Original subtitles

Don't just think outside the box.

Go to the roof on your personal ideas factory, and throw the box over the...

... past the hour. Coming up now, ten top tips for basket-weaving.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Uh!

Hello, Doc.

Oh!

#NAVN? #NAVN?

- Huh! #NAVN?

#NAVN? - Help me, Bert.

A man like you shouldn't be interested in a broken-down sofa.

#NAVN? - I'm not surprised it was dumped here.

I knew a man once who caught a disease off a sofa like this.

- Oh, really? Enjoy yourself. #NAVN?

Bye.

Proper job.

- Where's the receptionist?

#NAVN? Oh.

Thank you.

No! No, no, no, no! Whoa! What the hell's going on?

She...

- Well, I just came round to fix your printer. - I'm on my break.

This is my kitchen. That's unhygienic. I eat there.

Al, please!

#NAVN? - Well, yeah. Yes.

Sorry.

Have a heart. This is our first kiss.

Pauline, your behaviour is unprofessional and embarrassing. Now get back to work.

You.

No.

Oh! Oh.

Oh!

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Didn't wanna come here.

I went to the chemist but she said I had to see you, so...

I've got the runs.

Diarrhoea. Diarrhoea can be a symptom of any number of conditions,

from ulcerative colitis, chronic pancreatitis,

or a parasitic, a bacterial or a viral infection.

Don't have any of them.

Right. How long has it been going on for?

Mr Flint?

Let me see, Monday...

What?

Days.

Couple of days.

- A week, maybe two.

Mr Flint, I have to examine you.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Just give me something.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Then I can't give you a proper diagnosis.

And if I don't have a proper diagnosis, I won't write you a prescription.

#NAVN? - Sit here, please.

Could you write me out two of them?

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Open your mouth.

Tell your brother I'll have to see him.

No, he won't come to see no doctor. He doesn't like them.

I didn't even tell him that I was coming here.

- Just you and your brother, is it? #NAVN?

- My dad, too.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

He's got blood coming out of him. Hasn't the strength to leave the house.

Right. That would suggest a common cause.

I'll take some samples, but I will need to see your brother.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

The moor.

I'll come out this afternoon.

OK.

Huh! Well, you took your time, then, didn't you?

Oh! Oh.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

I've wrenched my back trying to put this valuable antique into the trailer.

Er, Dad, I need my birth certificate.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

I'm thinking about getting a new bike.

Your mother looked after all those bits of paper. I never seen it.

- But you'll look for it, right? - You don't need a new bike!

That gets you from A to B. Now, help me...

- It's rubbish. - Put this... put this sofa into the trailer, eh?

- Nice bit of furniture, that. #NAVN?

Good morning, Dr Ellingham. Looks like it's gonna be a lovely day, doesn't it?

#NAVN? - I'm sorry.

We ordered ten millilitres but they sent one millilitre.

I put in a call, but you know how they are. Would you like to take these ones for now?

No. Have you noticed a run on diarrhoea remedies?

No. Nothing out of the ordinary.

You don't want to bother with conventional medicine for the stomach.

Herbal remedies are far more effective.

If you do notice an increase in demand, let me know.

I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself. I'm Sandra. PC Mylow's sister.

#NAVN? - We're actually in the same line of work.

Right. Good.

- I'm a herbalist. Oh.

So we're not in the same line of work, are we?

Treating the sick and needy? I call that the same line.

I may not have all your formal qualifications but I know something about healing people.

- I've a clinic in Truro. #NAVN?

I'm gonna expand. I'm doing a day a week down here, too.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna steal all your patients.

Make sure that if they have prescriptions from me, they inform you first. Mrs Tishell.

D'you think those are real? - That's the bikini I've got.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Yeah, it's OK.

- Hiya! - Looking good there, Al.

Call me when you dump her.

All right?

Hey.

Sorry.

- God, what a hideous kid. #NAVN?

Looks nothing like him. Bet it's not even his. That kid has blue eyes, they've got brown.

I've got blue eyes. My dad's got brown. My mum had brown, I think.

She can't have.

Doc, in't it true that if parents have brown eyes, their brat can't have blue ones?

It's dependent on genetic influences. There's a number of factors...

You see, I'm right.

I thought you might actually be interested in learning something.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

I've just got to, um... go and do something, all right?

- How's your rash? - Still ain't gone.

And it's really itchy, too. It's bad for business.

I don't want customers thinking I'm scratching meself all over the beef cuttings.

It should have cleared up by now. You been following the treatment I prescribed you?

Yeah, I've been trying even harder than that. Taking these, too.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Oh, God.

- Right, I'm keeping these. - They cost me £5.

It's very unwise to mix different forms of medication.

You shouldn't have taken these.

It's OK, they're herbal. Natural.

That doesn't mean it's safe. Poison ivy's natural. You wouldn't take it, would you?

No. It's got "poison" in the title.

Do your shirt up.

If your back gets any worse you'll have to go and see the doc.

#NAVN? - Good. Well, go on, yeah.

#NAVN? - Ooh, ow! That's right.

#NAVN? - That's it, over a bit.

Lovely. Oh!

#NAVN? #NAVN?

#NAVN? - Oh, I'll find it when my back's better.

Oh, you seen that new sofa?

Yeah. What about the old one, then?

Oh, it's yours. You know, like father and son sofas.

#NAVN?

- What, have I got something on my face? #NAVN?

What was Mum like, Dad?

Well, you know, you've seen the photos.

Yeah, but really. Can't tell a lot from those old pictures, can you?

She were lovely, Mary. Don't know what she was doing with me.

And what colour were her eyes? Blue, right? Like mine.

No. They were brown.

That's what I fell in love with, her eyes. Big, beautiful and brown.

Together, together forever

- I'll keep you satisfied...

#NAVN? Mark, I told you! I have a client!

- Please turn the radio down! #NAVN?

#NAVN?

Mm.

I don't think there's anything wrong at all.

Are you sure? It's just that someone... It was a doctor, actually.

#NAVN? - They said that I had, um...

a certain, er... tang on my breath.

Actually, some people have a faulty smelling apparatus,

which means they can falsely accuse others of, say, bad breath or body odour.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

That's interesting.

Yeah, that would make sense, because he does have some physical quirks.

I mean, I don't know if you know this but, um... he's got a blood phobia.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

- That's great. - No, but he is a very, very good doctor.

As long as there aren't any cuts and scrapes involved, I imagine!

Yeah.

Now, listen, for your other complaint, I can highly recommend these.

Thank you. You know, you have been such a great help.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

I hope your ears aren't burning.

Um, can I settle with you later?

Yeah.

Dr Ellingham, how nice to see you.

You prescribed some of your herbal tablets to one of my patients. A butcher.

Yes. Poor thing, sweating away in that shop all day.

You've aggravated his condition.

I'd already prescribed him a course of treatment.

Maybe your course of treatment made him worse. Or didn't that occur to you?

Sounds like someone's afraid of a little healthy competition.

Your pixie dust has clearly malreacted with my prescribed real medicine,

and exacerbated the patient's condition.

This is not the 14th century.

We no longer bleed patients or drill holes in their skulls when they have a migraine.

I am responsible for the health of this community. Please, check with me first.

Is that clear?

- Give you a hard time, did she? - Nothing I can't handle.

- Sometimes I wish she'd ruddy go and... #NAVN?

I know you can't choose your families, but there's a line, Doc.

Mark!

Give us a hand moving the dresser, will you?

- Whoa!

Can I come in?

#NAVN?

Thank you.

What's he doing here? I told you I don't need no doctor.

- Your brother's worried about you. - It's nothing.

I don't think it is nothing, actually.

#NAVN? - Well, I'm going to examine you anyway.

How long have you been feeling ill?

Got stomach cramps?

#NAVN? - He can't keep anything down.

Nobody asked for you here.

#NAVN?

#NAVN? #NAVN?

The sooner I do this, the sooner I leave.

Dad. It's just the doctor.

You'd better get out of here.

Boys, shush. Keep it down.

Your mother's sleeping.

- Aren't there just three of you living here? - Uh-huh, the three of us, and Mum.

Who's this?

Dr Ellingham. I'm afraid your son Paddy here is very ill.

I didn't ask him to come, Dad. Honest.

- Is this your doing, boy? #NAVN?

- It's nothing. He's fine. No, he's not fine.

In all probability he's suffering from salmonella poisoning. And Wallace.

Left unchecked, that can be very serious.

Ow!

Drain the blood out of this fella, too.

Right, I'm gonna give you both some antibiotics.

One tablet three times a day, with food. And you must finish the course.

Right, now leave.

Mr Flint? Have you been suffering from diarrhoea?

No, I haven't.

#NAVN? She's fine.

I would like to check her on her anyway.

- She don't like doctors. Paddy.

- I'll check on her anyway. - You can't.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Or is the doc here gonna take his chances?

Come on, Doc.

Fine. Make sure you take those antibiotics.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

- Um, Martin, about this morning... - What, your visit to the snake charmer?

I'm sorry that you've closed your mind to alternative medicine, but it can be effective.

It frequently is. Unfortunately, with this woman it's a lottery.

Maybe you should accept that they're adults, Martin.

And maybe she could help you with your blood problem?

Lou. Doc. How are you?

Hi.

Mum told me she'd "treat" me to dinner at the retirement home.

So, er... I need a stiff drink before I go.

They might care for the elderly but they can't cook to save their lives.

- Lou, drink? - Yes, I will, thanks.

Doc?

No, thank you. I just came to see Mark. Louisa.

Oh, chirpy as ever, I see.

#NAVN? Mark.

Who had the Eurovision hit Save All Your Kisses For Me?

#NAVN?

The Flints?

Yeah. A foreboding air of violence, strange smell, passion for taxidermy.

Taxidermy! #NAVN?

#NAVN? - They don't come into Portwenn much.

#NAVN? - Er, don't think I ever have.

They're a bit weird. No harm to anyone.

Right, yeah.

Tosser!

Oh!

- Oh! - You've strained a muscle.

Not much I can do. I'll prescribe you some painkillers.

It'll heal in time. Get plenty of rest. I'll get your patient notes.

Mark's sister works wonders with aches and pains. Should I pop over and see her?

Don't be stupid, Bert.

- Do we have Wallace Flint's test results? #NAVN?

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Don't have it.

#NAVN? - He didn't leave a number.

He left in a rush, looking like a frightened rabbit. Like all your patients, actually.

I'll just scoot out there and hope that they're in. It's less than half a day's drive.

Doc. Two brown-eyed parents could definitely have a blue-eyed kid, right?

It's uncommon. In the past the brown eye colour was always dominant over the blue,

but now we know better.

See? Silly.

That's exactly what I said. Sort of.

No, I dunno.

He said uncommon.

Hello, Al!

Thought I'd fix your water-line. I was driving by.

#NAVN? - It was leaking, in the chicken coop.

That was over a year ago.

You said if I had a minute to pop in and, well, I've got a minute.

I'll show you where the stopcock is. Here you are.

Hello?

Hello?

Ah. #NAVN?

Oh, you're feeling better, then?

I got the results back from your tests. I was right, it was salmonella.

The antibiotics I gave you should clear that up, as long as you keep taking them.

Just as importantly, how you picked it up.

Salmonella's most commonly found in foodstuffs.

Mind if I take a look in your fridge?

#NAVN? - Dad's hobby. He likes to keep things.

- Why doesn't he stuff that dog?

Oh!

Oh, that's an old fridge, isn't it?

#NAVN? #NAVN?

These old ones leak sulphur dioxide when they wear out.

It would explain the smell. Or one of them, anyway.

And apart from causing permanent lung damage,

any meat products stored in there would become...

- Yeah, we get it. Diarrhoea. Salmonella.

#NAVN? - Yeah, you've got...

We can tell her.

- Still, I think I should...

- You've got no business here.

Right, then.

#NAVN?

I want you to try and find any patient notes that still exist on the Flint family.

#NAVN?

Oh, right, right, right.

#NAVN? - He helped us, didn't he?

That's not what I asked.

Dad don't like strangers in the house.

I'm gonna go and... check on Mum.

Dad's short, I'm tall.

He's big, I'm not.

He thinks differently. We're totally different.

That's got nothing to do with it. He's your father.

He's stalling on giving me my birth certificate.

Al, I knew your mum very well.

When you were born, she and Bert were overjoyed.

So you do know something, then?

If you don't get on with it, then that job'll never get done. Here.

Joan.

Joan, did my mum have an affair?

Al, your father loved your mother very much.

Your father loves you very much.

There's nothing more to be said.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

- What d'you fancy for your tea? Trout? - Now, dad.

Look, I turned the place upside down. There's no sign of it, but I'll find it.

Give it me or I'll send away for a copy.

You can do that, then?

I know about Mum.

Her affair.

It wasn't an affair.

Well, what was it, then?

It was just one night but it meant nothing.

Are you my dad?

If you'll excuse me, I've got a washing machine to plumb in. Here!

#NAVN? #NAVN?

- I don't know why I bothered. - It's your job.

Mrs Flint hasn't visited the surgery since the boys were little.

- You OK, Bert? - Yeah. It's...

I'm... l'm just resting, that's all.

- I thought maybe you'd broken down. #NAVN?

- You sure everything's OK? - Yeah, it's just hay... hay fever.

OK. It's the season for it.

I should see your Sandra.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

#NAVN? - He doesn't have one.

#NAVN? - Er, 4th December, '96.

And what's the problem? Apart from getting his grubby little fingers all over my surgery.

It's his glands. He's hyperactive. Isn't there something you can just give him?

No! No, no, no!

No! Come on.

Sit there. Hold that.

There is no miracle pill. I'll have to do a psychiatric evaluation.

The other doctor just gave me something called brahmi, for his blood sugar level.

- If anything, he's just got worse. #NAVN?

Your son needs to be referred to a specialist.

You mentioned the Flint family.

- I don't discuss patients with patients. #NAVN?

Wondered how Doreen was. She used to sing in the church choir with me, years ago.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

I haven't seen her since he was a tyke. It was like she fell off the edge of the world.

- How's it going, Sandy? #NAVN?

#NAVN? - Oh, yeah. I borrowed it.

- I'd like it back. - I'm gonna be listening to it later.

I'm letting you use that room rent-free.

Oh, I see. So you're gonna kick your big sister out on the street? I don't think so.

Just give me back my radio. Thank you!

Miss Mylow. You've doled out some more of your wonder herbs to my patient. A child.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

We prescribe Bacopa monniera for attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder.

Do we? You think by rolling in and setting up shop, you're helping people. You're not.

That child wasn't on any of your prescriptions.

No, he needs to see a specialist.

I find it very hard to take a lecture

from a doctor who can't conquer his own fear of blood.

From now on, check with me first.

Oh, I didn't realise that you were the law in town.

So, how did you get on at the Flints'?

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Oh. Say hello to them from me the next time you see them.

Victor, the father, he's been to my practice in Truro a couple of times.

Prefers the natural approach.

Doesn't trust doctors.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

#NAVN? - My first name is Martin, and my se...

What were you doing coming back out to the house? Who invited you?

#NAVN? - He's fine. We're all fine.

Me and the wife don't need people intertering with the family!

Are you married? Children?

#NAVN?

Well, if you were, maybe you'd understand.

Oh, thanks for that, sorting out that fridge problem.

Those boys are like magpies.

Magpies, I tell you.

Nice to meet you, Doctor.

#NAVN? - Here, sit. Sit down.

Now, your mum and I, we were... we were having troubles.

I left for a while, but then I came back.

I've trusted you for 25 years.

Your mother always looked after the important papers in the house, right?

Now in here... I've never seen this.

In here is your birth certificate.

I thought... Well, if I don't know what's written there, you're still my son, right?

Now, why don't we just put this away, right?

No. I'm not gonna hide from the truth, like you.

I wanna know. Go on.

You do it. Go on.

All right.

I knew it. I knew it.

Just goes to show.

You recognise a name there?

Yeah, but how do I know she just didn't get them to put your name in? Eh?

Hello, this is the Portwenn Surgery.

There is no one here to take your call

but please leave a message and I'll call you back.

Dr Martin, it's Wallace.

Look, I really need to talk to you about...

What the hell are you doing?

#NAVN? - No, listen, it's really important!

- Give it me! Give it me! - No, Dad!

The father had me by the throat yesterday.

Doc, shh. Sandra's sleeping. Don't wanna wake the beast.

Tsk-tsk-tsk! Come on, come on!

What if I've been calling a stranger "Dad" for 25 years?

He's Bert. He's your father.

Well, that's the point, innit? What if he's not?

Fine, Al.

Let's just suppose that he's not. What are you going to do?

- How d'you mean? #NAVN?

Or are you going to ignore him?

Or you might think about how he's been feeling all these years, not knowing.

And the fact that he's kept loving you.

#NAVN? - Come on, I'll give you breakfast.

You can't answer questions like this on an empty stomach.

First time I ever saw a dead body was in Truro. Old lady. Mrs Williams.

She'd phoned the council. Said her flat smelt bad. And you know what they found?

Her husband had died months before and she hadn't told anyone.

Oh, yeah.

Mark, I appreciate that you're excited, but...

- I'm just saying, Doc, it happens. - Yes, it does.

- So, how... how do you wanna do this? - I'm a doctor. You're the policeman.

Right. Of course.

- Let's go round the back.

Hello?

I don't think we're allowed in here.

No, definitely not. You can't enter a house without reasonable grounds.

This is reasonable grounds.

That's the room.

Another one of your sister's prescriptions.

Careful, Doc!

What are you doing here?

- I've just come to check on your mother. - She's fine. Everything's fine.

- I'm sorry, but I am gonna check. - Don't, please!

Dr Martin.

Sorry. Ellingham.

Dr Ellingham.

Hello.

Just go round to the car, round the other side.

You know, your father's condition is probably treatable.

Has he been like this long?

#NAVN? - He was, all the mood swings and that.

Just... he usually got better quicker than this.

#NAVN? - No, he was never really this bad.

And I didn't know what to do.

I was just trying to... trying to look after him. After all of us.

Wallace, what about your mother?

She left us.

We haven't heard from her in about... I dunno, eight years.

Dad was worried we were gonna get taken into care.

He...

just wanted to make us like a normal family, like everyone else.

Right.

That's it, mind your head.

You're a good boy.

Give your mum a hug.

What do you think happened?

It appears to be a disorder precipitated by abandonment.

He was trying to be Doreen?

Well, I think the trauma of her leaving must have triggered his psychosis.

I don't think these helped, not one little bit.

Bloody hell.

How's the fishing?

Slow.

Can I have a try? I never catch anything, but...

You're always so impatient, aren't you? Here.

Huh! D'you remember that time that you... we went out in the boat, right?

And you were struggling to reel it in and you were worried you were gonna lose it.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

#NAVN? - You dived in. That's right, you idiot.

#NAVN? - "Don't worry, dad, don't worry!

I'll... l'll catch it.

Then you dived in even though I could swim better than you.

- That's right. #NAVN?

Yeah.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Don't be.

Ayurvedic medicines.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Given to someone already suffering from psychosis, the effects can be catastrophic.

I didn't realise she was that ill.

Hadn't it struck you at your clinic?

#NAVN? - You've never met her.

#NAVN? #NAVN?

Who, for the last eight years, has been under the delusion

that he is both Victor and Doreen Flint in one body.

#NAVN?

There's a reason why we see patients before prescribing treatment.

It's called good practice.

People feel comfortable when they come and see me, unlike you.

The minute I start handing out treatments to people I've never met,

please feel free to call me a stupid, arrogant, unqualified charlatan.

Are you gonna let him treat me like that?

Look, you're always bossing me around, undermining and insulting me.

- You criticise my personal life, my weight. - You're not overweight.

You're not a nice person, Sandra.

- Oh, stop showing off. #NAVN?

#NAVN? #NAVN?

#NAVN? #NAVN?

- I'll go in the morning. - No. You'll leave now.

And I'll be having this back as well, thank you.

Wallace. Paddy.

Brought you summat.

Well there's... there's no need. Um...

Dad's gonna be OK because of you.

Did you kill that dog for me?

No. Car hit it.

You can't even see the tyre marks. Want you to take it.

Thank you, but...

Oh, no, you're gonna take it, Doc.

Thank you. Thank you very much.