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1
00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:05,671
- Don't read at the table.
2
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,139
- Hey, I'm reading that!
3
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,707
I didn't finish that!
- No.
4
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,345
- And stop playing
with your hair.
5
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,382
You're going
to make it fall out.
6
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,083
- You can stop worrying
about my hair,
7
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,752
'cause I'm gonna shave
the rest of it off.
8
00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:21,420
- What?
9
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,755
- That's right.
I'm shaving my head today.
10
00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:24,423
- Oh, that's asinine.
11
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:28,260
- It's not asinine.
It's hip.
12
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:30,596
- Hey.
We're out of milk.
13
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:32,097
- Help yourself.
14
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,532
You want
to hear the latest?
15
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,267
Your father wants
to shave his head.
16
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,370
- Why don't you just
stick your head
17
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,571
Out of the car window?
18
00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:45,611
- Where's my razor?
19
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,346
- Oh, sit down!
20
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,415
We do not shave
our heads in this house.
21
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,584
- It's my house and my head!
22
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,753
- I'm not gonna be seen
with you like that.
23
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:58,290
- Another advantage!
24
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,259
- I'm hiding
all the razors.
25
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,695
- You're not going
to shave your head.
26
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,798
- Of course not.
27
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,233
I just want
to read the paper.
28
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:23,115
- Hey.
29
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,217
- So did you read my thing?
30
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,385
- The article?
Yeah.
31
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:27,619
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:30,622
Give me a second.
- Okay.
33
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,460
Pretty good
for a first try, huh?
34
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,629
Did you see the point
I was trying to make?
35
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,765
- Do you see the coffee
I'm trying to make?
36
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:40,866
All right, go.
37
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:41,867
I'll be right there.
Go.
38
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:44,670
- Okay.
All right.
39
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:52,344
Hi.
40
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,713
All right.
So how are you?
41
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,548
How's everybody?
Glad to hear it--
42
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:59,551
What do you think?
43
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,657
- Okay.
44
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,726
Ahh.
45
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,294
- Ah ha-ha!
You're drinking it now.
46
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,529
Very funny!
47
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,364
You are hilarious!
48
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,534
What a funny friend I have!
49
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:18,170
Talk to me!
50
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,272
- I like it.
51
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,907
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:25,177
I just--I have
some minor, minor things.
53
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:26,512
- Oh, god.
54
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:30,249
I'm going to be a stat guy
for the rest of my life.
55
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,217
- Stop it, all right?
It's very good.
56
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,653
- Don't say that!
57
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,156
What do you think
"very good" means?
58
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:40,792
- Very bad!
59
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,361
- Do you want my notes
or not?
60
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,229
- Yes!
- All right.
61
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:45,731
- Oh, my god!
62
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,233
Look at all the red marks!
63
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,269
This is a mob hit!
64
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,937
Andy, if you weren't
my friend,
65
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:54,273
I'd say, "it's great,"
and just walk away.
66
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:57,910
- Yes!
Do that!
67
00:02:57,912 --> 00:03:00,579
- Listen, listen.
68
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,515
What separates the men
from the boys
69
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,417
Is the willingness
to take notes,
70
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,920
Rewrite,
and make it better.
71
00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:09,521
Okay?
72
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:13,759
I'm giving you the key
to the mint here.
73
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:17,396
- All right.
74
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:18,397
Go ahead.
I can take it.
75
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,598
I want it.
76
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,568
Give me the key
to the mint.
77
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,802
- All right, look.
78
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,705
Right here, you get
a little repetitive.
79
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,240
- Oh, oh.
80
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:29,708
I get it, I get it,
I get it, I get it, I get it.
81
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,310
Thanks.
82
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:32,978
- Okay, now, here...
83
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:33,979
- There's more?
84
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,948
- Yeah.
85
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:38,417
- Can we take a break?
86
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,585
- I'm just getting started.
87
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:40,719
Don't you want
to hear this?
88
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,522
- I just--
I just need a moment.
89
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,262
- Andy?
90
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:53,265
- I said a moment!
91
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,738
- Hey, deb,
where's my toothbrush?
92
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,906
- Oh, I threw
the old ones out.
93
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,307
I got a bunch of new ones
94
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:04,309
When I took the kids
to the dentist today.
95
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:04,943
- So which one's mine?
96
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,746
- The red.
97
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:11,683
- I don't want to be red.
98
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,686
- Take the blue one.
99
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:18,690
- The blue one is--
is wet.
100
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,325
- I just used it.
101
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:24,463
- Ew!
102
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:26,331
- You know, ray,
I use the soap in there too.
103
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:29,268
- Not my soap.
104
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:34,006
I have no toiletries.
105
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,807
- Oh, would you please?
All right?
106
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,509
I already had
to deal with three maniac kids
107
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,744
At the dentist today.
108
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,912
By the end of it,
I needed the novocain.
109
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,015
I couldn't believe
geoffrey.
110
00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:44,983
- Yeah, well,
I had a bad day too, okay?
111
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,452
I had to talk to andy
about his article.
112
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,989
- Oh, well,
that must have been awful.
113
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:54,026
Sitting and talking
with an adult.
114
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:55,761
Jeez.
You should have seen it.
115
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:56,962
Michael gets
into the chair--
116
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,563
- It was awful, okay?
117
00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,898
You know how andy
wants to be a writer,
118
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,900
So I got to help him.
119
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,569
- Ray, I'm trying
to tell you something here.
120
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,705
- Okay, but, you know,
I read his stuff,
121
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,774
And then I got
to think about it,
122
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:12,678
And then I got to make notes
on his stupid thing.
123
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,981
- Maybe it was your attitude.
124
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,684
- What attitude?
125
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,520
- "his stupid thing"?
126
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,789
Did you call his article
a stupid thing?
127
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:24,823
- Not to him.
128
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,591
To him, I said
it was very good.
129
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:30,562
- Oh, god.
- What?
130
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,930
- "very good," hmm?
131
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,398
Yeah, I know what
"very good" means.
132
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,436
What did you say
about my stir-fry last night?
133
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,371
- That was very good.
134
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,405
Mm-mm, good.
135
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,808
- Yeah.
136
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,476
Nice try.
137
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,378
I'm just saying it probably
meant a lot to andy
138
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,380
To get your feedback,
and, you know,
139
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,349
Maybe you could have been
a little bit nicer.
140
00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:53,485
- Hey, you weren't there, okay?
I was very nice.
141
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:56,621
I tried to give him
the key to the mint.
142
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:59,057
- The key to the mint?
143
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,693
Oh, you didn't say that,
did you?
144
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,395
- It's an expression.
145
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:08,834
- Oh, and you are the keeper
of the key to the mint?
146
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:13,572
- No, I-I...
147
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,841
I happen
to have one of the keys.
148
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,910
Listen, I was very nice.
149
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:19,978
- Oh, is that
the tone you used?
150
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:20,979
- There was no tone.
151
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,714
- That's tone right there.
152
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,752
- Yes, with you, I'm having tone
right now, okay?
153
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:27,953
But with andy,
I was very nice.
154
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,722
I was very understanding,
very patient.
155
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,925
And then he embarrasses me
by crying.
156
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,128
- You made him cry?
157
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,629
Ray!
158
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,431
- He wasn't crying crying.
159
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:42,801
He was just kind of
breathing hard and shuddering.
160
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,169
Oh, it was--
161
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,405
Everybody
was looking at us.
162
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,806
- Oh, I'm so sorry
163
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:52,611
You had to sit next
to your crying friend.
164
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,947
- Listen, it's a lot harder
to watch the person in pain
165
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,918
Than it is to be
the person in pain.
166
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:03,455
- You said that to me
when I was in labor.
167
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:10,862
- You were screaming.
168
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:14,099
I'm surprised
you heard that.
169
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,107
- Poor andy.
170
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,543
Why do you think
he gave you his article?
171
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:27,679
- Because I'm a sucker.
172
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,582
- Because he looks up to you
and respects you,
173
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,151
And whatever you say to him,
he's going to listen to.
174
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:36,788
- Yeah, he didn't listen
when I told him to stop crying.
175
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,825
- Listen, you know,
you're very successful
176
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,226
And he's
just starting out.
177
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,061
And you really have to try
to go out of your way
178
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:46,531
To be very encouraging
to him and kind.
179
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:47,966
Listen, you got
to understand
180
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,769
That other people
have feelings too.
181
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,173
- All right!
182
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,549
- Now can I finish telling you
what happened to me today?
183
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,750
- What happened
to you today?
184
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,052
- At the dentist!
185
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,587
- Oh, yeah.
186
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,721
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go.
187
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:10,989
- Michael gets in the chair,
188
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,257
And the other two
want to get in first,
189
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,992
So that's when
the fighting starts.
190
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,594
So dr. Gibbons gets up
and tries to turn on
191
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:16,962
The choo-choo train.
192
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,864
That's when geoffrey
kicks him
193
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:22,200
The kids and dr. Gibbons,
the hygienist--
194
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,201
- Oh, no.
195
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,803
- That's right.
196
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:28,907
I have a dentist
appointment next week.
197
00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:35,614
- What?
198
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,617
I listened.
199
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,888
- Hey.
200
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,890
- Hey, I want to talk
to you about the article.
201
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,858
- Oh, yeah.
Listen, listen.
202
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,994
Listen, last week
when I gave you the notes,
203
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,662
I think maybe
I wasn't really thinking
204
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,664
About your feelings
or whatever.
205
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,099
- No.
206
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,134
No, no.
207
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,770
I wanted to thank you.
I didn't take it very well.
208
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,071
- No, no, no.
You were fine.
209
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,307
And your article's
really good.
210
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,242
And I wanted to tell you
that you should stick with it
211
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:07,112
And, you know, I'll help you
however I can.
212
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:09,047
- Well, here's the good news.
You don't have to.
213
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,017
"sports illustrated"
bought it!
214
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:18,256
- What?
215
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:19,858
- I sent it over there
and they bought it!
216
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:20,859
They're going
to print it!
217
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,694
Can you believe it?
Ha-ha!
218
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,630
Yeah!
219
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:30,635
- Wow.
220
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,003
So I guess--
221
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,939
I mean, debra thought
that I wasn't being encouraging,
222
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:36,942
But I guess--I guess
whatever I did kind of helped.
223
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:38,310
- Yes, yes.
224
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:41,646
In a way, yes.
225
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:42,981
- What do you mean?
226
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:47,686
- Well, I didn't exactly
take your notes.
227
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,888
I mean, I went home,
and I thought about it,
228
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,122
And I decided I liked
the way I had it,
229
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,091
And I sent it.
230
00:09:56,964 --> 00:10:00,098
oh.
231
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,234
How about that?
Imagine that, man.
232
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,071
- But thanks anyway.
Your notes were very good.
233
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:21,086
Here's your mail.
234
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,622
- Very nice.
Very nice.
235
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:24,956
Very nice.
236
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,125
- Here's your
"sports illustrated."
237
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,660
- Very nice.
238
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:33,098
- Wait a minute.
What was that?
239
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,867
- Oh, uh,
I don't like it anymore.
240
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:42,741
- So you're giving up
reading altogether?
241
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:45,410
- I still have cereal boxes,
242
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:49,080
Unless count chocula
suddenly lowers his standards.
243
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,284
- Do you want to tell me
what's going on here?
244
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,420
"sports illustrated"
used to be good.
245
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:59,157
Now it's bad.
246
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,661
They have no credibility,
no taste.
247
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,329
- Oh, ray,
248
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,132
Did "sports illustrated"
reject you again?
249
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,803
- No.
250
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,271
As a matter of fact, I'm proud
of those rejections now,
251
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:18,209
'cause that rag
is amateur-ville, jack.
252
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,111
They're publishing
andy's thing.
253
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,247
- Oh, that's great!
254
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:26,251
no, it's not!
255
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,420
- But, ray,
you should be happy--
256
00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:31,222
Oh, my gosh--
'cause you helped him.
257
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:40,165
Oh, oh, oh.
258
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:43,802
He didn't take
your notes, did he?
259
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,341
Ray?
260
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,278
How did he get into the mint
without your key?
261
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:01,753
- He knows the janitor.
262
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:06,991
- You can't even enjoy
his success.
263
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,461
- I'm enjoying it, okay?
264
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,863
It's just that
when that piece of crap
265
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,364
Comes out
in "sports illustrated,"
266
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,499
Andy's going
to be impossible.
267
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,201
- Ha.
268
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,502
'cause he might think
he's a real writer?
269
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,937
- Yeah.
270
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,338
- And he might get
full of himself?
271
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,773
- Right.
272
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:26,511
- And he might think
he's as good as you?
273
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,780
- You don't understand.
- I understand.
274
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,316
Today was all about andy
and it wasn't about you.
275
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,817
- No, no, no, no.
276
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:33,985
- Yeah.
Come on, admit it.
277
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,354
You're a little
self-centered.
278
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:39,224
- Self-centered?
279
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,992
- Yeah.
280
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,361
All you can see is how
this news affects you.
281
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,929
And can I tell you
something?
282
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,931
This isn't just with andy.
283
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:51,136
- Where is this coming from?
284
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,539
- It's coming from those of us
orbiting around you.
285
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:01,513
- You think
I'm self-centered?
286
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:04,883
Me? Me? Me?
287
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,888
You know, I work hard.
288
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:12,824
I try to make enough money
to feed this family.
289
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,059
I have to put up with friends
who ask my advice
290
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:16,261
And then ignore
what I tell them.
291
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,796
- Daddy.
292
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:18,997
- Then I put up with traffic.
293
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,198
Then I have to come home...
294
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,399
- Daddy!
295
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,568
- And explain myself
to a wife
296
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,936
Who thinks I'm
this self-centered guy...
297
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:25,937
- Daddy!
298
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:26,938
- Which makes me think that--
299
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,541
I hear her!
300
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,478
What is it, honey?
301
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,180
- I have a thousand pennies.
302
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:42,887
- Did you see that daddy
was talking, sweetie?
303
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:49,861
And I would love to see
those pennies later, okay?
304
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,863
Give me a kiss.
305
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:56,034
Huh?
306
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:08,246
- No reading.
307
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,953
- Hey, hey.
What are you doing there?
308
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,222
- I'm cutting
an english muffin.
309
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,390
- You don't cut it.
You use a fork.
310
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,593
- You don't use a fork
to cut things.
311
00:14:21,595 --> 00:14:23,228
- Not to cut.
To split.
312
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,929
- What?
313
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,331
- Yeah, it says it
right on the wrapper there.
314
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,399
Look at it--
"fork split."
315
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,603
Fork.
With a fork.
316
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:34,639
- All that means is,
they've split it with a fork
317
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,074
At the factory.
318
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,375
- If they split it
at the factory,
319
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,476
It would be open already,
320
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:41,279
And I wouldn't have
to talk to you.
321
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,114
- Do you want this or not?
322
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,249
- Not now.
323
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,550
Look what you've done
with your knife.
324
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,252
Not only have you
killed the crannies,
325
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:50,955
You smushed them
into the nooks.
326
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:54,325
- I'm going to smush you
into a nook.
327
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:55,660
- Hey.
328
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,595
- Oh, hi, dear.
You want an english muffin?
329
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,030
- Don't do it.
It's cut!
330
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:02,133
- Oh, stop.
331
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,336
Raymond, when they say
on the box "fork split,"
332
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,338
Doesn't that mean they've
started it for you already,
333
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,941
You know, like,
in the factory with a fork?
334
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:18,316
- Do you have any
unopened toothbrushes?
335
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,651
- Of course.
You need a toothbrush?
336
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:22,387
- A blue medium, right?
- Right.
337
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:23,988
- Robbie!
338
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:26,024
- Ma, robbie moved out.
339
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,458
- What, ma?
340
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,295
- He still has to do laundry.
341
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,196
- Robbie,
go into the cabinet
342
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:35,133
And take out a new,
blue medium toothbrush
343
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,301
For your brother.
344
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:37,702
- The blue mediums are mine.
345
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,270
I'm taking 'em with me.
346
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,105
- Robbie!
347
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,541
I said get a blue medium
toothbrush for your brother
348
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,410
And bring it down right now.
349
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,212
- All right!
350
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,350
- I am not eating that.
351
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:55,153
- Eat that damn muffin.
352
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,425
- Hey, am I catching you
at a bad time here?
353
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,227
- No, dear.
We're just having breakfast.
354
00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:10,368
- Here you go.
355
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:15,173
- That's yellow.
356
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,041
- Oh.
357
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,276
- Ma.
358
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:21,079
- I said a blue toothbrush,
robbie.
359
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,514
- Why does it
have to be blue?
360
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,117
- 'cause that's
what I wanted.
361
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:29,220
- What about what
somebody else wants?
362
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:32,190
Do you ever think
about anyone else?
363
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:37,595
- Have you been talking
to debra about me?
364
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,665
- No, I've been talking
to debra about andy.
365
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,736
I hear he got into
"sports illustrated."
366
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,571
- Wow.
That's national.
367
00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:49,173
- Oh, yes, it is, daddy.
368
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,509
And correct me
if I'm wrong, raymond,
369
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:55,079
But hasn't that been
a lifelong dream of yours,
370
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,615
To get into
"sports illustrated"?
371
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:03,054
How's it feel?
372
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,789
- Listen, I'm happy
for andy, okay?
373
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,424
I'm not self-centered.
374
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,295
What? What?
What are you laughing at?
375
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,597
- Not self-centered?
376
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,032
Hey, I love you like a son,
377
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:18,136
But you always were
a pig for attention.
378
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:22,407
- Yeah, even as a baby,
you would cry and cry and cry.
379
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,745
"look at me.
I got colic!"
380
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,116
- Yeah, yeah.
381
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:33,651
Or how about every time
you walk in the door,
382
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,286
You know, there's always
a reason.
383
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,755
"I got married.
I got kids.
384
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:41,359
I got to have
a blue medium toothbrush."
385
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,794
- You--you're wrong.
386
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:46,631
- Yeah, when do you ever
come over just to say hello?
387
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:49,133
- The hello is implied.
388
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:50,701
Mom, am I self-centered?
389
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,370
- Of course you are, dear.
390
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,472
- Aha!
391
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,774
- But you have
every right to be.
392
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,409
You're very special.
393
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,212
- Here we go.
All aboard!
394
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,583
- You are handsome.
You're charming.
395
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,218
You're successful.
396
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,320
You're a marvelous father
397
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,522
And a beautiful son.
398
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,826
- And you wonder how you
turned out self-centered.
399
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,794
- You're the one
who's self-centered.
400
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,496
I slave over those muffins,
401
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,364
And you don't even have
the decency to eat it
402
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,266
Because they're not
sliced right.
403
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,301
- How about you?
404
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,804
I got to eat my muffin
your way!
405
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:30,608
- No, you go upstairs and get
your brother a blue toothbrush.
406
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,310
They're not all for you.
407
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,845
- Oh, what are you saying?
I'm self-centered now?
408
00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:35,113
- You?
- Oh!
409
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,481
- Definitely!
410
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,117
"I can't buy clothes
where normal people buy clothes.
411
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,685
"I need my own apartment.
412
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:44,322
Everyone shoots at me!"
413
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,157
- You're the one
that's self-centered.
414
00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:52,663
- Thank you.
Hey, I understand now.
415
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,865
I can live with yellow.
416
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,703
The good-bye is implied!
417
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:11,616
- Hey, "sports illustrated,"
huh?
418
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:14,352
- Nah, forget about
"sports illustrated."
419
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,321
They rewrote
my whole article.
420
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,157
- The whole thing?
421
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,591
- The whole thing.
422
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,161
So they must have
liked something.
423
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,497
- Apparently they liked
that it was about sports.
424
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,166
They just didn't like
the words I picked
425
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,368
Or the order
I put them in.
426
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,870
- Man, that stinks.
427
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,639
But you know what?
Well, who needs them, right?
428
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,207
Look, you did a good job,
429
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,376
And you should keep at it,
and I'm here for you.
430
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,510
- Thanks, ray.
- Yeah.
431
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,811
- I should have listened
to you.
432
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,713
A lot of what those guys
had problems with
433
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,715
Was exactly what
you had problems with.
434
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:48,686
- Yeah--
oh, yeah?
435
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,855
The "sports illustrated"
guys, yeah?
436
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,758
They had the same problems?
437
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,427
Yeah.
What did you do?
438
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,362
Did you mention
that I gave you the notes?
439
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,431
- I might have.
440
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,366
- Yeah.
They know who I am, right?
441
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,702
I mean, do they know
who I am?
442
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,237
- Maybe.
I don't know.
443
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,973
- What did they say, though,
when you mentioned me?
444
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,276
- I'm not sure, ray.
I was kind of crying.
445
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:15,213
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
446
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,848
You weren't crying when
you mentioned me, were you?
447
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,971
- What the hell happened here?
448
00:20:39,973 --> 00:20:42,773
- Fork split.
30786
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