Original subtitles

[♪]

Oh, nurse, how's my husband this morning?

How is he?

Did I come here to nurse a patient,

or that silly-looking tree he has in there?

Well, that's a rare tree, and worrying about it

has brought on his nervous breakdown.

Hm, well, I shouldn't wonder.

I've been running errands for it all morning.

"Give it a drink, give it some air,

put it in the sun, take it out of the sun."

Just be patient. I'm going to call a doctor.

You'd better get six doctors.

My feet are killing me.

MAN: Nurse!

[HUFFS]

MAN: Nurse! Nurse!

Mr. Winthrop, I--

A fine gardener you are. Look at that tree.

The only puckerless persimmon in the country,

and you're letting it die.

But I didn't -- Shut up!

Say something.

Oh!

Call for the tree surgeons at once. Get out.

And when they come, you can go.

You're fired.

Nurse!

Nyuck, nyuck. Mmph!

[SQUEALS]

Lubazac. Lubazac.

Lubazac.

Whozica. Whozica.

Whozica.

Pashcunyakas. Pashcunyakas.

Pashcunyakas.

[HONKS]

Cotton. Cotton.

Cotton.

Cotton. Cotton.

Cotton.

Oh!

The patient's ready, doctor.

Hike. Hike.

How about it, doc?

I don't like the sound of its bark.

[BARKING]

Ooh.

[TICKING]

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

What is it?

Two o'clock.

Why, I... Ohh!

[WHIMPERS]

Needs a transfusion.

Certainly. A transfusion is less confusion.

What's this?

Oh, just a little thing I picked up

to make big trees out of little saps.

Don't look at me.

[RUMBLING]

It's magic.

Certainly, before you know it, we'll have fruit.

Look. "Raspbereenies."

Oh, boy.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck--

Oh!

[BARKS]

[RINGS] [BARKS]

[RINGS]

♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪ ♪ Hello ♪

Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.

Dr. Howard speaking. I'm fine.

So am I. I get--

Ooh!

This is all your fault. Oh!

Start talkin'.

Yeah, yeah.

Can you come over to Mr. Winthrop's on Sunset Blvd?

We have a sick tree over here.

Well, you won't have it long. We'll be over. A patient.

LARRY: A patient. A patient.

Whoo-whoo-whoo- whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

What's the idea of packing the phone?

In case we get a call while we're gone.

You imbecile--

[PHONE RINGS]

Answer that.

Hello?

Ow. Ow, ow. Ow. Ow, ow!

It bit me. I'll bite you. Ow. Ow, ow. Ow. Ow, ow!

It bit me. I'll bite you.

Oh!

Nyuh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

[PANTING] What's the matter?

I got a transfusion.

Hey, Moe. Hey, Larry. Look what happened.

Stay where you are. I'll be right back.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Whoo-whoo.

Look, I'm a giant.

Well, I'm a giant-killer, and my name ain't Jack.

Well, beat me, daddy, down to the floor.

Nyuck, nyuck--

[GROANING]

Oh. Wait a minute.

I'm back to normal.

You'll never be that.

Oh, I bet you tell that to all the sturgeons.

Oh.

I dare you. Do that again.

That's not the same. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Oh!

That's the same. Oh!

That's the same.

Well, then get moving. Come on.

Gardener! Gardener!

Where's those tree surgeons?

I called them and they said they'd be over.

Well, phone them again. Y-yes, sir.

Nurse! Nurse!

Nurse!

Nurse. Oh, he's off again.

I wonder why the doctor I called doesn't get here.

MAN: Nurse! [SIREN WAILING]

Oh, that must be the doctor now.

MOE: Get the tools.

What's going on here? Get those tools out--

Ow!

Hurry. What are you waiting for?

Why, you termites, you.

[WHINING]

Oh.

[BOTH WHIMPERING]

This way, doctors. Hurry.

CURLY: You're telling me.

Ooh.

Where is it?

Why, the patient's in there.

Good. Oh, I'm so worried about him.

Cheer up. We kill or cure.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Doctor, what are those?

Don't worry, lady. We won't muss up the joint.

We'll even burn up the trimmings.

Come on. We gotta--

[GASPS]

Nurse? Nurse?

Well, what about it?

Looks like aphids.

"Ephids." "Iphids."

Oh!

Stop it. Stop it.

What about this?

We'll have to operate.

MAN: Operate?

But, doctor, you can't operate here.

Are you gonna tell us our business?

Ask her to leave.

Outside.

All right, come on, lady.

But, doctor--

LARRY: Outside 'till after the operation.

Oh, they're going to operate.

Operate?

This is a plain case of dry rot.

Cut off that limb.

They're gonna cut off his leg.

You're not gonna cut off any limb. Put that saw down.

Sit down. We know our business.

MOE: Hold him.

Cut off that limb.

Nurse!

[GROANING]

Oh, stop it! Stop it! [INDISTINCT SPEECH]

That's one of 'em. What about the other one?

[GASPS]

You vandals.

You've ruined my persimmon tree.

I've waited 15 years for it to bear fruit.

You have? Where's its mate?

Mate? It has no mate.

It's the only one like it in the country.

You ain't gonna get anywhere with a single tree.

This poor thing is pining away for a girlfriend.

Or maybe a boyfriend.

Quiet.

Are you sure? CURLY: Certainly.

Gentlemen, if you'll find me a mate for it,

I'll pay you $10,000.

We're on our way. Where is it?

On the isle of Rhum Boogie.

Rhum Boogie.

♪ Boogie-woogie ♪

♪ Boogie-woogie-woogie ♪

♪ Boogie, boogie, Boogie, boogie, boogie ♪

♪ A-boogie, a-boogie, A-boogie, a-boogie, a-boogie ♪

[DRUMS BEATING]

MOE: Keep bailing, she's sinking.

Land ahoy.

Ahoy, land.

We made it.

Pull her up.

Pull what you got there.

[EXHALES]

Four thousand miles, and I rowed

every step of the way.

[BLOWS]

Ah. Oh.

[SIGHS]

Where's Curly?

I don't know, he told me last night

he had a date with a mermaid.

Maybe they eloped.

Yeah, maybe they--

What?

He must be here already, here's his hat.

Go on, see if you can pick up his footprints.

Hurry up.

Hey, Moe, I'm picking them up.

Keep going, bloodhound. See where they lead.

Mush.

Mush.

[BOTH WHIMPER]

Hiya, snowflake. [BOTH WHIMPER]

Hiya, snowflake.

No snowflake. Kingfisher.

Oh, he's the Kingfish.

I know Amos. I know Andy.

[IMITATING ANDY] Hi, Amos.

[IMITATING AMOS] Hi, Andy.

How's lightnin'? I don't know,

but I think it's gonna strike any minute.

BOTH: Hallelujah. but I think it's gonna strike any minute.

BOTH: Hallelujah.

[GRUNTS]

[BOTH WHIMPER]

Boy, that was a close shave.

I'll say.

[GRUNTS]

What are you grunting about?

That ain't me.

You--? Uh...

[BOTH WHIMPERING]

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

[CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Call on king.

Bow king.

BOTH: Oh!

CURLY: Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,

nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[SQUEALS]

Listen, king, I--

Oh, Dr. Dead Rock, I presume.

Don't you have large monkeys in this country.

[CHUCKLES]

What do you mean "monkey," you scissorbill?

What are you doing in that outfit?

I had a dice game with the king. With my dice.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Nyuh! Hiya, king.

Ugh. You cheat.

Every time natural.

That's a coincidence.

[BONES CRUNCHING]

[SPITS]

[FRUSTRATED GRUNT]

Listen, chiefy, we came down here

to get the puckerless persimmon tree.

Stranger want tree? Marry my sister.

Okay, chiefy.

Man want marry you. You like?

No like. Me like fat one.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[WHIMPERS]

[BARKS]

[HISSES]

We marry now?

Oh, no, not that.

[BONES CRACKING] Ooooh. Ow.

There's an ideal couple if I ever saw one.

Good. Good. He marry girl,

you can take a tree.

Where do we come in?

In the stew. Roast stooge. Ha-ha!

[STOOGES WHIMPERING]

[DRUMS BEATING]

[WHINES]

This is all your fault, you pudding head.

If it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this spot.

You gotta get us out of this, you hear?

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You can't eat me, I'm too tough.

I'll give you indigestion.

[WHINES]

Marry me, and he won't cook you.

Say yes now, or I'll strangle you.

It's still no. Go ahead, bub. Make him stew.

Short rib.

Pork chops.

[GIGGLING]

Don't do that, I'm ticklish. Hee-hee!

Stew bone. Soup bone.

[ALL SCREAMING]

[STOOGES WHIMPERING]

Whoo-whoo.

Hey, fellas! The tree's in here!

Nyuh-uh-uh-uh. [NATIVES YELLING]

[WHIMPERING]

[YELLS, WHIMPERS]

Oh. The puckerless persimmon.

You're worth ten grand to me.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Oh!

[FRUSTRATED WHINE]

Ooh! Heh-heh.

Oh!

[FRUSTRATED GRUNT]

Oh. Oh.

You burn me up.

[FART]

[COUGHS]

Oh.

[HUMMING]

Oh!

[FRUSTRATED GRUNT]

[SCREECHES, GROWLS]

[YELPING]

Whoo-whoo-whoo. Nyuh-uh-uh-uh.

Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Hey, fellas! Where are ya?!

I got the tree.

Nyah-ah-ah.

Oof!

Ugh.

Huh. Ugh.

Oh. Oh. Why, you...

[NATIVES SHOUTING] Come on! Oh. Oh. Why, you...

[NATIVES SHOUTING] Come on!

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Hey, fellas, I lost the tree.

[WHINING]

Where are you?

Where are you?

Where are you?

[FRUSTRATED WHINE]

Oh. There you are. I could--

[SCREAMS]

Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!

[BARKS]

[STUTTERS]

[YELPING]

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[SPITS]

[SCREAMS]

[SNORTS]

[SQUEALS, TEETH CHATTERING]

Argh! [ALLIGATOR SNAPS]

[GROWLS] [ALLIGATOR SNAPS]

[GRUNTING]

Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!

[WHIMPERS]

What's the matter? I lost the tree.

Where is it? In the "alley-gutter."

In the alley-- Nyuh! Nyuh!

Now, listen, you lost it, you get it.

Get it? Did you see him yawn?

[BARKS]

You got nothing to worry about.

We'll tickle his stomach.

That'll make him as helpless as a baby.

Come on. Start ticklin'.

All right, get it.

No tricks, now, or I'll make a suitcase out of you.

Wait a minute. I don't know what I'm doin'.

I mean, I...

Hurry up.

[SCREAMING]

That might have been my arm.

Oh, tough, eh?

I'll fix him.

Out of my way.

I'll hold his upper jaw,

you put your foot on his lower.

Uh, I better take the upper.

I'll take a compartment.

Quiet. You'll take the lower and like it.

I'll take the lower, but I won't like it.

[WHIMPERS]

All right.

Now?

Yeah, put your foot in his mouth.

All right, ironhead, go on and get it.

[WHINES]

Hurry up, this belt is slipping.

[WHINES] You got it?

I don't know whether it's the tree or his tonsils.

Well, bring it out in the open.

Hurry up.

[WHINES]

I got it. Give it to me.

[GROANING]

What's the matter, kid?

I lost the end of my shoe.

The end of a shoe ain't important.

Well, this one is. I think it had my toes in it.

Why, you--

[ALL WHOOPING]

[ALL SCREAM]

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Hurry up.

Come on, start bailing her out.

Ah, great.

Whoo.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Whoo.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Whoo.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

[♪]