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1
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:11,185
Announcer: WITH...
2
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:16,538
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT
3
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:36,688
ISN'T THIS YOKEL
RUSTIC AND COLORFUL?
4
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:38,560
HE'S HERE BECAUSE
TODAY'S ALF TALE
5
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:41,302
IS BASED ON
THAT CLASSIC OLD FOLK SONG,
6
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,347
THE BALLAD
OF JOHN HENRY.
7
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:44,566
THE ORIGINAL JOHN HENRY
8
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:47,177
HAMMERED A PIECE OF STEEL
THROUGH SOLID ROCK
9
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:50,093
TO CLEAR TUNNELS
FOR THE RAILROAD.
10
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,574
[PLAYS GUITAR]
11
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:55,838
WE'RE UPDATING
THE STORY.
12
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,666
I'LL BE PLAYING
JOHN HENRY,
13
00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:00,103
BUT INSTEAD OF
THE ROCK-BASHING
MOUNTAIN MAN,
14
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,410
I'M THE WORLD'S
GREATEST CHEF,
15
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:05,152
A MAN WHO BELIEVES
YOU MUST PREPARE FOOD
16
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:06,631
WITH CARE AND PATIENCE
17
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:09,156
AND RESPECT FOR
YOUR INGREDIENTS.
18
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,853
WHAT ABOUT MY SONG?
19
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:13,203
WE'VE UPDATED THAT, TOO.
20
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,857
GORDON, DARLING,
ARE YOU READY?
21
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,860
MOM'S TEACHING ME
THE FINER POINTS
OF CHEFING.
22
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:21,124
I'LL SHOW YOU
MY SPECIAL FRUITCAKE.
23
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,518
UH, MOM, COULD WE
MAKE SOMETHING ELSE?
24
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,606
I'M ON A DIET.
25
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:28,131
OH, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THESE LYRICS.
26
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,741
I'VE GOT
ENOUGH PROBLEMS.
27
00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:31,308
GO BE RUSTIC
AND COLORFUL.
28
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:35,356
AND NOW, JOHN HENRY
AND HIS DOWN-HOME FAVORITES
29
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:38,620
ON THE EATIE GOURMET.
30
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:44,147
HOWDY. TODAY WE'RE GOING
TO MAKE WHAT I CALL
31
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,235
POOR MAN'S CATFISH.
32
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:48,238
USE ONLY FRESH CAT
AND FRESH FISH.
33
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,633
BUT FIRST, WE'VE GOT
TO CHOP UP OUR ONIONS,
34
00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:54,636
AND PEPPERS, AND CELERY.
35
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:58,161
PHEW! THAT TOOK FOREVER.
36
00:01:58,205 --> 00:01:59,858
I'M GETTING OLD.
37
00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,208
IT'S IMPORTANT TO USE
38
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,861
FRESH, ALL-NATURAL
INGREDIENTS.
39
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:05,429
NOW, I WANT YOU
TO CHOP THESE THINGS
BY HAND.
40
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,562
DON'T GO BORROWING
A CHAIN SAW
41
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:10,260
FROM THE LOCAL MANIAC.
42
00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,047
THERE.
43
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:16,658
NOW THAT'S
HOW I'D WANT TO BE SLICED
44
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,573
IF I WERE AN APPLE.
45
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,358
AND THAT'S JUST
ABOUT IT.
46
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,491
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT
THE FINISHING TOUCH.
47
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,885
YOU SHOULD
ADD A LITTLE FLOUR.
48
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,281
THERE YOU GO--
A LITTLE FLOWER.
49
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:35,851
THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY
ON THE EATIE GOURMET.
50
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:41,683
SORRY I'M LATE.
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00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:42,945
I WENT OUT
FOR A COUPLE OF
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00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:46,688
NON-ALCOHOLIC
CHATEAU LALAND 1964s
53
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:47,993
WITH THE BOYS.
54
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,256
SOMETHING WRONG?
55
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,953
IT'S THIS SLICING
AND DICING.
56
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:52,259
IT IS SO TEDIOUS.
57
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:55,218
CAN'T WE BORROW
THE CHAIN SAW
FROM THE MANIAC?
58
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,437
I'M SURPRISED.
59
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,439
DON'T YOU KNOW
WHAT SEPARATES US
60
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,745
FROM THE LOWLY BEASTS
OF THE JUNGLE?
61
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,704
UM, SOMETIMES
WE GO BOWLING?
62
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:05,968
YES, THAT, AND OUR
SENSE OF ARTISTRY.
63
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:09,667
ONLY WE COULD DEVISE
THE FOUR BASIC
FOOD GROUPS.
64
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,452
AND ONLY WE
CAN COMBINE THEM
65
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:14,194
WITH SKILL
AND LOVING CARE.
66
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:17,762
YOU'RE RIGHT, JOHN.
67
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,677
SOMETIMES I LOSE SIGHT
OF THE BIG PICTURE.
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00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,811
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
69
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:23,899
HELLO?
70
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:24,987
HI, SID.
71
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,641
JOHNNY,
THE PRESIDENT
HAS ANNOUNCED
72
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:27,990
HIS ANNUAL
GOVERNOR'S BANQUET.
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00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,384
GREAT.
I'LL GET TO WORK
ON THE MENU.
74
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,995
WHOA. WE CAN'T
BE SURE THAT
THE PRES WANTS YOU.
75
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:36,520
BUT I'VE BEEN CHEF-IN-CHIEF
FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.
76
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,261
I STILL
HAVE TO CONFIRM.
77
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,871
WHAT'S A MANAGER
FOR, RIGHT?
78
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:41,917
TAKE CARE, KID.
79
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,051
SOME SERVE THEIR COUNTRY
ON THE BATTLEFIELD,
80
00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:48,053
OTHERS SERVE ON
THE SENATE FLOOR.
81
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,926
I SERVE ON PLATES.
82
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,029
HERE'S THE STUFF,
BOSS.
83
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,379
JUST A MOMENT, ETHAN.
84
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:13,383
THERE.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
85
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:17,692
A BIG SHEET
LYING ON THE FLOOR.
86
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:21,870
THE MOST BRILLIANT
MAD SCIENTIST BOSS
87
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,785
A GUY COULD
EVER HAVE?
88
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:26,309
I AM NOT MAD!
89
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,790
I'M JUST
A LITTLE ANGRY.
90
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,923
WELL, NOT ANGRY, REALLY.
91
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,098
I'M PEEVED.
92
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:35,100
NO! HERE IT IS.
93
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:36,624
I'M IRKED.
94
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:39,757
I AM AN IRKED SCIENTIST!
95
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:42,412
BECAUSE OF
THAT TIME YOU WENT
TO COOKING SCHOOL
96
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:43,587
WITH JOHN HENRY,
97
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:45,067
AND HE BECAME
THE WORLD'S
GREATEST CHEF,
98
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:45,937
AND YOU FLUNKED OUT?
99
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:49,114
YES. THAT'S IT
IN A NUTSHELL,
100
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:52,335
AND I MUST WORK
THROUGH MY IRKEDNESS
101
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:55,773
VIA DEEDS OF DESTRUCTION.
102
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,993
LET'S PROCEED.
103
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:10,832
ALL SET, BOSS.
104
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:15,750
READY TO MAKE
FOOD HISTORY, ETHAN?
105
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:18,448
OK.
106
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:20,624
READY.
107
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,634
EXCELLENT.
108
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,419
SHOULDN'T WE
TASTE IT, BOSS?
109
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,116
WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE
110
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,465
HOW IT TASTES?
111
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,640
WHAT MATTERS IS
112
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:40,383
PHASE ONE
OF MY MASTER PLAN
IS COMPLETE.
113
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:41,558
IS THAT
THE MASTER PLAN
114
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:42,994
WHERE YOU TAKE
OVER THE WHOLE
WORLD, BOSS?
115
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:48,435
I DON'T THINK
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
ALLUDING TO, REALLY.
116
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,480
REMEMBER? YOU TOLD ME
THIS MORNING.
117
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,483
PERHAPS I DO HAVE
LARGER AMBITIONS.
118
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:56,791
PERHAPS I DO WANT TO
PAY BACK JOHN HENRY
119
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,053
FOR SHOWING ME UP.
120
00:05:58,096 --> 00:06:02,013
PERHAPS I WOULD LIKE
TO RULE THE WORLD AS WELL!
121
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:04,538
BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.
122
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:08,411
PHASE TWO
OF THE MASTER PLAN--
123
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,718
MARKETING!
124
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:13,634
ARE YOU FED UP WITH MAKING
HOMEMADE MEALS
125
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,418
FOR YOUR FAMILY?
126
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,419
IS THIS YOU?
127
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:17,855
HELLO, DARLING.
128
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,770
SAY, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
SANDWICHES AGAIN?
129
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,686
SORRY, HONEY,
I'VE JUST HAD IT
WITH MAKING MEALS.
130
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,427
I WANT MORE
OUT OF LIFE.
131
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,515
WHAT CAN I DO
ABOUT IT?
132
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:28,518
I'M JUST
A REGULAR PERSON.
133
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:32,696
DON'T YOU WANT YOUR
LIFE TO BE LIKE THIS?
134
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,438
HELLO, DARLING.
SAY, WHAT'S
FOR DINNER?
135
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,832
GOURMET TEMPTATIONS
MADE QUICKLY AND EASILY
136
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,877
WITH THIS WONDERFUL
NEW DEVICE, DEAR.
137
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,966
IT'S CALLED
THE K-ART CHOPPER,
138
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,229
AND IT'S
CHANGED MY LIFE.
139
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,622
I'LL SAY.
140
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,276
YOU LOOK
MORE BEAUTIFUL
THAN EVER.
141
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,191
HERE. TAKE THIS
GREAT BIG
DIAMOND NECKLACE.
142
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:50,584
AND TO THINK,
143
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,587
I OWE IT ALL TO THIS,
THE K-ART CHOPPER.
144
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,459
YEAH, RIGHT,
AND I'M JULIA CHILD.
145
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,854
BUY MY MACHINE.
BUY MY MACHINE.
146
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:04,424
BUY MY MACHINE.
147
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,557
MR. KWISINE,
YOUR INVENTION
148
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,212
SEEMS TO HAVE TAKEN
THE COUNTRY BY STORM.
149
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:12,867
YOU AIN'T JUST
WHISTLING DIXIE.
150
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:15,173
SALES OF MY
K-ART CHOPPER
151
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:19,264
HAVE TRIPLED IN THE LAST
HOUR AND 1/2.
152
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,615
THREE OUT OF THREE HOMES
153
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:25,183
NOW OWN A K-ART CHOPPER.
154
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:26,968
DO YOU HAVE PLANS
TO EXPAND?
155
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,709
DEFINITELY.
156
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,233
HOW ABOUT DIVERSIFICATION?
157
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,800
CERTAINLY.
158
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,585
WHAT ABOUT
WORLD DOMINATION?
159
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,631
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
160
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:41,983
I JUST WANT
TO HELP PEOPLE.
161
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:43,593
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
162
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:44,725
YOU'RE RIGHT, JANE.
163
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,553
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT,
DARLING.
164
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:47,815
COULDN'T HELP BUT AGREE.
165
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,251
REPORTERS ARE FOOLS.
166
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:52,907
TELL THEM YOU DON'T INTEND
TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD--
167
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,604
HEH HEH HEH HEH!
168
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,651
AND THEY BELIEVE IT!
169
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:13,188
HEH HEH HEH!
170
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,977
NOW, YOU'LL WANT
TO BLANCH YOUR ALMONDS,
171
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,370
SO BOIL SOME WATER.
172
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,764
BLANCHING YOUR NUTS
CAN BE TROUBLESOME,
173
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,200
BUT IT'S WORTH IT.
174
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,638
AND THE K-ART CHOPPER
WILL MAKE JUST ABOUT
ANYTHING.
175
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:29,770
SAY YOU WANT TO PREPARE
176
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,119
THOSE CUCAMONGA
CHIMICHANGAS
177
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,903
THAT ARE
SO POPULAR THIS WEEK.
178
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:35,645
JUST POP IN
THE INGREDIENTS.
179
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,171
BUT THESE CUCAMONGA
CHIMICHANGAS
180
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,783
LOOK JUST LIKE
THE ANAHEIM AVOCADO SALAD.
181
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:45,829
EXACTLY. AND TASTES
LIKE IT, TOO.
182
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:50,051
AND MY TRADEMARK
TOMATO ROSE.
183
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,358
I MEAN, MY WIFE PUT IN
A COUPLE OF PAIR OF SOCKS.
184
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:57,145
AND BOOM! WE HAD THIS
FOUR-COURSE VEAL DINNER.
185
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,713
WELL, IT WAS LIKE VEAL.
186
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,149
AND A LITTLE HOT SAUCE,
187
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:03,760
WHICH MY CAMERAMAN
ERNIE ALWAYS LIKES.
188
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:04,892
RIGHT, ERN?
189
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,198
ERNIE? HELLO? HELLO?
190
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:09,679
THE BUSINESS
IS SLIPPING FAST--
191
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:10,680
SALES ARE DOWN,
192
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,073
THE RATINGS
ON YOUR SHOW ARE DOWN.
193
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,727
IT'S THIS KWISINE GUY.
194
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,598
I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THE BUSINESS.
195
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,905
WHAT MAKES ME MAD
IS THAT HE'S PUSHING
196
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:19,254
ARTIFICIAL, FORMULATED,
197
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,909
CHEMICAL-LADEN JUNK
ON GOOD PEOPLE.
198
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:24,041
JOHN,
I HAVE AN IDEA.
199
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,434
WHAT?
200
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,915
PUSH ARTIFICIAL, FORMULATED,
CHEMICAL-LADEN JUNK FOOD
201
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,003
ON GOOD PEOPLE, TOO.
202
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:31,135
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
YOU'LL STAY AFLOAT.
203
00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,181
ART KWISINE
IS BURYING YOU.
204
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,792
SID, I WANT YOU
TO GET ME FACE-TO-FACE
205
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:37,620
WITH KWISINE
ON LIVE TV.
206
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:38,708
I WANT TO TELL
THE PEOPLE
207
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:41,276
THAT EVERYTHING HE
STANDS FOR IS WRONG.
208
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:42,407
OK, JOHNNY, OK.
209
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:46,890
JUST PROMISE YOU
WON'T DO ANYTHING RASH.
210
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,938
GOOD EVENING,
I'M TNED KNOPPLE,
211
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,288
AND THIS IS NIGHT LIGHT.
212
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:56,421
WITH US IN OUR
LOS ANGELES STUDIOS
213
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:57,814
IS ART KWISINE,
214
00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:01,905
INVENTOR OF THE AMAZINGLY
SUCCESSFUL K-ART CHOPPER,
215
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,212
AND IN OUR RICHMOND,
VIRGINIA STUDIOS,
216
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:07,215
JOHN HENRY,
WORLD-FAMOUS CHEF
217
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,738
AND HAM-SLICING AUTHORITY.
218
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,654
ART KWISINE,
YOU'VE JUST ABOUT CHANGED
219
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,177
THE WAY WE ALL MAKE DINNER.
220
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,092
YES, I HAVE, TNED.
221
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:19,140
I'VE REMOVED
ALL THE UNNECESSARY STEPS.
222
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:21,272
YEAH, LIKE
STARTING WITH FOOD.
223
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:23,231
YOU'RE JEALOUS
BECAUSE PEOPLE
224
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,320
WANT THEIR MEALS
FROM THE K-ART.
225
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,235
YOU CALL
THAT STUFF MEALS?
226
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,280
I'D RATHER EAT
THE MACHINE.
227
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,282
I CAN ARRANGE THAT.
228
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,370
I WANT YOU,
KWISINE.
229
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:35,243
YOU HEAR ME?
YOU, YOU, YOU!
230
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,027
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,
MR. HENRY?
231
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:40,291
I WILL MEET YOU
ANYTIME, ANYWHERE,
FOR A COOK-OFF.
232
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:41,858
I'LL SHOW YOU
THE DIFFERENCE
233
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:45,079
BETWEEN
REAL VITTLES
AND YOUR ROBO-FOOD.
234
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,255
OOH...I--
235
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:49,126
I ACCEPT!
236
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,127
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
237
00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:52,129
WE'LL BE BACK
IN A MOMENT.
238
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,392
THIS IS GREAT.
239
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,445
GENTLEMAN AND GENTLEMACHINE,
240
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:07,362
EACH OF YOU IS TO PREPARE
AS MANY SIX-COURSE MEALS
241
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,799
AS YOU CAN IN HALF AN HOUR.
242
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,801
MAY THE BEST CHEF WIN.
243
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:15,718
FINALLY, MY CHANCE
TO SLICE, DICE,
244
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:20,157
HUMILIATE, AND
ELIMINATE YOU, HENRY!
245
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:21,332
HEE HEE HEE!
246
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,378
DON'T COUNT
YOUR OVEN STUFFERS
247
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,815
BEFORE THEY'RE BASTED,
KWISINE.
248
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,512
ON YOUR MARKS...
249
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,427
GET SET...
250
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:32,169
COOK!
251
00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:59,283
[PANTS]
252
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,821
[BUZZER]
253
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,788
HEY, BOSS. WHAT IS
THIS STUFF, ANYWAY?
254
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:30,140
WHO CARES?
WHEN IT TASTES LIKE...
255
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:32,229
VICTORY.
256
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:34,710
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
257
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,279
THE PRESIDENT
HAS JUST ASKED ART KWISINE
258
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:39,541
TO BE OFFICIAL CHEF
259
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,544
FOR THE GOVERNORS' BANQUET
AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
260
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:46,374
BUT THAT WAS MY JOB.
261
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:58,473
HI, THIS IS
THE EATIE GOURMET.
262
00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,561
I DON'T KNOW,
263
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:02,172
LET'S MAKE
SOMETHING EASY--CORNFLAKES.
264
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,913
JOHN, HAVE YOU
SEEN THESE?
265
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,350
THE RISE AND FALL
OF JOHN HENRY,
266
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,917
THE HENRY COOKIE
CRUMBLES,
267
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,614
JOHN HENRY,
A LEFTOVER.
268
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,443
SID, WE'RE ON THE AIR.
269
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:13,357
NO, WE'RE NOT, KID.
270
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:14,532
THE SHOW'S
BEEN CANCELED.
271
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:18,275
THE NETWORK WANTS
TO TEST A NEW CONCEPT.
272
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,466
HOLD ON NOW, SON.
273
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:37,381
WHERE'S THE ROSE?
274
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,557
THE ROSE,
MR. PRESIDENT?
275
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,342
EVERY YEAR
AT THIS BANQUET,
276
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,040
I LOOK FORWARD
TO THE TOMATO CARVED
277
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,476
MIGHTY LIKE A ROSE.
278
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,391
IT'S A TRADITION.
279
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,480
IF THE PRESIDENT
WANTS A TOMATO ROSE,
280
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,308
SOMEBODY GET HIM
A DARN TOMATO ROSE.
281
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,267
RIGHT AWAY.
282
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,446
OK, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?
283
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,150
STOP! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!
284
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:10,545
I'M WELL-CONNECTED.
I KNOW BOB HOPE!
285
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:23,166
CAN THAT K-ART THING
MAKE TOMATO ROSES OR NOT?
286
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,341
SIR, A TOMATO ROSE
287
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,690
IS A THING
OF DELICATE BEAUTY.
288
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,562
ONLY HUMAN HANDS
CAN CREATE ONE,
289
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,520
IN FACT, TWO PARTICULAR
HUMAN HANDS,
290
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,436
AND THOSE HANDS
BELONG TO...
291
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,613
JOHN HENRY.
292
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:54,589
JOHN! JOHN HENRY!
293
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:55,720
DARLING!
294
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:59,202
JOHN, PUT DOWN THE FORK.
WE LOVE YOU.
295
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,595
I'M SORRY, KIM.
296
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,640
THIS IS WHERE
I BELONG.
297
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,947
MR. HENRY,
298
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,557
I'M FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.
299
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,169
YOUR COUNTRY
NEEDS YOU, SIR.
300
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,561
IT'S TRUE.
301
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:13,564
THE GOVERNORS AT THE BANQUET
WANT YOUR TOMATO ROSES.
302
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:16,611
THEY WANT MY...ROSES?
303
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,526
YES, HONEY.
304
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,441
NOW GIVE ME THE FORK.
305
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:24,271
I WON'T LET
MY COUNTRY DOWN.
306
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,714
AH! BOB, YOU OK?
307
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:36,326
I FEEL LIKE
A LITTLE DINNER.
308
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,073
[CHEERING]
309
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,596
HUH?
310
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,167
NOW THAT'S
MORE LIKE IT!
311
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:53,474
WHAT'S HE
DOING HERE?
312
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:56,738
NOW, ETHAN.
PHASE THREE.
313
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,960
ATTENTION, K-ART CHOPPERS.
314
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:22,068
[SCREAMING]
315
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:30,511
PHASE THREE
IN MOTION, BOSS.
316
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,079
ATTENTION!
317
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,558
ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
318
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:38,214
K-ART CHOPPERS ARE AWAITING
MY COMMAND TO TAKE OVER.
319
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,825
MR. PRESIDENT, GOVERNORS,
320
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,698
YOU ARE MY PRISONERS!
321
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,613
BEHOLD!
322
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,749
[SCREAMING]
323
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,146
MR. PRESIDENT,
324
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:59,496
TURN OVER CONTROL
OF THE NATION TO ME,
325
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:03,152
OR YOUR COUNTRYMEN WILL
BECOME SIX-COURSE DINNERS.
326
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,675
ART KWISINE!
327
00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:06,068
I KNEW YOU WERE EVIL.
328
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,592
I SHOULD HAVE
DONE AWAY WITH YOU
IN COOKING SCHOOL
329
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:11,247
WHEN YOU WOULDN'T
LET ME CHEAT OFF YOU
330
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,509
ON THE FINAL EXAM.
331
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:16,644
YOU SAID I COULDN'T
CUT THE MUSTARD.
332
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,472
YOU CAN'T.
333
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,735
YOU SPOON
THE MUSTARD.
334
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,739
[GASPS]
335
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,610
HUH?
336
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:28,612
[GASPS]
337
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:36,794
AAH!
338
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:48,154
UNH!
339
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:08,087
JOHN, BEHIND YOU!
340
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:12,613
OH!
341
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,703
WRONG REMOTE!
342
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,712
YEOW!
343
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:45,124
HUH, K-ART CHOPPERS?
344
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,782
DON'T EXPECT
A BIG TIP.
345
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,697
JOHN HENRY,
YOU HAVE PROVEN
346
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:56,918
THAT FOOD FOR THE PEOPLE
MUST BE MADE BY THE PEOPLE.
347
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,441
AND SO I GIVE YOU
348
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:02,532
THE CONGRESSIONAL
GOLD MEDAL OF FLOUR...
349
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:03,838
AND I INVITE YOU
350
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,710
TO BE THE OFFICIAL
WHITE HOUSE CHEF.
351
00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:09,278
JOHN, THE NETWORK
WANTS YOU BACK
352
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:10,801
IN PRIME TIME.
353
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,195
AND SO ON AND SO FORTH.
354
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,458
YOUR MASCARA'S
RUNNING, DEAR.
355
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,330
MOM, THE SHOW'S
NOT OVER!
356
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,854
IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER.
HAPPY ENDING.
357
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,899
HERE, THE FRUITCAKE
IS DONE. TASTE.
358
00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:24,946
I TOLD YOU
I'M ON A DIET, MOM.
359
00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:28,210
WELL, EVERYBODY,
HAVE A PIECE.
360
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:31,953
FRUITCAKE?
MY MOM MADE IT.
361
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:35,913
AAH!
362
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:41,745
I SHOULD'VE THOUGHT
OF THAT IN ACT ONE.
363
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:46,272
♪ GORDON, SEND US
364
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,708
♪ OH, SEND US
365
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:50,450
♪ INTO OUTER SPACE
366
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:51,929
♪ OUTER SPACE
367
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:57,674
♪ 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T
NOBODY LIKE YOU ♪
368
00:19:57,718 --> 00:20:03,376
♪ IN THE MELMACKIAN RACE
369
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,726
♪ TEACH US, GORDON...
370
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:13,821
HA! I KILL ME!
25137
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