Original subtitles

Thank you for fixing my sink, George.

No problem.

I guess your fancy lawyer boyfriend

isn't good with his hands, huh?

Just his feet from chasing those ambulances.

Josu�'s hands are good for other things.

Rosie La Reina de mi coraz�n,

I should take you to court for theft

because you take my breath away.

Aw.

Well, I plead insanity because I'm crazy about you.

Mm.

I'm about to re-clog this sink

right here�

Good to see you, too, George.

I'll see you this evening, mi amor.

I'll be thinking of you every second.

But don't tell my clients

because I will be billing them for that time.

Well, then, let me give you something

to really think about.

OK.

That man is obsessed with me.

I don't see why you have to kiss him in front of me.

I think it's totes inappropes.

Someone seems threatened.

I just don't understand what you see in him.

Rosie, the raisin in mi chicharr�n.

Ay, George.

I love that we can laugh together again, huh?

I've missed this.

- I missed it, too. - Mm.

And I've missed you.

You have?

Yes.

There's something�

I've been meaning to tell you.

Is this really happening?

What the�

You were dreaming about raisins and chicharr�n again.

Don't you ever dream about women?

? ?

Chance has big news.

I got into the�

He got into the gifted program!

Really?

I thought it meant I was gonna get extra gifts

on my birthday. but apparently,

the only gift is my beautiful mind.

His test scores show that he has a genius-level IQ.

Aw, we're so proud of you, Gordo.

I'm gonna go to tell Churro.

That dog wins one game of chess

and thinks she's better than me.

Ooh, I cannot wait to rub this in the face

of Lucy's stuck-up parents.

Justin thinks he's so smart

just because he put a dog on Mars.

Honey, it was a rover, not a dog named Rover.

You sound just like him.

His surgeon wife Erica's even worse.

Always showing up to school events in her scrubs.

I just saved a baby.

Yeah, well, I saved $12

with my Ralph's club card,

but you don't hear me bragging about it.

Well, it looks like their kid got in the program, too,

so we'll be seeing them at orientation tomorrow.

Good, 'cause then we can show them

where Chance gets his genius from.

Me.

What do you two tontos yapping about?

Chance inherited my genius.

No, he inherited my genius.

If that kid's inherited anybody's genius,

it's from me.

I'm Alberto Einstein.

I'm an inventor.

What have you invented?

I duct-taped the DVR and TV remotes together.

And thus, the universal remote was born.

As the saying goes,

necessity sleeps with invention's mother.

? ?

Coffee in the afternoon?

Did you miss your mid-morning BM?

You know what? Hop up.

I'll knead it out of you.

No.

I just had a bad night.

Since I got sober, I've been having these crazy dreams.

I used to have dreams.

But this is my life now.

No, I had dreams about�

nonsense, nobody you know.

Oh, so they're about someone.

But who?

I'm here.

Hello, Rosie.

Hello, Rosie?

You never hello me.

Why are you being so weird?

I'm not being weird. You're the one that's weird.

Why is your face all red

and your forehead is all sweaty?

Puberty. Heard of it?

Mayan!

I think your dad's on drugs again!

That's who you've been dreaming about.

You're crushing on Rosie.

You love her. You wanna kiss her.

You wanna dry hump her.

Shut up!

Gotta stop having these Rosie dreams.

You know, there's something that I do every night

to clear my mind before I fall asleep.

It releases everything

and makes me feel happy and relaxed.

Aw, man, I don't wanna hear about that.

I'm talking about journaling, bro.

Ew, I don't wanna hear about that either.

Ugh.

Ooh-hoo-hoo. Playing with magnets?

I used to stick these on my braces.

Look, I'm a walrus.

Actually, it's a level five

spatial acuity puzzle for my gifted class.

Oh.

Well, it's a good thing you got

the third-place winner of the Bismarck Elementary

Academic Decathlon here to help you out.

Go Water Buffaloes! Hey?

You have to make the fish swim in the opposite direction

by only moving three magnets.

Boomshakalaka!

No! You moved four pieces instead of three.

Step aside for the puzzle master.

? Who's the smartest in the room? ?

? Mayan, Mayan ?

Ta-da.

All you did was filet the fish.

It's so easy. Watch.

? Who's smarter than Mom and Dad? ?

? Chance is ?

? Chance is ?

Done!

-How did you� -This is sorcery.

You guys didn't go to college, did you?

OK.

I went for a semester.

That seems irrelevant.

It's OK, parents.

You guys may not be smart, but you're sweet.

And that goes a long way.

Does our genius child think we're dumb?

The better question is�

are we dumb?

No, you can be intelligent without being book-smart.

There's street-smart,

PetSmart, Smart & Final�

holy crap, living with my dad

has given us a false sense of intelligence!

Oh, my God.

To Chance, we're George.

As someone who grew up embarrassed by their dad,

I don't wanna embarrass Chance at his gifted orientation.

All those other parents went to fancy colleges.

How are we gonna keep up?

They're gonna expect us to have opinions

on the issues plaguing America.

And�and the only opinions we have

are on the issues plaguing the cast of "Vanderpump Rules."

And we're two episodes behind.

? ?

Time for work. I booked us a night move.

I worked all day, and now I have to work all night?

Hey, man. I need to stay up so I don't dream.

I have to go one night, at least,

without seeing Rosie and Josu�.

If you're robbing the truck,

I have pepper spray and a boyfriend who works out!

Oh, it's just tonto one and tonto two.

Well, you guys dodged a bullet.

And two very big guns.

We were leaving Mayan's, and we saw the light.

What's going on?

Night move.

It turns out that there's a lot of people who prefer to move

under the cover of darkness.

Well, I mean, if you're working

with lowlifes and criminals,

obviously, please give them my card.

Oscar's exhausted.

You can't make him work a double shift.

I'll go with you.

What? Me, you, alone,

at night?

Yes, we, together, go.

What is wrong with you?

No�nothing. God.

Might I suggest driving in a lane

that doesn't have a bike painted on it?

Yeah, that's good, keep annoying me

and reminding me why I don't like you.

Let's just listen to the radio.

? Working on a night move ?

? Trying to make some front page ?

- This song� - Wow.

Brings back memories.

Driving around in your grandpa's El Camino.

Oh well, he called it El Tibur�n, the shark.

'Cause it had to keep moving or it would die.

Yeah, I didn't care where we were going

as long as I was going with you.

That's how we ended up in Long Beach.

We had to drive onto the sand to get the car to stop.

Oh, that's right!

How do you remember that?

Ah, yeah.

That's where we made some night moves of our own.

We sure did.

? We were just young and restless and bored ?

? Living by the sword ?

? Working on our night moves ?

? Trying to lose the awkward teenage blues ?

? Working on our night moves ?

? Ooh, it was summertime ?

? Ooh, ooh ?

? ?

George, look out!

What happened?

You fell asleep.

And hit another car. Are you OK?

Yes.

Good.

Now what the hell is wrong with you?

It's not my fault. It's his fault!

? ?

What are you doing?

Get out. Don't look at me!

I see you're taking care of your needs by journaling.

I feel so ashamed.

I do it all the time.

Sometimes, in that very chair.

After the accident,

I figured I needed something to help me deal with my feelings.

But after all this journaling,

all it's done is remind me of how much Rosie means to me.

Are you sure you really have feelings for Rosie?

Or are you just jealous of Josu�?

Why would I be jealous of stupid Josu�?

Because of his perfect body?

His perfect hair,

his perfect mouth filled with his own teeth?

Rosie is a great woman who I lost because of my drinking.

And now that I'm sober�

I'm just thinking, maybe it could be different.

For what it's worth,

I think you're a bigger catch than Josu�.

- Really? - No.

But you can still try.

You literally have nothing to lose, man.

? ?

Here's Chance's desk.

If we don't want these nerdy parents to know

that we're the dumbest people in the room,

we've got to keep our mouths shut

and practice active listening.

What's that?

You nod your head, and you make yummy noises.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mm.

Oh, here comes Justin.

G'day, mates.

Enjoy it while you can

before the solar storm affects our magnetic fields.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mm.

Sorry I'm late.

I was in surgery� brain surgery.

On a baby.

I just saved a baby.

"Hello, parents.

"As the only child in here with social skills,

"I have been selected to welcome you.

"Tonight, you'll be the students,

"because we're gonna turn the tables,

"or should I say, desks.

"Hold for laughs.

"In front of you, you'll find a bag of supplies.

Use them to make a star."

Excuse me. Is this optional?

No.

You have five minutes.

Don't embarrass me.

OK, we have Popsicle sticks�

- Mm-hmm. - Pipe cleaner, paper cup�

ah, I was really hoping there would be a whole star in here.

Are you chewing gum in class?

No.

Ugh.

Finished!

At light speed.

But not literally, because that would be impossible.

Oh, my God, there's only three minutes left,

and we've got nothing!

We didn't know which star they wanted us to make,

so we made two.

Polaris and Delta Velorum.

The only stars I can name are on "Dancing With The."

? ?

OK, George, let's practice this again.

You have to remember that when you're in traffic court,

it is very important for you to remain calm.

Mr. Lopez, did you or did you not

fall asleep behind the wheel of your truck?

Who's Mr. Lopez? I'm Agent Cody Banks.

I think we should just stop rehearsing his testimony

and start discussing how he's going to survive jail.

Thank you for trying to help this burro.

Of course.

I'm my own burro, thank you.

Burro supreme.

OK, we'll work on this tomorrow.

I got to go prep a client who had a slip and fall.

Onto a woman that wasn't his wife.

Josu� can spin anything,

including me on the dance floor.

Ah.

I can dance, too. Let me cut in with that.

Ay!

That wasn't very nice.

What's he gonna do, sue me?

Oh�

You're all over the place lately.

I'm worried.

Just been having trouble sleeping.

Why?

What's going on with you?

Oh there's been something on my mind,

something that I need to, um�

I need to tell you.

There's something I need to tell you, too.

Let me go first.

No, no, I wanna go first.

You always went first. It's my turn.

George, when you came back into our lives,

I didn't know what to expect.

But�

you've come to mean a lot to me.

- I have? - Yes.

And that's why I really want you to get along with Josu�.

Oh.

I haven't felt this way

for another man since�

well�

You.

I think he's gonna stick around for a while.

Maybe forever.

I didn't realize you were so serious about him.

- I am. - Mm.

Hmm.

Now, what did you have to tell me?

Uh�

well, since, you know, I've been sober,

I've been thinking clearer.

And, um, I�

I just�

I wanna say to you that I, um,

I'm happy for you.

Oh, George.

You must really be sleep-deprived.

Time's almost up.

We just have to attach these last two pieces,

and we will have a star.

"There's been a change of plans.

"In school, as in life,

"problems can arise when you least expect it.

"So now instead of a star, you have to make a sailboat.

You have one minute. Go."

What? You can't change the rules.

We created half a galaxy over here.

Hey, hey, we already have a sail.

We can use this cup as the boat.

The pencil is the mast.

How do we attach the sail?

I have an idea.

Oh.

? Whoa was dumb but now has gum? ?

? Mayan and Quinten ?

Finished! Ha-ha.

Time!

The only ones with the sailboat are Chance's parents.

I'm as surprised as you are.

In your face, Erica and Justin.

This isn't fair.

You told us to make a star.

Sorry.

Boats rule, stars drool.

"In the real world, problems are messy

"and don't have just one solution.

That's why we have to learn to be adaptable."

Yeah, instead of making a Mars Rover,

you ought to make a Mars sailboat.

The rules are the rules.

When your mother tells you to go to Johns Hopkins,

you go to Johns Hopkins!

"We hope you had a good time tonight.

See you at the cookie table."

Can you believe how they just acted?

I guess this Johnny Hopkins guy

doesn't teach you how to keep your cool.

Nope.

Hey.

It doesn't matter that we didn't go to college,

because we're adaptable.

We had a kid at 17, changed our careers,

and made a bomb-ass sailboat.

Damn right, we're adaptable.

So I guess Chance got his smarts from both of us.

Yeah, well, we're not that smart.

We just stood here patting each other on the back,

and now all the cookies are gone.

I stole all the cookies. Meet me in the car.

Now that, he got from his grandpa.

The Lopez way!

? ?

Afternoon coffee again.

You either missed another BM,

or you didn't tell Rosie how you feel.

I realized that if I told Rosie how I felt,

I'd run the risk of hurting her again.

She's happy now.

She deserves that.

So if I can't be with her in real life,

at least I can be with her in my dreams.

That's really mature of you.

And great news because now we can be together.

Kiss me, Georgie.

Kiss me!

Back to the circus, bearded lady!

At least you're finally dreaming about women.

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