Original subtitles

♪ Daring duck of mystery

♪ Champion of right

♪ Swoops out of the shadows

♪ Darkwing owns the night

♪ Somewhere some villain schemes

♪ But his number's up

♪ 3-2-1

♪ Darkwing Duck

♪ When there's trouble, you call DW

♪ Darkwing Duck

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing Duck

Darkwing... duck!

♪ Cloud of smoke and he appears

♪ A master of surprise

♪ Who's that cunning mind behind

♪ That shadowy disguise?

♪ Nobody knows for sure

♪ Bad guys are out of luck

♪ 'Cause here comes

♪ Darkwing Duck Look out!

♪ When there's trouble, you call DW

♪ Darkwing Duck

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing Duck

Better watch out, you bad boys!

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪

Six burglars, nine car thieves,

21 muggers, 11 kidnappers,

five international terrorists... (yawns)

...and a voodoo king with an army of zombies.

(yawns)

Boy, for such a slow night, I sure am pooped.

(crunch)

Aw, that's the last of the candied corn chips.

What do you say we stop off for a burger or three, DW?

How can you possibly be hungry?

You've been eating all night.

Hey, you burn a lot of calories thwarting evil.

Fine. Lovely.

I bet Tonto never made the Lone Ranger stop for burgers.

Did I just see...? Wasn't there just...? Nah.

Boy, am I one tired champion of righteousness or what?

Don't shoot. The cash is in the register.

(laughs)

Don't let the mask fool you.

I am Darkwing Duck, protector of the innocent, defender of -

You're not a robber?

Correct. I am not a robber.

You're just some weirdo in a mask.

Correct, I am just some weirdo in a mask. Hey!

You gonna order? But I'm...

I'll have two cheese food product burgers with fries, one Hippo shake

and an apple-flavored pie substitute. How about you, DW?

A new sidekick, perhaps?

That's 6.92.

Thank you and have a pleasant evening.

Uh, can you get this one, DW?

My hands are kinda full. Whoa.

Don't wanna spill any artificial additives on my lucky scarf.

(slurping) Ooh, tasty.

Can I have an extra... burger to go?

Talk about fast food.

Finally, our bleary-eyed bastion of bravery and bravado

heads home to his warm bed,

soft pillow, blue blankie and...

(Launchpad) Oh, no!

Where? What is it? Murder? Fire? Alien invaders?

I left my scarf at Hamburger Hippo's.

A crisis of epic proportions.

(tires squeal)

Wow, business must really be bad.

Looks like they just up and moved.

Don't be ridiculous, Launchpad. It's a crime!

Yeah, you can say that again. This was my favorite place.

Do you realize what this means?

Uh, uh, I need to get a new scarf?

(teeth chattering)

Something bothering you, citizen?

It... They had... I...

Perhaps if you begin at the beginning.

I thought I heard a noise out back.

I went to look, and when I turned around,

the whole place was gone.

Just like that. Poof. Gone!

I see. And did you see who did this?

No one. Nothin'. No one.

Put your worries in the deep fryer.

I'll solve this burger burglary

before your buns cool off.

With the midnight Mallard on the case,

no detail will be overlooked.

Let's see, now.

Whoever heisted the Hippo must be a very shrewd operator.

They didn't leave a thing. If only I could find a clue.

If only I could find my Hippo burger.

How can I sift clues when I'm hungry?

Maybe we're missing something,

something right under... our noses.

My burger! Gee, looks a little rare.

Don't be a booby, Launchpad. It's just ants.

Well, they're steali'' my burger. Gotcha!

Hey, let go! It's mine!

Don't feel so bad, LP.

After all, ants can lift more than ten times their weight.

Big deal. Anybody can lift ten times an ant's weight.

Right.

Well... there's nothing more to be learned here.

We could learn where those ants are taki'' my burger.

Must you get so obsessed with irrelevant trivialities?

Come, Darkwing Duck must disappear...

(yawns) ...with the dawn.

What are you trying to do,

lead Darkwing Duck right to me? Ohh!

I invented this headgear so I could talk to you.

But do you listen? Unh-unh. No.

All you ever do is just munch, munch, munch, munch, munch!

(squeaking)

Of course you can keep your burger. Ohh!

Yippee!

Onto the truck, double time.

Now, let's hope that Darkwing Ducky doesn't pick up our trail,

'cause we've got lots of shopping to do.

Ohh! How can I choose?

I'm like a kid in a candy store.

It's no use. Ha-ha.

I'll just have to take them all.

(tires squeal)

Oh, it's all like a beautiful dream.

What a collection I'll have.

Hurry, now, hurry.

It'll be light soon, and we've got to get our new little toys home.

Ohh! Yaah!

(yells)

(rooster crows)

(snoring)

(Gosalyn) Fore!

An easy six iron, wouldn't you say, Honker?

Have I ever told you the story of the little girl,

the golf club and the firing squad?

Now, please, I just want a little sleep.

(snoring)

Did you forget?

I never forget.

But, just out of curiosity,

which of the many things I haven't forgotten are you referring to?

The one where you take me and Honker to Goony Golf.

I was afraid it was that one.

Um, Gosalyn...

You're not trying to weasel out of this one, are you?

Actually, yes. OK, fine.

It's just that I'm so tired. No, it's fine.

We'll just play inside today.

Sometimes being a parent makes crime-fighting seem easy.

Gosalyn!

Honker, we're going!

Yippee! Goony Golf, here we come!

Hey, DW, look at this stuff.

That looks just like the St. Canard Trade Center downtown.

(yawns)

Nothing but a bunch of cheap papier-mâché models.

Yuck.

Greetings, Goony Golfers!

Admission for two adults and two tiny terrorists.

And a hot dog. I'm hungry.

Hey, more ants.

(whispers) Give me that! Heh-heh. Uh...

Happy golfing!

(spits)

(yawns)

(spits)

(yawns)

(spits)

(yawns)

Boy, what a dumb place to put a water main.

(beeping)

This isn't brain surgery, Honker. Just hit the ball.

I'm afraid the hole's in the opposite dir--

Oof!

Nice shot, Honker.

Thank you, Mr. Mallard.

You look kinda tired, DW.

Why don't you take a little nap

while I show these kids how the pros putt?

No, no, no, that's not - that's not... necessary.

(glass shatters)

(snoring)

Hamburger Hippo?

Launchpad's scarf. Hmm.

Either I'm dreaming, or this is a job for...

William Drakespeare! Oh, gah...

Wrong costume. Ha. This is no time for poetry.

It's time for... Darkwing Duck!

All right. Who's the joker with the flashbulb?

Boy, they really oughta mow the grass around here.

Now, I wonder where Launchpad went.

I might need some help on this case.

Whoa. Must be the jumbo economy size.

Wow! Some of these miniature golf things look almost real.

(roars)

OK, fine.

I'm... dreaming. Yes, that's it. Ha!

I'm dreaming, and to prove this, I shall pinch myself.

Ouch!

(roaring)

Nice snail. Pretty snail.

I'm surrounded by giant ants, but that doesn't bother me.

After all, I am the terror that flaps in the night.

I am...

the smallest, weakest thing in the whole place,

and I am also outta here.

Wait a minute. I can't panic.

I'm Darkwing Duck. So what if I'm in a land of...

(gulps)

...giants?

Yike!

(gasps) Gosalyn!

Down here! It's me, Darkwing!

Whew. What a relief.

If that's Gosalyn, I can't be in a land of giants. Ha-ha.

Sure. I've probably just been shrunk to the size of a bug.

Blech! Oh, there you are.

Thought you could hide from me, did ya?

I wasn't hiding. Hey, what are you doing?

What's a nice ball like you doin' in a place like this?

Hey, hey! Where are you going, LP?

Yoo-hoo! Down here. Hello!

(high-pitched) LP, help! No! Over here! Look!

(normal voice) Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Stop, stop!

(yelling)

Ho-ho! Good one!

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Ha-ha! Dexterous do-gooder Darkwing Duck

dips and dodges, deftly defying disaster.

Put her right over there, little ones. Ho-ho!

That's it. Excellent.

Soon all of St. Canard will be part of Goony Golf.

Ohh-ho-ho! Huh?

(all squeak)

You lost him?

Aha!

Mustard? You stopped for lunch, didn't you?

(squeaks)

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you.

Now, here's a little treat. (chuckles)

Maybe they'll help run down our little visitor.

(all cheer)

Now drive carefully. (chuckles)

(all cheer)

Good thing this costume is wash-and-wear.

Let's see. I might be able to make it to Launchpad.

But the slightest miscalculation could spell doom.

(chuckles) My kind of odds.

Right on target.

(buzzing)

Lot of bugs today.

Yaah!

Ha!

Saved by my cat-like reflexes.

(fabric tearing) Whoops.

That does it. No more cheap polyester capes for this duck.

(motors revving/ ants cheering)

What in the...? (yells)

Bugs in buggies!

Suck gas, evildoers.

You see, size isn't what's important.

It's being outnumbered!

(tires squeal)

Time for some serious Darkwing driving. Yee-haw!

OK, you ants. Eat my dust.

(squeaks/burbles)

So the bug wants to play chicken, eh?

(squeals)

That'll teach you to tangle with the masked Mallard, bugly!

I am home free...

ee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

Yaah!

(yelping)

(rattle)

That's it. I'm doomed,

doomed to an eternity of tininess.

They might as well call me Darkwing Dot

or Darkwing Dormouse or Darkwing...

something small.

How did they find me so fast?

(squeaking)

Whoa! I told Launchpad ants were strong.

So that's the scheme.

But why would ants want money? Hmm.

Guess I'll just have to find out. Bingo!

A master of disguise is never without options.

(laughs) Oh, that's it, that's it.

Right over there in a nice, neat pile.

Ooh! Very, very good! Now stand back.

(ants squeak)

Oh! Ho-ho-ho!

I do amaze myself. I do, I do, I do.

And you amaze me, too, Darkwing Ducky.

Fancy meeting you here. Ha-ha-ha.

Small world, huh?

Oh, let's see, now.

I could shrink you right out of existence,

but that wouldn't be sporting or as much fun.

Some fun. Yow!

Oh, come back here, you little ant impostor.

Yi-i-i-ike!

(all) Uh-oh! Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What am I worrying about that silly ducky for?

He's so tiny now.

There's nothing he can do to hurt me.

Youch!

Well, looks like I won't break par this time.

No, but you could probably break

a couple more windows, right, Honker?

(Darkwing) Aah!

Ew. Yuck.

Hoo-wee. Must be a stink bug.

Let me see.

Hey! That's no stink bug. That's...

Darkwing!

What happened to you? (squeaks) I've been shrunk.

What did he say?

(high-pitched) I've been shrunk!

Oh, gee, DW, I could've told you that.

That maniac is shrinking everything in town.

We've got to stop him. Let's get dangerous.

Whoa-ho-ho-ho.

Profitable business, this miniature golf.

(crash) (gasps)

Hold it right there, buster.

(stammers) The name's Lilliput.

Lilliput? That's kind of a silly name, isn't it?

Silly?

Uh, well, then, you probably think this is silly, too.

Actually, that's kinda cute. Launchpad!

Is something wrong, DW?

Ah. Time to say goodbye. I'm through playing.

Yeah? Well, I'm playing through.

Hey, no fair fightin' back! (chuckles)

Now I'm gonna have to sic my ants on you.

Ooh, like I'm scared.

(whistles) (ants cheering)

Whoa!

I oughta get frequent flier miles after this caper.

(rattles)

Whew. (coughs)

(giggling)

Stop it, it tickles. Ow! Hey, no biting.

Oof!

I-If I break this, he can't talk to the ants.

Aha! There you are!

(♪ ants humming fanfare)

These guys would be murder at a picnic.

(squeaking)

Time to bug out. Come on!

Have a nice flight.

Aah!

Bye-bye, Darkwing Ducky.

(all) No!

(high-pitched) Bye-bye.

No!

All right, you're history.

(squeaking)

Cuckoo Cola. That's it.

Come to think of it, I am a little thirsty.

(cans rattle)

(Lilliput) My ants! My little babies!

What have you done to my precious helpers? Aah!

What have you done with Darkwing?

Why, I merely shrunk him down to the size of a germ.

And now it's your turn.

(coughs)

(sneezing)

(whistling)

Wow! How does he do that?

Ahchoo!

Ahchoo! Ahchoo!

If he shrunk your dad to the size of a germ, maybe he really is...

A germ! (coughing)

Ah... Ah... Ah...

Ahchoo!

You're OK!

Yeah, I guess I am.

Oh, meet Blob and Ray,

a couple of germs who helped me give the ant man here

a bit of a head cold.

Ahchoo!

Nobody... Ah-Ah-Ahchoo!

...beats Lilliput that easily!

Ah-Ahchoo!

Nobody except... hi-yah!

...Darkwing Duck!

And so, after another amazing, amusing

and agonizing adventure,

Darkwing Duck finally gets the rest he so richly deserves.

Ahchoo.

In fact, he'll be getting plenty of rest.

Ahchoo.

And drinking lots of liquids.

Ahchoo.

Well, how was I to know I'd turn out to be contagious?

Ahchoo!

♪ Darkwing Duck

♪ Darkwing Duck

♪ Darkwing Duck

♪ Darkwing Duck ♪