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1
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:04,470
- Oh, big mistake.
2
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,438
He's going
into the alley.
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,142
My boys should be
coming right...Now.
4
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,710
- What? Oh, you seen
this one already.
5
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,479
- No, no, that's the way
you do it, see?
6
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,481
First of all,
you set up a perimeter, right?
7
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,316
You close off
all the avenues of escape.
8
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:19,485
It's like
catching a mouse.
9
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:22,654
- Hey, I've seen you
with a mouse.
10
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:24,723
Remember this?
11
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:28,694
Aah!
12
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:36,168
- Remember me beatin'
the crap outta you?
13
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,141
Ah, they got
the bracelets on him.
14
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:43,442
He ain't goin'
nowhere.
15
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,676
- Of course he's not
going anywhere.
16
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,678
The show's call "cops."
it's fixed.
17
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,281
You never see the bad guy
getting away.
18
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,517
- Let 'em get
their own show.
19
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:54,319
You see the way
they ran that punk down?
20
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,155
- You ever run like that?
21
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,423
- I've been known to.
22
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,590
- Yeah, when do you run?
23
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,060
- When I have to.
- Yeah.
24
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:04,496
Last time you ran was when
the wind took your balloon.
25
00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:15,841
- What are you saying,
raymond?
26
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,476
- Nothing. Nothing.
27
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,812
- You don't think
I do this?
28
00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:22,147
- Come on, this is show biz.
29
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:25,684
This is three months of filming
cut down to half an hour.
30
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,753
What?
31
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:32,491
- Want to go on
a ride-along?
32
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:33,659
- What?
33
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,227
- A citizen's ride-along.
34
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,230
Come on, big shot.
35
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,100
Spend a shift in the back
of my patrol car.
36
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,135
- What and drive around
with you?
37
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,636
- Mm-hmm.
That's right.
38
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,639
Put your ass
where your mouth is.
39
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,444
- Why would I want to--
40
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,379
- You know
what I mean.
41
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,183
What's the matter,
you scared?
42
00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,685
- I'm not--I'm not scared.
I'll go anytime.
43
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:00,786
- How about tonight?
44
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,287
- I can't go tonight.
45
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,555
- Yeah, that's
'cause you're scared.
46
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:04,723
- All right, go ahead.
47
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,593
I'll go.
You set it up, and I'll go.
48
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,795
- All right, fine,
I'll check with my partner,
49
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:10,863
And we'll
get you a vest.
50
00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:14,733
- What do you mean,
a vest?
51
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:18,370
- Bullet...Proof...Vest.
52
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,442
- Okay, fine.
53
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,210
Fine. Go ahead.
54
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,312
Go right ahead.
55
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,680
I'll just--I'll check
with my partner.
56
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:29,815
Hey, deb.
57
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,283
Robert wants me
to go with him
58
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,418
On his patrol tonight,
you know, and...
59
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:36,388
Sit in the car
where all the action is
60
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,391
And wear a bulletproof
vest, okay?
61
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,926
- Sure. Have fun.
62
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,898
bum-ba-da-dun
63
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:00,913
- Frank,
what are you doing?
64
00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:02,414
Close
the refrigerator.
65
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,882
Put that on a plate.
66
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,517
- I don't want a plate.
67
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,819
I just want
a couple of bites.
68
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,589
- That's disgusting,
69
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,224
Sticking your fork
in there.
70
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:13,759
Now nobody else
can eat it.
71
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,295
- That's all it takes?
72
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,530
This fork
was in the ice cream too.
73
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,501
- Oh, hi, dear.
74
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:23,902
You hungry?
75
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,837
I'm sorry, I can't
offer you lasagna or ice cream.
76
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,839
- Or chocolate cake.
77
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:34,613
- He's like an animal
marking his territory.
78
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,815
Hey!
79
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:40,252
- Come on,
that was a compliment.
80
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,322
- God, I wish this was
the wrong house.
81
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,329
Where's robert?
82
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,697
- He's going to work
in a few minutes.
83
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,465
- Yeah, I know. I know.
I'm going with him.
84
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,766
- What?
- Yeah, yeah.
85
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,736
- Robert, you're taking
raymond to work with you?
86
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,272
- Yeah, on a citizen
ride-along.
87
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,474
- No one discussed this
with me.
88
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,442
You're not going.
89
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,477
- Aw--
- aw, ray.
90
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,846
Your mommy
won't let you go.
91
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,915
- Ma, I'm an adult,
okay?
92
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,516
I don't need
a permission slip.
93
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,518
- Oh, you do have
to sign this release form.
94
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,422
The department can't guarantee
your protection.
95
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,458
- I thought you were
my protection.
96
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,261
- No, he's not--robbie,
give me that.
97
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,829
Oh, frank,
do something!
98
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,398
Robert's putting
raymond in danger.
99
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,401
- Danger?
You want to know danger?
100
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,503
- Here we go.
101
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,372
- Try korea.
102
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:36,041
They were firing at us
with kalashnikov rifles.
103
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,677
Those things snap off
30 rounds a second.
104
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,779
What are you two
gonna be doing,
105
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:44,349
Sitting in a squad car
with a thermos full of cocoa?
106
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:46,885
- Actually, no.
107
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,389
That increases
the frequency of urination.
108
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,891
- I--I don't like
any of this.
109
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,293
- Come on, let's go,
raymond.
110
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,527
- Oh, raymond, don't.
111
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,828
- Ma, I'm going.
I'm going.
112
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,664
- Oh, don't.
113
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,300
All right then,
why only raymond?
114
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:02,701
Take debra
and the kids too.
115
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,505
That way I'll lose
my whole family in one night.
116
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,073
At least take him!
117
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,317
- 2-3, sergeant.
118
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,985
- 2-3,
sergeant.
119
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,486
- You get that 10-10?
120
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,788
- I copy.
121
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,589
- Sergeant?
They call you sergeant?
122
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,825
- That's his rank.
Sit back.
123
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,896
- Sergeant.
124
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,431
Do they know
you lick your q-tips
125
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,633
Before you stick 'em
in your ears?
126
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,535
- Raymond.
127
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,337
- I copy the 10-10.
128
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,772
Open warehouse door,
checked out okay.
129
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,973
- Open door, yeah.
130
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,842
Nobody even broke in.
131
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:46,745
Good thing
I'm wearing the vest.
132
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,413
It could've been drafty.
133
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,617
- We better drive by
later.
134
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,753
If it's open again,
we'll call in a k-9 car
135
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:57,356
And, uh, send in
the bow-wow.
136
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,391
That's a police dog.
137
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:03,028
- Oh, bow-wow's
a police dog.
138
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,898
Hmm, how do you
crack that code?
139
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,633
- That ain't funny.
140
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,602
And you don't talk
while we're on the radio.
141
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,570
Now sit back!
142
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,674
- I told you, raymond:
143
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,377
It's important that you not
interfere with police business.
144
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,644
- Well, what police business?
145
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,780
We've been driving around
for 3 hours.
146
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,850
I saw more action
on my paper route.
147
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,485
- All right!
148
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,453
- Hey, maybe later
we can climb a tree
149
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,490
And save a meow-meow.
150
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,526
- That's enough,
raymond.
151
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,660
- I'm starting to see
what you mean
152
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:36,828
About your little brother.
153
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:37,996
- Yeah, see what
I'm saying?
154
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,531
- What? What does he say?
155
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:43,435
- Sit back!
I'm not gonna tell you again!
156
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,738
- You just lost your tip.
157
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,675
There's nothing to do.
I'm bored back here.
158
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,577
At least run the siren
a little.
159
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,649
This vest
is a little smelly.
160
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,152
Hey, if you wash these
with regular clothes,
161
00:07:00,154 --> 00:07:03,588
Do they become
bulletproof?
162
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,557
Okay. Okay.
163
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:06,892
- 2-3, sergeant.
164
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,093
- 2-3,
sergeant.
165
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,495
- Got an emergency call,
patching it through.
166
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:11,463
- All right.
167
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,631
Emergency.
168
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,133
You wanted action?
Here we go.
169
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:18,470
- Robbie, how's raymond?
170
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:21,773
Is he okay?
I want to talk to raymond.
171
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,809
- Ma!
172
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:27,879
- Give me the usual.
173
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,915
I'm going
to the ladies' room.
174
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,516
- Why are we taking a break?
175
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,453
What are we
taking a break from?
176
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:37,122
- How about a break
from your mouth?
177
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:43,195
- She seems nice.
178
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,198
- Sit down, raymond.
179
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,167
Sit down.
180
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,735
I want to talk to you.
181
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,103
- All right,
182
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,605
But I have a right
to a ginger ale.
183
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:54,940
You know that?
184
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,942
- Just stop it, okay?
185
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,511
I'm sorry this is such
a slow night for you.
186
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:03,014
- No, no, no.
There was that open door.
187
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:07,819
- Enough, raymond. Okay?
188
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,922
A slow night for you
is a good night for me.
189
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:14,659
You have no idea
what this job entails.
190
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,028
And your attitude is an insult
to me, my partner,
191
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,130
And every other cop
on the force.
192
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,599
- Relax, robert.
193
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,033
I'm--I'm joking here,
that's all.
194
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,535
- Yeah, yeah, right, yeah.
195
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,870
They're
just little jokes, right?
196
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:25,871
I'm one big joke to you--
197
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,606
My height,
my little quirks,
198
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,841
The year I had an afro.
199
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,145
- Now, come on.
That was funny.
200
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:37,148
- It was the style
then, man.
201
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,951
- All right, come on, relax.
202
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,521
- You guys gonna order,
or can I grab a smoke?
203
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,122
- Come on.
What do you want to eat?
204
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,590
I'm buying.
- I'm not hungry.
205
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,892
- Come on.
I'll buy for judy too.
206
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,294
What does she eat,
little kids?
207
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,563
- You just can't stop,
can you?
208
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,833
- Look, when you're ready,
I'm out back.
209
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,134
- Robert.
210
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,269
- What?
211
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:59,871
- Over there.
212
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,974
- Hurry it up.
213
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,043
- Get down.
214
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,047
- Huh?
215
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,315
- Get down.
216
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,950
- Robert...
217
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,085
I left my vest
in the car.
218
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,590
- Now, whatever happens...
219
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,725
Stay down.
220
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,294
- No, no, no,
wait, wait, wait.
221
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:24,829
Call the police.
222
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,698
- Shh.
223
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,866
- Come on, let's go.
Hurry up, come on.
224
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,279
- Get your hands
behind your back.
225
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,314
- I didn't do
anything!
226
00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:43,615
- You didn't do
anything, huh?
227
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,116
- What'd I do?
228
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,619
- Is everybody okay?
Nemo, you all right?
229
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,721
- Yeah, yeah.
- How we doin', huh?
230
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,355
Wise guy.
231
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,289
- What happened here?
232
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,657
- Well,
we got a 10-30.
233
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,259
Better check
outside.
234
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,029
You all right, nemo?
- Yeah.
235
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,898
- No getaway car.
236
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,767
Got no friends?
237
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,035
- That's all right.
We'll give him a ride.
238
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,103
Get him outta here.
239
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,372
- I'll radio it in.
240
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,940
- Come on, ray.
You can ride up front.
241
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,282
Come on.
242
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,383
What are you looking at?
243
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,239
- Ray?
244
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,308
- Hmm.
245
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,643
- What time is it?
246
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,177
- Hmm.
247
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,089
- What are you doing?
248
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,758
Why are you lying
there like that?
249
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,893
Take your clothes off.
250
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,662
- Oh, I'm not in the mood.
251
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,365
- What are you
talking about?
252
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,167
Hey, how was
the ride-along?
253
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:12,704
- It was very boring.
254
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:15,407
Followed by a short period
of terrifying.
255
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,209
- What do you mean?
What happened?
256
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,180
- We went into nemo's
for a break,
257
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,982
And a guy came in
with a gun.
258
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:26,117
- My god!
What do you mean, a gun?
259
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,786
- A gun. A gun.
I mean a gun.
260
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,388
A thing they use
to rob things.
261
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,157
- What are you doing
with a gun?
262
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,258
- Nothing!
I didn't have the gun.
263
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,926
- I mean near a gun!
264
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,861
Who told you to go out
and be with guns?
265
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,197
- You did.
- I did not.
266
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,032
I said you could
ride in the back
267
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,767
Of robert's police car.
268
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,803
I never said you should
get out of the car.
269
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,271
- I'm okay, I'm okay.
270
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,807
- Jerk! You idiot!
271
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,275
- I'm okay. I'm okay!
272
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,342
- Stupid, how could you...?
273
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,445
- Ow!
274
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:55,914
I need my vest again.
275
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,883
- My god.
How did this--what happened?
276
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,020
- Nothing,
'cause robert stopped the guy,
277
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,722
And then we took him
to the station,
278
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,790
And then robert booked him
and printed him,
279
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,892
And then I told robert
I had to throw up,
280
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,428
And judy took me home.
281
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:11,429
- How is robert?
282
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,964
- He's fine.
283
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,933
He's--I've never
seen him like that.
284
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,868
He just took control.
He's...
285
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,169
You know,
it's like one minute
286
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,904
He's my brother
who eats like this,
287
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,907
And the next minute,
he's like this...Cop.
288
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,008
- Why? What did he do?
289
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,376
- I don't know.
290
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,345
It happened so fast.
I don't know exactly.
291
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:32,183
And my view was a little
obstructed by the...Table leg.
292
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,986
- Oh, were you scared?
293
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,254
- A little.
294
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,922
- Ohh...
295
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,758
- Yeah, b-but robert,
you know, was...
296
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,159
Was not.
297
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,494
- Well, you know,
that's his job.
298
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:45,463
- I know, I know,
but I couldn't do that.
299
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:48,066
I mean, what's the most
dangerous thing I do?
300
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,269
I let the kids jump on me
without wearing a cup.
301
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:59,110
Robert--
robert is--he's really--
302
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,845
He's--he's really...
303
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,947
- You're proud of him.
304
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,149
- Well...
305
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,152
He's like a...Hero.
306
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:10,221
You know,
and everybody's always
307
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,456
Making a big fuss
about what I do
308
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,491
Just 'cause
I have some column.
309
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:17,495
Robert's the one whose name
should be in the paper.
310
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,497
- Did you tell him that?
311
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,500
- You know what?
312
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,069
I'm gonna do better
than that.
313
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:26,204
- Who are you calling?
314
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,173
- Hold on.
315
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,874
Hey, max. Yeah, it's ray.
316
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:32,844
Listen, you didn't put the paper
to bed yet, did you?
317
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,513
Okay, great.
I got a great story.
318
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:38,850
I went with my brother
on this police ride-along.
319
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,485
Yeah, yeah, the big guy.
320
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,420
Yeah, the chin-toucher.
321
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,888
Yeah, listen,
322
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,857
Listen, you're not gonna
believe what happened.
323
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,061
- Honey,
what are you doing?
324
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:50,962
- I'm cutting
molly's hair.
325
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,597
- Oh, no, no, sweetie,
326
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,165
If you cut a doll's hair
it doesn't grow back.
327
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,333
Only people hair
grows back.
328
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,902
- Oh.
329
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,070
Geoffrey!
330
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,572
- No, no, sweetie,
sweetie, no.
331
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,207
That's okay.
Just cut the doll's hair.
332
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,275
Oh, here, see?
You missed a spot.
333
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:09,347
- Hey.
334
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,615
- Hey.
335
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,150
Is the article
in there?
336
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,252
- I can't...Find it.
337
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:17,922
Oh, no.
338
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,224
- What, they didn't
print it?
339
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,291
- Look at that.
340
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,860
- That's you.
341
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:22,961
- I know.
342
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,863
That's a picture
of me. Why?
343
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:28,533
- "newsday's own ray barone
survives pizza holdup."
344
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,635
I thought it was supposed
to be about robert.
345
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,971
- It was!
346
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,405
"sports columnist
ray barone,
347
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:38,309
Narrowly escaped gunplay
when an armed robber..."
348
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,446
Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah!
349
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,949
- Does it
mention him at all?
350
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,185
- "police apprehended
the suspect."
351
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,953
That--police.
They didn't mention him.
352
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:51,556
- He's police.
353
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,024
- Oh, no.
What did they do?
354
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,059
- Hey, maybe robert won't read
the paper today.
355
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:58,096
- He's robert.
He reads it every day.
356
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,397
He reads it.
357
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,032
He taps
his chin 12 times with it,
358
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,635
And he reads it again.
359
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,169
Aaggh!
360
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,410
- Hey, robert.
361
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:19,984
Oh, you read the paper.
362
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:22,320
- I only wish I didn't
have to read it again.
363
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:27,926
"newsday's
own ray barone..."
364
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:30,128
- Okay, okay, let me explain.
365
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,496
- Oh, no, no need.
366
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:34,098
- Listen, the reason
I called the paper--
367
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,400
- The reason,
raymond...
368
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,035
I think I know
the reason.
369
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,102
It's called
self-promotion.
370
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,271
- What? No.
371
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,506
- What's the matter,
raymond, huh?
372
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,141
Sports section
isn't enough anymore?
373
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,375
- Oh, come on--
374
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:47,545
- You have to be
all over the paper.
375
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:48,646
- Robert.
- Ga-ga-ga-ga.
376
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,248
Why don't you
hop on the subway,
377
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,183
Make the travel
section?
378
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,318
- All right, come on.
379
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,686
- How about
the food section?
380
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,154
"newsday's
own ray barone
381
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:59,290
Enjoys salami sandwich."
382
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,059
I'll tell you what.
383
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:02,427
I'll give you change
for a dollar.
384
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,262
You can make
the financial pages.
385
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:07,298
"ray barone converts
paper into coin."
386
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,635
- Are you through?
387
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,971
- Yes.
388
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,673
Unless you're gonna be
changing your clothes today.
389
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,275
Fashion pages!
390
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,411
- I get it!
I get it, robert.
391
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,214
- Why are people talking?
392
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,350
It's 8:00 in the morning.
393
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,553
No talking before 9:00.
394
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,488
- Oh, good, raymond.
You're back.
395
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,689
You hungry?
396
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,157
- No, no.
No, thanks, mom.
397
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,559
- So how was it?
398
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,027
- Here, you can
read about it in the paper.
399
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,161
- No, give me--
400
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,363
Come on, robert.
401
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:42,100
- Robert,
what is that?
402
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,335
"newsday's own
ray barone survives..."
403
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,137
Guns?
404
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,505
- Listen, listen,
the point was--
405
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,240
- What did you do
to your brother?
406
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,174
- What? What happened?
407
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,709
Nothing happened.
408
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,312
- Nemo's was robbed,
and raymond was there.
409
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,048
I knew that something
would happen to him.
410
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,649
- What happened
to him?
411
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,518
He's standing here.
412
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,753
He's fine!
413
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:04,655
Let's celebrate with
the making of some eggs.
414
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,392
- Are you okay,
sweetie?
415
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,693
- Yes, I'm okay
because robert--
416
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,329
- Oh, how could you do
that to your brother?
417
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,331
He could've been killed!
418
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,433
- Ma, you don't understand--
- be quiet.
419
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,102
Getting involved
in something like that
420
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,270
With your brother there?
421
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,172
He's gentle!
422
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,576
- Police business, mom.
423
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,145
My job?
424
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,247
- Oh, stop with
the excuses!
425
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,049
No more tag-arounds!
426
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:36,487
- It's a ride-along, ma.
Okay?
427
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,089
And you don't have
to worry anymore
428
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,557
'cause it'll never
happen again.
429
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,092
Gentle raymond can stay
430
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,428
As far away from me
as possible.
431
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:47,131
- Come on.
Robert!
432
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,599
- All right, good.
433
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,401
All right,
you must be upset, sweetie.
434
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,702
I'll make you
some oatmeal.
435
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,638
That'll settle
your stomach.
436
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,774
- Who the hell voted
for oatmeal?
437
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,176
- Forget the oatmeal.
438
00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,343
Why are you doing
that to him?
439
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:01,079
- Do what?
440
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,780
- You act like
it's nothing what he does.
441
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,682
He stopped an armed
robbery last night.
442
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,517
I didn't do anything.
I had to throw up.
443
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,652
- You threw up?
444
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:10,088
You should have
some dry toast.
445
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,758
- Will you stop?
446
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,593
Robert's the one
you should be worried about.
447
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,229
Are you listening
to me, ma?
448
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,164
He's the one
who's out there every day.
449
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,532
He's the one who's
risking his life--
450
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,601
- I know what he does.
451
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,804
I don't need
to think about it.
452
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,407
- Okay, I just wanted
you to know--
453
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,775
- Enough!
454
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,677
Your mother doesn't like
to think about it!
455
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,515
Now--now you made me forget.
456
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:41,152
What is it--
oatmeal or eggs, marie?
457
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,220
Let's go!
458
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,489
- Okay.
- Come on!
459
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:49,193
- Excuse me.
460
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:50,328
- You taking shamsky
for a walk?
461
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,729
- Yep.
462
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,197
- Hey, maybe I'll
go with you.
463
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:55,466
- Well, you better
check with your mama.
464
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,202
- Oh, come on, robert.
Wait up.
465
00:18:58,204 --> 00:18:59,737
- It's cold.
466
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,240
You two,
button your coats.
467
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,844
- So...
468
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,513
- Yeah?
469
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,516
- You always walk him
this early?
470
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:15,319
- I gotta get him to the park
before the other dogs.
471
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,921
- Why, he fights?
472
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,190
- Nah. Shy bladder.
473
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,894
- Listen,
the newspaper thing.
474
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,629
It was supposed
to be about you.
475
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,897
You know,
I told them--
476
00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:28,766
- No, no, listen,
I know how that stuff works.
477
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,502
You work for the paper.
People know who you are.
478
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,404
You're the important part.
479
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,840
- No, you were
the important part.
480
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:39,710
- All right, listen,
I'm fine with it, okay?
481
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,246
It doesn't matter to me
what people think.
482
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,848
- I know.
483
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,449
I'm glad I saw that,
though,
484
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:46,951
'cause you were...
485
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:52,523
Something.
486
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,431
- Thanks.
487
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:04,435
Want to go again tonight?
488
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:08,873
- What are you, nuts?
489
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,908
- Well, how about to the park?
490
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,477
- Yeah, okay.
Park, okay.
491
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:14,579
You gonna button
your coat?
492
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:15,680
- Nah.
493
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,715
- Nah. Me neither.
494
00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:27,625
- You couldn't listen
to your mother.
495
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,495
Next time I say
button your coats,
496
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:34,232
Maybe you'll button
your coats.
497
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:41,739
And no more "cops."
that's not entertainment.
33518
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