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Previously on Young Sheldon...
Hello.
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00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:04,072
I'm here for tutoring
with Sheldon.
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00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:07,543
Oh, he's helping you?
Isn't that nice?
4
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:08,942
I'm tutoring him.
5
00:00:08,977 --> 00:00:10,712
Come on.
I just gave you a hint.
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00:00:10,746 --> 00:00:12,615
We solve for the geodesics.
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00:00:12,647 --> 00:00:14,015
Wrong.
Ow!
8
00:00:15,451 --> 00:00:17,251
What?
9
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:20,655
Sorry, just a funny part
of the Bible.
10
00:00:22,658 --> 00:00:23,859
Oh, Shelly,
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00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,960
you got a package
from your little friend.
12
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,370
Dr. Sturgis sent me something?
He's so cute.
13
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:29,532
No, your tutor friend
from Germany.
14
00:00:29,565 --> 00:00:31,966
Mei-Tung was not my tutor,
she just assisted me
15
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,701
in learning things
I didn't understand yet.
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00:00:33,735 --> 00:00:35,438
What'd you get?
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00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,838
It's the latest issue
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00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:38,573
of the InternationalPhysics Review.
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"Sheldon, check out page 58.
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"I never thought
I'd be published
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in such a prestigious journal."
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Wow, good for her.
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00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:46,381
Good for her?
What kind of monster sends mail
24
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,726
across multiple time zones just
to rub their success in my face?
25
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:51,051
Indulging the ramblings
of a child.
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00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,954
My respect for this
esteemed journal is plummeting.
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00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:55,790
Oh, my.
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00:00:55,825 --> 00:00:57,125
What is it?
29
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,326
It's the paper I wrote
with Mei-Tung.
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I'm the coauthor of an article
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00:01:00,896 --> 00:01:02,865
in a highly esteemed
physics journal.
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00:01:02,898 --> 00:01:04,998
Well, that's neat, Sheldon.
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00:01:05,033 --> 00:01:06,545
Neat is a robot that doesn't
look like a truck
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00:01:06,569 --> 00:01:07,670
that turns into a truck.
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This treatise revolutionizes
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00:01:09,037 --> 00:01:10,772
the theory of manifolds.
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What word would you
like me to use?
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How about... transformative?
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00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,378
Sheldon, that's transformative.
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00:01:17,412 --> 00:01:18,980
Thank you.
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00:01:19,781 --> 00:01:21,750
Hey.
Hey, how was school?
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Good. I got an "A."
43
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That's amazing!
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She gets an "amazing"?
45
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All-all she did was color
inside the lines.
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She tell you?
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Yes, so great.
48
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,061
Dad, I got published in
International Physics Review.
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Nice, buddy.
50
00:01:35,664 --> 00:01:38,066
Ooh, new boat catalog.
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
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An "A"?
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That's nice, sweetie.
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It's Medford from the year
I was born.
59
00:02:01,524 --> 00:02:03,926
Aren't we going a little
overboard with this "A" thing?
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00:02:03,959 --> 00:02:06,326
Hey, some of us
never got an "A."
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00:02:06,361 --> 00:02:08,497
Really?
Not even one?
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If only they graded lunch.
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00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:14,402
I'll have you know,
I love my body.
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00:02:14,436 --> 00:02:18,272
Shelly, tell your meemaw
about your fancy article.
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Gladly. As an alternative
to the Calabi-Yau manifold,
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00:02:20,842 --> 00:02:22,342
we've come up with a new shape
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to compactify the extra
dimensions in string theory.
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Well...
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hot dog.
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Hot dog?
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00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,987
Maybe explain it
a little more simply.
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She means dumb it down.
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Hey. But, yeah.
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00:02:37,292 --> 00:02:39,627
You know how
a Mobius strip generalized
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00:02:39,662 --> 00:02:41,462
to the third dimension is
a Klein bottle?
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Dumber.
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00:02:42,664 --> 00:02:44,240
A Mobius strip is
a two-dimensional manifold
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that's embedded in...
Dumber.
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00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,437
Do you know what a square is?
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00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,038
Yes.
Cube?
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00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,372
Of course.
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00:02:51,406 --> 00:02:54,308
Then you know what
a C-8 octachoron is.
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And for your information,
I've lost a little weight.
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00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,848
You got to eat them Cheerios,
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00:03:00,883 --> 00:03:02,250
they're good for you.
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00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:03,762
You can tell 'cause there
ain't no cartoon on the box.
87
00:03:03,786 --> 00:03:05,252
Now, Cocoa Puffs
88
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,556
got that bird on 'em,
and he's cuckoo for 'em.
89
00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:10,725
Maybe she'd like some bananas
or some applesauce?
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00:03:10,759 --> 00:03:12,159
She don't like none of that.
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00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,728
Any of that.
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00:03:13,762 --> 00:03:15,128
Any of what?
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00:03:15,163 --> 00:03:17,264
She doesn't like any of that.
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00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,667
That's what I said.
95
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:21,235
No, you said,
"She don't like none of that."
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00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:23,337
We're sayin' the same thang.
97
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:26,675
No, we're saying the same thing.
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00:03:26,709 --> 00:03:27,742
Exactly.
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00:03:27,776 --> 00:03:28,877
And we aren't.
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00:03:28,911 --> 00:03:29,877
We ain't?
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00:03:29,912 --> 00:03:31,413
I just think you may want to try
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00:03:31,447 --> 00:03:34,515
speaking more properly
in front of your daughter.
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00:03:35,718 --> 00:03:37,352
Ain't nothin' wrong
with the way I talk.
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00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,787
Lotta people talk like me.
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00:03:39,788 --> 00:03:41,557
True, but maybe CeeCee will have
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better opportunities in life
if she's well-spoken.
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00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:46,961
She don't even talk yet.
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00:03:46,996 --> 00:03:49,698
No, she doesn't.
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00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:51,866
But she's listening
and she's learning,
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00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:55,302
and we don't want her first
word to be "dang it."
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00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,572
Better that than whatever
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00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,239
the snooty version
of "dang it" is.
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00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,974
It's "darn it."
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00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:01,743
Dang it, I knew that.
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Remarkable work.
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00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,048
Well done, lad.
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Yes, first paper
published at 14.
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00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,519
Oh. You're officially
a wunderkind.
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00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,820
Did you catch my sly in-joke
about a tesseract?
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00:04:12,854 --> 00:04:14,389
Did I?
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00:04:14,423 --> 00:04:15,556
I did.
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00:04:15,591 --> 00:04:16,792
Did you?
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I don't know.
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00:04:18,393 --> 00:04:20,632
It's refreshing to talk to
people who appreciate my work.
125
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,764
Appreciate it, understand it,
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00:04:22,798 --> 00:04:25,934
and are inspired by it.
Ditto, ditto and ditto.
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00:04:25,968 --> 00:04:29,336
And I'm sure your family
is very proud.
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00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:30,805
Yes, but not just me.
129
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,475
Childish maps, impregnating
a woman out of wedlock...
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00:04:33,509 --> 00:04:35,308
they're proud of all their kids.
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00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:39,882
The important thing is,
that kid belongs to us.
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00:04:39,915 --> 00:04:41,683
He is our cash cow.
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00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,018
Okay.
134
00:04:43,052 --> 00:04:44,528
Explain this to me
so I sound like I know
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00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:46,822
what I'm talking about
when I shake the donor tree.
136
00:04:46,855 --> 00:04:51,125
Well, young Mr. Cooper has
reimagined string theory.
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00:04:51,159 --> 00:04:53,896
And compactified dimensions
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00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:55,096
like nobody's business.
139
00:04:56,531 --> 00:04:59,168
You don't understand this,
do you?
140
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,802
No.
Not really.
141
00:05:00,836 --> 00:05:03,504
I mean, we get what he's trying to do.
Absolutely.
142
00:05:03,538 --> 00:05:06,240
No, we don't really understand it.
Not a bit.
143
00:05:06,274 --> 00:05:09,177
So two of the top minds
at our school are
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00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,646
flummoxed by a 14-year-old.
145
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,980
Well, "flummoxed"
is a strong word.
146
00:05:13,014 --> 00:05:14,850
But accurate.
Accurate.
147
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:17,985
Mm-hmm. Okay, maybe I can
sell this by saying
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00:05:18,019 --> 00:05:20,021
that this is so advanced
149
00:05:20,055 --> 00:05:22,389
that even other
brilliant scientists
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00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,792
don't understand it.
151
00:05:23,826 --> 00:05:24,860
Sexy.
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00:05:24,893 --> 00:05:25,961
Don't do that.
153
00:05:30,499 --> 00:05:31,500
Hello?
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00:05:31,533 --> 00:05:33,266
This is she.
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00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:36,672
Oh, really?
Who is it?
156
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,338
If it's a guy
about a boat, hang up.
157
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,742
One moment, please.
It's Princeton.
158
00:05:40,776 --> 00:05:43,276
They want to talk about Sheldon
going to grad school.
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00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:44,545
Ooh, what are they offering?
160
00:05:44,579 --> 00:05:46,048
I don't know.
Full-ride?
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00:05:46,081 --> 00:05:48,016
I said I don't know.
Well, ask 'em.
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00:05:48,050 --> 00:05:49,218
I will if you'll shut up.
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00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,319
Okay, but I wouldn't
use that tone.
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00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:55,456
I'll get it.
Remember, cash is king.
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00:05:58,060 --> 00:05:59,427
Well, howdy.
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00:05:59,461 --> 00:06:01,028
Is this the Cooper residence?
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00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:02,197
It is.
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00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:04,298
Phil Lambert,
Stanford University.
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00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:06,367
I was just passing
through Medford
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00:06:06,401 --> 00:06:10,303
and I would love to talk to you
about your son's future.
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00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,807
Come on in, Phil.
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00:06:14,610 --> 00:06:15,978
Hey, Mare,
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00:06:16,011 --> 00:06:18,680
tell Princeton,
Stanford's passing through.
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00:06:20,519 --> 00:06:21,987
Well, thanks for stopping by.
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00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,855
Well, I was kind of hoping
I could meet Sheldon.
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00:06:24,889 --> 00:06:26,091
All in good time.
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00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:27,535
We still got to whip
some of the lumps
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00:06:27,559 --> 00:06:29,360
out of that offer of yours.
We'll be in touch.
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00:06:29,394 --> 00:06:30,795
Okay.
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00:06:31,997 --> 00:06:33,398
Whip some of the lumps?
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00:06:33,432 --> 00:06:36,134
Point is, Sheldon's
gobbledygook article
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00:06:36,168 --> 00:06:37,435
got us a bidding war.
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00:06:37,468 --> 00:06:39,047
George, what do you know
about grad school?
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00:06:39,071 --> 00:06:41,773
Nothing, but I do know about
recruiting blue chip talent.
185
00:06:41,807 --> 00:06:44,240
These schools want him,
and we got him.
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00:06:44,274 --> 00:06:46,077
He's not a prize heifer
to auction off.
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00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:49,880
Mary, we got two average kids.
Let's cash in on the smart one.
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00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:54,853
Do you think I talk funny?
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00:06:54,886 --> 00:06:56,153
What'd my mom say?
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00:06:56,187 --> 00:06:58,923
Just that I should
speak more proper.
191
00:06:58,956 --> 00:07:01,526
You're fine, and she should
mind her own business.
192
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,730
Thanks, 'cause she's all worried
CeeCee's gonna sound like me.
193
00:07:04,762 --> 00:07:06,464
Oh.
194
00:07:06,497 --> 00:07:07,499
What?
195
00:07:08,632 --> 00:07:10,233
Nothing.
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00:07:11,036 --> 00:07:12,670
You know,
197
00:07:12,704 --> 00:07:15,271
when I was a weather girl,
I took some speech classes,
198
00:07:15,307 --> 00:07:17,309
and they really seemed to help.
199
00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:18,910
Did you used to sound like me?
200
00:07:19,911 --> 00:07:22,713
Oh, sweetie, no.
201
00:07:24,915 --> 00:07:27,151
Incoming, nine o'clock.
202
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:29,454
Well, I hope you two are happy.
203
00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:30,889
Sheldon is being recruited
204
00:07:30,922 --> 00:07:32,891
by Princeton, by Stanford,
205
00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:34,326
MIT, Caltech.
206
00:07:34,358 --> 00:07:36,894
We are losing him,
and you two have done nothing.
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00:07:36,927 --> 00:07:38,329
What can we do?
208
00:07:38,362 --> 00:07:39,841
Those are some of the
best schools in the world.
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00:07:39,865 --> 00:07:42,233
We have a wonderful
graduate program for physics.
210
00:07:42,266 --> 00:07:43,502
Actually...
211
00:07:43,534 --> 00:07:45,569
You're the chair
of the department.
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00:07:45,603 --> 00:07:48,038
Yes, and the program
is far from wonderful.
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00:07:48,072 --> 00:07:49,574
That said,
214
00:07:49,608 --> 00:07:52,778
our animal husbandry department
is first-rate.
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00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:54,178
Fine.
216
00:07:54,211 --> 00:07:56,715
We have other cards
to play. Uh...
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00:07:56,747 --> 00:07:59,350
we're near his family,
and he loves you two...
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00:07:59,384 --> 00:08:01,386
God knows why...
219
00:08:01,418 --> 00:08:03,654
and most importantly,
220
00:08:03,687 --> 00:08:04,990
he hates change.
221
00:08:05,023 --> 00:08:08,326
I changed deodorants once.
He made me change it back.
222
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,728
Apparently, I smelled
too outdoorsy.
223
00:08:10,762 --> 00:08:12,473
All right, look, we-we've
been catering to Sheldon
224
00:08:12,497 --> 00:08:13,497
and his family for years,
225
00:08:13,531 --> 00:08:15,199
so let's take advantage
226
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,334
of what we know
227
00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:17,502
and use it to keep him
228
00:08:17,536 --> 00:08:19,069
at East Texas Tech.
229
00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:22,072
His mother is very religious.
230
00:08:22,106 --> 00:08:24,009
Someone might mention
231
00:08:24,042 --> 00:08:26,711
Caltech was founded
232
00:08:26,745 --> 00:08:27,778
by a Satanist.
233
00:08:27,812 --> 00:08:30,348
Good, good.
Wait-wait, is that true?
234
00:08:30,382 --> 00:08:33,217
Actually, I don't care.
We're using it.
235
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,419
It is true.
And again, I don't care,
236
00:08:35,452 --> 00:08:37,721
So, what else we got?
237
00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:41,493
Eh, with all the freeways
and traffic in California,
238
00:08:41,525 --> 00:08:42,693
he's gonna need a car.
239
00:08:42,726 --> 00:08:43,828
George, he's 14.
240
00:08:43,861 --> 00:08:45,096
Right.
241
00:08:45,129 --> 00:08:46,965
He's gonna need a car
and a driver.
242
00:08:46,998 --> 00:08:48,099
We can arrange that.
243
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:49,366
So, what do you say?
244
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,836
Stephen Hawking
and Sheldon Cooper
245
00:08:50,869 --> 00:08:52,037
together at Caltech?
246
00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:53,772
It's very promising.
247
00:08:53,804 --> 00:08:55,440
And of course,
some of our alumni
248
00:08:55,472 --> 00:08:57,241
include John Kennedy,
249
00:08:57,274 --> 00:08:58,509
Franklin Roosevelt,
250
00:08:58,543 --> 00:09:00,278
newly appointed
Supreme Court Justice
251
00:09:00,312 --> 00:09:01,645
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
252
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:04,682
That's an awful lot
of Democrats.
253
00:09:04,716 --> 00:09:07,418
Although Harvard did have
some impressive alumni.
254
00:09:07,451 --> 00:09:08,653
Bunch of presidents
255
00:09:08,687 --> 00:09:11,255
and that gal on the court.
Mm-hmm.
256
00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:13,792
I thought U.T.
was burnt orange?
257
00:09:13,825 --> 00:09:16,260
Oh, no, that's the
University of Texas.
258
00:09:16,293 --> 00:09:18,897
We're the University of Toronto.
Go, True Blue.
259
00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:20,332
Toronto?
260
00:09:20,365 --> 00:09:22,701
Yes, sir, we're the Harvard
of the North, eh.
261
00:09:22,734 --> 00:09:24,402
Well, you should
probably get going.
262
00:09:24,436 --> 00:09:25,803
Got a long trip ahead of you.
263
00:09:25,836 --> 00:09:27,672
I like everything
I'm hearing, but,
264
00:09:27,706 --> 00:09:29,482
at the end of the day,
this'll be Sheldon's choice.
265
00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:31,408
Absolutely.
Hang on a sec.
266
00:09:31,442 --> 00:09:33,445
I see an engineering department,
267
00:09:33,477 --> 00:09:35,313
a physics department,
computer lab.
268
00:09:35,347 --> 00:09:37,716
What I don't see is a church.
269
00:09:37,749 --> 00:09:40,217
Don't worry, we have a beautiful
270
00:09:40,251 --> 00:09:43,153
nondenominational chapel
built in 1956.
271
00:09:43,187 --> 00:09:44,588
Nondenominational?
272
00:09:44,623 --> 00:09:46,423
Everyone's welcome.
273
00:09:54,599 --> 00:09:56,033
Hello, Sheldon.
274
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,168
There's my guy.
275
00:09:57,201 --> 00:09:58,570
Oh, hello.
276
00:09:58,602 --> 00:09:59,738
Is everything okay?
277
00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:01,038
Does something have to be wrong
278
00:10:01,072 --> 00:10:02,375
to hang out with a pal?
279
00:10:02,407 --> 00:10:03,841
Here at East Texas Tech,
280
00:10:03,875 --> 00:10:06,076
we're not just your faculty,
we're your friends.
281
00:10:06,110 --> 00:10:07,312
In the past, you made it
282
00:10:07,346 --> 00:10:08,212
very clear that
we're not friends.
283
00:10:08,245 --> 00:10:09,614
That's just me
284
00:10:09,648 --> 00:10:10,447
giving you the business
the way buddies do,
285
00:10:10,481 --> 00:10:13,051
you little scamp.
286
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,885
Sorry, that was a little hard.
287
00:10:14,919 --> 00:10:16,988
We know this recruiting thing
can be stressful,
288
00:10:17,022 --> 00:10:20,191
and we just wanted to see
how you're holding up.
289
00:10:20,225 --> 00:10:21,592
It's actually not
stressful at all.
290
00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:24,261
My parents have been
handling most of it.
291
00:10:24,296 --> 00:10:25,505
That's great.
That's why it's good
292
00:10:25,529 --> 00:10:27,465
to have family close by.
293
00:10:27,499 --> 00:10:28,732
Friends and family
294
00:10:28,767 --> 00:10:31,469
just a hop, skip
and a jump away.
295
00:10:31,503 --> 00:10:33,138
I don't hop, skip or jump.
296
00:10:33,171 --> 00:10:34,383
See, that's that sense of humor
297
00:10:34,407 --> 00:10:36,341
that we get but
strangers may not.
298
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,076
Yes.
299
00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:39,476
Son, I know you have
300
00:10:39,510 --> 00:10:40,912
a lot of options
for grad school,
301
00:10:40,946 --> 00:10:42,880
and I'm sure you'll
make the right choice
302
00:10:42,913 --> 00:10:44,883
for yourself and your
sweet, aging grandma.
303
00:10:44,915 --> 00:10:47,552
Who will miss you
so much if you leave.
304
00:10:47,585 --> 00:10:49,225
Moon Pie... isn't that
what she calls you?
305
00:10:49,254 --> 00:10:50,956
Yes.
Sweet.
306
00:10:50,989 --> 00:10:52,657
So sweet.
307
00:10:55,527 --> 00:10:57,861
Hey, what you doing?
308
00:10:57,895 --> 00:10:59,029
Reading.
309
00:10:59,831 --> 00:11:01,499
English Grammar and Composition?
310
00:11:01,533 --> 00:11:02,900
It's Missy's.
311
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:05,769
You know, you don't
have to do this.
312
00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:07,905
Well, I want to
do it for CeeCee.
313
00:11:09,006 --> 00:11:10,442
Well, maybe I can help.
314
00:11:10,475 --> 00:11:11,443
Yeah?
315
00:11:11,475 --> 00:11:12,644
Yeah, you don't need a book.
316
00:11:12,677 --> 00:11:14,511
Let's just start simple.
317
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:19,250
Um, instead of "ain't,"
try "isn't."
318
00:11:19,283 --> 00:11:21,052
That isn't gonna be a problem.
319
00:11:21,086 --> 00:11:25,056
There you go.
Now, let's work on "wasn't."
320
00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:26,124
Wadn't.
321
00:11:26,157 --> 00:11:27,892
Wasn't.
322
00:11:27,926 --> 00:11:29,126
Wadn't.
323
00:11:29,159 --> 00:11:30,695
See, I'm not hearing the "S."
324
00:11:30,729 --> 00:11:33,597
That's 'cause it wadn't there.
325
00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:35,209
So, we've narrowed it down to
326
00:11:35,232 --> 00:11:36,600
five schools.
327
00:11:36,634 --> 00:11:38,274
We got Caltech
and Stanford in California.
328
00:11:38,303 --> 00:11:39,903
The left coast.
Mom.
329
00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:41,005
It is.
330
00:11:41,038 --> 00:11:42,039
Can I continue?
331
00:11:42,072 --> 00:11:43,341
Also known as
332
00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:44,719
the land of
fruits and nuts. Continue.
333
00:11:44,743 --> 00:11:47,011
And on the East Coast,
we got MIT,
334
00:11:47,044 --> 00:11:48,313
Harvard and Princeton.
335
00:11:48,346 --> 00:11:49,547
Damn Yankees.
336
00:11:49,581 --> 00:11:51,816
We can't move
the schools, Connie.
337
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:53,995
There's also East Texas Tech.
338
00:11:54,019 --> 00:11:55,720
Is that a school
that you're considering?
339
00:11:55,754 --> 00:11:57,822
I have friends there,
and it's close to all of you.
340
00:11:57,855 --> 00:11:59,700
- Why would you want to be close to us?
- Missy.
341
00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:01,225
This is your decision,
342
00:12:01,259 --> 00:12:03,037
but best I understand,
these other schools are
343
00:12:03,061 --> 00:12:06,563
the major leagues,
and East Texas Tech is T-ball.
344
00:12:06,597 --> 00:12:08,466
Please don't make
sports analogies.
345
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,503
Fine.
346
00:12:10,534 --> 00:12:13,304
These schools are like...
Superman
347
00:12:13,339 --> 00:12:15,307
and East Texas Tech is like...
348
00:12:15,341 --> 00:12:17,107
regular man?
349
00:12:17,142 --> 00:12:18,710
Better, I think.
350
00:12:18,743 --> 00:12:20,845
If you're worried
about being far away,
351
00:12:20,879 --> 00:12:22,614
they're all offering to pay for
352
00:12:22,647 --> 00:12:23,881
travel expenses so you can
353
00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:25,484
come home for the holidays.
354
00:12:25,518 --> 00:12:27,786
But to be clear,
you don't have to.
355
00:12:27,818 --> 00:12:29,854
And we can also
come and visit you.
356
00:12:29,888 --> 00:12:31,990
Ooh, free trip. I like that.
357
00:12:32,023 --> 00:12:34,326
You were just complaining
about these places.
358
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,827
I can complain on a beach.
359
00:12:37,629 --> 00:12:39,730
This is a difficult decision.
360
00:12:39,764 --> 00:12:43,835
Which is why we're all
here to help you make it.
361
00:12:46,104 --> 00:12:47,938
♪ Now, this is a story ♪
362
00:12:47,971 --> 00:12:49,475
♪ All about how my life got... ♪
363
00:12:49,508 --> 00:12:51,142
Are we not done?
364
00:12:51,176 --> 00:12:53,244
It-it felt done.
365
00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:04,624
Come in.
366
00:13:05,558 --> 00:13:07,059
What are you doing?
367
00:13:07,094 --> 00:13:08,528
I can't sleep.
368
00:13:08,562 --> 00:13:10,398
This is the biggest
decision of my life.
369
00:13:10,431 --> 00:13:11,865
What's all this?
370
00:13:11,898 --> 00:13:12,832
I'm employing
371
00:13:12,865 --> 00:13:14,268
an algorithm to
assigns points to
372
00:13:14,302 --> 00:13:15,878
each school so I can
statistically decide
373
00:13:15,902 --> 00:13:17,004
which is the best.
374
00:13:17,037 --> 00:13:18,272
Hmm.
375
00:13:18,306 --> 00:13:20,573
How about
"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe"?
376
00:13:21,442 --> 00:13:22,542
I won't miss you.
377
00:13:22,576 --> 00:13:24,479
Same.
What school's winning?
378
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,413
I've narrowed it down
to Caltech and MIT.
379
00:13:26,447 --> 00:13:27,947
Geographically equidistant,
380
00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:29,826
so the travel time home
would be about the same.
381
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,884
Caltech has Stephen Hawking,
which is exciting,
382
00:13:31,918 --> 00:13:33,453
but he hasn't won a Nobel Prize,
383
00:13:33,488 --> 00:13:36,155
unlike Henry Kendall at MIT,
who recently did.
384
00:13:36,188 --> 00:13:37,624
What's this little guy?
385
00:13:37,657 --> 00:13:39,460
Both schools' mascot
is a beaver.
386
00:13:39,494 --> 00:13:40,760
Not pertinent to my needs,
387
00:13:40,793 --> 00:13:43,562
but amusing nonetheless.
Mm.
388
00:13:43,596 --> 00:13:45,131
Well, if you want my opinion,
389
00:13:45,164 --> 00:13:47,176
I say pick the one that's
near the beach and Hollywood.
390
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,036
I hate those. Advantage MIT.
391
00:13:49,068 --> 00:13:50,604
Where's that?
Boston.
392
00:13:50,636 --> 00:13:52,706
So, what's your gut say?
393
00:13:52,739 --> 00:13:55,442
It doesn't say anything.
It's not a thinking organ.
394
00:13:55,475 --> 00:13:58,312
Fine, what's your...
Spidey-sense tell you?
395
00:13:58,346 --> 00:14:02,316
Spidey-sense warns Peter Parker
of imminent danger.
396
00:14:02,350 --> 00:14:03,950
It doesn't help him
pick schools.
397
00:14:04,784 --> 00:14:06,787
Well, the important thing is,
398
00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:08,721
no matter where you go,
399
00:14:08,754 --> 00:14:12,024
I'm gonna turn this room
into a dance studio.
400
00:14:13,092 --> 00:14:14,760
Mm-hmm.
401
00:14:21,835 --> 00:14:23,336
Howdy.
402
00:14:23,370 --> 00:14:24,604
Well, howdy yourself.
403
00:14:24,638 --> 00:14:26,474
Is this a bad time?
404
00:14:26,506 --> 00:14:27,874
No, but Sheldon's not here,
405
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,676
if you were hoping
to talk to him.
406
00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:32,645
No, I was fixing to talk
to you and your hubby.
407
00:14:32,678 --> 00:14:34,315
Come on in.
408
00:14:35,383 --> 00:14:36,517
I brought you some pecan pie
409
00:14:36,551 --> 00:14:38,751
and some beer to wash it down.
410
00:14:38,784 --> 00:14:40,221
You didn't have to do that.
411
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,654
Oh, it's no problem.
412
00:14:41,687 --> 00:14:43,356
It's my ding-dang pleasure.
413
00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:46,058
Okay. George?
414
00:14:47,126 --> 00:14:49,429
President Hagemeyer.
415
00:14:49,463 --> 00:14:50,807
This is a real honor,
having you visit.
416
00:14:50,831 --> 00:14:54,268
Oh, stop it with that
President nonsense.
417
00:14:54,302 --> 00:14:56,504
It's Linda... y'all.
418
00:14:56,537 --> 00:14:59,539
Okay, Linda,
so how can we help you?
419
00:14:59,573 --> 00:15:01,707
No, no, no, how can I help you?
420
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:03,244
Gee, I don't know.
421
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,520
Rain gutters could use cleaning.
422
00:15:04,544 --> 00:15:06,379
George.
Just a joke.
423
00:15:06,413 --> 00:15:08,181
Well, it doesn't have to be.
424
00:15:08,216 --> 00:15:10,250
You got a ladder
and some gloves, I'm your gal.
425
00:15:11,451 --> 00:15:13,153
And I guess that's why I'm here.
426
00:15:13,186 --> 00:15:15,590
You know, everybody's rolling
out the red carpet for Sheldon,
427
00:15:15,621 --> 00:15:16,990
as they should.
428
00:15:17,023 --> 00:15:19,692
But, I mean, who's
looking after your needs?
429
00:15:19,725 --> 00:15:22,062
Our needs?
I don't understand.
430
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:24,730
Wouldn't you like
all your children
431
00:15:24,764 --> 00:15:26,066
to be college graduates?
432
00:15:29,302 --> 00:15:30,437
Wait, are you serious?
433
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,606
I'm in a position to offer
434
00:15:32,639 --> 00:15:35,808
a full scholarship
to Sheldon's twin sister,
435
00:15:35,841 --> 00:15:38,479
his older brother,
and I understand
436
00:15:38,513 --> 00:15:39,846
there's a grandchild in the mix.
437
00:15:39,879 --> 00:15:42,450
Just imagine how expensive
tuition will be
438
00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:44,418
18 years from now.
439
00:15:44,451 --> 00:15:47,554
Wow, that is very generous.
440
00:15:47,587 --> 00:15:49,557
No, no, no, I don't...
I don't think so.
441
00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:50,890
No, I think it's just
442
00:15:50,923 --> 00:15:55,328
giving you good,
hardworking folk
443
00:15:55,363 --> 00:15:56,929
what you deserve.
444
00:15:57,864 --> 00:15:59,165
I don't know what to say.
445
00:15:59,198 --> 00:16:02,034
Yeah, we... we'll have
to talk it over a little.
446
00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:05,138
At the end of the day,
it's still Sheldon's decision.
447
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,706
Oh, of course, but-but
it's also a family decision,
448
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:11,912
and that is what
East Texas Tech is all about.
449
00:16:11,945 --> 00:16:13,346
Family.
450
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:16,883
Or, as I like to say, kin.
451
00:16:19,818 --> 00:16:23,390
Your mother has been helping me,
452
00:16:23,423 --> 00:16:26,226
and it has not been easy.
453
00:16:26,259 --> 00:16:29,462
But I'm going to
454
00:16:29,496 --> 00:16:32,232
keep working on it for you.
455
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,900
Okay, let's get you cleaned up.
456
00:16:35,669 --> 00:16:37,538
See? He's tryin'.
457
00:16:37,572 --> 00:16:39,004
Try-ing.
458
00:16:39,972 --> 00:16:42,309
It's nice to see.
Who's ready for coffee?
459
00:16:42,342 --> 00:16:45,778
I believe you mean,
"Whom's ready for coffee?"
460
00:16:46,712 --> 00:16:47,880
Whom's?
461
00:16:47,913 --> 00:16:50,384
Oh, let him have this one.
462
00:16:53,421 --> 00:16:54,888
Sheldon?
463
00:16:55,788 --> 00:16:57,123
Which is better?
464
00:16:57,157 --> 00:16:58,658
One or two?
465
00:16:58,692 --> 00:17:01,027
One, two?
466
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,297
Hat I'll never wear one,
hat I'll never wear two.
467
00:17:03,331 --> 00:17:04,531
Are you okay?
468
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,199
No, I didn't
sleep at all last night.
469
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,644
For the life of me,
I can't decide between
470
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:09,035
Caltech and MIT.
471
00:17:09,068 --> 00:17:10,637
No matter how I analyze it,
472
00:17:10,671 --> 00:17:11,638
how I break it down,
473
00:17:11,672 --> 00:17:13,307
they're basically equal.
474
00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:15,343
Great, then just pick
the one you want.
475
00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:17,644
What I want is to not have
to make this decision.
476
00:17:17,678 --> 00:17:21,914
Well, you could always
stay here.
477
00:17:21,948 --> 00:17:23,916
Maybe you're right.
Maybe deciding not to decide
478
00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:25,986
is the best decision
I can decide.
479
00:17:26,019 --> 00:17:26,819
Possibly.
480
00:17:26,853 --> 00:17:28,054
After all, an object at rest
481
00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:29,788
stays at rest.
That's just physics.
482
00:17:29,823 --> 00:17:32,226
The kind of physics
we understand.
483
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,461
Very well, I'll stay here,
484
00:17:34,494 --> 00:17:36,038
I'll work with you two,
and everything will be...
485
00:17:36,061 --> 00:17:38,131
Stop.
486
00:17:38,163 --> 00:17:39,798
I can't do this.
487
00:17:39,833 --> 00:17:42,536
I'm glad you said that.
I'm also having qualms.
488
00:17:42,569 --> 00:17:44,136
What are you talking about?
You.
489
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:46,406
We have to do
the right thing for him.
490
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,674
And for science.
491
00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:48,974
So, we're in agreement?
492
00:17:49,009 --> 00:17:50,677
Consequences be damned.
493
00:17:50,711 --> 00:17:52,811
Will someone please
tell me what's going on?
494
00:17:52,846 --> 00:17:55,848
Sheldon, you can't stay here.
495
00:17:55,882 --> 00:17:57,751
Why?
You've outgrown us.
496
00:17:57,784 --> 00:18:00,119
Me, literally.
497
00:18:00,153 --> 00:18:02,222
You deserve the best
education possible.
498
00:18:02,256 --> 00:18:04,857
You're going to do
great things, Sheldon.
499
00:18:06,058 --> 00:18:08,161
And we're proud to have been
500
00:18:08,193 --> 00:18:10,530
a small part of your journey.
501
00:18:11,665 --> 00:18:12,898
So, where should I go?
502
00:18:12,932 --> 00:18:14,367
Caltech.
MIT.
503
00:18:19,038 --> 00:18:22,276
Mom, Dad, I've made a decision.
504
00:18:24,109 --> 00:18:25,479
All right.
505
00:18:26,413 --> 00:18:29,015
I'm going to MIT.
506
00:18:29,048 --> 00:18:30,594
I know what you're thinking.
507
00:18:30,617 --> 00:18:32,353
Wait for it.
508
00:18:33,185 --> 00:18:34,622
I'm so excited to visit MIT.
509
00:18:34,654 --> 00:18:36,390
Me, too.
510
00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:39,492
Proud of you, son.
511
00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:40,826
Thank you, Dad.
512
00:18:46,165 --> 00:18:47,401
Caltech?
513
00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:49,035
Caltech.
514
00:18:50,036 --> 00:18:51,404
Told you.
515
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:55,411
I don't know
what to tell you, Linda.
516
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:56,912
We begged him to stay.
517
00:18:56,944 --> 00:18:58,012
I got down on my knees,
518
00:18:58,046 --> 00:19:00,215
and, well, John
was already there.
519
00:19:00,249 --> 00:19:03,553
We did everything
we could to keep him.
520
00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:07,356
I wore a cowboy hat and
offered a scholarship to a baby.
521
00:19:07,390 --> 00:19:09,625
Ooh. You win.
522
00:19:09,659 --> 00:19:10,959
Damn straight.
523
00:19:10,991 --> 00:19:12,394
I'd like to propose a toast.
524
00:19:12,428 --> 00:19:16,766
To our complete and utter
525
00:19:16,798 --> 00:19:18,099
lack of integrity.
526
00:19:18,133 --> 00:19:19,335
Hear, hear.
Hear, hear.
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