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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:04,470 - Oh, big mistake. 2 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,438 He's going into the alley. 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,142 My boys should be coming right...Now. 4 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,710 - What? Oh, you seen this one already. 5 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,479 - No, no, that's the way you do it, see? 6 00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,481 First of all, you set up a perimeter, right? 7 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,316 You close off all the avenues of escape. 8 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:19,485 It's like catching a mouse. 9 00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:22,654 - Hey, I've seen you with a mouse. 10 00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:24,723 Remember this? 11 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:28,694 Aah! 12 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:36,168 - Remember me beatin' the crap outta you? 13 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,141 Ah, they got the bracelets on him. 14 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:43,442 He ain't goin' nowhere. 15 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,676 - Of course he's not going anywhere. 16 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,678 The show's call "cops." it's fixed. 17 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,281 You never see the bad guy getting away. 18 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,517 - Let 'em get their own show. 19 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:54,319 You see the way they ran that punk down? 20 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,155 - You ever run like that? 21 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,423 - I've been known to. 22 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,590 - Yeah, when do you run? 23 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,060 - When I have to. - Yeah. 24 00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:04,496 Last time you ran was when the wind took your balloon. 25 00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:15,841 - What are you saying, raymond? 26 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,476 - Nothing. Nothing. 27 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,812 - You don't think I do this? 28 00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:22,147 - Come on, this is show biz. 29 00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:25,684 This is three months of filming cut down to half an hour. 30 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,753 What? 31 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:32,491 - Want to go on a ride-along? 32 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:33,659 - What? 33 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,227 - A citizen's ride-along. 34 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,230 Come on, big shot. 35 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,100 Spend a shift in the back of my patrol car. 36 00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,135 - What and drive around with you? 37 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,636 - Mm-hmm. That's right. 38 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,639 Put your ass where your mouth is. 39 00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,444 - Why would I want to-- 40 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,379 - You know what I mean. 41 00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,183 What's the matter, you scared? 42 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,685 - I'm not--I'm not scared. I'll go anytime. 43 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:00,786 - How about tonight? 44 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,287 - I can't go tonight. 45 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,555 - Yeah, that's 'cause you're scared. 46 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:04,723 - All right, go ahead. 47 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,593 I'll go. You set it up, and I'll go. 48 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,795 - All right, fine, I'll check with my partner, 49 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:10,863 And we'll get you a vest. 50 00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:14,733 - What do you mean, a vest? 51 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:18,370 - Bullet...Proof...Vest. 52 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,442 - Okay, fine. 53 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,210 Fine. Go ahead. 54 00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,312 Go right ahead. 55 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,680 I'll just--I'll check with my partner. 56 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:29,815 Hey, deb. 57 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,283 Robert wants me to go with him 58 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,418 On his patrol tonight, you know, and... 59 00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:36,388 Sit in the car where all the action is 60 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,391 And wear a bulletproof vest, okay? 61 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,926 - Sure. Have fun. 62 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,898 bum-ba-da-dun 63 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:00,913 - Frank, what are you doing? 64 00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:02,414 Close the refrigerator. 65 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,882 Put that on a plate. 66 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,517 - I don't want a plate. 67 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,819 I just want a couple of bites. 68 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,589 - That's disgusting, 69 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,224 Sticking your fork in there. 70 00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:13,759 Now nobody else can eat it. 71 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,295 - That's all it takes? 72 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,530 This fork was in the ice cream too. 73 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,501 - Oh, hi, dear. 74 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:23,902 You hungry? 75 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,837 I'm sorry, I can't offer you lasagna or ice cream. 76 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,839 - Or chocolate cake. 77 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:34,613 - He's like an animal marking his territory. 78 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,815 Hey! 79 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:40,252 - Come on, that was a compliment. 80 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,322 - God, I wish this was the wrong house. 81 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,329 Where's robert? 82 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,697 - He's going to work in a few minutes. 83 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,465 - Yeah, I know. I know. I'm going with him. 84 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,766 - What? - Yeah, yeah. 85 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,736 - Robert, you're taking raymond to work with you? 86 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,272 - Yeah, on a citizen ride-along. 87 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,474 - No one discussed this with me. 88 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,442 You're not going. 89 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,477 - Aw-- - aw, ray. 90 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,846 Your mommy won't let you go. 91 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,915 - Ma, I'm an adult, okay? 92 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,516 I don't need a permission slip. 93 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,518 - Oh, you do have to sign this release form. 94 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,422 The department can't guarantee your protection. 95 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,458 - I thought you were my protection. 96 00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,261 - No, he's not--robbie, give me that. 97 00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,829 Oh, frank, do something! 98 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,398 Robert's putting raymond in danger. 99 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,401 - Danger? You want to know danger? 100 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,503 - Here we go. 101 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,372 - Try korea. 102 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:36,041 They were firing at us with kalashnikov rifles. 103 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,677 Those things snap off 30 rounds a second. 104 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,779 What are you two gonna be doing, 105 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:44,349 Sitting in a squad car with a thermos full of cocoa? 106 00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:46,885 - Actually, no. 107 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,389 That increases the frequency of urination. 108 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,891 - I--I don't like any of this. 109 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,293 - Come on, let's go, raymond. 110 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,527 - Oh, raymond, don't. 111 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,828 - Ma, I'm going. I'm going. 112 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,664 - Oh, don't. 113 00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,300 All right then, why only raymond? 114 00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:02,701 Take debra and the kids too. 115 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,505 That way I'll lose my whole family in one night. 116 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,073 At least take him! 117 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,317 - 2-3, sergeant. 118 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,985 - 2-3, sergeant. 119 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,486 - You get that 10-10? 120 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,788 - I copy. 121 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,589 - Sergeant? They call you sergeant? 122 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,825 - That's his rank. Sit back. 123 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,896 - Sergeant. 124 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,431 Do they know you lick your q-tips 125 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,633 Before you stick 'em in your ears? 126 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,535 - Raymond. 127 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,337 - I copy the 10-10. 128 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,772 Open warehouse door, checked out okay. 129 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,973 - Open door, yeah. 130 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,842 Nobody even broke in. 131 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:46,745 Good thing I'm wearing the vest. 132 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,413 It could've been drafty. 133 00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,617 - We better drive by later. 134 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,753 If it's open again, we'll call in a k-9 car 135 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:57,356 And, uh, send in the bow-wow. 136 00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,391 That's a police dog. 137 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:03,028 - Oh, bow-wow's a police dog. 138 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,898 Hmm, how do you crack that code? 139 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,633 - That ain't funny. 140 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,602 And you don't talk while we're on the radio. 141 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,570 Now sit back! 142 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,674 - I told you, raymond: 143 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,377 It's important that you not interfere with police business. 144 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,644 - Well, what police business? 145 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,780 We've been driving around for 3 hours. 146 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,850 I saw more action on my paper route. 147 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,485 - All right! 148 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,453 - Hey, maybe later we can climb a tree 149 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,490 And save a meow-meow. 150 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,526 - That's enough, raymond. 151 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,660 - I'm starting to see what you mean 152 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:36,828 About your little brother. 153 00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:37,996 - Yeah, see what I'm saying? 154 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,531 - What? What does he say? 155 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:43,435 - Sit back! I'm not gonna tell you again! 156 00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,738 - You just lost your tip. 157 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,675 There's nothing to do. I'm bored back here. 158 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,577 At least run the siren a little. 159 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,649 This vest is a little smelly. 160 00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,152 Hey, if you wash these with regular clothes, 161 00:07:00,154 --> 00:07:03,588 Do they become bulletproof? 162 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,557 Okay. Okay. 163 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:06,892 - 2-3, sergeant. 164 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,093 - 2-3, sergeant. 165 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,495 - Got an emergency call, patching it through. 166 00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:11,463 - All right. 167 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,631 Emergency. 168 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,133 You wanted action? Here we go. 169 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:18,470 - Robbie, how's raymond? 170 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:21,773 Is he okay? I want to talk to raymond. 171 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,809 - Ma! 172 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:27,879 - Give me the usual. 173 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,915 I'm going to the ladies' room. 174 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,516 - Why are we taking a break? 175 00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,453 What are we taking a break from? 176 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:37,122 - How about a break from your mouth? 177 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:43,195 - She seems nice. 178 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,198 - Sit down, raymond. 179 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,167 Sit down. 180 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,735 I want to talk to you. 181 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,103 - All right, 182 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,605 But I have a right to a ginger ale. 183 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:54,940 You know that? 184 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,942 - Just stop it, okay? 185 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,511 I'm sorry this is such a slow night for you. 186 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:03,014 - No, no, no. There was that open door. 187 00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:07,819 - Enough, raymond. Okay? 188 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,922 A slow night for you is a good night for me. 189 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:14,659 You have no idea what this job entails. 190 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,028 And your attitude is an insult to me, my partner, 191 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,130 And every other cop on the force. 192 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,599 - Relax, robert. 193 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,033 I'm--I'm joking here, that's all. 194 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,535 - Yeah, yeah, right, yeah. 195 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,870 They're just little jokes, right? 196 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:25,871 I'm one big joke to you-- 197 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,606 My height, my little quirks, 198 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,841 The year I had an afro. 199 00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,145 - Now, come on. That was funny. 200 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:37,148 - It was the style then, man. 201 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,951 - All right, come on, relax. 202 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,521 - You guys gonna order, or can I grab a smoke? 203 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,122 - Come on. What do you want to eat? 204 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,590 I'm buying. - I'm not hungry. 205 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,892 - Come on. I'll buy for judy too. 206 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,294 What does she eat, little kids? 207 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,563 - You just can't stop, can you? 208 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,833 - Look, when you're ready, I'm out back. 209 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,134 - Robert. 210 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,269 - What? 211 00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:59,871 - Over there. 212 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,974 - Hurry it up. 213 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,043 - Get down. 214 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,047 - Huh? 215 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,315 - Get down. 216 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,950 - Robert... 217 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,085 I left my vest in the car. 218 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,590 - Now, whatever happens... 219 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,725 Stay down. 220 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,294 - No, no, no, wait, wait, wait. 221 00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:24,829 Call the police. 222 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,698 - Shh. 223 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,866 - Come on, let's go. Hurry up, come on. 224 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,279 - Get your hands behind your back. 225 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,314 - I didn't do anything! 226 00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:43,615 - You didn't do anything, huh? 227 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,116 - What'd I do? 228 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,619 - Is everybody okay? Nemo, you all right? 229 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,721 - Yeah, yeah. - How we doin', huh? 230 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,355 Wise guy. 231 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,289 - What happened here? 232 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,657 - Well, we got a 10-30. 233 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,259 Better check outside. 234 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,029 You all right, nemo? - Yeah. 235 00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,898 - No getaway car. 236 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,767 Got no friends? 237 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,035 - That's all right. We'll give him a ride. 238 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,103 Get him outta here. 239 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,372 - I'll radio it in. 240 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,940 - Come on, ray. You can ride up front. 241 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,282 Come on. 242 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,383 What are you looking at? 243 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,239 - Ray? 244 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,308 - Hmm. 245 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,643 - What time is it? 246 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,177 - Hmm. 247 00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,089 - What are you doing? 248 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,758 Why are you lying there like that? 249 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,893 Take your clothes off. 250 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,662 - Oh, I'm not in the mood. 251 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,365 - What are you talking about? 252 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,167 Hey, how was the ride-along? 253 00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:12,704 - It was very boring. 254 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:15,407 Followed by a short period of terrifying. 255 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,209 - What do you mean? What happened? 256 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,180 - We went into nemo's for a break, 257 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,982 And a guy came in with a gun. 258 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:26,117 - My god! What do you mean, a gun? 259 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,786 - A gun. A gun. I mean a gun. 260 00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,388 A thing they use to rob things. 261 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,157 - What are you doing with a gun? 262 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,258 - Nothing! I didn't have the gun. 263 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,926 - I mean near a gun! 264 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,861 Who told you to go out and be with guns? 265 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,197 - You did. - I did not. 266 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,032 I said you could ride in the back 267 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,767 Of robert's police car. 268 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,803 I never said you should get out of the car. 269 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,271 - I'm okay, I'm okay. 270 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,807 - Jerk! You idiot! 271 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,275 - I'm okay. I'm okay! 272 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,342 - Stupid, how could you...? 273 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,445 - Ow! 274 00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:55,914 I need my vest again. 275 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,883 - My god. How did this--what happened? 276 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,020 - Nothing, 'cause robert stopped the guy, 277 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,722 And then we took him to the station, 278 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,790 And then robert booked him and printed him, 279 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,892 And then I told robert I had to throw up, 280 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,428 And judy took me home. 281 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:11,429 - How is robert? 282 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,964 - He's fine. 283 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,933 He's--I've never seen him like that. 284 00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,868 He just took control. He's... 285 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,169 You know, it's like one minute 286 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,904 He's my brother who eats like this, 287 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,907 And the next minute, he's like this...Cop. 288 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,008 - Why? What did he do? 289 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,376 - I don't know. 290 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,345 It happened so fast. I don't know exactly. 291 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:32,183 And my view was a little obstructed by the...Table leg. 292 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,986 - Oh, were you scared? 293 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,254 - A little. 294 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,922 - Ohh... 295 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,758 - Yeah, b-but robert, you know, was... 296 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,159 Was not. 297 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,494 - Well, you know, that's his job. 298 00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:45,463 - I know, I know, but I couldn't do that. 299 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:48,066 I mean, what's the most dangerous thing I do? 300 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,269 I let the kids jump on me without wearing a cup. 301 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:59,110 Robert-- robert is--he's really-- 302 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,845 He's--he's really... 303 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,947 - You're proud of him. 304 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,149 - Well... 305 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,152 He's like a...Hero. 306 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:10,221 You know, and everybody's always 307 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,456 Making a big fuss about what I do 308 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,491 Just 'cause I have some column. 309 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:17,495 Robert's the one whose name should be in the paper. 310 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,497 - Did you tell him that? 311 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,500 - You know what? 312 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,069 I'm gonna do better than that. 313 00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:26,204 - Who are you calling? 314 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,173 - Hold on. 315 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,874 Hey, max. Yeah, it's ray. 316 00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:32,844 Listen, you didn't put the paper to bed yet, did you? 317 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,513 Okay, great. I got a great story. 318 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:38,850 I went with my brother on this police ride-along. 319 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,485 Yeah, yeah, the big guy. 320 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,420 Yeah, the chin-toucher. 321 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,888 Yeah, listen, 322 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,857 Listen, you're not gonna believe what happened. 323 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,061 - Honey, what are you doing? 324 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:50,962 - I'm cutting molly's hair. 325 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,597 - Oh, no, no, sweetie, 326 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,165 If you cut a doll's hair it doesn't grow back. 327 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,333 Only people hair grows back. 328 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,902 - Oh. 329 00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,070 Geoffrey! 330 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,572 - No, no, sweetie, sweetie, no. 331 00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,207 That's okay. Just cut the doll's hair. 332 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,275 Oh, here, see? You missed a spot. 333 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:09,347 - Hey. 334 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,615 - Hey. 335 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,150 Is the article in there? 336 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,252 - I can't...Find it. 337 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:17,922 Oh, no. 338 00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,224 - What, they didn't print it? 339 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,291 - Look at that. 340 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,860 - That's you. 341 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:22,961 - I know. 342 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,863 That's a picture of me. Why? 343 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:28,533 - "newsday's own ray barone survives pizza holdup." 344 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,635 I thought it was supposed to be about robert. 345 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,971 - It was! 346 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,405 "sports columnist ray barone, 347 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:38,309 Narrowly escaped gunplay when an armed robber..." 348 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,446 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! 349 00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,949 - Does it mention him at all? 350 00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,185 - "police apprehended the suspect." 351 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,953 That--police. They didn't mention him. 352 00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:51,556 - He's police. 353 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,024 - Oh, no. What did they do? 354 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,059 - Hey, maybe robert won't read the paper today. 355 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:58,096 - He's robert. He reads it every day. 356 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,397 He reads it. 357 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,032 He taps his chin 12 times with it, 358 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,635 And he reads it again. 359 00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,169 Aaggh! 360 00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,410 - Hey, robert. 361 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:19,984 Oh, you read the paper. 362 00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:22,320 - I only wish I didn't have to read it again. 363 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:27,926 "newsday's own ray barone..." 364 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:30,128 - Okay, okay, let me explain. 365 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,496 - Oh, no, no need. 366 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:34,098 - Listen, the reason I called the paper-- 367 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,400 - The reason, raymond... 368 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,035 I think I know the reason. 369 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,102 It's called self-promotion. 370 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,271 - What? No. 371 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,506 - What's the matter, raymond, huh? 372 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,141 Sports section isn't enough anymore? 373 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,375 - Oh, come on-- 374 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:47,545 - You have to be all over the paper. 375 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:48,646 - Robert. - Ga-ga-ga-ga. 376 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,248 Why don't you hop on the subway, 377 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,183 Make the travel section? 378 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,318 - All right, come on. 379 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,686 - How about the food section? 380 00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,154 "newsday's own ray barone 381 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:59,290 Enjoys salami sandwich." 382 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,059 I'll tell you what. 383 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:02,427 I'll give you change for a dollar. 384 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,262 You can make the financial pages. 385 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:07,298 "ray barone converts paper into coin." 386 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,635 - Are you through? 387 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,971 - Yes. 388 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,673 Unless you're gonna be changing your clothes today. 389 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,275 Fashion pages! 390 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,411 - I get it! I get it, robert. 391 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,214 - Why are people talking? 392 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,350 It's 8:00 in the morning. 393 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,553 No talking before 9:00. 394 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,488 - Oh, good, raymond. You're back. 395 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,689 You hungry? 396 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,157 - No, no. No, thanks, mom. 397 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,559 - So how was it? 398 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,027 - Here, you can read about it in the paper. 399 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,161 - No, give me-- 400 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,363 Come on, robert. 401 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:42,100 - Robert, what is that? 402 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,335 "newsday's own ray barone survives..." 403 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,137 Guns? 404 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,505 - Listen, listen, the point was-- 405 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,240 - What did you do to your brother? 406 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,174 - What? What happened? 407 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,709 Nothing happened. 408 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,312 - Nemo's was robbed, and raymond was there. 409 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,048 I knew that something would happen to him. 410 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,649 - What happened to him? 411 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,518 He's standing here. 412 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,753 He's fine! 413 00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:04,655 Let's celebrate with the making of some eggs. 414 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,392 - Are you okay, sweetie? 415 00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,693 - Yes, I'm okay because robert-- 416 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,329 - Oh, how could you do that to your brother? 417 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,331 He could've been killed! 418 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,433 - Ma, you don't understand-- - be quiet. 419 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,102 Getting involved in something like that 420 00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,270 With your brother there? 421 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,172 He's gentle! 422 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,576 - Police business, mom. 423 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,145 My job? 424 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,247 - Oh, stop with the excuses! 425 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,049 No more tag-arounds! 426 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:36,487 - It's a ride-along, ma. Okay? 427 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,089 And you don't have to worry anymore 428 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,557 'cause it'll never happen again. 429 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,092 Gentle raymond can stay 430 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,428 As far away from me as possible. 431 00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:47,131 - Come on. Robert! 432 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,599 - All right, good. 433 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,401 All right, you must be upset, sweetie. 434 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,702 I'll make you some oatmeal. 435 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,638 That'll settle your stomach. 436 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,774 - Who the hell voted for oatmeal? 437 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,176 - Forget the oatmeal. 438 00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,343 Why are you doing that to him? 439 00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:01,079 - Do what? 440 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,780 - You act like it's nothing what he does. 441 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,682 He stopped an armed robbery last night. 442 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,517 I didn't do anything. I had to throw up. 443 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,652 - You threw up? 444 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:10,088 You should have some dry toast. 445 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,758 - Will you stop? 446 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,593 Robert's the one you should be worried about. 447 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,229 Are you listening to me, ma? 448 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,164 He's the one who's out there every day. 449 00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,532 He's the one who's risking his life-- 450 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,601 - I know what he does. 451 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,804 I don't need to think about it. 452 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,407 - Okay, I just wanted you to know-- 453 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,775 - Enough! 454 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,677 Your mother doesn't like to think about it! 455 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,515 Now--now you made me forget. 456 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:41,152 What is it-- oatmeal or eggs, marie? 457 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,220 Let's go! 458 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,489 - Okay. - Come on! 459 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:49,193 - Excuse me. 460 00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:50,328 - You taking shamsky for a walk? 461 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,729 - Yep. 462 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,197 - Hey, maybe I'll go with you. 463 00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:55,466 - Well, you better check with your mama. 464 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,202 - Oh, come on, robert. Wait up. 465 00:18:58,204 --> 00:18:59,737 - It's cold. 466 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,240 You two, button your coats. 467 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,844 - So... 468 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,513 - Yeah? 469 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,516 - You always walk him this early? 470 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:15,319 - I gotta get him to the park before the other dogs. 471 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,921 - Why, he fights? 472 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,190 - Nah. Shy bladder. 473 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,894 - Listen, the newspaper thing. 474 00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,629 It was supposed to be about you. 475 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,897 You know, I told them-- 476 00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:28,766 - No, no, listen, I know how that stuff works. 477 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,502 You work for the paper. People know who you are. 478 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,404 You're the important part. 479 00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,840 - No, you were the important part. 480 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:39,710 - All right, listen, I'm fine with it, okay? 481 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,246 It doesn't matter to me what people think. 482 00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,848 - I know. 483 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,449 I'm glad I saw that, though, 484 00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:46,951 'cause you were... 485 00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:52,523 Something. 486 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,431 - Thanks. 487 00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:04,435 Want to go again tonight? 488 00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:08,873 - What are you, nuts? 489 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,908 - Well, how about to the park? 490 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,477 - Yeah, okay. Park, okay. 491 00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:14,579 You gonna button your coat? 492 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:15,680 - Nah. 493 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,715 - Nah. Me neither. 494 00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:27,625 - You couldn't listen to your mother. 495 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,495 Next time I say button your coats, 496 00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:34,232 Maybe you'll button your coats. 497 00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:41,739 And no more "cops." that's not entertainment. 33518

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