Original subtitles

I'd never been in a relationship before.

I didn't see any red flags.

I didn't really know what red flags were at 19 years old.

She just wanted him,

and she didn't care about the consequences.

He's been undermining her,

confusing her, gaslighting her.

He was so angry,

and his eyes just turned black.

MANIC LAUGHTER

No way is he hitting her. She'd tell us.

I was on the floor and he was strangling me.

He hits her and it is her fault.

I had to document it...

..in case I ended up dead.

He'd pulled the wool over my eyes.

He's broken her.

Jesus Christ,

he's beat the living daylights out of her.

When I met Liam, he was 21.

I was just turned 19.

I were quite sociable, just living me teenage life, really.

I wasn't really in the dating scene as such,

because I were a bigger girl.

So, I were just...just under 17 stone.

So I were quite insecure, if I'm honest.

Personally, I'd class her as quite, like, the popular kid at school,

but she doesn't see herself as that. But she was, really.

She was, like, a popular person at school.

I don't think I had boundaries, as such, and high expectations for men.

PHONE BEEPS I just used Tinder, like, occasionally.

I just was swiping and then it just happened that I found Liam.

At about 10.30 at night,

and straight away I got a message from him.

PHONE BEEPS We just got on to the topic of things in Doncaster

and things that we found in common.

And then that's when he asked me for my phone number.

He rang me straight away, really. PHONE RINGS

It felt like instantly we had this connection.

So then I was like, "Oh, he must be me soulmate.

"He's into everything that I'm into."

We were on the phone for quite a long period of time -

about eight-hours phone call, throughout the night.

He's agreeing with her. He's positive about her.

He might be very charming.

And these are all the things that we look for initially

to say, "We're on the same page."

And then he said to me on the phone,

"Shall I come and see ya? I'm not going to be going into work.

"I'll ring in sick and I'll come meet you.

"I've never rang in sick before. Not to meet a girl, either."

And I was like, "Oh, well..."

He didn't really give me a chance to say no,

because it felt like he was already preparing himself to come.

Where it ventures into this red flag territory is when he says,

"I've never done this for anyone else before."

Is that a necessary comment?

Or is that to convince Ellie that she is special,

that he's doing this for her?

I first met Ellie when we were at school. I was about...

I think I was about 12 years old.

And then just as the years kinda went along,

we became closer and closer.

At the time, I was just like, "Go for it. There's nothing to lose.

"If he seems interested in you and you're interested in him,

"then just meet him." I didn't see...

It seemed like no harm for her to meet him at that time.

About 7.30 in the morning, and I got myself ready to meet him.

Quite nervous, but quite, like...you know, excited as well.

We've got five daughters,

and they've all got individual personalities.

She's the second youngest. I mean, we were just happy.

Obviously when the kids start getting older and getting into boys,

that's when I'm like,

"Right. Who is he?"

I didn't tell my parents where I was going,

and I thought I'd be back in time before they'd notice, really.

I saw his car. It was a black BMW at the time.

So I got in the car. It was quite awkward at first.

I was willing to get in his car because I set the boundaries

that I wanted to stay in Doncaster. And he told me that that was fine,

we can stay in Doncaster if that's where I felt best safe.

I said, "Well, shall we go to the McDonald's for a coffee?

"We could just get to know each other there,

"and I'll feel safe because I'm in my area."

We were there for about 45 minutes, and that's when we were like,

"We can't really stay here much longer."

So I suggested to Liam, "Shall we go for a walk round the lakeside?"

It's out in the open, so I thought I'd be safe.

I'd be secure in my hometown,

because I know everywhere, how to get to and from

from the places that we was.

I were quite on edge and had quite a lot of anxiety

cos it were the first time meeting somebody before.

I think we were sat on the bench for about 10, 15 minutes

before Liam suggested, "Shall we go for a drive instead?"

He promised me that I'd be safe with him

and that we could stay in my hometown,

so I thought that I'd be OK.

We got into his car, but once we were on the roundabout,

I soon realised that he was taking the turning for Leeds.

And then I said to him, "I don't want to go to Leeds."

I felt really scared, because when I said to him,

"Where are we going? You've missed...took the wrong turn."

He said, "Oh, no. I'm going to take you back...

"We're going to go to Leeds. We'll go back to mine.

"I'll keep you safe. You'll be safe with me."

And I just said to him,

"My parents don't know that I've gone anywhere,

"so they're going to be worried." And he just said,

"I can't turn back round now. We're going to go back to mine,

"and I'll bring you back when you want to come back."

This is a red flag because something is happening

that is out of her control at this point,

and she's got to decide how to react to it,

because this guy is quite literally in control

of where they go next and the vehicle.

I were a bit intimidated, because...he's agreed to something,

and already, straight away, he's gone against my boundaries,

what I've already tried to put in place.

And I'm sort of amping myself up, like, "I'm going to be fine",

trying to make myself less scared and less worried about it.

We went to his living room,

and we just sat and watched some TV on the sofa.

I went to the toilet, and then as I've got out the toilet,

he shouted me and he was laid in his bed.

And that's where he said, "Oh, come in here.

"We'll lay down for a bit. I'm really tired.

"I've not slept all night." And I were like, "Well, neither have I,

"but I don't really want to lay in your bed."

And I was very uncomfortable at that moment in time,

but I still thought, "I've got the power to say no

"and put all the right boundaries in place."

Well, that's what I thought.

So then, I've got into bed with him. We was laid in bed for about an hour.

We did have sex.

I was so unsure of myself and so insecure, being a bigger girl,

that I didn't want to ruin the chance of someone liking me

because it never felt like anyone liked me before.

So I did feel like this instant connection was real.

He explained about his family dynamics,

and he also explained about how he's had some things that's happened

to him in his life that have really affected his mental state.

I felt instantly from him opening up to me like that

like I wanted to protect him and care for him,

and be the mother figure that he needed in his life.

Trauma dumping is something we find in

the early stages of coercive control.

It's out, straight away, in the open, to gain pity from her,

really, to make her feel sorry for him, and to potentially justify

his bad behaviour later down the line.

That's when I'm like, "Right, who is he?"

And I do a bit of research on him.

"Oh, I know somebody. Oh, I know his dad.

"Yeah, he should be all right."

Obviously, what happened is he were from Leeds,

so there's nobody I could have asked.

I did grill her. I were like, "Well, who is he?

"I mean, what does he do?"

She's like, "Dad, I've not had a boyfriend", sort of thing,

"And I really, really like him."

We thought, "I mean, she's found somebody."

I mean, the day he turned up, he turned up in a...

I think it were an 18-plate BMW.

So I think, "Well, if he's got that sort of car,

"he must be doing all right with work." He was not a bum.

So I were like, "He's a good lad.

"Turns up for work every day."

Everything seemed fine.

We ended up having a drink, which, the drink...

The drinks led into quite a lot of...

..well, drinking games.

He seemed to get

way too drunk or intoxicated way faster than everyone else.

He was pushing me to kiss his friend

and to get with his friend, right in front of his face.

And, you know, I was a bit like, "I don't want to do that."

But he still was very pushy about it and was coming out with comments,

"If you like me, you'd do it."

He is not looking at her as Ellie, his partner.

He is looking at her as an object that he can manipulate

and control. If I can get her to do this, what else can I get her to do?

Then he dared himself to suck my friend's toes.

And that's where I were like, "Why would you dare yourself

"to do something like that?"

I think it was just the fact of let's make Ellie jealous.

It was just like he were trying to do everything

to wind Ellie up and try and get her angry and...

But I just felt really uncomfortable, so I was like,

"I'm just going to leave this situation because I can't stand him,

"and I don't want me and Ellie falling out about any of this."

It got to about 4.00 in the morning, and he then changed,

and then was calling me names, like I'm a slag, I'm a rat,

just out of nowhere. We can't see each other.

How can he see someone that kisses his friend?

And it were really confusing for me, because he wanted me to do that.

She were just an emotional mess, to be honest with you,

and it were quite hard to calm her down.

I told her, "Obviously, he is definitely not for you and

"you can find someone better and he's not a nice person."

Woke up the next day, and he'd messaged me saying that he's sorry

and that he just got too drunk. And I just forgave him from that,

because he made me feel like it was my fault.

What you've got here with Liam is sort of intermittent reward

and intermittent punishment -

a kind of trauma bonding tactic.

She's already attached to him in some way,

hoping that he'll go back to the lovely guy she first met, which...

He's all over the place. He's not gonna do that.

I was filled with so many different emotions,

because I didn't...I still felt like a child myself,

and I just didn't know what to do.

I ended up telling Liam about me being pregnant.

He didn't want to talk about me being pregnant, other than he needed me

to have an abortion because it'll ruin his life.

He was too young for a child.

I ended up telling him, "I'm not getting an abortion. I'm going to keep this baby.

"And if you don't want to be part of the baby's life, then I understand."

And then he just blocked me.

He has gone from love bombing her to devaluing her,

and then discarding her pretty damn quickly, hasn't he?

I just broke down. I were crying and I couldn't seem

to calm myself down, cos I'd lost that connection,

what felt so amazing and great.

And this man that felt like the other part of me, is just gone.

I did become really quite strong in

my pregnancy, becoming a single mother.

And I was very adamant that I am going to be a single mum

and I'm going to do a really good job at it, and I didn't need him.

By the time it came to my 20-week scan,

I wanted him to know that he was having a girl.

Liam messaged me and he just put, like,

"I can't believe we're having a girl."

And then I think it was about three or four days later after that that

he drove up to Doncaster and came to meet me

and told me that he wanted to be in her life.

I felt loved. I felt really secure,

and like this were going to be my little family.

I invited him to my parents' house.

No-one were home, it was just me and him,

and we both needed the toilet.

And so, I'd said to him, "I'm pregnant. Let me go first."

But no, he just... He pushed me out of his way on stairs

and raced to the toilet.

At that moment, I felt shocked

because I can't believe he's pushed me, for one, I'm pregnant, for two,

and it's on the stairs, for three.

Like, it was quite dangerous. I could have fell.

I'd been waiting for, like, 15 minute for him to come downstairs,

and... What he'd done, he'd got out the house.

He'd finished on the toilet, and he just walked straight out my house

and drove home, without telling me, without saying anything to me.

And then I was left confused,

really feeling, like, "Well, what's happened?"

We're talking a heavily pregnant female,

and he is behaving in this way that is...

Again, it's that control. And we're border-lining physical abuse now.

It wasn't really until, probably, I don't know,

about four months, three months down the line,

where she'd start telling me little things.

One of the times, she told me... They was obviously in

the same bedroom, and he basically said, "Get out. You're too fat.

"You're taking up too much room."

And she actually considered getting out of bed and sleeping on the floor

while she was pregnant with a child,

so Liam could have the bed to himself.

Everything little he did, I was like,

"Oh, it's because this has happened in his past.

"He doesn't understand this is how you...

"You don't do this sort of thing."

He used to say to me, "Everything happens for a reason,

"and what will be, will be."

So I used to think, "Well, if everything happens for a reason,

"maybe I'm supposed to teach him that he's not supposed to

"do these things."

I... Like, constantly saying to her, "You need to get rid of him. You need to get rid of him."

What else can I say for you to get rid of this person?

And at that moment in time, I feel like no matter what happened,

she just wanted him, and she didn't care about

the consequences at the time.

It's like he slowly chipped away all my self-confidence and everything.

Like...

..like the honeymoon phase, really.

I could just see how proud Ellie was of herself in that moment

for creating this beautiful child, and it was so nice to see.

It's all started with play fighting.

And he used to label it as play fighting,

and it used to be, "I want to wrestle.

"I want to be... I want to do UFC."

And he used to say, "Well, what kind of girlfriend are you

"for not letting me pursue my dreams? You need to let me practise."

And so he'd grapple me, and I'd always say "No.

"I don't like it", and crying and screaming and asking him to stop,

but he'd just say that he's play fighting.

He's not actually meaning to cause me physical harm.

She couldn't find any of the knives in the house.

And it wasn't until two days later, all their knives in the house

was found under Ellie's bed. And Liam says he was putting

them there to protect them if anyone came in.

He's messing with her mind about where something is,

almost wrong-footing her, confusing her, destabilising her reality.

It was the level of control that he had on me that was...

..I was struggling to deal with then.

She starts to feel as if she's the one who's going mad,

when actually he's the very person

who's manipulating the entire situation.

This pub is one of the pubs that me and Liam went to

quite a lot in our relationship.

I remember coming to the pub with Liam and my first daughter,

and we sat at the table.

And I remember not even taking a bite into my meal,

and just throwing up on the restaurant floor.

Looking back, I could tell that I were poorly

because of the pressure of the abuse from Liam.

It's something that I'd prefer to not go into any more,

because it's...it reminds me of Liam.

I'd try and step into my power

and say, "You're gaslighting me. You're trying to manipulate me.

"You're lying to me." But then, he'd get me to a point

where I'd be screaming. I'd be the one screaming, shouting,

acting like a crazy person. But then he'd ring my mum.

PHONE RINGS

"Hi, Jean. Can you come over?

"Because Ellie's acting psycho again.

"She's acting crazy again. She won't calm down.

"I don't know what's up with her."

So then it made me think I couldn't tell my family members

what he was doing, because every time they was coming over,

they was seeing me acting like the abusive one, really.

He's been undermining her, confusing her, gaslighting her,

objectifying her, and he's been the one messing with her head,

so that he can be the hero to her family.

This is awful, awful abuse, and a massive red flag at this point.

I felt so emotionally unattached to Liam, because he spent

all his time just making me feel so unloved and unappreciated.

I just did not feel attached to this man,

and I just didn't know how to get out of that cycle.

I said, "It's not that I'm attracted to this guy.

"I think it's just because I don't... I feel like there's distance

"between me and you, and I think we need to work on that,

"because I don't want to be going elsewhere. I want to be with you."

And he were like, "Well, I'm glad you've told me, and that helps...

"It's understandable, and that will help us build on our relationship."

He didn't give me a chance to give him any explanation.

He was so angry, and his eyes just turned black.

And it was like he was just a completely different person.

And he backed me up into a corner.

He was just punching at me.

And I'm trying to, like, get past him to get open the door.

And then he grabbed both my earrings, and he put that much pressure on

my earrings that they broke whilst they was still in my ears.

He were getting more and more control over me,

and, like, I felt so threatened and intimidated

and on eggshells in my own home.

And I was struggling to raise my children.

I'd never been in a relationship before,

so I didn't know whether...I...

..like, it was my fault that that had happened, in a way.

He made me feel like it was my fault.

I didn't tell my parents. I felt embarrassed and confused,

because it felt like they was the consequences of my own actions.

He's already put on that I'm this crazy person,

so it felt like they wouldn't believe me, regardless.

She feels she has nowhere else to go.

She feels that her family are on his side, when in reality,

if she'd spoken to them, of course the family will be with her.

She is their daughter.

But he has made her believe that it's her fault.

She has made this decision to not speak to anyone about it,

and this is exactly what he wanted.

He's broken her.

I had to document it for...

..in case I ended up dead.

It's... SHE SIGHS

..a clear example of gaslighting here.

She... You can hear she's visibly upset,

because he is making her out to be mad.

She's saying one thing to him and he's lying,

saying, "No, no, that didn't happen."

LIAM LAUGHS WILDLY

He hits her and it is her fault.

ELLIE SCREAMS

"Are you going to say sorry to me?" That's him saying that to her.

He has just punched her...

..yet she's the one that's got to apologise.

This man is vile.

That's horrific, that.

QUIETLY:Poor girl.

I couldn't be an unstable mother for my kids,

so I had to document it to remember what he was doing.

Because if not, I wouldn't have a clue what he'd done.

I had to erase that from my memory and my mind for me

to get on with my life, for my children.

She did the right thing in documenting the evidence.

However, it is so important to report...

Even if you don't want anything done, that early on,

it is so, so important to report it to police,

because there are measures that can be put in place to help.

I never felt I could reach out to anyone properly,

and get out of that relationship. And I just knew that there'd be more

consequences from me ringing the police.

He was telling me every Monday, "We're going to work things out."

And then he did that for a full year until I found out that

he was seeing someone else on the side.

He spoke about how he's very depressed,

he doesn't know what he's doing with his life,

he thinks he's in a psychosis state,

and that's why he started seeing this other girl,

and that he wants to be back with me and his family.

And I was just thrilled. I was like, "Yes",

because I really was hoping for this really set family.

I wanted my kids to have both parents in the home.

I wanted it to work out right. So I took him back,

and he moved in within that same week.

I think at this point in time, she is desperately trying

to get good Liam back. And I think that speaks to

the trauma bonding that she has with him.

When he first came back, I felt so happy,

and, like, I forgot all the abuse.

Everything came back to me.

Every argument, every time he's gaslit me,

all of the abuse came back to me. And then I realised that

I've got myself back in this cycle.

It's so weird. It's like she despised him,

but she was madly in love with him at the same time.

It's just a crazy scenario, and I feel like no-one would

understand that unless you was in that situation.

It made me feel like I did deserve it,

because he was telling me that I deserved it.

And then he told me that his friend told him that

I deserved ten times more than what he had give me,

and that I should be lucky.

I should feel lucky that he didn't do worse than what he did.

It was easy for him to get away with so much,

because my mum and dad had so much pressures going on in their lives.

They had a house fire, and the house fire happened in

the beginning of him coming back.

I didn't want to cause any more stress and pressures

and any more problems.

She had never said anything.

We just believed the little bruises she had here and there

over the years... I mean, she's got two young kids, so...

She did cover a lot up.

I mean, sometimes she'd wear a polo neck.

My wife were more aware. She was like, "I'm sure he's hitting her."

I were like, "No." I mean, he could be so polite.

She's like, "I think something's going off", and I dismissed it.

I were like, "No, I don't believe it is.

"No way is he hitting her. She'd tell us."

He'd pulled the wool over my eyes.

Domestic violence perpetrators can look like anyone.

I think he just fooled absolutely everybody, not just Ellie.

He had everyone played in his little game,

and he just got to everybody.

This night out had been planned with me

and my friend for quite a few week.

And I'd told Liam. He knew about it well in advance.

And he was like, "Well, if you stay out till stupid o'clock,

"I'll cancel the holiday on Monday."

And I was like, "Well, I definitely will be home for the right time,

"and you don't have to cancel no holiday."

The night were probably the best night out that we've had in ages.

We really enjoyed ourself. We've not probably had

a night like that in a long time.

And Ellie was so excited because she were like,

"He's not even going to be mad at me,

"because I'm going home before 12 o'clock",

which obviously in my head I'm like,

"You shouldn't have to worry about that as such, anyway."

He has controlled her that much, that not only is she doing exactly

what he says, but she's almost proud of herself.

Walked in, I've noticed all lights were off.

And then I've gone into the kitchen, I've noticed he'd been drinking.

There were eight pint cans just dotted around house.

So, I've gone upstairs and then I've just sort of nudged him

a little bit, and I'm like, "Lee, I'm back.

"I need to wake you up so then you know what time I'm home.

"It's 12 o'clock. I have been home for ten minutes,

"but I've been getting ready for bed."

And he didn't say a word to me, but he just launched at me.

It's heartbreaking and harrowing,

because there is nothing Ellie can do.

And that's why it's so dangerous,

because Ellie can't pre-empt this.

She can't prepare herself for this.

I was on the floor, and he was strangling me.

And then I must have passed out.

And then I remember waking up from the floor,

and he'd...that's when he punched me in the face.

And then I passed out again.

I remember just getting up, feeling really, really weird

and feeling this big headache. Like, I just didn't...

I was so confused. I walked into my children's room first.

They were still asleep, so I was like, "Right, OK.

"Kids are asleep. They're fine, they're fine."

I went to the bathroom and I seen my face, and I saw, you know...

I was shocked. And it were at that moment of seeing myself with that,

that I thought, "No more. I can't let him keep doing this to me,

"because if I don't get out of this house right now,

"what if he attacks me again? What if I die?"

I just ran down the stairs. I had my phone with me,

I had my pyjamas on, didn't have no shoes on.

And I think I was in a state of confusion.

And then I picked up me pace and were running.

And I don't know where I were thinking I was going.

I just needed to get out of there, because I felt like I was in such

a dangerous situation that he could end my life.

Liam chased me down the street and he drags me back home.

But in that time, I think I was trying to ring my sister,

but he got to me. So I've texted her instead and I've said,

"Tyler, come quick. I need your help."

I was covered in bruises and grazes all over my body.

So she knew she had to act fast, and she did, luckily.

And I am so grateful, as well, that she did come as quick as she did.

I, like, turned to her, and her face just dropped.

And she was just like, "Where is he? What's happened?"

And I'm like, "I don't know. I don't know what's happened",

because I was so confused myself, because

the only...only reason why it happened was because I woke him up

to tell him he didn't have to cancel the holiday.

"I don't know what I've done.

"I know I've hurt her, but I don't know what I've done.

"I don't know why I've done it. I blacked out."

And he was really trying to make out that it was someone else

and it wasn't him. And then, that were it.

He ran upstairs and were getting his stuff and were going.

Me and my wife were in bed.

All of a sudden, we heard rustling at the door.

And we could hear kids crying.

Jean's opened the window and looked down.

And Tyler said something to Jean, and Jean's like,

"You stay in bed", to me.

She's gone darting downstairs.

Then I've heard Ellie crying her eyes out,

and obviously, I'm not going to stay in bed.

And then my dad came downstairs and my mum came downstairs,

and my dad just went, like, white as a ghost.

Everything flashed,

all these little marks what she's had over the years.

Jesus Christ,

he's beat the living daylights out of her.

I ran out the house with a pair of flip-flops on,

me boxer shorts and a T-shirt, jumped in me car,

drove straight up to her house,

which is literally two minutes away.

Liam had already gone by that point.

And he'd left in my car, because I paid £1,000 for it.

My mum took me to the hospital cos my eye was that swollen

and that bruised, I couldn't see.

And then it was at the hospital that...

..like, they pushed me into disclosing the abuse.

At first, I were quite closed off about it all, because I have been.

I've been silent. I was silent for so long, and it felt a norm for me.

So it felt like I don't know how to explain what's been going on.

Then I finally opened up, and the on-guard police officer that was at

the hospital, came and spoke to me, took a statement,

and then it all just... The police picked it up from there.

But obviously then everything's flooded out of her. And she's like,

"This has been happening for years and I've kept it quiet."

And then she started showing the pictures from over

the years, and they're all date-stamped.

We were like, "How have you coped?"

I didn't see anything until the next morning.

And then I woke up, and there was about 20 messages from Ellie,

loads and loads of missed calls. Her family's called me, text me.

I was like, "What the hell's happened?"

So, I opened it and the first thing I saw was this

picture of her being punched and the massive black eye.

I were just mortified. And to a certain extent,

I did feel a bit guilty that I just let her go back to that.

He was texting me. I was in the hospital, and he was like,

"What's happening?"

He said, "Are we still going on our holiday, Monday?"

And I were like, "No."

Even after that had happened,

he was trying to make me feel sorry for him.

So then, he ended up saying to me, "What do you want me to do?

"Tell me what I'm supposed to do."

I want you to go and hand yourself in, for this to...for this to end,

for me to get some sort of peace from this.

Go and hand yourself in.

I felt relief, because I felt like finally, I get to have some space.

I get to have that freedom. I can have that separation from

being controlled and abused and everything else,

and I can become a stronger person within myself.

Then in court, when they started showing you these pictures

on the TV, I were mortified because it was something I didn't want

to see, because that's my daughter on that screen,

and she's been through all this and not said nothing.

How bad was it where she couldn't even tell her parents,

"I'm getting beat up"?

She were that scared, and he intimidated her that much

that she didn't dare tell us.

He's a very, very evil and possessive man.

I was so, so happy she got a bit of justice.

She didn't get the justice fully that she deserved,

in my opinion, at all.

I don't believe the prison sentence were long enough, anyway,

for the amount of charges brought against him.

If he'd not punched her in the face and given her a massive black eye,

she'd have covered that up, and it'd probably be still

going on to this day.

I'm massively proud of her, to be fair,

because she could sit there and tell me straight in my eyes that

she's not moving on. She doesn't feel strong.

But from an outside point of view, I know full well, even if it's only

a tiny bit of progress every single day,

she's slowly making the progress.

When I met Liam and we came to this bench,

I can see that my 19-year-old self sort of got...stayed on this bench,

and that I lost her the day that I met him.

Being here and sitting here now without him,

I'm now connecting myself back to the girl I was before meeting him.

I got asked to attend a poetry workshop with the Women's Aid.

I used to really enjoy creative writing,

but there's been a block there for

five year, whilst I've been with Liam.

And then now, it's helped me realise that I can do it.

"I was 19, and he was 21.

"That was the start of the trauma bond.

"He love bombed me like he was preparing for war.

"I didn't understand his sick game, the one where he was keeping score."

Poetry has helped me find the courage to say what I want to say,

and it also creates something beautiful

after everything so negative.

"He manipulated and gaslighted me.

"He caused me to dissociate from the true reality.

"I thought it was because his inner child was broken.

"I thought, with my help, he could have his truth spoken."

She did a poem last Saturday in the town centre,

and she didn't want us there. And I stood in the background,

so she didn't actually see me. I was there. And like I say,

we're so proud of her.

I am putting it out there

and trying to show the world

that it's OK to speak up.

You don't have to be ashamed from things you've gone through,

because it's not your fault that you've gone through them.

And I think it's important for people to have a voice

and raise the awareness and education that's needed,

so people can prevent from getting in them relationships.

A lot of people that come out of domestic violence relationships

can't talk about it, let alone talk about it to thousands of people.

I mean, that just shows what a strong, kind person she is.

The amount of messages she's getting, just like,

"You've helped me out of this situation. You've shown me how to do it.

"I've been in this relationship for 30 year, and now I've broke free."

She's helping other women, which I'm so proud of.

Even though she's kind of reliving the trauma by posting,

it's helping her heal, as well. And she's looking back,

and I feel like she's coming into realisation

what she's actually gone through,

because I don't even think she knows herself, until recently.

I didn't see any red flags.

I didn't really know what red flags were at 19 years old.

I think now before ever meeting anyone again, that I've got

the knowledge there behind me to make sure

that I don't end up in the same situation.

"Five years on, and I'm now 24.

"I'm wiser, older and stronger than before.

"I know now this was all for his gain.

"But he really did make me feel mentally insane.

"The trauma, the flashbacks, the pain that I endured,

"I now know this love cannot be cured."

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