All language subtitles for Everybody.Loves.Raymond.S03E05.The.Visit.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BS-ing

- Hey, noodle.

- Hey, look at them.

Don't they look adorable?

Oh, our little sailors.

Oh, god, my mother
is going to love it.

- Yeah? Why?

Is she a hooker?
- Oh.

And I want you
to make her comfortable.

- I'm not rubbing
her feet.

- How 'bout just
calling her by her name?

Huh?

- Okay, I'll rub
her feet then.

- Come on, you know,
you never say her name.

It's always, "hey--
you there."

Just call--call her lois.

- No, I-I can't call her
by her name.

She's a mother.

She outranks me.

- Then call her mom.

- No, no.
- Oh, ray,

She would love that.

Come on.

- No, that wouldn't
feel right.

"hi, how was your trip,
mom?"

Mom.
Mom.

- Hi.

- Wow, that--
that is powerful.

Let me try something.

Xena, warrior princess.
Xena, warrior princess.

- So, mom,
did you like the park?

Was that great?

- Yes, it was
a delight,

Except for all
the screaming.

- Well, you know,
kids are going to do that, so--

- I meant raymond.

- There was a bee.

- Okay, kids.

Come on, bring your hands
over here, guys.

Come on, let's wash off
all the slushies, okay?

Great.
Okay.

- I think I'll go
freshen up myself.

- What does she got
to go wash off for?

She sat on the bench all day
with a crossword puzzle.

- Well, ray, she likes
to keep her mind sharp.

- Yeah, well, if it was
my mom at the park--

- What are you saying?

- Nothing.

Just that my mom
might be better

In certain circumstances

Than someone else's mom.

- Uh, excuse me.

I couldn't find
any guest towels.

- That's okay,
just use whatever's there.

- Well, you wouldn't

Want me using
someone else's towel.

- It's okay, mom.
We don't mind. Come on.

- Oh.

All righty then.

And--and what time
is dinner, dear?

- Dinner, that's going to be,
like, in an hour,

So I'm going to make
some lemon chicken.

You want to help me?

- Oh, what good
would I be?

You're the cook
in the family.

- Wow.

- Would you mind
if I took a little siesta?

- Oh, no, of course not.
Go ahead, mom.

- What, what?

- This is all your fault.

- What?

- She is taking a nap

Because she doesn't feel like
a part of this family

Because you haven't said
two words to her all day!

- That's not true.
I did, I did.

I even--
I said "lois."

I called her lois.
You didn't hear me?

- Oh, oh, yeah,
yeah, I heard it.

That was real natural.

You sounded
like jerry lewis.

"lo-ho-ho-isss."

- Yeah, well, I told you,
you shouldn't force me to do it.

- And by the way,
how many times have I said

We need more guest towels
around here?

- Oh, I know
what's going on here.

You care way too much
about what your mother thinks.

Hey, take some advice
from me, okay?

You got to cut
the apron strings.

- Okay, everybody, dinner.

Let's all sit down
to dinner together.

Mom, you're right here.

Okay?
- Oh, I can't wait.

It smells wonderful.

- That's me.
I burped.

- Okay, great.
Well, that's--

- Thanks.
Um--

Oh, mom, can you
just help geoffrey there?

- Oh, of course.
With what?

- Uh, never mind. I'll--

- I got it.
I'll get it, I'll get it.

- I'm sorry, dear.
- That's okay.

It's okay.

Mm.

How's that water?
Is that good?

That's good water, right?

- Water?

- Mm.

- Yes, it's fine.

- Ray.

- Well,
it's new york water.

She's from--
she's from connecticut.

Well, they don't get
the new york water there.

- I'll tell you where they have
the most delightful water.

We were hiking
in switzerland,

And just as we
reached the jungfrau,

We saw this lovely stream.

They call a "wasserfluss."

- I'm out.

- Oh, my.

- Grandma!

- I don't believe it.

I told them not
to come over tonight.

- Well, why would
you do that?

- Because it's
your first night here, mom,

And I wanted it
to be just us.

- Well, I hope you didn't
offend them, debra.

- No, they don't really get
offended in the human sense.

- Hi, everybody.

Grandma's got cake.

- Ma, what the hell
you doing in the window?

- Well, we didn't want
to interrupt your dinner.

- Yeah, then you'd better
get in the time machine.

- Start cutting, marie.

- No, frank, not yet.

They're still eating...
Something.

- The deal was I buckle up,
follow you over,

Say hello
to the woman--

Hello, lois...
- Frank.

- And you start cutting,
so start cutting.

- Smelled the cake.

And I saw the pan in the sink
and didn't see any cake

And figured it was on its way
over to raymond's.

- Hello, robert.

- Hello...There.

- How about a little slice?
- No, no.

- No. We are not
eating cake, all right?

We are eating dinner,
not cake.

Cake is not dinner,
all right?

I made dinner for my mother,
not cake, so no cake.

- I'll get it.

Just remind me
where we were.

- Well, I didn't think
if I helped with dessert,

It would be a problem.

- It's not a problem,
marie.

It's a lovely cake.

- Which we are not having
until after dinner, mom.

- I could go
for a little dinner.

- I didn't eat yet.

- All right, there's
some chicken in the kitchen,

So just go in the kitchen.

- Uh, it's for you.

You.

Uh--

He says
it's the great white hunter.

- Oh!

That warren.

Hi, dear.

How's zimbabwe?

- Zimbabwe?

- He says
he's on safari.

- That's a lot of crap,
safari.

That's just an excuse to see
topless native broads.

- Are they really topless?

- No,
they just pop 'em out

To get
into national geographic.

- Yes, it--
it's fine.

Lovely.

Well, it's not
really a vacation.

Debra seems
awfully stressed out.

- What's the matter?
What are you doing?

- Perhaps I should go
to the hotel.

- Hotel?

- See, now why can't

I have that kind
of relationship with my mom?

- I can't believe my mom
wants to stay at a hotel.

- You know, there are kids
in other countries

Who can't afford
to send their mothers to hotels.

- Give my regards
to the gazelles.

Ciao.

- So how's he doing?

- Wonderfully.

He's bringing me back
a zulu death mask.

- Hmm, wow,
that's great.

He probably gets a deal
on 'em over there, you know.

No state tax.

yes.

- How come you want
to go to a hotel?

- Lemon chicken.
Let's eat it.

Let's wash it down
with a little wasserfluss.

- Heard you tell dad
you wanted to stay at a hotel.

- Oh, well, it's just
that there's a lot

Going on around here,

And perhaps it would
be easier for you

If I weren't in the way.

- You're not
in the way, mom.

- It was just a notion.

No need to get upset.

Come on,
this is my vacation.

- I'd change travel agents.

- Okay, geoffrey,
here it is,

All cut up like you like,
sweetheart.

- Marie, you don't have
to do all that.

- Oh, michael, you need
to be up higher.

Let's see.

- Oh,
that's going to spill.

- Mom, could you
just get the--

- Oh, yes, uh--

- No, it's okay,
I got it.

I got it, here,
there you go.

All right, here you go,
sweetheart.

Let me put this
behind you.

- That lois gives me
the willies.

Rolls, marie.

- So, um, mom.

Listen, I was thinking that
maybe tomorrow

We could go look
at fabric together

'cause I wanted to make
some new drapes for our bedroom.

- Well, actually,
I was hoping to get

Into the city tomorrow
to see the renoir exhibit.

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that'd be great.

I just don't think
the renoir exhibit

Is something we could
actually take all the kids to.

- No, you go.

I'll take care
of the kids.

They love their grandma.

- Stay down.

- Well, if it's going
to be a problem, debra,

I could go to the museum
by myself.

- God, mom.

- Well, could you be interested
in just one thing

We're doing around here,
maybe?

what are you saying?

I'm very interested.

- Well, you sure
don't show it.

lemon chicken, very pretty

And the lemon chicken
is sweet

- I mean, you act like
you don't care about me

Or what's going on
with the kids.

You haven't asked ray
one question about his job.

- but the chicken
of the poor lemon

Is impossible to eat

- Stop it, ray.

Those aren't the words.

I'm trying to talk
to my mother, okay?

- Well, perhaps we should
talk about this later.

This really isn't
the time, debra.

- Oh, that's right.
This is your vacation.

Then you got
to take a siesta,

Then you're going to run off
to see renoir.

- Well, I'm sorry, debra.

I just don't know
what you want from me.

- Oh, here, honey,
let me get that for you.

- You know what I want?

I want you to be
a part of the family.

I want you to help,
or I want you

To at least want to help.

Okay?

I want you to be
more like--

Like her!

- Like who?

- Like mom.

- Why?

- Hey.

The zulu death mask.

And I was so excited
about her coming to visit.

You know, I had this big,
wild fantasy.

"oh, my mother's coming,
and it's going to be so nice."

- Yeah, well,
welcome to the club.

- What club?

- The "your mother
comes over,

And it's not so nice" club.

And I'm not just a member,
I'm also the president.

- Debra?

- Ow, ow, ow, nails!

- Oh, debra.

- Oh, marie.

- Ow, ow, ow, ow!

- I love you
so very much.

- Let go.
Let go!

- Ray?

I'll call you.

- What you said just now,
I have to admit,

It came
as quite a shock.

- To me too.

- I mean, to stand there
in front of everyone

And tell them
that you wished your own mother

Was more like me,

That I'm the mother
you wish you had--

That is what you were
trying to say, wasn't it?

- Well, I maybe--

- I mean,
after all these years,

To find out what you--

What you really think
of me--

You know, you were
a little rude, dear.

- What?

- Well, you can't talk
to your mother like that.

No matter what she's done,
she's still your mother.

- Yeah, but I just wanted her
to be a part of the family.

It's been one day,
and already she's--

- She's not
doing anything.

- No, that's right.

She's not doing anything,
nothing, not a thing.

- What do you
want her to do?

- I don't know.

Just help me,
help the kids.

Get involved.

I mean, you know,
she should know.

She's a mother.

- Yes, dear,
but she's not mother-ish.

She's a nice lady,
but she's not mother-ish.

She is not the kind
of mother we are.

- We?

- See,
I like to think

That whatever it is
you didn't get from her,

Whatever it is
you learned

About what it
really means to be a mother,

That maybe you
got that from me.

It's funny,
isn't it?

How life gives you
what you need.

- You got to love life.

- So he's in africa, huh?

I saw this thing
on the discovery channel once

Where there were tribes
that communicated like--

Yeah.

I didn't see
the whole special.

I just saw
a little bit of it.

- Okay,
we're out of here.

- Yeah, everyone's
distracted with the fight.

We got the cake.

- Good-bye...There.

- Gentle.

- Strange lady.

- Mom,
can I talk to you?

- You all right, dear?

- I'm fine, yeah.
Listen, mom--

- Debra wants to say
something to you.

I-I'm sorry
I snapped at you.

- Oh, honey.
- I just--

- You don't have
to apologize to me.

I'm the one
that's sorry.

I know I'm not good
at certain things.

- No, no, 'cause you're right,
this is your vacation.

- No, I mean, I-I've never been
good at those things.

You know, when you
were growing up--

- No, mom,
you did other things.

We always spent a lot
of time together.

You know, you took me to museums
and the theater,

And we traveled,

And you opened up
the whole world to me.

You know?

- And that's important.

- Marie,
would you mind?

- What, dear?

- A little privacy.

- Debra.
- Please?

- Why don't I just
go clean?

Also important.

- You know, debra,

I'm glad I'm not staying
at a hotel.

Because being here
with you,

It's giving me
a chance to see

What a great mom
you are.

- Really?

- Really.

- Well, thank you.

- And you--

You like the cleaning
and the cooking

And the running around
after the kids, huh?

- You know,
I-I guess I do.

- I don't know
where you get it from.

- Hey, leave a message.

- Hello,
everything's fine now.

You can bring the cake
back over.

Frank, pick up.

Robert?

Raymond?

Are you eating
that cake?

You better not have started
that cake.

That cake
is for all of us!

Frank?

I'm coming over.

- Save yourself.

Hi, ma.

It was raymond;
I tried to stop him.