All language subtitles for Everybody.Loves.Raymond.S08E09.The.Bird.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BS-ing

- I'm so glad you came
a day early, honey.

- Me too, mom.

I'm almost looking
forward to this.

- oh, good.
They're here.

- Hello, husband.

- Hello, wife.

- I missed you.

- Oh, I missed you too.

- Hey, it's winter
out here.

- Ooh! I'm sorry.
Come in.

- Hello.
- Well, welcome.

- Happy thanksgiving.

- How are you?
- Hello.

- How was the drive?

- Long.

But--but fun
'cause we're just,

"pennsylvania!
Can't wait!"

- Good day,
fair barones...

On this festival
of thanks and givingness.

- Well, here,
let me take your coats.

- Don't go too far with those.

- Dad, be a person.

- Sorry we're so late.

- That's all right.
Dinner's almost ready.

- I brought pies for after.

- Oh, thank you, marie.

- I made two in case
people don't fill up on dinner.

- How thoughtful.

- Well, why doesn't everyone
have a seat?

- Just point us
to the room with the tv.

- Oh, we don't own
a tv.

- I don't understand.

- You know, it's fine, frank.
We'll just talk.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- You can warm yourselves up
with some hot cider.

- Is it spiked?

- There's cinnamon.

- So I drove here
for hot juice.

- And, children,
we also have

The macdougall family
thanksgiving pageant.

- The--the macdougall...
What?

- Oh, did I forget
to mention that to you guys?

This is fun.
Listen to this.

This is great.

- When peter and I
were kids,

We used to put on a play
about the first thanksgiving.

And we thought that,
since ally and the boys

Were coming this year,

We could try it again.

- Doesn't that sound
like fun, kids?

- You don't even have, like,
a little emergency tv?

- The kids can play
most of the parts,

And peter will reprise
his role as...

- Squanto.

- All right, children,
if you want to follow me,

I have costumes
and decorations.

And candy.
- Okay!

- Oh, they'll be so cute
doing the play.

- This is great.
Dinner and a show!

- You have a radio?
- Ray.

- What?

What if--what if
the president comes on

To say thanksgiving's
been canceled?

How are we going
to hear that?

- Hey, this chair ain't bad.
I tell you something.

I could do some serious napping
in this thing.

Frank.

- Come on, stop it.
Stop it.

- What? What?
What? What?

- Don't get my dad
started on naps.

- Don't tell me--
he's morally against 'em.

- Oh, no.
He loves naps.

Right, daddy?

- I do.

But never in a chair.

I'm more
of a bed man.

- Interesting.

Let me ask you,

Do you go all the way
under the covers?

- No, no.
No, no, just on top.

Now, I might
kick off my shoes,

But that's
as far as it goes.

- Well, let me tell you,
if I'm doing a bed nap,

I'm getting under the covers,
but my pants are not.

- I've got pastry puffs.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- Hey, mom, dad and frank
are talking about naps.

- Oh, that's wonderful.

- Do yourself
a favor, hank.

Try a nap
in the chair sometime.

- I might just do that
after dinner.

- There you go!

- Would you like
an appetizer, marie?

They're homemade.

- Oh, that's all right.

- Oh, but I'd love
for you to try one.

Everyone says
you're the best cook there is.

- Well,
I wouldn't say that.

I'd love to try one.

Mmm! I have to say,
that's marvelous.

- Oh, thank you.

- She's been so worried

About what you were going
to think of her dinner.

- Oh...
Who cares what I think?

- Mom!

The boys are putting glue
in each other's hair.

- Oh, no!

- I'm surprised
it took them this long.

Okay, sweetie, mommy will help
you stick 'em to the wall.

- How great is this?
Isn't this great?

It's like a family.

- I have more appetizers
in the kitchen.

- Oh, I'll come with you.

I want to see what else
we have to look forward to.

- Don't put glue
in each other's hair.

- what was that?

- Sounded like something
hit the house.

Oh, it's a bird.

- It must've flown
into the window.

- Oh.

- Oh, man.
It's hurt.

- Oh, what do we do?

- Don't squeeze it.
Be careful.

- Uh, don't worry.
I got it.

- Don't hold it too tight.

I know birds.
I build birdhouses.

- May I see it?

Oh, my.

Let me help you.

- Aw, poor thing.

- He must've gotten
confused or something.

- Hey, hey,
remember tweety?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, when we were kids,

We had
a cockatiel named tweety.

- I trained him
so when I opened his cage,

He'd fly right up
onto my shoulder.

He thought
I was a tree.

- Here we go.
- Oh, how's the bird?

- Oh, I took
care of it.

- What do you mean?

- You know--

- You killed the bird?

- I had to put it
out of its misery.

- You mean, you actually
put it to death?

- It was very quick.

- How could you do that?

- Oh,
she's very good at it.

- You've done this before?

- Sure.
All the time.

- Well, only when
they hit the house.

- I think, if birds keep flying
into your house,

You got
to warn them somehow.

- Maybe we should just cover
the house with mattresses,

So the birds bounce off.

- Are you making fun of me,
cocoa puffs?

- Okay.
All right.

Let's all take a deep breath
and try to remember

That the bird
is in a better place.

Birdie heaven,

Where the seed is free,

And every bird
gets a worm--

Not just the early ones.

- She should take you
into the kitchen.

excuse me,

But how do you know
the bird couldn't be saved?

I mean, you're not
a veterinarian.

- No, but I have lived
in the country my whole life.

- Mom grew up
on a farm.

- I bet the chickens slept
with one eye open.

- It's funny,
isn't it, mother,

How city folk react
to this type of thing?

- That poor bird was
innocently flying around,

You kill it,
you don't even seem to care.

- It's not that
we don't care, marie.

It's just, out here,

There are animals
all around us,

And sometimes you do
what has to be done.

- Yes, like when a rodent
gets into the root cellar,

You don't want
to bang it with a shovel...

But you do.

- Bong!

- You got no right
to go around

Bumping off god's creatures
willy-nilly.

- Well, let's remember, frank,
god did say,

"let man have dominion
over the fish of the sea,

"and the fowl of the air,

And every creeping thing
that creepeth upon the earth."

- You creepeth me out.

- You know, frank, I would like
to say something to you.

It seems to me that you care
more about animals

Than you do about people.

- What the hell is that
supposed to mean?

- Well, I've never seen you show
as much compassion

For any human being

As you've just shown
for that bird.

And even the way you treat
each other is appalling.

- Hey, I think I know
a couple of fellas

Who could use a nap.

- Listen, pal,
we tell it like it is.

Somebody's bothering me,
I let 'em know.

And, yeah, maybe that's
why I like animals.

They tell it
like it is.

Woof! Moo!
Quack!

That's straight shooting.

- So you're
like an animal.

- yes.

- I'm honest.

You don't love
your fellow man.

You just pretend
to be all nicey-nice,

So you can get
a ticket upstairs.

- Oh!

- Okay,
now it's a holiday.

- We would never
pretend like that.

We always try
to see the goodness in people.

Even when it's
very, very hard.

- I happen to agree
with my husband.

You can't
just put on a smile

And pretend
that people are wonderful.

- Yeah, nobody really--
- I'm talking now, frank.

I have always felt

That if I'm going
to be a loving human being,

I also had
to be courageous enough

To be honest with people.

Being fake helps no one.

what is that look?

- It's just--
well, I was thinking

About when you said
you made two pies

In case people didn't
fill up on dinner.

I don't think
you were happy

To be spending
thanksgiving with us,

But you covered
your true feelings

With a veiled insult
about my cooking.

Isn't that fake?

- You killed a bird!

- Marie, maybe we should
just let the bird thing go.

- Whoa, whoa, amy, look,

Let's not get sucked
into this, okay?

I mean, I'm not taking
my family's side.

- Well, of course not.
They're acting all nuts.

- They're nuts?

- Well, what
would you call it

When a man barks
and quacks at you?

- My father
was barking and quacking

Because he was upset

About the path
of death and destruction

That your parents have cut
through the animal community!

- That's my boy!

- This doesn't happen
if you have a tv.

- Then you must think
I'm a murderer too.

When I was a kid,
I used to catch field mice

To feed
to peter's pet snake.

- You crazy bastard.

They're all killers.

It runs in the family.

- I wish
we still had that snake.

- Frank! They want
to feed us to the snakes!

- All right.

Just relax, you two, okay?

No snake is that hungry.

- hey, everybody!

Here they come!

- What's this?
- Isn't this great?

There's a part for everybody
in the play.

- Not me.
Forget it.

- But, grandpa,
you're the indian chief.

- I see no reason why he
should be involved in our play.

- Oh, you don't want me
in your play?

- What's going on?

What's happening?

- No tv.

- Daddy, we want you
to be squanto.

- What?
- Yeah, squanto.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, no.

hold on a second.

No, no.
I am always squanto.

Okay?

- But we want
daddy to do it.

- Yeah, daddy.

- Kid, I always do it.
Let me have the feather.

Come on,
let me have the feather.

- Hey, hey, leave the kid.
- Let me have the feather.

- Hey!

I'm squanto!

Yeah.

Feels good.

Heap good.

- Fine.

I look forward
to your interpretation.

- Marie, uh, we thought
you'd be a pilgrim.

So if you'll
just take the hat...

- Maybe the pageant
isn't such a good idea today.

- What do you mean?
It's thanksgiving!

- No. Let's just forget it.

- No! I don't know
what's going on here,

But certain people
in this room

Are very excited
about doing this play, okay?

So we're going to do it.

- Oh, debra, don't you--
- dit-dit-dit-dit!

We're doing the play.

Kids, let's go.
Ally, sweetie.

- "the first thanksgiving.

"the pilgrims landed
at plymouth rock

"in the winter
of 1620,

"looking for freedom
and a new life.

But things were not easy
for them."

- "the winter
is so very hard.

Many of our people are dying
from cold and hunger."

- "but we can't find
any food."

- "we don't even know
how to catch fish.

What ever will we do?"

- She should try strangling
a couple of birds.

- Did anyone hear
some savages talking?

- "a native american
named squanto

Came to the pilgrim village."

- "my name is squanto"--

- Ooh! Riveting!

- "my name is squanto.
I come in peace."

- "hello."
- hey. Oh.

"hey. Hi.

I'll show you how
to live off this land."

- "squanto taught the pilgrims
how to catch fish."

Is anybody buying
this guy as squanto?

- You leave him alone.

He hasn't had a chance
to exercise lately.

- "can you also teach us

To plant corn
and forage for berries?"

- "yes, I can."

Oh. Eh.

- "squanto and the pilgrims
became friends,

But squanto's tribe
did not like the settlers."

- This is
an excellent play.

- "I think we should be friends
with the pilgrims

And sign a peace treaty."

- "yes, we promise
to protect your people

And treat you
with kindness."

- Lies.
They're going to screw us.

- "the pilgrims invited
squanto's tribe to a big feast.

Everyone was happy
when the indian chief arrived."

"we're so happy."

- "they exchanged gifts,

And the indian chief
embraced the pilgrim governor."

grandpa, embrace him.

- Look, ally, sweetie,
this was cute and everything,

But now it stinks.

- It doesn't stink!

This play is
a macdougall family tradition.

- Yes, and we've seen
other kinds of traditions

Your family enjoys.

- Marie,
please stop already.

- No, no. That's okay.
You know what I think?

It's important to get
everything out in the open.

So tell me, amy,

What else did you feed
that snake, huh?

Stray dogs?
Hitchhikers?

- Oh, my god.

- Your family scares
the hell out of me!

- Okay.

Okay.
Okay, enough.

What is going on here?

When I left the room,

Everybody was laughing,
and it was wonderful.

It showed me that our family
could really get along.

What happened?

- Pat the psycho choked a bird
with her bare hands.

- What?

- A bird flew into the window,
and it was really hurt.

- And she murdered it.

- She put it
out of its misery.

- Oh, that's what happened.

So?

- So?
- Well, thank you!

- That's what you're
fighting about?

I mean,
what was pat supposed to do?

Perform surgery?

- You have never liked us.

You take
every opportunity you can

To go against the family.

- Well, you know,
actually,

I can kind of see
debra's point.

I mean,
the bird was injured.

- Oh, now you think that?

When debra says it, you listen.
But with me, you just fight.

What is with you?

- It's a confusing issue!

- You're out of the family.

You, what's with your wife?

- He's right. Why can't you
just be on our side?

- It's not
about taking sides, ray!

It's very sad what happened
to that bird,

But it doesn't have
to ruin everything!

- That bird was
one of god's creatures!

The god these people
supposedly work for.

But apparently, that life
didn't mean anything to them.

It was just a bird.

Well, maybe so,

But I happen to think

He deserved a lot better
than he got.

- Okay, everyone!

Dinner.

- All right!
Break me off a leg there!