Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:11,185
Announcer: WITH...
2
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:16,538
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT
3
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:36,688
ISN'T THIS YOKEL
RUSTIC AND COLORFUL?
4
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:38,560
HE'S HERE BECAUSE
TODAY'S ALF TALE
5
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:41,302
IS BASED ON
THAT CLASSIC OLD FOLK SONG,
6
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,347
THE BALLAD
OF JOHN HENRY.
7
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:44,566
THE ORIGINAL JOHN HENRY
8
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:47,177
HAMMERED A PIECE OF STEEL
THROUGH SOLID ROCK
9
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:50,093
TO CLEAR TUNNELS
FOR THE RAILROAD.
10
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,574
[PLAYS GUITAR]
11
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:55,838
WE'RE UPDATING
THE STORY.
12
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,666
I'LL BE PLAYING
JOHN HENRY,
13
00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:00,103
BUT INSTEAD OF
THE ROCK-BASHING
MOUNTAIN MAN,
14
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,410
I'M THE WORLD'S
GREATEST CHEF,
15
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:05,152
A MAN WHO BELIEVES
YOU MUST PREPARE FOOD
16
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:06,631
WITH CARE AND PATIENCE
17
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:09,156
AND RESPECT FOR
YOUR INGREDIENTS.
18
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,853
WHAT ABOUT MY SONG?
19
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:13,203
WE'VE UPDATED THAT, TOO.
20
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,857
GORDON, DARLING,
ARE YOU READY?
21
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,860
MOM'S TEACHING ME
THE FINER POINTS
OF CHEFING.
22
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:21,124
I'LL SHOW YOU
MY SPECIAL FRUITCAKE.
23
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,518
UH, MOM, COULD WE
MAKE SOMETHING ELSE?
24
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,606
I'M ON A DIET.
25
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:28,131
OH, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THESE LYRICS.
26
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,741
I'VE GOT
ENOUGH PROBLEMS.
27
00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:31,308
GO BE RUSTIC
AND COLORFUL.
28
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:35,356
AND NOW, JOHN HENRY
AND HIS DOWN-HOME FAVORITES
29
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:38,620
ON THE EATIE GOURMET.
30
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:44,147
HOWDY. TODAY WE'RE GOING
TO MAKE WHAT I CALL
31
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,235
POOR MAN'S CATFISH.
32
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:48,238
USE ONLY FRESH CAT
AND FRESH FISH.
33
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,633
BUT FIRST, WE'VE GOT
TO CHOP UP OUR ONIONS,
34
00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:54,636
AND PEPPERS, AND CELERY.
35
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:58,161
PHEW! THAT TOOK FOREVER.
36
00:01:58,205 --> 00:01:59,858
I'M GETTING OLD.
37
00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,208
IT'S IMPORTANT TO USE
38
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,861
FRESH, ALL-NATURAL
INGREDIENTS.
39
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:05,429
NOW, I WANT YOU
TO CHOP THESE THINGS
BY HAND.
40
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,562
DON'T GO BORROWING
A CHAIN SAW
41
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:10,260
FROM THE LOCAL MANIAC.
42
00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,047
THERE.
43
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:16,658
NOW THAT'S
HOW I'D WANT TO BE SLICED
44
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,573
IF I WERE AN APPLE.
45
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,358
AND THAT'S JUST
ABOUT IT.
46
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,491
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT
THE FINISHING TOUCH.
47
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,885
YOU SHOULD
ADD A LITTLE FLOUR.
48
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,281
THERE YOU GO--
A LITTLE FLOWER.
49
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:35,851
THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY
ON THE EATIE GOURMET.
50
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:41,683
SORRY I'M LATE.
51
00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:42,945
I WENT OUT
FOR A COUPLE OF
52
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:46,688
NON-ALCOHOLIC
CHATEAU LALAND 1964s
53
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:47,993
WITH THE BOYS.
54
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,256
SOMETHING WRONG?
55
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,953
IT'S THIS SLICING
AND DICING.
56
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:52,259
IT IS SO TEDIOUS.
57
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:55,218
CAN'T WE BORROW
THE CHAIN SAW
FROM THE MANIAC?
58
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,437
I'M SURPRISED.
59
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,439
DON'T YOU KNOW
WHAT SEPARATES US
60
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,745
FROM THE LOWLY BEASTS
OF THE JUNGLE?
61
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,704
UM, SOMETIMES
WE GO BOWLING?
62
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:05,968
YES, THAT, AND OUR
SENSE OF ARTISTRY.
63
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:09,667
ONLY WE COULD DEVISE
THE FOUR BASIC
FOOD GROUPS.
64
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,452
AND ONLY WE
CAN COMBINE THEM
65
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:14,194
WITH SKILL
AND LOVING CARE.
66
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:17,762
YOU'RE RIGHT, JOHN.
67
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,677
SOMETIMES I LOSE SIGHT
OF THE BIG PICTURE.
68
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,811
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
69
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:23,899
HELLO?
70
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:24,987
HI, SID.
71
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,641
JOHNNY,
THE PRESIDENT
HAS ANNOUNCED
72
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:27,990
HIS ANNUAL
GOVERNOR'S BANQUET.
73
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,384
GREAT.
I'LL GET TO WORK
ON THE MENU.
74
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,995
WHOA. WE CAN'T
BE SURE THAT
THE PRES WANTS YOU.
75
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:36,520
BUT I'VE BEEN CHEF-IN-CHIEF
FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.
76
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,261
I STILL
HAVE TO CONFIRM.
77
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,871
WHAT'S A MANAGER
FOR, RIGHT?
78
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:41,917
TAKE CARE, KID.
79
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,051
SOME SERVE THEIR COUNTRY
ON THE BATTLEFIELD,
80
00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:48,053
OTHERS SERVE ON
THE SENATE FLOOR.
81
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,926
I SERVE ON PLATES.
82
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,029
HERE'S THE STUFF,
BOSS.
83
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,379
JUST A MOMENT, ETHAN.
84
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:13,383
THERE.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
85
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:17,692
A BIG SHEET
LYING ON THE FLOOR.
86
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:21,870
THE MOST BRILLIANT
MAD SCIENTIST BOSS
87
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,785
A GUY COULD
EVER HAVE?
88
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:26,309
I AM NOT MAD!
89
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,790
I'M JUST
A LITTLE ANGRY.
90
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,923
WELL, NOT ANGRY, REALLY.
91
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,098
I'M PEEVED.
92
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:35,100
NO! HERE IT IS.
93
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:36,624
I'M IRKED.
94
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:39,757
I AM AN IRKED SCIENTIST!
95
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:42,412
BECAUSE OF
THAT TIME YOU WENT
TO COOKING SCHOOL
96
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:43,587
WITH JOHN HENRY,
97
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:45,067
AND HE BECAME
THE WORLD'S
GREATEST CHEF,
98
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:45,937
AND YOU FLUNKED OUT?
99
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:49,114
YES. THAT'S IT
IN A NUTSHELL,
100
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:52,335
AND I MUST WORK
THROUGH MY IRKEDNESS
101
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:55,773
VIA DEEDS OF DESTRUCTION.
102
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,993
LET'S PROCEED.
103
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:10,832
ALL SET, BOSS.
104
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:15,750
READY TO MAKE
FOOD HISTORY, ETHAN?
105
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:18,448
OK.
106
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:20,624
READY.
107
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,634
EXCELLENT.
108
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,419
SHOULDN'T WE
TASTE IT, BOSS?
109
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,116
WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE
110
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,465
HOW IT TASTES?
111
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,640
WHAT MATTERS IS
112
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:40,383
PHASE ONE
OF MY MASTER PLAN
IS COMPLETE.
113
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:41,558
IS THAT
THE MASTER PLAN
114
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:42,994
WHERE YOU TAKE
OVER THE WHOLE
WORLD, BOSS?
115
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:48,435
I DON'T THINK
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
ALLUDING TO, REALLY.
116
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,480
REMEMBER? YOU TOLD ME
THIS MORNING.
117
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,483
PERHAPS I DO HAVE
LARGER AMBITIONS.
118
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:56,791
PERHAPS I DO WANT TO
PAY BACK JOHN HENRY
119
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,053
FOR SHOWING ME UP.
120
00:05:58,096 --> 00:06:02,013
PERHAPS I WOULD LIKE
TO RULE THE WORLD AS WELL!
121
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:04,538
BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.
122
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:08,411
PHASE TWO
OF THE MASTER PLAN--
123
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,718
MARKETING!
124
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:13,634
ARE YOU FED UP WITH MAKING
HOMEMADE MEALS
125
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,418
FOR YOUR FAMILY?
126
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,419
IS THIS YOU?
127
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:17,855
HELLO, DARLING.
128
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,770
SAY, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
SANDWICHES AGAIN?
129
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,686
SORRY, HONEY,
I'VE JUST HAD IT
WITH MAKING MEALS.
130
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,427
I WANT MORE
OUT OF LIFE.
131
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,515
WHAT CAN I DO
ABOUT IT?
132
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:28,518
I'M JUST
A REGULAR PERSON.
133
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:32,696
DON'T YOU WANT YOUR
LIFE TO BE LIKE THIS?
134
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,438
HELLO, DARLING.
SAY, WHAT'S
FOR DINNER?
135
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,832
GOURMET TEMPTATIONS
MADE QUICKLY AND EASILY
136
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,877
WITH THIS WONDERFUL
NEW DEVICE, DEAR.
137
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,966
IT'S CALLED
THE K-ART CHOPPER,
138
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,229
AND IT'S
CHANGED MY LIFE.
139
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,622
I'LL SAY.
140
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,276
YOU LOOK
MORE BEAUTIFUL
THAN EVER.
141
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,191
HERE. TAKE THIS
GREAT BIG
DIAMOND NECKLACE.
142
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:50,584
AND TO THINK,
143
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,587
I OWE IT ALL TO THIS,
THE K-ART CHOPPER.
144
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,459
YEAH, RIGHT,
AND I'M JULIA CHILD.
145
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,854
BUY MY MACHINE.
BUY MY MACHINE.
146
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:04,424
BUY MY MACHINE.
147
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,557
MR. KWISINE,
YOUR INVENTION
148
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,212
SEEMS TO HAVE TAKEN
THE COUNTRY BY STORM.
149
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:12,867
YOU AIN'T JUST
WHISTLING DIXIE.
150
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:15,173
SALES OF MY
K-ART CHOPPER
151
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:19,264
HAVE TRIPLED IN THE LAST
HOUR AND 1/2.
152
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,615
THREE OUT OF THREE HOMES
153
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:25,183
NOW OWN A K-ART CHOPPER.
154
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:26,968
DO YOU HAVE PLANS
TO EXPAND?
155
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,709
DEFINITELY.
156
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,233
HOW ABOUT DIVERSIFICATION?
157
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,800
CERTAINLY.
158
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,585
WHAT ABOUT
WORLD DOMINATION?
159
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,631
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
160
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:41,983
I JUST WANT
TO HELP PEOPLE.
161
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:43,593
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
162
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:44,725
YOU'RE RIGHT, JANE.
163
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,553
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT,
DARLING.
164
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:47,815
COULDN'T HELP BUT AGREE.
165
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,251
REPORTERS ARE FOOLS.
166
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:52,907
TELL THEM YOU DON'T INTEND
TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD--
167
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,604
HEH HEH HEH HEH!
168
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,651
AND THEY BELIEVE IT!
169
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:13,188
HEH HEH HEH!
170
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,977
NOW, YOU'LL WANT
TO BLANCH YOUR ALMONDS,
171
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,370
SO BOIL SOME WATER.
172
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,764
BLANCHING YOUR NUTS
CAN BE TROUBLESOME,
173
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,200
BUT IT'S WORTH IT.
174
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,638
AND THE K-ART CHOPPER
WILL MAKE JUST ABOUT
ANYTHING.
175
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:29,770
SAY YOU WANT TO PREPARE
176
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,119
THOSE CUCAMONGA
CHIMICHANGAS
177
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,903
THAT ARE
SO POPULAR THIS WEEK.
178
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:35,645
JUST POP IN
THE INGREDIENTS.
179
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,171
BUT THESE CUCAMONGA
CHIMICHANGAS
180
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,783
LOOK JUST LIKE
THE ANAHEIM AVOCADO SALAD.
181
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:45,829
EXACTLY. AND TASTES
LIKE IT, TOO.
182
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:50,051
AND MY TRADEMARK
TOMATO ROSE.
183
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,358
I MEAN, MY WIFE PUT IN
A COUPLE OF PAIR OF SOCKS.
184
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:57,145
AND BOOM! WE HAD THIS
FOUR-COURSE VEAL DINNER.
185
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,713
WELL, IT WAS LIKE VEAL.
186
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,149
AND A LITTLE HOT SAUCE,
187
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:03,760
WHICH MY CAMERAMAN
ERNIE ALWAYS LIKES.
188
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:04,892
RIGHT, ERN?
189
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,198
ERNIE? HELLO? HELLO?
190
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:09,679
THE BUSINESS
IS SLIPPING FAST--
191
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:10,680
SALES ARE DOWN,
192
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,073
THE RATINGS
ON YOUR SHOW ARE DOWN.
193
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,727
IT'S THIS KWISINE GUY.
194
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,598
I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THE BUSINESS.
195
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,905
WHAT MAKES ME MAD
IS THAT HE'S PUSHING
196
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:19,254
ARTIFICIAL, FORMULATED,
197
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,909
CHEMICAL-LADEN JUNK
ON GOOD PEOPLE.
198
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:24,041
JOHN,
I HAVE AN IDEA.
199
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,434
WHAT?
200
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,915
PUSH ARTIFICIAL, FORMULATED,
CHEMICAL-LADEN JUNK FOOD
201
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,003
ON GOOD PEOPLE, TOO.
202
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:31,135
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
YOU'LL STAY AFLOAT.
203
00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,181
ART KWISINE
IS BURYING YOU.
204
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,792
SID, I WANT YOU
TO GET ME FACE-TO-FACE
205
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:37,620
WITH KWISINE
ON LIVE TV.
206
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:38,708
I WANT TO TELL
THE PEOPLE
207
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:41,276
THAT EVERYTHING HE
STANDS FOR IS WRONG.
208
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:42,407
OK, JOHNNY, OK.
209
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:46,890
JUST PROMISE YOU
WON'T DO ANYTHING RASH.
210
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,938
GOOD EVENING,
I'M TNED KNOPPLE,
211
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,288
AND THIS IS NIGHT LIGHT.
212
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:56,421
WITH US IN OUR
LOS ANGELES STUDIOS
213
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:57,814
IS ART KWISINE,
214
00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:01,905
INVENTOR OF THE AMAZINGLY
SUCCESSFUL K-ART CHOPPER,
215
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,212
AND IN OUR RICHMOND,
VIRGINIA STUDIOS,
216
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:07,215
JOHN HENRY,
WORLD-FAMOUS CHEF
217
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,738
AND HAM-SLICING AUTHORITY.
218
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,654
ART KWISINE,
YOU'VE JUST ABOUT CHANGED
219
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,177
THE WAY WE ALL MAKE DINNER.
220
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,092
YES, I HAVE, TNED.
221
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:19,140
I'VE REMOVED
ALL THE UNNECESSARY STEPS.
222
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:21,272
YEAH, LIKE
STARTING WITH FOOD.
223
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:23,231
YOU'RE JEALOUS
BECAUSE PEOPLE
224
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,320
WANT THEIR MEALS
FROM THE K-ART.
225
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,235
YOU CALL
THAT STUFF MEALS?
226
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,280
I'D RATHER EAT
THE MACHINE.
227
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,282
I CAN ARRANGE THAT.
228
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,370
I WANT YOU,
KWISINE.
229
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:35,243
YOU HEAR ME?
YOU, YOU, YOU!
230
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,027
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,
MR. HENRY?
231
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:40,291
I WILL MEET YOU
ANYTIME, ANYWHERE,
FOR A COOK-OFF.
232
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:41,858
I'LL SHOW YOU
THE DIFFERENCE
233
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:45,079
BETWEEN
REAL VITTLES
AND YOUR ROBO-FOOD.
234
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,255
OOH...I--
235
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:49,126
I ACCEPT!
236
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,127
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
237
00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:52,129
WE'LL BE BACK
IN A MOMENT.
238
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,392
THIS IS GREAT.
239
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,445
GENTLEMAN AND GENTLEMACHINE,
240
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:07,362
EACH OF YOU IS TO PREPARE
AS MANY SIX-COURSE MEALS
241
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,799
AS YOU CAN IN HALF AN HOUR.
242
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,801
MAY THE BEST CHEF WIN.
243
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:15,718
FINALLY, MY CHANCE
TO SLICE, DICE,
244
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:20,157
HUMILIATE, AND
ELIMINATE YOU, HENRY!
245
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:21,332
HEE HEE HEE!
246
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,378
DON'T COUNT
YOUR OVEN STUFFERS
247
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,815
BEFORE THEY'RE BASTED,
KWISINE.
248
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,512
ON YOUR MARKS...
249
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,427
GET SET...
250
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:32,169
COOK!
251
00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:59,283
[PANTS]
252
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,821
[BUZZER]
253
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,788
HEY, BOSS. WHAT IS
THIS STUFF, ANYWAY?
254
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:30,140
WHO CARES?
WHEN IT TASTES LIKE...
255
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:32,229
VICTORY.
256
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:34,710
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
257
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,279
THE PRESIDENT
HAS JUST ASKED ART KWISINE
258
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:39,541
TO BE OFFICIAL CHEF
259
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,544
FOR THE GOVERNORS' BANQUET
AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
260
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:46,374
BUT THAT WAS MY JOB.
261
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:58,473
HI, THIS IS
THE EATIE GOURMET.
262
00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,561
I DON'T KNOW,
263
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:02,172
LET'S MAKE
SOMETHING EASY--CORNFLAKES.
264
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,913
JOHN, HAVE YOU
SEEN THESE?
265
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,350
THE RISE AND FALL
OF JOHN HENRY,
266
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,917
THE HENRY COOKIE
CRUMBLES,
267
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,614
JOHN HENRY,
A LEFTOVER.
268
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,443
SID, WE'RE ON THE AIR.
269
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:13,357
NO, WE'RE NOT, KID.
270
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:14,532
THE SHOW'S
BEEN CANCELED.
271
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:18,275
THE NETWORK WANTS
TO TEST A NEW CONCEPT.
272
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,466
HOLD ON NOW, SON.
273
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:37,381
WHERE'S THE ROSE?
274
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,557
THE ROSE,
MR. PRESIDENT?
275
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,342
EVERY YEAR
AT THIS BANQUET,
276
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,040
I LOOK FORWARD
TO THE TOMATO CARVED
277
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,476
MIGHTY LIKE A ROSE.
278
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,391
IT'S A TRADITION.
279
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,480
IF THE PRESIDENT
WANTS A TOMATO ROSE,
280
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,308
SOMEBODY GET HIM
A DARN TOMATO ROSE.
281
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,267
RIGHT AWAY.
282
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,446
OK, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?
283
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,150
STOP! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!
284
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:10,545
I'M WELL-CONNECTED.
I KNOW BOB HOPE!
285
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:23,166
CAN THAT K-ART THING
MAKE TOMATO ROSES OR NOT?
286
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,341
SIR, A TOMATO ROSE
287
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,690
IS A THING
OF DELICATE BEAUTY.
288
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,562
ONLY HUMAN HANDS
CAN CREATE ONE,
289
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,520
IN FACT, TWO PARTICULAR
HUMAN HANDS,
290
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,436
AND THOSE HANDS
BELONG TO...
291
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,613
JOHN HENRY.
292
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:54,589
JOHN! JOHN HENRY!
293
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:55,720
DARLING!
294
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:59,202
JOHN, PUT DOWN THE FORK.
WE LOVE YOU.
295
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,595
I'M SORRY, KIM.
296
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,640
THIS IS WHERE
I BELONG.
297
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,947
MR. HENRY,
298
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,557
I'M FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.
299
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,169
YOUR COUNTRY
NEEDS YOU, SIR.
300
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,561
IT'S TRUE.
301
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:13,564
THE GOVERNORS AT THE BANQUET
WANT YOUR TOMATO ROSES.
302
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:16,611
THEY WANT MY...ROSES?
303
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,526
YES, HONEY.
304
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,441
NOW GIVE ME THE FORK.
305
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:24,271
I WON'T LET
MY COUNTRY DOWN.
306
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,714
AH! BOB, YOU OK?
307
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:36,326
I FEEL LIKE
A LITTLE DINNER.
308
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,073
[CHEERING]
309
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,596
HUH?
310
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,167
NOW THAT'S
MORE LIKE IT!
311
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:53,474
WHAT'S HE
DOING HERE?
312
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:56,738
NOW, ETHAN.
PHASE THREE.
313
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,960
ATTENTION, K-ART CHOPPERS.
314
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:22,068
[SCREAMING]
315
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:30,511
PHASE THREE
IN MOTION, BOSS.
316
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,079
ATTENTION!
317
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,558
ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
318
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:38,214
K-ART CHOPPERS ARE AWAITING
MY COMMAND TO TAKE OVER.
319
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,825
MR. PRESIDENT, GOVERNORS,
320
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,698
YOU ARE MY PRISONERS!
321
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,613
BEHOLD!
322
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,749
[SCREAMING]
323
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,146
MR. PRESIDENT,
324
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:59,496
TURN OVER CONTROL
OF THE NATION TO ME,
325
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:03,152
OR YOUR COUNTRYMEN WILL
BECOME SIX-COURSE DINNERS.
326
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,675
ART KWISINE!
327
00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:06,068
I KNEW YOU WERE EVIL.
328
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,592
I SHOULD HAVE
DONE AWAY WITH YOU
IN COOKING SCHOOL
329
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:11,247
WHEN YOU WOULDN'T
LET ME CHEAT OFF YOU
330
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,509
ON THE FINAL EXAM.
331
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:16,644
YOU SAID I COULDN'T
CUT THE MUSTARD.
332
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,472
YOU CAN'T.
333
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,735
YOU SPOON
THE MUSTARD.
334
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,739
[GASPS]
335
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,610
HUH?
336
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:28,612
[GASPS]
337
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:36,794
AAH!
338
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:48,154
UNH!
339
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:08,087
JOHN, BEHIND YOU!
340
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:12,613
OH!
341
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,703
WRONG REMOTE!
342
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,712
YEOW!
343
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:45,124
HUH, K-ART CHOPPERS?
344
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,782
DON'T EXPECT
A BIG TIP.
345
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,697
JOHN HENRY,
YOU HAVE PROVEN
346
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:56,918
THAT FOOD FOR THE PEOPLE
MUST BE MADE BY THE PEOPLE.
347
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,441
AND SO I GIVE YOU
348
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:02,532
THE CONGRESSIONAL
GOLD MEDAL OF FLOUR...
349
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:03,838
AND I INVITE YOU
350
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,710
TO BE THE OFFICIAL
WHITE HOUSE CHEF.
351
00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:09,278
JOHN, THE NETWORK
WANTS YOU BACK
352
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:10,801
IN PRIME TIME.
353
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,195
AND SO ON AND SO FORTH.
354
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,458
YOUR MASCARA'S
RUNNING, DEAR.
355
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,330
MOM, THE SHOW'S
NOT OVER!
356
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,854
IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER.
HAPPY ENDING.
357
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,899
HERE, THE FRUITCAKE
IS DONE. TASTE.
358
00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:24,946
I TOLD YOU
I'M ON A DIET, MOM.
359
00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:28,210
WELL, EVERYBODY,
HAVE A PIECE.
360
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:31,953
FRUITCAKE?
MY MOM MADE IT.
361
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:35,913
AAH!
362
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:41,745
I SHOULD'VE THOUGHT
OF THAT IN ACT ONE.
363
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:46,272
♪ GORDON, SEND US
364
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,708
♪ OH, SEND US
365
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:50,450
♪ INTO OUTER SPACE
366
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:51,929
♪ OUTER SPACE
367
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:57,674
♪ 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T
NOBODY LIKE YOU ♪
368
00:19:57,718 --> 00:20:03,376
♪ IN THE MELMACKIAN RACE
369
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,726
♪ TEACH US, GORDON...
370
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:13,821
HA! I KILL ME!
25137
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof