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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:04,787 [ orchestral music plays ] 2 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:08,225 [ announcer speaks ] 3 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:11,968 [ arrows whizzing ] 4 00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:35,948 Welcome to a very special edition of "Alf Tales." 5 00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:38,255 Today I get to play that eternally young lad 6 00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,257 in green pantyhose. 7 00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:43,869 - Man: Dick Clark? - No, Peter Pan. 8 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,785 Hey, watch it! 9 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:53,227 Through the miracle of special effects, 10 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,185 you can't see the wires holding me up. 11 00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,360 Show 'em, boys. 12 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,541 Gordon: All the good people work for George Lucas. 13 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,065 Can we try that again? 14 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,850 Now where was I? 15 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:11,245 Oh, yes. London, in the early 1900s. 16 00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,812 The fog is as thick as pea soup. 17 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,167 [ tower bells ringing ] 18 00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,955 Prepare to meet thy doom, scallywag! 19 00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:28,740 When will you little terrors ever grow up? 20 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,568 Never! 21 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:32,353 Speak for yourself, shrimp. 22 00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:35,007 I can't wait to blow this joint. 23 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,923 Children, while your father and I are at the opera, 24 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,143 I want you to obey your governess. 25 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:44,147 And this time, no flushing her down the toilet. 26 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,149 Don't worry, Mummy, we'll be good. 27 00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,770 [ door closes ] 28 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,685 [ breathy squeal ] 29 00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:04,733 Prepare to meet thy doom, scallywag! 30 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,866 [ distant yelling ] 31 00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,392 [ crashing ] 32 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:18,094 Girl: Who are you, and what was wrong with the door? 33 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,140 I'm Peter Pan. 34 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:24,231 And this is Tinker Bell, my faithful fairy companion. 35 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:29,758 Say, you kids look like you know how to par-tay. 36 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,021 How about flying with me to Never Never Land 37 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,458 where you play all day, never have to grow up, 38 00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:36,591 and there's no sales tax? 39 00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,420 Right! 40 00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:43,250 But commercial air travel won't begin for another 20 years. 41 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,948 No problem. We don't need a plane. 42 00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:48,603 All we have to do is think wonderful thoughts. 43 00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,954 Watch. Ice cream is not fattening. 44 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,784 Er, blondes have more fun. 45 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,656 [ gasps ] 46 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,876 Tony Orlando and Dawn 47 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,313 are getting back together...? 48 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,707 I'm... toilet trained! 49 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,317 [ giggles ] 50 00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,450 Never Never Land, here we come! 51 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,981 Say, are you seeing anybody on a regular basis? 52 00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:21,026 I'd sure like having a swell babe like you 53 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,028 around our bachelor pad. 54 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:26,684 Sounds cool, but can't we lose the flying mutt? 55 00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:28,643 I'm allergic to fairy dust. 56 00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:31,211 [ growls ] 57 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,521 Ah-choo! 58 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,349 Boy: Hey, we're here! 59 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:47,488 Good evening, crew, and welcome to our show. 60 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:51,927 Tonight, like every night, we bring you that pirate of puns, 61 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,973 the man who knows every pirate joke on the Seven Seas, 62 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,672 let's have a big hand for the man with one hand, 63 00:03:57,715 --> 00:04:00,327 Shecky Hook! 64 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:03,068 [ applause, cheering ] 65 00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,209 [ feedback squeals ] 66 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,950 Good evening, everybody. 67 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:17,735 Hey, take my first mate, please. 68 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,955 [ beams creak, silence ] 69 00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:23,611 [ buzzes ] 70 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,961 [ pings ] 71 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,310 [ buzzes ] 72 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,269 [ applause, laughter ] 73 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:36,450 Hey, how many pirates does it take to screw in a light bulb? 74 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:40,367 Two-- one to steal it from the hardware store, 75 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,977 and the other to screw it in. 76 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,979 [ laughter ] 77 00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:47,417 And why aren't you laughing? 78 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,724 - [ feedback squeals ] - I heard Peter Pan 79 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,682 tell that joke last week. 80 00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:54,946 Men, feed this scoundrel to the sharks! 81 00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,212 But it's much funnier when you tell it! 82 00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:03,520 Pan, always Pan! 83 00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:06,218 That little runt who pushed me into the water 84 00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:09,265 so that crocodile could munch on my hand. 85 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,529 So the fool thinks he knows more jokes than I do. 86 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:16,403 Well, I think it's time I put an end to this. 87 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:19,710 I want Peter Pan fried! 88 00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,538 [ machine buzzing ] 89 00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:26,891 Captain, fairy alert! 90 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,459 Peter Pan and his pals at 12 o'clock high! 91 00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:31,809 - Battle stations! - [ alarm blares ] 92 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:35,726 Battle stations! This is not a drill! 93 00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,641 [ alarm blares ] 94 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,914 [ clicks, squeaks ] 95 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,613 [ fizzes ] 96 00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,707 Peter: Whoa-aa! 97 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,926 Peter, what's that? 98 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:04,407 It's either Captain Hook firing at us 99 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,278 or one nearsighted bowler. 100 00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,723 Tink, take our new pals to the Lost Boys. 101 00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,594 And take good care of them, 102 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,205 especially my main squeeze, Wendy. 103 00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,469 [ growls ] 104 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,958 Why, if it isn't Captain Hook. 105 00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,743 I heard you bombed in Vegas. 106 00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,788 No, I bombed Vegas 107 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,747 when they wouldn't laugh at my jokes. 108 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,665 G'day, mate. 109 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:48,451 Great Caesar's Ghost. It's Crocodile Dumbdee, 110 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,758 the lizard who lunched on my limb. 111 00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:52,412 That's me, mate. 112 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:55,676 Say, why don't you throw another hand on the barbie? 113 00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,069 [ yelling ] 114 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:12,344 Hey, Captain, did you hear about the croc 115 00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,911 who couldn't resist eating pirates? 116 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,609 I guess you could say he was "hooked." 117 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,567 [ laughs ] 118 00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,526 I'll get you yet, Pan, 119 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:22,093 as soon as I find out your home address. 120 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:24,444 Look, you flying fleabag, 121 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,446 when Peter and I start playing house, 122 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,099 I'm replacing you with a Shih Tzu! 123 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,754 Agh-- ugh... 124 00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,408 ah-choo! 125 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,891 Hey, Dean, ain't this the life? 126 00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:39,415 Spending every day hanging out on the corner, 127 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,765 checking out the babes in Never Never Land? 128 00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:43,506 [ stutters ] Y-You bet, Sammy. 129 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,508 Too bad there aren't any babes 130 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,032 in N-N-Never N-Never Land. 131 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,426 [ Tink whimpering ] 132 00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:58,478 Whoa, giant birds! What about 'em, Tink? 133 00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:02,003 Dean: Er, pan-- er, f-f-frying p-pan. 134 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,701 Er, pan for gold? 135 00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,268 Sammy: Peter Pan! 136 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,403 Er, a-a gun! 137 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,405 Er, Peter Pan and a gun. 138 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,277 I-I got it! 139 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,062 Peter Pan says, "Blow the big bird out of the sky." 140 00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,032 Ow! 141 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:35,166 [ squeals ] 142 00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:38,822 [ squeals ] 143 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,392 Hey, that's not a bird, 144 00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:45,307 it's a g-g-girl! 145 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,657 Wouldn't you know it? A babe finally comes to Never Land, 146 00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,311 and we shoot her. 147 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,226 [ screams ] 148 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,620 Lucky for you I was in the neighborhood. 149 00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,276 Peter, I owe you my life. 150 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,278 How can I ever pay you back? 151 00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:02,933 Just stick around and let the good times roll. 152 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,589 As for you, my fairy-weather friend, 153 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,157 I order you to go into the woods 154 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,246 and write "I'm a rotten fairy" 155 00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:12,726 100 times in the dirt. 156 00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,429 Where are we? 157 00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:22,474 I-I don't know. 158 00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:24,607 D-Do you know where we are, Sammy? 159 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:27,610 No, Dean, I never know where we are. We're lost. 160 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,612 Th-that's why they call us... 161 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,919 [ together ] The Lost Boys! 162 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:37,707 Well, here's our swingin' bachelor pad. 163 00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,622 Wendy: A tree house? 164 00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:47,674 Actually, it's more of a tree-penthouse. 165 00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:50,067 Now let's par-tay. 166 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:55,986 Hey, babe, we're low on dip. 167 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:59,860 Keep your tights on! I only got two hands! 168 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,341 Hey, it's about time. 169 00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:05,648 Ugh-hh! 170 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,694 I don't get it, Wendaroonie. 171 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:11,480 Since your first day here, you've been one cranky camper. 172 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,961 You mean when I had to wash your tights, vacuum the tree house, 173 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:16,572 and make all those peanut butter sandwiches with the crust cut off? 174 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,574 So what's the problem? 175 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,576 That's what babes are supposed to do. 176 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,623 That does it! I'm leaving! 177 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,712 But, Wendy, we need you. 178 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,366 You don't need me, you need a maid. 179 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,760 If you guys really want to get "babes," 180 00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,109 you're gonna have to grow up 181 00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:34,111 and leave Never Never Land. 182 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,636 G-G-Grow up? 183 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,029 Learn to take care of yourselves. 184 00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:41,858 Make a living and treat women like equals. 185 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:44,295 That's the kind of guy girls like. 186 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:46,733 Maybe we should grow up. Then we'll be able to get babes. 187 00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,693 Hold on. What about the good times? 188 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,261 Wake up and smell the cocoa, Peter. 189 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,916 Nobody comes to our parties except a couple of fairies 190 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,657 and squirrels from upstairs. 191 00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,920 W-We're out of here. 192 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,759 - ♪ The party's over. - [ bubbles ] 193 00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:21,898 Hmm? 194 00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,480 Smee, bring Mr. Bell-- 195 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,656 may I call you Tink? 196 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,918 [ fairy dust jingles ] 197 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:46,096 Bring Tink another round of meat. 198 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:49,796 You know, Tink, they say a fairy is a man's best friend... 199 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:53,060 until a woman comes into the picture. 200 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,802 Ah-hh... 201 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,151 choo! 202 00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,154 [ snorts ] 203 00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,373 I can help you, Tink. 204 00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:05,899 All you have to do is tell me where Peter lives, 205 00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:10,555 and I'll make that pesky Wendy watusi down the gangplank! 206 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,253 [ growls ] 207 00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:13,602 Don't you worry. 208 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,386 He won't lay a hand on Peter. 209 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,519 We like Peter. 210 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:19,651 Don't we, Smee? 211 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:22,176 We love him to pieces. 212 00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:24,091 Lots of pieces. 213 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:26,658 [ squeaks ] 214 00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,008 Now, where's the hideout? 215 00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,619 [ yips ] 216 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:34,536 Thank you, you pea-brained pixie. 217 00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:37,234 Smee, seize him-- I mean, her! 218 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:39,976 I mean-- er... whatever it is. 219 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,373 Ugh. 220 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,766 [ Tink barks ] 221 00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:51,858 Pan is mine! 222 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:57,124 W-Well, Peter, I-I guess this is good-bye. 223 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,778 It's been real. 224 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:01,824 But, guys, you can't grow up and leave me. 225 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,479 Sorry things didn't work out, Pete. 226 00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:07,090 If you get your life together and you're ready to make a commitment, 227 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,613 call me. 228 00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,844 Ah, excuse me, does this bus stop at London? 229 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,628 Man: Why, certainly, my dear. 230 00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:29,417 [ chuckles ] 231 00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,726 Hello, Dial-A-Maid? 232 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:37,512 - [ buzzing ] - Hang on, somebody's at the door. 233 00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,819 - [ buzzing ] - Yes? 234 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,038 Delivery for Mr. Pan from Wendy. 235 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,387 Sign here. 236 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:52,483 "Dear Peter, hanging out with you was a blast." 237 00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:53,745 [ package ticking ] 238 00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:56,966 Hmm... 239 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:59,099 by now, your friend Peter Pan 240 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:02,189 has received my complimentary bomb. 241 00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:06,454 Peter's much too clever to fall for one of your schemes. 242 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:10,066 Sh-she obviously hasn't known Peter very long. 243 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,938 And you kids are going to need 244 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,809 something to do with your lives. 245 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,420 Have you considered the piracy? 246 00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,292 There's travel, good benefits, 247 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,903 and the company of a few good men. 248 00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,950 No way, Hook. Becoming a pirate 249 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,517 would be a betrayal of everything Peter stood for. 250 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:27,736 All right. 251 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,913 Smee, toss them overboard! 252 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:33,873 I-I'll be a p-p-pirate! 253 00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,831 I'll be a pirate. 254 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,702 I've always wanted to be a pirate. 255 00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:40,227 Pirate, pirate, pirate! 256 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:43,230 Maybe you can scare them, Hook, but not me. 257 00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:45,188 I'll never be a pirate. 258 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:48,670 Of course you'll never be a pirate. You're a babe. 259 00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:51,673 Smee, the cleaning supplies. 260 00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:53,501 Start with the heavy artillery. 261 00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:56,025 And I want to see myself in those cannons. 262 00:14:57,592 --> 00:15:00,943 What is it with you guys in Never Never Land? 263 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:04,294 [ yells ] Clean this floating dump yourselves! 264 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:06,427 You try to be nice to people, 265 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,168 and where does it get you? 266 00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:09,909 Prepare to walk the gangplank! 267 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,129 Oh! 268 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,743 [ grunts ] 269 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,022 - Hmm, nice wrapping. - [ package ticking ] 270 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:38,024 And ticking, too. 271 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,764 Maybe it's a kitchen timer. 272 00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:41,462 I'm gonna need one of those 273 00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:42,942 now that I'm doing my own cooking. 274 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,641 Tink! 275 00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,121 [ slurps ] 276 00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,471 You're back! 277 00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:53,126 - Charades? - [ sputters ] 278 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,476 I'm game. 279 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,130 Now-- taking a nap. 280 00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:59,175 Come to think of it, I'm kind of tired. 281 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:01,873 [ ticking continues ] 282 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,181 Your kids. 283 00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,444 I didn't know you were married. 284 00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:09,577 Now, kids... oh, I've got it! 285 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,840 Napkins! 286 00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:15,365 I'll go to the store right away. 287 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:16,888 Not it, huh? 288 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:20,109 Let's see, "kid," "nap"-- I've got it! 289 00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,155 Wendy and the boys have been kidnapped! 290 00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:23,852 [ slurps ] 291 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,723 But if Wendy was kidnapped, 292 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,377 she couldn't have had time to send me this 293 00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:30,076 loudly ticking kitchen timer. 294 00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:33,079 Which means that this isn't a loudly ticking kitchen timer, 295 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,863 but a-- oh, boy! 296 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,521 [ blasts, rumbles ] 297 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:41,957 Yikes! 298 00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,835 Tink, speak to me. Tink! 299 00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,536 Hey, anybody got a spotlight out there? 300 00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:00,671 Poor Tink's got one paw in Fairy Heaven, 301 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,499 but you can help me save her. 302 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,501 All you've got to do is clap your hands 303 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:07,069 and say no to senseless violence 304 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,636 in fairy tales. 305 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:11,030 [ sparse clapping ] 306 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,902 Come on, kids. Think of what fairies have done for you, 307 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:17,123 like the Tooth Fairy-- all those quarters under your pillow? 308 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:20,039 [ applause ] 309 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,088 [ applause rising ] 310 00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:28,308 I can't hear you. 311 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,049 [ applause rising ] 312 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,963 [ meter buzzes ] 313 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:37,099 [ fanfare plays ] 314 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,841 Ah-choo! He's back! 315 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,148 Come on, Tink. We've got a big rescue scene to do. 316 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:50,504 I'll tell you what. 317 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,593 I'll do the cleaning, but no ironing. 318 00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:54,160 And I'm off Thursdays. 319 00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,468 Peter: Knock, knock. 320 00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:01,080 [ gasps ] Who's there? 321 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:03,691 Peter Pan. Who'd you expect, Mister Rogers? 322 00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:08,826 [ gasps ] 323 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:11,177 Gee, it worked for Errol Flynn. 324 00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:15,964 [ all gasp ] 325 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010 Par-tay! 326 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,275 [ screams ] 327 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,841 - [ razzes ] - Hah! 328 00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,671 Get down-- below, I mean. 329 00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:29,369 This is no place for babes. 330 00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,197 Oh, yeah? 331 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,937 Watch this! 332 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,766 Wha...? Oof! 333 00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,509 - What a woman! - [ snarls ] 334 00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,511 Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 335 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:44,253 You can't duel what you can't see. 336 00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,516 [ blades clang ] 337 00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:49,171 [ grunts ] 338 00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,652 [ squeals ] 339 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,741 - [ mast creaks ] - [ screams ] 340 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,178 [ boys laugh ] 341 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,311 [ panting ] 342 00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,051 [ yelling ] 343 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,843 [ snickers ] 344 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,853 [ clanging ] 345 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,209 Catch me if you can. 346 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:32,040 [ growls ] 347 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,912 Oh, all right. Come and get me. 348 00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:38,699 Now, let's see who can really par-tay. 349 00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:41,180 [ clanging ] 350 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,233 You may be okay with a sword, 351 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,757 but let's see how you are when it comes to comedy, 352 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,585 barnacle breath. 353 00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:58,197 Hit me with your best shot. 354 00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,505 When is a pirate like a baseball player? 355 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,250 [ clanks ] 356 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,252 When he's a Pittsburgh Pirate. 357 00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,907 Peter: Where does a pirate keep his gym clothes? 358 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,300 [ blades clanging ] 359 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,302 In Davy Jones' locker. 360 00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:17,738 [ clanging ] 361 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:18,826 [ plank creaking ] 362 00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:21,437 Why did the pirate cross the ocean? 363 00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,831 Why... I don't know. 364 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,574 To get to the other tide. 365 00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:29,837 - Hah! Bon voyage! - [ Hook screams ] 366 00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,145 G'day, mate. 367 00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:36,626 Welcome to the land down under. 368 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:38,149 [ Hook screams ] 369 00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:45,896 We won! This calls for a par-tay! 370 00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:52,033 Hey, come on. 371 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,861 We'll get a big keg of cat juice and... 372 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,777 I'll even make the dip myself, okay? 373 00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:59,170 Peter, it's time we went back. 374 00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:02,217 Our parents miss us, Michelle needs changing. 375 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,525 Besides, there are no shopping malls in Never Never Land. 376 00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:07,178 If that's what you want. 377 00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:09,137 What about you guys? 378 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:12,314 W-We're going back to sch-school 379 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,838 and have c-c-careers. 380 00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:17,363 Maybe even drive the big rigs. 381 00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:19,930 Looks like you and I are the last of the party animals. 382 00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:29,505 Oh, no. You're selling out, too? 383 00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:33,553 [ crickets chirping ] 384 00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:41,038 - Wendy? - Yes, Peter? 385 00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:43,606 I've been thinking about that growing-up stuff, 386 00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:45,391 and maybe you're right. 387 00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:48,263 - Really, Peter? - Absolutely. 388 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,787 I'm even thinking of going into business. 389 00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:57,228 Hey, Captain, I need two crocburgers and fries, 390 00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:58,795 on the double. 391 00:21:58,839 --> 00:22:01,537 - Coming right up. - [ sizzling ] 392 00:22:01,581 --> 00:22:04,758 Hey, people gotta eat. 393 00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:11,939 - ♪ Gordon, send us... - ♪ Oh, send us... 394 00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:16,900 ♪ Into outer space 395 00:22:16,944 --> 00:22:19,903 ♪ 'Cause there ain't nobody like you ♪ 396 00:22:22,297 --> 00:22:27,476 ♪ In the Melmacian race 397 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,566 ♪ Teach us, Gordon 398 00:22:30,610 --> 00:22:32,829 ♪ Make us twitch. 399 00:22:35,528 --> 00:22:37,181 Hah! I kill me! 27673

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