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Traditionally, people living in Madrid leave the city in summer

to escape from the heat, and the city tends to be deserted.

Those that stay, a few astray visitors and the tourists too,

tend to gather at the open-air celebrations

which are held during the first two weeks of August,

in the city-centre neighbourhoods,

and they are known as the festivals of St. Cajetan,

St. Lawrence and the Holy Virgin.

This film takes place during those same days and nights,

but it revolves around a woman about to turn 33,

who has decided to stay in her own city as an act of faith

and she tries out a new way of being in the world.

Hardly anything...

Everyone wants to be each one, I shall not be any less.

Madrid Anthem Agustín García Calvo

AUGUST 1

Go through.

It's the oldest building in Ribera de Curtidores

from around 1890 or thereabouts.

The nicest thing about the house is the brightness.

It has seven balconies, like in Casona's play.

The only snag is: I've no air con, it's like an oven in summer.

-I've got this fan which helps a bit... -That's fine...

Not much though, the sun moves all around the house and sets over there.

It gets really hot...

I've got these blinds, traditional balcony blinds...

When the sun beats down on this side, what I do is,

I close the shutters a little bit...

-It gives some shade and it's cooler. -Of course.

This is the coolest room in the house,

that's why I put the bed in here.

If you look under here,

it's full of books and magazines,

-I've nowhere to put them. -Right.

As for the door, it looks a bit of a tight fit,

but it closes fine, try it.

See?

Only the bathroom and kitchen have been renovated.

The only cupboard in the house is full to the brim...

-Sorry, I can't make you a space. -No worries.

I find this unit rather nice, with the light bulbs,

it's like a theatre dressing room. The lady who lived here before had it,

and she left it.

The only thing you have to bear in mind

is that this sometimes comes off.

But the boiler works perfectly, you needn't touch it.

Okay.

If you want to make a coffee...

Would you like a drink?

Some water.

I need a bit of a break, to get away from the city and the heat.

Where are you going?

To Valencia for the first two weeks in August.

My mum died not long ago and I have to sort things out with my brothers.

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

She was very old. She was quite ill.

She started going downhill when my dad died three years ago...

And suddenly I'm an orphan.

But I've been keeping myself occupied

with an article I've been asked to write for a magazine.

Actually, it was an obituary too...

on Stanley Cavell, a North American philosopher.

-I've never heard of him. -He's very interesting,

he wrote a lot about cinema.

May I smoke?

He became well-known with a book about comedies

from the golden years of Hollywood.

The first book of his to be translated here

was Pursuits of Happiness.

It focuses on the comedies from the '30s in particular,

not the social films during the years of the Great Depression,

but rather these popular and apparently escapist comedies

which are, however, more advanced in terms of traditions and morals.

With those wonderful actresses,

strong actresses with lots of personality,

so different from one another:

Barbara Stanwyck, Katherine Hepburn...

I'd say they were the first actresses to wear trousers in films.

They're also films about feminine identity,

the courage of being oneself,

knowing who you really are...

and he relates all this to Emerson,

one of the fathers of North American philosophy.

I've never heard of him either.

Anyway, more importantly, your keys.

I've had some spare keys cut and they work.

-Okay. -But you must be careful with this one.

Why?

Because it's an old door

and it gets stuck, you have to turn it bit...

pulling it towards you, that's all.

The other two are for upstairs, I only use one.

Okay.

Nothing else really.

I'll leave about 1:30 pm tomorrow to catch the train,

so you can come in whenever you like after that.

Great.

AUGUST 2

The presentation of the traditional characters

of the feasts of St. Cajetan,

St. Lawrence and the Holy Virgin 2018.

They wore rather particular vestments,

and showed certain social behaviour...

They all differed in the colours and the style of their dress...

AUGUST 3

Connection with the historical tour next to the Platea.

On the right, the palace of the Marquis of Salamanca

from the mid-19th century.

Next stop, number 12.

Archaeological Museum.

Eva...

Crikey! Luis!

-What are you doing here? -Ditto.

I wasn't sure it was you,

-I saw you between the Roman busts... -Really?

And I thought, "What's she doing on her own?"

-You felt sorry for me. -A bit.

You idiot!

How are you? It's unbelievable, you're skinny!

-And your hair. -Have you seen the sundial over there?

-No. -It's awesome.

Look, allow me.

It's amazing.

-The sun shines through that tiny hole... -Right...

The speck of light indicates the hours, which are the vertical lines,

and the summer solstice too.

I mean, it's amazing.

What are you doing here though?

Nothing much, an article on some exhibits they are claiming

from some monastery museum in Palencia.

A thrilling controversy that stems from the Confiscations of Mendizábal.

I've spoken to the director, I've had a wander

-and I was about to leave. -Super.

What about you?

What's your plan?

None at all.

-I was on my way out. -Right.

If you like, we can leave together.

Last time we spoke you were permanent.

Yes, but I was laid off.

Christ, let's get in the shade, please.

Well, all those who'd joined later too.

They even laid off some of the long-term staff.

I'm a kind of freelance now,

which sounds like you own the world but I do what I can really,

whatever I'm asked to do.

I propose stories sometimes and they buy them,

but I usually have to write them and if I'm lucky, sell them.

Right.

It's bloody hot here, man. I can't stand it.

-I can't stand it. Want some? -No.

-How are you doing for time? -Fine.

Do you fancy going for a drink?

-Do you fancy going? -Yes.

A place round here though... Where we can stand the heat...

And no air con or I'll get ill.

That place over there might be okay with a terrace and sunshades.

Yes. Come on then...

Let's hope we don't die along the way.

Christ!

It was 40 degrees back there but it's cooking temperature out here.

It's better not to think about it.

How can I not think about it? Hell is rising up through my sandals.

Christ!

Besides, there used to be grass in this square.

You can't say there's much rigour in today's journalism,

but in summer, forget it.

The heat must soften our brain in general, right?

I don't know.

I think August is great for doing things

that we wouldn't be allowed to do at other times, you know?

Yes, everything is lax,

there's less desire for perfectionism and such...

Yes...

It's funny you mentioned "perfectionism"

because I think summer is perfect.

It's easier to attain perfectionism in summer.

Yes, due to the laxity you talk about, maybe,

or because people's expectations and those of society are lowered...

False expectations I mean, and all the obligations and commitments...

I don't know.

Just think about people's expectations with the idea of holidays...

where to go, when, who with,

how much will I spend?

Think of all the couples that split up in summer.

And the ones that start.

That's true.

I started with Laura in summer.

I think summer is the perfect time for being yourself, more than ever,

and for doing things better than ever.

Take you now, for example.

You have the chance to write the best article ever for...

-For El Norte de Castilla... -That's the one.

But it depends on you.

You know the newspaper will buy it because they need to fill space,

but perhaps you shouldn't settle for that.

I think we should aspire to our own demands,

without limiting ourselves because others demand less from us.

I'm talking a lot.

-No, no. -Yes.

No. I'm just pissed off because you're right.

Anyway, it's nice when someone talks to you like that.

Shall we order another?

Okay.

-I'll have another of these. -Me too.

-You too? -No, a glass of wine...

white wine.

-Chilled. -Yes.

Excuse me,

could I have another of these and a chilled white wine?

-...He saved me... -It's that way, I think.

-Fine. -We'll get something to eat.

Wow.

My parents dressed me up in the chulapo costume once.

-Seriously? -I've never forgiven them since.

-It suits you, I can just imagine it. -Really?

-You're so traditional. -Get away.

You have to have a certain something to wear these costumes,

and I don't have it. And the way they dance...

It's one of the few dances in the world where the woman leads the man.

-Really? -Yes.

-Come here a minute. -What?

-Go on, lead me. -What are you doing, man?

-You're wrong. -I'm not.

-No way. -Come on.

-No, no, no. -You don't remember, it was obvious.

How can I not remember? Of course I do.

But that's not how it was.

Am I stupid? Don't I see those things?

Well, perhaps you simply didn't want to.

-You weren't interested. -Is that what you think?

Well... But it's great... better really.

I mean, I think...

I think...

I've never regretted not getting involved with someone,

but getting involved with someone? Many times.

Well, it makes sense. It's logical really.

No, but that's like being afraid...

afraid of something that hasn't happened.

I don't know.

Fear?

Well anyway, as it stands, you're not in love

and you prefer not being in love.

-No, I didn't say that. -You did.

-I didn't say that, dammit! -No?

No, I don't want to mess things up again.

I've messed up too many times.

I've had many disasters along the way. I've had enough, it's over.

-You know? -But that's the same as being afraid.

Maybe it isn't so bad to be afraid sometimes:

afraid of getting hurt, afraid of hurting,

afraid of messing up...

-It's real heavy stuff. -What's it about?

I don't know, it's real heavy stuff.

You have to read.

AUGUST 4

Sofi?

Did I wake you up? Sorry, sorry.

No, nothing has happened, it's nothing serious.

I'm trying to open the main door

and I must be a useless fool because I can't open it.

I've been at it for half an hour and I just can't...

It's a flat someone's lent me,

the neighbours don't know me and I daren't call them.

You told me you'd be in Madrid for a few days.

You're here?

Yes, exactly, if I could...

Okay.

Okay, great. I didn't know who to call, sorry.

I'll be there in 20 minutes if I walk, if not, I'll get a taxi...

Crikey, it still smells awful.

Do you mind if I wear your T-shirt and I'll give it you back clean?

-You can keep it if you want. -No, I'll give it you back.

It's funny how he eats, isn't it?

It's a different way of doing it. We were spoon fed.

This is kind of the opposite.

The idea is that they know what they want and they decide what they eat.

It's like a game.

Doesn't it look as though he's going to choke?

I fretted a bit at first, but you get used to it.

You gradually start to relax.

-So he kind of eats and then expels it? -Yes.

How odd...

What were you doing last night? Before getting locked out, I mean.

Well, it was a strange day, I was drifting...

but basically I was with Luis.

-Luis? Luis... -Yes.

The real character Luis.

-Yeah. -How's he doing?

I haven't seen him for ages.

Fine...

-Well, he carps on a bit... -Yeah.

He's having a bit of a crisis workwise, but things are okay.

We had quite a laugh and he got a bit drunk in the end.

The last time I saw him

he was still with Laura, but things weren't too good.

They split up quite some time ago, but he hasn't got over it yet.

It's funny, when you stop seeing people and then you meet up with them again...

Like there's an idea of the relationship you had with that person,

to whom you remain loyal,

but you don't know to what extent it's real...

I feel real loyalty towards you even though you never call.

Yeah, I know.

Well, you don't phone me much either.

When you have a child you realise you're not the same person to others,

but whether you feel that way or not, you become a social outcast.

Don't exaggerate, Sofi...

I'm not exaggerating, it's true.

You can't imagine how true it is.

Most people stop counting you in on things.

They look at you from a distance,

from their own preconceptions or what they've been told.

-You want to make me feel bad? -No, I don't want you to feel bad.

But let me tell you, it's worse if I don't tell you.

You haven't phoned me in ages

and you suddenly phone at half past two in the morning

because you can't open the door at your new house

and I find out you have a new house.

If you think about it, the last I heard of you was through Jorge.

Well, it isn't a new house, it's been lent to me.

But I don't want to make excuses, you're right...

I haven't phoned you much,

and we don't see each other much.

But perhaps it's because...

you've had a child.

I may have had a child and experienced a unique change in my life,

but it's something very intimately mine.

Clearly, you took the decision to become a mother,

and it's wonderful because you've been able to.

It's what you chose, right?

And you're right, perhaps I have distanced myself from you,

but not because of Julen or because you're a mother...

I think we'd been growing apart before Julen was born, don't you think?

If you think about it...

The thing is... I'm jealous of you.

I'm jealous that you can look at it in that way, so cold and distant.

But it isn't cold and distant, Sofi,

I'm just trying to put it into words and it's good to admit it.

-It's strange but it's good. -What do you mean exactly?

Well, I don't know, nothing that we both don't already know.

I think life has gradually changed us,

and many things have happened.

And we're here right now, and I think...

I don't know, I think it's good to be able to talk about it like this.

It could have been worse.

We could've stopped seeing each other.

I've lost touch with people and I bet you have too.

Yes.

Last night, I was having difficulties

and I called you instinctively, I didn't think twice about it.

You're like home to me, I guess.

Look at Julen, totally involved in his own things.

He's a gent.

He's like a grown man.

He's so serious, isn't he?

He's serious and nice, he's...

-He's very "Primitive". -Yes, you're right.

He's really "Primitive". You've given birth to a "Primitive".

-Hello?-Hello?

Hello, I'm the neighbour on the first floor, right-hand side.

I'm new and I can't open the main door.

-You can't open it? -I can't get the key to open it.

-I don't know what's wrong.-It's a crap door.

-I'll come down. -Okay.

Hi. Sorry for bothering you.

-I can't open it. -Hello.

Allow me.

The same thing happened to me.

Look, you see? There's a slight stop

but you have to carry on and...

-The key is fine, try it. -Crikey, okay.

I was at it for two hours when I first got here.

Yes, it works.

I ended up calling the landlady, a Russian girl in Holland.

-Yes. -A friend of hers had to come,

another Russian girl here in Madrid.

I pressed all the doorbells, I think all the flats are empty.

Sorry, did you do a performance yesterday up the road with some papers?

-Yes. -Was it you?

-Was it in German? -Yes.

-Crikey! -Did you watch it?

-Yes, yes. -Did you enjoy it?

Yes, yes, it surprised me. I liked it.

Good, I'm glad. To be honest, I'm not quite sure.

-I'm Olka. -I'm Eva.

Have you just moved in?

No. I'm in a friend's flat for a short spell.

On holiday?

No. I don't know what I'm doing to be honest.

Well, I'll be here over the next few days. If you need anything...

Fifth floor, left.

-Okay. -Okay, fine.

-You coming up? -Nice meeting you.

No, now I'm down here, I'll do some shopping.

-All right. -Okay.

-Thank you. -Ciao, Eva!

I don't know why, but when I saw you,

I recalled an idea I once had, which was a bit Martian too...

Doing a street project,

which was a kind of route going around the churches in the city,

well, the church doors...

I imagined a kind of tourist guide who takes the public to the doors

and explains the architecture, the history of religion

and technical things and suddenly, in the same tone of voice,

they go on to explain their own connection with the idea of God

and faith, if they have any and...

I imagined it could be a project about the difficulty of believing

and about why we don't go into churches,

and why it's so hard to maintain any kind of faith...

Something like that.

But you? Where have you come out from?

What do you mean?

What do you do for a living?

I was an actress.

-Or something of the sort. -Really? But why say "you were"?

I was because I'm not any more.

I mean, I don't want to be one any more.

But it's something you can't stop being.

-It's vocational. -Why not? Like any other job.

No, darling, something isn't right!

Really, everything is all right, honestly!

So then, what are you now?

Well, I'm searching. I'm in the process...

Well, I won't keep on at you.

Let's go for a dance.

AUGUST 5

I was listening to the radio at home...

and I didn't know what...

You'd gone dizzy or something...

-Hello! Hello! -Hello.

-How's it going? -Fine.

-Fine? -Yes.

-Cool! We're fine too. -Great!

Yeah, we're a bit sloshed but that shouldn't go against us, right?

-I guess not. -Sure.

-Everyone's drunk. -Exactly.

You have to bear in mind the context, right?

-Yes. -And this is the context.

-Yes. -That's cool, great, right?

They're English.

Hey, hold on, hold on, I'm not English.

He's the English guy. I'm Welsh, which is totally different.

Sorry. Okay. Sure, it's different. Okay.

This is my cousin Will, he's come to visit for a few days,

and here we are...

Two kisses!

-Well, I'm Joe. -Hi, I'm Eva.

Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. -Joe.

-Olka. -Olka.

So, what's the plan?

-What plan? -Your plan now. What's the plan?

We were just talking about that...

-Having a bit of a think. -A bit of a think?

Well, we could all go somewhere else, right?

-They're closing now, I guess? -In ten minutes.

In ten minutes the music is over...

We like dancing, we want to dance.

I know some great places for dancing.

-Really? Are they far from here? -Two minutes away.

There are people inside, I don't know.

-Why don't you knock on the door? -I can't knock on the door,

because the guy gets mad, the neighbours come. I don't know.

I'll call him again, hang on.

Look, he's opening the door.

-How you doing? -Go in, go in.

-After you. -Hello.

Hello.

Before, when you were flirting with me,

-what you did in the street... -Yes, right...

Did you really think something was going to happen?

No. You didn't care!

That's what I mean, you didn't care and...

you like being like that for a while, cynics like you,

I guess that's what you are...

and you like seeing things kind of from a distance, right?

Okay, okay, I accept what you're saying.

Although I'm a bit hurt that you think I'm a cynic.

You're hurt? Well, the alternatives are much worse.

-I'm willing to accept them. -It isn't about being willing,

you already accept them, you accept certain behaviour and perpetuate it.

You know it's terrible and you pretend you're unaware.

You turn seduction into some kind of absurd and cowardly performance...

-There you go. -Okay, I'm willing to take some more.

Man, that sounds condescending and that's even worse. I'll get mad!

Condescending is a nice word, I often use it in class.

You give lessons?

Yes, I'm an English teacher at a shit language school.

What did you expect?

I don't know.

I do nothing but disappoint you.

No, I actually like the fact you're a teacher.

It surprises you...

No. Not really.

Well...

it surprises me.

Yeah, I started...

I started giving lessons by chance really, you know, I came here one summer

and I stayed and I'm still here.

What did you do before?

What did I do? Well...

I didn't do anything. I was 20 and...

I liked singing.

-Seriously? -Yes.

Will and I had a band with some mates.

-Seriously? -Yes. Will was the bassist,

-I was the singer. -Okay.

We sang songs from the International Brigades.

-No. -Yes.

Yes, we came here on tour, with a van, roughing it.

We spent the summer here and afterwards Will left and I stayed.

Our big hit was being support band at the Communist Party festivals.

Okay. Why brigade songs?

One of our great uncles was in the brigade

-and we grew up with those songs. -That can't be true.

-It's true. -You're making it up.

-I'm not. -It's a cheap seduction technique.

-You think so? -Yes, it can't be true.

That's "Jarama Valley", one of the most legendary.

The one he was trying to sing was about Madrid.

It's a nice one.

It was written by Alex McDade, a worker from Glasgow,

in 1936 or 1937 and it was published in 1938,

but he was dead by then, he'd been killed.

He died in 1937 during the Battle of Brunete.

And in 1939 the veterans who had survived wrote this

with the mention of Madrid and so on...

And you explain all this in your lessons I guess?

Nope, in my lessons I stick to things like "Help" and "Yellow Submarine".

No, I don't smoke.

-Sure... -What?

That was... how did you put it? "The typical cheap seduction trick."

Cheap, yes.

No, actually, no. I'd like to smoke,

but I don't, I can't do it properly, I try but I always fail,

-it doesn't go with me. -No, it doesn't.

Why not?

Well, I don't know. Lots of things aren't your style.

You're odd, sort of.

I'm odd too, there's nothing wrong with being odd.

I don't know...

Fuck, come to think of it,

I haven't asked about you all night.

Well, that's fine, it's better that way.

Don't you like talking about yourself?

I wouldn't know what to say right now.

However, you can say things to other people, right?

For example, you called me...

You called me a coward,

you called me a cynic, a twit...

I didn't call you a twit.

Okay, you're right, but it was inferred.

No, actually, I think...

you're a cool guy.

It isn't easy to be a cool guy.

And you seem pretty cool sometimes.

Hello, darling.

How's your hangover?

Listen, I was just thinking...

we ought to do as the English-Welsh lads suggested.

We ought to go to the river.

What do you think?

Is it a crazy idea?

I didn't get their phone numbers, but I think you did, didn't you?

And if I could, I'd like to take a friend, with her baby.

Well, we'll see if it's possible.

Okay then, kiss kiss. Take it easy, ciao!

The lads say they'll come.

And if we go in our van we'll all fit in,

if there are six of us, great.

A big kiss. Ciao!

Darling! Great, great!

Right, I'll tell my friend Sofía, okay?

I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks.

Sorry, one last favour...

Could you lend me a swimming costume?

AUGUST 6

Shall we go for a swim?

-We swam in the sea last year? -Really?

Did he like it?

-He liked the sea. -Have you swum in a river?

This one is great!

-Shall we go to the shore? -Come on.

-Bye bye, Eva. -Bye, Julen...

How nice!

Wow, you're a good swimmer.

-I gave it up. -Did you?

-I used to swim when I was young. -That's great.

-Aren't you going for a swim? -Afterwards maybe, yes.

You're not very Spanish!

Why not?

You're covered up!

-Do you think? -Yes.

Don't you like the swimming costume?

Yes, it's great.

Well, it's a bit open here, but anyway.

-It's my favourite costume. -Is it?

-Yes, it was my grandmother's. -Wow!

It isn't any old costume you know?

No, I didn't think that.

It isn't the costume, it's me.

Are you modest?

A bit.

But...

isn't that rough, as an actress?

It is a little bit, sometimes.

But I think modesty is good for acting.

What a paradox.

-Why? -Well, you're funny!

Where do you know her from?

Sofía?

We've been friends for many, many years.

An old friend.

In fact, when we lived together, we were about 20,

we used to classify men into groups and there were four types, okay?

There were "Primitive" men,

"Agile" men,

"Comic" men,

and "Bohemian" men.

It was infallible. They all fit.

Joe. What type do you think he is?

-He'd be "Agile" I guess? -Exactly. He's Sofía's type.

-I think I like the "Agile" type too. -They're okay.

The "Comic" type too, maybe.

But of the girls, I'd stick with her.

I like girls like her.

Yes, Sofía is great.

Do you want to have children?

I did before.

I always wanted to.

But, I don't know.

I'm not too sure now.

What about you?

I froze my ova four years ago.

-Did you? -Yes.

It was just after I arrived in Denmark

and I knew I needed some time to myself.

I couldn't think about having children at the time

and I didn't want to miss that opportunity.

So I froze them.

Like freezing that decision, you know?

But then again, it isn't exactly a frozen decision, it's like...

a postponement really.

-Right. -I have to pay the second instalment,

you know, to keep them frozen, you have to pay a fee every two years.

-Really? -Yes.

And... It suddenly seems so strange

having something of mine frozen in another country so far away.

I don't know, I was a different person four years ago.

Now...

I don't know if I really want to pay the next fee.

To be honest, I don't think I want to.

I don't know.

But if I don't pay the fee, the chances are I won't have any children.

Because after the age of 40

the chances of getting pregnant naturally is less than 5%.

So...

But you know, I think I'd rather stick with the 5% chance.

At present.

How old are you?

I'll be 33.

Puente de los Franceses

Puente de los Franceses

Puente de los Franceses

Good heavens, no one crosses over No one crosses over

Because the Madrid folk

Because the Madrid folk

Good heavens, they guard it well They guard it so well

Through Casa de Campo

Through Casa de Campo

Through Casa de Campo Good heavens, and Manzanares

I was a teenager when I left the north.

Do you want some sweetcorn?

I feel, in a way,

that it helped me. If I hadn't left...

It helped me to be myself, to become myself.

And I intend going back to my homeland,

going back a better person in a way, I don't know.

Leave Manchester!

-I don't know. -It's funny what you said...

that it helped you to "be yourself".

Because, I was thinking about it the other day,

because in six months' time, I'll have been in Madrid for ten years.

-Ten? -Ten years. I'm 30.

-It's 33 per cent of my life. -Absolutely!

I don't know...

My parents are still in Wales, my friends are in Wales.

But it's as though... I don't know if...

if I left Wales

because that's the way I am,

of if I am the way I am because I left Wales, you know?

Which was first, right?

Yes, I guess it's a bit of the two, you have a saying in Spanish...

Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

-That one? -Egg, chicken...

It's a bit of a catch-22.

I know what you mean,

whether you're who you are because you left,

or that's who you are and...

And that's why I left...

I've moved to different countries several times

and it's been almost like starting afresh each time.

It's nice because you don't know anyone and you're like a blank slate,

so you reinvent your life, you know?

-You change. -It sets you free,

but it must be scary too.

I think it's a chance...

And that energy at the start is such a nice, powerful energy,

and you can do so many things.

But I also admire people who have never been away

and who've had the courage to find that freedom in a familiar environment.

It's possibly easier even to be free when no one knows you.

-Of course. -And reinvent yourself.

But doing it within your own environment,

I think that's also a brave thing to do.

In a way.

Have you never moved away?

-Have you ever lived abroad? -I'm the only one from Madrid.

Hey, I'm adopted, right?

Ten years in Lavapiés.

You've travelled a lot but you've never lived, kind of...

No.

Abroad.

No, I don't know why.

I feel a bit jealous of you all.

I suppose it's hard to become your true self if...

you haven't become emancipated from your parents

or from the place where...

That was a hell of a phrase.

-Why? -To be your true self.

How do we become our true self?

-Long live the modest actress! -Long life!

To become your true self...

How you become who you really are...

AUGUST 7

AUGUST 8

Hello. How are you?

I'd like a ticket for the first session at half past four.

Thank you.

-Hello. -Hello.

-Do you remember David? -Yes, of course.

-Hi. -How are you?

-How are you? -Fine.

-How are you? -Good.

-Have you come to the cinema? -Yes.

-You too? -Yes.

-I'll get the tickets. -Yeah, sure.

I thought you weren't in Madrid.

I've been away, I told you I was going to Italy...

-Yes, I knew. -I came back a few days ago.

Right.

-You're tanned. -Yes, look.

-Yes, you are. -Did you stay in the end

-or did you go away? -Yes, I stayed in Madrid in the end.

-Are you all right? -Yes. Are you?

Yes.

You won't believe it, I was just saying to David,

"Imagine we go to the cinema and we bump into Eva."

-Well, it's natural with this film. -Sure.

-You got them? -Yes.

-It's almost time. -Yes...

Of course.

-I'll go inside. -Yes.

-Yes. -I'll see you inside.

Okay, ciao, David.

Shall we go inside or...?

No, you go inside. You go in.

Go on, David is waiting.

Are you going to come in or...?

All right.

"We hadn't seen each other in three months.

It's all been so fast.

But it's as though it's been much longer.

He looked well.

He confessed he'd thought about meeting me, in that same spot.

He was about to invite me for a drink, but he didn't.

Well, I guess it's better that way.

I stood at the entrance like an idiot.

I don't know why I left really.

I really wanted to see the film.

I'll go back tomorrow."

AUGUST 9

Thank you.

And when I came back to Madrid, counting the days,

I realised that my ovulation

-coincided with the eclipse. -With the eclipse?

Yes.

What?

It's all related.

You know, I could do a session with you, it would be good for you.

-I don't know. -I did it to Lucía the other day.

-Lucía? What did you do to her? -I went to her house.

It went well.

She says it's the first time it came with no pain.

-Really? -Almost without noticing.

-I don't know. -You've nothing to lose.

I'll phone the doctor first

for an appointment with the specialist.

One doesn't rule out the other but it would be good for you.

I don't know. I'll think about it.

You can do it to me during the next full moon.

On August 26.

You're mad.

I like it when there's an open end to it, so you can...

But if it's left so open it's like...

Hello. Excuse me. Hello.

-Sorry to bother you, hello. -Hello.

I heard you talking before about... Before the film started...

-What were we talking about? -Before the... Yes, about...

About...

-Well... -Not that...

I couldn't help overhearing, I was sat in front,

but anyway... I'm interested.

-Okay. -That's her department.

I've no idea.

-So, you're interested? -Yes, yes.

I don't know how it works but...

Well, okay, it's simple. I can go to your house and...

-At home? -Yes.

-Yes. -Great, great.

-Well, we can exchange numbers and... -Yes.

-I'm María. -Right.

-I'm María too. -The two Marías!

-I'm Eva. -Nice to meet you.

-How are you? -Nice to meet you.

-I'll be here for the whole of August. -Me too, me too.

-Okay, well, whenever it suits you and... -Okay.

AUGUST 10

-Hi. -Hello, María, how are you?

-Very well. -Come in, come in.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

No worries, I came on the tube. It's a bit hot but it's okay.

-Right. -Your house is lovely!

-Do you like it? -I love it.

Well, it isn't my house really, a colleague has lent it to me,

but you're right, it's lovely.

-How are you feeling? -Fine.

A bit anxious not knowing what it's like.

-It won't do you any harm. -Okay.

I'm not going to hurt you, I mean.

Where do you want to do it?

I'd thought of doing it here. Is that okay?

-Perfect. -Okay?

-Yes, I'll leave this here. -Okay.

We could take that chair and put it...

-Sorry, would you like a drink? -I could do with some water.

-Thanks. -All right.

Close your eyes.

You can open your eyes whenever you like.

How was it?

Fine.

-How do you feel? -Fine.

-Shall I blow it out? -Yes.

-Do I have to drink all of it? -As you wish, but...

Just in case.

How was it? How did it go?

Fine, I guess.

Fine, right?

Fine, I think. I'm kind of floating at the moment...

She's left me feeling a bit off my head but I think it went well.

I felt hot all of a sudden and then, what you did, it was like...

-I blew? -Yes, I felt a really strange puff...

-Yes, because... -What was it?

I work with the three female energy centres,

which are, these two here, it's related to the chakras,

the forehead and the crown...

-Right. -The heart and the womb.

-So, what I do is reiki basically... -Okay, right.

With that burst of warm air to focus the energy

and it aims to regulate those chakras, above all, the ones specific to women.

-Right. -I cupped your hands.

It represents our womb, which can contain life,

it has a lot of strength and power. We all come from a womb

-Yes, from a bowl. -From a bowl.

All this has been hidden, our grans didn't talk about this.

It was, "Don't make mayonnaise, it'll curdle,"

"if you've got your period," and it's like, "What?"

Don't have a shower or a bath...

Move away from society.

But now it's more a case of, "No, carry on as normal."

"Don't let it show you've got your period." Of course it's gonna show.

-It's terrible. -It's like you're weak.

Stopping when you get your period, as though we can't manage.

You have to show it doesn't affect you, you're no less for having your period,

or for saying, you're going to stop for a minute.

-I've nearly drunk mine. -We'll order another!

-Let it roll. -Have another.

-We're blessed! -I'm well blessed!

-It's affecting me more than usual. -Is it? I'm glad.

-I'm really open. -I'm glad.

I'm not blessed.

-Because you don't want to be. -Because I don't want to... well...

You're having a go at me.

-No. -Yes, you took a poke at me.

She laughs about it now.

She thinks I'm sceptical about all this, but I'm not.

-I know. -Because I think, in part...

Well, we're connected with the moon, yes.

-We're 60 per cent water, it affects... -We're 80 per cent.

-Eighty? -Eighty.

If it affects the tides, it's bound to affect us, right?

Man, you bet.

No, but what worries me a bit about all this is...

Well, just imagine if someone hears us talking about the ritual,

about "the womb blessing", you know?

No...

See? You laugh about it,

-but I'm not laughing. -Because I understand how you feel.

If someone hears us and starts saying, "Look, that bunch of lunatics,

they have nothing better to do,

they've no other way of solving their pains and problems

-other than seeking help from the cosmos." -Right.

Looking at the universe and the horoscope...

-It's true. -I know.

-What can we do? -It isn't true.

-What can we do? -Well, I don't know,

but I'm telling you,

if a man suffered chronic pains like we do,

-let's say, several days a month... -Yeah.

-Let them tough it out. -Tough it out, no,

they wouldn't question sick leave,

-it would simply exist. -Yeah.

-At home and done with it. -Absolutely. They'd have...

I've no doubt about it.

AUGUST 11

It's the 'tears of St. Lawrence'.

The night between the 11th and 12th

is perhaps when the Perseids are most visible.

You don't have to look in any one particular direction.

You just need to have a broad vision of the sky,

let your eyes get used to the darkness,

and wait for as long as it takes.

AUGUST 12

For just a moment, I caught a glimpse of Luis.

Luis, Luis. Yes...

with the tourist.

And she’s explaining

where shooting stars come from...

Comets don’t travel very quickly across the sky.

But some of them can cross the whole sky almost, in one single night.

Shooting stars are fast,

they are dust particles from comets,

when they near the Sun.

And the Earth continues to move

and dust particles from the stars come into contact with the atmosphere

and they get hot and burn...

Hello?

Hello, excuse me.

Can you hear me?

Hello.

Are you all right?

Excuse me, I don't think you're allowed to be over there.

They put this here as a preventive measure to keep people away from here.

Yes, I know, don't worry, honestly, everything is all right, okay?

Hello.

Sorry to bother you, it's just that...

I saw you here and I guess it kind of worried me.

I went underneath, over there.

Where did you get through?

Over there.

Of course. Okay, okay.

It's nice here, isn't it?

There's kind of a cooler breeze.

It's...

It's due to the mountains in the distance.

You can't see them now.

-Of course. -Well, the Casa de Campo too.

I've just been to Debod.

I was watching the shower of shooting stars.

There were lots of them, it was lovely.

-The tears of St. Lawrence. -Yes.

Did you see them?

-Yes. -Yes?

Yes.

Actually, I'd never seen them before.

I was always out partying.

What do you mean, partying?

Yes. I'm from Huesca.

And it's the main festival week there now,

St. Lawrence is the patron saint.

My phone is full of messages.

Would you like to be there now?

The truth is, I'm never where I want to be.

Yeah.

I know what you mean, it's a rather terrible feeling.

Are you from around here?

Yes.

Yes, I was born over there, on the other side of the river,

in the Quinta de Goya. Do you know it?

Sure.

It seemed so far away.

Then I came to live in the city centre with some friends.

I've moved house quite a few times...

Now I'm in a house nearby that someone has lent me for a few days.

I don't really know where I'll live afterwards.

What about you?

I live on the other side of the river,

close to the Puente de los Franceses.

My name's Eva.

Agos.

Sorry?

Agos. From Agostino.

Agos.

You get used to it.

I guess.

I was told a story about this viaduct,

it's a kind of legend.

I remember when I heard the story I liked it.

It's about a girl from a very rich family

who falls in love with a poor boy from Carabanchel.

When the girl's family found out that they were in love

they banned her from seeing him.

And...

her love drove her insane

and she came here to this viaduct,

and she wanted to throw herself off.

So, when she jumped,

the girl was wearing a very long skirt,

and as she fell,

the skirt opened out and she kind of paraglided,

it opened out like this...

So, in the end she landed slowly on the ground,

and she was saved.

There are other stories that say she got caught on a tree...

When the girl's family realised what she was capable of doing for love,

they lifted the ban and the lovers were able to be together.

And...

they were happy,

more or less.

I don't know why I've told you this.

I'm a bit...

I think my period is about to start.

Well,

anyway...

I don't know.

I won't bother you any more.

I'll leave,

-over that way, is it? -Yes, over there.

Okay.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

What are you up to, girl? It's so hot, isn't it?

I've just seen that Soleá Morente is doing a gig today

during La Paloma festivals in La Paja Square.

We'll be going, do you fancy coming?

Go on, we'll go out for a while.

A bit later on, okay?

Kisses...

The last time I saw her in concert was in El Puerto de Santa María,

-and it was in a castle, it was great... -Hi!

Hi! How are you?

Fine. Olka, María...

-Nice to meet you? -And you.

-How's it going? We're all here now. -Hi, girls.

What can I get you?

-What's that? -Sangria.

They have double, mini...

-I'll get a mini sangria between us. -You gave me ten euros, right?

-Yes. -You sure?

Maybe I gave you 50.

I was telling Eva the last time I saw Soleá was in El Puerto de Santa María.

Asier!

Asier!

How are you doing? What are you up to?

- Just having a wander. -¿Having a wander?

She's got a song called "Suelo Español".

Yes, "Suelo Español", I love it. Let's go!

I've put my best dress on

Sorry if I've offended you

But when you speak to me All I hear is a buzzing noise

All I want to do is dance

Just dance with me...

AUGUST 13

Thank you very much! We're going to sing...

Thank you very much.

We're going to sing a song called "Todavía"

by La Bien Querida

Let's go! "Todavía".

It was

An April afternoon

It was your dark eyes Beneath an ivory-coloured sky

I felt your hand in mine

I dreamed I was dreaming I was leaving with you

Who guides the universe?

Who listens to me?

Tell me how you do it

How can I go?

I've still got time

I'm still here

I've still got time

I'm still here

Who guides the universe?

Who listens...?

Tell me

How you do it

How can I go?

-Hi, David, how's it going? -Hi.

-Hi. -Good evening.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

How are you?

-Fine. -Fine.

It's odd, isn't it?

What's odd?

Bumping into each other again, it's odd, right?

Yes. Well, it happens sometimes.

-Do you recognise me, or not? -Yes, of course.

Eva.

So... Are you on your own?

Yes.

I was following you actually.

-Are you still worried about me? -No.

No. It's...

It's like a ritual, right?

What is?

Well, you work in that place, then you go to the viaduct,

you smoke a cigarette, you come here. Right? Then what?

Well, yes. I come here for one last drink

because my friend Lucia works here,

I keep her company.

Crikey! I don't believe it!

-What? -That lad over there paying your friend,

he's just done a concert in La Paja Square.

It was great, I loved it.

He was with those two girls too

and it was as though they were singing to me.

It felt... It was thrilling,

really nice, I really enjoyed it. I can't believe it.

-Why don't you tell him? -What?

That you liked the concert, the way they played...

That it made you feel... Well, what you just told me.

I don't know, it might be a bit odd. They're all...

It might be a bit childish too.

I don't think it's childish.

We're getting more and more cynical,

it's hard to know how to admire people.

-And admire them well. -Yeah.

-You're right, it isn't that easy. -It isn't that easy.

Shall I go over then?

Okay, then, I'll take your advice.

-But don't laugh at me. -I promise.

There was lots of noise towards the end...

Hello.

Hello.

Sorry to bother you, it's just that...

I saw your concert

and... well, I noticed you were in here

and I just wanted to say that I really liked it.

-Thank you very much. -Thank you.

That's great because we were just discussing it,

some liked one thing, others liked another...

We're glad you liked it.

Very much.

Thank you for coming!

Well, I won't bother you any longer. Thanks.

Okay thanks, ciao.

That's cool...

But it's better when she...

Sure enough, I made a fool of myself, but I think...

I don't know, I think they liked it, they were nice... It's cool.

Yes, of course. They're just like us.

Well, perhaps things have worked out a bit better for them,

-but they're not much different. -Yeah.

-Do you fancy a drink? -Okay.

Lu!

-Yes? -What would you like?

-A glass of wine. -A glass of wine.

-Red or white? -White.

Okay. Sorry, no one ever asks for it.

That's okay.

So, you feel things haven't worked out for you?

Well, to be honest, things could have been better.

You're an actor.

Yes.

Me too.

We'll do something, it's a good exercise that one of my teachers taught me.

It's based on the idea that acting is like leaping

from reality to something else.

So, it's like it's always a violent action.

-What are you going to do? -It's easy.

I walk away, I come back, I slap you and then we swap over.

We kind of swap places, it's good, I'll start.

Hang on, where did you study?

Shall we do it? I'll start.

One, two, three.

Your turn.

One, two, three.

-I didn't hurt you, did I? -No, it was fine.

Fine. Now the lines.

What lines?

What do you most regret in your whole life?

Without thinking about it too much.

Not having known how to be a good father.

You've got kids?

Yes. A seven-year-old daughter.

Actually, eight, it was her birthday not long ago.

But she's hardly ever lived with me.

She's always lived with her mum and her mum's boyfriend,

who's like her dad really.

I've always been like a lost cause.

They've always had me there...

but I'm grateful.

What's her name?

Violeta.

Ciao, David.

-Ciao. -Ciao.

So then...

How will you get back to your borrowed flat?

I'll walk. It's not far.

I was just thinking...

Where I live, one of the flats is empty right now.

Well, it's not a flat, it's a room.

Our flatmate has left and it just crossed my mind...

we're starting to show it to people,

and I thought you might be interested, I don't know.

-In the room? -Yes.

I might be.

If you like, I can give you my phone number

and you can call me to come and see the flat.

-Yes, yes. -Okay.

-I'll take your number. -Sure.

You'll need to be quick about it,

you know how it goes with flats and things.

Yes,

but can I see it today or...?

Well, I'm working all afternoon.

I mean, I sleep all afternoon and then I have to go back to work,

so I'm not sure whether...

-I can't go today then? -I'm not sure whether I can,

whether I'll have time, but if you like...

you can come and see it now.

Now?

Well, if you like, I don't mind.

-It's up to you. -Yeah, sure.

All right.

Well, the only thing is, I always walk home.

It takes about 30-35 minutes depending on how fast you walk.

Okay, fine. It's nice to walk.

Yeah, I like walking home at this time of day.

Yeah.

-Okay. -Yes?

-Actually, I'm not sure... Sorry. -What?

I was just thinking, I'm not sure you'll like the flat.

-Why not? -It's a bit far from the centre.

It's not really your style.

Why isn't it my style? I want to see it.

Okay then.

Let's go.

-It has a nice, bright room. -Fine.

-You can see the Casa de Campo. -With the fresh air! Good.

So, after coming to the pub,

you come down here and you carry on with your ritual?

A man of rituals. Okay, okay.

How long does it take? Thirty or forty minutes?

They're going on holiday to India,

rock climbing somewhere over there.

It seems he's a bit of a rock climber.

Yeah.

They're going for the second two weeks.

I told them I was working till the 15th, but it was fine,

she could stay with me as of the 16th.

But apparently the tickets are more expensive or something.

The thing is, I don't know what to do about tomorrow.

-I mean, the day after tomorrow. -Yes.

I'll leave Violeta with Gonza, my other flatmate, I guess.

Right, he's called Gonzalo?

-Yes. -Will we wake him up now?

-Yes... I mean, no, we won't wake him up. -Won't he get annoyed?

No, he's a deep sleeper. He's a musician, you know?

Although he earns a living like I do, working in a pub at night.

-That's my house. -Right.

It's on... What floor is it on?

The fifth floor.

-Right, this is the kitchen... -Can I have a glass of water?

Of course you can.

Well, the bathroom is through there,

and a bit further along is my bedroom, it's a bit...

Well, it's so hot at the moment I'm sleeping in Carla's room.

It's bigger and there's more of a breeze.

It would be yours.

-Would you like to see the lounge? -Yes.

It's nice, and so bright.

-Are you all right? -Yes.

I went a bit dizzy, but I'm okay now.

-Do you want to see the room? -Yes.

It's this one.

It's a bit of a mess.

What's this?

It belongs to Carla.

She's left a few things.

Why don't we make love?

-Are you all right? -Yes.

-What about you? -Yes. Great.

I think, what's the matter with me...

I think, what's the matter with me...

I've been thinking...

what's the matter with me...

is that I'm pregnant.

But...

I can't be...

Are you awake?

Next stop: Puerta Cerrada.

It's 11:33 am, August 13, 2018.

I KNOW IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE...

AUGUST 14

The Mass I go to

The Mass I go to

The Mass I go to

The Mass I go to

Neither you nor I pray

Nor do we have any devotion

Neither you nor I pray

Nor do we have any devotion

AUGUST 15

-Hi! -Hi.

-How are you doing? -Good.

Good? I'm Eva.

-Hello. -How are you?

-How about a kiss? -Give her a kiss.

-Nice to see you. -This is the friend I told you about.

Okay.

-How's things? What are you doing here? -Good.

I was going to buy Violeta some candy floss

but I've just found out she's got a brace.

-Haven't you? -Really? Have you got a brace?

-Yes, on my top teeth. -Let me see.

-Yes. -And you can't eat... does it stick to it?

Yes, it sticks to it.

But they've put some bands on so it doesn't come loose.

Okay, good.

-Well, we could have an ice cream maybe? -Yes.

-Can you have ice cream? -Yes.

-All right then. -Sure.

-What shall we do then? -I'm not sure, shall we have a wander?

-Do you fancy that? -Okay.

-Come on then. -Okay.

Okay, great. Perfect.

We can get an ice cream or some fruit juice?

-No. -Ice cream?

-Yes. -Okay. Okay, perfect.

Don't you have to...?

Let's head towards the bar I work in.

Agos told me you're going to live with him.

-Did he? -Yep.

Yes, I might. I'm thinking about it.

And he told me you're pregnant.

-Did he? -Yes.

Who's the father?

No one.

Like the Virgin Mary.

Yes.

I've finished.

Great, it's lovely. You've signed it too.

-Shall we go for a walk? -Okay.

-Yes? -Yes.

Great.

Shall I hold your ice cream?

-I can manage. -You can manage, good.

-Right, we'll go... No, that way... -Okay.

THE AUGUST VIRGIN