Original subtitles

♪ Daring duck of mystery Champion of right ♪

♪ Swoops out of the shadows Darkwing owns the night ♪

♪ Somewhere some villain schemes ♪

♪ But his number's up ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ When there's trouble you call DW ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Let's get dangerous ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Darkwing, Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Cloud of smoke and he appears ♪

♪ Master of surprise ♪

♪ Who's that cunning mind behind that shadowy disguise? ♪

♪ Nobody knows for sure But bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ 'Cause here comes ♪

- ♪ Darkwing Duck ♪ - ♪ Look out! ♪

♪ When there's trouble you call DW ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Let's get dangerous ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Better watch out you bad boys ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

- [man] State your name. - Darkwing Duck.

- [man] Occupation. - Terror that flaps in the night.

State your case.

I caught that hateful, underhanded ham,

Tuskernini, robbing a bank.

I object, Your Honor! I am not a ham!

Darkwing Duck, do you have any evidence?

These reviews of his performance in Son of Macbeth.

I mean the bank robbery.

These newsreels of Tuskernini committing the crime.

This signed confession

and the testimony of over 500 eyewitnesses.

- [all shout] - Ha! Flimsy evidence.

Counsel for the defense.

[bleating]

[stammering] A penny... A cent...

Through a cent.... In a cent.

Yes! Your Honor, I am innocent!

[laughs]

[stammers] A wildebeest? A water buffalo?

It's a sheep.

A sheep. Sounds like a sheep. Asleep! Yes!

I was asleep, Your Honor.

A picture. Yes. I was in a picture.

Yes. Son of King Lear, as I recall.

- A picture frame? - That's it. Framed!

Enough of these charades. I find you guilty as charged.

But, Your Honor, I was framed...

...by Darkwing Duck.

What?! Why, you... Oh, I'll frame you all right.

Order in the court!

Darkwing, let him go or I'll find you in contempt!

[knocking on door]

Oh, go away. I've had a rough day.

This is your lucky day, Drake.

The new line of Quackerware came in

and you get first shot at it

on account of because you're such a pal.

[sighs] Anything to make Herb Muddlefoot shut up.

- [knocking] - Oh, hello, Drake.

I thought you might like to sign up for this wonderful program

Herb and I volunteered for.

Anything to make Binkie Muddlefoot shut up.

[knocking]

[sighs] Well, what could be worse

than one of the Muddlefoots?

Now what?

Just wanted you to meet our new house guest, Drakester.

Did you know your houseguest

is Thug Neanderthal, a convicted felon?

Oh, well, of course we do, silly.

[laughs] Thug's our adopted convict.

A real prize too.

His crimes were especially cruel and senseless.

But Binkie's cooking oughta turn him around.

Doing your part for society by adopting a convicted criminal.

What a great idea.

What a chump.

Your Adopt-a-Con should be here any second.

Gotta go, Drake.

Yeah, bye.

What?!

- What are you talking about? - The Adopt-a-Con Program.

- That was so nice of you to sign up. - [gulps]

No way I'm playing housemaid to a criminal.

Hey, Dad, what are you doing?

Anyone comes to the door don't answer it.

If anyone asks, you don't know me.

- [knocking] - I'll get it.

Is Mr. Mallard home?

Congratulations, Mr. Mallard,

on supporting the Adopt-a-Con Program

by taking a convicted criminal into your home.

These are the rules.

Provide room and board for your convict and respect privacy.

Your convict must obey all laws and never leave your house.

Never?

During his stay your convict

must learn a new trade.

If you attempt to harm your convict

or destroy this contract,

you will be imprisoned.

Use this panic button in case of emergency

and I will appear immediately.

Couldn't I just save a whale instead?

And now I'd like you to meet your new house guest,

the soon-to-be-reformed Tuskernini.

Enchanted, Mr. Mallard.

So you see I was merely returning the bag of money I found

when Darkwing Duck appeared

and accused me of stealing it.

You mean you didn't really rob that bank?

Is this the face of a bank robber?

Ah, what a wimp.

The Muddlefoots got a better criminal.

Maybe I should go make up Mr. Tuskernini's bed for him.

[humming Rock-a-bye Baby]

Dad, are you OK? What are you doing?

The judge wants to reform Tuskernini,

so I'm going to reform him...

...into a pancake.

Then we can adopt you after the judge throws you in prison!

Unless of course he gives you the chair.

Maybe I should wait till he tries something.

After all, I've got him right under my bill

where I can keep my eye on him.

He thinks I'm just some unwitting fool.

But, as Drake Mallard, I've got the perfect cover.

By the way, I booby-trapped the door.

Why aren't the dishes done? Why isn't the floor swept?

Why isn't the table set?

[growling]

Huh? What's eating him, man?

[laughs] This reminds me of the time

I was filming in the Amazon and was attacked

by a prehistoric, nine-toed mega-sloth.

[knocking]

What the...?

[speaks French]

The law requires me to take up a new trade,

so I am starting my own band.

Gosalyn, I smell a rat.

Oh, can I keep him, Dad?

That's not the kind I meant. And no, you can't.

Why... [laughs] I love band instruments.

Can I take a look, hm?

Can you play Lady of Spain?

[giggles] A most suitable cover for our operation.

An ideal location for the tunnel.

To work, lads, and keep down the noise.

Shh!

[jack hammering]

What is that racket?

We are tuning up.

I'm gonna find out what's going on in there.

Tunnel ready.

Door ready.

Catapult ready.

Action!

Whoo-hoo! It's a take.

[laughing] Time for this reformed criminal

to take up a new trade.

- [record scratches] - [music plays]

[straining]

Maybe he really is starting a band.

Hey, DW. I just heard Megavolt's robbing the Fifth National Bank!

Let's get dangerous.

Oh, you are a genius, Tuskernini.

No one will ever see through this brilliant disguise.

I am the terror that flaps in the night.

I am the slug that crawls... Hold the mayo.

You're not Megavolt. You're Tuskernini

in a really bad Megavolt disguise.

I am not Tuskernini, and this is an excellent disguise.

Really? Well, Megavolt, let's see you shock me.

Come on, go ahead.

Give me your best shock. Be my guest.

How about this?

Stand back or I will zap you with my magneto-gun.

Excuse me, it's "electro-gun" and that is a hand vacuum.

Now suck gas, evildoer.

[laughs] I think I'm on to something.

Give me that!

P-U! Stink gas! [gags]

He may have gotten away, but I know where he's going.

And I know a shortcut!

[yawns]

Wait'll the judge sees this.

This better be good.

Darkwing Duck? I told you to stay way from Tuskernini.

No problemo, since Tuskernini's not here.

Can I help you, gentlemen?

What is the meaning of this?

He tried to rob a bank. I saw him.

Your Honor, I do believe he's trying to frame me again.

I'm gonna frame you!

Why are you doing this to me?

Oh, it's true, Your Honor.

Yes, I've robbed banks

and ripped the warning labels off mattresses,

and a lot of other bad things,

but that was such a long time ago.

- That was yesterday. - I've turned over a new leaf.

I've seen the light. I've gone straight!

It's a miracle, Your Honor! I'm a reformed man!

How could you be so cruel?

That's it, Darkwing Duck.

- You're going to jail. - But I can't.

I've got crooks to catch, fish to fry.

I've gotta rotate my sock drawer!

[laughs]

Well, boys, it looks like we have the perfect cover!

[Gosalyn] Psst, Dad.

Gosalyn! You gotta get me outta here!

I'm going stir crazy, I tell ya.

I've been in here over five minutes!

I baked you a cake with a saw in it.

Four hundred, 500...

Your Honor, I've got the $500 here to bail out Darkwing Duck.

A-ha!

[judge] Attempted jailbreak?

That bail is now $5,000.

[Gosalyn] Psst, psst!

I brought you something to dig your way out, Dad.

Great, it's a... potato peeler.

Mr. Muddlefoot borrowed the shovel.

I've got the 5,000, Your Honor.

A-ha!

[judge] Take that! Fifty thousand dollars.

Now what?

Don't worry, Dad. I've got just the thing this time.

Gosalyn, no!

Get me out of here!

I've got the 50,000, Your Honor.

Bail's been posted. You're free to go.

And don't try any more funny stuff!

He's gonna pay for that.

I'm gonna give him a taste of his own medicine.

Turn the tables on him. I'm gonna beat him at his own game.

You're gonna give him aspirin, rearrange his furniture

- and challenge him to a game of golf? - No.

We're taking up amateur acting.

By the way, where'd you get the bail money?

I... [laughs] had to sell a few of your things.

Where is everyone?

I have an extremely long,

but highly amusing story to tell.

♪ La-di-da-di-doh ♪

- Am I intruding? - No.

We're not involved in a criminal conspiracy.

Hmm...

It is no use, child of mine.

He's too smart for us.

He knows we're really the Mad Duck Mallard Gang.

The Mad Duck Mallard Gang?

Yeah, and we've got a plan for the perfect crime:

Robbing the National Mint.

We got the maps. We got the models.

We got the satellite surveillance photos.

We got everything worked out, to the smallest detail.

Except how to get in and out of the bank.

Hey, I just got a great idea.

Maybe Tuskernini can help us.

Gosalyn, Gosalyn, Gosalyn,

we're supposed to help reform Tuskernini,

not ask him to help us steal over ten zillion dollars.

That's right. You see, I am a reformed...

- How much did you say? - Ten zillion dollars.

Not that reformed.

[laughs] Good. They have completed

the tunnel to the mint.

Now, what is your plan?

We go inside, we take the money and then we leave.

Ooh! Good plan.

LP, once we're inside, set off the alarm.

Jump in the tunnel and seal it. You watch the penguins.

- Hit the panic button once we're clear. - Huh?

OK, let's go.

Put these on first.

Why? Are we going to a luau after?

Oh, no. We aren't going to rob the bank,

Bushroot is.

- OK, Launchpad, hit the alarm. - [alarm rings]

I said the silent alarm!

[Gosalyn] Sorry, Dad.

Gosalyn! What are you doing here?

I thought I was supposed to set off the alarm.

You're not supposed to... [stammers]

Let's get outta here.

Hey, Drake. [laughs] I sealed the tunnel.

You were supposed to do that after we got into it.

What is going on around here?

It's locked.

[officer] This is the police! The place is surrounded.

This is a setup, isn't it?

You know what I do to people who set me up?

[stutters] But... but we didn't do it.

Darkwing Duck, he set us up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What he said.

Darkwing Duck, eh? He's ruined every one of my schemes.

I'd like to get rid of him once and for all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's too bad he's not around.

Don't worry, I'll see that he shows up.

[siren wails]

Come out with your hands up or we're coming in after you.

Hold your fire, coppers.

This is Bushroot, the plant guy, you know?

I got three hostages.

Hand over Darkwing Duck or the hostages buy the farm!

[gasps]

Darkwing Duck's a little tied up right now.

You have one minute to hand over Darkwing Duck.

Let's make a break for it!

We'd be duck jerky before we made the door.

We'll just have to give him Darkwing Duck. Now cover for me.

Trick I learned from a conscientious contortionist

in Constantinople.

[yelps]

Kinda forgot we were on the top floor.

You have 45 seconds to hand over Darkwing Duck.

[scoffs] Plenty of time for the master of time and space.

But how time flies when you're being attacked by a vicious guard dog.

Yow!

Oh, great! An alligator-filled moat.

Great! What a surprise. The Sahara Desert.

[panting]

[Tuskernini] You have five more seconds

to hand over Darkwing Duck.

Good thing I brought a spare costume along.

Fear no more, gentlemen. Darkwing Duck is here.

Gangway. What's going on here? And it better be good.

Bushroot has hostages,

and he won't release them unless we hand over Darkwing Duck.

What? Hostages?

This is no time to think of myself.

The lives of innocent citizens are in danger.

Of course I'll hand myself over. No sacrifice is too...

Good! He's all yours, Bushroot!

But we wanna see the hostages first!

Not necessary. I'm sure they're OK.

Show me the hostages or no deal!

Oh, darn. Forgot to wear my lucky socks. Be right back.

[panting, coughing]

- [growling] - [whimpering]

[straining]

Everybody over to the window.

OK, here they are. But I won't release them

until you send in Darkwing Duck.

Is that necessary? Couldn't we go first?

Give me Darkwing Duck first or no deal.

I'll send in Darkwing only after you send out the hostages.

I go in first or I break your gavel.

Never mind!

I go in second.

If Bushroot doesn't scalp that duck, I will.

OK, Tusky, you and me. Come on, let's party.

You may go now, but you must promise

to tell everyone that I am not Tuskernini.

- I promise. - I promise.

I promise.

Don't forget to tell the press

about my heroic rescue. Capital D's.

This is it, Darkwing Duck.

I have been written out of the show

and I am taking you with me.

Calm down, Toofers. Everything's OK.

I'll speak to the producer.

Whoa! Now why didn't I think of that earlier?

Freeze!

- Not so fast! - I said freeze!

[all shouting]

Tuskernini?

Darkwing Duck framed me.

[chirping]

- [knock on door] - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Even Herb Muddlefoot couldn't ruin my day.

I'm sorry to hear about your adopted con

not working out, Drakester.

Huh? Oh, yeah. Broke me up too.

They put him away for good this time.

Well, once a crook, always a crook, I guess.

Not so, Drake. Remember Thug?

He's reformed!

You look intelligent. Perhaps I can interest you

in our new line of Quackerware products.

Guaranteed to withstand a nuclear blast.

This is not simply a mechanical device. This is a miracle.

The changing of the ages.

I think I liked him better before.

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪