Original subtitles

It's done. Knuckles is headed your way.

We're in position.

He's almost at the penthouse.

As soon as you have him,

you send my mom and my sister down to me, and please...

just don't hurt him.

- No promises.

What the...

What is that?

- Peekaboo.

Oh, shoot and darn it.

I forgot to tell you guys one thing.

Knuckles has been listening the whole time.

You messed with the wrong warrior.

" by Elton John playing]

- Big mistake. Huge.

Oh man...

- Stop hitting yourself!

Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

- Wade! How did you get here?

I snuck in the back stairs, then, using my cat-like reflexes

and natural ability to be overlooked,

I was able to get in the room.

Besides, they were more focused on Knuckles anyway.

I'm here to rescue you guys!

- Oh, thank God. We really need your help. - No, Mom! We don't.

I'm gonna get us outta here on my own.

Wanda, please don't start that again.

- Yeah, don't be a hero, Wanda. - I am a hero!

I've accidentally locked myself in those cuffs so many times,

Tom gave me a master key!

Wade, you saved us!

- What are you doing? - No. Wade, stop. Stop touching me!

- Stop! No-- - Stop moving your hands! If you stop moving your hands, then I--

- I'm doing a thing right now! - What are you doing?!

I'm doing an FBI thing

where I slip my own hands out of these handcuffs

by dislocating my thumb. Here I go.

- Ow! Oh! - Just let me do it!

It'll be way less painful and quicker!

I'm almost there. Ow!

- You're screaming in pain. - Ow! Ah! I'm almost there!

Let your brother rescue you!

This isn't over yet...

No! I'm not letting Wade rescue me! No freaking way!

- Ah, Knuckles!

- Let's do this.

- This ends now.

Okay. Fine. Fine, you win.

- Knuckles, you okay? - Wade! Stay back.

Not this time.

Aaaah!

- Ah! Get off me! - Ah! No!

No, I can't get sucked into that thing! Help me!

This ain't good.

Dude! That was awesome!

I can't believe the plan worked. We did it!

Wade Whipple, you must hurry.

Your Tournament of Champions is about to conclude!

The tournament? You mean--

Yes. Your greatest victory still awaits.

- This is your last chance to face your ultimate foe!

The schmuck known as your father,

in a ritual trial by combat on your own personal battleground!

I'd like five minutes alone with him in a trial by combat.

The time has come for you to prove your worth

as a champion, and a warrior.

You know what? You're right. This is it.

This is finally my chance

- to-- - Got i!

- I got it!

- Told you I would do it! - W-Wanda, put that thing away.

- Impressive battle wound, Wanda Whipple.

Thanks, Knucks.

We are here at the final round

of the Bowling Tournament of Champions

in beautiful Reno, Nevada, or as I like to call it,

-"Las Vegas for losers."

Once again, the heavy favorite's from overseas,

where they bowl on the wrong side of the lane.

I'm talking about the team led by 27-time winner

and legend of the lanes,

Pistol... Pete... Whipple!

- Look at that swagger. - Wow, look at the attitude.

I mean, this guy is all confidence.

- This crowd is goin' nuts for Pistol Pete.

Are you ready for a show?

- Jordan. Gretzky. - Yes.

Brady. These are the names you think of

when you think of athletes that have defined their sport.

And with a win today, I would argue

that Pistol Pete's face should be chiseled up there

- on the Mount Rushmore of bowling as well.

Next time she needs an after-school activity,

we're doing piano lessons.

And in the challenger's corner,

we have a young upstart team

looking to have their first taste of championship glory.

It's fronted by a small-town Montana sheriff's deputy,

who also happens to be...

- Pistol Pete's long-lost son! - What?

- Allegedly. - Now, here's a good father-son story.

Rumor has it that Pistol Pete

abandoned his son at a local TJ Maxx,

choosing a bowling career over his parenting duties.

I wanna say, regardless of how you feel

- about childhood abandonment, and I'm against it... - Hm. Me, too.

...the deals at TJ Maxx cannot be beat.

No, I wish my dad left me at a TJ Maxx.

But, you know what? Let's settle this score once and for all

and bring out our challenger,

Mr. Wade Whipple...

- Yes!

- Yes, Wade! Here he comes, everybody! - Go, Wade!

Get ready!

- Sorry, where is he?

- Uh... I'm not, uh... - Is he not...

I gave him the-- Mr. Wade Whipple!

- Just like that scene in The Sound of Music... - L-Let me do it again.

- Maybe he didn't hear it. Let me hear it. Uh...

Let's settle the score once and for all and bring out

Wade Whipple!

Wade? Wade Whipple.

- Oh, man. - Wade Whipple?

I-I don't have him. I don't have eyes on him.

Okay, well, I-- What do you mean stretch it out?

- I can't stretch it out... - We're supposed to fill time. You know what?

L-L-Let's do some of the fun facts.

Oh. Oh, what a pity.

It appears my opponent...

is officially a no-show.

Which means, once again, I...

- am the winner!

Put... that trophy... down.

- Dad.

- Wow... Okay. - Wow... Lotta drama.

Oh! There he is.

Surprised to see me?

Can't say that I am.

You never were the sharpest thorn in the briar patch.

I don't have any idea what that means,

but I'm sure it's insulting.

If I wanted to insult you, dear boy,

I'd tell you you are in over your head,

out of your league,

and 10 pins away

from the most humiliating defeat of your life.

- Oh, snap! I heard that! - Ooh! That's gotta hurt!

- I heard that one! In front of everybody!

And if I was to insult you,

I'd say your game's gotten weak,

your costume smells funky,

and, quite frankly, your accent sounds fake.

- Sick burn, baby! - Really? Even the last one?

- Oh! Should we be allowed to hear this?

- I think not. - Should we be-- I mean, this is private!

I'm going to give you one last chance, Wade,

to do what I did all those years ago

and just... walk... away.

Because there's no way you can win, dear boy.

You see all these lovely people?

Every single one of them is here

because they love me.

And they have absolutely no bloody idea

who the hell you are!

Oh yeah, old man?

- They will.

- Wow! - Whoa!

Those are some athletic-looking thighs!

I mean, but get them in the sun.

I don't think I'm supposed to be looking at that.

Let's roll.

Yes, Wade!

Wade, put your pants back on, dude.

It'll be cooler.

Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete!

Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete!

Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete!

Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete!

Wade Whipple!

- Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple! - Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple!

Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete!

- Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple! - Wade Whipple!

It's Whipple versus Whipple

as the Tournament of Champions finals

are officially underway.

Can't wait.

- Oh! Right out of the gate! - Wow.

Here we go. This is some great bowling action.

Yeah.

That's how it's done.

Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete!

Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete!

Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete! Pistol Pete...

Man, your dad's a real turd bucket, huh?

Yeah, I've recently come to realize that.

Ahhhhh...

Better keep up, dear boy. That is, unless,

you're ready to wave the white flag and surrender.

- I'm Wade Whipple.

Lieutenant Deputy of the smallest town in Montana.

I don't know the meaning of the word "surrender." Water bottle.

- I have not yet begun to ball.

- Yes! Yes!

- Wade not backing down at all!

- Look at the balls on this guy. - Oh. Tit for tat.

Look, I'm not a doctor, but technically,

- they share the same blood... - Can I get a beer, please?

- Yeah, sure.

- Hm...

This truly is a strange little planet.

Can I get you anything, honey?

Yes. Bring me your largest challah bread.

- Bam!

- Yes!

Ha, yes!

Woo!

- Uh-oh!

Pistol Pete looking a little worried over there.

- Oh, yeah, he looks intimidated. - You know, I think he's, uh,

got a little bit tougher competitor than he thought.

Gettin' nervous yet, old timer?

Nervous? Don't be ridiculous.

Woo-hoo! You go, Wade! And whatever happens,

- I'm proud of you! - Wade!

Please! Please don't choke today!

- Just please don't do it! Do great! Okay?

Okay!

Hm... That sounds troubling.

Knuckles the Echidna.

It's an honor to meet you at last.

I thought you'd give me more of a fight.

- This is it.

It's all going to come down to this final frame.

- You got this, Pete.

- Oh...

- Yes! I love you, pin! - Oh, for heaven's sakes.

That miss gives Wade a chance.

- If he can get a strike here, he could win the tournament.

You should pick up this spare, no problem.

- Wow!

- Those are fightin' words right there. - Sick dig!

Someone's about to get slapped!

- Great use of the term "sick dig," by the way.

Unflappable.

This is so dramatic.

Because as it comes down to this,

if Wade Whipple bowls another strike,

he'll be on his way to a perfect game

and a tournament championship.

Not to mention an emotional victory

over the man who left him

a fatherless, stunted,

utter shell of a human being.

- Okay... - And the question is,

does Wade have the strength to finish this fight?

Well, do you, dear boy?

Are you strong enough

to strike down your own father in battle?

To do whatever it takes to claim

that championship trophy?

Or are you just another schmuck with a nickname?

Wade the Warrior?

Oh, I know I'm strong enough, Dad.

Really?

Because all my life,

I've learned from great warriors.

- Hm. - I learned from a mother

who never stopped fighting for her family.

I learned from her sister, who's honestly a little bit annoying,

but amazingly fearless and headstrong.

But most of all, I learned from the greatest warrior

in the entire galaxy,

who taught me that real warriors wouldn't exist

if not for those who came before them,

showed them the way, and never stopped fighting,

no matter how hard the battle became.

That's why I never would've found my greatest strength,

my true power,

without my friend, Knuckles the Echidna.

Now, Dylan, normally it doesn't take this long

- for bowlers to bowl. - Yeah, I agree, Gary.

It seems as though he is monologuing.

That's highly unorthodox.

Nice speech.

But you left out one small detail.

- You're a loser, Wade.

You always have been,

and you always will be.

Well, would a loser do this?

- Yes!

- Oh! Unbelievable! - Oh! The upstart has done it!

Oh, my God, I did it!

I won! I'm a champion!

- Whoa! Duck!

- Knuckles? - Wade Whipple!

Get your people to safety

- before they--

- Wade! Where are you going? - To help my friend!

- Knuckles? - Wade!

Stay back!

Okay, the stakes have been raised considerably.

Don't worry, Echidna. This'll all be over soon.

- All I need is...

every ounce of your power.

- Knuckles!

- What are you doing to him?!

Your power is mine, echidna.

Your only purpose now...

is to die!

Knuckles! Buddy!

What did he do to you?

You caused me a lotta trouble.

- Now I'm gonna make you pay.

You think you're so tough,

hiding behind that metal onesie you're wearing?

I'm not scared of you. Come and get me!

Okay, I was bluffing.

- Hm?

- Whoa!

Somebody call for backup?

We thought you could use a hand.

- God, that was a good line.

Alright, Wade. Let's do this.

Let's roll.

Knuckles, I hope you can hear this.

You taught me how to stand up for myself and fight!

And we're stronger than ever now...

because we fight together!

A warrior's true strength comes from their heart.

And your heart has never been bigger!

You fight to honor your family!

You fight to protect your friends!

And now, you have something new to fight for.

A home!

Looks like you're all out of balls!

- This is my home!

- No! No!

- My power!

The Flames of Disaster!

Come on!

- Finish him, Knucks!

Victory is ours.

Wow. Well, there you have it, folks.

This proves what I've been saying all along.

Absolutely anything can happen

in the National Bowling Championships.

You know, Gary, I looked it up,

and actually, this has happened before.

There was a visit by an extraterrestrial

in the 1974 tourney,

- but I don't think he was red. - Well, you might be right,

but I'm gonna tell you, this time was a lot more fun.

- What a show tonight, people. - So fun. Oh!

Looks like there's some more action down on the lanes.

Hey! That dork burger's stealing the trophy!

- Shut your gob hole, you little brat! - Oh no!

Pistol Pete is stealing the trophy,

and he lost the tourney!

I don't know what the rule book says about this, Gary.

- Oh, no, you don't.

Take your hands off my son's trophy, you schmuck!

Mom, that was awesome!

Ever think about joining the FBI?

Well, if it means I can spend more time

with my daughter, I'd love to.

You did it, Wade Whipple! You won!

Buddy, we did it.

- Hey, Knuckles!

How about some new road trip music?

I call this mix "Knuckles and Wade Warrior Jammerz."

What is this amazing song?

This is...

my jam!