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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,570 - Well, first of all, 2 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,305 Michael and geoffrey are so cute. 3 00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,273 thank you. 4 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,376 - They're very friendly and helpful 5 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,277 And all the kids love them, I love them. 6 00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,313 - Well, thank you. 7 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,115 - They are very special, 8 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,150 And they're so excited about doing a comedy routine 9 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:19,151 At the winter concert. 10 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,519 It's so cute! 11 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,354 You must be very proud. - Oh, yeah. 12 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,555 - Winter concert? 13 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,191 - Yeah, ray. You know about that. 14 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,726 - Oh, yeah, I know about that. 15 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:31,363 I just can't believe it's winter already. 16 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,298 - He's been practicing their routine with them. 17 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,701 He's this totally involved dad, you know? 18 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,403 - Yeah, and if you need any help 19 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:40,272 Telling them apart, I'm your guy. 20 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:41,774 - Well, actually, it's gotten easier. 21 00:00:41,776 --> 00:00:43,442 But there are some differences. 22 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,477 - Yeah, you start seeing it around the eyes, right? 23 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,780 - Sure, that, and then there are some other diff-- 24 00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:50,282 Well, let's see. Um... 25 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,785 These are the pre-k assessment forms, 26 00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:54,620 And here are some numbers, 27 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,088 And they both know their numbers, 28 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,322 But they each got the nine wrong. 29 00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:58,590 They said it was a six. 30 00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,691 That's a common error. 31 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,427 - But, you know, I guess, 32 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:05,130 If you showed it to them like this, right? 33 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,565 I mean, it could've been upside down. 34 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:10,736 - Uh, no. We show it to them like this. 35 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,271 - Oh. - But don't worry, it's a-- 36 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:13,806 - Common. It's a common error. 37 00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:19,178 - And, uh, well, here are some letters, 38 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,646 And they both know all their letters. 39 00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,181 - Well, I do that with them every day. 40 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,549 a, b, c, d-- 41 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:27,186 Well, you know that song. 42 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,487 - You okay? 43 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,492 - Something bad is coming. 44 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,261 Am I right? 45 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,663 - No, no, not at all. 46 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,498 Let's just, um-- oh, here. 47 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,200 This is a test where the child is asked 48 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,835 To cut with scissors on the line. 49 00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:44,636 So, here's geoffrey. 50 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,205 - Yeah, that's pretty good there. 51 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,840 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. 52 00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:49,441 And michael. 53 00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,185 - Michael just needs to work on this skill a little. 54 00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:02,321 - A little? What, did he chew the paper? 55 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,825 - Michael just doesn't know 56 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,460 How to hold the scissors properly, 57 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,229 And he seems a little reluctant to try. 58 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,630 - So why do you think that is? 59 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,866 - Is he stupid? You should tell us. 60 00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:16,768 - No, no. Not at all. 61 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,871 This kind of thing is just a sign of slight immaturity, 62 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:20,539 That's all. 63 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,875 And michael might be just a little young for his age. 64 00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:25,711 - But they're supposed to be identical. 65 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,882 Was that it? Is it just the scissor thing? 66 00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:32,818 - Well, see, here's some shapes, where they draw shapes. 67 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,920 So, here's geoffrey. 68 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:37,156 And here's michael. 69 00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:44,596 And let's see... 70 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:50,402 And then they were supposed to draw pictures of themselves. 71 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,504 So here's geoffrey. 72 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,506 Here's michael. 73 00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:58,810 At first he didn't want to draw, 74 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,212 But then I talked him through it 75 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,214 And just lacks a little detail. 76 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,253 - That's a nose? What the hell? 77 00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,523 - You know, um, 78 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,226 Boys are just a little slower to develop than girls. 79 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,495 - But geoffrey's developing on schedule. 80 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,830 Oh, boy. My father's gonna love that. 81 00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:20,933 - What? 82 00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:23,569 Shut up. 83 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,205 - Excuse me? - Nothing. 84 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:29,374 My father thinks that geoffrey has 85 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,476 Homosexual tendencies. 86 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,948 But, look, 87 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,616 Don't worry about what he thinks. 88 00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:40,786 He's still not sure about me. 89 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,428 - Well, in my opinion, 90 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,697 Michael's only slightly behind the other children, 91 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:54,299 And I'm sure he'll be fine to move on to kindergarten. 92 00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,669 - But there's a question? 93 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,371 - Oh. Well, not with me, 94 00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,406 But the kindergarten teacher, rita, will come down 95 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,741 And make her own evaluation. 96 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,510 - So michael might have to stay in preschool 97 00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:06,511 For one more year. 98 00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:07,946 - It--it happens sometimes. 99 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,681 And it's better if it happens in preschool 100 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,984 Because there's no shame in repeating at this age. 101 00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:13,719 - Sure. Right. 102 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,587 But this kindergarten lady, rita, 103 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,888 She'll make the call? 104 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:17,889 - Yes. 105 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,524 - Is she tough? 106 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:22,995 - Um, what do you mean? 107 00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:24,630 - You know. 108 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,434 You really got to leave him back? 109 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,970 I mean, what about that other kid I saw, 110 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,872 The one licking the blackboard? 111 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,046 - Ray, it's not a competition. 112 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,582 You know, my biggest concern 113 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:46,418 Is splitting up the boys, because they're so close. 114 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,886 - Well, I thought of that, and, you know, 115 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,421 If it comes down to it, 116 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,056 They could both stay in pre-k one more term. 117 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,724 Again, they're on the younger side, 118 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,661 And moving forward at this age isn't crucial. 119 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,729 - I don't know. Maybe that would be best. 120 00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:00,499 I--what do you think? 121 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,567 - Is the board-licker moving up? 122 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,014 They're coming! 123 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,689 - Michael, like this. Like this. 124 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,958 Come on. Like this. 125 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,426 - I can't. 126 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,096 - Uh, you-- don't give up, you-- 127 00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:05,097 - How's it going? 128 00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,632 - Shh. Yes. 129 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,468 You can, michael. You can--there you go, see? 130 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,802 Now you're holding it. That's it. 131 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:11,803 There, you're holding it. 132 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,071 Okay now, now let's cut. 133 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,673 - I don't want to. 134 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,041 - Well, sure, you do. 135 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,845 This is gonna help you get a good job some day. 136 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,046 Come on. 137 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,614 And let me tell you something, 138 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,883 All the millionaires know how to cut paper. 139 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,385 - Okay, just cut a straight line. 140 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:27,819 Go ahead. Go ahead. Cut. 141 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:28,887 But no, straight-- 142 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,422 Go straight. Go straight. 143 00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:33,091 Go straight, mike! Stop--slow down. Stop. 144 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,693 Go straight across, okay? 145 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,396 No...No, no, no! 146 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:38,663 - Okay, hey, hey, hey, 147 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,031 Maybe--maybe this isn't a good idea. 148 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,133 - No, but he doesn't cut-- 149 00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:42,167 No! - It's okay, ray. 150 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,002 It's okay. - No! 151 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,804 - I think it's better if he doesn't associate 152 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,873 Cutting paper with you foaming at the mouth. 153 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,676 Why don't you just help him with his comedy routine? 154 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,145 - Yeah, yeah. Great, great, great. 155 00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:57,015 That's a future. "hey, hey, funny boys! 156 00:06:57,017 --> 00:07:00,952 "put on these chicken heads and hand out these coupons. 157 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,120 "don't worry, michael, 158 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,688 We cut them out for you already." 159 00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:06,158 - Hey. - Hey, robert. 160 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,160 - All right, mike... 161 00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,629 Go upstairs and-- here, practice cutting. 162 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,930 Take the scissors. Go. Run. 163 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,100 - No, don't run! Don't run! 164 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,768 Idiot. 165 00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:22,641 - This is how michael cuts paper. 166 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,576 - So we hate him now? 167 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:29,214 - He just needs to work on his fine motor skills a little. 168 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,049 They're thinking of keeping him in pre-k 169 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,517 One more year. 170 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:33,985 - Really? 171 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,188 Interesting. 172 00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,756 - Why? Why is that interesting? 173 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,658 - Oh, nothing. 174 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,092 - You got any doughnuts? 175 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,861 - Don't give him any! He already had two! 176 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,696 I still have coffee left! 177 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:47,599 You refilled that coffee so you could have more doughnuts! 178 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,100 - So she ate them! 179 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,870 - That's right, because two doughnuts are enough. 180 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,538 - Well, how many did you have? 181 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,173 - Why do you change the subject? 182 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,509 - All right, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 183 00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:58,877 I know what to do. I know what to do. 184 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,145 Get out! 185 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,916 - What's the matter, dear? 186 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,918 - Michael might get left back in preschool. 187 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,086 - What? 188 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:11,756 - Oh, interesting. 189 00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:12,991 - What? What's so interesting? 190 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,727 - What, is he stupid? 191 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,796 - Nobody's stupid, frank. 192 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,498 Michael's a little young for the class, 193 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,200 And besides, girls mature faster than boys. 194 00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,903 - Oh, so I guess geoffrey's fine, then. 195 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,838 - Yeah. All right. 196 00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,242 - Stop it, frank. 197 00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:31,977 Raymond's upset. 198 00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:34,546 It's okay, dear. It's just preschool. 199 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,047 - That's what I told him. 200 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,016 And if he has to stay, geoffrey will stay with him. 201 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,652 - Oh, that's good. - No, no, no! 202 00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,153 - Why not, frank? 203 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,588 - Law of nature. 204 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,190 You get left behind, you get eaten. 205 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,660 You're too soft on the kids. 206 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,229 You got to push them. Push them forward. 207 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,699 Just keep pushing them! 208 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,268 - Until when, frank? 209 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:58,069 - Until they cry. 210 00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:02,073 That's nature's way of letting you know 211 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,009 You've pushed enough. 212 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,882 - Here's a man they let have two children. 213 00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:15,787 - Raymond, don't worry about the boys. 214 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,590 They're beautiful, sweet boys. 215 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,992 They're gonna fly away soon enough. 216 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,227 - Yeah, all right, ma, look, 217 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,763 I want them to move up to kindergarten 218 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,064 And be with the other children. 219 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,999 - Other children are overrated. 220 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:33,104 But it won't hurt michael and geoffrey 221 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:35,874 To stay little one more year. 222 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,076 You know, that's what I did with you. 223 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,181 - What? 224 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,182 - It's funny. 225 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,886 I never told you this, 226 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,255 But when you were the twins' age-- 227 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,124 Do you remember nursery school, used to be on jay street 228 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,727 With the pretty yellow flowers out front? 229 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,196 Well, you and I would walk there and back together 230 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,598 Every morning. 231 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,233 And you were so cute holding my hand. 232 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,836 So when it came time for you to go to kindergarten, 233 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,838 Which was crosstown with a bus, 234 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,107 I decided it would be nice for everybody 235 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,344 If you stayed in preschool one more year. 236 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,917 - You left me back? 237 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,319 - Left back for love. 238 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:26,358 - That, and you were slow. 239 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,693 I remember you couldn't even cut paper. 240 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:35,367 - Hee hee! 241 00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:36,901 - Frank! - Wait. 242 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,004 What? 243 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,071 What was wrong with me? 244 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,806 - Nothing, sweetie. 245 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,675 You were just a little young, too. 246 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,377 So you stayed there one more year, 247 00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:49,047 And we got to walk by the yellow flowers some more. 248 00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:02,093 - Th-that's why I was always the oldest in my class. 249 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,229 - Yellow flowers. 250 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,700 - You knew? - No. 251 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,235 - Yes, you-- of course you did! 252 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,903 That's what was so interesting. 253 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,405 - Okay, I knew. 254 00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:15,240 - Well, why didn't you tell me? - I don't know. 255 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:17,676 - You tell your brother this! - I couldn't! 256 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,044 - Why? - Because. 257 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:22,447 - Because why? - Because I felt sorry for you! 258 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,450 - You felt sorry for me? 259 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,852 You felt sorry for me? 260 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,425 - Ray, it was just pre-- 261 00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:34,893 - Gah! 262 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:40,899 - I was just-- - gah! 263 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,837 - Oh-- - ee--no! 264 00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:53,445 - Maybe I should've waited another year to tell him. 265 00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,859 - Deb. 266 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,260 Deb. 267 00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:22,207 - Ow! 268 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,408 Hey! 269 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,845 - What's up? 270 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,747 - What are you doing? 271 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,149 - Am I stupid? 272 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:35,253 - If this is your new way of asking for sex, then yes. 273 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:39,958 - Come on, don't you see? 274 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,960 That's what I passed on to michael. 275 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,161 That's my legacy. 276 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:46,131 - No, no, no. - The dumbness. 277 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,800 -You've passed on other things. 278 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,505 Your lack of tushie. 279 00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:57,776 - Ha. Yeah, very funny. 280 00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,811 You have a stupid kid, you don't even care. 281 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,479 - He is not stupid. 282 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:04,449 - Then why isn't he the same as geoffrey? 283 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,886 You can't even get good twins anymore. 284 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,455 - Well, why don't you think of it this way, okay? 285 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,191 Michael is the way the twins should be, 286 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:17,028 And geoffrey is exceptional. 287 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:20,298 - Geoffrey's your favorite. 288 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,966 - You're kidding now, right? - Admit it. 289 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,868 You've always liked geoffrey better, 290 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:27,806 And that's why michael's goofy. 291 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,440 - Good night. 292 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,411 Maybe if you were around a little more, 293 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,514 Michael could cut paper. 294 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,583 - Aha! 295 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:41,452 I knew it was right there under the surface, right. 296 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:44,055 So I should go to work and raise the kids, all right. 297 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,290 It should be all me. 298 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:46,558 Yeah, and what do you do all day-- 299 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,193 I'm sorry. 300 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,402 - Excuse me? - I'm sorry. 301 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:58,570 - That's right, you're sorry. 302 00:13:58,572 --> 00:13:59,971 - That's right, I'm sorry! 303 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,573 - Yeah. 304 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,875 - I--look, I just-- 305 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:07,212 I want the kids to be just like everybody else. 306 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:09,247 - They are. - No. 307 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,316 No, they should-- they should move up 308 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,551 And go to kindergarten and be with their friends 309 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:18,189 And keep up with the board-lickers. 310 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,425 And how about this? What--what if-- 311 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,893 What if one day geoffrey finds out 312 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,194 That he's the smarter one? 313 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,929 He'll never let michael live it down. 314 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,331 He'll gloat. 315 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,433 Just like robert's gonna do to me now. 316 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:29,901 He's gonna gloat. 317 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:32,570 He's gonna gloat all over me. 318 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,606 - Ray, it's preschool, 319 00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:36,541 And if they have to stay behind, 320 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:40,111 It'll be because that's what's best for them, right? 321 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:43,348 Isn't the most important thing that they're healthy and happy? 322 00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:48,453 - You don't care about either one of them, do you? 323 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,926 - All right, good news! 324 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,128 I went down to that school and had a little visit 325 00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,498 With the kindergarten broad. 326 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,633 - What? 327 00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:05,403 - That's right, I schmoozed her. 328 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,572 Hey, she's a human being. 329 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,407 And a woman. 330 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,109 - Oh, no. 331 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,978 - And being a woman, she's a sucker for the old 332 00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,613 "look how many photos of the children 333 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:18,316 Grandpa has in his wallet" bit. 334 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:22,020 "oh, look! They're so adorable! 335 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,522 "and what a charming grandpa! 336 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:28,426 And what a distinguished-looking forehead!" 337 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,928 - She said that? 338 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,430 - I paraphrase. 339 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,365 Anyway, the real reason for the bit is 340 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,669 To accidentally allow a peek at the wallet being extra full. 341 00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:40,672 - Oh, god. - Oh, no. 342 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,044 - Now, she didn't give me a definite answer about mikey, 343 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,212 But I saw her eyes light up. 344 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,348 You know, those teachers don't make squat. 345 00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:58,523 - I don't--I always told you we should have a trapdoor 346 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,491 Right there. 347 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,465 - What, now you're mad? 348 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,267 I don't get you two. 349 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,436 I'm thinking of the kid! 350 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:14,572 You know, we thought that leaving little raymond back 351 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:18,543 Didn't hurt him any, but who the crap knows? 352 00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:21,713 You could've been a year ahead in your life right now. 353 00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:23,247 That car you're saving up for? 354 00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:25,650 You could be driving that today. 355 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,520 You could've bought the house a year sooner, 356 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,656 Met debra a year sooner, 357 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,758 Had the kids a year sooner, 358 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,626 Which, if you did, by the way, 359 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,595 Would put michael right on track, 360 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,732 And we wouldn't have to have this conversation! 361 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:44,702 - All right, just hold it, frank. 362 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,471 Do you want to help the kids? 363 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:50,108 Why don't you start by setting a decent moral example? 364 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,543 None of this matters! Do you understand? 365 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,145 They are four. 366 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:57,382 We just want them to be healthy and happy! 367 00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:03,287 - Good luck on that one. 368 00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:07,158 - That's where you get it from. 369 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,761 - That's great, I'm gonna be stupid and bald. 370 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:18,069 - Hey, chuckleheads, let's go, make the beds! 371 00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,538 Come on, isn't today the big winter concert gig? 372 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,672 - Yeah. - Yeah. 373 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,474 - Yeah, you're excited, right? 374 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:27,045 So let's move like little excited people. 375 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,546 - Ray? 376 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,415 - What? - Come here. 377 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,253 I got the call from the principal. 378 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,454 - What, about them? 379 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,122 - Yeah. 380 00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,357 They think that michael 381 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,727 Should stay in preschool another year. 382 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,495 - Oh... 383 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,600 So then geoffrey, too? 384 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,601 - Mm. 385 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,171 - Yeah. 386 00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,507 - So then... 387 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,608 That's okay, right? 388 00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,111 I mean, that's what we said, 389 00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:03,247 Happy and healthy. 390 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,250 We still want that? 391 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,251 - Yeah. 392 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,654 - Um. - Yeah. 393 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:10,655 - You okay? 394 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:11,856 - Yeah. 395 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,524 I just thought you'd be upset. 396 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,661 - No, I'm, you know, I'm--I'm good. 397 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:17,662 - Good. - Yeah. 398 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:18,763 - Yeah, they'll be fine. 399 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,531 - Yeah, they'll be together. 400 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,734 - Yeah, no, it's--it's good. It's good. 401 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,106 Okay. 402 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,407 All right, you guys, come on, 403 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,409 You're the big comedy stars today. 404 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,411 - Look, daddy, I made my bed. 405 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:36,614 - Yeah, geoffrey, you did a good job. 406 00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:52,396 Mikey, you're doing it there. 407 00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,731 Good. 408 00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:58,402 Hey, mike. 409 00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,505 Come here. 410 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,140 You like your school? 411 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,809 - Yeah. - Yeah. 412 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,612 You like sarah, your teacher? 413 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:11,249 - Yeah. - Yeah, me too. 414 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:15,853 H-how would you like to stay in her class next year? 415 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:16,854 - Okay. 416 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:17,889 - Yeah? Good. 417 00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:19,323 Okay, I'll tell you what, 418 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,160 If you want to, you can, okay? 419 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,262 - Okay. - Good. 420 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,899 Good. 421 00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:30,668 - Do I have to cut paper now? 422 00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:34,505 - No. No. 423 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,409 No. 424 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,311 Unless you want to. 425 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,345 - No. 426 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,614 Look, I have pants like daddy. 427 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,183 - Hm. 428 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,686 Yeah, how about that? 429 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,821 Just like daddy. 430 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,593 Come here. 431 00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:03,434 jingle bells, jingle bells 432 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,469 Jingle all the way 433 00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,805 Oh, what fun it is to ride 434 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:11,943 In a one-horse open sleigh 435 00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:23,254 - Thanks, everybody. 436 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,589 And now for a very special treat: 437 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:28,392 The comedy team of michael and geoffrey barone! 438 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:38,970 - Hello, michael, I just flew in from cleveland. 439 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,807 - And your arms are very tired! 440 00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:52,750 You know, I've been swimming since I was three. 441 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,557 - And your arms are very tired. 442 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,937 If you're american in the living room, 443 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:15,406 What are you in the bathroom? 444 00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:19,977 - You're a-peein'! 445 00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,388 - That one was mine. 446 00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:41,532 - Hey. - Hey, what's up? 447 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:43,000 - Yeah, well, you know, I got that garden 448 00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,503 Growing on my terrace over my apartment, 449 00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,872 And I thought I'd bring you guys some plants. 450 00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:49,407 - Really? All right, good. 451 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,675 - Yeah. 452 00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,576 I know how much you love these. 453 00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,957 Enjoy. 31261

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