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oh
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yeah we're gonna break this thing down
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right now we're gonna do it like what
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come on y'all y'all know how i do it
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hell yeah don't hide dumb don't hide
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i get my worms out it's just the birds
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out
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in other words now put it in your mouth
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yeah how nice how nice
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i got you on the line like every other
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about time
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i mount you on the wall inside my double
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wide
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double word listen up listen up that's
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enough from you
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put your hands up i had enough so put
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the money in the truck
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check it out now let me get my flow on
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let me take a minute
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of y'all's fair time i was small mouth
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fishing on the 4th of july
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um
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all you ever wanted was to be loved
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okay put her with the pups
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[Music]
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why do we put her with the pups ain't
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you ever heard about this
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no you know the mama wolf and the other
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wolves they'll come along and sniff her
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a little bit
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and then they'll raise her
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what if they eat her instead they ain't
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gonna eat her
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now put her in with him
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[Music]
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oh
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[Music]
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you want hot sauce on your chitlins
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[Music]
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[Music]
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you might want to see this
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[Music]
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there were little miss pageants in 1989
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still springs little miss pageant is
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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ally dawson
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[Applause]
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ready okay in the eighth grade
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you were briefly a cheerleader
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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oh hell no
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you met a man
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and for a little while life was good
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[Music]
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so
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for a moment love was all that mattered
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oh tutor i think i love you live the
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park ranger's gonna hear us
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you both found rewarding careers
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[Music]
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i think he needs a little more
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you had dreams
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i smell your pheromones
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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but soon the honeymoon was over
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maybe the old bathroom
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[Music]
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i need you to fix my faucet
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i don't think i'm in the mood to do
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anything for you
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this is one of the prettiest lakes we've
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made
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well i have to make my cookies for
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delilah's birthday party girl
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[Music]
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hey where the hell do you think you're
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going anywhere from here
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oh yeah and what makes you think i'm
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just gonna let you up and leave me tutor
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you touched my phone don't you get in
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that car you touched my photo i'll kill
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you to the pants
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turtle get out of the car now
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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you tried to leave
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all righty then what else can i do today
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to make my lovely sparkle happy
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but you couldn't stand being with a man
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who was missing
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honey what did i do did i take too long
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with the sink
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sparkle honey we can work this out
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and then tragedy struck and you lost
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your livelihood
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you
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you were a woman who could no longer be
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distracted
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and why are you making a paper mache of
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a masturbate michaelis
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it's leroy johnson stupid and he's only
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the best bass fisherman to ever come out
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of estelle springs
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well i'd like to hear the news
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we're live on the scene here at heritage
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bank trust on campbell boulevard where a
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local columbia man has just been
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arrested for robbing the bank
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the man identified as junior
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stubblefield said he needed the money
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for a new fast boat you see there
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junior dropped out same time you did oh
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look here he is on six o'clock news
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you got a point god he's this boy's
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famous tudor and you're sitting around
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here scratching your nuts making paper
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mache
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bass fisherman i told you not to make
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fun of my leroy and you know what i
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robbed no damn bank
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i mean hey they got them dive bombs they
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put them right in the money
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and two they got them silent alarms
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go straight to the police station and d
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with my luck i'll get shot in the back
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going out the back
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door by one of them security guards well
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when did you become such an all-fire
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wuss you call me whatever you want but i
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ain't robbing no damn bank
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well okay so we'll rob a convenience
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store then go rob it yourself
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now hey i want to be famous don't you be
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throwing [ __ ] at my sculpture
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i don't give a damn about your sculpture
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well you better start caring you better
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start deciding you're going to help me
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rob a convenience store buster
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because until you do this here apple pie
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is off limits
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l native
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[Music]
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[Music]
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thank you sure thing man
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is this about the car wash tell her baby
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we need your money i'm sorry we don't
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give no refunds now i can give you a
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free token but i can't promise you
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anything about the paint job give me all
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your money don't
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yell at me you [ __ ] up my beltone
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oh come on tutor reach back there and
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get that damn money from behind the
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register you better back off tutor
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don't be using my name now i'll use your
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name any damn time i want and i
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sure as hell am not going to give you no
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damn money
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okay now look listen here yelled hag
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this here's a robbery
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okay so what i need you to do is reach
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back there and grab all your money from
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behind the register and give it to my
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man here before i have to give you some
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38 caliber body piercing
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go ahead and shoot it i got chemo
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tomorrow i got nothing to live for
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anyway
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no give me you you punk i'll bite off
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your ears and make you scream tyson
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oh baby you hear that that's all right
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they're coming to get us
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oh [ __ ] boy now come on wake up
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wake up daddy needs a hostage come on
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man
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they didn't they didn't arrest us i mean
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that they didn't even slow down well
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that's just plum awful now ain't it
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well how are we gonna be famous if
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nobody will arrest us you ever see
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bonnie clyde you ain't gotta get
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arrested be famous
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well at least we're still on camera
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hey it's me sparkle again this is tutor
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over here
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tutor wait for the camera why don't you
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just go get my dress
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no baby that's an idea you think i
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should
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hey tutor it's me sparkle sparkle two oh
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later oh come on hon you know i was only
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kidding
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if they had our dress and take all the
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fun out of it you go ahead and give them
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your two i sure ain't gonna be here
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we'll see me we're gonna go hide out now
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right just like funny quad
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will i do deserve you come on let's go
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back to the motel and i give you a zoey
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ugh
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[Applause]
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it says here that 18th street
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mini mart was robbed last night well
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they even got her pictures in here tudor
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are you gonna let me finish
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the cashier velma roshare
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received a slight knock to the head
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but is recovering at home and is
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expected to return to work
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by the end of the week sheriff ray
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porter
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says there are no suspects at this time
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no suspects i post
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twice for that stupid camera
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now hey hey yourself where am i gonna be
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famous
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now you don't leave my liro alone and
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you're gonna be dead
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now girl now i told you they might not
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write us up and they didn't
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so you might as well just face fact that
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you and i ain't meant to be famous
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alone
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how long could they just put us in the
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aid section
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[Music]
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i know one of my whole life was to be
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somebody
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and they ain't even give us a chance
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i'll look right into that camera
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baby just some things ain't meant to be
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you know i mean maybe that's just the
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good lord's way of saying that
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we ain't supposed to be robbing people
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i mean spawn them
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don't you think it's time that you and i
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just made ourselves an honest living
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doing what well
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ain't there anything else you ever want
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to do sides rob people
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well i used to want to be a calendar
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girl for the co-op
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ain't there anything else
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well
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[Music]
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for like a week in the seventh grade i
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want to be a beautician
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well beautician well see a beautician
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that's a career
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i mean you could go to work at the end
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of the week you got yourself a paycheck
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cash hard-earned money that you got to
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buy yourself
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things with and you you got to have all
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them fat truckers slobbered all over you
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you think i could do it
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i know you can what you gonna do baby
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well i reckon i just go work for my
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daddy your dad
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baby your daddy's crazy i mean that man
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ain't right
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you just gotta trust me i mean
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we can work this house
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we'll keep all the combs in that blue
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[ __ ] it's it's supposed to kill all the
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lights
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you was late from lunch yesterday wasn't
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you
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this is twice in two days mr pitts i
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swear it was an accident i just got
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caught in traffic on the way back from
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the barbecue place
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go on now take off mr pitch please give
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me another chance i swear it won't
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happen again
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now what was it you wanted son
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baby probably gotta be like everybody
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else
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00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:25.000
i mean if i have to work for 40 years i
286
00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:28.000
think i'll just die
287
00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:28.000
honey i know what you mean
288
00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:36.000
don't worry honey you keep sweeping up
289
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:37.000
real good maybe next week they'll let
290
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:40.000
you shampoo
291
00:19:37.000 --> 00:19:41.000
hey sparkle there is a whole bunch of
292
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:44.000
hair
293
00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:53.000
underneath this sink i think somebody
294
00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:53.000
painted it
295
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:10.000
okay and i'm ready to be famous so are
296
00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:14.000
you gonna help me or not
297
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:16.000
not tater i didn't have to sweep up two
298
00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:17.000
whole trash bags of other people's hair
299
00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:17.000
today and some of them with cubes i
300
00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:19.000
ain't
301
00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:21.000
dumb do you know that old woman when she
302
00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:23.000
bit me she broke the skin and i
303
00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:25.000
completely been on it three times today
304
00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:27.000
and i think it's infected ain't you got
305
00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:28.000
no drive
306
00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:30.000
i mean don't you want to do nothing with
307
00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:34.000
your life
308
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:34.000
nope okay
309
00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:46.000
hey i want you to tell me you're gonna
310
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.000
help me be famous
311
00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:50.000
now i'm gonna rob people you don't give
312
00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:51.000
me back that remote there's gonna be
313
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:53.000
trouble oh yeah
314
00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:55.000
well if you don't help me i'm gonna tell
315
00:20:53.000 --> 00:21:03.000
your daddy about your toe fetish
316
00:20:55.000 --> 00:21:05.000
he already knows you broke the remote
317
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:09.000
now you gonna help me are you spending
318
00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:09.000
the rest of your life on this damn couch
319
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:17.000
i think i'll take the couch
320
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.000
i'll just do it by myself i'll just rob
321
00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:08.000
people and be
322
00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:08.000
famous without no help from nobody
323
00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:14.000
and to think all this time i thought you
324
00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:14.000
really loved me
325
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:27.000
and i really loved you tudor pitts
326
00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:41.000
uh
327
00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:09.000
so
328
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:43.000
oh
329
00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:50.000
well when a man loves a woman sometimes
330
00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:52.000
he has to make some sense
331
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:54.000
well come on we got rapper to do let's
332
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:55.000
go let's get started hold your horses
333
00:23:54.000 --> 00:24:05.000
not just yet
334
00:23:55.000 --> 00:24:05.000
i want a toy
335
00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:09.000
so you say you was the cashier on duty
336
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:13.000
when the store was
337
00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:16.000
robbed that's right are you sure
338
00:24:13.000 --> 00:24:18.000
no how would i not be sure it was me
339
00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:20.000
well you know sometimes people ain't
340
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:21.000
real happy with their lives and they
341
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.000
like to imagine
342
00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:26.000
something a little more glamorous they
343
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:30.000
took me to the hospital
344
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:31.000
i waited four damn hours in the damned
345
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:35.000
emergency roads
346
00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:37.000
four damn hours they give you any
347
00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.000
hallucinatory drugs while he was there
348
00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:42.000
you got any reason you're not
349
00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:43.000
questioning me about the robbery
350
00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:45.000
lady i'd just like to make sure there
351
00:24:43.000 --> 00:24:46.000
was actually a crime committed before i
352
00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:48.000
go to the trouble to launch an
353
00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:50.000
investigation
354
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:52.000
sometimes all that investigating makes
355
00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:57.000
me depressed
356
00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:57.000
and honey i don't sleep so good okay
357
00:24:57.000 --> 00:25:00.000
four damn hours
358
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:08.000
[Music]
359
00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:20.000
is it working no
360
00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:29.000
piece of crap we'll probably get robbed
361
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:29.000
yeah right
362
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.000
well we're just costing people i guess
363
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:56.000
going on in their costume parties are
364
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:58.000
you oh well
365
00:25:56.000 --> 00:26:00.000
no nothing i know of say when y'all
366
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:01.000
gonna get by the house my wife's been
367
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:03.000
asking me to get y'all come by and have
368
00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:03.000
some deer steak some poke salad well you
369
00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:05.000
know what how about
370
00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:07.000
uh well how about saturday night you
371
00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:07.000
might do that saturday does that work
372
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:09.000
for you pete
373
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:10.000
saturday works good for me well all
374
00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:11.000
right that's what we'll do we gotta get
375
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:13.000
in here and rob a bank pete but
376
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:15.000
we'll see you saturday y'all have a good
377
00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:15.000
day
378
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:21.000
we'll see you all right we'll see y'all
379
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:22.000
what are you doing he can identify us
380
00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:26.000
now
381
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:31.000
are you that stupid we can't be famous
382
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:31.000
nobody knows who we are tudor now come
383
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:40.000
on
384
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:43.000
all right now this here's a robbery so i
385
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:46.000
need to get down on the floor okay
386
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:50.000
i said this here's a robbery
387
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:53.000
oh crap
388
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.000
oh damn it would you cover me quit
389
00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:55.000
yelling at me i'm not the one who shut
390
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:57.000
out the ceiling
391
00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.000
punch your freaking gun at these people
392
00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:02.000
i bet that hurts don't it
393
00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:04.000
all right everybody who don't want a new
394
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:08.000
air conditioning system for your torso
395
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:11.000
better get on this floor now
396
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:11.000
on your stomach denture man
397
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:25.000
all right coin jockey fill the bag
398
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:25.000
and ain't nobody gonna get hurt
399
00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:31.000
you on deposit slip do you want to meet
400
00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:32.000
saint peter before tonight's dukes has a
401
00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:33.000
rerun
402
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:35.000
now fill this bag before i have to get
403
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:38.000
ugly too late for that
404
00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:41.000
shut up all right
405
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:44.000
now all y'all are gonna remember today
406
00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:47.000
cause today is the day you was robbed
407
00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:49.000
by the plastic bandits that is the most
408
00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:50.000
stupidest thing i have
409
00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:52.000
ever heard in my entire life ain't
410
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.000
nobody asked you
411
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:57.000
hey and no dive bombs in that money
412
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:57.000
neither
413
00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:03.000
oh come on you freaking cabbage head
414
00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:06.000
wash it off
415
00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:08.000
my shirt my shirt is ruined
416
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:10.000
my grandmother got me this shirt for
417
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:11.000
mule day oh forget it let's go
418
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:12.000
you're gonna have blood on that shirt if
419
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:14.000
you don't do what i told you to now wash
420
00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:18.000
my money
421
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:21.000
with what i don't care spit on it
422
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:22.000
oh i'm leaving oh tutor pitch you stop
423
00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:24.000
right there
424
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:26.000
you were not leaving without me tutor
425
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:31.000
this here's my robbery you're gonna help
426
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:31.000
me finish it
427
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:45.000
now don't y'all go nowhere
428
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:58.000
well don't you leave me in the middle of
429
00:28:53.000 --> 00:29:01.000
a robbery i'm leaving
430
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:12.000
stop stop think oh
431
00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:14.000
you hit my head foot oh crap
432
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:16.000
just what the hell do you think you're
433
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:19.000
doing i'm stressed and i need fish
434
00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:20.000
no we have to go to the safe house we'll
435
00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:22.000
go later
436
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:23.000
you can't just go just any old time you
437
00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:26.000
gotta go right after the robbery where
438
00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:29.000
the cops are hot on your trail you see
439
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:29.000
any cops around here
440
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:41.000
you sure you don't wanna fish
441
00:29:56.000 --> 00:30:01.000
well leroy johnson is going to be
442
00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:01.000
fishing this lake in two weeks
443
00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:04.000
well the southern regional bass
444
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:05.000
association tournament i just
445
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:08.000
i thought you might want to fish it with
446
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:11.000
me i'd sooner have my
447
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:11.000
eyes knocked out by the rat
448
00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:23.000
for your choice
449
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:28.000
damn i got one i got one
450
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:35.000
so uh you say you were the teller that
451
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:38.000
was robbed
452
00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:43.000
yes sir are you willing to submit to a
453
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:43.000
polygraph test to confirm that sign
454
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:47.000
[Music]
455
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:53.000
huh
456
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:53.000
[Applause]
457
00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:58.000
oh this stupid earthquake is halfway
458
00:30:56.000 --> 00:31:00.000
around the world and they got half the
459
00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:04.000
paper covered up with it
460
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.000
i'll take it in there hold on
461
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:19.000
so let me rise up this time i guess next
462
00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:19.000
time
463
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:24.000
oh what do you care
464
00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:28.000
you never care nothing for my dreams
465
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:32.000
anyway
466
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:35.000
you're right about that you know what
467
00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:37.000
and then she made the truth so clear you
468
00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:40.000
just give me another talent before i
469
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:40.000
even think about doing any more robbers
470
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:50.000
all right shut it
471
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:52.000
no you better be nice to me or you know
472
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.000
me about a million toes before i
473
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:56.000
probably think about doing any robberies
474
00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:58.000
anybody ever told you you're a prevert
475
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:01.000
it's pervert
476
00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:15.000
stupid and yes they have
477
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:15.000
many many times
478
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:29.000
number one
479
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:38.000
[Music]
480
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:53.000
all right listen up now this here's a
481
00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:56.000
robbery so i'm gonna need all y'all to
482
00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:59.000
get on the floor for me okay a robbery
483
00:32:56.000 --> 00:33:01.000
on the floor barley tasty
484
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:03.000
you know what don't you even start i'll
485
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:11.000
walk out here before we even get started
486
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:11.000
no more banks i said get on the floor
487
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:17.000
[Music]
488
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:25.000
me
489
00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:32.000
sheriff we got a 10 20 in progress down
490
00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:36.000
at the co-op
491
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:36.000
hello deputy snot
492
00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:39.000
sheriff don't take this the wrong way
493
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:41.000
but i really appreciate it if you could
494
00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:44.000
get my name right
495
00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:47.000
it's not well snot
496
00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:47.000
is funnier
497
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:52.000
you shot my chicken feet what you better
498
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:54.000
get on this damn floor right to pump you
499
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:58.000
fully leg
500
00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:58.000
shut your mouth tudor on the floor
501
00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:03.000
all right now give me all your money
502
00:34:03.000 --> 00:34:07.000
what what else
503
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:16.000
and six bags super protein catfish chow
504
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:18.000
and a sweeney model 418 super out of
505
00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:20.000
fish feeder
506
00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:21.000
that's in another room and we'll go with
507
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:23.000
you
508
00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:25.000
[Music]
509
00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:28.000
hey hey where where's your surveillance
510
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:31.000
cameras don't have none
511
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:32.000
oh see tutor i told you they wouldn't
512
00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:35.000
have one
513
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:40.000
well you wouldn't sell me lisa
514
00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:40.000
i hate you come on
515
00:34:43.000 --> 00:34:46.000
[Music]
516
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:48.000
so we gonna at least try to catch the
517
00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:51.000
criminals
518
00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:53.000
it's not snot snot when are you gonna
519
00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:55.000
stop trying to compensate for the vast
520
00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:56.000
meaninglessness of your pathetic
521
00:34:55.000 --> 00:35:00.000
existence
522
00:34:56.000 --> 00:35:03.000
with these feudal gestures of
523
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.000
machisbo i think it's just been a long
524
00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:08.000
time since we've arrested anybody
525
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:10.000
i think we owe it to the people who
526
00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:12.000
elected you you performed this duty you
527
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:15.000
were entrusted to perform
528
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:16.000
you know snotty you are just a huge pain
529
00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.000
in
530
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:22.000
my huge ass
531
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:22.000
[Music]
532
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.000
you know i ain't never cheated in a
533
00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:32.000
tournament before
534
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:33.000
this kind of milestone on me i thought
535
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:36.000
you could leash on me little support and
536
00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:39.000
be happy for me
537
00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:39.000
[Music]
538
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:45.000
i think you can be happy for me
539
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:49.000
why can't we just be like normal
540
00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:52.000
criminals
541
00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:52.000
[Music]
542
00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:59.000
i hate you big lug
543
00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:10.000
[Music]
544
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:16.000
i made a list of things that bonnie and
545
00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:18.000
clyde is doing that we ain't been doing
546
00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:20.000
let's see first of all they was robin
547
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:21.000
banks and they got their relatives
548
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:22.000
together and formed a gang and they had
549
00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:24.000
a sidekick
550
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:26.000
and they sure as hell didn't go run off
551
00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:27.000
to the lake fishing every time they did
552
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:32.000
damn robbery neither
553
00:36:27.000 --> 00:36:32.000
your move chop suey don't call me that
554
00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:37.000
b-29
555
00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:43.000
you saw my battleship huh play again
556
00:36:41.000 --> 00:36:46.000
fork over that sushi money wong man you
557
00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:54.000
cheated put your money to pay up come on
558
00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:55.000
bun don byron
559
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:57.000
mom are you even listening to me
560
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:58.000
something i'm doing my best not to but
561
00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:00.000
you're hard to ignore
562
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:02.000
i already done told her my conditions oh
563
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.000
god don't even
564
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:06.000
start with that toei stuff cause i am
565
00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:10.000
done i'm finished
566
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:10.000
no toei no robbery
567
00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:23.000
the hell's a toy
568
00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:37.000
oh
569
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:50.000
[Music]
570
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:55.000
[Music]
571
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:19.000
is there a q do we have a q
572
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:25.000
i'm sorry there is no q it's back to you
573
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:25.000
gar
574
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:33.000
is there a b do we have a b
575
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:58.000
you want them to be in our gang
576
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:58.000
you got any better ideas
577
00:38:58.000 --> 00:39:02.000
i got lots of better ideas
578
00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:06.000
cousin gill hey cuz
579
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:12.000
oh now gil you're just in time we're
580
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:13.000
practicing for unison's big break
581
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:17.000
as soon as you get smokey out of the
582
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:18.000
oven we're heading out to hollywood
583
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:22.000
she's going to apprentice herself to
584
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:25.000
miss white gill it ain't working again
585
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:25.000
damn football scoreboard gar go hold the
586
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.000
wires
587
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:32.000
i don't want to son
588
00:39:29.000 --> 00:39:34.000
this is a family project if your daddy
589
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:36.000
tells you to go hold the wires
590
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:37.000
you go hold the wires but i don't want
591
00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:40.000
to get shocked like frogger
592
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:43.000
you go holding wires all cancer your
593
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:43.000
cinemax
594
00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:52.000
you gotta reason with structure
595
00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:56.000
or they'll just go crazy
596
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:59.000
oh gilgar's down
597
00:39:56.000 --> 00:40:00.000
damn scudder i bought him an internet
598
00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:02.000
course in electronics and look what he
599
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.000
does
600
00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:06.000
so uh how do y'all feel about robbing
601
00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:07.000
banks you mean ethically or morally
602
00:40:06.000 --> 00:40:09.000
well me we're getting ready to start our
603
00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:11.000
new life of crime and we just thought
604
00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:12.000
you and eunice here
605
00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:15.000
might want to be our psyche hey you
606
00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:15.000
reckon we ought to call an ambulance
607
00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:20.000
you alive kill her
608
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:25.000
well maybe we should do cpr is he
609
00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:27.000
breathing
610
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:28.000
well i don't think so i reckon we better
611
00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:30.000
do it then
612
00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:32.000
we'll go ahead i don't know nothing
613
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:35.000
about that stuff
614
00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:36.000
here maybe i'll just drag him up teddr
615
00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:39.000
help him
616
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:42.000
hey tudor grab a leg
617
00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:42.000
come on boy
618
00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:55.000
and wires got the best of you huh boy so
619
00:40:54.000 --> 00:40:57.000
y'all think you'd be interesting
620
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.000
you know what and being our sidekicks
621
00:40:57.000 --> 00:41:01.000
robin banks
622
00:40:59.000 --> 00:41:02.000
i reckon we better pass this time we
623
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:04.000
still got a lot of caution to do on miss
624
00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:06.000
unisys here technique
625
00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:07.000
i reckon olgar here's gotta learn some
626
00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:21.000
more about electronics
627
00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:21.000
i'm boy
628
00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:36.000
[Music]
629
00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:43.000
[Applause]
630
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:43.000
[Music]
631
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:49.000
cousin sand hi it's me sparkles
632
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:58.000
you just won't do it had her in there
633
00:41:56.000 --> 00:42:01.000
for three days now
634
00:41:58.000 --> 00:42:03.000
you ain't so much just sniffed her jiggy
635
00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:03.000
box
636
00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:07.000
are you trying to breed them
637
00:42:09.000 --> 00:42:13.000
it's been in heat since my buddy brought
638
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:15.000
her out here on tuesday
639
00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:17.000
i didn't tried visual aids and
640
00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:17.000
everything
641
00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:22.000
he just ain't interested
642
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:31.000
well sometimes them dogs go the other
643
00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:31.000
way
644
00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:38.000
best stained [ __ ] dog ever had
645
00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:40.000
took my mama's hairdresser quail hunting
646
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:45.000
with us once
647
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:47.000
reckon that's what did it
648
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:48.000
well anyways we was wondering if you
649
00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:50.000
might want to rob banks with us and you
650
00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:53.000
know like being our gang
651
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:55.000
you think you might want to do that i
652
00:42:53.000 --> 00:42:59.000
ain't leaving
653
00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.000
he doesn't
654
00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:13.000
so
655
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:33.000
well appears this whole gang thing ain't
656
00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:35.000
working out
657
00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:37.000
appears to me ain't nobody asked you for
658
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:39.000
your two cents
659
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:41.000
you know anybody ever tell your whole
660
00:43:39.000 --> 00:43:42.000
family ain't nothing but a bunch of nut
661
00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:43.000
jobs
662
00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:46.000
anybody ever tell you you got diarrhea
663
00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:46.000
the mouth
664
00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:52.000
well that right there is going to cost
665
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:53.000
you another toei oh shove your damn toei
666
00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:55.000
and my family ate a bunch of nut jobs
667
00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:55.000
neither
668
00:44:01.000 --> 00:44:14.000
[Music]
669
00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:23.000
[Music]
670
00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:23.000
so
671
00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:40.000
i'll go first
672
00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:50.000
oh who goes there it's me
673
00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:53.000
cousin sparkle approach
674
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:54.000
what's the password now what the hell's
675
00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:58.000
wrong with you open the dang door
676
00:44:54.000 --> 00:44:58.000
what's password i don't know the dang
677
00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:05.000
password
678
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:17.000
no man i'm allergic all right here so
679
00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:18.000
what was wondering is
680
00:45:17.000 --> 00:45:20.000
maybe if y'all would want to join up
681
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:23.000
with us and bear gang you know and help
682
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:23.000
us rob people
683
00:45:26.000 --> 00:45:33.000
define rob well you know like
684
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:35.000
banks and convenience stores and places
685
00:45:33.000 --> 00:45:35.000
and money
686
00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:42.000
so you want to do
687
00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:46.000
i got to admit it does sound like a lot
688
00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:50.000
of fun
689
00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:51.000
but i can't come on why not i'm low
690
00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:53.000
profile
691
00:45:51.000 --> 00:45:54.000
ever since you shot that dea phil
692
00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:55.000
they've been bearing down on me right
693
00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:57.000
smart
694
00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.000
see you can help make us famous come on
695
00:45:57.000 --> 00:46:01.000
cuz oh god it's gonna be bunches of fun
696
00:45:59.000 --> 00:46:01.000
please
697
00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:09.000
no you're up for robbing a few banks i
698
00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:09.000
don't care
699
00:46:11.000 --> 00:46:14.000
i'd have to ride a shotgun you can ride
700
00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:15.000
wherever you want
701
00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:16.000
i can't stand riding in the back seat
702
00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:18.000
when i'm perpetrating yeah cause you can
703
00:46:16.000 --> 00:46:18.000
drive you can ride i don't care what you
704
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:22.000
do
705
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:29.000
what's the split um
706
00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:31.000
a split on the money what's this whip oh
707
00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:31.000
60 40.
708
00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:39.000
40 60. y'all 40 us six oh come on we
709
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:42.000
got started with bonnie and clyde here
710
00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:57.000
y'all know the relatives
711
00:46:42.000 --> 00:47:02.000
but i'm wanted
712
00:46:57.000 --> 00:47:05.000
all right 60 40.
713
00:47:02.000 --> 00:47:08.000
you might 40 60. 40 60 60 40 what
714
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.000
go get a snap and write a sub-contract
715
00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:10.000
all right so
716
00:47:09.000 --> 00:47:13.000
y'all got anybody in mind that might
717
00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:15.000
want to be our sidekick well
718
00:47:13.000 --> 00:47:16.000
my nephew's unemployment doesn't run out
719
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:25.000
i might be interested
720
00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:25.000
i got the necklace
721
00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:36.000
[Applause]
722
00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:36.000
now kill babies
723
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:40.000
broccoli old size kit
724
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:45.000
dirt blood own it family channel
725
00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:48.000
do you absolutely have to do that i'm
726
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:48.000
loosening it up
727
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:53.000
pocket
728
00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.000
i was just wondering if like policemen
729
00:48:02.000 --> 00:48:07.000
are gonna shoot at us
730
00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:09.000
i ain't scared you look out you can't be
731
00:48:07.000 --> 00:48:21.000
scared
732
00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:21.000
let's go
733
00:48:24.000 --> 00:48:30.000
[Music]
734
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:39.000
[Music]
735
00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:57.000
count to 100 backwards you've got
736
00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:57.000
something hon
737
00:48:57.000 --> 00:49:01.000
this here's a robbery give us the money
738
00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:04.000
and everybody on the floor with your
739
00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:17.000
hands up
740
00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:17.000
put the money in this smart boy
741
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:26.000
hey you tell no die bombs cause and no
742
00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:31.000
down bombs
743
00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:31.000
you die our money you die
744
00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:42.000
oh hey hey it's me again
745
00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:44.000
the plastic banded well with the camo
746
00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:45.000
bandits all right we got some new faces
747
00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:48.000
with us in case you couldn't tell
748
00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:50.000
we got what in the name of blue jesus
749
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:51.000
are you doing
750
00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:54.000
well i'm trying to be famous here well
751
00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:54.000
don't say my name or you can say mine if
752
00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:56.000
you want
753
00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:57.000
you stupid woman if they know your name
754
00:49:56.000 --> 00:50:01.000
they'll connect me to you
755
00:49:57.000 --> 00:50:04.000
don't call me stupid okay why not
756
00:50:01.000 --> 00:50:09.000
cause i got a gun in my hand your
757
00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:09.000
your money's ready count to 200
758
00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:13.000
twice
759
00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:38.000
do you feel better yet no
760
00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:40.000
[Music]
761
00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:50.000
but i have to take the tape to the
762
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:50.000
[Music]
763
00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:55.000
sheriff
764
00:50:58.000 --> 00:51:01.000
[Music]
765
00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:09.000
so
766
00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:23.000
everyone out of the truck put your hands
767
00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:23.000
where i can see them
768
00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:30.000
hands in the air oh yeah sorry everybody
769
00:51:27.000 --> 00:51:35.000
out now
770
00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:37.000
come on horsewell get out of the car
771
00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:39.000
i didn't know his first name was horse
772
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:43.000
come on on the ground all of you
773
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:43.000
i hope you're happy we're going to jail
774
00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:51.000
let me get you for this woman i'm going
775
00:51:47.000 --> 00:51:51.000
to get you for this
776
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:56.000
this is so exciting horse well you got
777
00:51:54.000 --> 00:51:59.000
five seconds before i open fire
778
00:51:56.000 --> 00:52:00.000
all right all right don't get your
779
00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:02.000
panties in a wad
780
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:05.000
come on face down on the ground all
781
00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:05.000
right all right i'm going
782
00:52:08.000 --> 00:52:15.000
all right all right oh good mike you
783
00:52:11.000 --> 00:52:15.000
still have to be so tight
784
00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:19.000
the same fellow restaurants
785
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:23.000
[Music]
786
00:52:31.000 --> 00:52:35.000
go you go i ain't saying a word hey shut
787
00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:38.000
it up okay
788
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:40.000
come on take your feet all right turn
789
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:40.000
around
790
00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:47.000
i don't want to sit in the back
791
00:52:54.000 --> 00:53:00.000
hey hey are you crazy we're with him
792
00:52:58.000 --> 00:53:03.000
we're just rocking back
793
00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:03.000
this town just get away with it
794
00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:10.000
hey we got guns in here real ones
795
00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:12.000
oh dang it
796
00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:14.000
to the pits i want you to take us to
797
00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:16.000
that sheriff so we can surrender
798
00:53:14.000 --> 00:53:17.000
i'm going to the lake but come on this
799
00:53:16.000 --> 00:53:20.000
ain't fair and you know
800
00:53:17.000 --> 00:53:21.000
it funny and clyde never had clyde's
801
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:23.000
brother get arrested instead of them
802
00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:26.000
that's just stupid
803
00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:28.000
wife's a [ __ ] if you really cared about
804
00:53:26.000 --> 00:53:31.000
me you take us that sheriff
805
00:53:28.000 --> 00:53:32.000
well then i guess i guess by that
806
00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:34.000
definition
807
00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:36.000
[Music]
808
00:53:34.000 --> 00:53:36.000
i don't care
809
00:53:37.000 --> 00:53:43.000
i'll give you a towie not if you gave me
810
00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:43.000
two
811
00:53:44.000 --> 00:53:49.000
you know sometimes i don't even think
812
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:49.000
you're committed to this relationship
813
00:53:49.000 --> 00:53:53.000
you got that right tutor all i ask is
814
00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:54.000
that you take me down the police station
815
00:53:53.000 --> 00:53:56.000
and surrender
816
00:53:54.000 --> 00:53:59.000
you can't even do one thing for once in
817
00:53:56.000 --> 00:54:11.000
your life that would make me happy
818
00:53:59.000 --> 00:54:11.000
oh are you even listening to me
819
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:22.000
[Music]
820
00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:27.000
you have a sad face chicken butts
821
00:54:31.000 --> 00:54:36.000
you remove egg roll if we were in hong
822
00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:38.000
kong i could have you killed
823
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:40.000
if frog had wings want bubs ass on the
824
00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:43.000
ground all the time the movie damn peace
825
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:46.000
i'm trying to concentrate ah here it is
826
00:54:43.000 --> 00:54:46.000
here it is i found it
827
00:54:47.000 --> 00:54:55.000
d3 boy you just saw hey got something in
828
00:54:52.000 --> 00:54:55.000
your throat hun
829
00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:59.000
the main branch of heritage bank was
830
00:54:58.000 --> 00:55:02.000
robbed
831
00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:06.000
yesterday afternoon at approximately
832
00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:10.000
1 33 central standard time authorities
833
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:11.000
have taken into custody horse and barley
834
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.000
webb
835
00:55:11.000 --> 00:55:17.000
and conjunction
836
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:18.000
with the incident the webs are known
837
00:55:17.000 --> 00:55:21.000
fugitives
838
00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:22.000
wanted previously for the killing of a
839
00:55:21.000 --> 00:55:24.000
drug
840
00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:25.000
enforcement agency agent they were
841
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:27.000
denied fail
842
00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:30.000
and will face a grand jury later this
843
00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:31.000
month witnesses said that the webs had a
844
00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:35.000
man and a woman
845
00:55:31.000 --> 00:55:38.000
with them but it is not known
846
00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:42.000
whether they were accomplices or
847
00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:45.000
hostages and no one has been able to
848
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:45.000
identify them
849
00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:50.000
i that's funny
850
00:55:49.000 --> 00:55:52.000
i reckon y'all couldn't get a headline
851
00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:56.000
if captured a ufo it's not
852
00:55:52.000 --> 00:55:56.000
funny hell it ain't it's hilarious
853
00:56:01.000 --> 00:56:08.000
well okay now
854
00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:08.000
we'll just have to try again
855
00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:13.000
tutor you got any ideas on who can
856
00:56:11.000 --> 00:56:15.000
replace cousin webb and darla
857
00:56:13.000 --> 00:56:31.000
honey i believe my bait robin days reach
858
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:31.000
their natural conclusion
859
00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:40.000
[Music]
860
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:44.000
missy and bubba twist their way to fame
861
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:47.000
with unusual murders and this
862
00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:59.000
taught passat
863
00:56:47.000 --> 00:56:59.000
zaka in this taught thriller
864
00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:14.000
we've got any of them grape cherry
865
00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:17.000
mortar oil salts worms
866
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:19.000
got two bags of them i might need to
867
00:57:17.000 --> 00:57:22.000
borrow one from you here in a minute
868
00:57:19.000 --> 00:57:24.000
all right hey baby are you catching
869
00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:27.000
anything
870
00:57:24.000 --> 00:57:29.000
what are you doing here woman okay look
871
00:57:27.000 --> 00:57:32.000
i found the key to our fame
872
00:57:29.000 --> 00:57:33.000
we're gonna be copycat killers now all
873
00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:35.000
we got to do
874
00:57:33.000 --> 00:57:37.000
is copy the murders and this hair novel
875
00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:38.000
won't be bigger than millie minnelli
876
00:57:37.000 --> 00:57:40.000
baby
877
00:57:38.000 --> 00:57:42.000
you starting on killing people's tutor
878
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:43.000
why don't you just go on home and take
879
00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:44.000
your medication
880
00:57:43.000 --> 00:57:46.000
oh come on now tutor you know i ain't
881
00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:48.000
got no medication are you gonna help me
882
00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:50.000
kill people and be famous or not
883
00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:52.000
why are i just going up there and giving
884
00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:55.000
you spanking well why don't you just
885
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:55.000
jump whenever you feel froggy kermit
886
00:57:56.000 --> 00:58:01.000
oh come on tudor it's got some real neat
887
00:57:59.000 --> 00:58:02.000
murders in here like this first one
888
00:58:01.000 --> 00:58:05.000
this first one's gotta be done with the
889
00:58:02.000 --> 00:58:09.000
tarantula baby
890
00:58:05.000 --> 00:58:09.000
hey hey where are you going
891
00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:23.000
peter pitt damn you i want a divorce
892
00:58:14.000 --> 00:58:23.000
we ain't even married
893
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:37.000
uh
894
00:58:56.000 --> 00:58:59.000
well i reckon we're going to try to win
895
00:58:57.000 --> 00:58:59.000
this tournament i hate it when my
896
00:58:59.000 --> 00:59:02.000
viewers tune
897
00:58:59.000 --> 00:59:03.000
in to see me lose how many viewers do
898
00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:04.000
you think watch your show each week
899
00:59:03.000 --> 00:59:07.000
leroy
900
00:59:04.000 --> 00:59:08.000
well the last i heard it was about a
901
00:59:07.000 --> 00:59:11.000
half a million
902
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:12.000
that's a lot of viewers i hope we like
903
00:59:11.000 --> 00:59:14.000
to keep them entertained
904
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:19.000
if people didn't sin we like to give
905
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:19.000
them something to watch
906
00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:33.000
see not poison
907
00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:50.000
take a sip
908
00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:50.000
see no poison
909
00:59:51.000 --> 01:00:01.000
you just wait right here i've got a
910
00:59:53.000 --> 01:00:01.000
surprise for you
911
01:00:02.000 --> 01:00:12.000
[Music]
912
01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:15.000
so
913
01:00:19.000 --> 01:00:25.000
[Music]
914
01:00:38.000 --> 01:00:42.000
well it's the wrong action i use a
915
01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:44.000
medium heavy with a stiff tip
916
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:45.000
that's because it ain't for you it's
917
01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:47.000
mine
918
01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:48.000
i want you to teach me how to fish so i
919
01:00:47.000 --> 01:00:50.000
can fish a tournament with you library
920
01:00:48.000 --> 01:00:53.000
boy this place done filled
921
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:53.000
up with skunks
922
01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:58.000
now i don't ask you to fish me once
923
01:00:56.000 --> 01:01:00.000
and you said you'd have to have your
924
01:00:58.000 --> 01:01:02.000
eyes knowed out by a rat
925
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:04.000
well that was then and this is now i
926
01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:07.000
don't want the rat no more
927
01:01:04.000 --> 01:01:10.000
i want fish make you happy now
928
01:01:07.000 --> 01:01:12.000
i already got me another partner and i
929
01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.000
can't be asking phelps to miss the
930
01:01:12.000 --> 01:01:15.000
tournament oh that's okay baby i got my
931
01:01:14.000 --> 01:01:17.000
own partner
932
01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:18.000
the guy bubba said he'd fish with me so
933
01:01:17.000 --> 01:01:20.000
all you gotta do
934
01:01:18.000 --> 01:01:25.000
is teach me how to fish and we can be in
935
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:25.000
the tournament together
936
01:01:26.000 --> 01:01:35.000
come on hog bass come on baby come on
937
01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:35.000
come on come on leroy
938
01:01:36.000 --> 01:01:39.000
throw near that stump over there
939
01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:48.000
in the water well that's where i was
940
01:01:46.000 --> 01:01:49.000
aiming smart ass now careful now watch
941
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:53.000
lure
942
01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:54.000
oh come on now sparkle weaver
943
01:01:53.000 --> 01:01:56.000
what the hell what the hell are you
944
01:01:54.000 --> 01:02:00.000
doing
945
01:01:56.000 --> 01:02:00.000
oh [ __ ]
946
01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:07.000
oh now i told you to be careful i'm
947
01:02:04.000 --> 01:02:07.000
sorry
948
01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:15.000
what do you think
949
01:02:16.000 --> 01:02:21.000
help me out here
950
01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:28.000
our fishermen are lined up and ready to
951
01:02:26.000 --> 01:02:29.000
go and we're about to begin the 37th
952
01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:31.000
annual southern regional bass world
953
01:02:29.000 --> 01:02:32.000
championships where some of the sport's
954
01:02:31.000 --> 01:02:34.000
top pros will compete alongside a
955
01:02:32.000 --> 01:02:37.000
pre-selected number of
956
01:02:34.000 --> 01:02:39.000
local bass wizards all right donut
957
01:02:37.000 --> 01:02:40.000
we are also very pleased to have today
958
01:02:39.000 --> 01:02:43.000
our very own
959
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:44.000
leroy johnson worldwide television
960
01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:49.000
personality
961
01:02:44.000 --> 01:02:52.000
everybody give leroy a big hand
962
01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:52.000
[Applause]
963
01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:57.000
[Applause]
964
01:02:58.000 --> 01:03:01.000
i'll tell you what snotty if i get skin
965
01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:04.000
cancer
966
01:03:01.000 --> 01:03:04.000
i'm gonna cut you up in little pieces
967
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:08.000
and
968
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:11.000
bury you under my porch
969
01:03:08.000 --> 01:03:14.000
i just know something's gonna go down
970
01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:16.000
you're in your damn conscience boy
971
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:17.000
how'd you get into fishing anyway you
972
01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:19.000
know
973
01:03:17.000 --> 01:03:21.000
most attractive women ain't much on bass
974
01:03:19.000 --> 01:03:24.000
fishing oh well
975
01:03:21.000 --> 01:03:26.000
i reckon i'm just different well so i am
976
01:03:24.000 --> 01:03:28.000
tickled to be fishing with you
977
01:03:26.000 --> 01:03:30.000
if at any point you want to pull way
978
01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:32.000
back up here in one of these codes and
979
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:35.000
get naked
980
01:03:32.000 --> 01:03:35.000
you just let me know
981
01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:43.000
who's she looking at
982
01:03:43.000 --> 01:03:48.000
i know it ain't me yeah
983
01:03:46.000 --> 01:03:51.000
i always have a right smart difficulty
984
01:03:48.000 --> 01:03:53.000
settling on a bait at the start
985
01:03:51.000 --> 01:03:54.000
i guess it goes back to the fall classic
986
01:03:53.000 --> 01:03:58.000
in 93
987
01:03:54.000 --> 01:04:01.000
when i caught one fish on the crank bait
988
01:03:58.000 --> 01:04:03.000
one on the welding leaf spinner one on
989
01:04:01.000 --> 01:04:07.000
the worm and one on the top water
990
01:04:03.000 --> 01:04:07.000
i just ain't got the same confidence
991
01:04:09.000 --> 01:04:13.000
this show was a good idea to come way
992
01:04:11.000 --> 01:04:16.000
back up in this creek like this
993
01:04:13.000 --> 01:04:17.000
okay tell you how much it means to me
994
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:19.000
but ever since i first saw you i've been
995
01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:26.000
sort of
996
01:04:19.000 --> 01:04:29.000
you know fantasizing about it
997
01:04:26.000 --> 01:04:29.000
take off your clothes
998
01:04:29.000 --> 01:04:33.000
oh i'll get it you're one of them pinky
999
01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:37.000
types
1000
01:04:33.000 --> 01:04:42.000
you gonna tie me up and punish me
1001
01:04:37.000 --> 01:04:42.000
i said take off your clothes yes
1002
01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:56.000
ma'am
1003
01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:58.000
oh god don't you dare move until i tell
1004
01:04:56.000 --> 01:04:58.000
you
1005
01:05:07.000 --> 01:05:13.000
get off the boat on the beach butterball
1006
01:05:11.000 --> 01:05:15.000
but i thought we was going to get wiggy
1007
01:05:13.000 --> 01:05:16.000
you get on those rocks
1008
01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:22.000
all right all right you ain't got to get
1009
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:25.000
snotty on the beach now
1010
01:05:22.000 --> 01:05:25.000
get your hands off my boat
1011
01:05:28.000 --> 01:05:35.000
hey where are you going
1012
01:05:32.000 --> 01:05:38.000
come back here you can't leave me out
1013
01:05:35.000 --> 01:05:41.000
here i'm in the underworld
1014
01:05:38.000 --> 01:05:41.000
where the booty
1015
01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:46.000
hey you've never seen deliverance
1016
01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:51.000
woman
1017
01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:56.000
[Music]
1018
01:05:58.000 --> 01:06:02.000
i wonder if they're looking for a
1019
01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:05.000
finesse presentation
1020
01:06:02.000 --> 01:06:07.000
has been cool last couple of days
1021
01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:10.000
i got some clear glitter four-inch
1022
01:06:07.000 --> 01:06:10.000
crawdads i could throw that
1023
01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:19.000
what are you doing hey i'm gonna head on
1024
01:06:18.000 --> 01:06:22.000
down the lake out here
1025
01:06:19.000 --> 01:06:24.000
well i'm heading on down the lake
1026
01:06:22.000 --> 01:06:33.000
look we just got here i haven't had two
1027
01:06:24.000 --> 01:06:33.000
strikes follow
1028
01:06:44.000 --> 01:06:55.000
wow
1029
01:06:46.000 --> 01:06:58.000
[Music]
1030
01:06:55.000 --> 01:07:01.000
[Applause]
1031
01:06:58.000 --> 01:07:04.000
ah
1032
01:07:01.000 --> 01:07:08.000
[Music]
1033
01:07:04.000 --> 01:07:11.000
[Applause]
1034
01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:11.000
[Music]
1035
01:07:12.000 --> 01:07:16.000
oh
1036
01:07:14.000 --> 01:07:28.000
[Music]
1037
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:38.000
come over here
1038
01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:38.000
[Music]
1039
01:07:42.000 --> 01:07:46.000
i've switched to a a spinner bait with a
1040
01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:48.000
rattle in its head
1041
01:07:46.000 --> 01:07:50.000
you got to be real careful when you use
1042
01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:53.000
a lure like this because
1043
01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:56.000
sometimes it'll just turn them right off
1044
01:07:53.000 --> 01:08:00.000
however i think today it may be just the
1045
01:07:56.000 --> 01:08:00.000
trick for old hog mama bass
1046
01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:06.000
leroy hey it's me sparkle weaver over
1047
01:08:04.000 --> 01:08:06.000
here
1048
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:11.000
just wonder if you mind sharing your
1049
01:08:09.000 --> 01:08:13.000
spot
1050
01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:15.000
you have folks sometimes in a tournament
1051
01:08:13.000 --> 01:08:18.000
like this you just
1052
01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:18.000
you got to share your spot
1053
01:08:21.000 --> 01:08:24.000
hi leroy sorry i hope you don't mind
1054
01:08:23.000 --> 01:08:27.000
pause me
1055
01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:27.000
sparkle weaver
1056
01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:40.000
that's weaver with an e and a
1057
01:08:39.000 --> 01:08:48.000
spark weaver
1058
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:48.000
[Music]
1059
01:08:50.000 --> 01:09:07.000
you catch my leroy and i'll kill you
1060
01:09:18.000 --> 01:09:24.000
so
1061
01:09:21.000 --> 01:09:24.000
[Music]
1062
01:09:27.000 --> 01:09:33.000
[Music]
1063
01:09:31.000 --> 01:09:35.000
what's that woman doing with scuba gear
1064
01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:37.000
in the middle of a tournament
1065
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:39.000
would you just give it a rest there
1066
01:09:37.000 --> 01:09:40.000
ain't no such thing as crime and if
1067
01:09:39.000 --> 01:09:42.000
there was
1068
01:09:40.000 --> 01:09:43.000
we ain't gonna be the ones to solve it
1069
01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:47.000
anyway
1070
01:09:43.000 --> 01:09:49.000
oh man now the lip on this particular
1071
01:09:47.000 --> 01:09:52.000
crankbait makes it run
1072
01:09:49.000 --> 01:09:53.000
12 to 14 feet deep that's about three or
1073
01:09:52.000 --> 01:10:03.000
four feet deeper than most crankbaits
1074
01:09:53.000 --> 01:10:03.000
will go in just to cast
1075
01:10:08.000 --> 01:10:11.000
[Music]
1076
01:10:15.000 --> 01:10:18.000
they don't seem to be cooperating too
1077
01:10:16.000 --> 01:10:31.000
much thus far but maybe we can get them
1078
01:10:18.000 --> 01:10:38.000
going here in a minute
1079
01:10:31.000 --> 01:10:38.000
[Music]
1080
01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:52.000
[Music]
1081
01:10:57.000 --> 01:11:07.000
[Music]
1082
01:11:04.000 --> 01:11:13.000
swimming back and forth to leroy's boat
1083
01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:13.000
maybe she thinks she's a fish
1084
01:11:26.000 --> 01:11:40.000
[Music]
1085
01:11:35.000 --> 01:11:55.000
hey sheriff something's going on i have
1086
01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:55.000
a bad feeling something's going on
1087
01:12:01.000 --> 01:12:09.000
crazy woman
1088
01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:16.000
[Music]
1089
01:12:19.000 --> 01:12:22.000
[Music]
1090
01:12:26.000 --> 01:12:29.000
[Music]
1091
01:13:08.000 --> 01:13:12.000
welcome to the long arm of the law oh
1092
01:13:16.000 --> 01:13:19.000
yeah
1093
01:13:28.000 --> 01:13:36.000
holy budweiser what a fish
1094
01:13:33.000 --> 01:13:36.000
[Music]
1095
01:13:41.000 --> 01:13:46.000
at 5.28 pounds winner of our tournament
1096
01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:49.000
and big largemouth of the tournament
1097
01:13:46.000 --> 01:13:49.000
leroy johnson
1098
01:13:50.000 --> 01:13:54.000
i hope you know we're gonna spend the
1099
01:13:51.000 --> 01:13:58.000
rest of our lives in jail
1100
01:13:54.000 --> 01:14:00.000
you just don't understand nothing do you
1101
01:13:58.000 --> 01:14:01.000
my dream is coming true right before
1102
01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:02.000
your eyes
1103
01:14:01.000 --> 01:14:05.000
tutoring all you can think about the
1104
01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:08.000
little jail we're stupid just don't do
1105
01:14:05.000 --> 01:14:11.000
you justice
1106
01:14:08.000 --> 01:14:12.000
well well well listen leroy
1107
01:14:11.000 --> 01:14:14.000
i had nothing to do with this i was
1108
01:14:12.000 --> 01:14:15.000
trying to stop her solely roy you gonna
1109
01:14:14.000 --> 01:14:16.000
come to the trial
1110
01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:17.000
you bring all those little camera people
1111
01:14:16.000 --> 01:14:20.000
over there and we could just make a show
1112
01:14:17.000 --> 01:14:20.000
of it
1113
01:14:20.000 --> 01:14:27.000
you know whoa
1114
01:14:23.000 --> 01:14:29.000
i reckon i owe you all a thank you
1115
01:14:27.000 --> 01:14:31.000
last fish i caught's the biggest fish i
1116
01:14:29.000 --> 01:14:31.000
ever caught in the tournament and that's
1117
01:14:31.000 --> 01:14:35.000
the
1118
01:14:31.000 --> 01:14:35.000
first tournament i've won in ten years
1119
01:14:36.000 --> 01:14:40.000
and uh i reckon that spider y'alls is
1120
01:14:39.000 --> 01:14:44.000
good luck
1121
01:14:40.000 --> 01:14:47.000
of course now i can't be having somebody
1122
01:14:44.000 --> 01:14:47.000
trying to kill me while i'm fishing
1123
01:14:48.000 --> 01:14:51.000
and i'm going to have a word with tutor
1124
01:14:54.000 --> 01:14:57.000
here
1125
01:15:04.000 --> 01:15:11.000
guess it's gonna be on tv it ain't you
1126
01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:16.000
well here we are on lake roosevelt in
1127
01:15:14.000 --> 01:15:17.000
south carolina and another southern bass
1128
01:15:16.000 --> 01:15:19.000
association
1129
01:15:17.000 --> 01:15:20.000
triple crown tournament and we're going
1130
01:15:19.000 --> 01:15:23.000
to try to
1131
01:15:20.000 --> 01:15:25.000
rear a couple of these old wily mouth
1132
01:15:23.000 --> 01:15:25.000
bucket mouse out this here shall we into
1133
01:15:25.000 --> 01:15:29.000
the lake
1134
01:15:25.000 --> 01:15:30.000
now you'll notice that today i got a
1135
01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:32.000
brand new face in the boat with me tudor
1136
01:15:30.000 --> 01:15:34.000
pitts is going to be monitoring my ph
1137
01:15:32.000 --> 01:15:36.000
meter and he's going to be
1138
01:15:34.000 --> 01:15:39.000
taking care of my good luck tarantula
1139
01:15:36.000 --> 01:15:41.000
for me because he looks poster
1140
01:15:39.000 --> 01:15:43.000
we're going to see if we can't scrape a
1141
01:15:41.000 --> 01:15:52.000
couple of these big old moss back
1142
01:15:43.000 --> 01:15:54.000
come on baby jump on papa's hook
1143
01:15:52.000 --> 01:15:57.000
oh tudor that's my magic worm too we
1144
01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:57.000
gotta be doing better than this
1145
01:15:57.000 --> 01:16:02.000
there we go now we're gonna get one of
1146
01:15:59.000 --> 01:16:04.000
those big old jobbers
1147
01:16:02.000 --> 01:16:07.000
did you see that one jump folks there's
1148
01:16:04.000 --> 01:16:09.000
some bigots out here
1149
01:16:07.000 --> 01:16:12.000
i think maybe they're hiding under logs
1150
01:16:09.000 --> 01:16:12.000
i'm just not sure yet
1151
01:16:13.000 --> 01:16:22.000
what do you think
1152
01:16:20.000 --> 01:16:25.000
why don't you put that spot in the water
1153
01:16:22.000 --> 01:16:25.000
for a couple of seconds
1154
01:16:39.000 --> 01:16:43.000
i'm sure you got him in the water
1155
01:16:46.000 --> 01:16:49.000
tutorial
1156
01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:58.000
[Applause]
1157
01:17:14.000 --> 01:17:20.000
oh
1158
01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:20.000
[Music]
1159
01:17:22.000 --> 01:17:33.000
[Music]
1160
01:17:38.000 --> 01:17:45.000
[Music]
1161
01:17:42.000 --> 01:17:48.000
you don't hide well don't hide
1162
01:17:45.000 --> 01:17:48.000
i got my worms out it's just a bird's
1163
01:17:48.000 --> 01:17:52.000
eye
1164
01:17:48.000 --> 01:17:53.000
sweet in other words now put it in your
1165
01:17:52.000 --> 01:17:55.000
mouth
1166
01:17:53.000 --> 01:17:58.000
[Music]
1167
01:17:55.000 --> 01:17:58.000
how nice
1168
01:18:10.000 --> 01:18:14.000
that's enough from youngs put your hands
1169
01:18:13.000 --> 01:18:17.000
up
1170
01:18:14.000 --> 01:18:20.000
put your hands down enough
1171
01:18:17.000 --> 01:18:27.000
to put the money in the truck yeah
1172
01:18:20.000 --> 01:18:27.000
i got my double wife by phone
1173
01:18:38.000 --> 01:18:41.000
yeah baby
77860
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