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1
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:29,420
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT
2
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,514
OH, HI.
3
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,603
TODAY WE BRING YOU
TO ENGLAND--
4
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,692
BACK TO A TIME
WHEN MEN WERE MEN,
5
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:42,694
AND WOMEN
WERE GLAD OF IT.
6
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,740
THAT COULD BE
JUST ABOUT ANYTIME,
7
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:49,136
BUT IN THIS CASE,
IT'S THE MIDDLE AGES.
8
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,575
THIS IS THE COSTUME
OF THAT NOBLE OUTLAW
9
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:55,881
OF SHERWOOD FOREST--
ROBIN HOOD.
10
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:59,798
ROBIN HOOD WAS
BRAVE, GALLANT, GENEROUS,
11
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:02,540
AND VERY POPULAR
WITH THE LADIES--
12
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:04,368
TYPECASTING.
13
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:05,456
WHILE I CHANGE,
14
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,198
LET ME CATCH YOU UP
ON THE SITUATION.
15
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,460
ROLL THE CLIP.
16
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:12,202
[PROJECTOR RUNNING]
17
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:20,645
ENGLAND IS A MESS.
18
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:24,214
GOOD KING RICHARD
IS OFF IN A FARAWAY LAND
19
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,694
PROMOTING HIS NEW BOOK--
20
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:28,784
HOW TO BE
A REALLY NICE KING.
21
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:35,791
MEANWHILE, HIS EVIL
BROTHER, PRINCE JOHN,
22
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,619
HAS TAKEN OVER ENGLAND.
23
00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:39,795
THE NASTY SHERIFF
OF NOTTINGHAM
24
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:43,755
IS FORCING THE PEASANTS
TO HAND OVER ALL THEIR MONEY
25
00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:46,889
AND COUNTER-TOP
APPLIANCES...
26
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,848
WHILE KEEPING
THE KING'S NIECE,
27
00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,589
THE LOVELY MAID MARIAN,
28
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,375
A PRISONER
IN NOTTINGHAM CASTLE.
29
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:57,117
[PLAYING HARMONICA]
30
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,865
ROBIN HOOD IS FIGHTING
THIS INJUSTICE
31
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,650
BY TAKING FROM THE RICH
32
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,565
AND GIVING BACK
TO THE POOR.
33
00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:14,786
ALWAYS AT HIS SIDE ARE
HIS BAND OF MERRY MEN.
34
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:21,793
ESPECIALLY HIS TRUSTY
COMPANION, FRIAR TUCK.
35
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,447
OH, TUCK.
OH, FRIAR.
36
00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:26,798
D-D-DO YOU KNOW THE WAY
TO G-G-GRANDMA'S HOUSE?
37
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:30,324
RICK, WHAT THE HECK
ARE YOU WEARING?
38
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,849
I-I'M LITTLE
RED R-R-RIDING HOOD.
39
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,807
LITTLE RED--NO, NO!
40
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,026
IT'S ROBIN HOOD.
41
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:40,812
ALL RIGHT, THEN,
LITTLE RED
R-R-ROBIN HOOD.
42
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:43,467
THERE'S NOTHING LITTLE
AND NOTHING RED, RICK.
43
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:47,210
IT'S JUST PLAIN
ROBIN HOOD.
44
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,820
OH, I G-G-GET IT.
45
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:52,607
GREAT. NOW, GET INTO
THE FRIAR COSTUME.
46
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,739
R-R-RIGHT.
47
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,306
ON WITH OUR STORY.
48
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:59,222
W-W-WHAT'S A FRIAR?
49
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,876
AHH...
50
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,620
ROBIN AND HIS MEN
ARE SPENDING
51
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:09,667
A TYPICAL DAY
IN SHERWOOD FOREST.
52
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:16,544
[SNORING]
53
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,767
STOP THE MIDDLE AGE MUSIC!
54
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,943
LET'S PLAY SOMETHING
THAT REALLY SWINGS.
55
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:28,773
BUT ROBIN, PRINCE JOHN
HAS OUTLAWED
ALL HEP MUSIC.
56
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:31,820
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING
IN THE DISTANCE]
57
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,911
THAT'S THE BEST
ALTO SAXOPHONE
58
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:38,957
I'VE EVER HEARD
IN THESE WOODS.
59
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:55,496
HE'D BE G-G-GREAT
IN THE BAND.
60
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:59,891
ONLY IF HE CAN FIGHT
AS WELL AS HE PLAYS.
61
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:05,549
PRITHEE, STRANGER.
ARE YOU AS GOOD
WITH THE QUARTERSTAFF
62
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,769
AS YOU ARE
WITH YON SAXOPHONE?
63
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,815
WHAT'S A QUARTERSTAFF?
64
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:15,255
OH, YOU MEAN
THE BIG STICK?
65
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,649
AS THEY SAY
IN THE CRUSADES,
66
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:19,781
HAVE AT YOU!
67
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,783
HA! HO HO! HA!
68
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,440
AAH!
69
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,968
AHEM!
[HUMMING]
70
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,059
[YAWNS]
71
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,801
HAVE AT YOU AGAIN.
72
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,545
OH!
73
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,069
WHOA!
74
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,158
[SPLASH]
75
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:53,641
TRADITIONALLY,
THE RULES CALL FOR
THREE OUT OF FIVE.
76
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:59,037
FOUR OUT OF...
77
00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:06,306
16 OUT OF...
78
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,963
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
79
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:18,622
MAYBE WE COULD TRY
BOBBING FOR APPLES.
80
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,931
I NOW ADMINISTER THE PLEDGE
OF THE MERRY MEN
81
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,716
TO OUR NEWEST RECRUIT,
LITTLE JOHN.
82
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,980
DO YOU SOLEMNLY PLEDGE
TO TAKE FROM THE RICH,
83
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,330
AND GIVE TO THE POOR?
84
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:33,594
TO HELP THOSE IN NEED,
AND FIGHT THOSE
IN POWER?
85
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,031
AND TO RUN THROUGH
THE FOREST IN TIGHTS,
86
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,990
SCREAMING THINGS LIKE,
"WHAT, HO?"
87
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,731
COOL.
88
00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,821
WELCOME TO THE MERRY MEN!
89
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,084
YAY!
90
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:49,610
MASTER ROBIN!
MASTER ROBIN!
91
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,612
PRINCE JOHN
IS HEADED THIS WAY!
92
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,962
HE'S WITH
THE SHERIFF
OF NOTTINGHAM
93
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:57,487
AND THE ENTIRE
ROYAL GUARD!
94
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,404
WHAT A BREAK!
95
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,841
THE PRINCE IS SURE TO HAVE
THE PEASANTS' GOLD WITH HIM.
96
00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,800
HE WON'T LEAVE HOME
WITHOUT IT.
97
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,845
WE'LL TAKE THE GOLD BACK
98
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,500
FOR THE GOOD PEOPLE
OF SHERWOOD.
99
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,023
YAY!
100
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,417
ARE YOU READY,
LITTLE JOHN?
101
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,505
YO.
102
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,115
WILL SCARLET.
103
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:20,989
MY SWORD IS SWORN
TO YOUR SERVICE.
104
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,991
ALLAN-A-DALE.
105
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:27,038
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM
AND LIBERTY.
106
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:30,041
FRIAR TUCK.
107
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:35,003
G-G-G-GRANDMA,
WHAT BIG EARS
YOU HAVE.
108
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:39,921
DOES ANYONE OUT THERE
FIT A SIZE 7
FRIAR'S OUTFIT?
109
00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,721
OH, MY, MY,
110
00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,157
MONEY,
MONEY, MONEY!
111
00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:00,985
WONDERFUL,
WONDERFUL CASH!
112
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,684
SHERIFF, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M GOING
TO DO WITH IT ?
113
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:06,034
NO, PRINCE JOHN,
YOUR POINTLESSNESS.
114
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:10,255
I'M GOING TO ROLL
AROUND IN IT UNTIL
THOROUGHLY COATED.
115
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:14,477
YOU ARE
A FINANCIAL WIZARD,
YOUR SLOWNESS.
116
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:17,132
[SAXOPHONE PLAYS]
117
00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,266
WHAT'S THAT?
118
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:22,877
IT'S OUTLAW MUSIC,
119
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,922
AND WHERE THERE'S
OUTLAW MUSIC,
120
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:28,752
THERE'S ROBIN HOOD
AND HIS MERRY MEN.
121
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,145
ROBIN HOOD!
122
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:33,017
CALM DOWN,
YOUR HIGH-STRUNGEDNESS.
123
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,758
ROBIN HOOD
WOULD NEVER ATTACK
124
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:39,110
A FULLY ARMED
ROYAL ENTOURAGE.
125
00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:41,983
LET ME
REPHRASE THAT.
126
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:45,073
COMPANY!
AND THE FOREST
IS A MESS.
127
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:48,816
YOU'RE COMING WITH US,
ROBIN HOOD.
128
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,862
I'D LOVE TO JOIN YOU
IN YOUR TRAVELS, SHERIFF,
129
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:54,909
BUT I PROMISED
MY MERRY MEN
A BIG FIGHT.
130
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:59,174
I'D BE HAPPY
TO HELP OUT.
131
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,742
SEIZE HIM!
132
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:07,269
[SHOUTING]
133
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,188
[WHISTLES]
134
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:24,373
[SWORDS CLANGING]
135
00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:30,118
AHA!
136
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,910
[NEIGHS]
137
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:43,174
[NEIGHS]
138
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,844
GET OFF ME!
139
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,586
I SAID,
SEIZE HIM--
140
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,067
ROBIN HOOD!
141
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,198
HIM!
142
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:10,854
AAH! NO!
143
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,902
SEIZE HIM!
144
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,754
WHAT?
145
00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:56,247
[HORN PLAYING]
146
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,646
AAH-HA!
147
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,082
OOF!
148
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,737
OH.
149
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:14,222
ALL RIGHT, PRINCEY.
HAND IT OVER.
150
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:16,267
HAND WHAT OVER?
151
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:19,314
I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT
ANY GOLD.
152
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,144
NO!
153
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,887
HOORAY!
154
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:32,240
HOORAY FOR ROBIN HOOD!
155
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:33,763
PRINCE JOHN,
156
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:36,679
THANK YOU
FOR YOUR GENEROUS
CONTRIBUTION.
157
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,768
YAY, ROBIN!
158
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:43,207
ALL MY MONEY,
MY MONEY,
MY MONEY!
159
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,949
IT'S ALL GONE,
ALL GONE!
160
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:48,473
HOW I HATE
THAT ROBIN HOOD
161
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,736
WITH HIS CAP
AND HIS FEATHER
162
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,302
AND HIS ROBBING
AND HIS GIVING
163
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:54,871
AND HIS RUNNING
THROUGH THE FOREST
GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT.
164
00:10:54,915 --> 00:11:00,094
I HATE HIM.
HIM I HATE!
165
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,359
Sheriff:
BUT I'VE DEVISED
THE PERFECT SCHEME
166
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:09,407
TO TRAP ROBIN HOOD
AND HAVE HIM
AT OUR MERCY.
167
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,801
OH, GOODY,
GOODY, GOODY!
168
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,717
WHAT IS
YOUR PERFECT
SCHEME?
169
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,806
WELL, FIRST...
170
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,286
AH, MAID MARIAN,
171
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:22,246
THE LOVELY WARD
OF THE ABSENT KING RICHARD.
172
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,422
GOOD AND
REPULSIVE SHERIFF,
173
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:28,035
DID I HEAR YOU SAY
THAT YOU PLAN TO
CAPTURE ROBIN HOOD?
174
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,254
YES, MY LADY.
175
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,343
NO! AAH!
176
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,823
PSST! PSST!
177
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,434
THE SCHEME,
THE SCHEME!
178
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,349
WHY, MARIAN!
179
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:41,135
DO I DETECT THAT
YOU HAVE FEELINGS
180
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,224
FOR THIS BANDIT?
181
00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:44,399
OH, NO.
FEELINGS?
182
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,835
OH, NO.
HE'S AN OUTLAW.
183
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,750
I SAY "FEH"
TO ROBIN HOOD.
184
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:48,795
GOOD.
185
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,274
BECAUSE I WOULD
HATE TO THINK
186
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:53,277
THAT THE WOMAN
I PLAN TO MARRY
187
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,976
LOVES ROBIN HOOD.
188
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:59,893
HA! LOVE THAT
BRAVE, GORGEOUS,
189
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,503
HUNK OF A MERRY MAN?
190
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:02,939
AH!
191
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:06,421
HOW COULD I, AFTER
THE GLORIOUS GIFTS
YOU'VE GIVEN ME?
192
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:09,119
THE 24-HOUR GUARD
AT MY DOOR,
193
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,817
THE MOAT
AROUND MY BED,
194
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:13,384
THE SECURITY CAMERAS
IN THIS CORRIDOR.
195
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:14,995
YOU'RE TOO GENEROUS.
196
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,387
[CHUCKLES]
197
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,999
JUST WAIT
TILL CHRISTMAS.
198
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:22,089
WAS IT YOU
WHO MENTIONED
A SCHEME?
199
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,569
WHAT IS
YOUR SCHEME, SHERIFF?
200
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:29,009
PRINCE JOHN WILL DECLARE
A ROYAL ARCHERY CONTEST
201
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,968
TO TAKE PLACE
ON THE CASTLE GROUNDS.
202
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:35,406
ROBIN HOOD WILL,
DOUBTLESS, SHOW UP.
203
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:38,235
THEN, WE HAVE HIM.
204
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:46,461
UM, WOULD YOU
EXCUSE ME?
I HAVE TO FLOSS.
205
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:47,723
SELMA,
YOU MUST HELP ME.
206
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,987
I WANT YOU TO RELAY
A VERY IMPORTANT
MESSAGE
207
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:51,901
TO ROBIN HOOD.
208
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,468
OH, WHAT IS
THE MESSAGE?
209
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:58,429
THE MESSAGE IS,
THE ARCHERY CONTEST
IS A TRAP.
210
00:12:58,473 --> 00:12:59,430
YOU GOT THAT?
211
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,389
OH, YES, M'LADY.
212
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,875
GET THIS MESSAGE
TO ROBIN HOOD.
213
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:11,094
YES, YES?
214
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:14,576
UM, THE PARTRIDGE
TREE CONQUEST
215
00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:16,404
IS A SNAP.
216
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:30,070
GET THIS MESSAGE
TO ROBIN HOOD.
217
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:33,116
THE TAUGHT
AWFULLY DUMB TEST...
218
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,422
[PANTING]
219
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:37,077
HAS NO PLUCK.
220
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:43,431
OK, HERE'S
YOUR TAX MONEY.
221
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:46,260
NOW GO
WITH MY BLESSINGS.
222
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:49,306
[PANTS]
ARE YOU ROBIN HOOD?
223
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,394
THAT DEPENDS.
224
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:54,442
I HAVE A MESSAGE
FROM THE MAID MARIAN.
225
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,574
THE MESSAGE IS,
226
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:57,967
UH...
227
00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,882
NO STARCH
IN THE COLLAR,
228
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:02,624
AND I'D LIKE
MY SHIRTS...AAH!
229
00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,495
WRAPPED.
230
00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:05,453
LITTLE JOHN,
231
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:07,368
GIVE ME YOUR
GIBBERISH-ENGLISH,
232
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:10,371
ENGLISH-GIBBERISH
DICTIONARY.
233
00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,591
"NO STARCHED
IN THE COLLAR,
234
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,506
AND I'D LIKE
MY SHIRTS WRAPPED."
235
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,204
TRANSLATION--
236
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,510
THE ARCHERY CONTEST
IS A TRAP!
237
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,686
YOU C-C-CAN'T GO!
238
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,906
YOU'LL BE WALKING
RIGHT INTO THEIR TRAP.
239
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,996
THERE'S NO TRAP
THAT CAN HOLD...
240
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,345
ROBIN HOOD!
241
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:31,609
I SAW A BIG METAL TRAP
ONCE WITH BIG, SHARP TEETH.
242
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:35,178
AND IT SPRINGS CLOSED
ON YOUR FOOT,
243
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,179
LIKE THIS!
244
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,659
I DON'T THINK HE HAS
ONE OF THOSE.
245
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:41,184
IF WE CAN'T
S-S-STOP YOU,
246
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:44,361
THEN WE'RE
G-G-GOING WITH YOU.
247
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,537
FINE.
WITH YOUR HELP,
248
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,496
I WILL WIN
THE CONTEST,
249
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,672
THWART THE SHERIFF
OF NOTTINGHAM,
250
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:52,717
AND SWEEP
THE FAIR MAID MARIAN
251
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,981
OFF OF HER CUTE
LITTLE TOOTSIES.
252
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:58,158
THEN LET'S
BE OFF.
253
00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,463
WAIT!
254
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:01,552
WE HAVE TO WEAR
DISGUISES SO
NO ONE NOTICES US.
255
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:05,339
OH, GOOD, I'LL WEAR
MY GREAT BIG
PUMPKIN HEAD.
256
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:09,169
YOU ALWAYS
GET TO WEAR
THE P-P-PUMPKIN HEAD.
257
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,084
I WANT
TO WEAR IT.
258
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:11,823
GUYS...
259
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:14,043
IT'S MY
PUMPKIN HEAD.
260
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:16,393
IT IS NOT.
261
00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:19,483
HIGHLY TRAINED
PROFESSIONALS.
262
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:26,099
GROG! GET
YOUR ICE COLD GROG
RIGHT HERE!
263
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,449
GET YOUR GROG!
264
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,455
AHH...
265
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,373
[GASPS]
266
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:44,117
[SNAP]
YII!
267
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:54,127
[FANFARE]
268
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,695
AHEM...
269
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,481
HERE ARE
TODAY'S CONTESTANTS.
270
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:04,441
COUNT BACKWARDS
FROM 10,
271
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:10,186
SIR TIFICATE
OF AUTHENTICITY,
272
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:13,146
MURRAY,
273
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:15,452
BOBBIN HOOD.
274
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:19,674
NEVER LET A GOOD COSTUME
GO TO WASTE.
275
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:22,111
PSST!
HUH?
276
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:27,290
COMMENCE THE FIRST ROUND.
277
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:30,641
[FANFARE]
278
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,823
Man: YEOW!
279
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,000
SORRY.
280
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:46,831
OOF! COMMENCE
THE SECOND ROUND!
281
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,572
[FANFARE]
282
00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:50,705
SHUT UP, ALREADY!
283
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:51,749
WHOA!
284
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,403
OOF!
285
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,331
TWO CONTESTANTS LEFT.
286
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:13,380
LET THE FINAL TRAP--
UH, ROUND BEGIN.
287
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:16,513
[FANFARE]
288
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,654
YAY!
289
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,749
NO PROBLEM.
290
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,409
OOH!
291
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:44,846
[DRUM ROLL]
292
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:51,548
YAY!
293
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,810
YAHOO!
294
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:56,858
Y-Y-YIPPEE! YIPPEE!
295
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:12,787
WELL, IT SEEMS
WE HAVE A WINNER.
296
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:16,660
WELL, MR. BOBBIN HOOD.
297
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:17,966
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
298
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:22,405
I AM FROM THAT PLACE
WHERE JUSTICE STILL REIGNS.
299
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,842
I SPEAK
OF SHERWOOD FOREST,
300
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:27,410
THE HOME
OF ROBIN HOOD.
301
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,847
YOU'VE WALKED
RIGHT INTO MY TRAP.
302
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:32,589
YOU ARE SURROUNDED
BY HUNDREDS
303
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,809
OF MY MOST
FEROCIOUS GUARDS.
304
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:38,291
THE ODDS
ARE MOST CERTAINLY
AGAINST YOU.
305
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,162
THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG,
306
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:43,513
FOR I HAVE
MY TWO MOST TRUSTED
MERRY MEN--
307
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,776
THE COOL GUY
AND THE PUMPKIN HEAD.
308
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:49,693
TOGETHER,
WE WILL LIBERATE
THE FAIR MAID MARIAN,
309
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,522
THAT IS,
IF SHE'LL HAVE ME.
310
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:55,786
HI.
311
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:58,485
FINE.
THE WEDDING IS OFF.
312
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,269
SEIZE THEM!
313
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:10,323
[PLAYING BASS NOTES]
314
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:16,416
[PLAYING SWING]
315
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:26,774
THIS MUSIC IS OUTLAWED.
316
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:33,955
GUARDS, STOP THEM!
HUH?
317
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,874
STOP THAT!
318
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:45,880
STOP THAT!
STOP THAT!
319
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:56,804
I SUSPECTED
THEY WERE HEP CATS.
320
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:09,904
[SWING ENDS]
321
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:12,776
[PLAYING GUITAR]
322
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:23,309
NO! OH, NO!
323
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:26,268
WHO ARE YOU, VISITOR?
324
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:28,357
WHY, IT'S THE WOLF,
325
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:31,882
DRESSED JUST LIKE
MY GRANDMA.
326
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,972
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
PRINCE JOHN?
327
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:38,889
DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE
YOUR OWN BROTHER?
328
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:40,369
THE KING!
329
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:41,805
IT'S THE KING!
330
00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:42,980
ELVIS?
331
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:45,331
WHA...
332
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,597
KING RICHARD,
YOUR MAJESTY.
333
00:20:58,344 --> 00:20:59,823
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
ON MY THRONE?
334
00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:04,741
OH, MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
IS THIS YOUR THRONE?
335
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,744
MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE, DICK--
336
00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:11,008
UH...RICH,
UH...YOUR HIGHNESS.
337
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:15,796
LONG LIVE THE KING!
338
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,798
All: LONG LIVE
THE KING!
339
00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:21,628
WELL, IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU BACK,
YOUR MAJESTY.
340
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:26,023
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?
SOFT DRINK, A HOT TOWEL?
341
00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:27,068
20 BUCKS?
342
00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:28,722
-SHUT UP.
-SHUT UP.
343
00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:32,116
YOU HATH TRIED
TO USURP ME.
344
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,944
I HATE THAT.
345
00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:35,337
I SENTENCE EACH OF YOU
346
00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:38,949
TO 10 YEARS
OF WATCHING THE HOME
SHOPPING NETWORK.
347
00:21:38,993 --> 00:21:39,950
TAKE THEM AWAY.
348
00:21:39,994 --> 00:21:40,951
HUH?
349
00:21:40,995 --> 00:21:42,605
AAH!
350
00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:44,955
NO! NO! ANYTHING
BUT THAT!
351
00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:48,002
NO, PLEASE! AAH!
352
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:49,960
AAH!
353
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:52,920
NOW, WHICH
OF MY SUBJECTS
354
00:21:52,963 --> 00:21:55,444
PLAYED THAT COOL
AND GLORIOUS MUSIC
355
00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:56,750
I HEARD
UPON MY ARRIVAL?
356
00:21:56,793 --> 00:22:01,058
IT WAS I, ROBIN HOOD,
AND MY BAND OF MERRY MEN.
357
00:22:01,102 --> 00:22:05,628
THEN KNEEL BEFORE ME,
ROBIN HOOD.
358
00:22:07,108 --> 00:22:10,981
I DUB THEE
SIR ROBIN OF HOOD,
359
00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,984
THE KING OF SWING.
360
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:19,686
THANKS, YOUR MAJESTY.
361
00:22:19,729 --> 00:22:22,166
SIR ROBIN,
YOU AND YOUR BAND
362
00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,994
SHALL PLAY
ALL THE BIG PARTIES
363
00:22:24,038 --> 00:22:25,866
AT THE NOTTINGHAM
HALL OF CATERING,
364
00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:29,826
COMMENCING WITH
YOUR OWN WEDDING
TO MY WARD,
365
00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:32,481
THE FAIR
MAID MARIAN.
366
00:22:32,525 --> 00:22:35,049
AHH.
367
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,835
M-M-M-MAZEL TOV!
368
00:22:38,879 --> 00:22:42,012
THREE CHEERS
FOR ROBIN HOOD!
369
00:22:42,056 --> 00:22:47,627
CHEER!
370
00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:51,892
AND WHAT SAY YE
TO ME, SWEET ROBIN?
371
00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:57,027
MARIAN, WHAT BIG EYES
YOU HAVE.
372
00:22:57,071 --> 00:23:00,030
WHAT BIG LIPS YOU HAVE.
373
00:23:00,074 --> 00:23:01,684
WHAT A BIG SNOOT--
374
00:23:01,728 --> 00:23:03,860
HOLD IT. H-H-HOLD IT!
375
00:23:03,904 --> 00:23:07,603
I THOUGHT YOU SAID N-N-NO
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD.
376
00:23:07,647 --> 00:23:11,041
IF THE LINE WORKS,
THE LINE WORKS.
377
00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:14,567
AND THEY ALL LIVED
HAPPILY EVER AFTER,
378
00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:15,916
ESPECIALLY ME,
379
00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:17,613
STARTING IN
ABOUT 2 SECONDS.
380
00:23:17,657 --> 00:23:21,748
AH HA! NOW, WHERE
WERE WE?
381
00:23:25,099 --> 00:23:27,754
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMENT
382
00:23:27,797 --> 00:23:32,193
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
383
00:23:33,934 --> 00:23:34,978
HI, LETTERHEADS.
384
00:23:35,022 --> 00:23:38,939
IT'S TIME TO DIP INTO
THE BAG O' MAIL.
385
00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:44,684
WRONG BAG.
THAT'S MY LUNCH.
386
00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:49,950
"YO, ALFER,
I'M AN ALIEN, TOO.
387
00:23:49,993 --> 00:23:53,040
"I'M AS CUTE AND
FURRY AND TALENTED AS YOU,
388
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:54,650
"AND I CAN DANCE.
389
00:23:54,694 --> 00:23:57,871
"THE NETWORKS ARE BEATING
DOWN MY SPACESHIP DOOR
390
00:23:57,914 --> 00:23:59,699
"FOR ME TO DO A SERIES.
391
00:23:59,742 --> 00:24:01,657
"MY AGENT IS SURE
I WILL BE AT LEAST
392
00:24:01,701 --> 00:24:03,006
"THE BIGGEST STAR
AS YOU.
393
00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:05,269
"WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU
OFFER ME?
394
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:08,621
SIGNED, ALF LIKE YOU."
395
00:24:08,664 --> 00:24:10,927
DEAR ALF LIKE ME,
396
00:24:10,971 --> 00:24:13,495
DON'T WASTE
YOUR TALENTS ON TV.
397
00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:16,237
TURN YOURSELF OVER
TO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT
398
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,065
ALIEN TASK FORCE DIVISION.
399
00:24:18,108 --> 00:24:20,720
THEY'LL TAKE REAL
GOOD CARE OF YOUR CAREER.
400
00:24:20,763 --> 00:24:22,678
DO WHATEVER THEY
TELL YOU TO DO,
401
00:24:22,722 --> 00:24:25,072
EVEN IF IT INVOLVES CAGES
AND ELECTRODES
402
00:24:25,115 --> 00:24:29,946
AND BRAIN WAVES.
THEY KNOW WHAT'S
BEST FOR YOU.
403
00:24:29,990 --> 00:24:32,906
AND THIS GOES FOR ANY OTHER
AMBITIOUS ALIEN OUT THERE.
404
00:24:32,949 --> 00:24:37,127
THE REST OF YOU,
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
405
00:24:37,824 --> 00:24:40,000
THE NERVE!
26521
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