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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:03,394 [ orchestral music plays ] 2 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:07,007 [ announcer speaks ] 3 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,141 [ arrows whizzing ] 4 00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,775 Hi. Gordon here. 5 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:39,387 You know, on "ALF Tales," I've had some great parts-- 6 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:43,869 princes, kings, adventurers, explorers. 7 00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:46,481 Okay, so some parts weren't that great. 8 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,484 - [ loud crash ] - But this is the first story 9 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,964 that really and truly happened to me. 10 00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:54,010 Honest. Would I lie? 11 00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:58,101 [ horn honks ] 12 00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,929 Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 13 00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,105 Melmacian goes over the rainbow and back! 14 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:09,982 What about the rumor that the Wicked Witch had a nosejob? 15 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:13,029 Is it true that the Wizard of Oz's 16 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,987 favorite food is frozen Snickers? 17 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,512 Yo, guys, easy on the flash. 18 00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,253 I'm beginning to see auras. 19 00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:21,385 Mr. Shumway, please tell us-- 20 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,126 [ mimics reporter ] How did it all happen? 21 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,520 I thought you'd never ask. 22 00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:28,262 It all started back on the farm in East Velcro. 23 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:32,092 A little harp music for the flashback, guys. 24 00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:34,224 [ harp trilling ] 25 00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:37,662 Those were the days before color TV. 26 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,410 I was selling encyclopedias. 27 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,673 It was the year of the dust bowl. 28 00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,851 It was also the year of the Great Depression. 29 00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,071 Well, not great. Maybe just adequate. 30 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,638 [ knocks ] 31 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:01,947 Encyclopedias were my life and I knew all the tricks. 32 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:05,081 Whoa! [ grunts ] 33 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,737 But I wanted more from life than sore feet... 34 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,652 like my own TV show. 35 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:13,568 I wanted adventure. I wanted exotic. 36 00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:18,007 I wanted those hula girls. 37 00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:22,664 [ sighs ] I couldn't even score in my dreams. 38 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:26,276 In those days, I lived on a farm with Ma and Pa, 39 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,540 my brother Curtis, and Skip and Rick, 40 00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,238 who worked the farm with us. 41 00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,196 - [ all panting ] - [ clucking, squawking ] 42 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,417 But I'd had enough of the farm. 43 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,290 Of course, I'd miss my animal friends. 44 00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:44,033 And it was hard to leave my true love Rhonda Jean. 45 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:51,171 I almost forgot our neighborly next-door neighbor. 46 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,958 It was my last night at home. 47 00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,396 Boy, did Ginger look cute. 48 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,662 [ shrieks, static ] 49 00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,577 This is Bryant Gum-ball 50 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:09,101 sitting in for my best friend Willard Scotty. 51 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,929 We have a late-breaking tornado alert 52 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,149 for the Greater Velcro metropolitan area. 53 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,673 - [ all laugh ] - Gordon's voice: We thought it was only a joke. 54 00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:26,162 [ wind howling ] 55 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,474 [ neighbor cackling ] 56 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,087 [ groans ] 57 00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:42,396 [ yells ] 58 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,485 Gordon's voice: Hold it. Hold everything! 59 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,922 - [ brakes screech ] - This is just a joke, right? 60 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,924 I'm not really gonna crash-land, right? 61 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:52,057 I still haven't recovered from that crash landing 62 00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,842 in "Hansel and Gretel." 63 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,757 [ resumes yelling ] 64 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,287 [ grunts ] 65 00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,597 And people say I'm off my rocker. 66 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:10,859 Hah! 67 00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,077 [ object whizzing ] 68 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,601 Didn't we just do this bit? 69 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,124 Ow, ow, ow! 70 00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,613 Next time, I'm going to fly business class. 71 00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,876 Man: Hey, this is a heavy scene. 72 00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:31,619 You just squashed one of our resident wicked witches, man. 73 00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,751 Sorry about that. 74 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:36,798 You see, I was trying to find Culligan's Island. 75 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,452 I guess I missed, huh? 76 00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,584 Well, I bet my luggage is there. 77 00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:42,412 Say, who are you? 78 00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,849 I'm yours. You are mine. 79 00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,764 You are what you are. 80 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,897 Why do I feel like I'm in a time warp? 81 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:52,292 Because, man, this is the land of Oz. 82 00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,206 Oz? Does this mean 83 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,208 I have to sing a bunch of corny songs? 84 00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:59,037 No, but this is the Mellow Brick Road. 85 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,256 Good place to crash. 86 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,693 "Mia casa ey tu casa" 87 00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:04,391 and all that jazz. 88 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,131 [ woman cackling ] 89 00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,960 What was that? 90 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,223 You guys been eating too many burritos or something? 91 00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,790 Oh, no. 92 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,618 You say hello 93 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:17,012 and I'll say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 94 00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:23,671 Ahh. So, my little Milk Dud, I have found you at last. 95 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:26,238 Not only do you total my dear sister, 96 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:29,198 but you steal her sneakers. Hand them over. 97 00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:32,636 Why do I get the feeling I'm not in East Velcro anymore? 98 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,336 You look familiar. Didn't I sell you an encyclopedia? 99 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:39,251 Flattery will get you nowhere. 100 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,645 Maybe I've seen your picture at the post office. 101 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,995 No. That's the president. 102 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:47,564 Now quit stalling. Hand over those sneakers right now 103 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,827 or I'll turn you into a chicken nugget. 104 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,046 [ clucks ] 105 00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,482 What did you say your name was? 106 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:56,834 Witch. Wicked Witch to you, my little Jujube. 107 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,967 Now let's have those ruby hi-tops 108 00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:02,013 or I'll turn your little munchie friends into trees! 109 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:05,539 He's partial to sandalwood if you can arrange it. 110 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,672 Now where are those alleged sneakers? 111 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:11,545 On your toes, genius. 112 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:14,896 Hey, that's an unusual plot twist. 113 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:18,508 I'm sure I was barefoot when I came out of the shower. 114 00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,119 Okey-doke. Enough small talk. 115 00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,426 Abracadabra. 116 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,297 Hay fever sneeze. 117 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,212 Turn these weird midgets 118 00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:29,389 into trees! 119 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,741 - [ buzzing ] - Oh, drat. 120 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:34,742 Not again. 121 00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:37,353 I ask for trees and get bees. 122 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,573 And last week, I tried to turn a prince 123 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:43,011 - into a stone and he became a phone. - [ yells ] 124 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,274 I hope he has call-waiting. 125 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,145 It's those shoes. 126 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:49,452 Without them, my spells never work. 127 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:52,150 And my triathlons aren't the same either. 128 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,502 There goes the ozone layer. 129 00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:59,027 Now get naked from the ankles down 130 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,856 or I blast you to cartoon heaven. 131 00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:04,989 They won't come off! 132 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,426 [ grunts ] 133 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,993 Shoehorns. Never leave home without one. 134 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,737 [ sneezing ] 135 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,002 Ooh, now you've done it. 136 00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:20,265 You give me back those hi-tops, 137 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,311 my little wonton. 138 00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,228 Or I'll make sure you get blisters 139 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:29,144 and bunions and corns. 140 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:32,539 Blisters and bunions and corns! Oh my! 141 00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:35,846 Wait a minute. We can't end the act without an evil cackle. 142 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,675 [ Witch cackles ] 143 00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,635 [ Gordon grunting ] 144 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,638 [ loud zapping ] 145 00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,776 I thought this was the season of the witch? 146 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,386 [ loud thuds ] 147 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:58,869 Maybe you should consider switching to Top-Siders. 148 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,393 [ motorcycle engine revs ] 149 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,874 I'll get those hi-tops back 150 00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,660 if I have to turn you into a cough drop. 151 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,445 [ engine roars ] 152 00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,361 Whoa! [ grunts ] 153 00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,800 As long as she doesn't call me her little wonton again. 154 00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:20,978 So give me a hint. I gotta get out of this place 155 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,850 if it's the last thing I ever do. 156 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:26,331 Did he say "pastrami on rye with mustard" 157 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,769 or "go see the wonderful Wizard of Oz"? 158 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,033 The Wizard it is. 159 00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,774 But how do we find him? 160 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:37,168 Man, do you think we'd be so short if we knew? 161 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:41,956 Man, don't be swattin' that bee. 162 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,480 He ain't heavy, but he's my brother. 163 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,572 Why do I have the feeling that this story 164 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,314 could become very short and very ugly? 165 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,839 Now, now, my little munchies, 166 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:58,450 that is no way to treat a visitor to Oz. 167 00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:02,411 Wow. This must be Culligan's Island after all. 168 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:05,719 I could flip for a dame with a sweet snout like yours. 169 00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,764 [ giggles ] Oh dear. 170 00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:10,114 - [ grunting ] - I'm not that kind of girl. 171 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,682 Unfortunately. 172 00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:15,293 Oh. Well, what kind of girl are you? 173 00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:16,991 The Good Witch kind. 174 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,036 But I think I can help you find the man 175 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,603 who will answer all your questions. 176 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,605 You mean The Great Carnac? 177 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:24,433 No, the Wizard! 178 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:27,044 You just follow the Mellow Brick Road, 179 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,220 make a right at the Enchanted Forest, 180 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,571 hang a Louie at the Poppy-Tart Field, 181 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:34,095 and truck right up to Cubic Zirconia City. 182 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,488 Maybe you could lead me there yourself. 183 00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,012 [ giggles ] 184 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:40,580 Sorry. I've got more good deeds to do. 185 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,798 But you can't miss it. 186 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,626 Just remember... 187 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,802 follow the Mellow Brick Road. 188 00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:48,196 Follow the Mellow Brick Road. 189 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,285 Confusing directions. 190 00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,722 If I only had a little dog to show me the way. 191 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,811 [ trills ] Now run ♪ along. 192 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:58,336 And whatever you do, don't take off those ruby hi-tops. 193 00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,121 They're extraordinarily, 194 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:03,385 astonishingly, bewilderingly powerful. 195 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:05,953 And they weren't cheap. 196 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,870 I thought there was supposed to be 197 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:12,133 more of a love interest in this story. 198 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:14,178 I didn't even get the address of her castle. 199 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,181 Dateless and desperate again. 200 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,836 Oh well. I guess I'm off to see the Wizard. 201 00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:24,798 [ Witch cackling ] 202 00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,629 So my little turnip thinks 203 00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:31,935 he'll just waltz to the Wizard for help, 204 00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:33,502 does he? 205 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,852 Open sesame 206 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,680 with noodles lo mein. 207 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,290 Make Gordy fall 208 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,162 and writhe with pain. 209 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,692 I said pain, not rain! 210 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,563 Oh, if only I had 211 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,696 those ruby hi-tops. 212 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,003 Funny. Bryant Gum-ball didn't say anything 213 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,613 about a torrential downpour. 214 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,138 [ grunts ] 215 00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,712 Wow. 216 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,801 Panorama-vision! 217 00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,760 She wasn't kidding about the tennies. 218 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:18,634 We're the new folk singing sensation-- 219 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,854 - Tin... - Straw... 220 00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,507 And F-f-fur. 221 00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,901 But we can't seem to get a gig. 222 00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,598 I can see why. 223 00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:29,297 Well, according to the short guys down the road, 224 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,603 there's this Oz guy and-- 225 00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,127 You're going to see the Wizard? 226 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,303 Yeah, the wonderful Wizard of Oz. 227 00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,436 Okay, I said it. I didn't want to, 228 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,873 but it just slipped out. 229 00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,310 C-c-could we come along? 230 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:45,922 I don't see why not. Let me just take a look here in the script. 231 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,445 Here it is. 232 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,186 "Gordy, Tin, Straw, and Fur 233 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,101 go off to see the Wizard together, 234 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,799 but then suddenly"-- 235 00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,757 S-s-suddenly what? 236 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:58,239 Oh, I'm so afraid. 237 00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:01,633 Well, it says here that "the sky abruptly blackens 238 00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:04,767 as hundreds of biker cats descend... 239 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,987 swooping down with their claws." 240 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:11,469 [ all three yell ] 241 00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,210 [ grunts ] 242 00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,301 Oh, great. Without the script, 243 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,477 we'll have to improvise the rest of the story. 244 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,523 This could be an animation first. 245 00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:24,961 Help! 246 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,833 Or words to that effect. 247 00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:33,187 Excuse me. 248 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,276 Are you serving dinner on this flight? 249 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:37,974 I could go for a tabby puff pie about now. 250 00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,980 Hey, this is great. 251 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,677 And I thought those ruby hi-tops 252 00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,636 were just a cliché plot device. 253 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,031 Get ready for extremely low visibility, furbrain. 254 00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:57,820 [ yells ] 255 00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,823 Geronimo! 256 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,002 Look, a falling star. 257 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,874 He's not that big. 258 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,658 He hasn't even been in a movie. 259 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,315 Oh my. 260 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,710 [ spits ] This is the last straw. 261 00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:21,365 Tin: Why are you always falling to pieces? 262 00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,324 I thought we worked on that in therapy. 263 00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:26,196 Where the hay are we? 264 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,590 [ stammering ] Helplessly hoping 265 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,680 and hopelessly lost. 266 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,725 Phew. 267 00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:36,554 Oh, we'll never see the Wizard now. 268 00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,121 What will we do? 269 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:40,645 Don't worry. There'll be a new credit card 270 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:43,039 waiting for you at your hotel. 271 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:46,390 Why am I the one who always has to get us out of these jams? 272 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,871 Why can't I be rescued for a change? 273 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,830 I ask you, why is it always me? 274 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,876 Good. Go with that feeling. Get your anger out. 275 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,747 You have to do something. 276 00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,445 You're the one with the ruby hi-tops. 277 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,751 Hmm. You got a point. 278 00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:01,623 Okay, everyone hold on. 279 00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,278 [ tires screeching ] 280 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:08,412 Gordon: Whoa. Psychedelic. 281 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:11,763 Cubic Zirconia City, here we come. 282 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,331 [ tires screech ] 283 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,072 [ all three yell ] 284 00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,291 [ loud thud ] 285 00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,597 Fur: T-t-there it is! 286 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,469 Tin: Cubic Zirconia City! 287 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,141 Gee, I've always wanted to play the palace. 288 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:44,579 Man's voice: Yo, Theo. 289 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,407 Is that you? 290 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,149 Well, sir, Your Wizardliness, 291 00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:51,368 we came to ask for some help. 292 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:55,416 Now who might that voice be connected to? 293 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:58,114 Is this about the frozen Jell-O pops? 294 00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:01,291 - Or what? - All three: Help! 295 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:05,121 Listen, we've been getting the runaround for the last two and a half acts. 296 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,732 We're mad as heck and we're not gonna take it anymore. 297 00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,954 Yeah, man. Put up your d-d-dukes. 298 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,304 Put up your duchesses-- 299 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,480 [ gruffly ] Hey, hey, hey! 300 00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:18,656 Cool it, boys. 301 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,181 Wow, it's you. 302 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,834 What happened to Oz? 303 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:25,011 It went out with the '60s. 304 00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:27,143 Gordon: You've got to help us. 305 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,276 The Wicked Witch is after us and-- 306 00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,974 Relax. I know the whole story. 307 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:34,890 My agent read it to me over the phone. You know what I'm saying? 308 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,500 Then you'll help us? 309 00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,938 Tell your peoples to call my peoples. 310 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,244 But if you want to speed things up, 311 00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:44,334 you've got to get the Witch's Harley-Broomstick. 312 00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,509 [ chuckles ] 313 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:49,209 C-c-couldn't we just get her DustBuster? 314 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:51,428 I said it once, guys, 315 00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,996 and I won't say it again. 316 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,956 The Wizard has spoken. 317 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,311 How will we ever find the Wicked Witch 318 00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,530 when we can't find ourself? 319 00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,532 Tin: Look! 320 00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:11,013 Gee, you ever have the feeling 321 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,928 that you're walking into a trap? 322 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,420 Not a bad place for the home 323 00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:28,074 of a hideously deformed woman. 324 00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,947 - Yikes! - [ all clamor ] 325 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,995 Well, my little snow cones, 326 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,735 I think it's time 327 00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:40,042 we made a little stew, don't you? 328 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:43,350 Gee, don't you think stew is a little heavy for this time of year? 329 00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:48,224 I've had quite enough out of you, 330 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,618 my little tortilla chip. 331 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:53,273 And I'm running out of food names to call you. 332 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,451 Come, I have something to show you. 333 00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,844 Gordy? 334 00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:02,282 Gordy, where are you? 335 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:05,067 We miss you so much. 336 00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:07,026 I'll never see 337 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:10,246 my little Gordy again. [ wails ] 338 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:21,518 That's it, Witch. You've really got my dander up. 339 00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:24,565 By the way, what exactly is a dander? 340 00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,610 [ cackles ] 341 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:29,396 I challenge you to a game of basketball. 342 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:32,051 One-on-one. If I win, we go free 343 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,965 and you leave my beloved family alone. 344 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:36,098 And if you lose? 345 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,795 If I lose, I lose. 346 00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:41,712 Holy fungus, pimples, and warts. 347 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,411 Turn my castle to a basketball court. 348 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,198 Why do I think she's got the home court advantage? 349 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:52,027 Now what shall I use for a ball? 350 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,125 This will do nicely. 351 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,910 Oh great. A basketball with feathers. 352 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,089 Nice spandex. 353 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,317 All: Ooh. 354 00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,408 What's the matter, my little corn dog? 355 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:26,931 Distracted by my dribble? 356 00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,456 How about a hookshot? 357 00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,941 [ cackles ] 358 00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,943 Does she have to cackle after every point? 359 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,771 - Time-out, time-out. - [ buzzer blares ] 360 00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,338 Anyone got a bucket of Gatorade? 361 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,523 What have you done?! 362 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:56,004 Well, I think I've slipped a disc. 363 00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,138 Then again, maybe I gave myself a mild concussion. 364 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,140 [ cats clamoring ] 365 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:04,273 I'm not sure. 366 00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:05,927 [ stammering ] Oh my gosh, 367 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,451 she's melting. 368 00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:10,236 I'm melting. 369 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:14,196 Woe is me. I'm melting away! 370 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,504 What a terrible, terrible world. 371 00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,288 Ugh. 372 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,899 Gee, I've never seen someone turn into a puddle before. 373 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:24,119 Not a pretty sight. 374 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,948 You've done it. You melted the Wicked Witch! 375 00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:28,254 You're now the proud owner 376 00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,299 of the deluxe Harley-Broomstick, 377 00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,214 - leather saddlebags. - [ loud dings ] 378 00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:35,565 Wizard: Darling, would you please get the door? 379 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,132 Thank you very much. 380 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,961 That's not the doorbell. It's a music cue. 381 00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:42,485 That means the Witch is dead. 382 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,096 Well, guys, congratulations. 383 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,317 And for the utterly stupendous job you've done, 384 00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:51,146 you have the honor of a guest spot on my show. 385 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,539 What do you think of that? 386 00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:54,584 But we wanted to play with Paul and the Band. 387 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,847 Uh, excuse me, Your Wizardliness, 388 00:19:56,891 --> 00:20:00,111 O Cosmic Leader, O Mr. TV Cue. 389 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:03,376 Speak up, boy. I don't have all millennium. 390 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:07,336 Here I am at the railroad station 391 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:09,425 with a ticket for my destination. 392 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,775 Whoa, whoa. 393 00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:15,518 Home. I'd love to be homeward bound. 394 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:18,217 Okay. Okay, son, like they say, 395 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,176 there's no place like home. 396 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,397 - Who's "they"? - The folks at the network. 397 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,182 Who else? They have a surprise for you. 398 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:38,367 Dear, could you pass me the newspaper? 399 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:45,592 There's no place like Culligan's Island. 400 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:51,424 - ♪ Gordon, send us... - ♪ Oh, send us... 401 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:56,255 ♪ Into outer space 402 00:20:56,298 --> 00:21:01,738 ♪ 'Cause there ain't nobody like you ♪ 403 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:07,222 ♪ In the Melmacian race 404 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,269 ♪ Teach us, Gordon 405 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:12,662 ♪ Make us twitch. 406 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,971 Hah! I kill me! 28751

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