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1
00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:03,394
[ orchestral music plays ]
2
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:07,007
[ announcer speaks ]
3
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,141
[ arrows whizzing ]
4
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,775
Hi.
Gordon here.
5
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:39,387
You know, on "ALF Tales,"
I've had some great parts--
6
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:43,869
princes, kings,
adventurers, explorers.
7
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:46,481
Okay, so some parts
weren't that great.
8
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,484
- [ loud crash ]
- But this is the first story
9
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,964
that really and
truly happened to me.
10
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:54,010
Honest.
Would I lie?
11
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:58,101
[ horn honks ]
12
00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,929
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!
13
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,105
Melmacian goes
over the rainbow and back!
14
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:09,982
What about the rumor
that the Wicked Witch
had a nosejob?
15
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:13,029
Is it true
that the Wizard of Oz's
16
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,987
favorite food
is frozen Snickers?
17
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,512
Yo, guys,
easy on the flash.
18
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,253
I'm beginning
to see auras.
19
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:21,385
Mr. Shumway,
please tell us--
20
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,126
[ mimics reporter ]
How did it all happen?
21
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,520
I thought you'd never ask.
22
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:28,262
It all started back
on the farm in East Velcro.
23
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:32,092
A little harp music
for the flashback, guys.
24
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:34,224
[ harp trilling ]
25
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:37,662
Those were the days
before color TV.
26
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,410
I was selling
encyclopedias.
27
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,673
It was the year
of the dust bowl.
28
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,851
It was also the year
of the Great Depression.
29
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,071
Well, not great.
Maybe just adequate.
30
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,638
[ knocks ]
31
00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:01,947
Encyclopedias were my life
and I knew all the tricks.
32
00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:05,081
Whoa!
[ grunts ]
33
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,737
But I wanted more from life
than sore feet...
34
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,652
like my own TV show.
35
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:13,568
I wanted adventure.
I wanted exotic.
36
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:18,007
I wanted
those hula girls.
37
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:22,664
[ sighs ]
I couldn't even score
in my dreams.
38
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:26,276
In those days,
I lived on a farm
with Ma and Pa,
39
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,540
my brother Curtis,
and Skip and Rick,
40
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,238
who worked
the farm with us.
41
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,196
- [ all panting ]
- [ clucking, squawking ]
42
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,417
But I'd had enough
of the farm.
43
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,290
Of course, I'd miss
my animal friends.
44
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:44,033
And it was hard to leave
my true love Rhonda Jean.
45
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:51,171
I almost forgot our
neighborly next-door neighbor.
46
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,958
It was my last night
at home.
47
00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,396
Boy, did Ginger
look cute.
48
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,662
[ shrieks, static ]
49
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,577
This is Bryant Gum-ball
50
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:09,101
sitting in
for my best friend
Willard Scotty.
51
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,929
We have a late-breaking
tornado alert
52
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,149
for the Greater Velcro
metropolitan area.
53
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,673
- [ all laugh ]
- Gordon's voice: We thought
it was only a joke.
54
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:26,162
[ wind howling ]
55
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,474
[ neighbor cackling ]
56
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,087
[ groans ]
57
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:42,396
[ yells ]
58
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,485
Gordon's voice:
Hold it. Hold everything!
59
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,922
- [ brakes screech ]
- This is just a joke, right?
60
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,924
I'm not really gonna
crash-land, right?
61
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:52,057
I still haven't recovered
from that crash landing
62
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,842
in "Hansel and Gretel."
63
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,757
[ resumes yelling ]
64
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,287
[ grunts ]
65
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,597
And people say
I'm off my rocker.
66
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:10,859
Hah!
67
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,077
[ object whizzing ]
68
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,601
Didn't we just
do this bit?
69
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,124
Ow, ow, ow!
70
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,613
Next time, I'm going
to fly business class.
71
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,876
Man:
Hey, this is a heavy scene.
72
00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:31,619
You just squashed
one of our resident
wicked witches, man.
73
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,751
Sorry about that.
74
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:36,798
You see, I was trying
to find Culligan's Island.
75
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,452
I guess I missed, huh?
76
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,584
Well, I bet
my luggage is there.
77
00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:42,412
Say, who are you?
78
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,849
I'm yours.
You are mine.
79
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,764
You are what you are.
80
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,897
Why do I feel like
I'm in a time warp?
81
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:52,292
Because, man,
this is the land of Oz.
82
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,206
Oz?
Does this mean
83
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,208
I have to sing a bunch
of corny songs?
84
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:59,037
No, but this is
the Mellow Brick Road.
85
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,256
Good place to crash.
86
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,693
"Mia casa ey tu casa"
87
00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:04,391
and all that jazz.
88
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,131
[ woman cackling ]
89
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,960
What was that?
90
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,223
You guys been eating
too many burritos
or something?
91
00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,790
Oh, no.
92
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,618
You say hello
93
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:17,012
and I'll say
goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
94
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:23,671
Ahh. So, my little Milk Dud,
I have found you at last.
95
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:26,238
Not only do you total
my dear sister,
96
00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:29,198
but you steal her sneakers.
Hand them over.
97
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:32,636
Why do I get the feeling
I'm not in East Velcro anymore?
98
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,336
You look familiar.
Didn't I sell you
an encyclopedia?
99
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:39,251
Flattery will
get you nowhere.
100
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,645
Maybe I've seen your picture
at the post office.
101
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,995
No.
That's the president.
102
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:47,564
Now quit stalling.
Hand over those sneakers
right now
103
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,827
or I'll turn you
into a chicken nugget.
104
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,046
[ clucks ]
105
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,482
What did you say
your name was?
106
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:56,834
Witch.
Wicked Witch to you,
my little Jujube.
107
00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,967
Now let's have those
ruby hi-tops
108
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:02,013
or I'll turn your little
munchie friends into trees!
109
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:05,539
He's partial to sandalwood
if you can arrange it.
110
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,672
Now where are those
alleged sneakers?
111
00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:11,545
On your toes, genius.
112
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:14,896
Hey, that's
an unusual plot twist.
113
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:18,508
I'm sure I was barefoot
when I came out of the shower.
114
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,119
Okey-doke.
Enough small talk.
115
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,426
Abracadabra.
116
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,297
Hay fever sneeze.
117
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,212
Turn these weird midgets
118
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:29,389
into trees!
119
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,741
- [ buzzing ]
- Oh, drat.
120
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:34,742
Not again.
121
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:37,353
I ask for trees
and get bees.
122
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,573
And last week,
I tried to turn a prince
123
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:43,011
- into a stone
and he became a phone.
- [ yells ]
124
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,274
I hope he has
call-waiting.
125
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,145
It's those shoes.
126
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:49,452
Without them,
my spells never work.
127
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:52,150
And my triathlons
aren't the same either.
128
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,502
There goes
the ozone layer.
129
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:59,027
Now get naked from
the ankles down
130
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,856
or I blast you
to cartoon heaven.
131
00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:04,989
They won't come off!
132
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,426
[ grunts ]
133
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,993
Shoehorns.
Never leave home
without one.
134
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,737
[ sneezing ]
135
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,002
Ooh, now you've done it.
136
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:20,265
You give me back
those hi-tops,
137
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,311
my little wonton.
138
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,228
Or I'll make sure
you get blisters
139
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:29,144
and bunions
and corns.
140
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:32,539
Blisters and bunions
and corns! Oh my!
141
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:35,846
Wait a minute.
We can't end the act
without an evil cackle.
142
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,675
[ Witch cackles ]
143
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,635
[ Gordon grunting ]
144
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,638
[ loud zapping ]
145
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,776
I thought this was
the season of the witch?
146
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,386
[ loud thuds ]
147
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:58,869
Maybe you should consider
switching to Top-Siders.
148
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,393
[ motorcycle engine revs ]
149
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,874
I'll get
those hi-tops back
150
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,660
if I have to turn you
into a cough drop.
151
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,445
[ engine roars ]
152
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,361
Whoa!
[ grunts ]
153
00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,800
As long as she doesn't
call me her little
wonton again.
154
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:20,978
So give me a hint.
I gotta get out
of this place
155
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,850
if it's the last thing
I ever do.
156
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:26,331
Did he say
"pastrami on rye
with mustard"
157
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,769
or "go see the wonderful
Wizard of Oz"?
158
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,033
The Wizard it is.
159
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,774
But how do we find him?
160
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:37,168
Man, do you think
we'd be so short
if we knew?
161
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:41,956
Man, don't be
swattin' that bee.
162
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,480
He ain't heavy,
but he's my brother.
163
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,572
Why do I have the feeling
that this story
164
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,314
could become very short
and very ugly?
165
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,839
Now, now,
my little munchies,
166
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:58,450
that is no way
to treat a visitor to Oz.
167
00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:02,411
Wow. This must be
Culligan's Island after all.
168
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:05,719
I could flip for a dame
with a sweet snout
like yours.
169
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,764
[ giggles ]
Oh dear.
170
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:10,114
- [ grunting ]
- I'm not that kind of girl.
171
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,682
Unfortunately.
172
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:15,293
Oh. Well, what kind
of girl are you?
173
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:16,991
The Good Witch kind.
174
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,036
But I think I can
help you find the man
175
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,603
who will answer
all your questions.
176
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,605
You mean The Great Carnac?
177
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:24,433
No, the Wizard!
178
00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:27,044
You just follow
the Mellow Brick Road,
179
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,220
make a right
at the Enchanted Forest,
180
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,571
hang a Louie
at the Poppy-Tart Field,
181
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:34,095
and truck right up
to Cubic Zirconia City.
182
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,488
Maybe you could lead me
there yourself.
183
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,012
[ giggles ]
184
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:40,580
Sorry. I've got more
good deeds to do.
185
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,798
But you can't miss it.
186
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,626
Just remember...
187
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,802
follow
the Mellow Brick Road.
188
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:48,196
Follow the Mellow
Brick Road.
189
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,285
Confusing directions.
190
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,722
If I only had a little dog
to show me the way.
191
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,811
[ trills ]
Now run ♪ along.
192
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:58,336
And whatever you do,
don't take off those
ruby hi-tops.
193
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,121
They're extraordinarily,
194
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:03,385
astonishingly,
bewilderingly powerful.
195
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:05,953
And they
weren't cheap.
196
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,870
I thought there was
supposed to be
197
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:12,133
more of a love interest
in this story.
198
00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:14,178
I didn't even get
the address of her castle.
199
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,181
Dateless
and desperate again.
200
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,836
Oh well.
I guess I'm off
to see the Wizard.
201
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:24,798
[ Witch cackling ]
202
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,629
So my little turnip thinks
203
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:31,935
he'll just waltz
to the Wizard for help,
204
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:33,502
does he?
205
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,852
Open sesame
206
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,680
with noodles lo mein.
207
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,290
Make Gordy fall
208
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,162
and writhe with pain.
209
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,692
I said pain,
not rain!
210
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,563
Oh, if only I had
211
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,696
those ruby hi-tops.
212
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,003
Funny. Bryant Gum-ball
didn't say anything
213
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,613
about a torrential
downpour.
214
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,138
[ grunts ]
215
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,712
Wow.
216
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,801
Panorama-vision!
217
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,760
She wasn't kidding
about the tennies.
218
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:18,634
We're the new
folk singing sensation--
219
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,854
- Tin...
- Straw...
220
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,507
And F-f-fur.
221
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,901
But we can't seem
to get a gig.
222
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,598
I can see why.
223
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:29,297
Well, according
to the short guys
down the road,
224
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,603
there's this
Oz guy and--
225
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,127
You're going to see
the Wizard?
226
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,303
Yeah, the wonderful
Wizard of Oz.
227
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,436
Okay, I said it.
I didn't want to,
228
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,873
but it just slipped out.
229
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,310
C-c-could we
come along?
230
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:45,922
I don't see why not.
Let me just take a look
here in the script.
231
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,445
Here it is.
232
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,186
"Gordy, Tin,
Straw, and Fur
233
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,101
go off to see
the Wizard together,
234
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,799
but then suddenly"--
235
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,757
S-s-suddenly what?
236
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:58,239
Oh, I'm so afraid.
237
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:01,633
Well, it says here that
"the sky abruptly blackens
238
00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:04,767
as hundreds
of biker cats descend...
239
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,987
swooping down
with their claws."
240
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:11,469
[ all three yell ]
241
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,210
[ grunts ]
242
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,301
Oh, great.
Without the script,
243
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,477
we'll have to improvise
the rest of the story.
244
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,523
This could be
an animation first.
245
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:24,961
Help!
246
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,833
Or words
to that effect.
247
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:33,187
Excuse me.
248
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,276
Are you serving dinner
on this flight?
249
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:37,974
I could go for
a tabby puff pie about now.
250
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,980
Hey, this is great.
251
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,677
And I thought those
ruby hi-tops
252
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,636
were just a cliché
plot device.
253
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,031
Get ready for extremely low
visibility, furbrain.
254
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:57,820
[ yells ]
255
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,823
Geronimo!
256
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,002
Look,
a falling star.
257
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,874
He's not that big.
258
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,658
He hasn't even been
in a movie.
259
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,315
Oh my.
260
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,710
[ spits ]
This is the last straw.
261
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:21,365
Tin:
Why are you always
falling to pieces?
262
00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,324
I thought we worked
on that in therapy.
263
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:26,196
Where the hay are we?
264
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,590
[ stammering ]
Helplessly hoping
265
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,680
and hopelessly lost.
266
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,725
Phew.
267
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:36,554
Oh, we'll never
see the Wizard now.
268
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,121
What will we do?
269
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:40,645
Don't worry.
There'll be
a new credit card
270
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:43,039
waiting for you
at your hotel.
271
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:46,390
Why am I the one who
always has to get us
out of these jams?
272
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,871
Why can't I be rescued
for a change?
273
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,830
I ask you,
why is it always me?
274
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,876
Good.
Go with that feeling.
Get your anger out.
275
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,747
You have to do something.
276
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,445
You're the one
with the ruby hi-tops.
277
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,751
Hmm.
You got a point.
278
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:01,623
Okay,
everyone hold on.
279
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,278
[ tires screeching ]
280
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:08,412
Gordon:
Whoa. Psychedelic.
281
00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:11,763
Cubic Zirconia City,
here we come.
282
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,331
[ tires screech ]
283
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,072
[ all three yell ]
284
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,291
[ loud thud ]
285
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,597
Fur:
T-t-there it is!
286
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,469
Tin:
Cubic Zirconia City!
287
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,141
Gee, I've always wanted
to play the palace.
288
00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:44,579
Man's voice:
Yo, Theo.
289
00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,407
Is that you?
290
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,149
Well, sir,
Your Wizardliness,
291
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:51,368
we came to ask
for some help.
292
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:55,416
Now who might that voice
be connected to?
293
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:58,114
Is this about
the frozen Jell-O pops?
294
00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:01,291
- Or what?
- All three: Help!
295
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:05,121
Listen, we've been getting
the runaround for the last
two and a half acts.
296
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,732
We're mad as heck
and we're not gonna
take it anymore.
297
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,954
Yeah, man.
Put up your d-d-dukes.
298
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,304
Put up your duchesses--
299
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,480
[ gruffly ]
Hey, hey, hey!
300
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:18,656
Cool it, boys.
301
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,181
Wow, it's you.
302
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,834
What happened to Oz?
303
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:25,011
It went out
with the '60s.
304
00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:27,143
Gordon:
You've got to help us.
305
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,276
The Wicked Witch
is after us and--
306
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,974
Relax.
I know the whole story.
307
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:34,890
My agent read it to me
over the phone. You know
what I'm saying?
308
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,500
Then you'll help us?
309
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,938
Tell your peoples
to call my peoples.
310
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,244
But if you want
to speed things up,
311
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:44,334
you've got to get
the Witch's Harley-Broomstick.
312
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,509
[ chuckles ]
313
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:49,209
C-c-couldn't we
just get her DustBuster?
314
00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:51,428
I said it once, guys,
315
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,996
and I won't say it again.
316
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,956
The Wizard has spoken.
317
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,311
How will we ever find
the Wicked Witch
318
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,530
when we can't find
ourself?
319
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,532
Tin: Look!
320
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:11,013
Gee, you ever have
the feeling
321
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,928
that you're
walking into a trap?
322
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,420
Not a bad place
for the home
323
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:28,074
of a hideously
deformed woman.
324
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,947
- Yikes!
- [ all clamor ]
325
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,995
Well, my little snow cones,
326
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,735
I think it's time
327
00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:40,042
we made a little stew,
don't you?
328
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:43,350
Gee, don't you think
stew is a little heavy
for this time of year?
329
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:48,224
I've had quite enough
out of you,
330
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,618
my little
tortilla chip.
331
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:53,273
And I'm running out
of food names to call you.
332
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,451
Come, I have something
to show you.
333
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,844
Gordy?
334
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:02,282
Gordy, where are you?
335
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:05,067
We miss you so much.
336
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:07,026
I'll never see
337
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:10,246
my little Gordy again.
[ wails ]
338
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:21,518
That's it, Witch.
You've really got
my dander up.
339
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:24,565
By the way, what exactly
is a dander?
340
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,610
[ cackles ]
341
00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:29,396
I challenge you
to a game of basketball.
342
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:32,051
One-on-one.
If I win, we go free
343
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,965
and you leave
my beloved family alone.
344
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:36,098
And if you lose?
345
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,795
If I lose, I lose.
346
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:41,712
Holy fungus, pimples,
and warts.
347
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,411
Turn my castle
to a basketball court.
348
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,198
Why do I think she's got
the home court advantage?
349
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:52,027
Now what shall I use
for a ball?
350
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,125
This will do nicely.
351
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,910
Oh great.
A basketball
with feathers.
352
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,089
Nice spandex.
353
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,317
All: Ooh.
354
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,408
What's the matter,
my little corn dog?
355
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:26,931
Distracted
by my dribble?
356
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,456
How about a hookshot?
357
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,941
[ cackles ]
358
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,943
Does she have to cackle
after every point?
359
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,771
- Time-out, time-out.
- [ buzzer blares ]
360
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,338
Anyone got a bucket
of Gatorade?
361
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,523
What have you done?!
362
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:56,004
Well, I think
I've slipped a disc.
363
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,138
Then again, maybe I gave
myself a mild concussion.
364
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,140
[ cats clamoring ]
365
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:04,273
I'm not sure.
366
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:05,927
[ stammering ]
Oh my gosh,
367
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,451
she's melting.
368
00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:10,236
I'm melting.
369
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:14,196
Woe is me.
I'm melting away!
370
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,504
What a terrible,
terrible world.
371
00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,288
Ugh.
372
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,899
Gee, I've never seen
someone turn into
a puddle before.
373
00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:24,119
Not a pretty sight.
374
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,948
You've done it.
You melted the Wicked Witch!
375
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:28,254
You're now
the proud owner
376
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,299
of the deluxe
Harley-Broomstick,
377
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,214
- leather saddlebags.
- [ loud dings ]
378
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:35,565
Wizard:
Darling, would you
please get the door?
379
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,132
Thank you very much.
380
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,961
That's not the doorbell.
It's a music cue.
381
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:42,485
That means
the Witch is dead.
382
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,096
Well, guys,
congratulations.
383
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,317
And for the utterly
stupendous job you've done,
384
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:51,146
you have the honor
of a guest spot on my show.
385
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,539
What do you
think of that?
386
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:54,584
But we wanted to play
with Paul and the Band.
387
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,847
Uh, excuse me,
Your Wizardliness,
388
00:19:56,891 --> 00:20:00,111
O Cosmic Leader,
O Mr. TV Cue.
389
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:03,376
Speak up, boy.
I don't have all millennium.
390
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:07,336
Here I am at
the railroad station
391
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:09,425
with a ticket
for my destination.
392
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,775
Whoa, whoa.
393
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:15,518
Home. I'd love to be
homeward bound.
394
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:18,217
Okay. Okay, son,
like they say,
395
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,176
there's no place
like home.
396
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,397
- Who's "they"?
- The folks at the network.
397
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,182
Who else? They have
a surprise for you.
398
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:38,367
Dear, could you
pass me the newspaper?
399
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:45,592
There's no place
like Culligan's Island.
400
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:51,424
- ♪ Gordon, send us...
- ♪ Oh, send us...
401
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:56,255
♪ Into outer space
402
00:20:56,298 --> 00:21:01,738
♪ 'Cause there ain't
nobody like you ♪
403
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:07,222
♪ In the Melmacian race
404
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,269
♪ Teach us, Gordon
405
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:12,662
♪ Make us twitch.
406
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,971
Hah!
I kill me!
28751
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