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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,200 James was good-looking on his profile picture. 2 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,240 He looked nice, he looked fit. 3 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,680 It was just constant flattery. 4 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,920 Everyone wants to hear that, that you're beautiful. 5 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,320 Something just didn't sit right with me. 6 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,520 He didn't give off boyfriend vibes. 7 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,120 I just instantly didn't like him. 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,720 This man is a walking red flag. 9 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,120 The drinking was getting more and more. He would get a bit nasty. 10 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,480 It broke me, it really did. 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,080 So there's glass now everywhere, 12 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,280 blood from my head, blood from my mouth. 13 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,280 I just thought, "This is the last thing I'm gonna see before I die. 14 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,680 "He's gonna kill me." 15 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,600 I was a mobile hairdresser, 16 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,440 so I was busy, I was always out and about on the road, 17 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,920 got a big circle of friends. 18 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,640 I'd got a good life. 19 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,560 Erm... A bit lonely, maybe, on the weekdays 20 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,280 when your child's in bed 21 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,080 and you're sitting downstairs on your own, 22 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,600 but it didn't overly bother me. 23 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,120 Me and my mum are like that. She's my best friend. 24 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,040 It's always been just me and her. 25 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,120 As a person, she's very open and bubbly 26 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,120 and she'll have a chat with anyone. 27 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:01,440 Like, she's a really easy-going, talkative person. 28 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,560 You can always have a good chat with her. 29 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,880 I do socialise with my family a lot. 30 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,600 We're the youngest two from a big family. We're really close. 31 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,760 We work together, we socialise together, 32 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,000 do a lot of family things together. 33 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,960 She was always like my protector - 34 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,480 very outgoing, very popular, strong. 35 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,360 She'd be the one helping. 36 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,400 If there was a problem, it would be Paula you'd go to. 37 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,360 If there's a crisis, Paula will sort it. 38 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,680 That was always the way it was. 39 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,000 Although I appear to be confident to my friends... 40 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,880 ..maybe not so much underneath. 41 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,680 I matched with a few different people, 42 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,120 had a couple of little chats, 43 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,520 but never really took much of it very seriously - 44 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,240 messing around, really, just looking what's out there. 45 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,760 I can't remember who messaged who first, 46 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,600 but James was good-looking on his profile picture. 47 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,160 He looked nice, he looked fit. 48 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,040 So, it was just purely looks. 49 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,680 We swapped numbers, eventually we were WhatsApping - 50 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:33,200 chit-chat, really. Nothing... No real plans to meet up. 51 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,640 He was a labourer, in between jobs at that time. 52 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,960 He'd been working on a building site. 53 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:45,840 When we talked about people that we knew in common, 54 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,840 that made me feel safe that he wasn't going to be... 55 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,520 ..a lunatic, 56 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,920 or he wouldn't have that many skeletons in his closet 57 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,200 cos they'd come out. 58 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,760 I did ask a couple of people if they knew him, 59 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,280 and they were like, "Yeah, yeah, I know him. He's a good guy." 60 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,440 So, I thought I'd done my homework, 61 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,960 enough to believe what he was saying to me. 62 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:27,280 I think I messaged him one day when I was at a loose end. 63 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,840 I said I'd pick him up in my car. 64 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,120 He was staying with a friend who was a girl. 65 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,960 But he said that was just his best friend, 66 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,720 they'd known each other forever. 67 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,240 And he was staying with her just temporarily. 68 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,280 So, this is where we sat on the first date 69 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,600 for most of the day and night. 70 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,920 It's quite nice out here at night - 71 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,200 it gets warm and there's music. 72 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,040 Sun was out, it was a nice day. 73 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,480 I felt like it was going well straight away. 74 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:04,080 He was full of compliments from the minute we sat down - 75 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,360 "You're beautiful. 76 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,640 "You're prettier than I thought you'd be. 77 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,280 "I didn't think I'd meet anybody, 78 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,080 "but I've got a good feeling about you." 79 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:15,080 It was just constant flattery, and it was nice to hear it. 80 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,800 Everyone wants to hear that, that you're beautiful... 81 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,720 ..especially when you don't feel it so much. 82 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:31,600 He has kind of opened the door of warmth 83 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,840 and compliments and, of course, 84 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,040 as any human being would do, who's being flattered, 85 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,120 you'd walk through and go, "I like it!" 86 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,320 My confidence was probably at an all-time low, really, 87 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:47,360 and hearing all these compliments was just what I needed 88 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,080 for a bit of an ego boost. 89 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:54,040 I didn't think...I was vulnerable in any way. 90 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,600 And that was the start of something terrible. 91 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,280 PHONE RINGS 92 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,480 Straight away, he was calling me and texting all the time. 93 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,280 He straight away wanted to see me again, 94 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,160 which I saw as a good sign. 95 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,720 I was quite happy about that. 96 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,000 I wanted to see him, too. 97 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,680 He was saying things like, 98 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,120 "When we go here" or "When we have a holiday," 99 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,880 just things that he was planning ahead 100 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,120 from the first date. 101 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,680 I was just sort of on a bit of a roller-coaster of excitement. 102 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,880 He automatically wanted to start staying at mine, 103 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,720 and I was a bit uncomfortable with that, 104 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,760 but let him bombard me, really. 105 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,040 I didn't want to say no, so I let him. 106 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:56,160 Someone that pushy so early in a relationship 107 00:06:56,200 --> 00:07:00,800 and almost ready to really push boundaries and push her boundaries, 108 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,480 when they barely know each other? 109 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,520 To me, that is a huge red flag. 110 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,720 I met James within the first week of Paula meeting him. 111 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,240 Obviously, I was eager to meet him. 112 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,600 It was her new partner and I wanted to see what he looked like. 113 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,880 When I met him at her house, 114 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,280 I just had an uncomfortable feeling about him straight away - 115 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,080 like, as if his feet were under the table too soon. 116 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,480 He was just being too comfortable there straight away. 117 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,040 CARRIE:He was there a lot. This was like within the first week. 118 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,360 I was like, "That's strange. Why is he there again?" 119 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,280 And he seemed to always be there. 120 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,400 ANJULA:She's like, "OK, well, he seemed all right at the beginning, 121 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,000 "let's see how it goes." 122 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,440 But he wants to just get himself embedded. 123 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,400 AMELIA:Something just didn't sit right with me. 124 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,480 They didn't look right together. He didn't... 125 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,840 He didn't give off, like, boyfriend vibes, 126 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,440 you know what I mean? Like, he was just very... 127 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,360 A bit weird. Just weird. 128 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,640 I had a bad gut feeling from the get-go. 129 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,600 CARRIE:We were going round for a barbecue, 130 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,640 and cos Paula was attentive to Amelia, 131 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,760 I could hear him say, "Just tell her to go upstairs, 132 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,480 just tell her to go upstairs." 133 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,600 This was like week one. 134 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,520 I just instantly didn't like him. 135 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,800 He tried to drive a wedge between everybody. 136 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,040 It started with Amelia. It started with her own daughter. 137 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,080 I would try my hardest not to be around him. 138 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,600 And if I knew he'd be staying at the house, 139 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,480 I'd go to my aunt's, or my nan's or a friend's. 140 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,960 I kind of distanced myself as much as I could. 141 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,240 REBECCA:Very early on, he is making her 142 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,480 choose between her own daughter and him. 143 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,320 Who does that? 144 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,960 Who makes you choose between your own flesh and blood 145 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,360 and your current partner? 146 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,560 That is not normal behaviour from someone. 147 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,960 That shows signs of someone extremely controlling, 148 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,600 doing that very early on, making her choose him. 149 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,160 I used to say to her, "You'll still always be my number one." 150 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,280 But she didn't like the thought of me having a boyfriend at all. 151 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:30,400 ANJULA:All her family, including her ten-year-old daughter at the time, 152 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,680 Amelia, did not like this person. 153 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:39,160 There were warning signs that other people around her were saying, 154 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,560 "Hang on, just wait a minute." 155 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,840 It did bother me that my family didn't like him, 156 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,120 but I thought they'd come around eventually, 157 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,560 once they saw I was happy. 158 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,320 REBECCA:Your family, your friends will see something that you don't. 159 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,720 So if your family and friends take a dislike 160 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,160 to the person you're dating, for me, another red flag. 161 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,240 I just hate saying his name as well. 162 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,600 I hate saying his name, but I know I've got to say it. 163 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,840 He'd planted seeds in my head that he was staying 164 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,880 with this female friend of his. 165 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:53,600 And why would I want him to go back to stay with another woman? 166 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,320 "Do you not think it's best if I just stay here with you?" 167 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:00,000 And I agreed. I was probably a little bit jealous of their friendship. 168 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,280 So then I thought, "Maybe it's best if he does stay here." 169 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:12,360 The speed in which we have gone from the first meet 170 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,960 to moving in, that is a red flag. 171 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,160 He wants this relationship to move quickly, 172 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:23,240 and they have only known each other a matter of weeks. 173 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,200 At the time, I was sort of in a bit of a love bubble. 174 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,520 It was the bubble of excitement and new relationship, 175 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:34,520 and he was talking as if me and him were a married couple almost, 176 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,960 straight away. 177 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,600 You know, I just thought it was because he was really into me. 178 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,920 And I really thought Amelia would come around 179 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,640 once she realised he was nice. 180 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,320 I would say that the situation Paula is in right now 181 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,600 is that she is withdrawing. 182 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,920 We are seeing her withdraw from her family and friends. 183 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:58,920 And then things began to change quite quickly, really. 184 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,600 PHONE RINGS 185 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,960 He would constantly phone, constantly bombard me with texts - 186 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,360 "Where are you? How long you going to be? I want to see you. 187 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,280 "Come back, I need to see you." 188 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,480 And it was relentless. 189 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,120 "Who are you with? Who are you really with?" 190 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,120 If I had a male client, "Well, who's he? How long have you known him? 191 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,840 "Has he got a girlfriend?" 192 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,640 If ever I was out with my sisters or even if I was with Amelia, 193 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,040 his name would constantly be popping up on my phone - 194 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,040 not that I ever managed to get away from him for long, 195 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,400 cos he would be demanding to see me again. 196 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,640 This is a huge red flag. 197 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,280 There's an element of coercive control 198 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,560 that's very quickly crept into his behaviour. 199 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:50,400 He wants to assert his dominance over her. 200 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,720 He doesn't want her seeing friends. 201 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,080 He doesn't want her working. 202 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,160 He wants to know exactly where she is. 203 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,040 It is that power trip, it is that authority. 204 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,720 She belongs to him now. 205 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:11,040 By now, he was... He'd got the passcode to my phone, 206 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,520 so he would pick up my phone and look in my phone 207 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,240 pretty much any time he wanted to. 208 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,320 ANJULA:He might be worried that somebody is saying to her, 209 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,520 "This guy is horrible to you." 210 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,920 He doesn't want any outside influence, 211 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,320 so he jealously guards any communication she has 212 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,640 with other people. 213 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,360 That strangulation over the communication 214 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,080 leaves her completely isolated. 215 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,360 It made me feel a bit anxious, but also, 216 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,840 I was making excuses for it in my head. 217 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,440 It was nice being loved, and I liked the feeling of being loved. 218 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:49,000 I was making myself believe, "He just misses me. 219 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,080 "He just wants to be with me all the time." 220 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:01,440 I wasn't overly concerned about that because I thought we were a couple, 221 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,640 so my money was his money anyway. 222 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,480 He was just slowly, slowly taking any bit of independence 223 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,200 that she had for herself away from her. 224 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,760 He kind of sort of stripped her down to nothing. So she had nothing. 225 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,720 REBECCA:We've seen him move into her house, 226 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:25,160 take control of her family, her life, and now her money? 227 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,840 When is this going to stop? 228 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,040 CARRIE:He wouldn't allow us to be around her. 229 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,920 If I was there, you could see... 230 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,600 ..the resentment, and he'd take her away. 231 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,200 LAURA:She wasn't the same person. 232 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,480 She was distant. 233 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,240 It's like nothing mattered. 234 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,280 She didn't care. 235 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,760 She didn't even look the same, like, physically. 236 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:10,560 My best friend, Laura, he couldn't stand her. 237 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,640 We're really close, and she made her presence known on purpose. 238 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,080 She wouldn't go away and he kept saying to me, "She uses you. 239 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,240 "You need to get rid of her. You shouldn't see her, she's using you." 240 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,120 But she couldn't isolate herself from me 241 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,280 because I wouldn't let her. 242 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,760 I was killing them with kindness, 243 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,440 pretending that I was OK with the relationship. 244 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,040 He wasn't going to push me out of the picture. 245 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,680 REBECCA:There is that famous saying of 246 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,400 "Keep your friends close "and your enemies closer," 247 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,920 but what we know is he is not one, probably, 248 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,680 to listen to a woman, full stop. 249 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,560 And, really, she was fighting a losing battle with it. 250 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,760 It soon became a bit more sinister. 251 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,800 The drinking was getting more and more. 252 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,960 I was noticing he would get a bit nasty. 253 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,960 And then the sexual pressure would be more if he was drunk, 254 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,120 and a bit more brutal. It was getting rough - 255 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,480 "Don't you fancy me? Don't you like me any more?" 256 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:19,160 I was put under pressure. I felt like I had to give in all the time. 257 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,200 On the other side of all this horribleness, 258 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,080 there were still the compliments - 259 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,120 "You're beautiful. I can't live without you. 260 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,400 "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." 261 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,720 He said he loved me, and I didn't want to lose him. 262 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,840 She did things she did not want to do. 263 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,160 And that is not how you treat someone you love. 264 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,360 That is not how you treat someone you are in a relationship with. 265 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,560 He used to tell me things from his childhood 266 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,800 which excused his behaviour. 267 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,400 And I just thought if I loved him, 268 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:57,040 I could show him how to live a proper, normal life 269 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,600 and he'd be fine. I thought... I thought I could help him. 270 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:07,960 She's given him all her power in order to keep 271 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:12,360 the relationship, in her mind, in some kind of status quo. 272 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:16,120 But, actually, he continues to abuse her and be domineering over her. 273 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,360 It was always a drink-fuelled argument with us. 274 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,400 We went to a local pub of ours. 275 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,200 I could see he was getting aggressive again, 276 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,200 so I just said, "I'm going, I'm not doing this," 277 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,400 and I got up and left. 278 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,080 I went home, went into my house, 279 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,760 shut the door, locked the door. 280 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,600 He showed up about maybe an hour later, 281 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,840 absolutely drunk out of his mind. 282 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,000 And he was banging the door to get in, 283 00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,760 and I was saying, "Just go away." 284 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,840 LOUD BANGING ON DOOR And he was banging, banging the door. 285 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,240 All of a sudden, he just comes crashing through the glass. 286 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,600 GLASS SHATTERS 287 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,480 He'd literally burst into my living room. 288 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,840 Who does that? 289 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:17,640 That shows a level of violence that is sort of uncomprehendible, really. 290 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,280 ANJULA:What you've got here is a guy who is completely 291 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:24,760 in the mindset of, "How dare you do this to me? 292 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:29,240 "I'm the wronged party." He sees himself as the victim, 293 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,120 therefore he has the right 294 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,480 to behave in this completely outrageous way with her. 295 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,960 I was terrified, screaming, "What are you doing? Get out!" 296 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,320 And he sort of grabbed me by the throat, 297 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,200 and he was holding me up the wall by the throat, 298 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,640 and I had to bite his hand to get him off me. 299 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,800 It was... It was horrible. 300 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,000 SIRENS IN DISTANCE 301 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,320 I managed to call the police, but he ran off. 302 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,520 I made a statement about what he'd done, 303 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:05,280 and they were looking to arrest him after that. He disappeared. 304 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,320 I think she's absolutely right at this point 305 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,800 to be totally frightened 306 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,000 because you don't know what he's capable of. 307 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,160 Where is he going to go next with this behaviour? 308 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,040 He was begging me, 309 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,840 "Please don't do this. I'll go to prison. 310 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,520 "If I go to prison, I'm going to kill myself." 311 00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:01,400 ANJULA:What he's done is made her responsible for his life. 312 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,320 And that's the bit that she's responding to 313 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,000 because she's a lovely human being. 314 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,680 And he knows that she's going to respond to that, 315 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,080 which is exactly why he's using it. 316 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,320 I knew we had to end the relationship, deep down. 317 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:18,680 But I still had that pull from him. 318 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,560 He'd always promise he'd change. He'd say he'd go to anger management. 319 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,040 "Please, I can't live without you. 320 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,200 "Without you, I'm nothing. 321 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,600 "I'll kill myself if I haven't got you." 322 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,840 It was so hard listening to him. 323 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,640 It was a lot of pressure to have from somebody 324 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,480 that you thought you loved. 325 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,120 Was it easier not to go through with it? 326 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,760 Probably was. 327 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:54,360 What he has done to her is made it impossible for her to leave. 328 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,080 By this time, I was going nowhere without him. 329 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:03,400 He'd even follow me to work. 330 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,320 I was really depressed, I was really low. 331 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,000 My family didn't know who I was. 332 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,640 I want Amelia to be OK and be back home, 333 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,440 but she wouldn't stay at the house when James was there. 334 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,320 That was breaking my heart. 335 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,280 I hated it. 336 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:25,760 I didn't want to be around him, 337 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,240 so I would always be at either my aunt's 338 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,680 or my nan and grandad's or I started seeing my dad 339 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,560 quite a lot around that time. 340 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,080 The more she wasn't around, 341 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:39,120 the more I was drinking to cover up what was going on. 342 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,160 And, actually, I didn't really want her there while he was there 343 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,360 because the violence was getting worse. 344 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,520 She became a lot more isolated and closed off, 345 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,840 she wouldn't go out much. Erm... 346 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,000 I didn't hear off her much. 347 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:01,000 And she just seemed very, like, stand-offish. 348 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,960 She looked destroyed. And she looked like that a lot. 349 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:09,680 Every day was a nightmare, every day. 350 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,560 I thought, "I'm going to use this opportunity 351 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,640 "to phone somebody and try and get some help." 352 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,680 I called 101, 353 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,520 and then the police came to the hospital 354 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,480 while I was there with my friend. 355 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,960 And they did what they call a DASH. 356 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,840 It is the checklist that we do so we can manage risk. 357 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,640 We can look at the answers given and really give a true indication, 358 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,960 when all the "red flags" are put together, 359 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,600 how dangerous is the perpetrator? 360 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,520 The police were concerned. 361 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,760 They were saying, "You've got to get away from this man. 362 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,240 "You know that, don't you?" And I knew I did, 363 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,520 And I was saying, "Yeah, I meant to, I wanted to." 364 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,720 And I was strong until I spoke to him. 365 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,280 PHONE RINGS The minute I spoke to him again, 366 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,840 he'd break me. 367 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,320 He used to send me photographs of packs of tablets. 368 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:29,160 I felt guilty that I was forcing him to do that. 369 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,200 I thought it was all the outside factors 370 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,640 that were making him the way he was, not him. 371 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,120 So I used to back down. 372 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,480 I got an appointment at the job centre - 373 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,280 it was in July, so it was nice and sunny. 374 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,280 PHONE RINGS I got a call on my mobile phone 375 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,640 from a withheld number... 376 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000 ..and it was the police. 377 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:05,040 They said to me that they had took the unusual step of 378 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,920 applying for a Clare's Law for me. 379 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,920 Clare's Law was set up by the father of Clare Woods, 380 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,440 who was a girl murdered by her boyfriend 381 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:23,000 who had previous for domestic violence. 382 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:28,120 This law came about to protect people against repeat offenders 383 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:29,800 and give people the right to know 384 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,160 who they were spending their life with. 385 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,520 You can do it on behalf of yourself. 386 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,200 Or if you're concerned about friend and family, 387 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,600 you can do it on behalf of them. 388 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,560 When the police do it on your behalf, 389 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,000 it's called a Right To Know, cos you have a right to know. 390 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,880 The police gave me the report and there was a lot on there, 391 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,440 a lot of previous offences. 392 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,840 I was in shock at first, and then I felt sick. 393 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,000 You can shake your phone or hold a button, 394 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,400 and everyone you want alerted to the fact you are in danger 395 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,040 gets alerted. 396 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,840 It is a brilliant app and it can save lives. 397 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,840 I should have been more alarmed that they were so worried about my safety 398 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,880 that they thought I needed an app. 399 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,280 Even though I'd seen a level of violence, 400 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,600 I didn't think he'd really try and hurt me that badly. 401 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:50,440 Because he'd got this 28-day banning order, he couldn't come to my house. 402 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,600 While he was away, Amelia was happier, 403 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,240 so I knew it had to be a permanent thing. 404 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,800 All of his tactics were starting to not work on me 405 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,680 because he wasn't with me every day. 406 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,120 So, then, he said, "I'm going to move to Scotland. 407 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,000 "If I can't be with you, I'm going to move to Scotland." 408 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,080 And I was encouraging it. I was like, "Well, that's a good idea." 409 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:14,800 You know, "Amelia's back with me and, 410 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,040 "you know, you can't be here, basically." 411 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,360 So, he said he'd got some things at my house he needed 412 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,080 to go and start this job - 413 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,240 "Will you meet me? I just want to say goodbye. 414 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,960 "I want to say I'm sorry and I just want my stuff." 415 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,160 Sounds very simple, doesn't it? 416 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,080 When, in reflection, what he's trying to do is meet her. 417 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,040 He has lost control of her. 418 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,400 He has lost control of the situation. 419 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,680 And now this is where it's going to start getting dangerous. 420 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,240 This man is a walking red flag. 421 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,120 I was due to go to a party - 422 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,960 all of my family were going to be there - 423 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,320 so I arranged to meet him at the train station. 424 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,520 He was getting a train from where he was staying. 425 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,320 I wanted him to see me OK, 426 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:11,680 cos I'd been such a mess during the relationship. 427 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,840 I wanted him to see me looking nice again and strong 428 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,760 and back to my old self. 429 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,280 He took one look at me, and he was like, "You're going on a date." 430 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,080 I said, "I'm not. I'm going to a party." 431 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,440 He was like, "I don't believe you. You're going on a date. 432 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,360 "You're not leaving me yet. Let's just go for a quick drink. 433 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,040 "I just want to talk. We can't leave it like this." 434 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,640 What he's witnessing is that she's all right without him. 435 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:44,440 He cannot stand her looking OK, happy and independent of him. 436 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,880 And what he wants to do is get her back under his control. 437 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,200 I should have walked away there and then. 438 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,680 But he'd still got a way of getting into my head. 439 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,320 An hour went - nothing, nothing. 440 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:06,000 PHONE RINGS 441 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,520 Not answering the phone, not answering the texts. 442 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,800 And I thought, "Something's not right." 443 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,400 In the pub, he straight away said, "You're not leaving me tonight. 444 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,000 "I'm staying with you." I said, "I'm going." 445 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,240 I went to walk back to the train station. 446 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,000 He was shouting abuse behind me, 447 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,440 which I was just ignoring and walking away. 448 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,320 But every time I looked back behind, I could see him. 449 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,560 ANJULA:Paula is in very grave danger when he follows her. 450 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,000 He is riven with jealousy, raging. 451 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,800 He feels vengeful, and he's like, 452 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,480 "How dare you do this to me? 453 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,360 "How dare you be separated from me? 454 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,800 "You're mine." 455 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,120 I jumped on the train, 456 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,720 and I couldn't see him for a while and I thought that was it. 457 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,200 And then all of a sudden, 458 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,760 I remember him just coming from one direction, 459 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,840 shouting and screaming at me. 460 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:15,480 Without her knowing, she is in an extremely dangerous situation. 461 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,040 Paula is in trouble now. 462 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,040 When I got off the train in Selly Oak, 463 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,320 I had to walk a little way to my house. 464 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,040 He snatched my handbag off me. 465 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:54,520 Everything was in my bag - my phone, my purse, my keys - 466 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:58,320 and he took my handbag. And he was like, "We'll go to yours." 467 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,080 The red flags - she is out of red flags. 468 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,720 He let us into the house cos he'd got my bag. 469 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,080 I was trying to... 470 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,200 ..I don't know, reason with him. 471 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,040 I was trying to scare him as well, 472 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,480 thinking that my family would turn up, 473 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,440 and I thought that would make him run off, but it didn't. 474 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,240 DOORBELL RINGS I tried every tactic. 475 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:33,800 I tried pleading with her, screaming at her. 476 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,400 Tried to understand her, but nothing... 477 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,240 Nothing I said was getting through. 478 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,400 ANJULA:She knows that her family are right. 479 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,040 But I think, emotionally, there is a great deal of fear 480 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,640 which is charging her behaviour. 481 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,200 And it might not make sense to anyone but her 482 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:55,440 in that moment in time that "This person could do me 483 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,200 "a great deal of harm if you intervene, 484 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,520 "if anyone else comes into this picture, 485 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,280 "and I'm scared for my life." 486 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,360 I also wonder whether she's somebody who believes that, 487 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,560 you know, "I can talk them down, 488 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,120 "so let me just manage this on my own." 489 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:23,040 So, he'd gone, we went home. 490 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,200 But then we didn't know, in the meantime, he'd come back. 491 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,880 James locked all the house up, and barricaded the door. 492 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,760 And that was the start of...a pretty horrible night. 493 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:43,920 He was drunk, he was angry, he was a bit frantic. 494 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,520 Then the threats would start. 495 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,160 He'd push me around. 496 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,600 That went on for a few hours, this nonstop arguing. 497 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,640 I think this whole display is somebody who feels that 498 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,200 they're about to lose something that's theirs. 499 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:10,760 This kind of almost domestic stalker has turned into this violent abuser 500 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,440 because he thinks he is the victim. 501 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:16,920 He's not. 502 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,040 He smashed the phone into my mouth 503 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,680 and all the glass broke in my mouth, off my phone. 504 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,200 I was bleeding by this point. 505 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,120 Now I'm shouting and screaming, hysterical again, 506 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,880 and I'm trying to get away from him. 507 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,000 He pulled me back by my hair, slammed me up the wall. 508 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,240 I remember being on the floor in the corner of my bedroom, 509 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,200 and he was stamping on my back, saying, 510 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,960 "You're cheating on me, you're cheating on me!" 511 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,840 There was a glass at the side of my bed, 512 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,760 and he brought this glass down, and, luckily, I turned my head 513 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,000 and it sort of smashed on the side of my head. 514 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,200 Otherwise it would have been straight in my face. 515 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,440 So there's glass now everywhere, 516 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:14,480 blood from my head, blood from my mouth, and I'm screaming. 517 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,320 Can I have a minute? 518 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,360 SHE SIGHS 519 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,200 And he... Yeah... And he raped me. 520 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:39,920 I was looking up at my ceiling 521 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,440 and there was, like, a crack in the plaster. 522 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:46,200 And I remember lying there, thinking, "He's gonna kill me. 523 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,640 "This is the last thing I'm gonna see before I die." 524 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,360 And then he put this pillow over my face, 525 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,080 I just thought, "Stop moving." 526 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,760 I thought, "I'll scare him into thinking I'm dead." 527 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,800 So I just kept still. 528 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,560 He ripped this pillow off me, 529 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,360 and I was like, "Look, I'll give you the passcode." 530 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,480 So, he gave me my phone back and I shook the phone, 531 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:13,440 which alerted my emergency contacts in the Hollie Guard app. 532 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,560 For her to think about that just speaks volumes. 533 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,360 The fact that she could be going through 534 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,560 a torturous situation - both physically and mentally - 535 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,800 and still think to do that? She is a real fighter. 536 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,160 She's brilliant. 537 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,520 As we got onto my driveway, 538 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,520 one of my neighbours was over the road, working on his car, 539 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,240 and I just ran to him and said, "Phone the police. 540 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:49,720 "I've been attacked." 541 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,280 So James ran off, then. 542 00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:00,560 LAURA:When I got to Paula's house, she looked terrible 543 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,760 and started crying in my arms straight away. 544 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,480 And I just knew that I had to speak to her on her own 545 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:10,240 to find out what was going on. 546 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,640 When I walked to the bedroom, I was like, 547 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,480 "Oh, my God, what's happened here?" 548 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,480 Her bedroom was smashed up, there was glass everywhere. 549 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,000 There was blood on the wall. 550 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,040 And then that's when she told me that he'd raped her. 551 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,840 I just remember asking her, 552 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,160 "Have you had a shower? Where are your clothes?" 553 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,080 I was worrying about the evidence, 554 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,000 knowing that something serious had happened in there. 555 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,400 It was disbelief to start with. 556 00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:50,440 I was just concerned about how I was going to 557 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,600 ever put it right for her, for Paula. 558 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,480 I didn't think she'd ever come back from it, to be honest. 559 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,760 LAURA:Just seeing how horrific her injuries were then... 560 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,440 ..it was heart-breaking. 561 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,680 I remember looking up at her, 562 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,840 and her tears were falling on my face, 563 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:24,600 and we were both crying. 564 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,480 I just remember thinking, "How have we got here?" 565 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,160 I kept Paula safe with me in a hotel, 566 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:36,840 just for that night, so we could just go to sleep and have a rest. 567 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,640 I watched Paula sleep all night. 568 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,480 I just couldn't shut off what I'd saw. 569 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,360 AMELIA:I hated seeing my mum, how upset she was. 570 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,320 She was just broken. 571 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,040 She's always been a very strong person, 572 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,280 so I've never seen her, like, break down like that. 573 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,200 It broke me. It really did. 574 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,760 I just wasn't confident they were going to catch him. 575 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:20,520 I was glad that he was that stupid to come back to Birmingham. 576 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,160 I phoned the police straight away. I said, "James is in Birmingham." 577 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,360 And then not long after that, 578 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,400 I got a phone call from a withheld number. 579 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,080 I answered it thinking it was the police. 580 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,240 It was James. 581 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,320 And I could hear the background noise, 582 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,520 the sounds of the machines and stuff. 583 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,040 I could tell it was the Wetherspoons. 584 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,440 I hung up on him, I called the police straight back, 585 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,040 and they'd got him. POLICE SIRENS BLARE 586 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,200 It feels a bit weird being back here. 587 00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:04,800 When I look up at the windows, up at the top there, 588 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,360 where the witness room was, 589 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:12,560 it does take me back to sitting, the anticipation and the fear of 590 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,640 giving evidence in a Crown Court trial. 591 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,880 I think he believed that I wouldn't turn up 592 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,440 to give evidence. 593 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,560 But I'd had time away from him, 594 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,160 so I'd got myself back a little bit more. 595 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,280 I'd got my family and friends around me. 596 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,280 I'd got a bit more strength back, 597 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,200 and I wasn't going to let him beat me. 598 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,400 The thought of seeing him scared the life out of me. 599 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,480 I didn't want to look at his face. 600 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,520 The last time I'd seen his face 601 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,680 was when he'd done what he'd done to me. 602 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:58,840 And it wasn't nice knowing he was on the other side of that screen 603 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,040 as well, but just not being able to see him 604 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,920 helped me get through what I had to do. 605 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,560 The court experience wasn't as bad as what I thought 606 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,920 it was going to be. I think I'd built it up a lot in my head. 607 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,760 And how I was treated in the courtroom was... 608 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,040 ..better than I expected it to be. 609 00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:25,920 I looked over at the dock 610 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,680 and he was shaking his head in disbelief. 611 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:31,400 And I just looked once more at his face and walked away 612 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,320 and left with my family. 613 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,600 As we walked down the steps of the court, "I thought, we've done it." 614 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,840 You know, "We've got rid of him, he's gone." 615 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,680 You know, "We've actually got him." 616 00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:46,680 I definitely think getting him convicted helped me 617 00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:49,120 put my life back together. 618 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,240 So, yeah, it was great. 619 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,920 That was a good day for us all, a really good day. 620 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,200 REBECCA:A female victim of any crime, 621 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:01,480 whether it be sexual assault, domestic violence, 622 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,040 it's so important that they speak to the police. 623 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,720 Even if you don't feel confident enough 624 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,680 to fully go through a court proceeding, 625 00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:14,440 even reporting it to police gives that Clare's Law the ammo. 626 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,160 So if you do leave that relationship 627 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,320 and the perpetrator starts up a new one 628 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:22,000 and that person applies for Clare's Law, 629 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,560 at least they'll know that they have a history of it 630 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,600 and it's not their fault. 631 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,160 I think about it all the time. 632 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:44,280 Trying to understand it, I suppose. And...you can't... 633 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,080 You can't believe that we lived it. 634 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,480 I've been diagnosed with PTSD. 635 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,760 I did for a long time have terrible nightmares 636 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,600 and night terrors. 637 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,840 I'm still on antidepressants. 638 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,400 Erm... 639 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,960 But I'm in a lot happier place. 640 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,880 I met Andy about 18 months ago in a pub, 641 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,880 but we knew each other from, like, about 30 years ago, 642 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,440 when we used to go clubbing when we were teenagers. 643 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,680 Words can't describe how much I love her. 644 00:41:30,720 --> 00:41:33,760 I just think the world of her. She's brilliant. 645 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,520 Just can't imagine spending my life with anybody else. 646 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:38,960 She's like my soulmate. 647 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,800 AMELIA:Andy's lovely. He actually treats her well. 648 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,760 He's really good to me. He's good to both of us. 649 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:50,600 All the family love him because he's got a very kind heart, bless him. 650 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:57,240 Seeing her how she is now, we can relax a bit more. 651 00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,440 She's happy, which is something I didn't think 652 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,680 she would ever be again, to be honest. 653 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,680 Amelia, nobody will ever come between us again. 654 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:14,000 She's just the best person ever. 655 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,400 It's definitely brought us closer, a million percent. 656 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:25,440 I wouldn't say Paula missed any red flags. 657 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:30,240 She ignored them because he made her do so. 658 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,040 The level of control and manipulation 659 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:38,000 and grooming from the offset that he displayed towards her, 660 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,920 it's no wonder she did. 661 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,760 It does happen to people who you wouldn't expect it to. 662 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,160 But life can get better - and hers has. 663 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,920 Very proud of Paula. 664 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,440 I don't recognise the person I was then 665 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,040 to who I am again now. 666 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,920 But I've been ashamed of it for a long time. 667 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,720 But I've also learned that I wasn't to blame. 668 00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,640 He's to blame and not me. 669 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,600 Life's good now. 670 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,800 It's all turned out nice in the end. 671 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:21,800 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com 55229

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