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1
00:00:01,131 --> 00:00:04,265
[ orchestral music plays ]
2
00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:07,746
[ announcer speaks ]
3
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:11,446
[ arrows whizzing ]
4
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:35,209
I hate snakes.
5
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:37,167
I don't care
what my contract says,
6
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,691
I won't do the snake thing
and that's final.
7
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:44,870
But, Oklahoma,
the network research shows
8
00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:47,656
that snakes
boost ratings.
9
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,310
Nice watch, Roger.
10
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,094
- Gold?
- Of course.
11
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,099
Hope it's waterproof.
12
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:57,666
Now about those snakes.
13
00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:01,800
[ gulps ]
I'm sure we can
work something out.
14
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,976
See to it.
In the meantime,
15
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:05,674
I'll know when
I'm fashionably late.
16
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,721
Today's ALF Tale
is "King Midas,"
17
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:13,595
the story of the man
with the Midas touch.
18
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:16,293
Everything he touched
turned to gold.
19
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,078
Woman:
Smile, Professor.
20
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,166
Hey, my right
profile's better.
21
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,645
[ camera clicks ]
22
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:23,126
This is Connie Chung,
artifacts reporter
23
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,085
for the Irrational
Broadcasting Company
24
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,783
here on the campus
of Oklahoma Junior College.
25
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:34,050
Professor Oklahoma Jones,
the world-famous archeologist,
26
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,270
is about to depart
on his latest expedition.
27
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:42,624
Professor Jones is searching
for the legendary King Midas.
28
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:45,017
Chung on radio:
This will be Professor Jones'
last lecture
29
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,977
before leaving
on this perilous expedition.
30
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:51,589
[ German accent ] It will be
his last lecture ever.
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00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,244
Audience:
We want Oklahoma!
32
00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:57,465
We want Oklahoma!
We want...
33
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:59,380
Am I fashionably
late yet?
34
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,122
We want Oklahoma.
35
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:04,211
- Thank you.
- [ audience applauding ]
36
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:06,343
For years,
King Midas has been
37
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,519
just another
mythical figure
38
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,086
like the tooth fairy.
39
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,133
[ gasps, cheers ]
40
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,831
No tooth fairy?
41
00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:19,139
But who left me
all those quarters?
42
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,880
But new evidence
has recently come to light.
43
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:23,230
Slide, please.
44
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:27,234
As you can see,
he appears to really exist.
45
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:30,802
Unfortunately,
the photographer
who took this picture
46
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:34,110
made the mistake
of shaking hands
with King Midas
47
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,678
and was instantly
turned to mold.
48
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,070
"Mold"?
49
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,551
Is he a knucklehead
or what?
50
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,119
But the photographer's
camera survived
51
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,252
along with this map
52
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:48,820
of the uncharted ancient
theme park of Midasland.
53
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:51,693
And that's where
our expedition is headed.
54
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,051
There's Hertz Budget
Camel Rentals.
55
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:03,357
I hope they're open.
56
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:09,450
Welcome to the Hertz
Budget Camel Rental.
57
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,365
You know our motto,
58
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:14,890
"It only hurts
when you pay."
59
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,153
Brit?
60
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,286
Good to see
you again, Okie.
61
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,939
What are you doing here?
62
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:24,160
I'll make this whole expedition
seem more exotic
63
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,902
by speaking with
a pretentious British accent.
64
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:33,430
Would you like the one-hump
or the two-hump model?
65
00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,998
Anything as long as
it's air-conditioned.
66
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,956
I believe I have
a reservation.
67
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,656
Ah, Professor Jones,
68
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:44,224
I presume.
69
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,487
The one and only.
70
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,273
Where have I heard
that voice before?
71
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:53,015
Your camels are ready.
72
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:57,106
Did you want
mirage insurance?
73
00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:59,587
No, thanks.
I gave at the office.
74
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:02,764
Say, haven't I heard
your voice before?
75
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:05,288
Who, me?
76
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:08,335
Oh, you're mistaken,
sahib.
77
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,641
I never forget a voice.
78
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,515
Stop that,
hot breath.
79
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,302
My archrival,
Professor Bouquet.
80
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,130
What are you doing here?
81
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:24,351
Following you,
Oklahoma Jones.
82
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,266
Now hand over that map.
83
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,572
Make me,
you sleazy bully.
84
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:32,228
Try your puny bullwhip
85
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,099
on my razor-sharp
scimitar,
86
00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:36,319
Oklahoma Jones.
87
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,539
Come on, punk.
Make my day.
88
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,935
I think we'll be hiring
a new prop guy.
89
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:46,590
[ yells ]
90
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,897
Grab a camel, guys.
Let's split.
91
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,334
I will split you...
92
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,814
in half!
93
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:58,341
[ coughing ]
94
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,604
Herr Limburger,
you fool.
95
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,824
You let them get away.
96
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:06,654
I'll get you yet,
Oklahoma Jones!
97
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,356
Aha!
98
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,402
Signs of civilization.
99
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,447
You mean junk?
100
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,623
Jones:
No, I mean junk food.
101
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,799
- [ door opens ]
- [ bell rings ]
102
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,714
Oklahoma!
103
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,542
Rhonda!
104
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,199
Ow!
105
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:31,983
What was that for?
106
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,942
That's for jilting me
10 years ago
107
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,422
when you were
a young instructor
108
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,554
and I was
your innocent student.
109
00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,730
Yeah, but at least
you got an A.
110
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,342
Don't change
the subject.
111
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,126
How about
some service here?
112
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:45,562
I'm hungry.
113
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:46,955
Oh, typical.
114
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,044
Always thinking
of yourself first.
115
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,263
Yeah, but I always
thought of you second.
116
00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:53,875
- Really?
- Really.
117
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,267
Close your eyes, kids.
118
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:56,660
Here comes
the mushy part.
119
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:01,970
Oh, Oklahoma.
120
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,667
Oh, Rhonda.
121
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:09,717
Hey, what happened
to the schmaltzy love scene
music?
122
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,502
Are the sound editors
out to lunch or something?
123
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,549
Bouquet:
No, but you are...
124
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,246
permanently.
125
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:20,945
[ muffled ]
Let me go, you--
126
00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:22,599
[ yells ]
127
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,558
Now hand over
that map
128
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:28,344
or it's curtains
for your girlfriend.
129
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,041
That's terrible.
130
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:32,566
I know she'd prefer
Venetian blinds.
131
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,048
Jones:
So there we were,
132
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:39,616
trussed up like turkeys
in a roasting pan,
133
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,749
waiting for
the bomb to go off.
134
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,533
- The evil Professor Bouquet
- [ fuse sizzling ]
135
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:46,884
had absconded with the map
to King Midas' castle
136
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,017
and left us up the creek
without a poodle.
137
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:50,671
That's paddle.
138
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,326
Sorry.
Typo.
139
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,806
Aren't you gonna
do something
140
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,591
to get us
out of here, Okie?
141
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,810
You're the macho one,
remember?
142
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:02,987
I thought macho was out
and sensitive was in.
143
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,989
[ grunting ]
144
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,212
That Limburger guy
sure has a way with knots.
145
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:12,388
Bet he does
some dandy macramé.
146
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,086
Brit:
The bomb, Okie.
147
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,479
Don't worry.
148
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,915
No harm
will come to me
149
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,178
while I'm wearing
this solid gold Swiss timepiece.
150
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,397
[ explosion ]
151
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,487
[ ticks ]
152
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,620
Takes a licking
and keeps on ticking.
153
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,578
And now
back to our show.
154
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:32,582
We've gotta reach
King Midas before Bouquet
and Limburger do.
155
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,063
But we have no map.
156
00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,847
I forgot about that.
157
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,283
We're sunk.
158
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:39,589
If we don't make
it out of here,
159
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,373
we'll never
get to do a sequel.
160
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,463
Well, my place is history.
161
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,507
Guess I'll have to join you
162
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,423
so I can cash in
on Midas' riches.
163
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,556
Besides, since you
lost the map,
164
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,688
I'm the only one
who knows the way.
165
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,299
[ hissing ]
166
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:57,999
[ squawking ]
167
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:02,220
Maybe we should've
taken the freeway.
168
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:04,266
I thought you'd appreciate
the scenic route.
169
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:09,097
So how do you know so much
about this Midas thing?
170
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,533
Don't you remember?
171
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,884
I did my senior thesis
on Midas.
172
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:17,192
Besides, I used to take
my camel to his place
for tune-ups.
173
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,672
[ yells ]
174
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:21,936
So how did he acquire
this... affliction?
175
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:25,374
Well, he was
Bob Midas then.
176
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:26,593
He started out
with nothing
177
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,638
but a humble muffler shop
in the desert.
178
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:35,732
He was a huge success.
179
00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,952
He was the king
of the muffler biz.
180
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,781
- [ yells ]
- [ blasts ]
181
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:43,435
Rhonda:
So he set up franchises
all over.
182
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:46,874
There were Midas camel
muffler shops everywhere.
183
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,441
Bob grew
fabulously wealthy,
184
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,531
but still
he wanted more.
185
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:01,715
One day a superior being
named Cartier Tiffany...
186
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,325
- Ah!
- brought his camel in
187
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,806
for a complete overhaul.
188
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:06,807
[ thud ]
189
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,199
Wow.
190
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,817
Rhonda:
He gave Bob
a wonderful gift
191
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,080
in exchange
for reviving his camel.
192
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:22,387
Everything Midas touched
turned to gold.
193
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:23,563
Jones: Hold it!
194
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,348
I thought it was mold.
195
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,742
Everything he touched
turned to mold.
196
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:30,482
You were wrong.
197
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:33,094
Me wrong?
Impossible.
198
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:38,490
The only mold
is in your ears.
199
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,928
Gold with a G.
200
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:42,625
Oh, gold.
201
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,932
No wonder everyone's
so excited.
202
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:47,021
Come on.
We're at the entrance
203
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,066
to the secret passage
to Midasland.
204
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,601
Are you sure
this is safe?
205
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:02,645
Of course.
206
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:09,173
Ooh, it's in Latin.
207
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,653
What does it say,
Okie?
208
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:13,656
"Caveat snakus fallum."
209
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:17,225
Watch for falling snakes.
210
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:19,009
[ gulps ]
Uh...
211
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:20,924
ladies before
gentlemen.
212
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:23,057
My hero.
213
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,973
[ all yelling ]
214
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,409
[ thud ]
215
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,114
Snakes!
216
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,855
Get me out of here.
217
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,683
Oh, stop it,
you big baby.
218
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,120
They're more afraid of you
than you are of them.
219
00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:44,861
I don't think so.
220
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:47,472
[ hissing ]
221
00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:49,561
Why don't you imagine
that the snakes
222
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,389
are something
that you aren't afraid of?
223
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,783
Think of
your favorite animal.
224
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:55,089
Favorite animal, huh?
225
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,438
Okay.
226
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:00,572
- [ mooing ]
- It worked!
227
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,139
Don't you
just love cows?
228
00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:04,011
They're so
affectionate.
229
00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:06,578
Cows!
230
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,493
I'm terrified
of cows.
231
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,713
I'd rather
be surrounded by snakes.
232
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:11,888
Snakes?
233
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,455
Did somebody say snakes?
234
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,501
[ hissing ]
235
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,677
Whoa!
236
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:22,072
I'm not scared,
I'm not scared.
237
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,684
- I'm not--
- Watch out, Oklahoma!
238
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:26,947
Whoa!
239
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,387
- [ screams ]
- [ crash ]
240
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,661
Midasland.
241
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:48,577
Wow.
242
00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:00,632
[ thunks ]
243
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:01,938
Heavy metal.
244
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,635
This way.
245
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,379
Rhonda:
This is Midas' wife....
246
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,555
and his two kids.
247
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:11,818
Jones:
My, they're well-behaved.
248
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,950
A bit shy, perhaps.
249
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,909
And, finally,
the king himself.
250
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:18,650
Rhonda, how nice
to see you.
251
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,609
King Midas!
252
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:22,654
I'm Oklahoma Jones.
253
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:24,091
Are you nuts?
254
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:27,050
You wanna end up
like them?
255
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,748
[ gulps ]
Whoops.
256
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,880
Tell us what it's like
257
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,709
to be the richest man
in the world.
258
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,668
It's lonely at the top.
259
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:38,714
And I'm starving.
260
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,412
I haven't eaten
a thing in years.
261
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:43,980
You've got
to help him, Oklahoma.
262
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:47,114
Sure.
263
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:48,942
No job's
too challenging
264
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,639
for Oklahoma Jones.
265
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,510
There is
a magic coffee mug
266
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:54,469
that can lift
this curse.
267
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,210
But to get it,
you must go to...
268
00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:59,039
the Tomb of Dishware.
269
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,692
[ all gasp ]
270
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:03,913
[ together ]
The Tomb of Dishware?
271
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,263
I have to ponder this
for a while.
272
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:09,527
Isn't it about time
for a commercial break?
273
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,486
Bouquet:
Oklahoma Jones must never
274
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,836
leave the tomb alive.
275
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,752
I want that gold
for myself
276
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,755
and my gruesome
colleagues.
277
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,540
The gold is mine!
278
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:25,152
And as long as Midas
has the magic touch,
279
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:28,546
I'll have
an endless supply.
280
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,113
[ laughs ]
281
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:32,899
[ laughing ]
282
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,689
[ all grunting ]
283
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:46,173
Now, legend has it
284
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,696
that the entrance
to the Great Sphinx
285
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,219
is through the snout.
286
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,873
Hmm.
287
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,310
There must be a trick lever
around here somewhere.
288
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,662
[ yells ]
289
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:58,881
Yeow!
290
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,666
[ gasps, yells ]
291
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,237
[ slurps ]
292
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:08,673
[ fabric ripping ]
293
00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:11,633
Hey, what
are you doing?
294
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:13,461
I'm making a torch.
295
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:17,465
But that's
my smoking jacket.
296
00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:19,771
Be thankful I didn't
take your trousers.
297
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:35,787
[ gasps ]
298
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:44,318
Let's see, according to
my knowledge of hieroglyphics...
299
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:46,146
that inscription says...
300
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:49,540
"Play whatever
tune you wish,
301
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,543
but get it wrong
and you'll get squished."
302
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:53,849
Hmm...
303
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,851
why don't you try?
I've got a tin ear.
304
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,331
- [ clanks ]
- See?
305
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,246
I can't.
306
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,204
In these stories, the heroines
are supposed to
307
00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,684
scream a lot
and act scared.
308
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,427
[ rattling ]
309
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,301
We're gonna be crushed!
310
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:15,044
Oklahoma,
do something!
311
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,828
You might remember
this next number
312
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:19,353
from a long time ago
and far, far away.
313
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:22,225
[ rattling ]
314
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,621
Well, at least we'll
all have thinner thighs.
315
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:30,277
My thighs are fine,
thank you. Try again.
316
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,715
[ rattling ]
317
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:39,634
Brit:
Well, Okie...
318
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,766
here we are
in the Tomb of Dishware.
319
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:45,118
Now it's time for you
to face massive danger
320
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,642
and get the magic mug.
321
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:49,731
- Says who?
- [ gun cocks ]
322
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:52,690
- Bouquet: Says me, Okie.
- [ screams ]
323
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:55,955
How nice of you
to show up, Mr. Jones.
324
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:59,828
Now you can risk your life
to get the mug for us.
325
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:02,396
Couldn't I just
wash your car instead?
326
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:03,658
Get going.
327
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:09,185
Um, according
to my thesis,
328
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:10,578
to reach the tomb,
329
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:12,884
one must solve
three riddles.
330
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:14,190
The first,
331
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:16,714
"What lays eggs
and goes quack?"
332
00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:18,151
Hmm.
333
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,935
A chicken?
334
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,807
Nah, a chicken goes...
[ clucks ]
335
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,200
A parrot?
336
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:27,203
Nah, a parrot goes,
"Polly want a cracker?"
337
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,773
Okie, duck!
338
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,688
Yeah, that's it.
Duck.
339
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:36,386
Boy, I bet you played
a mean game of charades.
340
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:39,041
[ together ]
No, stupid!
341
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,434
Duck!
342
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:41,826
[ gasps, yells ]
343
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:45,047
What ho!
344
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,657
Flying saucers.
345
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:55,536
Hopscotch,
my favorite.
346
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,408
To pass safely,
347
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:00,715
you must correctly
spell the word
348
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,760
"Encyclopedia."
349
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,024
How come it's never
a word like "cat"?
350
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,114
E.
351
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:10,116
Whew.
N.
352
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,380
Hey, I'm pretty
good at this.
353
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:15,382
If we ever
get out of this alive,
354
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,688
remind me to enter
a spelling bee.
355
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,081
Where was I?
356
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,952
Oh, yeah,
"Encyclopedia."
357
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:24,391
E-N-S...
358
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,698
whoa!
359
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,570
- [ gasps ]
- I say...
360
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,441
do you think I
could have his hat?
361
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,793
From now on,
I'm sticking to board games.
362
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:39,101
[ grunts ]
363
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,762
This is the toughest
challenge of all.
364
00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:50,591
You must believe
that you can walk
across this chasm
365
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:53,246
on your own
imaginary bridge.
366
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,734
So long, good-bye,
adios, I'm outta here.
367
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:06,128
I may take a lot of ridiculous,
near-fatal risks,
368
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,173
but I'm not stupid.
369
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,308
I see a bridge.
370
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,570
Don't you see a bridge?
371
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,703
And what
a lovely bridge it is.
372
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:23,450
One small step for man,
373
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:25,756
hopefully not
one giant fall for me.
374
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,238
Hey, it works!
375
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,679
Solid construction.
376
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:37,594
I guess the trick
to this believing thing
377
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,857
is to be 100% sure.
378
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,207
But I wonder
what would happen
379
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,165
if I had just
the teeniest bit of doubt.
380
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,514
Whoa!
381
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:46,647
I believe, I believe!
382
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:49,302
♪ I'm dreaming
to dream ♪
383
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:51,217
♪ The impossible
dream... ♪
384
00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:54,524
Oof.
385
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,365
Well, it's about time.
386
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:13,152
I opened this lousy shop
700 years ago
387
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:15,328
and finally a customer.
388
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,157
Why open a shop
in the middle of a sphinx?
389
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,941
The rent was cheap.
390
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,856
That's the last time
I feed somebody
391
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:23,205
a straight line.
392
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,338
Excuse me, I'm looking
for a magic mug,
393
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,992
preferably
dishwasher-proof.
394
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:29,951
Magic mugs?
395
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,735
I got a million of 'em.
396
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,391
Sol:
But choose wisely.
397
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:39,482
Only one will remove
the Midas touch.
398
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,920
And the others will do
who knows what.
399
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:45,793
Bouquet:
Thank you for leading me
to the magic mug,
400
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,795
Professor Jones.
401
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,492
What do you
want with it?
402
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,146
You don't have
the Midas touch.
403
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,541
Yes, but with Midas
under my power,
404
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,631
I'll be the richest man
in the world.
405
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,067
Now hand me the mug
406
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:02,462
so I can smash it
into a thousand pieces.
407
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:03,854
[ laughs ]
408
00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,639
Sol:
Remember...
409
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:07,249
choose wisely.
410
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,426
You win, Bouquet.
411
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:11,993
But before
you smash it,
412
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:14,169
allow me to toast
your victory.
413
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,997
But, Oklahoma,
414
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,955
how can you give in
so easily?
415
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:20,044
It's been a long day.
I'm tired.
416
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,568
We'll have
plenty more adventures.
417
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,584
Hmm, I guess Midas
isn't the only one
418
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,847
with the golden touch.
419
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,109
Maybe this
is what they mean
420
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:42,980
by a hardened
criminal.
421
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:46,941
You interested in
some solid gold bad guys?
422
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:50,118
- [ rumbling ]
- All: Whoa!
423
00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:52,120
It's Cartier.
424
00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:54,296
He's angry that
we're tampering with forces
425
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,429
that we cannot
comprehend.
426
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:57,865
Boy, I'd hate
to see him
427
00:20:57,908 --> 00:21:00,171
after he gets
a parking ticket.
428
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:02,435
Let's get
out of here.
429
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:04,828
That's it.
Run away.
430
00:21:04,872 --> 00:21:07,048
Eh, you kids today.
431
00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,529
Make a mess and leave
the cleaning up for me.
432
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:14,273
The magic mug.
433
00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:15,665
You found it.
434
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,101
Drink all you want, king.
435
00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:18,581
It's decaf.
436
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:23,064
I'm cured!
437
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,376
What took you so long,
438
00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:32,073
you no-good,
lousy bum?
439
00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:34,205
And why didn't you
ever polish me?
440
00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:36,033
I want my allowance.
441
00:21:36,077 --> 00:21:37,731
[ crying ]
442
00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:40,908
Boy, does she need
a diaper change.
443
00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:42,692
Ah...
444
00:21:42,736 --> 00:21:45,826
the soothing voices
of my loving family.
445
00:21:45,869 --> 00:21:48,002
You know, Okie,
446
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:49,786
it's about time
we started raising
447
00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:51,092
a family of our own.
448
00:21:51,135 --> 00:21:53,268
Family, suburbs,
449
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,836
the old nine-to-five
thing...
450
00:21:55,879 --> 00:21:58,795
Hey, Rhonda, watch out
for that boulder.
451
00:21:58,839 --> 00:22:01,145
What boulder?
I don't see any boulder.
452
00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:05,759
Okie, where are you?
453
00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:07,891
Okie, come back!
454
00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:09,893
I'll get your hat cleaned
for you, Okie.
455
00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:12,592
Wait!
456
00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:16,596
- ♪ Gordon, send us...
- ♪ Oh, send us...
457
00:22:16,639 --> 00:22:21,731
♪ Into outer space
458
00:22:21,775 --> 00:22:24,560
♪ 'Cause there ain't
nobody like you ♪
459
00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:32,176
♪ In the Melmacian race
460
00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:35,658
♪ Teach us, Gordon
461
00:22:35,702 --> 00:22:38,487
♪ Make us twitch.
462
00:22:40,315 --> 00:22:41,969
Hah!
I kill me!
30714
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