Original subtitles

The wind in the woods say the softly tune Follow my voice wherever it leads

From mountains through valleys to deep rolling seas

Bored and the winds of the breeze keep the breeze

September the 5th another week of personal triumph

Hmm, I wonder if Triumph has two F's

Which all grew from a little comment I passed as my friends and I were enjoying a

perfectly splendid afternoon tea I had provided in the grounds of the old.

I've had him. Really? Did you speak to? Yes. Yes, I surely did.

As I was saying that this paper is a disgrace.

I'm told I'm a disgrace. Hmm, I have just read the redditing from front to back and back to front

And there is no mention of it whatsoever. No mention of what, sir?

My speech. Your speech. What speech? My address to the community.

When I graciously opened the river Banker's annual flower show last fifty-seven annual flower show

Look, I do wish you'd stop interrupting. Who cares about the Rotno show?

Wait, wait. It's my speech. That's the important bit.

And there isn't a word of it. Not a single word.

I am not told overwhelmed with surprise. Well, aren't you?

Well, I mean the times has never reported anything any of us have said or done, Todie.

Well, of course they haven't reported anything you've said. You never said anything important.

That's nice. No, no, no, no. I don't really insult you. But I mean, well, who do you have?

And if you had, well, Tod wouldn't have heard it because he'd have been too busy talking.

Yes, exactly. You see, Mo? Imagine those words.

Oh, I see.

Well, you can mock all you like. Doesn't matter anyway because from now on things are going to be different.

Oh, how different, Tod?

From now on my activities. That's to say the activities of those who live around here are going to be reported in the times every week.

But how? I mean, why should we have our names in the paper?

Because, Mo, my friend, it will be my paper.

What? You mean you're going to buy the times from Lord North.

No, no, of course I'm not going to buy the old times.

Who wants to buy a paper that doesn't mention me?

Oh, no.

I'm going to start my own paper.

What? Yes.

The riverbank and Wildwood Times.

I don't believe it.

Yes. But Tod, newspapers have to have an editor.

Yes. I am the editor.

Not to mention reporters.

I am the reporter.

And printers.

It is all under control.

There is even going to be an international distribution system in terms of that.

Well, well, distribution system. What sort of system?

Distributors? Who? How many?

Distributor? Who?

Billy Rabbit?

Oh, Tod.

Don't, oh, Tod, me.

My paper will be famous.

Anyone my paper mentions will be famous.

I shall be famous.

Just you wait and see.

The very next morning I was off to London to purchase a little Marvel.

One of the very best printing presses that money can buy.

With my mechanical skills, it took little time to install the prep.

Taboo toggle.

What's a drafty double toggle?

And connect its electromotor to degenerate the investment.

Ah! Oh! Oh!

Oh, no, not again. It's hard to load again. Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Bob and Blue!

Oh! Stupid! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

And so it was with everything running smoothly.

I was ready to begin my life as a publisher and journalist.

Oh, come on, Alfred. Something must have happened.

Nope. What about haystack fires?

Hmm? Haven't been any haystack fires?

Nope.

That's an absolute waste of time.

I said it would be.

You'll never be famous at this rate.

Oh, I?

Don't you want to be famous?

Nope.

Oh! Oh, well.

It's here, there.

I shall terminate the interview.

Good. Good.

And good-bye.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! It's a rat!

Ah!

Straight from the horse's mouth.

Oh-oh! He's probably good there.

Hmm.

From our agricultural correspondent.

One of the most powerful figures on the agricultural scene today denied

when questioned by our reporter that he had played any part in the burning of local haystacks.

Mmm. Further pressed. He was reluctant to discuss any suggestion that royalty might be in bow.

Oh! Yes! Excellent!

Oh! That'll get him queuing up to bite.

Mmm!

And the magical beauty of the Taj Mahal.

It would be in 67-68.

I first saw it. I remember...

That got. How do you spell...

Grand Jipoa.

Grand Jipoa? That was ten minutes ago.

When there were still three buttered scones on the plate.

Yes, over. Yes. Well, I didn't quite...

You mean to say. You haven't noticed anything I've said since then?

Well, I mean if you will throw in all these foreign names...

I thought you wanted to write about my days in India.

Well, yes.

And India's a foreign place?

I knew that, Badger.

But...

I told you're wasting my time.

Oh, oh, but...

Nearly as much as you're wasting your own river bank times indeed.

Oh. Towed all times.

I thought you said it was going to be...

Well, well, yes, yes, it was.

I thought toad all times was more well...

Refined more, intellectual.

Tough.

Bob.

I should never have encouraged your foolish vanity.

Well...

Really?

We don't need a newspaper to tell us what we know already.

And we don't need toad to get it all wrong anyway.

Well, if that's how you feel, I shod over you any longer.

Good.

And when no one's ever heard of you...

Don't blame me.

Good-bye.

I shall return to my offices.

Offices?

You won't want that last scone, will you?

No!

My chu-voo, my jovar!

There's no denying.

I've got a flab of this stuff.

Woohoo! Wait till that stuff's on the streets!

Read all about it!

Read all about it!

Famously for the attack!

You need the mystery reveal!

Get your turn all the time!

Read all about it!

Read all about it!

Come on, read all about it!

And I've lived here ever since.

Ever since.

Oh, Toad! I don't think you should...

Look merely just leave the reporting to me.

Well, of course, but...

And think of the most exciting thing that ever happened.

Well, um...

Oh, who do you?

That's exciting.

Um...

Oh!

Ah!

Yes, I did once win second prize for my Goodbury Jam at the annual Flash Show.

Josh, no!

I bet the world can't wait to hear about that.

No.

Sorry.

Oh, I suppose I'll just have to take this little oughta win!

Look, the magic of the wordsmith around it.

I mean...

I said...

I said my notebook.

It...

Aye, stop to the table!

I did try to stop you, Toad.

It's covered in syrup.

Syrup! Syrup!

Ah!

Oh, I say now, not my notebook, my story.

Sorry, Toad.

Now what am I going to do?

Two long times!

We don't have any famous writers who are destroyed!

We don't have any Get Your Food or Time!

No, no, no, Ratty. That's absolutely hopeless.

No, what do you want, Toad?

For goodness sake, I want action adventure.

Robot!

This is supposed to be a front page, bitch.

A horrible, dramatic rescue from a raging torrent.

Not my fault if there isn't a ripple, Toad.

Well, use your imagination.

I don't think newspapers were about imagination.

I thought they were about the truth.

Nothing of the sort, Ratty.

No one's going to buy my paper if all it's got is the to root, I see.

No, try rocking the boat a bit and I'll move a bit closer.

Oh, all right.

Better, I'll try a bit nearer.

Oh, no, Toad, I don't think...

Keep rocking, keep rocking.

I'm trying to look alarmed.

Oh, that's good, wonderful.

Told it! Told it!

Oh, no!

Oh!

Help!

Read all about it!

Told all times! Read all about it!

Famous photographer in the river, it's you, babe!

Read all about it! Read all about it!

Well, thanks, Moose, to awfully, chief.

I'll see if I can make something out of it.

Very nice of you, Mr Toad. Very nice.

And now I must get off in pursuit of the day's event.

Of course.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr Toad.

Goodbye.

Well, I think it'll make a very good story.

Very good.

What story is that, chief?

Well, newspaper owner loses family heirloom

in daring robbery.

Muh-huh.

And chief is Andalba Clump.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

There are times! Read all about it!

Lord Toad, it's been running, and she didn't!

Read all about it! Get to know all times!

Read all about it!

At last!

At last!

Ready for page one of, the Toad all time!

Ready for the launch of the world's greatest newspaper!

I'll give him waste of time!

Now, ink rollers, ink,

that's an in-place,

electro-motor! Ready to go!

Then let the pressies roll!

This one!

Hiccup!

Ah!

Hiccup, try.

Oh my gosh!

onsogged!

This is so big!

Sc spice here!

DF!

The duck and Mr Carnist!

Oh!

Oh, the first love very first.

Yes, Sime-t-la-dout, noit-eyed serif.

Sime-t-la-dout.

What the... Sime-t-la-dout.

What is Sime-t-la?

Oh, no.

Come, Erm, Erm, Erm, Erm, old rat, and double rat it has.

Hmm, it's all back to front.

Ah! The stupid thing.

Oh! Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Stupid thing.

Oh! Oh!

Ah! Ah!

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Oh!

Please, please, stop!

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!

Oh, they're weak, instruction-b

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Thinking about tomorrow's edition, I am.

Er, no, I am not.

Ah! Still thinking about the first edition, eh?

Thank you, Badger. I do not wish to discuss it.

Oh!

Dear me.

Not tired of being a press baton already.

Yes, yes, yes, Badger. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Now kindly go away.

Oh, dear.

Er, more company.

On the river.

Morning, Badger.

Morning, Badger.

Morning.

Hello, Toad.

Hello, Toady.

Hmm.

We've got news for you, Toad.

Oh, Shavov.

Don't you mean off Shavov?

Hehehehe.

No, we really have got news.

Yes, looks as if you've achieved your ambition.

What?

What do you mean?

You're in the Times, Toady.

You mean there's an article about Toad in the Times.

Hmm?

Hmm? That's right, Badger.

I-I-I say, isn't it?

Isn't the peerage, is it?

It isn't the house of lords?

Er, not exactly.

Well, what did she say? What did she say?

Er, er, just a minute.

Ah, here we are.

Countries square in publishing fiasco.

I say then.

An attempt by an unheard of publisher.

Er, no.

To produce a rival journal to our own has ended in disaster.

Oh, what?

Ignorant of printing techniques.

Ignorant?

The entire first edition was printed backwards.

Hmm.

We send our condolences and say colloquially.

This bit's jolly good, Toad.

Listen.

Quickly.

Time next, luck better.

Time next, luck better.

It's a joke, you see, Toad.

Oh.

Oh.

It's better luck next time.

Backwards.

LAUGHTER

Oh!

LAUGHTER

Oh!

Trag, Trag!

LAUGHTER

The clever man that Oxford knew all was to be knew,

but none of them knew half as much as intelligent Mr. Toad.

The animals that hid in the arms and tears in torrents knew,

who was he said there's land ahead, Mr. Toad.

MUSIC

The world has held eight heroes, as his people sent you.

But never a name went down to fame compared with that of Toad.

Intelligent Mr. Toad.

A carriaging Mr. Toad.

MUSIC