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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:29,420 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT 2 00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,514 OH, HI. 3 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,603 TODAY WE BRING YOU TO ENGLAND-- 4 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,692 BACK TO A TIME WHEN MEN WERE MEN, 5 00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:42,694 AND WOMEN WERE GLAD OF IT. 6 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,740 THAT COULD BE JUST ABOUT ANYTIME, 7 00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:49,136 BUT IN THIS CASE, IT'S THE MIDDLE AGES. 8 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,575 THIS IS THE COSTUME OF THAT NOBLE OUTLAW 9 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:55,881 OF SHERWOOD FOREST-- ROBIN HOOD. 10 00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:59,798 ROBIN HOOD WAS BRAVE, GALLANT, GENEROUS, 11 00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:02,540 AND VERY POPULAR WITH THE LADIES-- 12 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:04,368 TYPECASTING. 13 00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:05,456 WHILE I CHANGE, 14 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,198 LET ME CATCH YOU UP ON THE SITUATION. 15 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,460 ROLL THE CLIP. 16 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:12,202 [PROJECTOR RUNNING] 17 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:20,645 ENGLAND IS A MESS. 18 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:24,214 GOOD KING RICHARD IS OFF IN A FARAWAY LAND 19 00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,694 PROMOTING HIS NEW BOOK-- 20 00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:28,784 HOW TO BE A REALLY NICE KING. 21 00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:35,791 MEANWHILE, HIS EVIL BROTHER, PRINCE JOHN, 22 00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,619 HAS TAKEN OVER ENGLAND. 23 00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:39,795 THE NASTY SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM 24 00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:43,755 IS FORCING THE PEASANTS TO HAND OVER ALL THEIR MONEY 25 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:46,889 AND COUNTER-TOP APPLIANCES... 26 00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,848 WHILE KEEPING THE KING'S NIECE, 27 00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,589 THE LOVELY MAID MARIAN, 28 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,375 A PRISONER IN NOTTINGHAM CASTLE. 29 00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:57,117 [PLAYING HARMONICA] 30 00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,865 ROBIN HOOD IS FIGHTING THIS INJUSTICE 31 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,650 BY TAKING FROM THE RICH 32 00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,565 AND GIVING BACK TO THE POOR. 33 00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:14,786 ALWAYS AT HIS SIDE ARE HIS BAND OF MERRY MEN. 34 00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:21,793 ESPECIALLY HIS TRUSTY COMPANION, FRIAR TUCK. 35 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,447 OH, TUCK. OH, FRIAR. 36 00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:26,798 D-D-DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO G-G-GRANDMA'S HOUSE? 37 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:30,324 RICK, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WEARING? 38 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,849 I-I'M LITTLE RED R-R-RIDING HOOD. 39 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,807 LITTLE RED--NO, NO! 40 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,026 IT'S ROBIN HOOD. 41 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:40,812 ALL RIGHT, THEN, LITTLE RED R-R-ROBIN HOOD. 42 00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:43,467 THERE'S NOTHING LITTLE AND NOTHING RED, RICK. 43 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:47,210 IT'S JUST PLAIN ROBIN HOOD. 44 00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,820 OH, I G-G-GET IT. 45 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:52,607 GREAT. NOW, GET INTO THE FRIAR COSTUME. 46 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,739 R-R-RIGHT. 47 00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,306 ON WITH OUR STORY. 48 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:59,222 W-W-WHAT'S A FRIAR? 49 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,876 AHH... 50 00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,620 ROBIN AND HIS MEN ARE SPENDING 51 00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:09,667 A TYPICAL DAY IN SHERWOOD FOREST. 52 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:16,544 [SNORING] 53 00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,767 STOP THE MIDDLE AGE MUSIC! 54 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,943 LET'S PLAY SOMETHING THAT REALLY SWINGS. 55 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:28,773 BUT ROBIN, PRINCE JOHN HAS OUTLAWED ALL HEP MUSIC. 56 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:31,820 [SAXOPHONE PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE] 57 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,911 THAT'S THE BEST ALTO SAXOPHONE 58 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:38,957 I'VE EVER HEARD IN THESE WOODS. 59 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:55,496 HE'D BE G-G-GREAT IN THE BAND. 60 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:59,891 ONLY IF HE CAN FIGHT AS WELL AS HE PLAYS. 61 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:05,549 PRITHEE, STRANGER. ARE YOU AS GOOD WITH THE QUARTERSTAFF 62 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,769 AS YOU ARE WITH YON SAXOPHONE? 63 00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,815 WHAT'S A QUARTERSTAFF? 64 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:15,255 OH, YOU MEAN THE BIG STICK? 65 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,649 AS THEY SAY IN THE CRUSADES, 66 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:19,781 HAVE AT YOU! 67 00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,783 HA! HO HO! HA! 68 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,440 AAH! 69 00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,968 AHEM! [HUMMING] 70 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,059 [YAWNS] 71 00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,801 HAVE AT YOU AGAIN. 72 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,545 OH! 73 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,069 WHOA! 74 00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,158 [SPLASH] 75 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:53,641 TRADITIONALLY, THE RULES CALL FOR THREE OUT OF FIVE. 76 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:59,037 FOUR OUT OF... 77 00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:06,306 16 OUT OF... 78 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,963 HA HA HA! HA HA HA! 79 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:18,622 MAYBE WE COULD TRY BOBBING FOR APPLES. 80 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,931 I NOW ADMINISTER THE PLEDGE OF THE MERRY MEN 81 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,716 TO OUR NEWEST RECRUIT, LITTLE JOHN. 82 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,980 DO YOU SOLEMNLY PLEDGE TO TAKE FROM THE RICH, 83 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,330 AND GIVE TO THE POOR? 84 00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:33,594 TO HELP THOSE IN NEED, AND FIGHT THOSE IN POWER? 85 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,031 AND TO RUN THROUGH THE FOREST IN TIGHTS, 86 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,990 SCREAMING THINGS LIKE, "WHAT, HO?" 87 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,731 COOL. 88 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,821 WELCOME TO THE MERRY MEN! 89 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,084 YAY! 90 00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:49,610 MASTER ROBIN! MASTER ROBIN! 91 00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,612 PRINCE JOHN IS HEADED THIS WAY! 92 00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,962 HE'S WITH THE SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM 93 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:57,487 AND THE ENTIRE ROYAL GUARD! 94 00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,404 WHAT A BREAK! 95 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,841 THE PRINCE IS SURE TO HAVE THE PEASANTS' GOLD WITH HIM. 96 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,800 HE WON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT. 97 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,845 WE'LL TAKE THE GOLD BACK 98 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,500 FOR THE GOOD PEOPLE OF SHERWOOD. 99 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,023 YAY! 100 00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,417 ARE YOU READY, LITTLE JOHN? 101 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,505 YO. 102 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,115 WILL SCARLET. 103 00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:20,989 MY SWORD IS SWORN TO YOUR SERVICE. 104 00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,991 ALLAN-A-DALE. 105 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:27,038 I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND LIBERTY. 106 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:30,041 FRIAR TUCK. 107 00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:35,003 G-G-G-GRANDMA, WHAT BIG EARS YOU HAVE. 108 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:39,921 DOES ANYONE OUT THERE FIT A SIZE 7 FRIAR'S OUTFIT? 109 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,721 OH, MY, MY, 110 00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,157 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! 111 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:00,985 WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL CASH! 112 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,684 SHERIFF, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH IT ? 113 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:06,034 NO, PRINCE JOHN, YOUR POINTLESSNESS. 114 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:10,255 I'M GOING TO ROLL AROUND IN IT UNTIL THOROUGHLY COATED. 115 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:14,477 YOU ARE A FINANCIAL WIZARD, YOUR SLOWNESS. 116 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:17,132 [SAXOPHONE PLAYS] 117 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,266 WHAT'S THAT? 118 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:22,877 IT'S OUTLAW MUSIC, 119 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,922 AND WHERE THERE'S OUTLAW MUSIC, 120 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:28,752 THERE'S ROBIN HOOD AND HIS MERRY MEN. 121 00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,145 ROBIN HOOD! 122 00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:33,017 CALM DOWN, YOUR HIGH-STRUNGEDNESS. 123 00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,758 ROBIN HOOD WOULD NEVER ATTACK 124 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:39,110 A FULLY ARMED ROYAL ENTOURAGE. 125 00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:41,983 LET ME REPHRASE THAT. 126 00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:45,073 COMPANY! AND THE FOREST IS A MESS. 127 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:48,816 YOU'RE COMING WITH US, ROBIN HOOD. 128 00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,862 I'D LOVE TO JOIN YOU IN YOUR TRAVELS, SHERIFF, 129 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:54,909 BUT I PROMISED MY MERRY MEN A BIG FIGHT. 130 00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:59,174 I'D BE HAPPY TO HELP OUT. 131 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,742 SEIZE HIM! 132 00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:07,269 [SHOUTING] 133 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,188 [WHISTLES] 134 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:24,373 [SWORDS CLANGING] 135 00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:30,118 AHA! 136 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,910 [NEIGHS] 137 00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:43,174 [NEIGHS] 138 00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,844 GET OFF ME! 139 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,586 I SAID, SEIZE HIM-- 140 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,067 ROBIN HOOD! 141 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,198 HIM! 142 00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:10,854 AAH! NO! 143 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,902 SEIZE HIM! 144 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,754 WHAT? 145 00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:56,247 [HORN PLAYING] 146 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,646 AAH-HA! 147 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,082 OOF! 148 00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,737 OH. 149 00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:14,222 ALL RIGHT, PRINCEY. HAND IT OVER. 150 00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:16,267 HAND WHAT OVER? 151 00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:19,314 I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY GOLD. 152 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,144 NO! 153 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,887 HOORAY! 154 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:32,240 HOORAY FOR ROBIN HOOD! 155 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:33,763 PRINCE JOHN, 156 00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:36,679 THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROUS CONTRIBUTION. 157 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,768 YAY, ROBIN! 158 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:43,207 ALL MY MONEY, MY MONEY, MY MONEY! 159 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,949 IT'S ALL GONE, ALL GONE! 160 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:48,473 HOW I HATE THAT ROBIN HOOD 161 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,736 WITH HIS CAP AND HIS FEATHER 162 00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,302 AND HIS ROBBING AND HIS GIVING 163 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:54,871 AND HIS RUNNING THROUGH THE FOREST GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT. 164 00:10:54,915 --> 00:11:00,094 I HATE HIM. HIM I HATE! 165 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,359 Sheriff: BUT I'VE DEVISED THE PERFECT SCHEME 166 00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:09,407 TO TRAP ROBIN HOOD AND HAVE HIM AT OUR MERCY. 167 00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,801 OH, GOODY, GOODY, GOODY! 168 00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,717 WHAT IS YOUR PERFECT SCHEME? 169 00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,806 WELL, FIRST... 170 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,286 AH, MAID MARIAN, 171 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:22,246 THE LOVELY WARD OF THE ABSENT KING RICHARD. 172 00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,422 GOOD AND REPULSIVE SHERIFF, 173 00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:28,035 DID I HEAR YOU SAY THAT YOU PLAN TO CAPTURE ROBIN HOOD? 174 00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,254 YES, MY LADY. 175 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,343 NO! AAH! 176 00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,823 PSST! PSST! 177 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,434 THE SCHEME, THE SCHEME! 178 00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,349 WHY, MARIAN! 179 00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:41,135 DO I DETECT THAT YOU HAVE FEELINGS 180 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,224 FOR THIS BANDIT? 181 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:44,399 OH, NO. FEELINGS? 182 00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,835 OH, NO. HE'S AN OUTLAW. 183 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,750 I SAY "FEH" TO ROBIN HOOD. 184 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:48,795 GOOD. 185 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,274 BECAUSE I WOULD HATE TO THINK 186 00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:53,277 THAT THE WOMAN I PLAN TO MARRY 187 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,976 LOVES ROBIN HOOD. 188 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:59,893 HA! LOVE THAT BRAVE, GORGEOUS, 189 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,503 HUNK OF A MERRY MAN? 190 00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:02,939 AH! 191 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:06,421 HOW COULD I, AFTER THE GLORIOUS GIFTS YOU'VE GIVEN ME? 192 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:09,119 THE 24-HOUR GUARD AT MY DOOR, 193 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,817 THE MOAT AROUND MY BED, 194 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:13,384 THE SECURITY CAMERAS IN THIS CORRIDOR. 195 00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:14,995 YOU'RE TOO GENEROUS. 196 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,387 [CHUCKLES] 197 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,999 JUST WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS. 198 00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:22,089 WAS IT YOU WHO MENTIONED A SCHEME? 199 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,569 WHAT IS YOUR SCHEME, SHERIFF? 200 00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:29,009 PRINCE JOHN WILL DECLARE A ROYAL ARCHERY CONTEST 201 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,968 TO TAKE PLACE ON THE CASTLE GROUNDS. 202 00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:35,406 ROBIN HOOD WILL, DOUBTLESS, SHOW UP. 203 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:38,235 THEN, WE HAVE HIM. 204 00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:46,461 UM, WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME? I HAVE TO FLOSS. 205 00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:47,723 SELMA, YOU MUST HELP ME. 206 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,987 I WANT YOU TO RELAY A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE 207 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:51,901 TO ROBIN HOOD. 208 00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,468 OH, WHAT IS THE MESSAGE? 209 00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:58,429 THE MESSAGE IS, THE ARCHERY CONTEST IS A TRAP. 210 00:12:58,473 --> 00:12:59,430 YOU GOT THAT? 211 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,389 OH, YES, M'LADY. 212 00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,875 GET THIS MESSAGE TO ROBIN HOOD. 213 00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:11,094 YES, YES? 214 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:14,576 UM, THE PARTRIDGE TREE CONQUEST 215 00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:16,404 IS A SNAP. 216 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:30,070 GET THIS MESSAGE TO ROBIN HOOD. 217 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:33,116 THE TAUGHT AWFULLY DUMB TEST... 218 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,422 [PANTING] 219 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:37,077 HAS NO PLUCK. 220 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:43,431 OK, HERE'S YOUR TAX MONEY. 221 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:46,260 NOW GO WITH MY BLESSINGS. 222 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:49,306 [PANTS] ARE YOU ROBIN HOOD? 223 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,394 THAT DEPENDS. 224 00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:54,442 I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM THE MAID MARIAN. 225 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,574 THE MESSAGE IS, 226 00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:57,967 UH... 227 00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,882 NO STARCH IN THE COLLAR, 228 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:02,624 AND I'D LIKE MY SHIRTS...AAH! 229 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,495 WRAPPED. 230 00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:05,453 LITTLE JOHN, 231 00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:07,368 GIVE ME YOUR GIBBERISH-ENGLISH, 232 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:10,371 ENGLISH-GIBBERISH DICTIONARY. 233 00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,591 "NO STARCHED IN THE COLLAR, 234 00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,506 AND I'D LIKE MY SHIRTS WRAPPED." 235 00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,204 TRANSLATION-- 236 00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,510 THE ARCHERY CONTEST IS A TRAP! 237 00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,686 YOU C-C-CAN'T GO! 238 00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,906 YOU'LL BE WALKING RIGHT INTO THEIR TRAP. 239 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,996 THERE'S NO TRAP THAT CAN HOLD... 240 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,345 ROBIN HOOD! 241 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:31,609 I SAW A BIG METAL TRAP ONCE WITH BIG, SHARP TEETH. 242 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:35,178 AND IT SPRINGS CLOSED ON YOUR FOOT, 243 00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,179 LIKE THIS! 244 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,659 I DON'T THINK HE HAS ONE OF THOSE. 245 00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:41,184 IF WE CAN'T S-S-STOP YOU, 246 00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:44,361 THEN WE'RE G-G-GOING WITH YOU. 247 00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,537 FINE. WITH YOUR HELP, 248 00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,496 I WILL WIN THE CONTEST, 249 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,672 THWART THE SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM, 250 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:52,717 AND SWEEP THE FAIR MAID MARIAN 251 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,981 OFF OF HER CUTE LITTLE TOOTSIES. 252 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:58,158 THEN LET'S BE OFF. 253 00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,463 WAIT! 254 00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:01,552 WE HAVE TO WEAR DISGUISES SO NO ONE NOTICES US. 255 00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:05,339 OH, GOOD, I'LL WEAR MY GREAT BIG PUMPKIN HEAD. 256 00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:09,169 YOU ALWAYS GET TO WEAR THE P-P-PUMPKIN HEAD. 257 00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,084 I WANT TO WEAR IT. 258 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:11,823 GUYS... 259 00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:14,043 IT'S MY PUMPKIN HEAD. 260 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:16,393 IT IS NOT. 261 00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:19,483 HIGHLY TRAINED PROFESSIONALS. 262 00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:26,099 GROG! GET YOUR ICE COLD GROG RIGHT HERE! 263 00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,449 GET YOUR GROG! 264 00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,455 AHH... 265 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,373 [GASPS] 266 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:44,117 [SNAP] YII! 267 00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:54,127 [FANFARE] 268 00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,695 AHEM... 269 00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,481 HERE ARE TODAY'S CONTESTANTS. 270 00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:04,441 COUNT BACKWARDS FROM 10, 271 00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:10,186 SIR TIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY, 272 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:13,146 MURRAY, 273 00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:15,452 BOBBIN HOOD. 274 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:19,674 NEVER LET A GOOD COSTUME GO TO WASTE. 275 00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:22,111 PSST! HUH? 276 00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:27,290 COMMENCE THE FIRST ROUND. 277 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:30,641 [FANFARE] 278 00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,823 Man: YEOW! 279 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,000 SORRY. 280 00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:46,831 OOF! COMMENCE THE SECOND ROUND! 281 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,572 [FANFARE] 282 00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:50,705 SHUT UP, ALREADY! 283 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:51,749 WHOA! 284 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,403 OOF! 285 00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,331 TWO CONTESTANTS LEFT. 286 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:13,380 LET THE FINAL TRAP-- UH, ROUND BEGIN. 287 00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:16,513 [FANFARE] 288 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,654 YAY! 289 00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,749 NO PROBLEM. 290 00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,409 OOH! 291 00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:44,846 [DRUM ROLL] 292 00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:51,548 YAY! 293 00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,810 YAHOO! 294 00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:56,858 Y-Y-YIPPEE! YIPPEE! 295 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:12,787 WELL, IT SEEMS WE HAVE A WINNER. 296 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:16,660 WELL, MR. BOBBIN HOOD. 297 00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:17,966 WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 298 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:22,405 I AM FROM THAT PLACE WHERE JUSTICE STILL REIGNS. 299 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,842 I SPEAK OF SHERWOOD FOREST, 300 00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:27,410 THE HOME OF ROBIN HOOD. 301 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,847 YOU'VE WALKED RIGHT INTO MY TRAP. 302 00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:32,589 YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY HUNDREDS 303 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,809 OF MY MOST FEROCIOUS GUARDS. 304 00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:38,291 THE ODDS ARE MOST CERTAINLY AGAINST YOU. 305 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,162 THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG, 306 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:43,513 FOR I HAVE MY TWO MOST TRUSTED MERRY MEN-- 307 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,776 THE COOL GUY AND THE PUMPKIN HEAD. 308 00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:49,693 TOGETHER, WE WILL LIBERATE THE FAIR MAID MARIAN, 309 00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,522 THAT IS, IF SHE'LL HAVE ME. 310 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:55,786 HI. 311 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:58,485 FINE. THE WEDDING IS OFF. 312 00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,269 SEIZE THEM! 313 00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:10,323 [PLAYING BASS NOTES] 314 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:16,416 [PLAYING SWING] 315 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:26,774 THIS MUSIC IS OUTLAWED. 316 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:33,955 GUARDS, STOP THEM! HUH? 317 00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,874 STOP THAT! 318 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:45,880 STOP THAT! STOP THAT! 319 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:56,804 I SUSPECTED THEY WERE HEP CATS. 320 00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:09,904 [SWING ENDS] 321 00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:12,776 [PLAYING GUITAR] 322 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:23,309 NO! OH, NO! 323 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:26,268 WHO ARE YOU, VISITOR? 324 00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:28,357 WHY, IT'S THE WOLF, 325 00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:31,882 DRESSED JUST LIKE MY GRANDMA. 326 00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,972 WHAT'S THE MATTER, PRINCE JOHN? 327 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:38,889 DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN BROTHER? 328 00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:40,369 THE KING! 329 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:41,805 IT'S THE KING! 330 00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:42,980 ELVIS? 331 00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:45,331 WHA... 332 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,597 KING RICHARD, YOUR MAJESTY. 333 00:20:58,344 --> 00:20:59,823 WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY THRONE? 334 00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:04,741 OH, MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS. IS THIS YOUR THRONE? 335 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,744 MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, DICK-- 336 00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:11,008 UH...RICH, UH...YOUR HIGHNESS. 337 00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:15,796 LONG LIVE THE KING! 338 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,798 All: LONG LIVE THE KING! 339 00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:21,628 WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK, YOUR MAJESTY. 340 00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:26,023 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? SOFT DRINK, A HOT TOWEL? 341 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:27,068 20 BUCKS? 342 00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:28,722 -SHUT UP. -SHUT UP. 343 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:32,116 YOU HATH TRIED TO USURP ME. 344 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,944 I HATE THAT. 345 00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:35,337 I SENTENCE EACH OF YOU 346 00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:38,949 TO 10 YEARS OF WATCHING THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK. 347 00:21:38,993 --> 00:21:39,950 TAKE THEM AWAY. 348 00:21:39,994 --> 00:21:40,951 HUH? 349 00:21:40,995 --> 00:21:42,605 AAH! 350 00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:44,955 NO! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! 351 00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:48,002 NO, PLEASE! AAH! 352 00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:49,960 AAH! 353 00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:52,920 NOW, WHICH OF MY SUBJECTS 354 00:21:52,963 --> 00:21:55,444 PLAYED THAT COOL AND GLORIOUS MUSIC 355 00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:56,750 I HEARD UPON MY ARRIVAL? 356 00:21:56,793 --> 00:22:01,058 IT WAS I, ROBIN HOOD, AND MY BAND OF MERRY MEN. 357 00:22:01,102 --> 00:22:05,628 THEN KNEEL BEFORE ME, ROBIN HOOD. 358 00:22:07,108 --> 00:22:10,981 I DUB THEE SIR ROBIN OF HOOD, 359 00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,984 THE KING OF SWING. 360 00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:19,686 THANKS, YOUR MAJESTY. 361 00:22:19,729 --> 00:22:22,166 SIR ROBIN, YOU AND YOUR BAND 362 00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,994 SHALL PLAY ALL THE BIG PARTIES 363 00:22:24,038 --> 00:22:25,866 AT THE NOTTINGHAM HALL OF CATERING, 364 00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:29,826 COMMENCING WITH YOUR OWN WEDDING TO MY WARD, 365 00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:32,481 THE FAIR MAID MARIAN. 366 00:22:32,525 --> 00:22:35,049 AHH. 367 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,835 M-M-M-MAZEL TOV! 368 00:22:38,879 --> 00:22:42,012 THREE CHEERS FOR ROBIN HOOD! 369 00:22:42,056 --> 00:22:47,627 CHEER! 370 00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:51,892 AND WHAT SAY YE TO ME, SWEET ROBIN? 371 00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:57,027 MARIAN, WHAT BIG EYES YOU HAVE. 372 00:22:57,071 --> 00:23:00,030 WHAT BIG LIPS YOU HAVE. 373 00:23:00,074 --> 00:23:01,684 WHAT A BIG SNOOT-- 374 00:23:01,728 --> 00:23:03,860 HOLD IT. H-H-HOLD IT! 375 00:23:03,904 --> 00:23:07,603 I THOUGHT YOU SAID N-N-NO LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD. 376 00:23:07,647 --> 00:23:11,041 IF THE LINE WORKS, THE LINE WORKS. 377 00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:14,567 AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, 378 00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:15,916 ESPECIALLY ME, 379 00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:17,613 STARTING IN ABOUT 2 SECONDS. 380 00:23:17,657 --> 00:23:21,748 AH HA! NOW, WHERE WERE WE? 381 00:23:25,099 --> 00:23:27,754 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMENT 382 00:23:27,797 --> 00:23:32,193 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 383 00:23:33,934 --> 00:23:34,978 HI, LETTERHEADS. 384 00:23:35,022 --> 00:23:38,939 IT'S TIME TO DIP INTO THE BAG O' MAIL. 385 00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:44,684 WRONG BAG. THAT'S MY LUNCH. 386 00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:49,950 "YO, ALFER, I'M AN ALIEN, TOO. 387 00:23:49,993 --> 00:23:53,040 "I'M AS CUTE AND FURRY AND TALENTED AS YOU, 388 00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:54,650 "AND I CAN DANCE. 389 00:23:54,694 --> 00:23:57,871 "THE NETWORKS ARE BEATING DOWN MY SPACESHIP DOOR 390 00:23:57,914 --> 00:23:59,699 "FOR ME TO DO A SERIES. 391 00:23:59,742 --> 00:24:01,657 "MY AGENT IS SURE I WILL BE AT LEAST 392 00:24:01,701 --> 00:24:03,006 "THE BIGGEST STAR AS YOU. 393 00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:05,269 "WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU OFFER ME? 394 00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:08,621 SIGNED, ALF LIKE YOU." 395 00:24:08,664 --> 00:24:10,927 DEAR ALF LIKE ME, 396 00:24:10,971 --> 00:24:13,495 DON'T WASTE YOUR TALENTS ON TV. 397 00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:16,237 TURN YOURSELF OVER TO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT 398 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,065 ALIEN TASK FORCE DIVISION. 399 00:24:18,108 --> 00:24:20,720 THEY'LL TAKE REAL GOOD CARE OF YOUR CAREER. 400 00:24:20,763 --> 00:24:22,678 DO WHATEVER THEY TELL YOU TO DO, 401 00:24:22,722 --> 00:24:25,072 EVEN IF IT INVOLVES CAGES AND ELECTRODES 402 00:24:25,115 --> 00:24:29,946 AND BRAIN WAVES. THEY KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU. 403 00:24:29,990 --> 00:24:32,906 AND THIS GOES FOR ANY OTHER AMBITIOUS ALIEN OUT THERE. 404 00:24:32,949 --> 00:24:37,127 THE REST OF YOU, I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 405 00:24:37,824 --> 00:24:40,000 THE NERVE! 26521

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