All language subtitles for Face.to.Face.2023.ARABIC.WEBRip.NF.en

FACE TO FACE

Pick up the phone, Sherif. Loop me in.

I can't explain right now. Just come over.

Magdy, I have no idea what's going on.

He just left me
six missed calls and a text

saying he's home
and wants me to come over.

See you in ten.

- What's up, guys?
- Pull over and come along.

What's going on?

Her folks are here,
and her bro's making a fuss.

- Why wait then? Let's go.
- Sherif's parents are handling it.

I just like to mess with her brother.

- You know how it is.
- I thought they were fine.

Nothing's "fine" when you're married.

- Why don't you go check it out?
- Yeah, his folks know you. You go.

- All right.
- We'll be on standby. Just give us a ring.

It's not a street fight.

Don't hold the cup by its rim.

Yes, ma'am.

I don't like this wishy-washy stuff.
We need to put our foot down.

Anything to put an end to this mockery.
Poor baby. Lady Luck hasn't smiled on him.

And if it doesn't go the way I see it,
Lady Luck will screw him over for real.

What did I do? What did I even say?

Don't say anything to anyone.

They are well aware
that we have the upper hand now.

The lawyer will send the papers shortly.

Then they'll be off to their place,
we stay the night at your sister's,

and we divorce them come morning.

You take it easy now.

- How's it going, Dalia?
- Hey, Wael.

- I see he wasted no time calling backup.
- I don't understand.

- He called me and...
- Come in, pal.

- Good to see you.
- How's it going?

Just great. Come on in.

- What's up, man?
- Well, hello there.

- So, your pal needed a couple extra fists.
- Come again?

- Enough, Selim.
- Don't mind him. Excuse us, please.

Good evening.

Move it, Wael.

- Is that a cousin of his?
- No, he's a childhood friend.

He wants to scare us.

- Did you hear what became of your friend?
- Let's hear it.

You should hear and heed, all right.

If it weren't for Dad,
I would've thrown them out on the streets.

We're not here to chitchat.
How come there's no word from the lawyer?

I swear, I just called the guy.

It's nothing. Or at least nothing new.

- Is it the money or the move?
- The money's already a staple.

You know how it is with work these days.
It's about the move.

It was a bad one though.
She gave me a mouthful.

I said some stuff too.

Defying your husband
and belittling him is called insolence!

Spare me!

- Yes, Mommy.
- Let's see if I can fix what you've done.

Just a sec. You...

Don't call anyone. You can't fool me
into this. I can be just as stubborn.

I can't talk to you anymore!

Have you lost your mind?

Hello? Dalia!

It got loud.

- Do you hear me?
- And who's on the line tuning in?

My mother-in-law.

You know she has a soft spot for me.

So I've heard.

You think she'd hang up
and call back to check on us, but no.

She came barging in with her moronic son
and doormat of a husband.

- During the fight?
- It wasn't over, but it was dying down.

- Auntie.
- Get out of my face.

Hello, Uncle.

Unbelievable.
Is there no end to this ordeal?

I'm good, thanks for asking.

- What is this?
- An intervention.

Lay a finger on my sister,
and you'll regret it.

- I'll have you kneel before her.
- Watch it!

- Have you lost your mind?
- One more word,

and I'll bag you in the trunk of the car!

- Seriously?
- He's a man's man. Top G.

What baffled me
is that Dalia didn't say a word.

I can put you behind bars today.
You're a threat to the girl.

Looks like there's no signal.
For the 100th time, I never touched her.

- Dalia, say something. Speak up!
- Don't threaten her. I'm capable of...

Excuse me, Mr. Capable.

Save it for the swindlers

who gave you the boot after taking
all your money... I mean, Daddy's money.

No offense, Uncle.

- Cheap shot.
- I was getting pummeled in my own home.

We're staying over at our daughter's.

Be a man and spend the night elsewhere.

As my elder, I'm showing you respect.

You are welcome at your daughter's home,
which is also mine.

Being a man doesn't mean getting evicted.
I'm not going anywhere. Excuse me.

- You can't bully us like that!
- So I'm the bully?

As always. When he doesn't like
what he's hearing, he just up and leaves.

You want to see a real bully?
I'll have you tied up,

signing the divorce papers
looking like a piñata.

The guy's a nutcase.

Which is why I called you over,
just in case.

When you didn't pick up, I called Magdy.
Lucky for me, he was with the boys.

And why bring your folks into this?

My father-in-law took the liberty
of calling them on his way here.

Actually, he takes no liberties.

"Your son's fighting with my daughter.
He'll be the end of her. Blah-blah."

They called, and I couldn't answer
mid-fight, so they hurried over.

I left my room only when I heard them.

I must hear this from her.
Tell me, girl, did he lay a hand on you?

He didn't,
but I'm not waiting till he does.

You should've seen him.
Shouting, thrashing, cussing.

I've come to fear him.
I can no longer stay in this relationship.

Honey, you can't make decisions
in this state of mind.

You always try to appease,
but nothing changes.

Appeasing solves nothing.

A normal person
would want to quell the conflict.

Appeasing is buying your way
out of a conflict with a gift.

Auntie slays.

Well, I'm getting slain here too.
She stares at me without saying a word.

Like she's always pitying me.

- Of course she's worried about you.
- I know, Wael.

And what's all this got to do
with Dalia's friend, Sexy Salma?

Wael. Stay with me, man!

I'm with you, buddy.
I'm just more detail-oriented.

Bottom line is...

If she wants a divorce,
I'll give her a divorce.

We can't keep flighting every other month
and sweeping it under the rug.

I only ask that when we divorce,
I get partial custody of my son.

- It's my right.
- Your son has rights and needs too.

Needs that must be provided for.

And who's providing for him now?

Or will his needs double
after the divorce?

There's a paper to be signed.
It's called a divorce settlement.

It will save us trouble in the future.

Now, take your son with you.
We're staying the night.

Baby mamas get the house.

I thought a defiant wife goes back
to her dad, not the other way around.

- Finally.
- Single mothers must be provided a home,

but she's not single yet.

Why do you want him out so badly?

He shouldn't be an asshole who leaves
the lady of the house with no house.

Watch your tone.

Dad thinks it's all about money.

If we divorce,
we pay the amount they want.

If we move,
we move to the place they want.

He sees it as a lose-lose situation.

Are you deaf?
I said I'm all for a settlement.

I'll sign your precious paper.

You heard it yourself,
she said he didn't lay a hand on her.

You can't kick a man out of his apartment!

He's unhinged.
I can't trust him with my daughter.

You go with your son,
and we stay with our daughter.

In her rightful home.

It's starting to sound like
you're secretly homeless.

Could be the case.
Well, I'm not driving this late.

My wife and I will spend the night here.

In our son's home!
Come on, boy. Get us a pair of pj's.

- But...
- My treat.

Come on, Dad.

- That's it.
- What a bummer.

What about Salma...

Stop simping for Salma!

I don't know. She got here before you.
Said she needed to charge her phone.

- Charge it where?
- Wael, focus.

Where do you think?

- What's cooking, hon? Is Mr. Mohab here?
- Yes, he's inside.

How's the missus?

Looks like she's good.

Sir, here's your prescription.

I'll be in the car if you need anything.

No, stay here. I'll need you.

Stay where? He's sleeping over too?

He's my driver and my guest.

You have people over, right?

My friends are welcome in my house
at all times, just like you.

But this is too much.

- Marital disputes are sensitive.
- I'm off. This is weird.

No, please just wait five more minutes.

- We're all family.
- Why are you talking?

Mr. Mohab, Wael is like a brother to them.

We called a brother,
and you called a crook?

- Mrs. Zeinab.
- Yes, a crook.

We're crooks.
What are you going to do about it?

- Just wrap it up.
- You wrap it up!

The lawyer sent a PDF of the agreement.

Let's have someone print it.
Then we can all sign.

I only care about my scheduled days
with my son.

There won't be much to schedule.

The agreement says you'll see your son
once a week for a fixed number of hours.

- Really?
- Daddy, we don't need to stick to...

We will let you see your kid
as long as you don't fall short

on his monthly allowance
or his mother's alimony.

A humble sum.

Say... 35 grand a month?

Then we won't do it by the book
so you can get more time with your son.

- What's the humble sum?
- Thirty-five grand.

On top of his school tuition
and his mother's alimony.

That makes you
either a swindler or a fool.

You rude bastard! I'll show you!

You're a couch potato who wants
to live off his daughter's divorce.

- So I need to shame you to silence you?
- Lowlife!

I'd watch my tongue, old man!

You've crossed the line, Selim!
Are you mad?

- He's cussing my father!
- That's my father too!

Don't try to scare me with your yelling.
I'll whup your ass!

I'll whup your ass,
then kick you out of here!

Do you hear what you're saying?

- Back off!
- What if I don't?

Calm down, Wael.

- Selim!
- Stop it!

- Step aside.
- Never mind me.

Get Wael out of there!

- Are you okay?
- Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God! What's going on?
- Shut it!

Man, just... Get out of my face!

- Get lost!
- Are you crazy?

- You're hurt.
- I'm fine.

- Oh, God!
- Not a word!

Yes, sir. Oh, God!

- Selim!
- Stay inside!

- What are you doing?
- Inside!

- Selim, no!
- Stay out of it!

What are you going to do
with that cute knife of yours? Come at me!

What the hell?

Who's banging on the door?

It's metal. You can't break it.

You think this will scare me off?

- Open the door!
- Sure thing!

- Sherif?
- It won't open!

What's this ruckus? What's going on?

Move it, boy.
What's with all the shouting up there?

- What's going on?
- Unacceptable! I'm calling the cops.

Let go of this thing.

What's with the commotion? Who are you?

I'm sorry, Haj Nufal.
It's just a misunderstanding.

This is not a frat house.
Families live here.

I apologize. Come in, Haj Nufal.

Did someone lock the door?

No wonder it's jammed,
after all that banging.

The lock pins must be all bent now.

You need a locksmith,
and it's already 11:00 p.m.

Where are you going to find one?
This door won't open.

Where's the locksmith?

Not a single one to be found.

I checked all of Mokattam
and half of Sayeda Aisha.

Are we clear to go,
or do you think we're still needed?

That depends on your moral compass.

I'd rather get stuck with them
so I have something to do.

That son of theirs
turned out to be such a thug.

I'm worried he'd hurt the kids.
We must do something.

Don't worry, Zeinab.
Now that we're all stuck here,

any squabble could be disastrous.

- Everyone will have to behave.
- They've locked us in,

and they'll gang up
on your son any minute.

I'll show you what I'll do
with whoever dares open his mouth.

- Enough! It's a miracle we're still okay.
- Let's not stir the pot.

No neighbors,
medics or cops can gain access.

If anybody gets hurt,
we'll end up dead or in jail.

We get it. We're not like
those goons. We're royalty.

What about the handymen you called?

Only the one from Fayoum picked up.
The others must be asleep.

Magdy is searching, but to no avail.

Nobody says a word or moves an inch.

We'll deal with them once the door's open.

What a joke.

An interior designer
who can't open his own front door.

Are you mad, woman?
Didn't you hear what you just said?

Sorry. I'm a loser who can't drag
the handymen here from their homes.

How could I, when I don't even have
a say in my own home?

Please. Let's see you guys handle it.

As a fellow engineer,
I can tell you this is not so simple.

It's past midnight. No one's available.

Why do you even feel the need to explain?
As if we like being locked up.

I'm telling you, call General Abdalla.

To do what?

He retired eight years ago.

Doesn't matter. And let them hear it.

Let them know we're connected.

Yes, General Abdalla!

It's Mohab. All's going well!

Of course the head of security
is a force to be reckoned with.

Me and my family have been attacked.

I'm calling to see if you can handle it.

Aziz, call Farouk.

- Who?
- Your pal, the deputy interior minister.

You think I'm a fool like your son in-law?

Farouk's older than me. He must've retired
ages ago. If he's still alive, that is.

Well, do something. Reach out
to your colleagues at the newspaper.

If this goes down,
your brother's gonna get the worst of it.

Everyone's acting on their own,
saying it's in my best interest.

Just so everyone
keeps themselves in check.

Goodbye, sir.

That's the situation we're in.

Of course, I'm very sorry
for calling you at this hour.

My regards. Take care.
Where are you going, Zeinab?

Nana, how are we going to resolve this?

- Mrs. Zeinab, we were just saying...
- Wait.

How do you want to resolve it?

Dalia, do you want a divorce?

I think we can no longer
look each other in the eye.

Let's not, then.

Looking his parents in the eye
every day is more than enough.

Dalia, I'm asking you.

Do you want a divorce,
or is this about the move?

That's not the point at all, Auntie.

It's just a simple example
of how little he cares about me.

He wants to move me
from my apartment, my home,

and make me commute when I return to work.

That's not the case at all.

Truth is, I can't afford to pay
ten grand in rent every month.

Which will become 16
when we renew the lease.

We'd agreed this was temporary,
but now she wants us to stay,

in case she gets a job back
that pays 5,800 net.

So what? Her job is her future.

It'll save her from needing
to depend on anybody.

And that 5,800 is what she'd depend on?

Your daughter buys these big bottles
for the bathroom.

They look like shampoo,
but only God knows what's in them.

Those bottles alone cost 2K a month.

See? Auntie, you're the only one
who even asks me what I want.

We've become distant.

I can't stay with a person
who doesn't see me.

And I only care about my son.

Sorry to butt in, but if you only care
about your son, surely you know

he's better off with his mom.

That goes without saying, of course.

Provided that his dad gets to see him.

And when he turns eight,

he'll need his dad even more,
and that is his lawful right.

"Was" his lawful right.

The law now states that the kid
stays with his mom till he's 15

and only sees his dad three hours a week.

Then, when he's a grown-ass high schooler,

they go, "Do you want to live
with Mommy or Daddy?"

After years of only hearing shit
about Daddy. I know how the game's played.

You do good by us,
and he won't hear any shit about Daddy.

- Cool it, Selim.
- You cool it, Wael.

Who are you to speak?

- Watch it, Selim.
- Don't start!

- Don't raise your voice at me.
- Don't start a fight.

- Unbelievable.
- I won't have it.

- Unacceptable.
- Cut it out.

- That's enough, Wael.
- Knock it off.

I can't believe how these so-called elites
tear each other apart like animals.

Reminds me of my neighbor Nagla's divorce.

That's because their men are sissies.

A proper household
is where the man is dignified.

- Dignified how?
- By the book.

Our blessed Lord
dignified men and put them on top.

Those guys are making it up.
There's no such thing where I come from.

They're like Westerners in Egypt.

Mr. Sherif and his like
seek out these model-type chicks,

then whine about how difficult they are.

The irony.

He only asks that the agreement allows him
to see his son when he wants.

And how do we know he won't kidnap him?

And how do we know
you won't keep his son from him?

Dalia, you believe Sherif would do that?
Can a father kidnap his son?

- Auntie, you're escalating the situation...
- Yes.

He can.
And from what I've seen here, he might.

I prefer a legal arrangement
to an amicable one.

- You sure?
- I will not compromise when it comes

to the rights of my child and grandchild!

Neither will we!

Our son has the right to raise his kid.

- And he won't divorce.
- No, Dad, I just...

Girl, isn't it your way or the highway?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

Then that's that.

You can file for divorce.
There are six gates to Zananeer Court.

Just tell us
which one we'll be meeting at.

I knew it!

- Mommy, Daddy!
- Yes, honey.

What is it, pumpkin?

- I'm scared of all the shouting.
- No, dear...

What the hell? The kid's here?

Thought he was at a sleepover.

We deserve to be jailed, really.

You may be right, but at least
I'm here defending my sister.

Why are you here, tough guy?

- Come on, let's...
- Walk with me, Salma.

Come on, baby.
Don't be afraid. Mommy's here.

I've never seen him go to Friday prayer.
No wonder his home is so godforsaken.

It's a whorehouse.

When these people get together,
it's all hugs and kisses, man to woman.

Or when they go on holiday.
Partying, showing skin.

Those "bad bitches", man.
They're always so fortunate.

Hope the mister and missus
are not fortunate enough to make up.

I went all out with the old geezers.
If they make up, I'll be the asshole.

- They're the ass...
- Mrs. Dalia!

Shaimaa, please pack Adham's things
in a big suitcase.

- Kahoul, give her a hand.
- Sure thing.

I was just telling Shaimaa
that you're such good people,

and goodness begets goodness.

You don't deserve any of this.
It must be an evil eye.

It all came to nothing,
and I can't even hug my own son.

Don't be dramatic.
They can't take him away from you.

Thanks, man. You got involved,
and now you're stuck here.

Not at all. We're brothers.

I appreciate it.

By the way, you still got
some of that beer in the fridge?

- Yes, but...
- Don't worry about it.

I'm not worried. It's just that we're...

We're bros. Our secret.

It's because we're bros.

- For my morale...
- Hands off.

It's fine. I get it.

The kid shouldn't hear any of this.
That's why I called you

to come pick him up
when Sherif refused to leave.

Do you see now
why I'm against marriage and kids?

God knows Adham is the only reason
I'm still here, watching life pass me by.

Men think they can buy us
with a piece of paper.

You either give in to patriarchy
or become a spinster.

Your best bet is raising your kid
as a single mom away from all this.

You freaked me out.

So?

- Stealthy enough?
- Stealth is already out the window.

This family feud is on full blast.
Like the stuff we read about in the paper.

I'm in shock.
Your in-laws are seriously messed up.

And I've never seen your dad like this.
He straight out cussed the guy.

I can't believe it.

Feels like a nightmare.

Remember how Sherif used to be?

I can't believe all along
there was this dictator

behind a liberal progressive facade.

And to think you were once
an exemplary couple.

If I were crazy enough to get married,
I would've also gone for something like...

"Crazy" doesn't even begin to describe it.
Don't ever get married.

Forget about
all that I preached for years.

And if you do marry, don't have kids.

The thing you care most about

will be used as leverage against you.

This isn't even the Dalia I knew.

As soon as the move became a reality,
she changed.

They bought an apartment for their son
even before our engagement.

I said I'll consider it,
but it's not working out.

The thing with men is,
they only do what's convenient for them.

And you, as a woman who works,
commutes and has kids to tuck in bed,

you can just go to hell.

The thing with women is, they're not men.

What are you saying?
Bro, don't get any funny thoughts.

Do you always think about sex?

I meant to say they're not men
of their words. They say they're okay

with your situation, then they're not.

They just take it back.
They're not man enough to keep their word.

You know there are women
who stand by their word, right?

Hope you get to meet them.

Your leniency back when we were discussing
their marriage arrangement

sure is paying off now.

Not true. When I came back for holidays,

you used to tell them
I wanted this and that,

and I played along,
so don't fool yourself.

I don't care
if they live downstairs anymore.

It's my fault for not having a girl.

It's not about the move.

It's more than that.

As a man, I'd never allow my son
out of the house without my permission.

You'd think they'd be relieved.
My sister can't feed her kids.

We begged her ex to take them,
but he wouldn't have it.

Women who choose
to be single moms are crazy.

Even if their husbands are roaches.

Not all roaches are the same.
I'm a straight shooter.

I'm not sure
if I'll be able to see you after today.

Why are you looking at me like that?

So what if you don't see me?
We don't even know each other.

And if the dream couple gets divorced,
we never will.

I'm into you, and I'm willing to marry you

as soon as that door opens.
Just say the word.

Why do you want to pin it on me?

You don't even know
what happened in that fight.

She humiliated me.

How can you just send them off?
Do I have no say in this?

I called you a million times.

Sent you a hundred texts.
Your phone was off.

You're not going to fool me into this.

Honey, fool you? My phone died.
As I said in my voice message,

the movers would come
pick up the boxes and the other TV.

Two weeks ago, I told you

that I'm not getting banished to Zayed.

You got all sulky, we dropped it,

and then you decided
to have your way anyway.

We don't even use this stuff.
It's just clutter.

And now I've paid those guys
700 pounds for nothing.

That's because you chose
to have your way without asking me.

Then you give me an earful
when I spend 900 pounds at the store.

Yeah, why should I pay 900 pounds
for some paint tins or whatever.

- That was cheese!
- Which only you eat.

Why should I pay 900 pounds
for stuff I don't eat?

Because you're supposed to be a man.
And a man puts food on the table.

What the hell are you saying?
What is this insolence?

Challenging my manhood?
You've crossed the line!

Don't put words in my mouth!
I'm not insolent.

Defying your husband and belittling him
is called insolence!

Spare me!

- Yes, Mommy.
- Let's see if I can fix what you've done.

Where are you going? One sec.

Don't call anyone.

If it's about being stubborn,
I can be hard-nosed too.

Then I should break your hard nose off.

Try me.

I can't talk to you anymore!

Have you lost your mind?
What is this madhouse?

Any man would've raised his hand.

Not me, but in the heat of the moment,
I smashed some stuff.

I didn't mean to,
but she said I'm not a man.

Who does she think I am? A pushover?

None of that happened.

I never cussed him.
I never said he's not a man.

He's trying to justify it.

How can you just send them off?
Do I have no say in this?

I called you a million times.

Sent you a hundred texts.
Your phone was off.

You can't fool me into this.

I told you over voice message
that my phone was dying!

I said the movers were coming
for the boxes and the TV!

What more should I have done?

When we talked two weeks ago,
I told you I wasn't feeling it.

Why should I get banished to Zayed?

You went all sulky and walked out on me.

It's just clutter!

I paid them good money,
and you just threw it away.

You're the one who threw it away.

You would've given me an earful,
had I spent it at the store.

An earful and a mouthful!

Nine hundred for those plastic containers!
For paint or whatever!

Those are the cheeses we like!

Cheese? Nine hundred for some cheese?

And you expect me to keep my mouth shut?

It's the man who puts food on the table.
And the woman gets to choose which.

Hey! I won't tolerate this insolence
about being a man and whatnot!

You'd better watch it!

Please, don't put words in my mouth!
Don't call me insolent!

Defying me and belittling me
is called insolence!

God help me. Yes, Mommy.

Let's see if I can fix what you've done!

One sec, Mommy.

Please, don't call anyone.
And stop trying to twist my arm!

I can be just as hard-nosed as you!

I'll break your nose off!

Let's see you try.

There's no talking to you! There! Happy?

He's the one who started it.

And suddenly he's smashing things around
like he's deranged.

All I said was that the man
is supposed to be the provider.

I don't know how I put it exactly.

I don't remember exactly.

As soon as she said I'm not a man,
I went off the rails.

Are you kidding me? You have to remember.

You know I'll always have your back,

but if we're doing this, you should
dot your i's and cross your t's.

No, I'm sure.
She said, "You're supposed to be a man."

But in front of our folks it's, "Nah.
That's the man's job. That's all I said.

I'm scared of him." Nonsense.

How else would I react, idiot?

- You're breaking my heart, hon.
- What's with you?

- Why the attitude?
- Here's why.

You have a wife who's a working mother.

Now you want to leech on me too?
Shame on you, you quarter of a man!

I can't have my daughter
and grandkid want for anything.

- Sure. I'll be like a father to him.
- Save it.

Let's take initiative,
so they don't mess with us.

Don't talk big.

Take it easy. You're living on a pension.

Get me the lawyer on the phone.

Do you think those classy people outside

would give their daughter away
to a married man?

Or is it because I'm a maid?

Actually, because they're men of class,
they'd never oppose what's halal.

Mr. Mohab's brother took a second wife,

- and I was his witness.
- Why are you full-blasting this scandal?

Trying to be convincing.

I'm telling you, buddy.

They'll give you hell after the divorce
unless you rough them up.

That stunt they pulled

is enough to get them in cuffs
and have them sign whatever you want.

I have a kid in bed.
Anything I do will have consequences.

The key point
is that you stand your ground.

He'll be hesitant to divorce.
Men don't like women having their way.

I can kidnap the child if necessary.

Come on, man. Magdy?

If he doesn't stop being a control freak,
he'll see me in court.

If they do that,
they only have themselves to blame.

Magdy, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

- Here.
- It's like talking to a wall.

He's just like her.

And dial it back a little.
It's not a party.

Come on, man. Loosen up,
so that you can think straight.

By the way...

And I'm just thinking out loud here.

If, God forbid, you and Dalia
end up divorced...

- Whatever God wills.
- For sure.

You wouldn't mind me going after
her friend, Salma, right?

Wrong?

You'd still mind?

There you are, Dalia.
Uncle Galal says he'll give them hell.

The law's on our side.

How are you, dear?

I asked you about her
back when you first got engaged.

- You went all conservative.
- To hell with the both of you.

As always, you oppose
my hobbies and interests.

Hobbies?
I just don't want it to get messy, is all.

Dude, it doesn't get messier than this.

Sorry. Too soon.

- It is too soon.
- I know. Sorry.

You're right, though.
This is the messiest it could get.

Man, what just happened over there?

What's that?

Come out! Hurry!

I want Sherif in particular to hear this!

Come on, Mr. Sherif!
You want a formal invitation?

- What?
- Join us, will you?

- What is it?
- No idea.

Listen up. Mr. Galal Panther
has something to tell you.

I have him on video here.

You can google him
if you don't already know him.

Charmed and jarred, Mr. Panther.

This man will have your son behind bars.

Calm down, Mr. Mohab.
We can talk our way through this.

There's no talking to these people.

The father-in-law was just schooling us
about Zananeer Court and its gates.

- There's six of them.
- I can easily

drag you through the courts.

Mr. Mohab's daughter is my own!

I won't have him pay a single penny!

Meanwhile, your lawyers
are going to suck you dry.

First, I'll...

You will be subpoenaed...

Then another warning...

Looks like you reached the data limit.

That's number one. Number two...

Sorry. We didn't catch number one.

- Can you repeat the last bit?
- I was warning the opposing party

that there's no end to these procedures.

I didn't want to come out swinging,
but I'll say it again.

First, we'll...

- He needs a new Internet bundle.
- Let me take over, Dad.

Why? You have an antenna for a hand?

- Don't you have an iPad like his?
- I do. Why?

Ignore him and his paper panther.
They're phonies.

And that's it.

Is he asleep?
Do me a favor and stay by him.

- He's the one I really feel bad for.
- True.

What's going on?

Talk to Dalia, Salma.
This is getting ugly.

I could say the same to you.

The thing with divorce is,
kids get the worst of it.

Dads just move on with their lives.

I get you, totally.

If he looks at it from a non-patriarchal
point of view, he'll see he's at fault.

A hundred percent.
Patriarchy can be bad for you.

He's shameless. Him and his nasty folks...

Let me stop you right there.
His folks are the best, so don't overstep.

I'm not.
It's just how I see it being Salma.

- Salma. Is that spelled with a double M?
- What?

I find this very tricky.

How do you spell that on Facebook?

Creepy.

Salma, I don't want you to worry.
We're all rational adults here.

We have a lawyer for you too.

Am I supposed to be scared of Serag?

Mr. Serag was my late father's neighbor.
A legal connoisseur.

Your legal connoisseur got butchered by me
in ten court cases!

He's a loser, ma'am.

He built his reputation
on being a slandering charlatan.

Me? What about that case where the girl
accused six guys of raping her?

By God's grace, I was able
to get the six of them exonerated.

- Oh, God!
- What is this, Daddy?

- Silence.
- Poor guy.

He's making things up
so he doesn't feel inferior to me.

Easy, guys. You're supposed to
reconcile us. Why not just come over?

And the water ballet team that got
their money back despite your defense.

Water ballet?
Again with the sick fantasies.

Get over yourself and see to your wife.
She's disgracing you everywhere.

And you call me a slanderer?
You heard it yourselves.

My wife doesn't know you.
Hasn't even heard of you.

The missus came to me personally.

She was referred to me by good people.
Mrs. Zeinab,

just to prove it to you,
go to any library,

and you'll find a 500-page book
written by his wife.

It's called The biggest pain
from the smallest thing.

- That's enough, Zeinab.
- By God, I'll...

No, ma'am. There's plenty
of good lawyers out there.

Your neighbor's not right for us.
Nor is that one.

I'll have you jailed, I swear!

Good evening, Officer.

Please get them out of there, sir.
There's a young boy.

After you win the divorce case,
you can file for alimony.

We have years ahead of us.
And we don't care if he sees the boy.

What the hell? I care.

His son won't even remember
what he looks like.

We won't grant him visits unless you
report that we don't every single time.

And we don't care about the alimony.

Mr. Mohab can support a whole nursery!

Don't push it.

They're having an online hearing.
Ring the bell, boy.

Mokattam PD!

- Oh, God!
- Goodbye, sir.

Move it.

Sir.

Help, sir! My daughter nearly got killed!

This family abducted us
to make us waive alimony.

Liar! Her son tried to attack my husband
who's more than twice his age.

- He had to! This man is...
- Nana, Mom.

Let's just talk.

Did General Abdalla send you?

I'm Mohab, the victim's father.

- Abdalla who?
- This is a malicious report.

These people are blackmailing my son.

- Excuse me. Whose apartment is this?
- Me. Eng. Sherif Aziz.

- Can you open the door, please?
- Open it? It's locked.

His goons locked us in.

- Stop lying!
- Me?

Hold on. The door's jammed.

It's metal.

Aren't you here
to break them out of there?

No, I can't break in without a warrant.

So you're just going to leave us stranded?

- And you are?
- I told you. I'm the victim's father.

- Where's the victim?
- Dalia.

Mrs. Dalia, have you been attacked?
Are there any injuries?

- No, but he could've...
- I thought so.

Seems to me this is a family dispute.
I trust you're all civil.

You need a locksmith, not an officer.

I can't believe it.
You're going to leave us in jeopardy?

- Looks like I have to call the higher-ups.
- And you are?

Look, sir. I can open this door for you.

But if I do, I have to report
that your daughter was assaulted

by your son-in-law and his friends.

We'll bring them over to the station,
see if they can survive the night.

- See?
- I'll also need to report

that your son assaulted a tenant.

He'll be spending the night too,
under the same charges.

That's what I thought.

But I'm not leaving you like this.
I'll do what I can.

Amin. Get the number of our locksmith.
Do them a favor and wake him up.

- Good night.
- Good night. Thank you for the trouble.

Sir, her folks are slandering liars.
Sherif is a decent man.

If you care about them,
have them resolve it amicably.

We received noise complaints
from almost all their neighbors.

I've been up since 6:00 a.m.
I'm so sleep-deprived.

- Then sleep.
- How could I, with everyone around?

- I'll stand guard at the door.
- You're the one I need guarding from.

- I must shake it off.
- My area of expertise.

I'll make you the chauffeurs'
secret energy potion.

No, thanks. I'm not popping pills.

God forbid. I'm not a pillhead.
It's my late father's recipe.

It's organic and shit. You'll like it.

Sugar,

instant coffee,

and some soda.

- Bottoms up.
- I'm not drinking that.

It's obvious now. They're up to no good.

We're outside,
so my folks don't hear and freak out.

Magdy, my parents and my son are here.

- I swear I could kill him!
- Good, don't tell them anything.

Trust me, we'll handle it.

Hang up. I'll call you back.

Evening, sir.

Remember me?

I was with the guys you just chewed out.

You were like, "What's all the commotion?
Families live here" or whatever.

Remember?

Edit the report title
and send it back to me.

Talk to you later.

Honey, did you send
your test results to Dr. Serafy?

Now's not the time, Zeinab. Leave me be.

Sorry again, gramps.

I know it's late.

But it's for the poor boy.
You're a good Samaritan, right?

Only when threatened.

I know that lock very well.
You can't crack it with a screwdriver.

I'm familiar with locks.
There's a way to it.

I'll just give him the screwdriver
and talk him through it.

And what sort of basket
has a three-meter rope?

It's on the petite side.
Nothing beats good old community baskets.

Could you please hold this for me?

This too. Thanks.

What are you doing, psycho?

Get back!

Listen, pal,
my friends are down there filming.

If you touch me and I fall, it's on you.

You'll be on death row.
You didn't see me, understood?

He's nuts.

You're hardly ever home.
This is the most I've seen of you.

Now's not the time to discuss my illness.
We have enough on our plate.

Like I said, I won't go under the knife
as long as I'm functioning.

- Hey, Uncle!
- Oh, my God!

Hey, Auntie.

Yes, Dad. Say what?

You crazy bastard.

You're unbelievable, you chimp.

Why are you so proud of him?
He didn't climb Everest.

He could've died and doomed the lot of us.

- Anything for you, pal.
- Oh, please.

There's three of us now. We got this.

Yo, check out how they're looking at you.

They're like, "The junkie is here."

I've always been clean, man.

Damn. I forgot about that.

This junkie is bad news.

He's the one who jammed the door
and locked us in.

Made them say we hired thugs to get them.

They're right. He looks like a felon.

What do I do? Forget it.

You can't recover from this.
Your priors are carved in stone.

- Priors?
- Wait till Dalia sees him.

Isn't he the one who brought you
those chicks at the jazz club?

Jazz club? Come on,
I've never even been to one.

Don't worry. Dalia's having a meltdown.
She won't notice.

How about this? We take the offensive
before they take the defensive.

That's the same thing, you dweeb.

Are you sure he has the knife?
Maybe it's lying around somewhere.

It's the only big knife in the house.

We don't want it to end up
in the little boy's hands.

Do you hear me now?

- There's no signal.
- Here's your buddy.

- Hi, Magdy.
- Hey, Selim.

- How did you get in here, Magdy?
- Same way you did, Selim.

Fine, Magdy.

Bye, Selim.

That's it?

He has a way with him.

- Way to go, Magdy!
- He's fuming.

Just go ahead without me.
I won't be able to catch up.

I might even spend the night.

I have to go.

Magdy, Sherif's pal, is here.
I don't know how he got in.

What?

Maybe he climbed the stairs
or jumped off a roof.

- What's your hubby up to?
- And I lost the knife.

I put it down when the landlord showed up.

- Must be lying around somewhere.
- I checked everywhere. If only I had it.

No. They have the knife,
and they mean no good.

I'll call a friend and have him bring me
a gun. I need 8,000 pounds, Dad.

Don't even bring up money.
I'm at the end of my tether.

You know how much the lawyer's asking?

I thought Dalia
was like a daughter to him.

Fifteen grand for a video call.

I'm cheaper. Just give me eight.

I'll buy a gun, shoot the door open,
and out with Sherif and his posse.

Sure, dear. So instead of paying
the lawyer 15 grand, it'll be 150,

just in case you need to sleep
in the captain's office,

so as not to fall from grace
in the detention center.

- Where are you off to?
- I don't want his money!

I want a divorce!
Now, will you all please just back off?

- Don't be intimidated by their antics.
- Stop escalating!

I don't want my son to find
his parents' names in the news!

They want to leave you
without a penny to your name.

Really? You're the ones
who asked for divorce.

Because she's being threatened.
Sneaking his thug friends in,

keeping the knife tucked away,
waiting for his moment.

- The knife?
- This is complete nonsense.

You had it last,
and now I can't find it anywhere.

Be reasonable.
Your nephew's sleeping in there.

To hell with all of this.
Sherif, I beg you.

If you have the knife, discard it.

Don't buy into it, Mom. He's bullshitting.

Mr. Aziz, rashness benefits no one.

The court will secure her rights anyway.

No one's being rash,
but this is too one-sided.

You keep saying
that we're denying her rights,

throwing around figures and whatnot.

I've nothing to say to you.
See you in court.

You actually have it backwards.

I once had a maid with six children.

She fought in court for more than
three years and got nothing.

My daughter's not a maid.
She's upper-class.

Her rights are safeguarded.
She's not from the streets.

What do I care whether you drink it?

And now we add a touch of magic.

What's wrong, hon?
I see sadness in your eyes.

Don't you shed a tear.

I can't let you...

Shit.

Doc, is there no other way?

You think I'm a coward?

Fine, then.

No, I just don't like hospitals.

All right. I'll call you back in two days.

My regards, sir. Take care.

- What's this? Were you eavesdropping?
- Not at all. What did the doctor say?

- It's nothing.
- I overheard.

I noticed. It's inappropriate. Maybe
that's what you do with your husband.

I'm warning you.
Do not say a word to my family.

It wasn't intentional, I swear.

I'm really worried about you.

You've always been like a father to me,
ever since Sherif introduced us.

But have it your way. I won't tell a soul.

By the way,
I've never eavesdropped on Sherif.

Or even went through his phone.

Ask him if you don't believe me.

Excuse me.

The best thing you can do is distance
yourself from all of this. Honestly.

All the fighting and the...
What's up with you?

I no longer feel safe
after what I've heard.

No longer feel safe?

So all the shit that went down before
was just friendly fire to you?

No, but after what I've heard,
I feel threatened by everybody in here.

Sure.

Even you.

It's like any minute now,
you're gonna reach into your pants

and pull out that knife
they're talking about.

Yeah, sure. The knife.

It's just, he way you put it...

I don't get why you're laughing.

I'm just laughing. It's not a crime.

But you can rest assured that I won't be
pulling out any knives out of my pants.

Don't push it.

- Chill out.
- Try calling again.

He's not picking up, Selim.
Don't you have his number too?

He picked up an hour ago
and told you he was coming. Now he's MIA.

Didn't this smith give you another number?

You heard it all, man.

Why would I hide his number?
He's not a girl I'm after.

It's not the only thing
you're hiding from me.

Hold up.
I'm actually glad you mentioned this.

I won't say it again.
Don't be stupid. Your nephew's in there.

Don't try to fool me. It's with you
or your dad or one of your thug friends.

- So now they're just my friends?
- And always have been.

I was stupid.

I was just a tag-along.

God help us.

- What?
- I want you to trust me. Don't worry.

Nobody can harm Sherif
as long as I'm alive.

- God spare us all from harm.
- I understand your concern.

They're just so full of themselves.
He could easily kill her.

- How can you say that to me?
- I mean, a man can go on a frenzy

and find blood on his hands
when he comes to.

My cousin is a college professor
over in Kuwait, and...

Shush. I've heard enough.
My son's a decent man.

He won't go on any frenzies
so long as he steers clear of rogues

and psychos
who have lost their goddamn minds to...

God have mercy.

Is something wrong?

- It's nothing.
- No.

Uncle should know.

She's worried.
She fears for Sherif, as expected.

But fear not. I'm here.

And I don't care
if someone dies by my hand.

- Here we go.
- What do you want, boy?

How can you say that at a time like this?
Do you have no sense?

Can't you read the room?

- Sorry, Uncle. I apologize.
- Just forget it.

- What?
- I'll handle it.

Handle what? Boy!

Oh, God.

Good evening, sir.
Let's keep this civil. We're family.

Excuse me. Who are you again?

Sherif's bro.
Calm down and praise the Prophet.

Praise the Prophet.

What does any woman want from any man?

Security. She needs to feel secure.

Say your daughter gets divorced,
would she feel secure?

She'll stay safe and sound
in her home with her son.

Her son. You said it yourself.

Now, what if the bad guys find out
that the kid's estranged from his father

and get crazy ideas about kidnapping him?

What's he saying?

- I guess he's threatening to kidnap Adham.
- How could I kidnap my nephew?

I'm actually sorry about that.
I didn't mean to insult Uncle.

I never insult elders anyway.
You know that.

And I did apologize.
I never meant him any insult.

Should I get Dalia to tell you
how much we love him?

No, don't. Thanks, Selim.

God knows we love you folks too,
especially Auntie.

Pardon me, but if word
of Dalia's divorce got out,

you'll find a burglar
in her home every night.

You dare threaten us, you lowlife?

- No need to get nasty. I didn't say much.
- What's wrong?

- What's your deal, Magdy?
- Selim!

I'm holding back
out of respect for my brother's home.

So shut up,
or I'll throw you out the window.

Quit it, Magdy!
Why did you even approach them?

I was trying to...

Trying to tell me
that you're going to kidnap the kid

and have burglars
rob and rape my daughter!

Aren't you too old for lying?

Shut up, scumbag!

You're the prince and I'm the scum,
but at least I didn't cheat my friends.

- Cheat whom, you son of a...
- Shut up, both of you!

Get out of here, man!
I don't want your help! Out!

I'm sorry. I apologize.

To the lot of you.

- My fault.
- Come on, now.

- You...
- Stop it, Magdy!

- It's over.
- Go after him.

You did the right thing.

Otherwise they'd start bargaining and
auctioning you off. Is that what you want?

Your son will stay with you.
You'll get everything you ask for.

You don't even need
to be arguing with him right now.

Get your divorce, sit pretty,

and he'll be the one dying
to fulfill your every wish.

He loves the kid.

He'll do anything to see him.

Unless you prefer them to set the rules
and name a price for you.

You want to buy your freedom with money?
Are you that cheap?

Dalia, come show me
something in the kitchen.

Think about it.

Okay.

Shimo. Listen here.

- Shimo.
- What the hell?

- What's up with her?
- Sleep deprivation, ma'am.

Some people can't handle the long hours.

- I'll go check on her.
- Come here. I need you.

Come over here. Take a break
from hedonism and help me out.

Yes, sir.

Sir, he said "Abdalla who?"

Did I wake you up?

Hello?

Make me a black coffee. You...

Damn you and your mistress.

Are you sure about it?

All right.

Run it in the online paper.

- Okay.
- Look.

Talk to you later.

Shaimaa.

Me?

Any other Shaimaa here?

I don't like that name.

What name do you prefer?

I don't know. My name reminds me of sheep.

Shai-baa.

Get it?

Is this funny to you? She's on something.

- She sure is.
- I want to be frank with you, Doc.

I'm not a doctor, but go ahead.

I've always respected you,
since we see you in the papers and on TV.

Appreciate it.

You're a cuck, but you're smart.

Shut up, you rude brat.
What is she on, Aziz?

He lets you and the women
of his family walk around

with your heads uncovered
and your clothes flashy.

That makes him a cuck.

If you're so against unveiling hair,
then why did you throw your scarf away?

My scarf?

Where's my scarf?

You threw it away, smarty,
along with your blouse.

What?

I'm unveiled!

- I'm unveiled!
- What is she on, Aziz?

No idea. But whatever it is, it's good.

We could use some
to get through the night.

I'm unveiled, Doc.
You unveiled me, you devil of a man.

Say what?

I'm unveiled, folks! I'm unveiled!

- Girl!
- I'm unveiled, people!

I'm unveiled, Doc. I'm going to hell!

No, dear. You're going to heaven.
Just back away.

What is she on, Aziz?

What do you care what she's on?

Help me get her before she jumps
and condemns us all to hell.

Let me get my scarf.

You threw it that way, you loony.

I'm unveiled, people! Help me!

Somebody, help!

- This is so boring!
- I know what you're baiting me into.

- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Fine.

- I'll destroy you, as always.
- Magdy, my man, we're alone in here.

There's nobody here to fool.
Last time we played, I won 4-0.

- What about my 3-1 win?
- That was a year ago.

My win counts as four of yours,
you cheater.

Cheater?

You think I'm bribing the PlayStation ref?

Sure...

In the mood for a good pounding?

- A good "powning," you mean.
- Don't! Come sit with us, man.

I know you're as sick
of that circus outside as we are.

So I should forsake my sister's rights?
That's what you want?

I don't want anything.
I'm just saying, come smoke your cig.

We won't bother you. Consider it a truce.

I'm in for a truce.

I get it. Really.

Anything else bothering you?

She's pestering you
to give up your rights.

If she cared about you, she wouldn't
help him ditch his responsibilities.

Mommy, she knows my pain.

I'm sick of this life of indignity...

A life of indignity is one
you waste in a failed marriage.

At 20 years old, I married your dad.
An arranged marriage, I might add.

At 23, I was a mother of two.

I didn't even get to finish college.

- Daddy never denied you anything.
- Let's not kid each other.

I knew he wasn't the one for me,
only I realized it too late.

Back in my day,
divorce was the ultimate taboo.

But life dealt you a better hand.

And don't think your husband
will be as docile your dad.

As for your friend, you'll come to see
that she has ill intentions.

No way. What are you saying, Mom?

Shall I remind you of her little incident?

- No, I know. I just don't feel...
- I'm your mother.

I only have your best interests in mind.

No more, no less.

You don't just make a thief out of me
in front of your business partner.

You took the money. Why put it on me?

I hit a rough patch, and I would've
paid him back, had you not outed me.

I didn't. He found out and confronted you,
and you threw me under the bus.

You should've covered for me. That's why
I came to you in the first place.

You've always covered for Sherif!

Yeah, for things like smoking
behind his parents' back

or staying out late
behind your sister's back.

Doesn't mean you get
to make a thief out of me.

Guys, come on. We're not here to fight.

Really? Then what are we here for, smarty?

I see. We're here
because you jumped Sherif and his folks.

And to keep it civil between him
and your sister, whom I consider my own.

Put yourself in my shoes.

Your mom calls, saying your in-law is out
to kill your sister, what would you do?

Don't you know Sherif?
He was like a brother to you.

Do you believe he'd raise his hand
to hit a woman or even a man?

Guys, let's not get worked up.

Oh, Mama!

Come now, Shaimaa. Don't sulk.
I'll get you another scarf.

Shaimaa, what did you take?

Kahoul's secret energy potion.

He spiked it.

- Did you hear that, Aziz?
- Sir. The burnout's got her tripping.

I'll make her some coffee,
and she'll be as good as new.

- Why not give her Kahoul's magic potion?
- Secret potion.

Whatever! What did you give her, you punk?

Nothing! It was for me.
I turned my back for a sec,

and she chugged it down like a pro.

- Pro? Does this look like a pro to you?
- Never mind that.

- What's in it?
- Immunity-boosting vitamins.

Really? Do you take me for a fool?

No, he also takes you for a cuck,
but he won't say it.

Get off me.

You rascals. And to think
I was worried for you. Spit it out, boy.

- Tell me what she had so I can fix it.
- Half a Teekos.

Half a Cheetos?

I'm usually fine eating the whole bag.

No, the Cheetos comes
after the Teekos. We...

Just let me handle it.
I'll make her better.

What if you unknowingly make her worse?

I'll give her saltwater.
There's no harm in it. She'll just puke.

Sure, have at it. And make no mistake,

I'll be coming to check on her
every other minute.

Now get lost!

Yes, sir. Come on, Shimo.

- You'll get better.
- The place is full of crooks.

- I'll perk her up.
- Step on it.

Kahoul, where were you
when I got stripped down?

I'm here now, Shimo.
Strip all you like. I'll cover you up.

Goddamn you.

Will he score?

- No!
- Yes, here we go.

How about that?

How about that, huh? Selim's my witness.

- This is unfair.
- How? It's a bloody computer.

The game favors your team
because you pay more in ads.

Poor you. I say you save your breath.
He's a lost cause.

He's a stand-up guy though.

Ever since we were kids, any problem
of ours automatically becomes Magdy's.

He just loves to have his plate full.

- My problem didn't make it to his plate.
- I can only stomach so much.

Maybe you need to take a dump.

- Funny.
- Make some room for dessert.

It's the locksmith
the cop sent to open the door.

- Find Sherif.
- Can't I sit back for a minute?

All right, folks.
What seems to be the problem?

That locked door right in front of you?
Open it, please.

I'm an academic. I need to study
the situation to do the job.

Study what, you dimwit?
Just open the door already.

1-0. Gramps just cussed me.

- Excuse him. He has a foul mouth.
- Watch yourself!

No, guys, please. Now's not the time.

Uncle, Dad. Please, just sit this one out
and let me do the talking.

I'd give a kidney to get this open.

Keep the kidney. I'm not an organ dealer.
He cussed Mahmoud El-Aidaroussy,

- and he must pay for it.
- Damn right.

Grown-ups, apologize.

- Me? Apologize to this rat?
- 2-0.

- Should be 3-0. It's an away goal.
- Just apologize, Mohab.

Fine. I apologize.

An exemplary husband.
Followed the orders right away.

Watch yourself or regret it!

You be the judge. Would you have your wife
treat you like that in public?

Dad. Please.

Let's mind our business
and get this door open.

- Work your magic, Roussy.
- That's Aidaroussy to you.

Say my name.

- Just say it, man.
- El-Aidaroussy.

- There you go.
- Now open it.

- And the foul-mouthed geezer?
- I said I'm sorry, your Grace.

Words can't heal a wounded pride.
It takes more than that.

- How much does it take?
- A score of 2-0. Make it 200.

There's your 200.

All right. Now, back to the question
that Grumpy Gramps interrupted.

Dad, let it go. Ask away.

I want to know in detail
how you jammed the lock.

Why, though? It's none of your business.

With all due respect. I'm broke.

You may be right. But sharp as you are,
you should've noticed

that I'm the only one who can save you.

So I get to say what's right or wrong.

Happy now? We ended up
at the mercy of a scumbag.

I'll spare your money
and pretend you didn't call me that.

Mr. Aidaroussy,
we've been stuck here for hours now.

My kid is sleeping inside.
Now, will you please open the door?

You know what?
You just went straight for my soft spot.

- What's that? Your heart?
- No, sir, it's beautiful babes.

The girl's a solid ten.

- That's my wife, you pig!
- You rascal!

Please, Shaimaa. I beg you.

Just drink the saltwater.
It'll screw your head on right.

I already got screwed.
The rest is history.

He took it. The Facebook guy.

- Took what?
- He took it and ran away.

- What did he take? Spit it out!
- My money.

My savings. He took everything.

Thank God.

- Easy, guys!
- You hear what he said, Dad?

Will you shut up and get to the point?

Come on. You're right, son. Guys, please.

Forgive and forget.
Let's get this over with.

- Right. Let's get it over with.
- Wrong.

Though I only meant it
as a compliment to the missus.

It's 1-0 to her. Here's my fine.

So? We're back to nil-nil?

Now get us out of here.

You in particular
make me hesitant to open the door.

You're like an angry bird who'll bite
his owner once he's out of the cage.

- I'll bite you, all right!
- Easy, buddy.

Don't worry.
No one's biting you, trust me.

All right, guys, relax.
I want to know how you ended up like this.

And don't lie to me.
The cop told me everything.

What's the point then?
Don't you want to leave with the money?

I need to know who's paying me.

You're mid-fight. What if you go at it
again and nobody pays me?

You stupid imbecile!

- Easy!
- Why not just say so?

- You'll concede a goal, Magdy.
- Damn right.

- How much is it?
- A hundred.

Here. Now open the door.

- No, that's for the swear jar.
- By God I'll...

That's it!
Magdy, if you please! Everybody!

I'll do the talking. Understood?

- Why you?
- Because it's my place.

Back to square one.
This is my daughter's place.

Don't you see what they're doing?

Nobody pays that man but us!

I don't care who pays,
I want to do the talking.

You should've explained it plainly
for Mohab to get it.

- Exactly.
- Shut up. He's mocking you.

- Watch yourself!
- God Almighty.

As you can see, this is
my weirdest workplace encounter yet.

Two respectable-looking families
brought face to face by fate.

- What are you doing, man?
- It's for my YouTube channel.

To my viewers I say,

please like, comment
and don't forget to subscribe.

Put it down before I step out
and smash it in your face.

You called me here
because you can't leave.

Of course he'd exploit the hell out of us.

You can't talk to the dipshit
and won't let me do it.

He's right there, Mr. Diplomat.
Have at it.

Have at it now? After he snagged a 1-0?

Here. Take it.

All right, people.
Let's choose our spokesperson.

No, you're the majority.
You'll chose one from your side.

It's not our fault
you want to be the only voice.

- I never said that!
- Your actions say it loud and clear!

As you can see, my dear viewers,
democracy is not for everyone.

Oh, Mama!

Don't beat yourself up.
Money comes and goes.

- That's what that swindler said.
- Well, that backfired.

- He took my money.
- Shaimaa.

And you want to take my cherry!

Shaimaa!
Don't let the pill screw with your head!

- I want you as my lawfully wedded wife.
- Liar!

Easy now.

- We have a problem.
- What is it?

- This door needs a locksmith.
- Yes, we... What?

- What?
- Did I hear that right?

- What are you, then?
- I'm a junior smith.

My senior's sleeping,
and I can't wake him.

I need the tools from the shop,
and it doesn't open till 8:00 a.m.

- A junior?
- So the academic is a sham!

He's been playing us!

- That's 4-0.
- I swear, if I catch you outside,

I'll settle this score for real!

- Till morning, then.
- Hey!

Spread love, not hate.
And take care of those babes!

- You son of a bitch!
- Bastard!

Help me, people!

- Don't you run away!
- Oh, my God!

Stop it, Shaimaa!

What's gotten into you, girl?

What's wrong with you?

Calm down! Put that thing away!

Put it away!

I said, put it away!

Thank God. She's up.

What happened to her? Must've been drugged
by one of your junkie friends.

- Why are you pointing fingers?
- Speak the truth, boy.

Your chauffeur drugged her.

Nonsense. Kahoul would never do that.

He already did.

I can't believe you did that.
What'd you give her?

It wasn't like that. I just put
some razzle-dazzle in my coffee,

and she gulped it down
like the pig she is.

Yes, she's on Cheetos!

What do you care what she's on?

It's all drugs!

You do drugs?

You can forget about that job of yours.
Get out!

We're all stuck here,
if you haven't noticed.

And I'm not the only junkie in here.

I buy your downers for you.

Liar! Those are just prescription drugs!

You never gave me a prescription!

All the drugstores kicked me out,
and I had to buy them from my dealer!

Shut up. I don't want to hear a word
from you until this door's open.

You're all scum. The whole lot of you.

Shaimaa, snap out of it.

You?

- You used to be the man of my dreams.
- Me?

I used to sneak around at night
and eavesdrop on you and that chick.

I'd rest my hand on my heart...
and picture you.

- Picture whom?
- I'm not going to picture you, am I?

Don't mind her. She's in la-la land.

Shut her up before I kill her.

She's not in her right mind, people.

I was head over heels with your son.

Till I found out he's a fool.

Well, now you're talking.

He must be a fool
if he has you for an in-law.

Kahoul, take this girl inside
and snap her out of it.

Come on, clean up your mess.

Yes, sir.

Don't touch me.

Shut the door.

I have to say, Soli, the girl got you bad.

She said your friend's a fool.

A fool to have your dad as an in-law.

- She didn't say that.
- Really?

If only we filmed it like the smith.

Yeah, for the YouTube channel
"Shaimaa's Confessions."

Will you cut it out
so we can unwind with a couple games?

- Sure.
- Let's go.

You're jinxed.

- Where to?
- Adham's alone in there.

- He'd be scared if he woke up.
- Let's go, then.

Does the power usually go out here?

Not at all.
It's the first time since 2013.

- Someone must've jinxed it!
- Watch yourself!

Oh, God! Don't be so touchy.

Get us some candles, boy,
before our phones die.

What's with all the candles?

Don't you think it's overkill?
I'm romantic enough already.

Get off my back.
They'll be useful. You'll see.

What's with all the liquor bottles?

Couldn't even throw out the empty ones?
Are you that proud of them?

No wonder my daughter finds it
a dysfunctional home.

Lucky you came at the right moment.

See that bottle? It was on a table
at the birthday party where I met Dalia.

- There was a sippy-sip left...
- Alcoholic's lingo.

There was a sip left that I was eyeing.

But Dalia chugged it,
even though she wasn't a drinker.

She threw up, of course.
It was disgusting.

But anyway,
she kept the bottle at your place.

As a memory.

She bought me this one
so that I stopped drinking outside.

It's from the airport.
Tasted bad, so it went down the drain.

- Sure, but you should...
- You haven't heard the rest of it.

Now, that one... That's from your niece.

She came over with her husband
and brought this bottle.

Dalia only kept it because it looks nice.

So out of all the stuff here,
I only have four beers to my name,

which my friends and your son
chug down as soon as they visit.

You're the man of the house.
You should take the reins.

Excuse me.
It's just funny coming from you.

I told her to put those things away,

or the maid will think you
a slut or something.

She's not educated,
so she tends to be judgy.

You're shameless.

Why? You thought me careless,
so I wanted to assure you I'm not.

Rest assured that Dalia and I agreed

she'd stop doing anything
that could put her in a bad light.

But that takes time,
because that's how she's been brought up.

Dalia knows how to behave.
You don't get to school her.

Do you want me to take the reins
or stand on the sidelines?

I don't understand anymore.

Do you think we've seen it all
on this splendid night, Zuzu?

We're yet to see an alien invasion.

I wanted to have a word with you,

as a judicious and circumspect person.

- Sure.
- I prefer to have this word in private.

I don't keep anything from Zeinab,
especially if it concerns her.

It's okay. We're one and the same.
I was going to the bathroom anyway.

I'll miss you.

- Take care.
- I'll try.

Go ahead, ma'am.

You may have your judicious
and circumspect conversation.

I'll marry you, Kahoul.

Is that you or the drugs talking?

I already said I'll marry you.
Don't get under my skin!

All right, Shaimaa.
And I'll divorce her, just like we said.

I'm not a home-wrecker.

- You truly are a fountain of wisdom.
- Just like my dad.

He married a young girl with Mom around.
What's the big deal?

- No shame in that.
- So my mom cooks the food,

washes the clothes, cleans the floors,

and he gets to enjoy himself
with the young girl.

- You dare question God's will?
- I hear you, Shaimaa.

Mom can have her share of life
in the hereafter.

That's why she didn't stay long.
Kicked the bucket in her late 40s.

But I want my fair share in this lifetime.
First, you should cut your hair.

Do it like Mr. Sherif.

I'll pay his barber a visit
once we get out of this place.

- Your muscles.
- You like them?

- I want them like Mr. Sherif's.
- Guess I'll hit the gym too.

- Just like his!
- Fine, Shaimaa. Just relax.

You have to speak English like him.

And try to nail his smile and gait
while you're at it.

Seriously?
Why don't I just get him for you?

- You'd be doing me a big favor, Kahoul.
- Bitch.

I don't want this to affect my dear Doody.

That's why I'm insisting
that your son provides well for him.

That is a matter of judgment.

What you think appropriate
I find excessive,

because Doody is just a child.

Not to mention, Sherif can't afford it.

Fine. I'm willing to reduce it
to 25,000 pounds.

There's no need to bargain here.

Rest assured that Sherif
will splurge on him with all he's got.

I wish we had a secret stash
like you think we do,

but unfortunately, my son's forced
to bargain with you for his boy.

Mr. Aziz, I'm only hoping
we'll find some middle ground.

I mean to resolve this with grace.

No, you don't. Only difference this time

is that you've got a smile
plastered on your face.

Am I wrong, Enaam?

I made a mistake coming here,
trying to keep it civil.

The mistake is getting between your girl
and her husband, who are also parents.

Until a few hours ago, I thought I was
in the right. But I don't mean to argue.

- Maybe you're right.
- A husband...

Uncle, please.

I may be confused, but I know
I don't want to be a husband like you.

- Say one more word, and I'll...
- Sorry. No offense.

Bur seriously, I can't see my marriage
ever emulating yours.

I'm not surprised.
Thirty years of marriage,

- and I never once upset her.
- You mean you never went against her.

And still, she gets upset
and even crosses you.

Is it so bad for a man
to keep his woman happy?

No, but not at the price of his dignity.

Even I get upset
with the way she talks to you.

Especially in public. Honestly, it's why
I never want to go out with you guys.

Don't be a fool.

Do you think it's easy
marrying a woman to your liking,

only to find her indifferent to you
after two kids?

Either you fight it out or sit it out.

- I believe it's the right way to go.
- What about our divorce?

Is it right for your grandson to grow up
between two houses?

If you can no longer stand
to live together.

We're still in love.
That's what matters most.

Dalia is not just my wife.
She's also my lover.

My best friend.
The girl who I entrusted my soul to.

We dreamed together. We overcame a lot,
and without anyone intervening.

I really don't know why you insist
on divorce instead of reconciliation.

- I need you to understand...
- Actually, I know why. Your wife said so.

And if she walked in right now and said
otherwise, you'd go along with it.

- Again with your insolence.
- Sorry. I didn't mean it like that.

But I don't want you to wreck
your daughter's home with your passivity.

I mean, your cowardice.

Sorry. Your timidity? I mean,
your humility and easygoing nature.

I want a peasant girl for a maid.
To look down on her and call her names.

- You'd make a good peasant.
- I won't cook,

I won't clean, and I won't do any laundry.

Or why would I let you keep the old one?

I'm not into that stuff. I'm into...

You've made your point. Loud and clear.

And I don't want any questions from you.

"Where are you going? Where were you?
Why are you chatting with Mr. Sherif?"

Is he here to stay or what?

- Even after we marry?
- He stays here, and here.

We'll talk when you come to your senses.

I'm not talking with no sissy.

You're crossing the line, Shaimaa.

You're totally okay
with me drooling over Mr. Sherif.

And you're divorcing your wife for
a girl like me. That makes you a sissy.

I'm restraining myself
out of respect for your trip.

It's Sissy from now on.

You're going too far, Shaimaa.

Sissy.

It's growing on you, isn't it?

Don't force yourselves.
There's plenty of...

Excuse me.

Sure, Uncle.

- So? Any good news?
- No.

He was lecturing me about manhood because
he didn't like our decorative bottles.

I'm with him on that. It's childish.
You think you're being cool?

I can do what I want.
It's called personal freedom.

Come on. That's so yesterday.

Don't be old-fashioned like your father

and go on preaching
about personal freedom and all that.

- Really?
- The majority of people are hypocrites.

They throw stones
while living in glass houses.

And here's the guy who can't keep
his family in check lecturing you.

All right, wise guy.
Aren't you hiding something?

Avoiding the operation is not wise.

Are we discussing my choices now?

You're one to talk, with this
lovely family day you're hosting.

Shut the door.

What now? I thought you fired me.

Kahoul, you're one of us. I'll talk to Mom
and have you back on board.

- Roll us a couple joints.
- You called me over for weed?

Don't be rude. Just roll a couple.

I got nothing on me.
I even lost my Teekos to Shaimaa.

Here. Make two with this.

You're the man.

You're a real bro, Magdy.

That's a bit too late.

My cigs are real cancer sticks.
Can I use yours?

And what are you contributing?
A pair of lungs?

"HELP! DOES ANYBODY KNOW
A LOCKSMITH PLZZZZZZ?

WE'VE BEEN LOCKED IN FOR
SOME TIME WITH THESE BARBARIANS.

LET ME SAY WHOEVER'S THINKING
OF GIVING THEIR DAUGHTER AWAY

MUST FIND A DECENT FAMILY

THAT'LL REMAIN SO
IF THEY SEPARATE."

What a rude woman.

"SURE, SHARING
SUCH PRIVATE MATTERS

AND EVEN LYING ABOUT THEM
IS DECENT."

Hello?

No, I'm fine, Sara.

Yeah.

Mother-in-law's comment?

- My mom posted what?
- It's blowing up.

Each of them has supporters,
and now they're all fighting.

Auntie Zeinab says,
"You and your friends better watch it.

I can't even tell you apart,
from all the Botox."

And she replied to the lady
who commented, "Low-class."

That's my mom.

She's a beauty.

What is it?

What do you want?

I shouldn't have given in to my feelings

and betrayed the woman
who provided me a living.

What nonsense are you saying? Get lost!
Mom's already got me at my wits' end.

- That woman is nothing but trouble.
- Girl! I'll cut your tongue out!

One word, and I'll take it all out on you.

I don't blame you.
That's what traitors get.

- We discussed this a million times...
- Let it go. No surgery if I can help it.

Yes, Zeinab. What?

- What's wrong?
- Just let it slide.

- Yes! Finally, a peacemaker. Thank you.
- No problem.

- Let it go.
- That's what I'm talking about.

Fine! Damn the both of you!

- That was short-lived. What is it?
- Your mother. Her mother.

Motherfucker.

I said, "You and your sister
have no manners,

you pieces of..." and left it at that.

Because I'm not stooping down
to their level.

Of course. You're too classy for that.

Oh, God!

Is this funny to you? It's a scandal!
Everyone knows my home's in flames!

Do something, Dad! Come on!

I can't control your mom
when it comes to this Facebook phenomenon.

You can't keep it at bay. Sahar says,

"Serves you right for agreeing
to this marriage. Sherine was just fine."

And now they're name-dropping.

I bet Sahar is her mom or some aunt.

Let's hope we don't find my name in there.

Sherine was just fine indeed.

- And who's this Sherine?
- Don't play dumb.

Even I know her. She's the shorty

who comes with her mom
every Ramadan to fire shots at you.

Post it. Make it interesting.

Let it go?
Her relative cussed me and the girl.

- Isn't she too old for that?
- Bless your heart and tongue, Mama Fufu.

You said what I couldn't say.

Mama Fufu? How come she's up this late?

The real problem is that
your mother-in-law is typing.

Try to contain your mom.
Mama Fufu is where she draws the line.

She's their granny or auntie or something.

It's out of our hands, anyway.
It's in God's hands now.

That's enough, Mommy.
I beg you. Don't reply to her!

No! She'd better not go after Mama Fufu!

- Not Mama Fufu!
- Not Mama Fufu!

- Not Mama Fufu!
- Anybody but Mama Fufu! Please!

Sheesh!

Game over.

Listen, you snake.

If it weren't for that little kid
in his bed,

I'd chew you up and spit you out.

Look. Last time,
I barely kept my son from hurting you.

I'm not sure if I can do that this time.

A bird called for me at the window

It said, hide me, I beg you

You're the one who invaded my privacy,
along with your friends.

You might as well have tagged us.

You should've blocked me, then.

Do you hear what you're saying?

Even we're too old for such a fight.

- Our mutual friends said you were wrong.
- They're not my friends.

I only accepted their requests
because they're on your friend list.

From now on, I won't...

Do you hear that, Selim?

- Women who can actually think.
- I'm free to post whatever I want.

Yeah, that's my mom.
She's fighting, as usual.

- Yeah.
- But Auntie Zeinab fighting is unusual.

Follow our example, and maybe
your husband will finally notice you.

- You're such a bitch.
- That's enough, Zeinab.

You're an insolent woman.
If you're considered a woman, that is.

I'll show you real insolence right now!

Enough with the trash talk, Zeinab!

- Are you yelling at me?
- I am!

Go back to your seat
and mind your business!

- Come on, Mom.
- There you go.

Easy.

Take it easy, son.

You reek of that shit you're drinking.
The girl will still be here tomorrow.

- I'd better go. This is becoming too much.
- Please do!

You see what I mean?
Get yourself out of this hellhole.

- Don't you think you're overdoing it?
- Meaning?

Meaning, any other girl
would at least try and pretend

that she's talking some sense into me,
but you just can't help yourself.

Why won't you answer me?

I don't want our fights to be heard.

You get way too loud.

Are you crazy? Or did Shaimaa's speech
make you think all eyes are on your man?

Little do you know, Sara told me
what happened seven years ago.

When we met Sherif,
you told her you had a crush on him.

And when we hit it off,
you asked her to keep it from me.

Having a crush is not the same
as being curious. I kept it from you

- to avoid exactly this.
- You added him on Facebook before I did.

And I added two other guys
and hooked up with a fourth one.

Don't you know me already?

Still, you should mind my image
in front of others.

It's because I'm so mindful of it
that I didn't want you getting obscene.

I'm your husband, not your boyfriend.

So you let that airhead
have her way with me.

I was a bank manager.
I have a master's degree.

Being sensible doesn't mean
I have to be docile.

I wouldn't have married you
if you were docile.

I did this because I cherish you.

Sure. You get to go off the rails,
yelling, cussing and wreaking havoc,

but God forbid I ever let
a single word off my chest.

That's how much you cherish me.

If you're going to be that stubborn,
then so be it.

You just push for divorce,
no matter what I tell you.

Even today on the phone
when I called you over.

You only see it your way!

Even if I liked him, which is not true,

your stories would make me hate him,
along with all men.

If he's back in your good graces,
then that's your problem, not mine.

He's not. I don't want him,
but don't think for a minute

that you'll so much as see him
if we separate.

Get us out of here!

Get a smith or a carpenter, anybody!
Or I'll throw myself out a window!

Salma! This achieves nothing.
And keep it down. The kid's asleep.

Sure, after all that mayhem,
my voice will be the one to wake him.

Because I'm the bitch who's got her eyes
on your husband and your son.

- Stop it! I never said that!
- That's exactly what you said!

I'm jealous because I want your husband.
Who would've thought?

- Come inside. Come on, keep it down.
- No!

You turned out to be a heartbreaker.

What a plot twist!

My heart's open 24/7

You're making me blush, man.

- What's wrong?
- Always turning the tables.

I'm the one who's mad at you,
and now I have to appease you?

As if Sherif wasn't already enough.

I don't care what happens between you two!

Not at all. To be honest,
I noticed something of the sort years ago,

but I ignored it.

I even forgot about it.
This is overwhelming.

I get it. You're saving her for yourself
instead of being a player team.

- You mean, a team player.
- Whatever!

I'm keeping you away from her
because she turns you into a savage.

See? Even talking about her
makes you lose control.

Is it any piece of meat at this point?

- What? I came for the beer.
- "The beer"?

From way back in college?

Whatever you don't like, you judge.

You were a loser I couldn't shake off
who'd always pester me for advice.

Just forget all I ever said

and move on with him,
and I'll never set foot in your home.

You're the best, buddy.

You're going to be a single man,
and you deserve your fun.

- You can start with Salma.
- She's all yours.

You did your waiting.
I'm not up to date on your status,

but I'm sure you're doing okay.

See?

They'll make a villain out of you.
Throw you under the bus.

I don't want to talk about any of this.

- I'm just trying to get you to loosen up.
- I'm good.

To hell with whoever sees me as a villain.
That's their issue.

Exactly. As long as you're sure
of your drop-dead-gorgeous self.

- Thanks.
- I'm serious. I mean...

You're a real homey.
Are you free tomorrow?

I have this thing
I want to discuss with you.

We're like-minded,
and I'd like to talk without witnesses.

Why don't we go someplace and talk?

Let me check what I have on tomorrow.
I might be free, actually.

Talking on Messenger takes forever.

Let's exchange numbers.

You got what you wanted?
Men really are stupid.

Always in a hurry,
thinking that they're the hunters.

Works for me, though. I'll show that bitch
that I'm not the jealous single friend.

- Save it and text me.
- Sure.

You think I believe
I'm suddenly irresistible to you?

It's all a show for your friend.
I'm just a tool.

You got it?

- Got it.
- I'll call you.

Okay.

Fine by me.

I can be a tool.

Dalia.

You're okay with this?

I'm not the one who yelled
and turned it into...

I'm not talking about our fight.

I'm talking about people
meddling in our affairs.

Even if they have nothing to do with us.
We haven't spoken at all.

Did I stop you from speaking with me?

But still, you have the right to walk away
and leave me fuming,

until I cool off and come back
all somber, ready to talk.

You can forget it!

I won't cool off!

And what is there to say, anyway?

You know very well
that this has been going on for a while.

We never resolve the core issue,
but we do patch things up.

The stuff about being fed up and reaching
a breaking point, I don't buy it.

No, I'm just bluffing and playing it up
because I'm dramatic, right?

It's all an act to get you
to do what I want, isn't it?

You're dramatic, all right.

But that's not it.
This time, it's about people.

Your folks, my folks.
Your friend, my friends.

They saw it all,
and that's what you can't get past.

That's how you end up
with a broken fridge.

I'm not denying the problem. But all
this meddling blew it out of proportion.

And I'm to blame for that?
You're the one who can't get over it.

You're the one who can't accept it all
happened in front of your sensible father,

his exemplary wife
and your alpha-male friends.

Not to mention my dad and brother,
whom you've always found "different."

You're right.

I won't deny that it got me worked up.

But I'm facing it.

Now you face yourself and...

And stop looking over my shoulder
to see if they're watching.

Look at me. Look at your son.

Our son is the reason
I've put up with so much already.

Meanwhile, you're doing great.
After every fight, you move on just fine,

with an outing
and a couple drinks or a smoke,

but the wifey stays home
to take care of the kid!

We already have our problems,

but we got dragged into the beef
of those who were supposed to help us.

They got personal
and started fighting and...

It all went down.

And now that you're calm and collected,
you've come to persuade me.

And if I won't be persuaded,
then I'm a foolish woman.

Forget it.

You'll do the compromising this time,
because I'll have my way.

Forget about who's compromising.

Let's consider
what's best for us and the kid.

Try dealing with the fire
instead of fixating on the smoke.

Some things are already broken.

And even if I do forget,

I know you, and I know you never do.

And since you're so sensible and rational,

consider how you're going to manage
after we separate.

Excuse me.

I tried to reason with him,
but they won't even agree to 25,000.

The court will rule in our favor...

I don't care about the court...

- That's an offside.
- Prepare to lose.

Nice! What's the score? Who's winning?

You were missed, Sherif.
Care for a sip and a spliff?

- Sir.
- I don't want a thing from you.

Way to normalize this conflict.

Weren't you just fighting outside?
Are you nuts?

Weed is a hell of a drug, sir.

Get the madam to take a puff,
and your problems will go poof.

Say what?

Shut it. I'm yet to get to you.

You raise your hand to my friends?
You want to fight, tough guy?

It was just an act, sir.

- And I let you hit me.
- Really? Now?

I swear, I let you all hit me.

You sleazy bastard.

I don't mess with the big guys.

Come on, Sherif. Play a couple games.

- Let's do multiplayer. Play with me.
- Go.

- But don't be rude.
- No, I'd rather win. I'll play with Wael.

- Well, that's rude.
- He says he wants to win.

Now, that's a vibe.

Men are gentle giants for real.

Damn right.

It's women who kill their vibe, huh?

- That's your joint.
- It's true.

All men are the same. They're boys.

All they care about is a good laugh
and a good mood.

Fancy seeing you here, big bro.

We were talking.

Hashing it out.

I can see you're hashing.

Mind your wife, Sherif.

Seriously?

You caught every one of the guys
with a drink or a joint except me.

So as not to drink our issues away,
as you say.

And you still come at me with all that
"good laugh, good mood" shit.

- It's no use.
- You're right, Dalia.

It's no use.

- Get her smoking before she...
- Good job.

- Oscar-winning actor.
- Way to back us up.

- You son of a...
- Pretending it's my joint and...

Let's just play.

- I was on my way out.
- Actually, I was looking for you.

Salma, you're not just my friend.
You're my sister.

Who else would put up with me?

But I turned out to be
a home-wrecker, didn't I?

I said some silly things in the moment.

Silly things on your mind that you'll be
quick to believe when need be.

Would you please deal with the fire
instead of fixating on the smoke?

- You see me as a...
- I see you only as a real lifesaver

and a true sister.

Even if I can't stand you
every now and then.

No, I swear, I see you
as the best ever thing that ever...

I know.

- And the best, most...
- I understand what you're trying to say.

Give me a minute!

- Is there someone in there?
- No, son.

I just like staring at bathroom doors.

I'm confident that
Sherif will power through.

God willing, son.

My grandparents
got divorced in the late '70s...

You don't need to break the silence.
You can just wait silently like me.

God help me. What is it?

- Why don't you try the other loo?
- That's an idea.

But that idiot Kahoul is trying
to make Shaimaa throw up.

I'm sure you can handle it, though.

God give us patience!

You want the remote?

Here it is!

He just loves taking control.

Wonder who he got it from.
You get to control all you want, though.

- Come on! Oh, damn.
- What the hell?

- Why are you so far away? Toilet's there.
- How dare you walk in on me?

I didn't expect the handle to turn.

And how dare you make me wait for nothing?

Not your business.

Come on, guys. You're grown-ups.

They'll think there's a fight.
We barely contained the last one.

Get out, you too!

I should've taken this shot
four hours ago.

There's no pharmacist to give it to me.

Give me two minutes, then take over.

I'll be a wreck if I don't have it now.

Speedy recovery. Then again,
I don't think you can do it yourself.

Let me do it.
I used to give shots to my late father.

- Your late father?
- He died in an accident. Turn around.

What's with the look?
It's not like I'll be messing with you.

People help each other out.
He's your best bet right now.

And so you've come, Sultan of Muslims,

to save Richard.

Your Majesty, pray to God
that he be cured by my hand.

You sure you can do it?

Totally. It's my late father
I'm talking about.

I don't want it! I've changed my mind!

- This isn't a game!
- You'll barely feel it.

You can't hold it right!
You filled it with air!

Oh, God.

Please, stay still.

- What have you done to me?
- Stay still.

Back off.

- Back off!
- Don't move. Don't let him go.

No!

We have a problem.

You naughty boy.
I kept waving but you didn't notice.

- Zuzu.
- Zuzu misses you tons.

Here, Auntie...

We're not done talking.

Take your time.
I just missed Adham is all.

What?

No. He's dead, right? He's dead.

I can't find a pulse.
Then again, I'm not a doctor.

Maybe he's unconscious?

We're doomed either way.

If he's dead, they'll say we killed him.

If he's not dead, he'll make a commotion.

It's a time bomb out there.
If he's not dead, someone else will be.

Oh, God. What do we do?

You're asking me? Aren't you
a professional criminal? Find us a way.

I'm not a professional criminal!
I'm an honorary accomplice!

See how you just said that we killed him
when you're the one who stabbed him?

Take revenge on those
who betrayed the truce!

Take revenge on those
who betrayed the treaties!

Someone check on Magdy,
in case he's up to no good.

Goddamn it!

He might as well be convincing our mothers
to make up over a joint.

He could be right.

- I don't want any bad blood between us.
- Neither do I.

Long live Richard!

Sherif, there's no time to explain.

I need you to keep Selim away
from the bathroom by any means.

His dad's hurt and unconscious,
but I believe he's alive.

Magdy and I are handling it.
Just keep Selim busy.

Oh, God!

- What's up, guys?
- Where's Magdy?

With your dad... I mean my dad.
He's helping him out. Soli, are you up?

- Up for what?
- For a challenge.

Unless you're scared of losing.

He looks scared. I'll play Wael, then.

Grab the controller
and pick the team you'd like to lose with.

I choose Manchester.

- Where's Magdy?
- Hush.

Where are you, Aziz?

You should've seen
what that snake just did to me.

I want you to babysit the snake.
Don't let her or anyone near the toilet.

- What? Where are you?
- In the toilet.

And why does that mean
I have to sit with her?

Just deal with whoever knocks.

Look, we have a big problem
in the bathroom.

- What's that?
- It's Magdy.

Get a grip on him or he'll fall.

- Who get a grip?
- Mohab.

- So, the three of you are in there?
- Yes.

- Why?
- Listen closely, Zeinab.

Hey, let's keep the faith.
He's alive, God willing.

I have faith, Uncle.
He'll come to, hopefully.

Then he'll out us and have us behind bars.

We didn't do anything to him.
He's a loony.

He's making stuff up
and accusing us of it.

It's two versus one.
And why would we even walk in on him?

Got it?
You have to say it exactly like that.

We're still not done talking.

Nana, I know you're only pretending
to be a bitch.

Did you just cuss me?
So that's your kind-hearted mother-in-law?

But you can't be, because deep down,
you're a well-bred sweetheart.

You're only doing it
to keep my son at bay. I know.

Mom has nothing to do with it.
This is on me and Sherif.

Sherif tends to overstep.

It's safe to say
we all overstepped tonight.

- We did not overstep!
- Sure.

- Where's your father?
- Her father's an absolute darling.

- What do you want, woman?
- Dalia is a daughter to me.

- What?
- You sneak outside and get us some ice.

We'll put the bit
that fell from his ear in it,

and he can stitch it back when he wants.

It'll make him feel better.

- You turned out to be an OG, Uncle.
- Get up, punk!

I've always considered us lucky
to have you as our in-laws.

- Mohab!
- It's not like he's a kid who'd run off.

Stay. Let's chat for a bit.

I've never seen such crassness.

I only put up with you
and your low-class lingo for my daughter.

I see.

Tell you what, Enaam. Why don't you
check on him in the bathroom?

Here goes nothing.

Mohab, are you in there?

No, ma'am. It's Aziz.

- So he's not there?
- Let me take a look.

- Don't be so cheeky.
- I'm just checking.

Maybe he's stuck under the sink.
What do you want me to say?

Why would he be in here with me?
We don't even like each other that much.

What a difficult man!

- Magdy, have you seen Mr. Mohab?
- Not really.

- Excuse me.
- Where to? Aziz is in there.

What's that in your hand? Ice?
For vandalizing?

- Not at all. It's for Uncle Aziz.
- Why would he need it?

- Because he's... an old man.
- So what?

You know how...

When men grow old, they...

So they find themselves...

So then they put ice to...

- To what?
- Cool off.

It becomes very hot, so...

so he cools it off with ice.

Excuse me.

Cools what off?

Mohab never...

Then that jerk is...

Is he being rude?

Selim!

- There's the third.
- Damn. That was good.

- Good shot.
- You can play, you know...

I knew you were an unreliable ditz.
Go find your father!

Or did he also jump over the roof
to the neighbors'?

- Did you check the bathroom?
- His dad is in there.

With his friend
and a bag of ice to cool it off.

- Cool what off?
- Beats me.

- You're just going to sit there and stare?
- Come on, ma'am. Let's go.

No, really. Cool what off?

Dalia. Come show me that roof
or window his friend jumped from.

- What's that noise?
- I think it's coming from over here.

No, there.

- Put that bag in the freezer.
- Okay.

Thank God.

He's up. Easy, now.

- What have you done to me?
- Nothing.

What have you done to me?

Calm down, please.
The needle didn't hit any vitals.

Don't be afraid.
A piece of your ear fell off,

and we put it in an ice bag,
as you can see.

Yes. We're keeping it for you.

My son, Sherif... Don't resist.

When he was a kid,
he lost a part of his finger.

We also put it in ice.

Then he got the procedure done,
and now he's as good as new.

I'll remove my hand
to relieve your discomfort.

Don't make any noises when I do, okay?

I'll make you pay you sons of...

See?

Freedom is a responsibility
you can't handle.

You must stay under my watch,
so here's what you're going to do.

You're going to nod your head yes or no.

Mr. Mohab.

You love being a "mister," don't you?
How petty.

Consider me sorry. I'm guilty as charged.

I deserve to go to hell, even,
but let's think this through.

There's a knife out there,
and we don't know who has it.

One of our sons will be stabbed with it.

The other one will rot in prison.
Do you understand what I'm saying?

So you won't kick and scream, then?

- Are we done? Should I get him up?
- I'll need help getting up as well.

What are you hiding from me?

How can a man disappear
in a 650-square-foot apartment?

- Well, hello there. Where have you been?
- It's all good. I'm okay now.

I asked where you've been.

Is it blood, Dad?

It's nothing. I slipped in the bathroom
and got a little hurt.

Bless them, they wanted to make sure
I was okay before worrying you.

You had them fool me
when I was out here looking for you?

I said, I'm fine!

How dare you yell at me!
Have you lost your mind?

You don't care about me.

You're just mad that I kept something
from you for half an hour, aren't you?

So I'm supposed to watch you walk out
the toilet with two men and say nothing?

- Did you miss me? Or is it jealousy?
- Jealousy? I think we're long past that.

Don't be disrespectful.

Is that how you speak to your wife?
Watch your tone!

I don't mind that,
but not at the price of my dignity.

I can't watch my tone
if you don't watch yours.

So you're flexing on me
because you couldn't flex on them?

Says the big guy who compromised
his girl's rights from day one!

I did not compromise!

- Chill, Dad...
- I'm talking!

Mommy, will you please calm down?

A daughter's rocky marriage
reflects on her choice of husband,

not on her parents' bargaining skills.

It's like you've completely transformed.

Pardon me, but what went on in that toilet
that changed your mind like that?

You should be mindful
of what you say and where you say it.

I get to say what I want to,
where I want to. What do you say to that?

To that I say nothing,
but I will say something for myself.

Since you're adamant
on disrespecting me till the day I die,

I divorce you.

Out of respect for myself.

You,

divorce me?

You won't have me for a wife?
I should celebrate!

Celebrate the good riddance of a...

half-wit!

- Easy, Mom.
- Silence! Not a word!

I wasted my life on a...

spineless man!

- Mom...
- What do you want?

- Let's go inside.
- What's wrong?

Inside? What's your deal?

Don't provoke me!
Do you see me freaking out?

I'm okay. I'm just fine.
What's the big deal? It's nothing.

Call the cops.

Have them get us out
of this bloody apartment!

- Call the cops!
- I will.

- Call the cops!
- I'm on it.

- Let's go inside.
- I'm fine! Totally fine!

- I should celebrate!
- Sure. Let's just go inside

- and calm down.
- I have to celebrate.

- Let's all go inside.
- Leave me alone.

I can't believe they got divorced.

They never had any bad blood between them.

No good blood either.

You're being funny when your parents
are divorcing for nothing?

She was never satisfied with him,
and he never faced that fact.

You're the one who's getting divorced
for absolutely nothing.

That's what you think?

He has a point, though.

- So you're turning on me too?
- No, my take on marriage hasn't changed.

I'm only saying that nothing
really happened to make you abandon ship.

- Wael, Magdy. A word, please.
- Hold on, Wael. What do you want to say?

Not again, Magdy.
We agreed you'd mind your business.

The door will open soon,
and I'll only have my business to mind.

This is nothing compared
to what happened with my wife.

You know the story.
But you invited everyone in,

involved or not, to give their two cents
while you stood there sulking.

And be grateful, Dalia. Had my in-laws
done this to me, it would've gotten dirty.

Well, I'll leave the stage to you.

Hold up, Sherif. This is the wisest thing
that's been said so far.

Boys! Help!

- What is this?
- Mommy!

- Why did you do this?
- Nobody comes near me!

Or I'll throw myself down, I swear!

I'm doing all this for you guys!

This is insane. We're all stuck here.
You're going to burn us down!

Ignore her. She's bluffing.

Just take her back.
Then we can figure it out!

I don't want to be taken back,
and this is not revenge. Hold this.

- I'm just doing what you couldn't do.
- What? Burn each other to a crisp?

Please! Let us put it out
before it becomes the end of us!

You're weak-willed! You can't make
a decision for the life of you!

I'm doing this to get the firefighters
to come bust us out.

Salma, call the fire department. Hurry!

I already did. They said they'll be here
in exactly ten minutes.

And I started the fire on minute nine.

Ten minutes, my foot!
Who shows up on time, ever?

I won't have any fussing or cussing.
You'll hear the sirens any minute now.

It's a small fire. It can do no harm.

- Oh, my God!
- Run!

Sherif!

Hey!

- Sherif!
- Step aside!

- We need water!
- Water!

- Get water!
- Water! Hurry!

- Get inside, Mom!
- Dalia!

Give me that. Stay with Adham!

- Take care.
- Hurry!

Come on!

Where am I supposed to get water from?

I bear witness
that there is no God but Allah.

Call the fire department! Hurry!

I'm calling! There are elders up there!

I didn't mean for any of this to happen!

I didn't mean it!

I didn't mean it!

No!

- What are you doing?
- I didn't know where to get water from.

From the bathtub, you idiot!

The bathtub! Of course.

Yes!

Uncle!

Oh, God! I don't want to die!

Help!

Use it! Hurry up!

- Come on!
- You can't do anything right!

- We're going to die!
- You know how to do it, Uncle?

Read the sticker,
and you'll know how it's used, moron.

Like this.

Good job, Uncle.

Good job. Uncle!

- Uncle!
- Dad! What's wrong?

- Aziz!
- What's wrong with you?

- Easy.
- What's wrong?

Hey, mister!

Please, get us out of here. I beg you.

You can use the stairs. They're clear.

We can't get to the stairs!
The door's locked! It's metal.

Then you need a locksmith to fix it.

Nobody mention locksmiths,
or I'm gonna lose it!

As you wish, sir.
Anything else you'd like me to do?

Take us with you, big guy.

Never mind her. Talk to me.
I'm telling you, we're stuck here.

Ma'am, we just got called
to put out a fire down the street.

We need to get going.
Anyway, the fire is out now.

You can just use the stairs.

- Don't you get it?
- Let's go.

No!

Don't go, I beg you. You're a godsend.

Don't leave me. If this door opens,
I'll be out on the street.

Please, take me with you!
Oh, God! Take me...

Enough, Shaimaa! You've made me hate
my two favorite W's: women and weed.

Good call, Dad. Finally, some good news.

I'm going through with the operation.
I figured this too shall pass.

Before last night,
I was worried sick about you.

But that passed too.
I know now that you can handle anything.

I'm also doing it to please your mom.
She's mad at me, and I don't know why.

As if. You know I can never be mad at you.

Dalia, come here, dear.

Sherif, I just wanted to remind you
to call the locksmith.

- Selim's phone is dead.
- Okay.

- Thank you, Dalia.
- For what?

For not saying anything
about my test results, and for the knife.

The knife? Where is it?

I saw you throwing it down the stairwell
after we dealt with the fire.

That's how I knew you were
the one hiding it. Good thinking.

Of course. I wouldn't want my husband
or brother to hurt each other in any way.

I mean, the father of my son.

- Excuse me.
- Sure.

Whatever happens between you two,
make sure you stay on good terms.

A happy ending is a respectful one.

You're sober now, right?

Remember how we agreed to get married?

- Good job, man.
- Thank God.

Thank you very much.

I need to go to the hospital
to get my ear stitched.

Try to convince him to leave the place.

Tomorrow we can go to the lawyer and...

Stop it, Sherif. Stop!

- Tone it down.
- You've done enough.

I'm just getting started...

- What are you doing?
- Packing, Mom.

- I think we should leave.
- Yeah.

By the way, you're schizophrenic.

By the way, I haven't changed my mind.

- What?
- What?

You know what? Just get out.
Get out of my bedroom!

Leave me alone!

- Good job, honey.
- You too!

Out with you! Out!

- I was on my way out anyway.
- Out!

God Almighty.

Hey! Was all that sweet-talking for me
or for your son?

Answer me!

They can spend the night together,

and if they still want to go
to the lawyer, we can see to it tomorrow.

Fine by me, Mr. Aziz.
We only want what's best for the kid.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

- What's up with him? Thought he was okay.
- He's had a long day.

His divorce, his ear, his daughter...

You got a car, or are you riding with me?

I do, Uncle. My friends left me one.

Call me up sometime, boy.

- Really?
- Sure.

Why won't you answer me?

What did I do to you?
What do you have under that abaya?

- Should we hit the hospital?
- Hand me your key. You're fired.

Here's the key. But let me tell you this:

You'll have a totally different outlook
once you divorce.

Get my clothes and meet me at my place
in El Rehab. You're living with me now.

I'll get you everything you want,
but please let me take that decision.

- I'm yet to make up my mind.
- I see.

Everybody wants to be
an alpha male all of a sudden.

- Just to flex on me?
- You're sleeping here tonight?

What's going on, Dad?

I don't know.
Although your sister's a mother,

I can't picture her with her husband
in the same room.

Why are you telling me this?

What's so funny?

Remember when you wanted
your son married so he'd be taken care of?

It's not that.
I only wanted a girl who cares for him.

What made you so confident?

Listen, I'll be there in an hour.

Okay, but I have to drop Auntie off,
so I'll call you after.

Is the pool nice over there?

You'll have the day-use of your dreams.
I promise.

Sure. Send me the location.
And nobody better be hearing this!

Not at all. I'm by myself in the car.

I'll send it over. Bye.

Way to go, Wael!

Hell, yeah! A day-use she can't refuse!

You're the only winner
in this bloody night.

Just don't fall in the trap
and end up like them in a couple years.

- I'm not that kind of guy.
- They all say so.

How about breakfast?

Sherif, I found some weird stories
on Facebook.

Your mother's post
got shared in some groups.

Believe me, divorce is rebirth.

I can't believe you put up with all that.

- Any woman would want you.
- You'll get it a few years down the road.

They wrote that?
I swear, nobody messes with me.

Look,

whatever happens...

I think we need to get some sleep
after that bloody night.

I think so too.

You're right.

Subtitle translation by:
Noura Hassan