All language subtitles for Lucifer_S03E15_High School Poppycock.English (CC)

Lucifer, I'm here.

Are you ready?

Lucifer?

[chuckling] Why is it so dark in here?

What? [sighs]

Lucifer?

Lucifer?

-[Lucifer] Detective.
-[gasps]

There's been a
change of plan, I'm not going.

What? But we have a case.

Something's happened. Please leave.

Wait, what's happened? Are you okay?

I can't...

I can't make them go away.

Lucifer, what's on your back?

Detective, I said, leave!

[gasps]

-What's going on?
-[straining] I can't...

I can't control them!

-[yells]
-[screams]

No! Detective!

[whimpering]

Detective!

Detective, grab my hand!

Detective.

-No! No! No!
-[screams] No!

[screams]

And then I woke up.

And it's not the
sort of dream I'm used to.

A lot less nudity.

[breathes deeply]
So what do you think it means?

Well, I think it's pretty obvious
what it means, Lucifer.

That... I need sturdier guard rails?

Or maybe there is
some symbolism in there.

You mean my wings, don't you?

Yes, well, clearly you have issues.

Well, you would too if your father
slapped a pair on your back.

Took away your devil face.
Took away who you are.

I mean, who knows what else
he'll take from me.

Lux.

-Job with the LAPD.
-Or Chloe.

Well, she may be part of it,

but this isn't about her.
This is about me.

So can we please just
focus on what truly matters here?

Which is?

Showing my father
that he can't control me.

He's not as powerful as he thinks.

-And how are you going to do that?
-By defying him.

I'm gonna remove
Pierce's immortal curse,

so he can finally die.

-There's... Just one problem there.
-Just one?

[sighs] Everything that I've come up with,
Pierce has already tried.

I'm completely out of ideas.

My well is dry, and that

is why I'm here.

Yep, well...

Not sure I know
how to remove an immortal's curse.

[chuckles] No!

I need you to remove my mental block.

Hypnotize me or something.

I hear it works
with smoking and insomnia, so...

[clears throat]

Unfortunately, that's not
how it works, Lucifer.

There's no
easy fix for a lack of ideas.

-No?
-No.

You just have to be patient.

You never know when or where
inspiration will strike.

Well, thank you, Doctor.

For being completely unhelpful today.

-[door shuts]
-[sighs]

[cell phone rings]

-Ah.
-[beeps]

Hi, Amenadiel.

Hey, Ella.

Um... [clears throat]

Listen, about tonight...
I'm gonna have to...

No.

[laughs] No, you better not be
canceling on me again.

I know, I'm so sorry.
It's... I have so much work to do.

Can't you play hooky?

Not if I wanna be
a responsible adult.

Right. But...

What if you weren't
a responsible adult?

Just this once.

[laughs] Come on!

Chloe, I mean, don't you ever miss

just having stupid fun,
like when you were a kid?

I was a pretty grown-up kid actually.

Well, never too late to start.

I know. I'm sorry, babe. I can't.

Can we do a neon-party rain check?

Decker, one of these days

you're gonna realize
what you've been missing.

Looks so cute on you.

[scoffs]

[indistinct radio chatter]

This is the longest you've
ever gone without talking. Ever.

-Is something on your mind?
-Nothing. That's the problem.

How so?

[sighs]

I have this puzzle that I need
to solve but I've had a mental block.

-Okay.
-Have you ever just ran out of ideas

when working
a particularly difficult case?

No, I mean,
before I came along of course.

[chuckles] Right.

Um...

Not really.

I mean, I've hit dead ends
from lack of evidence,

but no, because there is
always a new angle to consider.

Braggart.

[sighs]

[camera clicks]

[Dan] Our victim's name
is Kathleen Pike, 33.

She's the author of a best-selling
futuristic YA series called...

Class of 3001.

She was found with her head bashed in
by her own vintage typewriter.

The irony is a little on the nose,
or on the head, should I say?

[Chloe] What's that white stuff?

I know what you guys are thinking,
"She's a synthetic."

Aliens, the android
who bled white... [vocalizing]

No one? Really?

Never mind.
That's melted ice cream anyway.

It looks like our victim
was about to dig in last night

when someone showed up and rewrote
her dessert menu with that typewriter.

Real wound's over here though.

Huh. Who found the body?

Kathleen's editor, Vincent Green.
He's out by the pool.

[sighs]

Um, Daniel...

-Your head is mostly empty.
-Huh.

Exactly, and yet
you manage to do this improv thing.

How do you come up with stuff
on the spot like that?

Well, the first rule of improv
is, "Yes, and."

Yes and what?

That's the name of the technique.

Right. I've heard you
talk about it before,

but I don't actually
understand what it means.

Well, you agree with
whatever is being said, "Yes."

And you say the first thing
that comes to your mind, "And."

That makes no sense.

[sighs] I'm desperate.
So I'll try anything.

Yes, and...

I got the call from Kathleen
late last night.

She finally finished the new book.

We made plans for me
to come over this morning,

pick up the manuscript.

Do you usually pick up
manuscripts in person?

With Kathleen, yes.

There's only ever one hard copy since

she does all her writing
on that typewriter.

Yes, and... Well, her dying
on that typewriter as well, it seems.

[Chloe] Do you know anyone
who would have done this to her?

Any known enemies?

No, Kathleen was extremely well-liked.
She had millions of devoted fans.

[scoffs] I know how fans can
get obsessed with their idols.

Yes, and... With their boobs.

Like after you did
Hot Tub High School, Detective.

Oh. Uh-huh.

You don't think
this could be my fault, do you?

Why?

I was so excited
that she was finished

that I tweeted the news to her fans.

I really talked the book up,

hinting at this huge action-packed
robot rebellion ending

she'd teased me with.

Well, as long as you didn't
tweet her address as well.

No, of course not,
but someone could find it.

Someone who
wanted to read the book first?

Yes, and... Someone
who wanted to tell her that

robot rebellions couldn't be
more dull and derivative.

What is with all this
"yes and" stuff?

Some improv thing I was hoping

would knock me out
of my idea dry spell.

But you're literally just saying
what you'd normally say

with the words
"yes and" in front of it.

Yes, and... It's clearly not working.

Stupid Daniel.

Idea dry spell. Just like Kathleen.

What do you mean?

She had the worse case
of writer's block I've ever seen.

Took her five years to figure out
how to end the series.

Well, never mind that.
How did she cure her block?

I don't know. She said
I'd understand after I read it.

Said she even explained
how she broke through it in the

-book's afterword.
-But you haven't read it?

No, like I said, there is only
one copy and I haven't seen it.

Detective, this
afterword could explain

how to overcome
my own form of writer's block.

-What?
-We need to find it.

The killer?

You mean, we need to find the killer?

Exactly. So they can
hand over that book.

Mmm.

Linda, I have to say...

These last few weeks
have been absolutely incredible.

Wow.

You're really good at
this sweet sappy stuff, aren't you?

[both laugh]

-I feel the same.
-Good.

Well...

Maybe someday we can actually
have this date in public.

[laughing]

[sighs]

I do hate sneaking around,
but Maze...

I know. I know, she can't find out.

[sighs]

I want to tell her.
I just don't know how.

I admit,

-I'm afraid.
-Well, you should be.

Maze would not take this well.

I feel so guilty that

I've been avoiding her calls.

-Are we being cowards?
-Yes.

-But Linda, it's Maze.
-Maze.

[chuckles]

-Do you know how she's doing?
-I'm sure she's fine.

Busy hunting bounties and all.

But...

I can check on her
if that'll make you feel better.

Really?

-Just to make sure she's okay.
-Of course.

I would do anything for you.

What? That too sappy?

[Lucifer] "Max was plagued with confusion.

If Jessica truly loved him
then why'd she kiss Tristan?

And in the back seat
of her flying car, no less."

This has sold millions of copies.

Tongueless kissing and stealing
liquor from their parents, I mean...

Where's the sex? The drugs?

That robot rebellion
cannot come soon enough.

Was your high school experience
this pathetically PG?

I didn't have much
of a high school experience.

Oh? Played hooky a lot, did you?
Suddenly I like you more.

No, child actors don't have much time

for regular school.
You're either auditioning or on sets.

So it's mostly tutors.

Maybe I did miss out on a lot.

Hey, why are you reading those?

I doubt that's gonna
lead us to Kathleen's killer.

Oh, well, Kathleen's afterword explains
how she overcame her writer's block.

In order to understand,
I may need context.

-Oh, in case she uses examples?
-Exactly.

So, speaking of the killer.
Any leads?

Yeah, actually.

Someone who goes
by the name of Ashley3001Fan.

Got into some pretty heated
online arguments with Kathleen.

Apparently, she wasn't too happy

the book was
taking so long to be completed.

Poor Kathleen.

When will people understand writer's
block is a very serious condition?

Well, Kathleen agreed.

[Lucifer] "I don't have to answer
to ignorant trolls like you.

There's a reason
I'm the writer and you're a fan.

Maybe you should try
contributing something to society."

-Ouch. Nicely put, Kathleen.
-Yeah.

After Kathleen
publicly berated her,

Ashley went completely offline.

You think Ashley
was so humiliated by her hero

that she wanted revenge?

It's possible.

Well, let's hope so,
'cause I need to find that book--

Killer. The killer.

I know you mean "book."

I did.

[knocking on door]

-Hey, Amenadiel.
-Hey, Trixie.

Uh, is Maze here?

-Sorry, no.
-No?

Would you mind telling her
that I stopped by, please?

-Sure.
-Thanks.

Nice work, Trix.

Why don't you want to see him?
Amenadiel's nice.

"Nice"?

If he were nice, he wouldn't be

sneaking around
behind my back with my friend.

And lying about it.

-Why are they doing that?
-I don't know. 'Cause they suck.

Mommy says that sometimes people are
just scared to tell the truth.

Maybe they need a little help.

That's not a bad idea, kid.

[chuckles]

Helping people to
tell the truth is kind of my thing.

Huh.

I cyber-traced
Ashley3001Fan to here.

And the ice cream from
the crime scene, also from here.

-Ashley could be one of these three.
-[Lucifer] Yes.

They do seem
like the insipid YA type.

Though, scooping frozen treats
for others

day in and day out
seems even more boring.

[Chloe] Yeah, but they get to hang out
with their friends.

There's no adult responsibility.

It looks like they're having fun.

You know, stupid fun.

Since when do you like stupid fun?

Hi. Detective Decker, LAPD.

I'd like to ask you all some...

-Freeze.
-[chuckles] "Freeze." Good one.

Please. Please, don't call my mom.

It's just one joint.

Claire, what's going on?

Claire? You're not Ashley?

No, I'm Ashley.

[Lucifer] Ashley's a man.

Yeah, I'm a man.

And I'm the manager. What's going on?

What's going on, Ashley,
is you need to give me that book.

Otherwise, I'll show you
the true meaning

of "you scream for ice cream."

Okay?

All right.

[Lucifer] I'm gonna ask you nicely,
Ashley. Where is the book?

Dude, I'm telling you,
I don't have any book.

Then why was that
found at Kathleen Pike's home?

3000 and Yum. Yeah.

It's a flavor I created
special for Kathleen

and brought it
to her house personally.

Do you always bring ice cream
to your murder victims?

"Murder"?

Wait.

-Kathleen's dead?
-Very.

Man, she was the greatest writer
of our generation.

What?

Her books are
about high school drama.

What could a man of your age
possibly find great about them?

High school was
the best time of my life.

Reading 3001 makes me
feel like I'm 16 again.

And those books
are deeper than you think.

We know about your
online fight with Kathleen.

Things got very heated.

Must have hurt to have her insult
you like that in front of everybody.

I never should've said those things.

So I sent her some of my writing.
You know, like an olive branch.

Hold on. You are a writer?

Yeah, man. I've written like
tons of classic 3001 fan fiction.

Can't imagine that
Kathleen was too pleased.

Kathleen liked my writing.

She even asked me to
help her finish her last book.

She asked you to help?

So Kathleen's solution to
writer's block was to outsource?

Yeah, but when Kathleen
read my version

she decided she wanted
to go in a different direction.

But she said it did help her
finish her book on her own, so...

-Boom.
-It did? How?

What exactly helped Kathleen
overcome her block?

She told me, she realized
she needed to be more authentic.

You know, get back
to her original inspiration.

That is completely meaningless.

Well...

Well, what was the original inspiration?

Oh. You guys don't know?

So the characters in
Kathleen's books are based on real people.

[Dan] And all of her stories were taken
from her real life at Westside High,

right here in LA.

[Lucifer] Max. Jessica...

Isabel. She didn't even
change any of the first names.

Did she have
any original ideas at all?

Well, she changed the last names.

[Ella] And she did have to come up

with all that
futuristic sci-fi stuff.

I mean, trust me, that is not easy.

I'm actually writing my own book

about a forensic scientist
who talks to ghosts--

You are? Tell me, what did you do
when you run out of ideas?

I never run out of ideas.
I've got way too many.

My problem is how to choose.

There's no need to rub it in.
Thank you.

So this author exposed
all these people's dirty laundry?

Sounds like motive to me.

I think Charlotte--

Uh, Miss Richards is right.

If someone saw the editor's tweet
announcing another book

then maybe one of them killed her
to make sure it didn't come out.

Ella.

[Chloe] The main characters
from the Class of 3001.

If the book's gonna
reveal any secrets, it's theirs.

-These are our suspects.
-Right.

Prom king, sexpot,
cheerleader, bad boy,

valedictorian, jock.

One of these
six degenerates has my book.

-Let's bring them in.
-Yeah, all you have is speculation.

Not enough for arrest warrants.

Even if we did bring them all in,
we don't have any leverage.

Why would they admit to anything?

[Chloe] Well,
according to super-fan Ashley,

Kathleen was rushing
to get her book done in time

to announce it
at her high school reunion,

which is tomorrow night.

[Charlotte] All our suspects
are in town to attend.

Give them opportunity.

Mmm-hmm. And it gives us an
opportunity as well to go undercover.

Well, good. What are we waiting for?

Well, it's a high school reunion.
Everybody knows everybody.

Unless... You're Todd Cornwell.

-Who's Todd Cornwell?
-Exactly.

Todd Cornwell...

Class loner, acne,
Coke bottle glasses, whole bit.

Went to college overseas

and when I stalked
Kathleen's classmates online,

Todd was the only one
with zero social media presence.

Lucifer. You could go as Todd.

Yeah. No, seriously.
Look, he looks just like you.

Has all that masturbation finally
caught up with your eyesight, Daniel?

No one will believe that,
even if I tell them

I've had a face and body transplant.

Yeah. But it might be our only shot.
I mean, I could go as your plus one.

Oh, poops, hold up. Todd RSVP'd yes.

[sighs] Charlotte, is there any legal way
to prevent him from attending?

Well, it's definitely not legal
to distract Todd

with, say, a bounty hunter.

If anyone needs me,
I'm gonna be in my office,

not hearing the plan.

-Okay, great. Are you gonna call Maze?
-Gladly.

Whilst you research our suspects.

Enjoy.

Maze.

-I'm so glad you're here.
-Yeah, well...

You seem pretty busy.

You know, I called a couple of times.
Never heard back.

Yeah. I know, work's been crazy.

Oh.

I was hoping that
maybe you found a boyfriend.

-Boyfriend? Why would I...
-Yeah.

[chuckles]

Definitely no boyfriend.

-Really?
-Yep. So single. So...

So single.

Oh, in that case I should
totally set you up.

-I have just the guy.
-Oh, that is so thoughtful

of you, Maze, but you really
don't have to do that.

Please. Linda, I want to.

What are best friends for?

I know, it's just me and blind dates.

How about tomorrow night?

-Tomorrow night?
-Hmm.

Oh.

Shoot. I think I'm busy.

Let me do this.

Tomorrow it is.

[exclaiming]

No.

[gasps]

-[exclaims]
-[Trixie] Mom?

Baby, what are you doing up?
Get back in bed.

Bed? It's morning.

-I'm going to miss the bus.
-What?

[stuttering] I've been up all night?

Come on. Come on.

Go, go, go. Go, get your shoes.

Where's the...

[gasps]

Oh.

Wow!

You know, a high school reunion
is a very popular torture in hell.

This is beautiful.

You know, you didn't even try
to look like Todd.

Why would I do that? If I was Todd
I'd want to look like me.

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh, look.

It's Emily and Bo.
Tristan and Jessica.

And there's Max talking to Isabel.

She is so not
good enough for him, really.

[laughs] What did you just say?

[clears throat]
Max and Isabel, two of our suspects.

Oh. Oh.

The prom king and the sexpot.

Oh, Lucifer, don't judge.

There's so much more to these people

-than their stereotypes suggest.
-Right. [chuckles]

-It's just... [sighs]
-Are you being serious?

Yeah, the books are much deeper
than you'd imagine.

The characters are so compelling

and relatable and rich and...

They're all here.

And one of them
is mostly likely a killer.

-Right.
-Right.

Right. Okay, I'm gonna go sign us in

so that we can finally meet the, um...

So we can question suspects.

[Chloe giggles]

What is happening?

Okay, so we each have
three people to question.

Let's figure out who was worried
about Kathleen's book coming out.

Yes, and where everyone was
the night of the murder.

Oh, yeah.

-Are you even listening to me?
-Mmm-hmm.

You know, I can't believe
I'm saying this, but focus.

-Detective, I need that afterword.
-Right. Sorry.

-Oh, my God!
-What?

It's Jessica.

Can you believe in sophomore year
she hooked up with Tristan

on the laserball field? [exhales]

Don't worry, Jessica is on my list.

Okay, so I'm the first one here.

I'll just go have a drink at the bar.

-[waitress] Sure thing.
-Linda.

Amenadiel, what are you doing here?

[stutters] Maze invited me.

I thought she wanted to talk
after I stopped by yesterday.

Maze is setting me up
on a blind date.

What if you are my blind date?

Well, that doesn't make any sense.

Unless she knows about us
and is trying to make us squirm.

And torture is her thing.

[Maze] Linda.

This is Todd.

Your date.

Hello.

This is a blue lobelia.

Native Americans use them
to treat constipation.

Thank you.

[exhales]

But what are you two doing here?

Double date.

Isn't this great?

[chuckles nervously]

Uh... No.

I...

[indistinct chatter]

Excuse us. Isabel.

Todd? Odd Bod Todd?

I'm sorry.
You just look so different.

-I'll take that as a compliment.
-Wow.

Do you have a British accent?

Well, I've had many accents
over the years,

but this one is clearly the best.

[laughs]

You are so funny and so hot.

-[chuckles] I know.
-Mmm.

But I need to ask you
a few questions.

Sure. Let's catch up.

Can you believe Kathleen's coming out
with another book?

Oh, I believe it. That bitch loved
profiting off of us.

[groans] She sucks.

And honestly, we're all, uh,
just trying to move on.

Man, those books ruined our lives.

I had to move to Maine.

Do you know what was in her last book?

What sparked her final idea.

The books are about you, correct?

Oh, for...

[Chloe] So, do you know what happens
in the new book?

Are there any big secrets
that come out, or...

[gasps]
Does Isabel actually get pregnant?

Uh... Who are you again?

What were you doing
two nights ago?

Uh, I was at home doing a facial.

I was with Tristan.

I think.

I mean, by the time I flew in,
it was really late.

You're hiding something.

And I think I know what.

It's because you were with Bo and you
didn't want Isabel to find out.

But, like, who cares
what Isabel thinks.

Especially after what she did
to you in chemistry class.

Do you realize you're still lucky
to have your hand?

[Isabel] It doesn't matter
where I was two nights ago.

What matters is that tonight...

We're together.

[sighs]

So where were you two nights ago?

Let's go talk somewhere
a little quieter.

Right.

Yeah, talk. Uh-huh.

[laughing]

You two have so much in common.

Yeah. Linda, you are a therapist.

And, Todd, you're in therapy.

Discuss.

-Oh, you don't have--
-I wet the bed.

It's more common
than people think.

You're lovely.

I'm so glad she convinced me
to skip my reunion for this.

Most serial killers wet the bed.

[inhales]

I smell a love connection,
don't you?

Let's crank this date up a notch.

Waiter.

Linda, this is getting
out of control.

We just have
to get through tonight.

We can do it.

[sighs]

So, Todd,

any hobbies?

I make my own toothpaste.

Where were you two nights ago?

Uh...

-Come on, Tristan.
-I can't remember.

Well, try.

[chuckles] I told you, man,
I don't remember where I was.

Oh!

Tell me the truth now.

Okay. A couple nights ago,
we all broke in to the school pool.

-[camera clicking]
-You know, just a little party

before the party, you know.

-But why is that a secret?
-Because we didn't invite everyone.

Well, you for instance.

I'm sorry, man.

If we knew how cool you had gotten,
we totally would've invited you.

So what you're saying is,
you all have the same alibi?

[grunts]

We are wasting our time here.

Where's the detective?

[Max] I dig you, Chloe.

You're different.

Too bad you didn't go to high school
with us.

Yeah.

-That would have been great.
-Yeah.

So you were gonna tell me

where you were two nights ago?

[both chuckle]

Now, is that really

what you wanna talk about, hmm?

Well...

I mean, I would really like to know.

[Jessica] Max!

What are you doing?
Who is that?

-Uh...
-We are talking, and what do you care?

You cheated on Max with Tristan.

That was 15 years ago.

Actually I am still
kind of pissed about that.

I'm sorry I cheated on you,

but I only did it because I thought
you slept with Emily.

I would never cheat on you, Jessica.

I know that now.

I read 3001.

It showed me
how much you really loved me.

You know, sometimes I think about

getting back together.

[Chloe] Mmm.

-Me too.
-Oh.

[Emily] What's going on here? Max.

I thought it was gonna be just us.

I'm not really down for a four-way.

[Lucifer] Make that five.

I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm not down either.

Oh, so you were sleeping with Emily,
weren't you?

And then you bring
this rando in here, too?

-I'm not a rando.
-I just met this--

We are never getting back together.

You didn't tell her about us?

-"Us"?
-Yes, us.

-[Max] I never said anything like that.
-[overlapping shouting]

Detective, none of these people
killed Kathleen.

What?

-"Killed"?
-[Emily] What?

-"Detective"?
-[Lucifer] I have discovered

that they all have the same alibi.

They broke onto the campus
two nights ago

and had a party by the pool.
Didn't you, hmm?

So, Kathleen's killer, not here.

Look at me being the responsible one.

So that's why you were all acting
so strangely?

[Max] Yeah.

Sorry we didn't invite you, Todd,

but you're not mad, right?

You were hanging out
with Kathleen anyway.

[Chloe] What?

Todd was hanging out
with Kathleen two nights ago?

Yeah, that's what he said
in the e-mail.

I did?

What? He was an awesome math tutor,
now he helps me with my taxes.

Detective, I think I'm the killer.

[siren wailing]

Apparently Maze took Todd
to a steakhouse in Hollywood.

It's an odd place for a kidnapping,
even for Maze.

What motive would Todd have
to kill Kathleen?

He's not even in the books.

Well, exactly. Odd Bod Todd
is probably tired of being left out.

-Oh, right. Should have thought of that.
-Yes, you should have.

But someone was making the case
all about themselves.

Slightly unprofessional,
but I forgive you, Detective.

I know.

I can't believe I let myself
get so wrapped up in all of that.

Think I was just trying to make up
for all of the fun teenage drama

that I missed out on, you know?

I didn't even get
to go to my own prom.

It's ridiculous, I know.

No, it's not.

And that's the best way
to clean out an abscessed tooth.

How delightful.

I am so glad we did this.

I have missed you guys.

I mean...

[sighs] What's not to miss, right?

Mmm.

Okay, stop. That's inappropriate.
We are in a restaurant, Maze.

-Who cares?
-I care.

I mean... [stuttering]
It just makes me uncomfortable.

Oh, it does?

Well, does this make you
uncomfortable, too?

Ugh. Maze! Maze!
Why are you acting like this?

Because she knows.

You know. Don't you?

And you're torturing us.

That is so incredibly mean.

I'm the one who's mean?

You're the ones
who've been running around

lying to me about this fling
for weeks.

[Linda] Of course, we lied, Maze.
Look at you.

You have a tendency to overreact.

I do not overreact.

-Maze, can we just calm down?
-No!

No.

I will not take orders
from some pathetic daddy's boy.

Tell me, Amenadiel,

is this the divine purpose
your father sent you here for?

So you can bang some...

-Selfish human.
-Selfish? Selfish?

All I do is listen to your problems.

Everyone's problems.

So, yeah,
for once, I put myself first

and did what makes me happy.

So sue me. Or torture me.
Or better yet,

why don't you just skewer
me with one of your knives?

But before you do,

know that this wasn't some fling,

that what Amenadiel and I found

was completely unexpected,

but 100% real.

But you are my friend.

Maze?

LAPD, drop the weapons.

[clattering]

Yes, I indeed visited Kathleen
two nights ago.

The night she was murdered.

Kathleen was murdered?

Oh, my!

And you think I did it?

[Chloe] Hmm.

[sighs] Of course, you do.

The weirdo.

The outcast.

I'm used to people judging
this book by its cover.

That's why I swore off social media.

I still don't even know
how Kathleen tracked me down.

Kathleen tracked you down?

She wanted to discuss the final
installment of her series with me.

But why would she talk
about that with you?

-You're not even in the books.
-Yeah.

I was surprised, too.

Turns out not only was she going
to include me in the final book...

She was making me the hero.

Does that mean she
let you read the book?

Uh... No. She didn't want me
to read it yet.

Kathleen was waiting for the reunion.

She was excited about finishing it
in time to show everyone there.

So you have no idea
what's in the afterword?

The afterword? No.

But she did tell me
about the story itself.

How it had
a peaceful grounded ending.

No scandals,
no insiders versus outcast, just...

People finally
understanding each other.

The way she described it...

[sighs]

It sounded beautiful.

-And boring.
-And not at all

like the action-packed robot ending
that the editor told us about.

I smell a new theory brewing.

I gotta go make a phone call.

Mr. Green.

Hi, Detective Decker, LAPD.

Detective, how can I help you?

Um, I was just wondering,
did Kathleen ever talk to you

about working with a ghost writer?

Ghost writer? No. Wish she had.

Maybe she would've finished
the book sooner.

Oh, I see, so...

So she never mentioned a fan-fic
writer named Ashley Collins?

He's a manager at an ice cream
shop named Scoop Science.

Actually, yeah,
Kathleen did mention some sort of

overeager fan who invented
some special flavor for her.

Kind of creeped her out.

Why are you asking?
Is this actually a suspect?

Oh, well, I can't divulge any of
that information at this time,

but you've been incredibly helpful,
Mr. Green, thank you.

You in the mood
for some ice cream?

Hello, Vincent.

Looking for Ashley?
Sorry to disappoint.

-What are you doing here?
-[Chloe] Drop the gun.

You are under arrest
for the murder of Kathleen Pike.

You lied to us, Vincent.

I called Ashley,
he confirmed that the robot ending

was his version and not Kathleen's.

-That... That means nothing.
-But it is suspicious,

so I looked at traffic footage.

You went to Kathleen's house
the night of the murder.

But, Detective, didn't he tell us

he didn't go over there
till the next morning?

Fine.

Yes, I was at Kathleen's that night.

If you had waited five years
for that damn book like I did,

you wouldn't want to wait
another second for it, either.

But once you got it, you didn't like
what you read, did you?

[Vincent] I was horrified.

She ended the series
in the most boring way possible.

And you were worried about the sales.

We'd lose millions
without the right ending. Ashley's.

So you and Kathleen argued
over which one to use?

She refused to use
the good version, so yeah,

I threw her stupid typewriter
at her.

But even with Kathleen gone,
you knew that you couldn't publish

Ashley's ending as hers.

So you came here to tie up
the one loose end.

Now tell me, Vincent.

Kathleen's manuscript.

-Where is it?
-I don't have it.

-I destroyed it.
-You did what?

I couldn't let anybody read
that pathetic joke of an ending.

I needed to read the afterword
so I could fix my problem

and now you say it's gone?

Lucifer, back off!

What did it say?

-The afterword?
-Yes!

-How did she fix her block?
-I don't know.

She said inspiration came
when she realized

she couldn't go back and change
what she'd done.

-Well, that doesn't help me at all!
-Lucifer, stop.

Now I'm never gonna figure out--

[hissing]

-Are you okay?
-No, Detective.

Far from it.

Remind me to never go
on another blind date ever again.

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, I don't know, I thought you and Todd
really made a connection.

[chuckles]

-Okay, so I've been thinking.
-Yeah.

A lot.

-Pretty crazy what Maze did.
-I'll say.

But she was right.

We never should have lied to her.

And I never should have
lied to myself.

Yourself?

What do you mean?

As much as I tried
to tell myself otherwise,

I knew what we were doing
was going to hurt her

and I did it anyway.

That's how much I wanted
to be with you, Amenadiel.

Look, you've made me happier
than I've been in a long, long time.

But...

I was being selfish.

Maze is my friend.

[sighs]

I can't be with you anymore.

Not when it does this to her.

You know it's not fair for her
to take this away from us.

I know.

I don't expect you to understand.

But I don't want to be
that kind of person.

It's just not who I am.

Actually, I do understand.

I may have strayed
from who I am as well.

[sighs]

So I guess this is it.

I guess so.

Lucifer.

I'm here, you wanted to see me?

Yes, I wanted to check on you,

that you were back
to being the good detective.

"The good detective"?

Hmm. Well, I like our partnership
much better

when you do all the work
and I'm the fun irresponsible one.

Oh, yeah.

I did get a little carried away
at that reunion. [chuckles]

[chuckles] Just a smidge.

You know,
it made me realize something.

All of that high school drama
that I missed out on...

The girly gossip,

the hallway crushes,

all those school dances...

That's just not who I am.

I like being the responsible adult.

Right.

So you no longer desire
any of that high school poppycock?

[sighs] No.

Well, then... [clears throat]

I guess you won't be wanting this.

Detective,

will you go to the prom with me?

-[clicks]
-[music playing]

I can't believe you did this.

Thank you, Lucifer.

I'm just glad you got
what you needed.

But you...

You never found that inspiration
that you were looking for.

Are you ever gonna tell me
what it is you're trying to solve?

Uh...

It's... It's complicated.

Well, tell me anyhow.

Very well.

Long time ago,

dear old Dad put a curse on a,

well, a friend of mine.

And I want to break that curse,

show my father he's not as powerful
as he thinks.

That he can't control him.

Or me.

Well, crazy metaphor aside, can I

-offer some advice?
-[chuckles] Please.

If I've learned anything
from this experience,

it's that it's better to move
forward than stay stuck in the past.

It's just like Kathleen realized.

We can't rewrite history.

You can't.

But maybe I can.
Detective, you are a genius.

-Thanks?
-You've just given me my idea.

All I need to do is go back

and undo the reason it exists
in the first place.

-Huh.
-[laughs]

Thank you.