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1
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,200
James was good-looking
on his profile picture.
2
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,240
He looked nice, he looked fit.
3
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,680
It was just constant flattery.
4
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,920
Everyone wants to hear that,
that you're beautiful.
5
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,320
Something just didn't sit right
with me.
6
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,520
He didn't give off boyfriend vibes.
7
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,120
I just instantly didn't like him.
8
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,720
This man is a walking red flag.
9
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,120
The drinking was getting more
and more. He would get a bit nasty.
10
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,480
It broke me, it really did.
11
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,080
So there's glass now everywhere,
12
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,280
blood from my head,
blood from my mouth.
13
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,280
I just thought, "This is the last
thing I'm gonna see before I die.
14
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,680
"He's gonna kill me."
15
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,600
I was a mobile hairdresser,
16
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,440
so I was busy, I was always out
and about on the road,
17
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,920
got a big circle of friends.
18
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,640
I'd got a good life.
19
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,560
Erm... A bit lonely, maybe,
on the weekdays
20
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,280
when your child's in bed
21
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,080
and you're sitting downstairs
on your own,
22
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,600
but it didn't overly bother me.
23
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,120
Me and my mum are like that.
She's my best friend.
24
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,040
It's always been just me and her.
25
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,120
As a person, she's very open
and bubbly
26
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,120
and she'll have a chat with anyone.
27
00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:01,440
Like, she's a really easy-going,
talkative person.
28
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,560
You can always have a good chat
with her.
29
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,880
I do socialise with my family a lot.
30
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,600
We're the youngest two from
a big family. We're really close.
31
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,760
We work together,
we socialise together,
32
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,000
do a lot of family things together.
33
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,960
She was always like my protector -
34
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,480
very outgoing,
very popular, strong.
35
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,360
She'd be the one helping.
36
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,400
If there was a problem,
it would be Paula you'd go to.
37
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,360
If there's a crisis,
Paula will sort it.
38
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,680
That was always the way it was.
39
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,000
Although I appear to be confident
to my friends...
40
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,880
..maybe not so much underneath.
41
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,680
I matched with a few
different people,
42
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,120
had a couple of little chats,
43
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,520
but never really took much of it
very seriously -
44
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,240
messing around, really,
just looking what's out there.
45
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,760
I can't remember
who messaged who first,
46
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,600
but James was good-looking
on his profile picture.
47
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,160
He looked nice, he looked fit.
48
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,040
So, it was just purely looks.
49
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,680
We swapped numbers, eventually
we were WhatsApping -
50
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:33,200
chit-chat, really. Nothing...
No real plans to meet up.
51
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,640
He was a labourer,
in between jobs at that time.
52
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,960
He'd been working on a building site.
53
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:45,840
When we talked about people
that we knew in common,
54
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,840
that made me feel safe that
he wasn't going to be...
55
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,520
..a lunatic,
56
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,920
or he wouldn't have
that many skeletons in his closet
57
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,200
cos they'd come out.
58
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,760
I did ask a couple of people
if they knew him,
59
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,280
and they were like, "Yeah, yeah,
I know him. He's a good guy."
60
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,440
So, I thought I'd done my homework,
61
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,960
enough to believe what he was saying
to me.
62
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:27,280
I think I messaged him one day
when I was at a loose end.
63
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,840
I said I'd pick him up in my car.
64
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,120
He was staying with a friend
who was a girl.
65
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,960
But he said that was just
his best friend,
66
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,720
they'd known each other forever.
67
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,240
And he was staying with her
just temporarily.
68
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,280
So, this is where we sat on
the first date
69
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,600
for most of the day and night.
70
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,920
It's quite nice out here at night -
71
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,200
it gets warm and there's music.
72
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,040
Sun was out, it was a nice day.
73
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,480
I felt like it was going well
straight away.
74
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:04,080
He was full of compliments
from the minute we sat down -
75
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,360
"You're beautiful.
76
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,640
"You're prettier
than I thought you'd be.
77
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,280
"I didn't think I'd meet anybody,
78
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,080
"but I've got a good feeling
about you."
79
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:15,080
It was just constant flattery,
and it was nice to hear it.
80
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,800
Everyone wants to hear that,
that you're beautiful...
81
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,720
..especially when you don't feel it
so much.
82
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:31,600
He has kind of opened
the door of warmth
83
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,840
and compliments and, of course,
84
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,040
as any human being would do,
who's being flattered,
85
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,120
you'd walk through and go,
"I like it!"
86
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,320
My confidence was probably
at an all-time low, really,
87
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:47,360
and hearing all these compliments
was just what I needed
88
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,080
for a bit of an ego boost.
89
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:54,040
I didn't think...I was vulnerable
in any way.
90
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,600
And that was the start
of something terrible.
91
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,280
PHONE RINGS
92
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,480
Straight away, he was calling me
and texting all the time.
93
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,280
He straight away
wanted to see me again,
94
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,160
which I saw as a good sign.
95
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,720
I was quite happy about that.
96
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,000
I wanted to see him, too.
97
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,680
He was saying things like,
98
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,120
"When we go here"
or "When we have a holiday,"
99
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,880
just things that
he was planning ahead
100
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,120
from the first date.
101
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,680
I was just sort of on a bit of
a roller-coaster of excitement.
102
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,880
He automatically wanted
to start staying at mine,
103
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,720
and I was a bit uncomfortable
with that,
104
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,760
but let him bombard me, really.
105
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,040
I didn't want to say no,
so I let him.
106
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:56,160
Someone that pushy
so early in a relationship
107
00:06:56,200 --> 00:07:00,800
and almost ready to really push
boundaries and push her boundaries,
108
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,480
when they barely know each other?
109
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,520
To me, that is a huge red flag.
110
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,720
I met James within the first week
of Paula meeting him.
111
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,240
Obviously, I was eager to meet him.
112
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,600
It was her new partner and I wanted
to see what he looked like.
113
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,880
When I met him at her house,
114
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,280
I just had an uncomfortable feeling
about him straight away -
115
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,080
like, as if his feet were
under the table too soon.
116
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,480
He was just being too comfortable
there straight away.
117
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,040
CARRIE:He was there a lot.
This was like within the first week.
118
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,360
I was like, "That's strange.
Why is he there again?"
119
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,280
And he seemed to always be there.
120
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,400
ANJULA:She's like, "OK, well, he
seemed all right at the beginning,
121
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,000
"let's see how it goes."
122
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,440
But he wants to just
get himself embedded.
123
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,400
AMELIA:Something just didn't
sit right with me.
124
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,480
They didn't look right together.
He didn't...
125
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,840
He didn't give off, like,
boyfriend vibes,
126
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,440
you know what I mean?
Like, he was just very...
127
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,360
A bit weird. Just weird.
128
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,640
I had a bad gut feeling
from the get-go.
129
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,600
CARRIE:We were going round
for a barbecue,
130
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,640
and cos Paula was attentive
to Amelia,
131
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,760
I could hear him say,
"Just tell her to go upstairs,
132
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,480
just tell her to go upstairs."
133
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,600
This was like week one.
134
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,520
I just instantly didn't like him.
135
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,800
He tried to drive a wedge
between everybody.
136
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,040
It started with Amelia.
It started with her own daughter.
137
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,080
I would try my hardest
not to be around him.
138
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,600
And if I knew he'd be staying
at the house,
139
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,480
I'd go to my aunt's,
or my nan's or a friend's.
140
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,960
I kind of distanced myself
as much as I could.
141
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,240
REBECCA:Very early on,
he is making her
142
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,480
choose between her own daughter
and him.
143
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,320
Who does that?
144
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,960
Who makes you choose between
your own flesh and blood
145
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,360
and your current partner?
146
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,560
That is not normal behaviour
from someone.
147
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,960
That shows signs of someone
extremely controlling,
148
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,600
doing that very early on,
making her choose him.
149
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,160
I used to say to her, "You'll still
always be my number one."
150
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,280
But she didn't like the thought of me
having a boyfriend at all.
151
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:30,400
ANJULA:All her family, including her
ten-year-old daughter at the time,
152
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,680
Amelia, did not like this person.
153
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:39,160
There were warning signs that other
people around her were saying,
154
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,560
"Hang on, just wait a minute."
155
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,840
It did bother me that my family
didn't like him,
156
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,120
but I thought
they'd come around eventually,
157
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,560
once they saw I was happy.
158
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,320
REBECCA:Your family, your friends
will see something that you don't.
159
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,720
So if your family and friends
take a dislike
160
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,160
to the person you're dating,
for me, another red flag.
161
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,240
I just hate saying his name as well.
162
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,600
I hate saying his name,
but I know I've got to say it.
163
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,840
He'd planted seeds in my head
that he was staying
164
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,880
with this female friend of his.
165
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:53,600
And why would I want him to go back
to stay with another woman?
166
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,320
"Do you not think it's best
if I just stay here with you?"
167
00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:00,000
And I agreed. I was probably a little
bit jealous of their friendship.
168
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,280
So then I thought, "Maybe it's best
if he does stay here."
169
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:12,360
The speed in which we have gone from
the first meet
170
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,960
to moving in, that is a red flag.
171
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,160
He wants this relationship
to move quickly,
172
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:23,240
and they have only known each other
a matter of weeks.
173
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,200
At the time, I was sort of in a bit
of a love bubble.
174
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,520
It was the bubble of excitement
and new relationship,
175
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:34,520
and he was talking as if me and him
were a married couple almost,
176
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,960
straight away.
177
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,600
You know, I just thought
it was because he was really into me.
178
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,920
And I really thought
Amelia would come around
179
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,640
once she realised he was nice.
180
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,320
I would say that the situation
Paula is in right now
181
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,600
is that she is withdrawing.
182
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,920
We are seeing her withdraw from
her family and friends.
183
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:58,920
And then things began to change
quite quickly, really.
184
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,600
PHONE RINGS
185
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,960
He would constantly phone,
constantly bombard me with texts -
186
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,360
"Where are you? How long
you going to be? I want to see you.
187
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,280
"Come back, I need to see you."
188
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,480
And it was relentless.
189
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,120
"Who are you with?
Who are you really with?"
190
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,120
If I had a male client, "Well, who's
he? How long have you known him?
191
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,840
"Has he got a girlfriend?"
192
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,640
If ever I was out with my sisters
or even if I was with Amelia,
193
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,040
his name would constantly be
popping up on my phone -
194
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,040
not that I ever managed
to get away from him for long,
195
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,400
cos he would be demanding
to see me again.
196
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,640
This is a huge red flag.
197
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,280
There's an element of
coercive control
198
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,560
that's very quickly crept into
his behaviour.
199
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:50,400
He wants to assert his dominance
over her.
200
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,720
He doesn't want her seeing friends.
201
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,080
He doesn't want her working.
202
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,160
He wants to know exactly where
she is.
203
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,040
It is that power trip,
it is that authority.
204
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,720
She belongs to him now.
205
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:11,040
By now, he was... He'd got
the passcode to my phone,
206
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,520
so he would pick up my phone
and look in my phone
207
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,240
pretty much any time he wanted to.
208
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,320
ANJULA:He might be worried that
somebody is saying to her,
209
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,520
"This guy is horrible to you."
210
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,920
He doesn't want
any outside influence,
211
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,320
so he jealously guards
any communication she has
212
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,640
with other people.
213
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,360
That strangulation
over the communication
214
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,080
leaves her completely isolated.
215
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,360
It made me feel a bit anxious,
but also,
216
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,840
I was making excuses for it
in my head.
217
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,440
It was nice being loved, and I liked
the feeling of being loved.
218
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:49,000
I was making myself believe,
"He just misses me.
219
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,080
"He just wants to be with me
all the time."
220
00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:01,440
I wasn't overly concerned about that
because I thought we were a couple,
221
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,640
so my money was his money anyway.
222
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,480
He was just slowly, slowly taking
any bit of independence
223
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,200
that she had for herself
away from her.
224
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,760
He kind of sort of stripped her down
to nothing. So she had nothing.
225
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,720
REBECCA:We've seen him
move into her house,
226
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:25,160
take control of her family,
her life, and now her money?
227
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,840
When is this going to stop?
228
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,040
CARRIE:He wouldn't allow us
to be around her.
229
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,920
If I was there, you could see...
230
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,600
..the resentment,
and he'd take her away.
231
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,200
LAURA:She wasn't the same person.
232
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,480
She was distant.
233
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,240
It's like nothing mattered.
234
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,280
She didn't care.
235
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,760
She didn't even look the same,
like, physically.
236
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:10,560
My best friend, Laura,
he couldn't stand her.
237
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,640
We're really close, and she made
her presence known on purpose.
238
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,080
She wouldn't go away and he kept
saying to me, "She uses you.
239
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,240
"You need to get rid of her. You
shouldn't see her, she's using you."
240
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,120
But she couldn't isolate herself
from me
241
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,280
because I wouldn't let her.
242
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,760
I was killing them with kindness,
243
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,440
pretending that I was OK with
the relationship.
244
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,040
He wasn't going to push me out
of the picture.
245
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,680
REBECCA:There is
that famous saying of
246
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,400
"Keep your friends close
"and your enemies closer,"
247
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,920
but what we know is
he is not one, probably,
248
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,680
to listen to a woman, full stop.
249
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,560
And, really, she was fighting
a losing battle with it.
250
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,760
It soon became a bit more sinister.
251
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,800
The drinking was getting more
and more.
252
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,960
I was noticing he would get
a bit nasty.
253
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,960
And then the sexual pressure
would be more if he was drunk,
254
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,120
and a bit more brutal.
It was getting rough -
255
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,480
"Don't you fancy me?
Don't you like me any more?"
256
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:19,160
I was put under pressure. I felt like
I had to give in all the time.
257
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,200
On the other side
of all this horribleness,
258
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,080
there were still the compliments -
259
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,120
"You're beautiful.
I can't live without you.
260
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,400
"You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me."
261
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,720
He said he loved me,
and I didn't want to lose him.
262
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,840
She did things
she did not want to do.
263
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,160
And that is not how you treat
someone you love.
264
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,360
That is not how you treat someone
you are in a relationship with.
265
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,560
He used to tell me things
from his childhood
266
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,800
which excused his behaviour.
267
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,400
And I just thought if I loved him,
268
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:57,040
I could show him how to live
a proper, normal life
269
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,600
and he'd be fine. I thought...
I thought I could help him.
270
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:07,960
She's given him all her power
in order to keep
271
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:12,360
the relationship, in her mind,
in some kind of status quo.
272
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:16,120
But, actually, he continues to abuse
her and be domineering over her.
273
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,360
It was always a drink-fuelled
argument with us.
274
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,400
We went to a local pub of ours.
275
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,200
I could see he was
getting aggressive again,
276
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,200
so I just said, "I'm going,
I'm not doing this,"
277
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,400
and I got up and left.
278
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,080
I went home, went into my house,
279
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,760
shut the door, locked the door.
280
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,600
He showed up about
maybe an hour later,
281
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,840
absolutely drunk out of his mind.
282
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,000
And he was banging the door
to get in,
283
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,760
and I was saying, "Just go away."
284
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,840
LOUD BANGING ON DOOR
And he was banging, banging the door.
285
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,240
All of a sudden, he just comes
crashing through the glass.
286
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,600
GLASS SHATTERS
287
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,480
He'd literally burst into
my living room.
288
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,840
Who does that?
289
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:17,640
That shows a level of violence that
is sort of uncomprehendible, really.
290
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,280
ANJULA:What you've got here
is a guy who is completely
291
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:24,760
in the mindset of,
"How dare you do this to me?
292
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:29,240
"I'm the wronged party."
He sees himself as the victim,
293
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,120
therefore he has the right
294
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,480
to behave in this completely
outrageous way with her.
295
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,960
I was terrified, screaming,
"What are you doing? Get out!"
296
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,320
And he sort of grabbed me
by the throat,
297
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,200
and he was holding me up the wall
by the throat,
298
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,640
and I had to bite his hand
to get him off me.
299
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,800
It was... It was horrible.
300
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,000
SIRENS IN DISTANCE
301
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,320
I managed to call the police,
but he ran off.
302
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,520
I made a statement about
what he'd done,
303
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:05,280
and they were looking to arrest him
after that. He disappeared.
304
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,320
I think she's absolutely right
at this point
305
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,800
to be totally frightened
306
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,000
because you don't know
what he's capable of.
307
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,160
Where is he going to go next
with this behaviour?
308
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,040
He was begging me,
309
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,840
"Please don't do this.
I'll go to prison.
310
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,520
"If I go to prison,
I'm going to kill myself."
311
00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:01,400
ANJULA:What he's done is
made her responsible for his life.
312
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,320
And that's the bit that
she's responding to
313
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,000
because she's a lovely human being.
314
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,680
And he knows that
she's going to respond to that,
315
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,080
which is exactly why he's using it.
316
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,320
I knew we had to end
the relationship, deep down.
317
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:18,680
But I still had that pull from him.
318
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,560
He'd always promise he'd change.
He'd say he'd go to anger management.
319
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,040
"Please, I can't live without you.
320
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,200
"Without you, I'm nothing.
321
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,600
"I'll kill myself
if I haven't got you."
322
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,840
It was so hard listening to him.
323
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,640
It was a lot of pressure
to have from somebody
324
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,480
that you thought you loved.
325
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,120
Was it easier not to go through
with it?
326
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,760
Probably was.
327
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:54,360
What he has done to her is made it
impossible for her to leave.
328
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,080
By this time, I was going nowhere
without him.
329
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:03,400
He'd even follow me to work.
330
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,320
I was really depressed,
I was really low.
331
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,000
My family didn't know who I was.
332
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,640
I want Amelia to be OK
and be back home,
333
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,440
but she wouldn't stay at the house
when James was there.
334
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,320
That was breaking my heart.
335
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,280
I hated it.
336
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:25,760
I didn't want to be around him,
337
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,240
so I would always be at
either my aunt's
338
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,680
or my nan and grandad's
or I started seeing my dad
339
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,560
quite a lot around that time.
340
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,080
The more she wasn't around,
341
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:39,120
the more I was drinking
to cover up what was going on.
342
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,160
And, actually, I didn't really
want her there while he was there
343
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,360
because the violence
was getting worse.
344
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,520
She became a lot more isolated
and closed off,
345
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,840
she wouldn't go out much. Erm...
346
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,000
I didn't hear off her much.
347
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:01,000
And she just seemed
very, like, stand-offish.
348
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,960
She looked destroyed.
And she looked like that a lot.
349
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:09,680
Every day was a nightmare,
every day.
350
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,560
I thought, "I'm going to use
this opportunity
351
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,640
"to phone somebody and try
and get some help."
352
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,680
I called 101,
353
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,520
and then the police came to
the hospital
354
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,480
while I was there with my friend.
355
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,960
And they did what they call a DASH.
356
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,840
It is the checklist that we do
so we can manage risk.
357
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,640
We can look at the answers given
and really give a true indication,
358
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,960
when all the "red flags"
are put together,
359
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,600
how dangerous is the perpetrator?
360
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,520
The police were concerned.
361
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,760
They were saying, "You've got
to get away from this man.
362
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,240
"You know that, don't you?"
And I knew I did,
363
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,520
And I was saying,
"Yeah, I meant to, I wanted to."
364
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,720
And I was strong
until I spoke to him.
365
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,280
PHONE RINGS
The minute I spoke to him again,
366
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,840
he'd break me.
367
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,320
He used to send me photographs
of packs of tablets.
368
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:29,160
I felt guilty that I was forcing him
to do that.
369
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,200
I thought it was
all the outside factors
370
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,640
that were making him the way he was,
not him.
371
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,120
So I used to back down.
372
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,480
I got an appointment at
the job centre -
373
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,280
it was in July,
so it was nice and sunny.
374
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,280
PHONE RINGS
I got a call on my mobile phone
375
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,640
from a withheld number...
376
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
..and it was the police.
377
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:05,040
They said to me that they had took
the unusual step of
378
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,920
applying for a Clare's Law for me.
379
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,920
Clare's Law was set up
by the father of Clare Woods,
380
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,440
who was a girl murdered
by her boyfriend
381
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:23,000
who had previous
for domestic violence.
382
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:28,120
This law came about to protect
people against repeat offenders
383
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:29,800
and give people the right to know
384
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,160
who they were spending
their life with.
385
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,520
You can do it on behalf
of yourself.
386
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,200
Or if you're concerned about friend
and family,
387
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,600
you can do it on behalf of them.
388
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,560
When the police do it
on your behalf,
389
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,000
it's called a Right To Know,
cos you have a right to know.
390
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,880
The police gave me the report
and there was a lot on there,
391
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,440
a lot of previous offences.
392
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,840
I was in shock at first,
and then I felt sick.
393
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,000
You can shake your phone
or hold a button,
394
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,400
and everyone you want alerted to
the fact you are in danger
395
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,040
gets alerted.
396
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,840
It is a brilliant app
and it can save lives.
397
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,840
I should have been more alarmed that
they were so worried about my safety
398
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,880
that they thought I needed an app.
399
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,280
Even though I'd seen
a level of violence,
400
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,600
I didn't think he'd really try
and hurt me that badly.
401
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:50,440
Because he'd got this 28-day banning
order, he couldn't come to my house.
402
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,600
While he was away,
Amelia was happier,
403
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,240
so I knew it had to be
a permanent thing.
404
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,800
All of his tactics were starting
to not work on me
405
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,680
because he wasn't with me every day.
406
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,120
So, then, he said,
"I'm going to move to Scotland.
407
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,000
"If I can't be with you,
I'm going to move to Scotland."
408
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,080
And I was encouraging it. I was like,
"Well, that's a good idea."
409
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:14,800
You know, "Amelia's back with me and,
410
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,040
"you know, you can't be here,
basically."
411
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,360
So, he said he'd got some things
at my house he needed
412
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,080
to go and start this job -
413
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,240
"Will you meet me?
I just want to say goodbye.
414
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,960
"I want to say I'm sorry
and I just want my stuff."
415
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,160
Sounds very simple, doesn't it?
416
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,080
When, in reflection,
what he's trying to do is meet her.
417
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,040
He has lost control of her.
418
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,400
He has lost control
of the situation.
419
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,680
And now this is where it's
going to start getting dangerous.
420
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,240
This man is a walking red flag.
421
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,120
I was due to go to a party -
422
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,960
all of my family were
going to be there -
423
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,320
so I arranged to meet him
at the train station.
424
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,520
He was getting a train
from where he was staying.
425
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,320
I wanted him to see me OK,
426
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:11,680
cos I'd been such a mess
during the relationship.
427
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,840
I wanted him to see me
looking nice again and strong
428
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,760
and back to my old self.
429
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,280
He took one look at me, and he was
like, "You're going on a date."
430
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,080
I said, "I'm not.
I'm going to a party."
431
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,440
He was like, "I don't believe you.
You're going on a date.
432
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,360
"You're not leaving me yet.
Let's just go for a quick drink.
433
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,040
"I just want to talk.
We can't leave it like this."
434
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,640
What he's witnessing is that
she's all right without him.
435
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:44,440
He cannot stand her looking OK,
happy and independent of him.
436
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,880
And what he wants to do
is get her back under his control.
437
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,200
I should have walked away
there and then.
438
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,680
But he'd still got a way
of getting into my head.
439
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,320
An hour went - nothing, nothing.
440
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:06,000
PHONE RINGS
441
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,520
Not answering the phone,
not answering the texts.
442
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,800
And I thought,
"Something's not right."
443
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,400
In the pub, he straight away said,
"You're not leaving me tonight.
444
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,000
"I'm staying with you."
I said, "I'm going."
445
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,240
I went to walk back to
the train station.
446
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,000
He was shouting abuse behind me,
447
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,440
which I was just ignoring
and walking away.
448
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,320
But every time I looked back behind,
I could see him.
449
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,560
ANJULA:Paula is in very grave danger
when he follows her.
450
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,000
He is riven with jealousy, raging.
451
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,800
He feels vengeful, and he's like,
452
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,480
"How dare you do this to me?
453
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,360
"How dare you be separated from me?
454
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,800
"You're mine."
455
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,120
I jumped on the train,
456
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,720
and I couldn't see him for a while
and I thought that was it.
457
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,200
And then all of a sudden,
458
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,760
I remember him just coming from
one direction,
459
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,840
shouting and screaming at me.
460
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:15,480
Without her knowing, she is in
an extremely dangerous situation.
461
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,040
Paula is in trouble now.
462
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,040
When I got off the train
in Selly Oak,
463
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,320
I had to walk a little way
to my house.
464
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,040
He snatched my handbag off me.
465
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:54,520
Everything was in my bag -
my phone, my purse, my keys -
466
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:58,320
and he took my handbag.
And he was like, "We'll go to yours."
467
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,080
The red flags - she is out of
red flags.
468
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,720
He let us into the house
cos he'd got my bag.
469
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,080
I was trying to...
470
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,200
..I don't know, reason with him.
471
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,040
I was trying to scare him as well,
472
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,480
thinking that my family
would turn up,
473
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,440
and I thought that would make him
run off, but it didn't.
474
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,240
DOORBELL RINGS
I tried every tactic.
475
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:33,800
I tried pleading with her,
screaming at her.
476
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,400
Tried to understand her,
but nothing...
477
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,240
Nothing I said was getting through.
478
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,400
ANJULA:She knows that
her family are right.
479
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,040
But I think, emotionally,
there is a great deal of fear
480
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,640
which is charging her behaviour.
481
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,200
And it might not make sense
to anyone but her
482
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:55,440
in that moment in time
that "This person could do me
483
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,200
"a great deal of harm
if you intervene,
484
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,520
"if anyone else comes into
this picture,
485
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,280
"and I'm scared for my life."
486
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,360
I also wonder whether she's somebody
who believes that,
487
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,560
you know, "I can talk them down,
488
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,120
"so let me just manage this
on my own."
489
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:23,040
So, he'd gone, we went home.
490
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,200
But then we didn't know,
in the meantime, he'd come back.
491
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,880
James locked all the house up,
and barricaded the door.
492
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,760
And that was the start of...a pretty
horrible night.
493
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:43,920
He was drunk, he was angry,
he was a bit frantic.
494
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,520
Then the threats would start.
495
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,160
He'd push me around.
496
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,600
That went on for a few hours,
this nonstop arguing.
497
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,640
I think this whole display
is somebody who feels that
498
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,200
they're about to lose something
that's theirs.
499
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:10,760
This kind of almost domestic stalker
has turned into this violent abuser
500
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,440
because he thinks he is the victim.
501
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:16,920
He's not.
502
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,040
He smashed the phone into my mouth
503
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,680
and all the glass broke in my mouth,
off my phone.
504
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,200
I was bleeding by this point.
505
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,120
Now I'm shouting and screaming,
hysterical again,
506
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,880
and I'm trying to get away from him.
507
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,000
He pulled me back by my hair,
slammed me up the wall.
508
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,240
I remember being on the floor
in the corner of my bedroom,
509
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,200
and he was stamping
on my back, saying,
510
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,960
"You're cheating on me,
you're cheating on me!"
511
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,840
There was a glass
at the side of my bed,
512
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,760
and he brought this glass down,
and, luckily, I turned my head
513
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,000
and it sort of smashed
on the side of my head.
514
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,200
Otherwise it would have been
straight in my face.
515
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,440
So there's glass now everywhere,
516
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:14,480
blood from my head, blood from
my mouth, and I'm screaming.
517
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,320
Can I have a minute?
518
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,360
SHE SIGHS
519
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,200
And he... Yeah...
And he raped me.
520
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:39,920
I was looking up at my ceiling
521
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,440
and there was, like, a crack
in the plaster.
522
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:46,200
And I remember lying there, thinking,
"He's gonna kill me.
523
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,640
"This is the last thing I'm gonna see
before I die."
524
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,360
And then he put this pillow
over my face,
525
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,080
I just thought, "Stop moving."
526
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,760
I thought, "I'll scare him
into thinking I'm dead."
527
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,800
So I just kept still.
528
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,560
He ripped this pillow off me,
529
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,360
and I was like,
"Look, I'll give you the passcode."
530
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,480
So, he gave me my phone back
and I shook the phone,
531
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:13,440
which alerted my emergency contacts
in the Hollie Guard app.
532
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,560
For her to think about that
just speaks volumes.
533
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,360
The fact that she could be
going through
534
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,560
a torturous situation -
both physically and mentally -
535
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,800
and still think to do that?
She is a real fighter.
536
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,160
She's brilliant.
537
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,520
As we got onto my driveway,
538
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,520
one of my neighbours was over
the road, working on his car,
539
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,240
and I just ran to him and said,
"Phone the police.
540
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:49,720
"I've been attacked."
541
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,280
So James ran off, then.
542
00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:00,560
LAURA:When I got to Paula's house,
she looked terrible
543
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,760
and started crying in my arms
straight away.
544
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,480
And I just knew that
I had to speak to her on her own
545
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:10,240
to find out what was going on.
546
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,640
When I walked to the bedroom,
I was like,
547
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,480
"Oh, my God, what's happened here?"
548
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,480
Her bedroom was smashed up,
there was glass everywhere.
549
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,000
There was blood on the wall.
550
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,040
And then that's when she told me
that he'd raped her.
551
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,840
I just remember asking her,
552
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,160
"Have you had a shower?
Where are your clothes?"
553
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,080
I was worrying about the evidence,
554
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,000
knowing that something serious
had happened in there.
555
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,400
It was disbelief to start with.
556
00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:50,440
I was just concerned
about how I was going to
557
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,600
ever put it right for her,
for Paula.
558
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,480
I didn't think she'd ever come back
from it, to be honest.
559
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,760
LAURA:Just seeing how horrific
her injuries were then...
560
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,440
..it was heart-breaking.
561
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,680
I remember looking up at her,
562
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,840
and her tears were falling
on my face,
563
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:24,600
and we were both crying.
564
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,480
I just remember thinking,
"How have we got here?"
565
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,160
I kept Paula safe with me
in a hotel,
566
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:36,840
just for that night, so we could
just go to sleep and have a rest.
567
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,640
I watched Paula sleep all night.
568
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,480
I just couldn't shut off
what I'd saw.
569
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,360
AMELIA:I hated seeing my mum,
how upset she was.
570
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,320
She was just broken.
571
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,040
She's always been
a very strong person,
572
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,280
so I've never seen her, like,
break down like that.
573
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,200
It broke me. It really did.
574
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,760
I just wasn't confident
they were going to catch him.
575
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:20,520
I was glad that he was that stupid
to come back to Birmingham.
576
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,160
I phoned the police straight away.
I said, "James is in Birmingham."
577
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,360
And then not long after that,
578
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,400
I got a phone call
from a withheld number.
579
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,080
I answered it thinking
it was the police.
580
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,240
It was James.
581
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,320
And I could hear
the background noise,
582
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,520
the sounds of the machines and stuff.
583
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,040
I could tell it was the Wetherspoons.
584
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,440
I hung up on him,
I called the police straight back,
585
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,040
and they'd got him.
POLICE SIRENS BLARE
586
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,200
It feels a bit weird being back here.
587
00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:04,800
When I look up at the windows,
up at the top there,
588
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,360
where the witness room was,
589
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:12,560
it does take me back to sitting,
the anticipation and the fear of
590
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,640
giving evidence
in a Crown Court trial.
591
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,880
I think he believed that
I wouldn't turn up
592
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,440
to give evidence.
593
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,560
But I'd had time away from him,
594
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,160
so I'd got myself back
a little bit more.
595
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,280
I'd got my family and friends
around me.
596
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,280
I'd got a bit more strength back,
597
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,200
and I wasn't going to let him
beat me.
598
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,400
The thought of seeing him
scared the life out of me.
599
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,480
I didn't want to look at his face.
600
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,520
The last time I'd seen his face
601
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,680
was when he'd done
what he'd done to me.
602
00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:58,840
And it wasn't nice knowing he was
on the other side of that screen
603
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,040
as well, but just not being able
to see him
604
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,920
helped me get through
what I had to do.
605
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,560
The court experience wasn't as bad
as what I thought
606
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,920
it was going to be. I think
I'd built it up a lot in my head.
607
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,760
And how I was treated
in the courtroom was...
608
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,040
..better than I expected it to be.
609
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:25,920
I looked over at the dock
610
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,680
and he was shaking his head
in disbelief.
611
00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:31,400
And I just looked once more
at his face and walked away
612
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,320
and left with my family.
613
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,600
As we walked down the steps of the
court, "I thought, we've done it."
614
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,840
You know, "We've got rid of him,
he's gone."
615
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,680
You know, "We've actually got him."
616
00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:46,680
I definitely think getting him
convicted helped me
617
00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:49,120
put my life back together.
618
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,240
So, yeah, it was great.
619
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,920
That was a good day for us all,
a really good day.
620
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,200
REBECCA:A female victim
of any crime,
621
00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:01,480
whether it be sexual assault,
domestic violence,
622
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,040
it's so important that they speak
to the police.
623
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,720
Even if you don't
feel confident enough
624
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,680
to fully go through
a court proceeding,
625
00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:14,440
even reporting it to police
gives that Clare's Law the ammo.
626
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,160
So if you do leave
that relationship
627
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,320
and the perpetrator starts up
a new one
628
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:22,000
and that person applies
for Clare's Law,
629
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,560
at least they'll know that
they have a history of it
630
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,600
and it's not their fault.
631
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,160
I think about it all the time.
632
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:44,280
Trying to understand it, I suppose.
And...you can't...
633
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,080
You can't believe that we lived it.
634
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,480
I've been diagnosed with PTSD.
635
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,760
I did for a long time
have terrible nightmares
636
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,600
and night terrors.
637
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,840
I'm still on antidepressants.
638
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,400
Erm...
639
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,960
But I'm in a lot happier place.
640
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,880
I met Andy about 18 months ago
in a pub,
641
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,880
but we knew each other from, like,
about 30 years ago,
642
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,440
when we used to go clubbing
when we were teenagers.
643
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,680
Words can't describe how much
I love her.
644
00:41:30,720 --> 00:41:33,760
I just think the world of her.
She's brilliant.
645
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,520
Just can't imagine spending my life
with anybody else.
646
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:38,960
She's like my soulmate.
647
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,800
AMELIA:Andy's lovely.
He actually treats her well.
648
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,760
He's really good to me.
He's good to both of us.
649
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:50,600
All the family love him because he's
got a very kind heart, bless him.
650
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:57,240
Seeing her how she is now,
we can relax a bit more.
651
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,440
She's happy, which is something
I didn't think
652
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,680
she would ever be again,
to be honest.
653
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,680
Amelia, nobody will ever
come between us again.
654
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:14,000
She's just the best person ever.
655
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,400
It's definitely brought us closer,
a million percent.
656
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:25,440
I wouldn't say Paula missed
any red flags.
657
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:30,240
She ignored them
because he made her do so.
658
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,040
The level of control
and manipulation
659
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:38,000
and grooming from the offset
that he displayed towards her,
660
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,920
it's no wonder she did.
661
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,760
It does happen to people
who you wouldn't expect it to.
662
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,160
But life can get better -
and hers has.
663
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,920
Very proud of Paula.
664
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,440
I don't recognise
the person I was then
665
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,040
to who I am again now.
666
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,920
But I've been ashamed of it
for a long time.
667
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,720
But I've also learned
that I wasn't to blame.
668
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,640
He's to blame and not me.
669
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,600
Life's good now.
670
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,800
It's all turned out nice in the end.
671
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:21,800
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