All language subtitles for Lucifer_S03E06_Vegas with Some Radish.English (CC)

[all singing]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Chloe ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

[Chloe] Aw.

["In Da Club" playing]

♪ Go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Go, go, go, shawty ♪

♪ It's your birthday ♪

♪ We gon' party like it's yo birthday ♪

No.

♪ We gon' sip Bacardi
like it's your birthday ♪

♪ And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday! ♪

-[people cheering]
-No, no.

-[Chloe] Oh.
-Yes.

[all cheering]

Finally, an X-rated office party.

Leave it to you to steal my thunder, huh?

Much as I'd love
to take credit for this, Daniel,

Officer snake hips is not my doing.

Mmm. Right.

Make it rain, birthday girl.

-[Chloe] Was this you?
-Yeah.

I did not see that coming.

Hey, what can I say?

Big surprise, little package.

Big package by the looks of it.

-Slap it.
-[cell phone ringing]

-Slap it!
-[Chloe] Oh.

I'm sorry.

Lucifer Morningstar.

Las Vegas Police Department?

Candy? No, I'm gonna stop you there.

She's my ex-wife actually.

Can you believe it takes
a year to annul something

that only lasted a couple of weeks?

No, I haven't spoken to her
for a few months. Why do you ask?

What? She's missing?

Uh, yes. Yes, of course.

I'm in Los Angeles, but if you do
hear anything, please contact me.

Aw, don't worry, buddy.
Look, I got more singles for you.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm all right
for cash, thank you.

[Lucifer exhales]

You okay?

That was the Las Vegas Police Department.

It appears my ex, Candy, is missing.

Oh, my gosh. I hope she's okay, buddy.

[stammering] Yes, as do I.

Candy was caught up
in some rather nasty business.

But I thought I'd taken care of it.

-Nasty business?
-Yes.

In exchange, she helped me
with a delicate matter.

I'd hate to think I haven't
fulfilled my end of the bargain.

All right. I'll kill the music.
We'll all help find her.

No, no, no, no. Um...

I don't want to spoil
the Detective's celebrations.

No, I'll just beat on over to Sin City
and check on Candy myself.

Oh, yeah, you know, I kind of
have a thing with Vegas.

Otherwise, I would totally,
totally offer to go with you.

Right. Good to know.

But then, I can tell that
it's really important to you

and I do have the next
couple of days off, so...

Okay, you've convinced me.
I will help you.

Help him? Help him with what?

Please don't tell me you guys
got another stripper.

-No, he got a...
-No, no, no.

Nothing for the birthday girl
to worry about.

I want you to focus
on one thing only, Detective,

that is getting older.

Excuse me? Wait, you're leaving?

-Yeah, I'll call you later.
-Wait!

But seriously, Detective,
you just stay here.

It's my birthday.

Shake your booty while you still can.

[Lucifer] Oh, there you go.

["In Da Club" continues playing]

[Ella] Hmm. You smell that?

That is pleather, cigars,
and vomit, my friend.

[chuckles] I have to say I didn't have
a good Catholic girl like yourself

pegged as a fan of Sin City.

Mmm, not a fan exactly. More like
a tiny, helpless space capsule

being sucked into a deadly black hole.

[cell phone ringing]

-Anyway, shall we?
-Uh...

Chloe again? You know what they say,
fifth time's a charm.

Lucifer, you should really
tell her what's going on.

It's still her birthday.

And you're still going with that. Okay.

Officer.

[indistinct chatter]

Either it's someone else's birthday...

[Ella] Or this is an active crime scene.

Oh, no.

Candy?

Oh, Lucifer, I'm so sorry, buddy.

[Lucifer sighs]

Man, her face is gone.

Hello.

Look at those dainty feet.

Okay, not judging here,

but really? Is this really the time
for the pervy stuff? "Dainty feet?"

Um, debatable, but that's not
what I was talking about.

No, Candy has ginormous feet.

I mean, regular boat, it's huge.

That means that this is not Candy.

Oh, man, that's awesome!

[shushing]

[chuckles sheepishly]

Sorry, my friend here,

not a fan of the deceased, I'm afraid.

Mean, she was just so mean.

-Oh...
-[shushing] Women.

[theme music playing]

-We should go.
-Mmm-hmm.

[Detective Long] Excuse me.
I'm Detective Long. And you are?

Um...

Lucifer Morningstar. Pleasure.

-You're Candy's husband.
-Ex-husband.

Right. Talked to you on the phone.

-You said you were in Los Angeles.
-Oh, yes.

And you don't seem very broken up
about your ex-wife's death.

Well, that's because this woman
is not my wife.

Right 'cause she's your ex-wife.

Think you made that pretty clear, buddy.

Hi, how you doing? Ella Lopez, LAPD CSI.

For the record, we just got into town.

Arrived at 1300 hours
and 14 minutes to be exact.

And based on a visual assessment
of the victim's lividity,

she's been deceased for,

I'd say 2100 hours yesterday.

So, my travel buddy here, not a suspect.

Uh-huh.

Also, I know, none of my beeswax,

but I saw that you were going with
an ultraviolet light on the couch.

[inhales sharply] I would've gone with
the straight old bleep, man,

but you know what? To each his own.

-Thanks for the advice.
-You got it, Detective.

Ixnay on the otnay andycay.

Sorry, is that German?

'Cause if it is, it's absolutely awful.

Trust me, I should know.
Hitler was a talker.

Well, screamer actually.

[groans]

I'm saying that for now,

we shouldn't let LVPD know
that that's not Candy.

If this gets back to the killer,
he might try to kill her again.

Oh, right. Yes, good idea,
Ms. Lopez. Good idea.

What's a good idea?

[both] Um...

-To give you my card.
-Her card.

In case you want any more advice.

-Always happy to help.
-She's very good.

-Very.
-Right.

I have a feeling I will be talking
to both of you again

before the investigation's over.

I doubt that. I mean,
hanging out with a cop in Las Vegas

is like bringing your grandma to an orgy.
[chuckles]

Am I right?

-No.
-[Ella] Okay.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Hi.

Hey, sorry to interrupt.
Have you heard from Lucifer?

No, why? Has something happened?

No, not really. I just, I, uh...

I had a question about a case
and I can't get ahold of him.

Yeah, we were celebrating
my birthday at the precinct

and then all of a sudden, he just bailed

and now he's not answering my calls.

Would you like to have a seat?

No, no, it's not a big deal.

You sure?

Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm fine. It's probably just Lucifer
being Lucifer, you know?

Probably.

Please, have a seat.

I'm not really... I know you're busy.
I don't wanna take up...

[stammers] I checked Lux,
and he wasn't there.

And I thought I'd go up
to the penthouse to check,

but last time he went AWOL,
I went up there to check on him

and all of his furniture
was covered in sheets,

and he had run off to Vegas. [laughs]

Of course, that's when

we were getting together,
which we totally are not anymore.

Nor will we. But you know,
it's my birthday.

Mmm-hmm.

Wow. Good couch.

I know.

And I understand.

Birthdays can be emotional.

I guess. No, I'm good.

He's, um, probably just in the penthouse,
passed out or something.

Emphasis on "Something".

How about I go with you?

Please.

Seems Candy dodged a bullet
quite literally.

Shotgun blast, anyway.

Yes, so, we need to find this killer

before he or she realizes their mistake.

Detective Nosy in there could get DNA
back on that body within 24 hours.

So we gotta find a lead, stat.

Right.

Okay, so you were married
to Candy for a week.

-Uh, two weeks.
-Mmm-hmm.

I mean, any idea who would want her dead?

["Fever" playing]

♪ Never know how much I love you ♪

♪ Never know how much I care ♪

♪ When you put your arms around me ♪

♪ I get a fever that's so hard to bear ♪

♪ You give me fever ♪

♪ When you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight ♪

♪ Fever ♪

Psychic bartender, my favorite.

[bartender] Who is she?
Not the one singing,

the reason you're drinking.

Not who I thought she was.

♪ Moon lights up the night ♪

Hardly her fault then.

Never is.

♪ And you know
I'm going to treat you right ♪

Everyone's reading my mind today.

♪ When you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight ♪

♪ Fever in the morning ♪

Don't mind if I do.

[Lucifer chuckles]

♪ What a lovely way to burn ♪

Who was that?

That was Candy.

I think I'd quite like
to continue my chat with Candy.

[applause]

Where's my money?

And my ring.

Bravo, Candy.

Emergencies.

[Candy] Ow, you're hurting me.

Just give me some time.
Please, I'll have it for you.

[Lucifer]
His name's Louie Pagliani.

He's a local loan shark
and all around dirtbag.

I thought I'd dealt with that
human stain last time I was here.

Yeah, well, this is Vegas.

This town is always up for an encore.

[tires screeching]

[lock clicking]

Here we go.

They teach lock picking in forensic class?

-No. Middle school.
-[chuckles]

Miss Lopez, you are an enigma

wrapped in a hoodie
under a jaunty ponytail.

Oh, no. The annihilation.

Ugh.

Even if Louie didn't kill fake Candy,

this decor alone is enough
for immediate execution. I mean...

[chuckling] What was he thinking?

Well, uh, looks like someone beat you
to the execution part.

-Louie?
-Oh.

Definitely. I'd know those
hairy ham hands anywhere.

[Ella] The trajectory of the blood spatter

in relation to the stiff makes zero sense.

There is no way Louie pulled the trigger.

Typical Vegas. Even a suicide's a fake.

Yeah, and so is the hair color.

Look at this. It's pink.

Candy.

What? She was here.

You think Candy would've killed Louie

and then faked her own death to disappear?

[sighs] No, no, no. Candy's not a killer.

No, just a thieving con-woman.

-You knew her one week.
-Two weeks.

Well, you don't know
what she's capable of.

[sighs]

Candy did owe Louie money
once upon a time, but I paid him off.

Perhaps he wanted more.

Huh.

This must be Mrs. Ham Hands.

Oh, dearie me.

Someone's sending a painful message.

If Louie was after Candy's candy...

Maybe his old lady found out,

followed who she thought was Candy,
home from the club,

shot her and then
framed/finished off Louie.

And we need to find this murderous ginger

before she finds the real Candy.

Ah, Roxy Pagliani.
I suppose she's the missus.

Just block the caller ID.

You can't just call her.
What're you gonna say?

I'm gonna ask her
if she's the killer, of course.

No, terrible plan. I'm gonna need that.

-What are you doing?
-[Roxy] Hello.

Hi, yeah, this is Marsha
calling from Sensational Statues.

-Who?
-Sensational Statues?

Yeah, we got that new, um...
You know, that new,

oh, bust of Caesar you ordered.

Uh-huh. It came out real sexy.

-Sexy?
-Yeah.

Thirty percent off if we can drop it
wherever you are,

right now.

[Roxy] I'm sorry. I didn't buy any bust.

-Pfft. You sure? Because I...
-[slot machine sounds]

Whoopsie, my mistake, doll, my mistake.

See? The truth would have
been much more expedient.

Nope. I know exactly where Roxy is.

I heard the sound of
the Guidos Rainbow slot machine

in the background of that call.

It's a vintage machine

and only one casino in Vegas has it.

The Moonbeam.

Wow. Ka-ching, Miss Lopez.

[elevator bell dings]

[Chloe] Well, no sheets on the furniture.
That's a good sign.

[Linda] And it looks like...

Yup, the overnight bag is missing.
So maybe he did go out of town.

On my birthday.

You know, speaking of, this is stupid.

What are we doing here?
We should be celebrating.

Yes. We should be celebrating.

Yeah. So, where to?

Hmm.

Actually, I do know this place
with an awesome sound system

and all the top shelf you can drink.

Best views in the city?

Seems a shame to let that sunset
go to waste.

["I Love Me" playing]

♪ I love me ♪

♪ I don't know about you ♪

♪ But, baby, I love me ♪

♪ Now everybody say, hey-hey-hey ♪

♪ Oh, hey-hey-hey, I love me ♪

Hamlet!

[sighing]

Hamlet.

"Thanks for the punch-up. Love, Will."

-Wow.
-What you looking at?

Nothing exciting.

-[off-key piano playing]
-[Chloe] I'm Lucifer Morningstar!

[imitates Lucifer] I can play the piano
and I'm a fancy British man.

Let's go take a peek at his sock drawer.

But Dr. Martin, you're his therapist.

Aren't there rules against that?

Trust me, there's nothing I don't
know about Lucifer Morningstar.

Except what's in his sock drawer.

-It's not like he can see us.
-Let's do it.

[cell phone ringing]

Whoa. Oh. [giggles]

Oh! Oh!

-It's Lucifer.
-That's Lucifer.

Yeah, I can see that.

Officially, officially creeped out!

Okay, don't answer. No, wait, answer it.

-Uh, just don't say we're here.
-Okay.

-[music stops]
-Mmm.

Hello.

[Lucifer] Oh. Doctor, I didn't think
you were going to answer.

I'm just calling to reschedule
my therapy appointment.

I'm on a quick trip out of town.

Oh, oh.

Out of town.

-Um, uh, where?
-Nowhere special.

-Just Vegas.
-Vegas? Again?

What you doing in Vegas?

[indistinct chatter]

Don't you look ravishing?

[Linda] Lucifer?

Uh, sorry, I've gotta go, Doctor.
Speak soon.

Bye.

What did he say at the end there?

Um, something about radishes.

You are stunning, aren't you?

I almost didn't recognize you. No offense.

Ah. It's hard to get your glitter on
when you're stuck in a lab all day.

But I mean, Vegas.

Where else can I bust out the booty?

There's no reason we can't look fabulous

and catch a homicidal redhead.

Exactly.

[Chloe] He didn't say "Radish."
He said, "Ravishing" didn't he?

He's in Vegas with someone ravishing

on my birthday.

You know what? Why do I even care?

Why do I care? This is stupid.

Okay, feelings are not stupid.

Well, this one is, okay?

This feeling is stupid.

Okay, Lucifer and I are friends,

partners, that's all.

I'm totally past anything romantic.

Full on rear view in the past.

Okay, it is completely reasonable

for something like a trip to Vegas

to trigger old emotions.

Emotions that maybe
you haven't completely dealt with.

There's no expiration date
on the process of healing.

We should go.

You're welcome.

Where are my pants? I was wearing...

[gasping]

Are you okay?

Oh.

[Linda] Oh...

Screw the sock drawer.

[slot machines whirring]

Oh, that is definitely her.

[Lucifer] Ah, Mrs. Ham Hands.

Looks like she's the casino's pit boss.

Right, let's go and chat up our killer.

Uh, could be a problem.

Pit bosses are notoriously
hard to flush out.

Only clients they pay attention to
are the whales,

serious high rollers.

So, how about blackjack?

-More of a poker man myself.
-Poker?

No, poker involves bluffing,
also known as lying.

Something you claim you don't do.

Bluffing and lying,
two totally different things.

So I guess what you do
with Chloe in the hall,

not telling her you're in Vegas,
also not lying?

No, that's selective omission.
Get it straight, Lopez.

Potato, potato, potudo.

You, my friend, are compartmentalizing.

I don't even know what that means.

Anyways,

it looks like Roxy's
working the blackjack floor.

So let's get you at the table.

What, me? What about you?

Best I just watch.

[both cheering]

Again? Beginner's luck.

[laughs]

Right. Let's see
if this gets Roxy's attention.

Oh, booyah.

That's what I'm talking about.

Well, it's so much fun to bet
lots and lots of money.

And there's plenty more
where this came from.

Nice! You have an 11.
Double down. Double down.

Right-o. Doubling down. Doubling down.

[sing-song]
More money, more money, more money.

-Yes!
-[exclaiming]

Very good, Miss Lopez.
You're very good at this, aren't you?

Teamwork makes the dream work.

[exhales] Look at all that money, eh?

I fancy a drink actually. Oh...

-Here you are.
-Wonderful service.

Thank you. What's your name?

Mmm.

Oh, that is perfect. Thanks.

What would you like, Miss Lopez?

I would like for you to focus on
the game. You just got two aces.

But... Oh, right.

-Well, maybe you would like...
-Split!

Uh, it's working, Miss Lopez.
Whatever you're doing, keep doing it.

Yeah, order me one, too.

-And 20.
-[crowd cheering]

Well done, Miss Lopez. Well done indeed.

Excuse me, sir. Come with us, please.

Oh.

Excellent. It's worked. It's worked.

Right, off to
the high roller's suite, are we?

Yeah, I don't think
that's where they're taking us.

What sort of casino back room
is this anyway?

I mean, where's the dangling
light bulb and blood stained floor?

-Where's Joe Pesci?
-[camera clicking]

Hey, go easy! Going blind here.

This seems maiming,
this isn't even our agenda.

Quite frankly,
I'm disappointed, gentlemen.

Oh!

Actually, slightly less disappointed now.
[chuckles]

Oh.

It's you. So maybe this wasn't
a total waste of time.

Maybe we should stop talking,
and by we, I mean you.

[scanning]

[beeping]

So I guess the disguise
didn't do it for you.

Very few people can count cards
like you, Miss Lopez.

Count cards? Oh, I'm impressed.

So am I. Your technique's so infamous

we were able to spot you in,
what was it, half an hour.

Forty three minutes.

You guys are getting lax.

The question is, what do I do with you?

If banning you
from the casino didn't work,

maybe I should call your new friends

at the LAPD.

Okay. Fine. Go right ahead.

And you know, while you're at it,

why don't you tell them about your crimes?

-What?
-[Lucifer] Yes.

J'accuse.

First of all, of mixing Corinthian
and Doric columns

in your McMansion. I mean...

And secondly, of killing your husband
and who you thought was his mistress.

-Louie's dead?
-[scoffs]

Hello, yes, Louie's dead.
Savagely murdered by you.

[Lucifer] Mmm.

Well...

Her poker face is amazing. Take note.

My husband was a crook.

I knew it was only a matter of time
before his ticket got punched.

But I certainly didn't kill him
or anyone else.

Okay. Very well, Roxy.

If you didn't want Louie dead
then tell me, what do you want?

-I...
-Yes?

I want the pro-golfer on table four. Bad.

I've been trying to pick up his
sweet ass for two days straight.

I worked a triple shift
just to keep him in my sights

and I think I'm really close
to getting a hole in one.

-You know what I mean?
-Oh, dear.

Well, as the detective would say
in this situation,

that means no motive.

Or opportunity.

Damn it! 666 didn't work either.

Try 8008.

-8008?
-[beeping]

Spells "Boob".

-Ah.
-[beeping]

No. You know, normally
I wouldn't be so concerned

about trying to get into this thing,

if I didn't think there is some
real clues as to where Lucifer is.

'Cause wherever he is,
maybe he's in danger.

Right. Maybe "ravishing"...

I mean, radish is code for "Help!"

Yes. Maybe that's why he skipped town.

'Cause someone's after him

and it'd be irresponsible
for us not to open this thing.

Or maybe you two just had
too much to drink.

You're too curious to leave
well enough alone.

Which is why you hauled my ass out here.

Does that mean you're not gonna help us?

I didn't say that.

[whirring]

Really have quite the grip,
don't you? Hmm?

You have a good time on your own?

Okay! Ugh.

You're just full of surprises,
aren't you, my little rainman.

What can I say?

We all have coping mechanisms

and mine just happens
to be counting cards.

Or was, anyway.

Coping mechanisms? For what, poverty?

No.

Helped quiet the voices.

What voices?

Nevermind. Forget I said that.

The point is that

everyone has stuff that they wanna avoid.

Like the way you are avoiding Chloe.

[sighs] How many times do I
have to tell you I'm not avoiding

or lying to the Detective?
I'm... [inhales sharply]

-...protecting her.
-Oh.

You're protecting her
or you're protecting yourself?

Look, why are we even discussing this?

Right now, Candy is the one
who needs protecting

and we've just hit a dead end.

Right, okay, but hold on.
If we are gonna find a new lead,

how about we start with
how you two ended up married.

[chuckles nervously]

-Hello, Candy,
-[gasps]

my thieving vixen.

I don't know what you're
talking about. How'd you get in here?

Impressive grift you've got going.

But I'm afraid that you can't
keep this little beauty.

Please, please, I'm sorry.

Sentimental value.

But you're welcome to keep the cash.

Goodness knows where you've hidden that.

[sobbing]

I'm so sorry. Please don't
call the cops. It's just...

My dad died recently,

and he used to own
the club I was singing at.

-You know, Fletchers.
-Mmm.

We owe this ginormous amount of cash
to this super scary loan shark,

Louie Pagliani,
and he used the club as collateral

and if I don't come up
with 300 grand, like now,

Louie's gonna take it.

And who knows what else?

I didn't know what else to do. [sobs]

Bravo. You really are quite
the performer, aren't you?

You don't believe me?

What, the weepy waterworks? Not a chance.

But your story seems legit, though.

[hyperventilating]

[exhales heavily]

It is.

And so is my apology.

[scoffs]

I actually felt bad.

From the looks of you at the bar,

you got your own problems to deal with.

Nothing I can't handle on my own.

You sure about that?

And so, you see,

I had to leave.

Mmm.

I get it.

The part about your dad putting
the detective in your path is fuzzy.

But seems like you
genuinely care about her.

Yes, I do.

A lot.

Isn't you going AWOL gonna kinda
throw a big flag on that play?

Well, I said that I care about her.

Oh, unrequited love.

Yeah, I get that, too.

No, no, it's not unrequited, it's...

Well, the Detective has feelings for me

but she has no control
over those feelings.

-Okay, I don't get that.
-It's difficult to explain, but...

I just... [sighs]

I just wanna do right by her.

I believe you. Here, swap.

Do you ever ask yourself,

"How the hell did I end up here?"

What, eating mint chocochip ice cream
wrapped in a pink snuggy?

[chuckles]

Pink's a good color for you, actually.

Oh. You are a good liar, aren't you?

I don't lie.

Forgive me but you are a con-woman.

I am not a con-woman. I am a singer

forced to do some things
that I'm not proud of,

but only so I can dig my dad's club
out of debt.

I grew up on that stage, my home.

Drastic measures for
the things we care about.

That I get.

I might pretend to be someone
a little less threatening sometimes,

but I don't lie.

Call it bluffing. Totally different thing.

Well, that I definitely get.

We're quite similar, you and I, aren't we?

Yeah, we are.

Mmm.

Except for the fact that you have
ginormous feet.

Oh!

[chuckles]

Do you know,

there might be a way for you and I
to dig each other out, Candy.

I'll pay off your debt

if you don't mind doing a little
bluffing for me.

Marry me.

[laughing]

And so we got married. The end.

Hmm.

Okay, so you fake married Candy
to avoid Chloe,

even though you cared about her.

Who's the enigma now?

[sarcastic chuckle]

[woman] Excuse me.

Sorry, did I forget to tip?
How rude of me.

Lucifer!

Candy!

What are you doing here?
You're gonna ruin everything.

[stammers]

As much as I love the Bettie Page vibe

you've got a bullseye on your back.
This is hardly a good hiding place.

But it is where my killer works.

You were on to Roxy as well?

Till you and your sidekick
derailed things.

Not my sidekick, and I hate to disappoint,

but Roxy Pagliani did not
kill your lookalike.

Ally. Her name was Ally.

She broke up with her boyfriend
so I said she could stay with me.

I was just trying to be a good friend.

Oh, man, I'm so sorry.

Anyway...

Anyway, Roxy Pagliani did not kill Ally

or her husband in a jealous fit of rage.

I mean, the woman's about
as passionate as a protein bar.

This has nothing to do with passion.

The killer wants my father's club.

Fletchers. How do you know that?

After I found Ally dead,

I noticed there was only one thing
missing from my apartment.

The pocket deed for Fletchers.

Whoever possesses the deed owns the club.

It was used as collateral when my dad
borrowed money from Louie.

But when I went to confront him
he was already dead.

Oh, that's why her hair
was at the crime scene.

So, I thought, "Well, maybe Louie
told Roxy about the deed.

and she's the one who got greedy..."

Sadly, no. Roxy was working
at the time of the murder.

But who else could have
known about that deed?

Well, not to worry.

There's a much faster way
to flush out the killer.

Candy's still my wife, legally anyway.

Which would trump any sort of deed.

Exactly. Which means Fletchers is now
going to the grieving widower, me.

Yeah, but that makes you
the killer's next target.

[laughs] Well, I certainly hope so.

Right. Come on.

Showtime.

"Showtime"?

-[applause]
-[piano playing]

♪ They call you lady luck ♪

♪ But there is room ♪

♪ For doubt ♪

♪ At times you have a very unladylike ♪

♪ Way of running out ♪

[audience cheering]

But not tonight.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Lucifer Morningstar,

new owner here at Fletchers.
That's right, owner.

Please, a warm welcome
for the Morningstars.

♪ Luck be a lady tonight ♪

♪ Luck be a lady tonight ♪

♪Luck if you've ever
Been a lady to begin with ♪

♪ Luck be a lady tonight ♪

Are you buying any of this?

Well, Lucifer's certainly
made his presence known.

[over comm] So, any sign of the killer?

Any weird or suspicious activity?

Other than your high kick? No, sorry.

You try dancing with
a .22 strapped to your thigh.

♪ Luck be a lady with me ♪

-Creepy hunched fellow, two o'clock.
-Got it.

[Ella] Blue track suit. Big guy.

Yeah, that's the guy.

All clear. Only thing he cares about
are the complimentary crab legs.

♪ Lets keep this party polite ♪

♪ Never get out of my sight ♪

♪ Stick with me baby
I'm the fellow you came in with ♪

♪ Luck be a lady tonight ♪

♪ Luck be a lady ♪

♪Tonight ♪

[applause and cheering]

[Lucifer] Thank you!

Oh, thank you all so much.
I'm here all night.

No, seriously, all night.

And now we wait
for the real show to begin.

Mmm-hmm.

[drilling]

-Whoops.
-[Chloe] "Whoops"?

As in it worked?

Uh...

Oh. Oh, don't worry.

I've had a lot of experience
with giant holes.

-In walls.
-Hmm.

Little spackle and you're good to go.

Well, it's a good thing I come packing.

-You came packing spackle?
-Of course.

-[whirring]
-I'll be right back. Excuse me.

This... [sighs] Look at this.

-This is nuts.
-Yeah.

But super fun.

This is...

It's pointless, cracking into this safe

because no matter what we find

it's not gonna change the fact that A,

there are things about Lucifer
that I will never understand,

and B, spackle's not gonna help

the Assyrian antique wall.

I think you and I both know that
this isn't about spackle.

[sighing]

He left on my birthday.

And I wasn't expecting a big party
or anything huge.

Maybe a card?

You know, Lucifer is
a non-traditional guy.

And he celebrates in

non-traditional ways.

Right, like going to Vegas
with some radish.

Lucifer cares for you.

I'm sure he's gonna come back
with some crazy explanation...

That I'll probably never hear about.

No, fine. It's fine.

I just hate that I sound jealous
'cause I'm not.

I'm not jealous.

I'm not. I just, um...

He's just my friend, you know.

I know.

What did I tell you?

I am the man.

[Linda gasps]

Cheers. To the weirdest
birthday I've ever had.

[sniffles] And thank you for the party

such as it is.

[pouring drink]

[sighs]

Oh.

Dearie me. Rough night, old boy?

I'm sorry. But this place...

...is mine.

Well, well, well. It seems
our bad guy is the good bartender.

You can forget the tip, by the way.

First of all,

excellent bluff, Mr. Killer Bartender.

But I do need to tell you...

[angrily] I do need to tell you...

Ow!

God!

What I was trying to tell you
before you so rudely interrupted me

is that because I know you're
the killer and you can't kill me,

you may as well just hand yourself in now.

But I just shot you.

Yes, I know. It's perplexing,
isn't it, Juddy?

[Candy] Jud?

How could you?

Candy,

no, you can't be here.

I killed you!

What the hell is happening to me?

Who are you talking to?

You can't see her?

Hmm?

Oh, God.

What the hell?

Well, interesting turn of phrase
actually, Juddy,

because I am the devil.

And I believe that you're being haunted.

Perhaps if you repent your sins,
all will be forgiven.

The truth will set you free and all that.

You were like a son to my father,
a brother to me.

I was gambling again,
I was drowning in debt.

Why didn't you just tell me
you needed money?

Because you don't have any!

This place is worth crap,
it's the land that's worth millions.

I tried to get your dad to sell
and I knew you wouldn't either.

So you shot me in the back of the head.

Yes.

Yes, I did.

Now, go away!

-[gunshot]
-[Lucifer] Oh.

-There we go, Juddy!
-Leave me alone!

Fire away! You're like a kid
in a candy store, aren't you?

That's it, Juddy, go on!

[shattering]

[gunshot]

[Jud groans] My leg!

Excellent shot, Miss Lopez.
Another hidden talent.

Thanks.

And don't worry,

I'll give you props for the arrest.

I'm cool like that.

Gee.

Thanks.

Hey.

I just wanna say thank you
for saving my ass,

again.

It's what any good husband
would have done.

Come on, drinks on the house.

Uh...

Much as I'd love to, once Layla
over there finishes flirting,

-we must get back to LA.
-[Ella exclaims]

Speaking of LA,

whatever happened with the detective?

Mess it up yet?

Not yet, but I fear I may be about to.

Then what the hell
are you still doing here?

Go home, you devil.

Right.

You take care.

Yeah.

[whistles] Lopez! Get a wriggle on!

["Restless" playing]

♪ People wonder, people talk ♪

♪ We're supposed to settle down ♪

♪ How we ever got this far ♪

[elevator bell dings]

♪ Without our feet touching the ground ♪

♪ What time is it now where you are? ♪

[clattering]

♪ We're looking at the same star ♪

♪ It is a talent staying young ♪

♪ So why you think we both ♪

[chuckles]

I'm sorry I missed it.

[Lucifer sighs]

I could use a drink myself.

♪ Nothing hurts us ♪

♪ Every mountain you climb
takes you further away ♪

♪ Overcome a lifetime, every day ♪

I'm not exactly sure
what you're all doing here,

but I imagine it's something to do
with the fact that I wasn't.

And the truth is...

...I went to Las Vegas.

[scoffs]

And even though it was
for a very good reason,

I didn't tell you because

last time I went on a Vegas jaunt,

there were some
very unpleasant feelings involved.

For both of us.

Well, I didn't want to dredge
any of those up again.

So, I bluffed.

But I've come to realize that perhaps

bluffing is the same as lying,
and that's, as you know,

something I never want to do.

Especially to you.

Hello.

Someone's been busy.

[safe beeping]

[yawning]

Oh.

Perfect timing.

You've woken up just in time
for your surprise.

A surprise? What surprise?

Well, forgive my tardiness
but I thought it prudent

to deliver your gift in private.

Thank you.

Oh.

It's beautiful.

Oh...

What is it?

It's the bullet.

From when you shot me.
Remember, in the warehouse

early in our partnership?

Oh.

Yeah.

I remember.

Well, I thought since I'd never
likely penetrate you,

I'd commemorate the one time
you penetrated me.

[both laughing]

So, happy birthday, Detective.

♪ We're always restless ♪

♪ I'll hurry back ♪

♪ I'll hurry back ♪

[theme music playing]