody.Loves.Raymond.S08E13.Whose.Side.Are.You.On.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BS-ing

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:02,634 - Hey, guys. Daddy's pulling in. 2 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:05,504 Hurry up and finish your meatloaf. 3 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,538 - I like your new haircut, mommy. 4 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,740 - Oh, thank you, honey. 5 00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:09,475 - Do you think daddy will notice? 6 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,243 - I don't know. You want to bet? 7 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,511 - Yeah! - Yeah, sure. 8 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,546 - Okay, which side you want to take? 9 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,348 - I bet he won't notice. 10 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:19,018 - I was going to take that one! 11 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,420 Okay, he's coming. Hurry up. Quiet. 12 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:26,258 - Hey, gladys knight and the pips. 13 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,294 - Hi, honey. - Hi, daddy. 14 00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:32,197 - Hmm. Where's the mail? 15 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:36,568 - It's right behind you. 16 00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,041 Hi. 17 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,475 - Hey. Hmm. 18 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,044 What's up? 19 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,046 - Nothing. 20 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:54,353 - Looks like somebody had a glass of wine. 21 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,488 - No, no. 22 00:00:56,490 --> 00:01:00,059 - So what? What are you doing? 23 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,428 - Nothing. Just... 24 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:06,598 Looking at you. 25 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,435 - You're drunk. 26 00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:10,803 Look at this. Look at that. 27 00:01:10,805 --> 00:01:13,338 They spelled "ncaa" with three "a"s. 28 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,840 How did they not catch that? 29 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,109 - Ta-da! 30 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:21,246 - What? What's so funny? 31 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:24,183 - We bet mommy you wouldn't notice her haircut, and we win. 32 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:28,153 - What did you think I was doing, checking for lice? 33 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:30,456 - No, no. Listen, I noticed it. 34 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,091 I'm just-- 35 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,425 No, it looks good. It looks good. 36 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,728 It totally complements your...Head, yeah. 37 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,233 - Daddy, you didn't notice my haircut either. 38 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:44,570 - I--no, I did, I did. It's totally different. 39 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,738 - I didn't get a haircut. 40 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,844 - Nice one. 41 00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:53,745 very funny. 42 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,581 You know, ally, you shouldn't do that, okay. 43 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,349 'cause one day you're going to want me to notice, 44 00:01:57,351 --> 00:02:00,252 And--and now you're the girl who cried haircut. 45 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,593 Hey, guys. 46 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,528 - Daddy, can you help me with my homework? 47 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:12,731 - Yeah, yeah, forget that. Listen. Listen. 48 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:16,468 I thought of a funny bet that we can do to mommy, okay? 49 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,203 We'll turn on the tv, and then we'll bet 50 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,772 How long it takes her to say, "turn it off." 51 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,145 - But I don't get it. 52 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,913 - Yeah, mommy's bets are funny. 53 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,815 - Well, this is funny. This-- 54 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,783 Wait a minute. 55 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:35,888 Does--does mommy do other bets besides the haircut one? 56 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,158 - Yeah. 57 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,559 - Like what? 58 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,227 - Well, sometimes when you call 59 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,829 To say what time you'll be home from work, 60 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:47,332 She bets us what time you'll really be home. 61 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,904 - It's funny 'cause you're always so late. 62 00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:57,242 - yeah. Yeah, that is funny, yeah. 63 00:02:57,244 --> 00:03:00,345 What else? 64 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,515 - She bets us what you'll forget at the grocery store. 65 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:09,221 - And if you did the laundry. 66 00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:12,491 - And how long you'll take in the bathroom. 67 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,564 - I always say, "infinity." 68 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,672 - Hey, no tv during homework. 69 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,674 - I win! I win the bet! 70 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,943 I win the-- ho, ho, mommy! 71 00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:33,679 Whoo, that was hilarious, huh? Up high! 72 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,281 Yeah! That was funny. 73 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:37,649 - What are you doing? 74 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:38,951 - Oh, nothing. I just-- 75 00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:40,385 I bet that you would say "turn the tv off," 76 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,589 And you did! So predictable! Whoa! 77 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:47,392 Man, that was classic, right? 78 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,927 - Wait, I don't understand. 79 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,964 You'd bet that I'd be a responsible parent? 80 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,501 - What's so funny? 81 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,538 - Not daddy. 82 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,306 - What? No. 83 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,375 I always thought that raymond's sense 84 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,577 Of humor was wonderful. 85 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,247 Here, raymond. I brought you this cake. 86 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,782 - Half is for me and amy. 87 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,485 - Robbie, I said I'd bring it over to you. 88 00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:17,422 - I'll supervise the cutting, thank you. 89 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,424 - Hey, this is cool, this is cool. 90 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,627 I'll bet half of grandma's cake 91 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:25,564 Is still better than a whole one of mommy's. 92 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:28,867 - Excuse me? 93 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:34,406 - Raymond, that's not nice to say out loud. 94 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,408 - No. No, no, it's fine, ma. 95 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,876 We're just making funny bets, you know? 96 00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,679 Okay, so who wants to bet that mommy's cake 97 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:44,316 Probably isn't as delightful as it should be? 98 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:47,052 - Kids, you want to finish your homework upstairs, please? 99 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,688 - Yeah, okay, go upstairs. 100 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,523 You wouldn't want a bedtime snack 101 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,792 'cause all we got is mommy food. 102 00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:57,729 - Ray, what is your problem? 103 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,865 - Yeah, what's going on? - I'll tell you what's going on. 104 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,901 She bets the kids that I'll do stupid stuff. 105 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:10,075 - Are the betting windows still open? 106 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,379 - I don't understand. 107 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,682 What are these bets? 108 00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,617 - No, they're just jokes. 109 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,787 You know, like we bet whether ray would notice my new haircut, 110 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,488 Which he didn't. 111 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,458 - Well, maybe he was just being polite. 112 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,826 - Yeah, yeah. Maybe your haircut's junky. 113 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,328 - All right, now, you listen to me. 114 00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,729 - I'll bet I won't. 115 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,698 - I don't know what has gotten into you-- 116 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:33,765 - What do you mean, you don't know what's gotten into me? 117 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,802 - Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! 118 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:40,806 I made cake... 119 00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,841 And before another cross word is said, 120 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,744 Why don't we just all sit down and have some? 121 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,680 It's my world-famous chocolate layer cake. 122 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,515 Oh-- 123 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:54,586 Frank. 124 00:05:54,588 --> 00:06:00,392 Look. You can see the imprint of his face. 125 00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,829 - That's your half. 126 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,798 - Ray, I don't understand why you're so upset. 127 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,834 You're always making jokes about me. 128 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,402 - Yeah, yeah. Yes, I am-- 129 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:13,138 To my friends, not impressionable children. 130 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:16,475 - Take another look at your friends. 131 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,843 - You-- 132 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,479 Your bets are turning the kids against me. 133 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:23,048 - What? Ray, we're just having some fun. 134 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,884 - No, you're poisoning their minds! 135 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,487 Those kids, they used to think that I was superman! 136 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,722 I'd come home every night, and they'd run up to me, 137 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,524 "yay! Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" 138 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,627 But now they don't because you're home all day 139 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:40,065 Painting me to them as some big, dumb doof! 140 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:43,769 - Don't ever quit painting, debra. 141 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,137 - Okay, ray. 142 00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:47,038 If the bets bother you, I can certainly stop. 143 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,640 - Good. - Fine. 144 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:49,975 But there is another solution. 145 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,444 You want them to think you're superman? 146 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,913 - I am! I am like superman! 147 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,415 - I'm not talking about 148 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:59,184 Just walking around in your underwear. 149 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:02,788 walking in the underwear! 150 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:05,657 Would superman have called me tonight 151 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,192 To say he's running late at work, 152 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,161 Even though I could hear gianni's playstation 153 00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:10,962 In the background? 154 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:16,001 - Look, up in the sky! It's "bad husband"! 155 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,035 That's right. 156 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,804 - Debra. 157 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:24,209 May I say something as an impartial observer? 158 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,645 Wouldn't your time be better spent 159 00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:29,014 Talking things out with raymond 160 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:33,952 Instead of turning your children into gamblers? 161 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,656 - Marie, I try to talk to raymond all the time, 162 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,957 But he doesn't listen. 163 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,092 You don't know how bad it can get. 164 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,995 - There's a chocolate-covered old man 165 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,898 Sitting on my good couch, 166 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,501 And I don't know how bad it can get? 167 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,836 - Yeah. 168 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:53,705 - This is a good husband. 169 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:54,873 And anytime you want to trade places, 170 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,775 Just say the word. - Yeah. 171 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,544 - I mean, if I were 40 years younger and he wasn't my son-- 172 00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:04,115 - Okay, ma. All right, all right. 173 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,218 - And raymond is also an excellent father. 174 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:08,653 Which frank, I can assure you, was not. 175 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,122 I spent most of my time shielding these boys 176 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,925 From his bad moods. - That's right. 177 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,660 That's right, every night mom would secretly tell us 178 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,964 How bad a mood dad was in on a scale of one to five. 179 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,131 - Yeah, yeah, I remember. 180 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,933 "one" meant regular grouchy, 181 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:25,670 And "five" meant, "run! Run for you lives!" 182 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,272 - That's right. 183 00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:32,110 - You remember what a skinflint he was? 184 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,612 - Yeah. That's right, I remember. 185 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,046 I remember you said, 186 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,948 "skinflint's the perfect word for your father 187 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,885 Because he's cheap and bald." 188 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,820 - Hey, how about the imitation? 189 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,054 - No. - Oh, yes, do it! 190 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,856 - Do the imitation, ma. Do it, come on. 191 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:48,126 Come on! Do it! 192 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:52,864 - Well, he had this way of bellowing at me. 193 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,768 "marie, food!" "marie, drink!" 194 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,237 "marie, maalox!" 195 00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,274 - Oh, my god. 196 00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:04,609 - What? 197 00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,578 - You did it too. 198 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,979 - Did what? 199 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:12,150 - Tried to turn us against our dad. 200 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,920 Just like debra. 201 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,721 - Ray, that's ridiculous. 202 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,824 - I don't do anything like debra. 203 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,326 - Yeah, that's a little nuts, raymond. 204 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,761 - Oh--oh, really? 205 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,563 You don't think that mom wanted us 206 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,231 To think that dad was a jerk? 207 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,866 - Well, correct me if I'm wrong, 208 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:31,636 But I think he is a jerk. 209 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:32,871 - Of course you think that now, 210 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:37,943 After 40 years of anti-papa propaganda! 211 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:40,912 Don't you remember when we were kids 212 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,214 And--and mom would sit you down in the kitchen 213 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,950 For one of her chats? 214 00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:49,654 - That never happened to me. 215 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,356 - Well, I remember that was my whole Saturday. 216 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,024 Dad would be at the lodge, 217 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:56,361 And mom would sit me down and just go on and on 218 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,663 About how-- how she can't stand him, 219 00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:02,033 And she doesn't know how anybody can live with him, and-- 220 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:06,838 And then when she was finished, I'd get a cadbury egg. 221 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,913 - But, marie, why would you have such a personal discussion 222 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,381 With your son? 223 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,951 - And why didn't you ever have it with me? 224 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,187 - And you're doing the same thing. 225 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:25,323 - What? I-I just made a couple of bets. 226 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:28,159 - Don't kid yourself, lady. 227 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,162 Take a look in the mirror. 228 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,834 - All right, all right... 229 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,369 That's enough, raymond. 230 00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:40,772 You have been hurtful to both me and debra today, 231 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:46,344 And I think you owe a full apology to me. 232 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,014 - Oh, I'm going to apologize... 233 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,415 To dad! 234 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,651 - Raymond! 235 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,186 - Excuse me... 236 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:58,723 My father likes cake. 237 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,897 - Robbie! 238 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:09,167 - Oh, you're talking to me now? 239 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,303 Because I believe you still owe me half a cake 240 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:17,208 And a couple hundred cadbury eggs! 241 00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:29,187 - Hey, dad. 242 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:32,290 - Hey, my cake. I was looking for that. 243 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,459 - Here. 244 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,761 - Hello, little fella. 245 00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:44,202 Mmm...Mmm. 246 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:48,039 - So if I'm thinking right now that he's a slob, 247 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,309 That's ma's fault? 248 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,745 - All right. Look. 249 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,779 - Hey! 250 00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,147 - Listen, dad. 251 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,249 Uh... 252 00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,451 In the past, 253 00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,186 I may have been under the impression 254 00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,288 That--that you were maybe... 255 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,490 Not such a good guy. 256 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,093 But I'm starting to think 257 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,961 That I may have been led to believe 258 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,430 That you were worse than you are. 259 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,365 Okay, so I'm thinking 260 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:19,971 That maybe you're not so bad. 261 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,210 I guess I just wanted you to know that. 262 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,412 - Am I dying? 263 00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:38,323 - No, dad, you're not dying. 264 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,225 - Then turn the tv back on. 265 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,060 - No, dad, listen. 266 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,796 Ma used to talk bad about you behind your back 267 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:45,797 When we were kids. 268 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,165 Every Saturday, 269 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,033 She would sit me down and complain about you. 270 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:52,137 - And? 271 00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,939 - Well, that doesn't bother you? 272 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:58,777 - What would bother me is if I had to listen. 273 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,879 - Hello. 274 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,013 - Oh, no. 275 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,314 Don't even try it, mom, okay? 276 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,516 I'm talking to dad now, all right? 277 00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:06,484 You had the first 40 years. 278 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:11,790 Dad, mom's the reason that I think you're cheap and bald! 279 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:15,360 - You didn't get that on your own? 280 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,462 - No! No, she didn't give me a chance. 281 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,464 She was always complaining about you. 282 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,499 - So men are allowed to do whatever they want, 283 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,935 And the women just have to put up with it. 284 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:28,840 This is the problem with america! 285 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,108 - You're right. 286 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:34,412 You should leave america. 287 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,080 - And it didn't stop with the talking. 288 00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:38,550 I was reading letters at camp 289 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:44,322 About how my mommy's husband wasn't emotionally available! 290 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:48,259 - This was the news from home. 291 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,195 - Look, this is crazy. 292 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,297 Somebody milk me. 293 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,132 - You see? 294 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,568 That's why I had to go to you. Who else was there? 295 00:13:56,570 --> 00:14:00,071 - Anyone have a noose? 296 00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:06,477 - Listen, raymond, I spent the best years of my life 297 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,314 Trying to get an ounce of compassion out of this man, 298 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,149 And he gave me nothing. 299 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,618 - Well, don't tell me. Tell him. 300 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,187 - You gave me nothing, frank! 301 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,257 - Thanks a lot, ray. 302 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,626 - You know, just-- just leave him alone, ma. 303 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:24,062 - So this is whose side you're on now? 304 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:28,066 - No, I'm the son. I'm not on anybody's side. 305 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,601 - Well, I am! 306 00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,870 And since it's been you and raymond all these years, 307 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,471 It's going to be me and dad now. 308 00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,074 That's right-- us two against you two. 309 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,108 Right, dad? 310 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,477 - Sure. Get me some milk. 311 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:44,482 - All right! 312 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:49,587 And I'm also available to talk behind raymond and ma's back. 313 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,556 - I hope you're satisfied, frank. 314 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,392 You've caused a schism in the family. 315 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,628 - Aw, knock it off, marie. 316 00:14:56,630 --> 00:15:00,465 Didn't you hear? Ray's done buying your boo-hoo baloney. 317 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,166 - Yeah, especially since I just found out 318 00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:04,068 That debra's doing the same thing. 319 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,637 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 320 00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:08,072 She makes bets with the kids that turn them against me. 321 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,608 - Wives. - Yeah. 322 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:15,113 Wives! 323 00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:25,023 - A father lives for moments like these. 324 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,959 - Hey, here's your milk, da-- 325 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,938 Ahh. 326 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:49,948 This milk might have expired. 327 00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,624 - Listen to me, ray. 328 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,694 Your brother's a candy pants. 329 00:16:02,696 --> 00:16:07,098 But guys like us, we got to be strong. 330 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,666 - Yeah. - Because the truth is, 331 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,502 Your mother was going to complain no matter what I did. 332 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:15,406 So I figured, to hell with it! 333 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,741 I'm going to do what I want. 334 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,110 Right? 335 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,612 - W--uh-- okay. 336 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,381 - Right! 337 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,083 Because the more the wife yammers, 338 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,985 The more you can't listen. 339 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,553 I've been through 46 years of... 340 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:32,256 "why can't you be a better person?" 341 00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:35,159 Look at me! 342 00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:39,530 Am I a better person? 343 00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:45,370 - No. 344 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:48,606 - I win! 345 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,413 - Hey. 346 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:56,748 - Hey, listen, I was thinking about today-- 347 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,717 - I'm sorry. - No, no, no, I'm sorry. 348 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,253 - Oh, well, okay, but I just want you to know 349 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:05,490 That I'm going to try harder around here. 350 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,758 So... 351 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,793 You know, 352 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:13,798 You can shut down the casino, okay? 353 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,366 I mean, look, I even-- 354 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,734 I got you that yogurt you said you wanted. 355 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,503 - Aw. 356 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:22,640 Well, this is sour cream, but I appreciate the effort. 357 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,343 - Oh. Hmm. Sorry. 358 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,779 - No, I'm sorry. 359 00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:31,349 Nobody's going to bet against you anymore, hmm? 360 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,317 And you know what? 361 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,087 From now on, I'm only going to build you up to the kids. 362 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,789 - Hmm. Yeah? - Yeah. 363 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,357 - Like what? What are you going to say? 364 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,659 - You know, all the good stuff. 365 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:42,827 You're sweet, you're funny, 366 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,129 And you're a great guy. 367 00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:49,100 - Huh. All right. That's all good. 368 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:56,541 When are you going to say that? 369 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,543 - All the time. 370 00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:01,079 - Hmm. 371 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,514 How about now? 372 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,083 - What? 373 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,584 - Well, I mean, what do you got going on now? 374 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,519 The kids--they're just sitting there, and... 375 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,522 I don't know, I-I'd kind of like to see this. 376 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,459 - Ray, that's so awkward. 377 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,395 I mean, can't I just do it when it's natural to do it? 378 00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,097 - Come on. 379 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,532 I got you sour cream. 380 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,202 - You know what? I'm going to do it. 381 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,670 - Okay. Come here. 382 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:29,574 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 383 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:33,411 Wait. Wait. 384 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,251 go. 385 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,286 - Hey, kids, I want to talk to you. 386 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,655 - What? We were watching that! - Come on! 387 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:49,260 - Should've waited for the commercials. 388 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,195 - Listen, I want to talk about daddy. 389 00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:52,597 - What's the bet? 390 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:55,600 - Um... no, you know what? 391 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,435 We're actually not going to do betting anymore 392 00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,570 Because I think it's left you with the impression 393 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:04,609 That daddy's...Not so cool. And daddy is cool. 394 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:07,912 No, he is! 395 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,814 You know that. 396 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,349 You know that, right? 397 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,921 Listen, I-I just want you to understand 398 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,589 That when were doing all that stuff, 399 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,359 Like betting on haircuts and the grocery store 400 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,528 And "is daddy zipped up today?"... 401 00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:36,707 Listen... 402 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,177 I want you to know 403 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:42,947 That I think your daddy is a great guy. 404 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,916 He works very hard, 405 00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:47,351 He has a lot of fun with you guys, 406 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,521 And we're lucky to have him. 407 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,623 I love daddy very much. 408 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,292 And you know what? 409 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,929 I would rather be married to him than superman. 410 00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:00,364 - You would? 411 00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:03,935 - Yes, I would. 412 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,707 - Hey! What are you guys doing here? 413 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,443 Hey! 414 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:13,444 Oh! I've been looking for you. 415 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,879 What's going on? 416 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,315 - We were just saying how great daddy is. 417 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,683 - You're great, daddy. 418 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:22,286 - My, my! Where is this coming from? 419 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:25,823 Aw, you guys are-- you're great too, yeah. 420 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,858 - Okay, guys, you know, it's time for bed. 421 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,794 - No! - Aw, come on. 422 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,629 Come on, guys. It's bedtime. - Yeah. 423 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,431 Hey, how about if daddy reads you a bedtime story? 424 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,734 Yeah! 425 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,436 - Oh. 426 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,239 Ah...I wanted to watch the knick game. 427 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,673 Yeah, you know what? 428 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,742 Forget the knicks. I want to read! 429 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,944 All right, guys, superman's coming, 430 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,512 He's going to read you a story, 431 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:49,513 But he's going to read it super fast, 432 00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:52,483 So he can watch the knicks. 433 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,784 Wait a minute. 434 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,954 Superman wants to use his superpowers. 435 00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,724 Ah, you wore the lacy ones. 436 00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:10,735 - Hey. 437 00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:12,003 - Hi. 438 00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:13,404 Hey, what do you got? A new sweater? 439 00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:15,306 - Yeah. Amy gave it to me. 440 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:16,907 I've been getting compliments all day. 441 00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:18,009 - Huh. 442 00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:19,744 Yeah, it's pretty good, man. 443 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:20,911 - Oh, yeah? 444 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,380 How much you want to bet 445 00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:25,049 Mom won't even notice? 446 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,018 - I'll bet you she will. 447 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:30,855 - You're wrong, and you're wrong. 448 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,391 - Hi, robbie. - Hey, ma. 449 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:37,061 - How's amy? - Fine, ma. 450 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:39,630 - Excuse me, robbie. I have to get to the sink. 451 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,466 - Aha! I win! 452 00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,735 - Congratulations. 453 00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:47,004 Your mother doesn't notice you. 454 00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:54,779 - Hey, what's with the ugly sweater? 31805

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