Original subtitles

♪ Daring duck of mystery

♪ Champion of right

♪ Swoops out of the shadows

♪ Darkwing owns the night

♪ Somewhere some villain schemes

♪ But his number's up

♪ 3-2-1

♪ Darkwing Duck

♪ When there's trouble, you call DW

♪ Darkwing Duck

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing Duck

Darkwing... duck!

♪ Cloud of smoke and he appears

♪ A master of surprise

♪ Who's that cunning mind behind

♪ That shadowy disguise?

♪ Nobody knows for sure

♪ Bad guys are out of luck

♪ 'Cause here comes

♪ Darkwing Duck Look out!

♪ When there's trouble, you call DW

♪ Darkwing Duck

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing Duck

Better watch out, you bad boys!

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

(Grizzlikof) Director Hooter, I am afraid our operative in Oilrabia

has met with some difficulty.

Difficulty? In what way, Agent Grizzlikof?

Uh, he's dead.

What? That's two dozen in two weeks.

Do you know what kind of morale problem that creates?

(sighs) How did he die?

He was drowned.

Any possibility it was an accident?

In the middle of the desert?

I suppose that does suggest FOWL play...

F-O-W-L -

the Fiendish Organization for World Larceny.

Our SHUSH agents can handle almost anything,

but this assignment seems beyond our resources.

I'm going to call... Please, Director, do not call -

...Darkwing Duck.

I was hoping maybe his name would not come up.

I only hope he gets this message.

(sound of tires squealing)

(growls) I am hating it when that happens.

Come on, Launchpad, don't blow it, buddy.

Mess this up and you're doomed.

Everything depends on your next move.

(Darkwing) I am the terror who flaps in the night.

Aw, now I'll never know who won.

Hey, DW, where ya hidin'?

I am the spider who nips at your neck.

Eww!

I am Darkwing Duck!

Whoa!

Nice trick, DW.

Yes, one more fiendishly clever device

calculated to pound fear

into superstitious and cowardly criminal minds.

Pretty cool, huh?

I'll say. Can I try?

Is this how you control it? No!

(crash)

(ratcheting sound)

He-he. Guess I wasn't supposed to touch that.

No, you weren't.

Gee, I'm sorry, DW, but I never get a chance to use your Darkwing doohickeys.

Look, Launchpad,

my gadgets are strictly f-h-o -

for heroes only -

not for their sidekicks.

Hey, no problemo. I can be a hero.

You, a hero? Ha!

Don't be ridiculous.

A hero does the undoable,

risks the unriskable

and thinks the unthinkable.

Ha! Big deal. I can go for weeks without thinkin'.

Believe me, I know. (doorbell rings)

Aha! A communiqué from SHUSH Central. J. Gander must need me.

Must need a hero's expertise.

OK, let me see. We gotta get all the... (gasps)

SHUSH suspects FOWL is after Oilrabia's plush oil reserves.

And once again, Darkwing Duck is summoned

to fight the nefarious forces of evil.

We leave immediately. Get the bags.

Uh, Launchpad? The bags?

Is there anything wrong?

Well, if I'm not good enough to be a hero,

then you can go alone.

Uh-oh.

Oh, don't be silly.

I need you to fly the Thunderquack. You're the hero, you fly it.

But you know I never learned to fly.

Too bad, 'cause I'm not flyi''

unless I get a crack at the heroic stuff.

(grunts) Oh, you...

All right.

Just this once, you can be the hero.

Then let's go, sidekick. We got a case to face.

Uh, ha-ha. The bags?

(mutters) Darkwing Duck a mere sidekick.

We'll see how heroic flyboy is

when real trouble starts.

That's Oilrabia, all right.

That plateau makes it virtually impervious to enemy attack.

And shields 'em, too, I'll bet.

Set 'er down easy, Launchpad.

As always.

(crash)

Hummina, hummina, whoa.

Make that a Darkwing ditto.

(♪ bazaar)

(sound of tires squealing)

Hold it there, big fella.

I better handle this.

Unh-unh. No can do, DW.

Everyone knows the hero always gets the girl, and I'm the hero, remember?

A promise is a promise, and you promised.

Oh, nuts. I gotta take flying lessons.

(clock ticking)

Wait a minute. I don't own a watch.

Must be a clock around here somewhere.

(gasps)

It's a megablaster fission bomb,

with Swiss-movement timing and optional radials.

Steady, Darkwing.

One wrong move and we'll be texture-coating the walls.

Let's see. The red wire is the triggering...

Step aside, sidekick, and let a hero do his job.

(wheezes)

There.

Gee, that wasn't hard at all. Ha-ha-ha.

But-But you didn't even follow directions.

Oh, finally, SHUSH has sent us an agent capable of helping my country.

You are a true hero.

Hey, it was nothin', really.

I'll say it was nothing - nothing but dumb luck.

Don't mind me.

Just looking for the nonsmoking section.

The attacks on our oil fields grow more audacious,

and oil is all that my people have.

Don't worry, Princess. We'll leave after lunch.

This feast should be in my honor, but no.

I had to find a sidekick with ambitions.

Oh, please.

Ahem. Dear Princess, put all your fears aside.

I shall personally lead the expedition

to determine what threat there may be to your kingdom.

You? But are you not just the sidekick?

(spring boings)

An unfortunate and very temporary misunderstanding.

But Launchpad has promised me

that he will lead the expedition.

(gulping)

He is a hero, you know.

He is not, he is not, not, not, not, not!

I'm the brains of this team.

I am Darkwing... Duck.

(giggles)

What a whimsical fellow.

He certainly must keep your adventures amusing.

Oh, yeah. DW's a barrel of laughs.

(crash)

Oh, boy, the Princess sure knows how to travel in style.

Hey, how's it goin' back there, sidekick?

Just ducky, hero.

We found the body of the last SHUSH agent just up ahead.

(Steelbeak) Oh, man.

How many agents do we have to exterminate

before them dweebs at SHUSH get the message?

Wai-ai-ait. Can it be?

Ha-ha! Ah, that looks like my fav-o-rite playmate,

the ol' Darkwing doofus himself.

Well... Ha-ha.

I'm gonna have to send them a little gift

from Steelbeak's welcome wagon.

(jingling)

A sandstorm! But where did it come from?

Great danger! We must take cover!

Launchpad!

(♪ Muzak) ♪ Ya da da-da doo

♪ Do-doot doot-doot do-doot do twa tee ♪

Launchpad, come back here!

Whooooa!

Whoa! Good brakes.

OK, OK, you can ride with me.

I'm comin', DW!

I'm comin'!

Gotcha.

(both) Whoa!

Whaaah!

There was nothing we could do, Princess.

Launchpad the great and mighty has been lost in the storm.

He was... trying to save his funny little friend.

Do not worry.

Launchpad will not fail our people.

True heroes can overcome any adversity,

and Launchpad is a true hero.

Well, hero, what do we do now?

What I always do when I'm lost -

find the nearest gas station.

There oughta be one around here...

uh, somewhere.

The pitiless sun pounds our parched panting protagonist,

but still Darkwing Duck presses forward,

hoping to put off the inescapable...

Ah, great chance to catch some rays, eh, DW?

Have you lost your mind?!

What are you so angry about? I'm usin' a sunscreen.

Don't you understand?

We're going to die,

shriveling in the merciless glare of the sun

until there's nothing left

but a pair of pitiful piles of duck jerky!

Gah! (wheezes/coughs)

Not to worry, DW. We're saved.

They've sent in the navy.

Oh, sure, like they'll just sail up in the middle of the... desert?

The question is, what are they doing here?

FOWL Eggmen.

They're building a whole fleet.

From the looks of things, I surmise -

Wait a second. Doesn't the hero get to do the surmising?

OK, OK, OK. So what do you surmise?

Beats me. What about you?

I surmise we should take a closer look.

Sounds good. Glad I consulted you.

We must be like the cat,

treading soundlessly with complete control.

You think anyone heard that?

I'd say it was a strong "maybe."

It's no use, Launchpad.

You jump while I hold them off. No way.

I'm the hero. You jump, and I'll hold them off.

Whaa!

Whoa!

Quicksand?

(both grunting)

Hey.

(both) Uh-oh.

Something tells me this is where the plot thickens.

So I says to myself,

"Hey, what kind of an adventure is it

if we don't invite the comedy relief?"

How ya doin', ducks?

Gee, Steelbeak, good to see ya.

That means you're not behind my back.

Ohh. Still racking up the popularity points, eh, Darkwing?

Ah, you're the guy who's building the ships in the desert.

Oh, he's good. He deserves a promotion.

I got one already. I'm the hero this time.

Launchpad, not now.

Well, I am.

Don't listen to him. A touch of sunstroke.

Oh, yeah. I know how good help is hard to find.

So, before we get to the usual torture thing

that I know you're so fond of,

let me explain why I'm stuck in this armpit of a desert.

You're obviously after Oilrabia's oil reserves.

You are sharp. Hey, I like that.

But you step on my lines.

However, you're right.

Gas makes the world go round,

and from now on, you want gas,

you pull up to your friendly FOWL station.

Service with a smile.

Steelbeak, you're pumpin' unleaded but comin' up empty.

Ha! Your troops wouldn't make it across the desert,

much less climb the cliffs of Oilrabia.

That's why I'm gonna attack by sea.

(both laugh)

Oh, you're right. I can't stand it.

In the middle of the desert, right?

I guess you're gonna have to wait for rain?

Oh, no. I'm gonna bring my own.

I am gonna turn the desert into an ocean.

Yeah, right.

(thunderclap)

Whoa. This guy's gotta be bad news at a picnic.

Aw, come on, DW. Would you just give me a chance?

Aha! I have it.

I'll use my mental powers taught to me by Tibetan yogis

who befriended me as a boy.

When the guard returns, I'll mesmerize him,

making him my slave.

(lips vibrate)

Then again, I could use lightning.

Time to trust the basics.

But shouldn't the hero lead the attack?

Launchpad, you may be the hero on this mission,

but there is only one Darkwing Duck.

I am the terror that flaps in the night.

I am the little mouse that eats your cheese.

I am Darkwing...

(clang/crash)

...Duck.

(both laugh)

Gangway!

Goin' somewhere?

Stand back, Beaky,

or I'll sizzle-ize you with a lightning bolt.

How do you make this thing work?

Whoa-oa mm-mm. What? Mm-hmm.

Aha!

You idiot, you're gonna jam it.

(thunder rumbling)

Get to the ships! The cave's gonna flood!

(rumbling)

(Launchpad and Darkwing gasp)

Flash flood!

(grunting)

I'm gonna kick - do di dee.

(sighs) Oh, no!

Darkwing Duck is gonna pay big-time for this.

I'm gonna - gonna - Eggman!

Yes, sir.

(sighs) Thanks, pal. You're a lifesaver.

Set course for Oilrabia.

(lisps) Yes, sir.

I can still take Oilrabia.

Between the firepower of my battle cruiser and this baby,

the city will be throwing out the red carpet tout de suite,

and to top it off,

Darkwing Dodo is somewhere out there

havin' dinner with Davy Jones.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Hey, yo, surf's up, DW Dude.

Launchpad, you saved my life!

Hey, heroes are always savin' lives.

It's what we do.

But you might wanna save that thank-you part.

There's no place to land!

Whoa-oa! Whaa-aa-aa!

Whoa-oa!

(explosions)

One should always bring a present when arriving unannounced,

and I got a doozie for the princess.

Come on, we must save the princess.

Help! (coughs)

We're comin', Princess!

Help!

Hang on!

You are both my heroes.

Even you, my funny one.

(all yelling)

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Ohh!

We've gotta find a better way to stop.

(Steelbeak over bullhorn) Yo, Princess,

hand over your oil, or your people are history.

Not that I wanna be pushy, but you got ten minutes.

Whatever should I do? I need the advice of heroes.

If it's oil Steelbeak wants, then it's oil he'll get.

What? My people's oil? Are you crazy?

Maybe a little manic-depressive on weekends,

but I'm sane enough to know a couple of heroes like us

can overcome the likes of FOWL.

Launchpad, let's get dangerous.

Did ya hear that? He called me a hero.

Hey, you can't be a slave to a schedule.

It causes stress.

All right, Princess, time to -

What's goin' on?!

Hey!

What is happening?

You wanted oil?

Let 'er rip, Princess.

Hey, I'm the weather wizard around here.

I'll give that town a zap that'll fry 'em like a sausage.

Oh-ee-whaa! Whoa-whoa! Ha-ha! Whoa!

Uh-oh.

Gee, and me without marshmallows.

I really hate that guy.

I really, really hate him.

Gee, Princess, I'm not very good at goodbyes.

Hellos, either, for that matter.

My people thank you, as do I.

With heroes such as you, the world is a safer place.

Goodbye, my champion.

Well, you know,

DW here is the real her-

Ha-ha-hmm. Is the luckiest sidekick in the world.

Bye, Princess. Me and the boss have to be going.

Launchpad, I underestimated you.

As far as I'm concerned, we're colleagues,

brothers in arms.

You mean it? I sure do.

From now on, we're 100% equals.

Now get the bags. You got it, boss.

♪ Darkwing Duck

♪ Darkwing Duck

♪ Darkwing Duck

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪