All language subtitles for Everybody.Loves.Raymond.S03E12.The.Toaster.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BS-ing

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:04,169 - Read this again. 2 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,772 - Come on, ray. Honey, it's a great present. 3 00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,407 What you wrote on it is perfect, 4 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,109 And you can't change it now anyway 5 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,377 Because it's christmas eve. 6 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:15,614 - Once more. 7 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,083 - "merry christmas. We love you. 8 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:22,121 Michael, geoffrey, ally, debra, and ray." 9 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,288 - It's stupid. 10 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,190 - Oh, honey, no, no. 11 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,493 Everybody's going to love this present, okay? 12 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,795 Accept it. You had a great idea. 13 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:32,765 - Why'd I put "xmas"? 14 00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:36,168 You know, I don't like "xmas." 15 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,137 I-I xed out the name of the birthday boy. 16 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,305 - Ray, stop. 17 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,374 Stop obsessing, okay? I love it. 18 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:46,245 My god, it's been two months of toaster. 19 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:50,449 - Hey, this is going out with my name on it. 20 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,251 Did you wrap the one for your parents? 21 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,318 - Yes. Yes. 22 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,720 - Which wrapping? 23 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,056 - The foil. 24 00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,724 - No! 25 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,659 That tips off the gift. 26 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,161 - What? 27 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:05,230 - Foil wrapping. It's a metal toaster. 28 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:09,568 Oh, why didn't you just wrap it in toast? 29 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,437 Look, if I'm gonna drive all the way up to connecticut 30 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,439 To spend christmas day with your parents, 31 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,308 I-I want a good reaction when they open the present. 32 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:20,279 - And the foil wrapping kills that? 33 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:23,582 - I don't know. 34 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,250 You think--you think this toaster thing 35 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:28,153 Is funky enough for them? 36 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:32,558 - Was it supposed to be funky? 37 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,827 - For them, I mean-- 38 00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:37,396 They're the hip people. 39 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:41,700 - Oh, honey, come on, you're hip. 40 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:42,868 Yes! 41 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:47,539 Yes, this is a very hip, funky, 42 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:50,542 Badass toaster. 43 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,178 - All right, okay. 44 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,713 Very nice. Yeah, make fun of me. 45 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,682 - No, I'm not. 46 00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,617 - Yeah, your parents and you, you put up with me-- 47 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,452 - No. Nobody feels that way. 48 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,154 - I'm a doofus, okay? 49 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,355 I-I admit it. 50 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,490 Come on, who am I kidding? 51 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,225 Look at me. 52 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:09,394 I'm a goofy doofus with a foofy toaster. 53 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,729 - What? 54 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,431 - Look, I-it's fine, all right? 55 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,399 I'm not blaming anyone. 56 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,802 What, I don't know that you could have married better? 57 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,706 I don't know. I don't know. 58 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:23,175 Merry christmas, honey. Good night. 59 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:33,318 Oh, god, look at the size of my nose. 60 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,565 And as the welsh say, "a-hee-da." 61 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:47,599 - Hey. 62 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:48,867 - "broughsom fealtcha!" 63 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,572 I just made that up. 64 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,807 - Well, come on, ray, let's give 'em our present. 65 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,176 - No. You know what? 66 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,210 They'll open it when we leave. 67 00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,411 - Oh, stop it. 68 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,679 No. Here it is, right here. Okay? 69 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,813 Raymond picked it out, 70 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,448 And he did everything. 71 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,851 - Oh, well, I love the wrapping. 72 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,653 - Debra did that. 73 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,889 - Hey, a toaster. 74 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,628 Look, hon, a toaster. 75 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,565 - Oh. How nice. 76 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,368 - You've got to open the box, okay? 77 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,937 Yeah, just go ahead there. 78 00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,371 What are you doing? 79 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,273 - Hating myself. 80 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:33,445 - Oh. Oh, look, warren. 81 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,681 - "merry christmas. We love you. 82 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,984 Michael, geoffrey, ally, debra, and ray." 83 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:42,754 - Ooh! This is fantastic! 84 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,289 - You see? You love it, right? 85 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,758 - What a wild idea. Who thought of this? 86 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,759 - Ray. 87 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,429 - No. Well, I-- 88 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,231 Yeah, yeah. 89 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,633 - Oh, raymond. 90 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,735 Look at that engraving. 91 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,438 - Love the chrome. 92 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,941 Super. Just super. 93 00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,244 - Ohh, thank you. 94 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,912 Thank you, thank you, thank you, ray. 95 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,848 Ohh. 96 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,351 It is so retro chic. 97 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,888 - You're making fun of me, right? 98 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,424 - No, no! 99 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,427 This should be on display. 100 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,766 - Home run. You see? 101 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,268 - Look who's here. 102 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,836 - Ho, ho, ho. 103 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,338 - Hey, robert. So glad you made it. 104 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:34,706 - What's up? I thought you weren't gonna come. 105 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,542 I was doing some skiing with a friend. 106 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,745 Here she comes. - Hi. 107 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:40,946 Merry christmas. 108 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,448 - Leeann, everyone. Everyone, leeann. 109 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,716 - Hi. - Welcome. 110 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:49,688 Come in. Let me take your coat. 111 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:53,425 - What is your life now? 112 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:57,596 - I don't know. Better? 113 00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,830 Hey, by the way, 114 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,832 That toaster you gave me was great, raymond. 115 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:01,967 Yeah, I gotta hand it to ya. 116 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,602 All the names engraved-- 117 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,504 - Yeah? Thanks. Thanks, man. 118 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,006 - Oh, that was so sweet. 119 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,942 All my brother gave me was some cheap bath salts. 120 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:15,414 - Well, I just wanted to express myself in a, uh, 121 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,482 Retro chic way. 122 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,888 - Whole family got one? - Yeah. 123 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,557 Yeah. And a couple of friends, too. 124 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,958 - Well, they're all gonna love it. 125 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,760 listen, uh, 126 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,962 What did mom and dad say about the toaster? 127 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,732 I only got 'em a soft toilet seat. 128 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,502 I guess I'm gonna have to now, I don't know, 129 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,371 Write a poem on it or something. 130 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,406 yeah. Yeah. 131 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:44,009 - No, but, uh, really, the reason why I came by 132 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,878 Was to, uh, say thank you. 133 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,380 It was sweet and thoughtful. 134 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:49,648 - Yeah, all right. - I mean it. 135 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,516 - Well, thanks. 136 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,718 - Merry christmas, raymond. 137 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,722 - Oh--yeah, yeah, yeah. 138 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,724 Thank you, man. Thanks, robert. 139 00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,991 You too. 140 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,694 - Oh, see? You did it. 141 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,763 The perfect present, everybody loves it. 142 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,431 Oh, boy. 143 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:09,868 Really feels like christmas, doesn't it? 144 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,671 - What? 145 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,507 - Well, why didn't mom and dad call about the toaster? 146 00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:20,712 - Hey, ray, broughsom fealtcha! 147 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:31,857 - Hey, ray, guess what. 148 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,558 Three more messages on the machine. 149 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,960 Gail, andy, linda, 150 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:37,028 All love the toaster. 151 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,865 - Yeah, well, still nothing from my parents. 152 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,601 You know, I gave it to them on the 23rd. 153 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,735 It's the 26th, 154 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,771 And they haven't called or stopped by. 155 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,172 - Hmm. 156 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,507 You know what that's called? 157 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,775 - What? 158 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,943 - A merry christmas! 159 00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:00,819 - I don't get it. 160 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,588 You--you give 'em a present, you think-- 161 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,791 - Hi! - Hi! 162 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,993 Time to take down the tree. 163 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,164 - Hey, ma? - Yeah? 164 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,565 - How was your christmas? 165 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,434 - Oh, it was marvelous. 166 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,003 The teslas came over, and we sang songs. 167 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,872 And we even had some amaretto. 168 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,774 You should have seen your father. 169 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,576 He was wonderful. 170 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,452 - Okay, okay. 171 00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,086 You're mad because we spent christmas day 172 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,555 At her parents' house. 173 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,123 - Of course not, dear. 174 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,692 I know we trade off. 175 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,627 I did wish you were there, though. 176 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:47,098 Your father danced with the trash can. 177 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,135 - Yeah. Mr. Wonderful. 178 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,204 - Oh, he had the time of his life. 179 00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,905 Oh, he needs some aspirin. May I? 180 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,707 - Yeah, sure. - Good. 181 00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:02,013 - So, ma, you get some, uh, some nice things this year? 182 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,982 - Oh, yes, dear. Lovely. 183 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,751 Can't complain. 184 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:09,154 - All right, did you get my gift? 185 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,689 - Oh, yes, dear. 186 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,756 Very nice. 187 00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:14,059 You know-- 188 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:18,497 I heard that you met robbie's skiing date. 189 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:21,099 - Mm-hmm. - Did you like her? 190 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,872 - I'm talking to dad. 191 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:31,977 - I liked her. 192 00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:34,546 She gave me some lovely bath salts. 193 00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:46,024 - Hey, dad. - Aspirin. 194 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,726 - Yeah. It's coming. Listen-- 195 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,161 - Bad christmas. 196 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:54,032 I danced with your mother. 197 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,235 - She said it was the trash can. 198 00:08:57,237 --> 00:09:00,038 - I traded up to the trash can. 199 00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:03,975 - All right, listen, 200 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,877 Did you guys open my present? 201 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,546 - What? 202 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,114 Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 203 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:12,951 Uh, very nice. Thank you. 204 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:13,952 - That's it? 205 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,220 Did you see what it was? 206 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,689 - What? Yeah. 207 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,591 It was a toaster. 208 00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,793 - Did you open the box? 209 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,161 - Yeah. 210 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,797 - You saw what it said? What--what did it say? 211 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,566 - I don't know. 212 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:31,703 "toast-pro." who cares? 213 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:35,106 - It was special. It's a special thing. 214 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,841 You--you didn't open the box. 215 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,276 You gotta open up the box, dad. 216 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,278 Come on, where is it? 217 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,990 Don't have it with me right now. 218 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:58,029 - What do you mean? Where is it? 219 00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:01,666 What did you do with it? 220 00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:04,269 - Your mother wanted a coffee maker. 221 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:13,078 - Here we go. 222 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,348 - What did you do? 223 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,949 Where's my toaster? 224 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,351 What did you do? 225 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:20,919 - Nothing, dear. 226 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,153 When we saw it was a toaster, 227 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,622 We took it over to bloomingdale's 228 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,925 And traded it in for the coffee machine. 229 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,727 - What? But I-- 230 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:32,197 It--it didn't even come from bloomingdale's. 231 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,834 - They don't know that. 232 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,036 - So you--so you lied to bloomingdale's? 233 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,805 - Not mr. Bloomingdale-- 234 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,308 Just the store. 235 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:46,011 - When did you do this? 236 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,679 - Well, the day you gave it to us. 237 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,114 I hate returning things after christmas. 238 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,348 It's so crowded. 239 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,650 Coffee, dear? 240 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,285 - No, no! I don't want coffee. 241 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,656 - It's very good. 242 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,958 - That wasn't just a toaster, ma. 243 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,327 It said "merry christmas. We love you. 244 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,997 Michael geoffrey, ally, debra, and ray." 245 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,000 - It spoke? 246 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,674 - No! On it! 247 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,309 On the side--I had it engraved on the side. 248 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:21,379 - Engraved? - What did you do that for? 249 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,348 - I don't know. 250 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,749 I thought it would be nice. 251 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,851 I thought you might enjoy it, 252 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:30,188 You psychopaths. 253 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:35,093 - Was my name on there? 254 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,361 - I can't believe this. 255 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,797 You know how much time and-- and thought-- 256 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,031 - Sweetie, sweetie-- - no! It-- 257 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,070 All right, listen, honey, listen. 258 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,371 I-I understand. 259 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,173 I completely understand why you're upset, 260 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,075 But let me explain something. 261 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,711 You see, this coffee machine 262 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,479 Has the coffee already made 263 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,482 When you come down in the morning. 264 00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:08,226 - The toaster has your son's name-- 265 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,895 And the names of his family, 266 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,464 Your grandchildren, 267 00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:15,400 And their love on it. 268 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,271 - I'm sorry, dear. 269 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,173 Well, you know what? 270 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:25,910 Maybe we could put the names on the coffee machine. 271 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,218 - What are you buying a toaster for, anyway? 272 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:34,319 Ours is still good. 273 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,320 - No, it's not! 274 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:38,823 - It is. It is, dear. 275 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,792 You just don't know how to use it, see. 276 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,527 You got to rattle it a little bit, 277 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,928 And then you pull the toast up 278 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:44,963 And turn it around 279 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,297 And then do it on the other side. 280 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,768 - It's not about the toast, ma! 281 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,370 My gift, it had meaning! 282 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,205 Everyone else loves the toaster. 283 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,008 Everyone else. Everyone! 284 00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:02,180 Who are you people? 285 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,489 You know what? 286 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:12,524 Any time I've ever given you a present, 287 00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:13,925 It's never been any good. 288 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,394 - That's not true-- - no? The microwave. 289 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:19,831 - Well, that. 290 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:22,367 Well, we--we didn't need a microwave. 291 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,035 - And they're dangerous. 292 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,838 What if I wanted to have more children? 293 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:38,416 - If god hasn't stopped you, the government will. 294 00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,188 What about the fruit of the month club? 295 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,056 - Oh, that was insane. 296 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:48,359 A year of fruit? 297 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:49,861 Do you know, they still send me fliers 298 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,496 Wanting me to rejoin? 299 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,265 A-and pictures of apricots? 300 00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:57,569 How's that supposed to make me feel? 301 00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:59,437 - Oh, how-- how you feel. 302 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:02,140 How about how I feel, huh? You ever think of that? 303 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,142 - Well, honey, 304 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:08,379 We're the ones who have to get these presents. 305 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:14,552 I'm--I'm sorry. 306 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,088 I don't know what else to say. 307 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,959 - How about "thank...You."? 308 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,093 Yeah. 309 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:25,864 Thank you. That's what people say. 310 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,166 I don't care if you need a toaster. 311 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,901 I don't care if you think it's a waste of money. 312 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,569 You take the gift and you say thank you! 313 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,404 And you know why? Because it's from me! 314 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:37,208 Me, me, raymond, your idiot son raymond. 315 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,583 - How could they not like the toaster? 316 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,218 - They didn't even open it. 317 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,220 They traded it in. 318 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,291 Ungrateful mental cases. 319 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,929 - You know, maybe the question here isn't 320 00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,230 "why don't they ever like my presents?" 321 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,932 But rather, 322 00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:05,336 "why do I so desperately need their approval?" 323 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:09,474 - Ah... - Oh, shut up. 324 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,576 Shut up. How would you feel? 325 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,645 - How would I feel? 326 00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,480 Maybe you'd like to read my book, 327 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:19,150 The robert barone story." 328 00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,354 He doesn't need their approval, sis. 329 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,522 He's got it to a fault. 330 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:25,924 He's the beloved one. 331 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,559 - Oh, they love me, they care about me. 332 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,929 How come they don't care that they hurt my feelings, huh? 333 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,263 That's right. 334 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,132 You don't see 'em doing anything about that. 335 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,304 - You let me do the talking. 336 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,471 - Just tell the truth. 337 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,940 - No, no, no. 338 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,208 Where are you from? 339 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,410 We walk out of here 340 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,045 With the toaster and the coffee thing. 341 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,379 - What? 342 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,581 Just get raymond's toaster. - Next in line, please. 343 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,351 - Just don't say-- 344 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:55,486 - Lock it up, marie! 345 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,622 Hello. 346 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,291 And a merry christmas to you. 347 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:04,395 May our lord and savior bestow many blessings 348 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,731 Upon you and your loved ones. 349 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:11,002 - Thank you. I'm jewish. 350 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,470 - Oh. 351 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,440 Uh, all these people must be a pain in the ass, huh? 352 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,308 - Frank, don't say that. 353 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,077 - Let me do it my way. 354 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,311 - Are you returning this? 355 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,413 - Uh, yes, we are. 356 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,516 It unfortunately is a piece of crap. 357 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,218 - Oh, no. It's very nice. 358 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,319 We just would like something else. 359 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,587 - No! 360 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:30,655 - Was there something wrong with it? 361 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:34,659 - Uh, we didn't even open it. 362 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,062 This is how you help? 363 00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:40,264 - Lying was your idea. 364 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:43,434 - And why are we lying today? 365 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:46,037 - My son bought us this coffee maker, 366 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,338 And he means well, 367 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,107 But we would like to exchange it for something 368 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,475 We can really use. 369 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:53,211 You know, like a-- I don't know-- 370 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:56,447 A--a toaster or something. 371 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,715 - That's fine. 372 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,217 You can pick out a toaster over there. 373 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,419 - Oh, thank you very much. 374 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,421 Shalom. 375 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,290 - We coulda got both! 376 00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,525 - Ooh, look, toast-pro. 377 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,560 Look, uh, open these boxes. 378 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,029 - All right, all right-- 379 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,331 - Just look for raymond's toaster. 380 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,600 - I'm sorry. 381 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,402 May I help you? 382 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,203 - We can handle it, jeeves. 383 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,772 - Hello. 384 00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:23,508 We're just, uh, checking these. 385 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,675 - Well, I can assure you, they're all 386 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:27,111 Exactly like the display model. 387 00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,813 - Well, see, here's one 388 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,681 Where the pamphlet's a little folded. 389 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,783 - What are you doing? 390 00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:33,484 That's not a believable complaint. 391 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,353 - It's perfectly valid. 392 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,056 - Can't you ever just be quiet? 393 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,058 - Don't you tell me to be quiet. 394 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,793 I have a mind of my own, you know. 395 00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,161 I can contribute. 396 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,830 I'm not just some trophy wife. 397 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:03,581 - You're a trophy wife? 398 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,751 What contest in hell did I win? 399 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:12,223 - Please, you've opened every box. 400 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,591 I'm going to have to ask you to make-- 401 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,793 - This can't be every toaster. 402 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,329 - No. Well, I'm sure there are more in the stockroom. 403 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,831 - Stockroom. Distract the workers. 404 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:23,367 - What? - Just keep yappin'. 405 00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:27,638 - See, my husband is very particular about his toast. 406 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,222 Holy crap. 407 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:54,332 - I got this toaster from my son for christmas yesterday, 408 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,534 But it has some writing on it. 409 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,203 - Ooh, are you exchanging that toaster? 410 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,139 - Oh, no, I wouldn't dream of exchanging it. 411 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,541 I got it from my son. 412 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,377 What sort of mother would I be? 413 00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:17,455 - Well, I would exchange it 414 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,457 Because look at all that stupid writing on it. 415 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,825 - Oh, but, I love it. 416 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,361 The store just got the names wrong. 417 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,697 Could you change the names to, uh, 418 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:32,703 June, harvey, bobby-- 419 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:35,506 - You see, this toaster's from my raymond. 420 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,741 Look. Look here. 421 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:37,909 Wait. Look, I'll show you. 422 00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,577 Here. Here he is. Look. See. 423 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:43,848 And there's michael and--and geoffrey and ally 424 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,583 And I don't have a picture of debra. 425 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,619 Look, just give me that toaster, please. 426 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,654 - No. It's my son's. 427 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:50,922 - Oh, but it's my son. 428 00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:52,857 He needs me to have a toaster! 429 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,858 - Security! 430 00:19:56,895 --> 00:20:00,364 - Stupid, stinkin' hump! 431 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,200 - Hey! 432 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,302 - Oh, try a coffee machine. 433 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,744 - Who was that? 434 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:17,782 - Uh, ray, I think you better get down to bloomingdale's. 435 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,987 apparently your parents 436 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,822 Are involved in some sort of disturbance 437 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,391 Involving destruction of property 438 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:31,395 And the possible theft of a toaster. 439 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:41,405 - They do care. 29624

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