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1
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,842
♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,345
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,348
[rock music]
4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:21,555
♪ ♪
5
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,968
The floor sucks.
6
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:38,139
[chuckles]
7
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,708
Okay, we're running
a new promo campaign
8
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,876
for the new
ciabatta maple burger,
9
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,813
so we need somebody to stand
out in front in this costume
10
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:48,882
and say,
"Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone."
11
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,419
[chuckles]
That's the dumbest thing
12
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:53,354
I ever saw.
- Oh, cool.
13
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,756
I wanna wear the hamburger--
14
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,491
head.
- Great, it fits.
15
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,561
Now, get in the bathroom and
put the rest of the costume on.
16
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,597
Uh, okay.
[chuckles]
17
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,798
[loud crash]
18
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:07,468
Um, sir?
19
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,436
I wanted to wear
the hamburger--
20
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,037
You keep mopping this floor.
21
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:13,607
Okay, but, um, later, is it
okay if I wear the hamburger--
22
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,577
Let's meet our team goals
today, all right?
23
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,012
Ugh, yeah, okay, yeah.
24
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,150
This sucks.
25
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,754
[chuckles]
This sucks.
26
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,622
[chuckles]
- Hey, look,
27
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,191
it's, like, Hamburger Man.
28
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,360
Uh, welcome to, like,
29
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,562
the Ciabatta Zone or something.
30
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,664
[laughs]
Take my picture with him.
31
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:40,168
Uh, whoa, hi, baby.
[laughter]
32
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,703
- Now it's my turn.
- Ooh, yeah, baby.
33
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,806
[laughter]
Come to my Ciabatta Zone.
34
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,310
Hey!
35
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,179
[camera shutter clicking]
36
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,581
Can we take a picture where
I'm sitting in your lap?
37
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,616
Uh, yeah.
[chuckles]
38
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,586
The Ciabatta Zone kicks ass.
39
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,788
[laughter]
- Okay, one more.
40
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,290
[somber music]
41
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,624
Look, I'm Mrs. Hamburger.
42
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,626
[laughter]
43
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,930
Ooh, yeah.
[chuckles]
44
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,366
This guy gets it.
45
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,236
♪ I'm about to pull up,
hit switch ♪
46
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:18,406
Boy,
when Post Malone smokes,
47
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,773
he smokes.
48
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,209
♪ Now I gotta resurface ♪
49
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:25,846
And smokes and smokes.
[chuckles]
50
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:29,116
Yeah,
he just smokes the bejesus
51
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:31,852
out of those cigarettes, yeah.
[chuckles]
52
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,288
When Post Malone
smokes a cigarette,
53
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:37,090
that cigarette knows
it's been smoked.
54
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,960
[chuckles]
55
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,729
[chuckles]
If you're a cigarette
56
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,397
and you see
Post Malone coming,
57
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,499
you can kiss
your butt goodbye.
58
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,468
[chuckles]
59
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,337
♪ With a warrant ♪
60
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,572
Pretty soon, he's gonna
have to have one of those
61
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,241
throat-voice box things,
62
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,376
where you have a hole
in your throat.
63
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,810
Yeah, then he'll
probably sound like,
64
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,112
you know--
well, I mean,
65
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,114
maybe he'll probably
sound the same, you know?
66
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,584
Just like this, you know?
[chuckles]
67
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:04,785
♪ Flushin' something
down the toilet ♪
68
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,820
[raps gibberish]
69
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,422
♪ Toilet ♪
70
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,623
[chuckles]
71
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,959
Uh, wait a minute,
72
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,794
maybe he's had one of those
all along.
73
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:14,962
[chuckles]
74
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,264
Oh, yeah, yeah,
75
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,165
that's why he's wearing
that turtleneck.
76
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,700
♪ And I been
waiting so long ♪
77
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,835
You know, I used to think
smoking was really cool
78
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,471
until you get that hole
in your throat,
79
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,473
but now
he's even made that cool.
80
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,641
[chuckles]
81
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,643
Yep.
[chuckles]
82
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,313
He kicks ass.
[chuckles]
83
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,548
But he also
gets tired really fast.
84
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,983
[chuckles]
85
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:38,486
And that's why he sounds
all lazy when he sings.
86
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,488
[chuckles]
87
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:43,991
He's like,
"Ugh, my back, ugh."
88
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,959
[chuckles]
"You take it for a minute,
89
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,028
"Roddy Ricch.
90
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:51,499
I am exhausted."
[chuckles]
91
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:55,202
[groans]
"I just need to sit down
92
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,305
and have a cigarette, yeah."
93
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,839
[chuckles]
94
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,041
"Yeah, I've been
working real hard smoking.
95
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,711
I'm gonna have
a little smoke break here."
96
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:06,079
[chuckles]
- Yup, the best time
97
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,716
to have a cigarette
is right after a cigarette.
98
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,319
[chuckles]
99
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,220
He's like--
"[sighs]
100
00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:15,789
I'm glad we shot
this video in an IKEA."
101
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,325
[chuckles]
102
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,693
"Plenty of places
to sit down and smoke."
103
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,228
[chuckles]
104
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,897
♪ And I been
waiting so long ♪
105
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,533
♪ Now I gotta resurface ♪
106
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,067
Look at that old guy
down at the bottom,
107
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,836
trying to weasel
into the party.
108
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,471
[chuckles]
109
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:33,607
Uh, I think that's,
like, his doctor.
110
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,943
He's trying to dance his way up
to Post Malone
111
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,547
to tell him he only
has six weeks to live.
112
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:42,350
Like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah,
hey, everybody, yeah.
113
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,353
"Hey, Post, can I talk
to you for a minute?
114
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,555
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's kind of important."
115
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:50,824
[chuckles]
116
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,225
Yeah, he's like,
117
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,528
"Uh, Roddy Ricch,
can you tell Post Malone
118
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,763
to come over here
for a minute?"
119
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,164
[chuckles]
- [chuckles]
120
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,132
"Post!
Post, the X-rays
121
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,534
"don't look good.
I need to talk to you
122
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,635
right now."
123
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,170
[chuckles]
124
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,539
Well, never mind.
He'll find out soon enough.
125
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,375
[chuckles]
126
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,543
Yeah,
nothing we can do anyway.
127
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,678
[chuckles]
128
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,615
[chuckles]
129
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:17,418
And then this other chick
came by, and she's all,
130
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,220
"What's up, Hamburger Man?"
[chuckles]
131
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,689
Uh-huh.
[chuckles]
132
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,957
And then her friend
gave me a hug,
133
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,259
and I think the friend
was a chick too.
134
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:29,096
But I can't really see too good
out of my lettuce.
135
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,399
[chuckles]
- That's great, Butt-Head.
136
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:33,401
Good for you.
[chuckles]
137
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:36,069
And then this girl
accidentally sat on my hand,
138
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,406
like, with her butt.
[chuckles]
139
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,541
And she was only sitting
on the foam part,
140
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,943
but it kind of looked
like I got some.
141
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,413
[chuckles]
142
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,314
I'm glad you're having
such a good time, Butt-Head.
143
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,049
[chuckles]
- It's just too bad
144
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:52,119
that when I'm in the suit,
the chicks can't see my face,
145
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,787
or I bet they'd like me
even more.
146
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,056
[chuckles]
147
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,558
Yeah, Butt-Head, um,
148
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,660
I just wanted to ask if
maybe sometime I could wear--
149
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,429
I'm gonna wear this suit
every day
150
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,431
until the end of time, Beavis.
151
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:06,266
[chuckles]
I will never take it off.
152
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,436
[chuckles]
Except sometimes,
153
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:11,739
I will unzip it so the chicks
can see my Ciabatta Zone.
154
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:15,075
[chuckles]
Yeah, I see.
155
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,276
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
156
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,479
[chuckles]
You see, my Ciabatta Zone
157
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,713
is actually my--
- I know
158
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,148
what your Ciabatta Zone is,
Butt-Head.
159
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,616
[chuckles]
160
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,718
It's my wiener.
[chuckles]
161
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,687
Yeah, yeah.
162
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,623
Well, it's time for the two
of us to get to work.
163
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,925
[chuckles]
- Are we working today?
164
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:35,596
I was talking about me
and the costume, butthole.
165
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,998
Now, zip me up.
[chuckles]
166
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,333
Eh, okay.
[chuckles]
167
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,772
Stay in school or something.
168
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,975
[chuckles]
See you in the Ciabatta Zone.
169
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,343
[chuckles]
170
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:53,380
[somber music]
171
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:56,316
Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone.
[chuckles]
172
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,218
Don't do drugs--or something.
173
00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,153
[chuckles]
- Hey, Butt-Head.
174
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,222
[striking dramatic note]
175
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,724
[chuckles]
176
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:04,925
And look,
177
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,060
I made my own costume.
Check it out.
178
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,496
[chuckles]
179
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:11,565
What the hell are you
supposed to be, dumbass?
180
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,300
[chuckles]
- I'm, like, pizza.
181
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,868
[chuckles]
182
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,937
You can't just stand
in front of Burger World
183
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,039
dressed as pizza.
184
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,841
Yes, I can.
[chuckles]
185
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,310
Welcome to the pizza.
186
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,513
Wait, um, the--the, um--
187
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,615
the Pizza World of Ciabatta--
188
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,717
what--wait, what is it again?
[chuckles]
189
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,319
Dude, it's 2021.
190
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,755
Imagine what life
is gonna be like in 2025.
191
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:39,226
"Where is--where--where--what
is Ryan at 40 gonna be doing
192
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,360
on a Tuesday?"
193
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,430
Wait, um, who's Ryan?
194
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,766
Uh, he's Ryan.
195
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,267
- Hey, my name is Ryan.
- He's doing that thing
196
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,569
where he talks about himself.
197
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,838
"What is Ryan gonna be
doing on a Tuesday?"
198
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,873
[chuckles]
- You know, I think, um--
199
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,742
Think I might start doing that,
you know?
200
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:57,545
I mean, I think Beavis
might do that, yeah.
201
00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,213
You know, in 2025,
I think Beavis is gonna be
202
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,249
spanking his monkey
more than ever--
203
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:05,252
[chuckles]
Yeah, on a Tuesday.
204
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,888
Yeah, and maybe
Wednesday, Thursday.
205
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,056
[chuckles]
206
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,691
'Cause you know,
the day I get to--I mean,
207
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,026
the day Beavis gets tired
of spanking my--I mean,
208
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:16,263
the day Beavis gets tired
of spanking Beavis' monkey
209
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:19,232
then, um, you know,
he's just not Beavis anymore.
210
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,401
[chuckles]
211
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,804
SERHANT Studios?
[chuckles]
212
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:27,040
No, I think
it's SERHANT SERHANT.
213
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,843
Isn't he the guy that
assassinated the president?
214
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,212
[chuckles]
- [chuckles]
215
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,081
You said "ass."
216
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,282
[both chuckle]
217
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,750
Yeah.
218
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,085
Yeah, I said it twice, actually.
219
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,587
[chuckles]
220
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:42,189
SERHANT SERHANT ass-ass-inated
the president.
221
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,657
By 7:45.
222
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:47,027
Uh, I didn't know you knew
about history, Beavis.
223
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,195
[chuckles]
224
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,665
Uh, mostly just gun stuff,
you know?
225
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,601
[chuckles]
That's about it.
226
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,168
So I know we did
this daily routine video
227
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,404
a little while ago,
but my life has changed--
228
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,506
namely, I'm now a dad,
229
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,742
and I'm a CEO.
230
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,844
Whoa.
He's way more excited
231
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,379
about being a CEO
than he is about being a dad.
232
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,881
Let's go.
233
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,449
Well, it's not his fault.
234
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,051
His baby sucks.
235
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,386
[chuckles]
236
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,089
Yeah, you know,
they're not all good, you know?
237
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:19,092
I mean, who needs dads anyway,
you know?
238
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,628
We don't.
239
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,362
We turned out just fine.
240
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:24,331
[chuckles]
- [chuckles]
241
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,634
[percussive beat]
242
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,435
[sarcastically laughs]
243
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,639
"It's not all serious here
at SERHANT SERHANT.
244
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,874
We like to have
a little fun too."
245
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,843
"You can't take yourself
too seriously in life,
246
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,277
you know?"
[chuckles]
247
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,313
"Unless you're me,
Ryan SERHANT SERHANT,
248
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,116
two-time New York Douchebag
of the Year."
249
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,553
[both chuckle]
250
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,889
Everybody here
has a story to tell,
251
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,692
and everyone here
is an important piece.
252
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,695
[chuckles]
I hate Ryan.
253
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,163
[chuckles]
254
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,198
Brand.
255
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,001
This is, like, pepperoni,
256
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,036
and this is
a sausage or something,
257
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,873
and the cone is something else
they put on pizza.
258
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,540
I don't know,
it's, like, fruit or something.
259
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,942
[chuckles]
260
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,511
Welcome Ciabatta Pizza.
261
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,715
Yeah, uh,
we don't have any change.
262
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,349
Yeah, this sucks.
[chuckles]
263
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,953
Pizza sucks.
Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone.
264
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,223
Hey, man, did you touch
Angela Dattilo's butt yesterday
265
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,725
with that dumbass glove?
266
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,460
Uh, yeah, I sure did.
267
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,529
[chuckles]
268
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,399
Well, her boyfriend's on his
way here to kick your ass.
269
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,134
Uh,
270
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,368
really?
271
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,370
Hmm.
[chuckles]
272
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,373
Welcome to Pizza.
Do you know what a zone is?
273
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,777
[chuckles]
274
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,578
Uh, Beavis,
275
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,515
I've decided to let you
wear the hamburger costume.
276
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,350
[chuckles]
- Oh, really, Butt-Head?
277
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:53,320
You're gonna let me wear
the hamburger, for real?
278
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,654
Yes, Beavis.
279
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,825
I know you've wanted this
for a long time.
280
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,728
Now hurry up and put it on
as fast as you can
281
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,095
before I change my mind.
282
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,064
Whoa.
Yeah, yeah.
283
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,234
Yeah, this is pretty cool, yeah.
284
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,737
I'm in the Ciabatto Zone.
[chuckles]
285
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,438
Keep it on for a long time.
286
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,540
[chuckles]
287
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,142
[humming]
288
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,443
♪ Ciabatta ♪
- Hey, you.
289
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,911
Where's that Hamburger Man?
290
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,814
He's right that way, sir.
[chuckles]
291
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,816
Hey, Hamburger Man!
292
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:23,917
Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone.
293
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,118
Touch her butt, man?
294
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,787
[grunts]
- Wanna take a picture?
295
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,121
Wait--hey, wait a minute.
296
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,422
I think he's kicking my ass.
297
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,258
- This is what you get.
- Butt-Head, help.
298
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,592
[chuckles]
[punches thudding]
299
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,827
I can't see.
Is that a chick?
300
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,295
- [chuckles]
- Hey, cut it out!
301
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,529
Hey!
Ow.
302
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,098
[screams]
Ow!
303
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:40,968
You wanted
to be the hamburger,
304
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,870
and I wanted to see you
get your ass kicked.
305
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,371
[chuckles]
306
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,572
Everyone wins.
307
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,340
Pretty cool, yeah.
308
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,575
It was a great day.
309
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,610
It sure was, yeah,
310
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,846
and some guy said he's gonna
send the video to WorldStar.
311
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,114
[chuckles]
312
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,916
Not too bad, yeah.
[chuckles]
313
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,185
Not bad at all.
[chuckles]
314
00:11:58,185 --> 00:12:00,353
I miss when this couch
had cushions though, you know?
315
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:01,688
[chuckles]
316
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,390
I'll kick your ass
about that another time,
317
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,926
Beavis.
For now, let's just
318
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:07,660
enjoy this moment.
319
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:13,100
[rock music plays]
320
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,004
[military music]
321
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:22,575
♪ ♪
322
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:26,213
So there I was,
trapped behind enemy lines,
323
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,615
pinned down
in a Korean farmhouse
324
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,451
by 50 Commie soldiers--
325
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:35,889
just me and three of my
brothers in the Marine Corps,
326
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:39,459
and let's not forget
a brave Korean farmer
327
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,395
by the name of Hon-yong.
328
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:45,398
[gunshots firing]
329
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,071
Hon-yong, I don't know
who fixed this for you
330
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,673
the last time, but oh, boy--
331
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,443
I ought to be able
to just clean out the P trap
332
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,878
and the pop-out drain,
333
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:01,548
but this one here is
a 1 1/2 inch galvanized,
334
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:05,485
and this one--well,
that there is metric.
335
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,855
[sighs]
Well, that's one way to do it.
336
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:10,257
- I'm running out of ammo!
- There's more of them coming!
337
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:13,460
[gunshots firing]
- [grunts]
338
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,462
- [speaks Korean]
- Yeah, I bet the last guy
339
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,630
told you he could
save you a few won
340
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,500
if you just used whatever
he had in the truck.
341
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:24,104
Well, I always say
there's nothing more expensive
342
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,739
than saving a little money
on home maintenance.
343
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,108
[bullet dings]
344
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,978
Okay, Hon-yong, where's
the main water shutoff
345
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,379
to the house?
346
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,680
[gunshots firing]
347
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,215
Hon-yong?
348
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,120
Well, it ought to be
by the water heater--
349
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,188
usually is.
350
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,722
[bullets thud]
- [grunts]
351
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,360
And that's exactly
where it was.
352
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,330
But I bet you wanna hear
the rest of the story--
353
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,565
how the idiot
who fixed that sink
354
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:56,269
screwed up the T and P valve
on the water heater.
355
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,939
If Hon-yong
wasn't already dead,
356
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,408
he could've been
seriously burned.
357
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:05,745
But that's a tale for the next
"Tom Anderson's War Stories."
358
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,514
♪ ♪
25516
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