Original subtitles

It's very hard to choose

the most despicable thing about this guy.

He's self-important, he's self-indulgent--

A bad family man. A horrible provider.

Raunchy, rude--

He's got all these hang-ups and sexual issues.

Probably a sexual deviant.

A complete womanizer.

A backstabber.

Just not bright.

He's a horrible dad.

He's smelly.

He would park in a handicapped space.

Disgusting.

A liar. Rude, crude, lewd.

He's corrupt. He's dishonest.

Um, he's consummately selfish.

How can one person be so oblivious,

insensitive, hateful, tactless, boorish,

and ill-tempered to everyone he meets?

It's a gift.

( jazz theme playing )

I didn't, you know, set out to have

any kind of preconceived idea to create a show like this.

I was doing some design work for Gabor Csupo

at Klasky Csupo,

and he was asking me, "Do you have any ideas?"

Because he had-- He had just started The Simpsons there.

Well, you know, I'm working on this comic

with this duck character, and so I brought it in

and he liked it, and so we actually kind of started

playing around developing the show idea

before the comic was totally finished.

But I had a lot of the comic material

and a lot of the stories were, uh, in place.

I originally based Duckman

really on a working relationship

between a good friend of mine and his assistant,

and he was really very much like a Duckman kind of character,

and his assistant was very much

the steady hand that kept everything going,

and took a lot of abuse.

That kind of dynamic sort of started me thinking

about coming up with two characters like that.

So I came up with Cornfed Pig actually in the same drawing.

So that was sort of the--

The beginning of the thing, and then, uh,

I added other characters as I went along,

and I had this, kind of, detective dynamic

going as a business, giving them a lot of ability

to go a lot of different places.

If we go undercover at his art gallery

we'll find the miracle painting.

Miracle shmiracle.

Klasky Csupo had been working with Everett Peck,

and they own the rights to the comic, uh, Duckman.

And, uh, their lawyer,

a fellow named Tracy Kramer,

who used to be, actually, an agent of ours,

uh, was the one to approach us with the material.

We hooked up with Jeff and Ron

and we sat down and talked and, you know,

they were really great, and totally,

you know, got it right from the start.

They were the show runners

because they came from that background,

and I basically ran the art side of things.

At that time, I mean, it was still kind of old school.

From the first draft of the script

to the final locked picture was nine months.

We'd come up with a script and then we would record it.

All the actors record their parts

and we'd have to get everything timed perfectly.

It would be edited into what we call a radio play,

which was essentially a 22 minute block of just audio.

Then they would start animating it.

They animated it to those voices, that timing--

Same time I'd be working with Jerry and the other artists

to develop any kind of special poses we would need,

or special expressions that the characters would need.

New characters--

Some episodes we had a ton of new characters to design.

Uh, an also the backgrounds.

How they would look, and the color and all of that.

All four seasons were done on cells.

It was much more, uh, a kind of complicated

way of doing things,

but that's how all four seasons were done.

And once we got the board together,

and the special poses,

and the timing worked out, that would all go overseas,

and then in about six weeks we'd get--

Start getting some finished film back,

and then we'd start the editing process.

First season, we actually

had to edit it on an old flatbed with film,

which was terrible because we'd all be huddled

around this little dark screen,

and then we'd do the music

and the sound effects, and finish it up.

What the hell was I thinking?

Partly by design, partly-- Partly through luck,

we came up with a show

and a character in Duckman

that, um,

you could do almost any kind of joke you wanted,

and it was-- It was kind of this amazing find,

and part of that was due to the fact it was animated.

EVERETT: I wanted this guy's life

to just be as big a piece of crap

at home as it was at work,

so he got no relief. And--

So he had this really dysfunctional family,

and he had this really dysfunctional career,

and, um, when we started the series

it was Jeff and Ron's idea

that instead of having him married,

his wife was deceased

and he lived with his sister-in-law,

and that's how--

That's how that relationship came about.

He is a widower, uh,

who, uh, due to circumstances of his wife's will,

is forced to live with his sister-in-law.

There's a mild sexual tension, at least on his part,

but what's on the surface

is just complete disdain and hatred.

They're looking for ways to hurt each other.

Duckman!

He's got Ajax,

who is the burn out of burn outs,

and he's got Charles and Mambo, who share a body

with two heads, and then, uh,

his old mother-in-law Grandma-ma,

who communicates only through flatulence.

It's-- It's basically a typical American household.

I've decided it's time we did

what other people who live in the same house do.

We're going to start planning things as a family.

How about separate vacations?

( all laughing ) He is a private detective,

and his partner is a very smart pig.

That's-- That's Duckman.

Your aura is a mystic reflection of your soul, okay?

The essence of what is inside you.

( screaming )

We really found a thing where we could write every kind of joke.

You know, every kind of humor.

And when you can go from silly, to outrageous, to irreverent,

to really dark,

when you can cover all those bases,

you know, effectively,

and have a character who can

kind of embody all of that,

that kind of stands out.

RON: It was that rare situation on a show

when the writers were hitting their stride

and the scripts came in,

I was a fun of reading these things too.

EVERETT: They put together a fantastic team of writers.

I was always totally pleased

with whatever they came up with.

What an experience.

I think this is something I'll always carry with me.

Not unlike a malignant tumor. Our take was actually to do

kind of a less intelligent Howard Beale from Network.

The thing that appealed to us,

was that he was kind of a social observer,

but, of course, it was filtered through his very,

kind of, self-centered universe.

That's what John Q. Public wants.

That's what made me famous.

That's what got you a free ride on the Duckman gravy train.

And with exposure like this,

that train's going all the way to the top.

His rants were just unique to him and sometimes

he nailed stuff, and sometimes it was, uh,

just off into the ether.

This world's depressing enough without a few insult slurs

and good honest laughs at other people's expense.

A case like this you take for the principle.

And any favors, freebies,

and groupie phone numbers you can throw my way.

I will say, on record,

I've never had more fun writing a show.

I knew I had 'em. The answer's got to be in here.

Home movies.

In the pilot, we did a very conscious thing,

where Duckman's home movies that he was going through

took you through the various eras of animation.

Each era kind of represented a time in his life,

which was really funny.

MAN ( on TV ): The winning numbers are 4, 11, 22, 51, and 88.

That's me!

Whoo-hoo! I won.

D'oh!

( screams )

There's always that fine line

about making too, uh, precise a reference

to a contemporary event that then,

after a year or two,

becomes really, kind of, dated feeling.

So we were always kind of on the fence about that,

but there are certain things,

like the Ark of the Covenant,

or that stuff, that are always good.

NARRATOR: Something called the Ark of the Covenant.

One of our favorite parts of the show,

was that it was a social satire.

We'd parody mental institutions,

stand up comics, military industrial complex--

We kind of had a really good time going after institutions

and things, you know-- RON: Sacred vows.

And celebrity rehab. All that stuff.

MAN: This special section is for celebrities

actually addicted to checking into rehab clinics.

With this class of clientele,

they run into scheduling problems.

JEFF: He was able to say so many things

that maybe need to be said, about lots of the institutions.

She's a fake! She's taking your money!

She's a bigger rip off than those

talk-to-a-nympho-in-prison hot lines that double charge

on your bill when they know you can't do a thing,

because you can't tell anyone you called in the first place.

( chuckles )

So I've heard.

JASON: I would never

have thought to team

Jeff and Ron with Everett, and yet they were

able to adapt their vision and their sensibility

to exactly what he had laid down as a ground plan,

and then take a guy like me,

who literally was just dropping by, you know,

I had no overview of the project.

And they were able to guide me through--

It was just remarkable.

They were truly the right guys at the right time.

I've had a talk with my family. They know it's wrong

to capitalize on something for extra bucks.

The guys always set a great balance between

the parts of Duckman that are, you know, funny ugly,

and this kind of innate sweetness to the guy.

I miss her, you know.

Tomorrow would have been our wedding anniversary.

I forgot. I guess I blocked it out.

It's the first one I'll be spending without her.

That may explain the way you've been feeling lately.

( cries out )

Every now and then,

when he stops ranting and raving,

and has a moment to himself, he realizes

that he is a-- A failed life.

Duckman, according to your family,

you're not an incomparable crime fighting hero,

you're not special or unique,

in fact, there's absolutely nothing

memorable about you at all.

( cries out )

That little window into his own

despair and his own angst and his own

sense of worthlessness,

I think--

As much as anything could.

--redeemed him through

all the ranting and raving and depravity that followed.

Never knew what to make of him.

Never knew what people would think.

I got to go out and tell my story

to those poor, unenlightened people who aren't yet

lucky enough to believe.

The thing we-- We kind of settled on with Duckman

was that he was kind of a fallen idealist.

Who'd aspire to be someone who's gotten the stuffing knocked out

so many times the only reason he gets up in the morning

is because either he's really stupid,

or somewhere deep down inside beats the heart

of a disappointed yet still hopeful idealist.

RON: He's a person, in our minds, who got up every morning

and pushed the rock up the hill,

and the rock would roll over him,

and somehow he kept-- He kept getting up.

And it gave us, kind of, a pathos underneath,

that Jason, when he came in,

just nailed.

She's got a chance at a new life.

She shouldn't settle for me. I wouldn't let her live.

I'd spend the rest of our lives holding her back 'cause

I was afraid of losing her.

I had been doing a little bit of animation,

I was in the middle of doing Seinfeld,

I think we were maybe three seasons in,

and my agent called and said,

"Something, something, animation, something.

Duckman, something, something, something."

I thought it was for a guest thing.

I didn't know it was, like, for the title character.

And I ran down to Klasky Csupo,

and I didn't even know the name of the show.

I didn't know anything.

And they hold up this character,

you know, the duck, and they go,

"He's kind of angry and pissed off."

We listened to about 70 different people,

and, uh, I was kind of burned out,

and I remember one day, I was standing in my office,

and Marv Newland was there, who's an old friend of mine,

and an animator in his own right,

and he was kind of helping out on the first episode,

and I saw him look-- You know, "I can't--

I can't listen to these anymore."

We were playing a few of them through

and then we played Jason.

He goes, "There's your guy. That's him."

Amusing. It's not without a certain

understated omniscience.

( superhero theme playing )

EVERETT: And so we, Jeff and Ron and I, talked about it

and said to me, "Let's go with Jason."

When the agent called and said, "Okay, um, you're Duckman,"

and I went, "So what is it. How many--? Is it one and out?"

"No, the show is Duckman. You're Duckman."

Ha-ha. I'm Duckman.

JEFF: Collaborating with Jason

was one of the most fun experiences we've had.

RON: It's rare that you have an actor

where you know when a joke is funny

he will not only match it,

but even, you know, make it funnier.

We were certainly writing

to his voice, but he brought so much to it in the booth.

That was just, uh, just terrific.

And he just-- He just nailed it.

EVERETT: I mean, I can't imagine

anyone else doing the voice.

He was great.

We're working for the biggest American dick ever.

( funky theme playing )

Cornfed fell in place right away.

As soon as Gregg Berger did that,

sort of, Joe Friday kind of voice,

that was it, you know.

GREGG: And they handed me this image

of a fantastic little pig. Cornfed.

And I think scribbled in pencil was--

Was, "Just the facts, ma'am."

And I grew up watching way too many Dragnets.

And so loosely based,

but the same kind of direct look-you-in-the-eye,

skinny tie, stingy brimmed hat

approach.

While most people would go for the easy Jack Webb comparison,

I always considered Jack Lord my spiritual forerunner.

It's just a great, kind of, Jack Webb to the--

You know, the thousandth degree.

I'm Pig. Detective Cornfed Pig.

GREGG: At least half of season one

I was recording from Russia,

where I was shooting for three months.

Duckman was in production, Ron and Jeff sent me to Russia

with this little, tiny digital audio tape recorder.

They would call at the appointed time

and in my hotel room,

on a telephone connected to Klasky Csupo,

I would lay down tracks and they would listen

until they were happy with what they heard.

So I was reading everything

in splits from 9000 miles away

in animation, not on camera.

Sometimes you can be in two places at one time.

I was.

( screams ) CROWD: Cornfed, Cornfed...

Of course it was dangerous, mayor,

but that comes with the territory.

( cries out ) ( moos )

He did a lot of other voices on the show too,

and I know in the-- In the live action on Papa.

M-O-W, M-O-W, I guess, he plays the drunk.

Duckman, there's a woman outside to see you

and you'll be very proud of me.

I barely vomited on this one at all.

That wrote itself, and, uh--

( chuckles )

On the tube everyone's a little bit bigger than life.

A little more glamorous.

And he just-- He was a great time.

He was a great-- He's a terrific guy.

And really good.

Gregg used to screw me up in the room

'cause I couldn't get through it.

Gregg is really the only one

that had that part nailed in the first episode.

There was no, uh-- There was no growth needed.

He knew exactly who that character was.

EVERETT: I thought some of the best comic situations we had

was when Duckman would mistreat Cornfed.

Who are you? My name's Cornfed.

Well, I'm Duckman. Want to be my partner?

Sure, if I don't die.

Ooh, that smarts.

He's got a lot of skills.

His background in the Irish parliament doesn't hurt.

His history with long-leggy models doesn't hurt.

He was an Olympic judge,

an air conditioner repairman,

uh, a plumber par excellence.

But I think above all of them

is he cares for this duck,

and he's willing to do the work of two

to make sure that they get out of whatever trouble the duck

gets them into every time.

I think it's just an issue of co-dependency.

At the risk of sounding insubordinate,

are you out of your ****ing mind?

GREGG: It's phenomenal to be part of a team

that is that buddied up on camera.

Nancy and Gregg and I got to do some stuff together.

( funky theme playing )

Bernice and Duckman were always arguing

or there was some bizarro romantic undercurrent going on,

and it always worked far better

when we were in the room together.

Nancy was actually someone that Jeff and Ron had worked with,

and again, fantastic,

uh, actor and just-- Just nailed--

Nailed the character.

Bernice is very opinionated,

uh, very into her body,

obsessed with exercising,

obsessed with telling Duckman

what an idiot he is.

Quiet, you worthless sack of stuffing,

I'm on the phone. We looked at--

Bernice is just kind of the queen shrew

of all time, and boy she

rose to that occasion.

Duckman was unusual, because they wanted this

really crass, hardcore voice.

( giggles )

( as Bernice ): Bernice is this loud

and obnoxious character.

Move your f... butt and f... get us

a f... table right f... now!

Living with this guy

who all he cares about is sex,

and dealing with him and--

Uh, and I think that kind of thing

you just have to go for it

and play it to the-- To the extreme.

( laughing )

You are so cute when you're smarmy and repugnant.

What was exciting about it was that it was so

wildly imaginative

and not p.c. at all.

Pushing all the buttons you could push.

Going right up to the line of being

gross and crass, sometimes crossing it,

but always in a very funny,

intellectual way.

Last week we converted the twins' stock dividends

into singles and blew the whole thing

at that live nude amazons bar by the airport.

I knew that ****er didn't quit smoking.

You know how tough it is raising kids with a role model

like that feathered weasel?

( funky theme playing )

E.G. Daily--

You really got the comedy

of that character. She always took the character

to a different place

than I had a pre-conceived idea

of what it would be like,

and it was always great fun.

A sweater.

Who should we thank?

You or the midget who left it at the bus depot?

I just remember thinking, "Wow, that's really cool"

that they're actually in a cartoon

where you get to be any of those cartoons

that are a little racy, or a little more--

That are really true to life, which is pretty funny.

JASON: She'd come in, she'd do the little squeaky voice,

and then you go out to a rock club

and see her Janis Joplin her way through some stuff.

You know. Oh, my God. They were trying to match up

Charles and Mambo, and that's when they found

Dana and myself.

( as Mambo ): Mambo's sorta like this.

( normal voice ): And everything-- Kind of reminds me

of Jason in a way, but in boy form.

in that he's just sort of dry and cutting,

brash, and so I just-- You know, I think that Mambo

is not quite as smart, because--

That's what I think,

because brash sometimes doesn't think first,

so I'd have to say, even though I hate to say it,

that Charles is smarter than Mambo.

Got any hobbies? It's speaking

in a binary-based code only we understand.

How wonderfully adolescent.

100110001001.

( both laughing )

( funky theme playing )

Right before I started to do the voice-overs,

I remember having a conversation with Dana

and I remember talking to her on the phone

and her telling me about how the voice-over thing--

'Cause she had the boy thing like I do,

and I remember that was

a pivotal conversation. She sort of, in a way,

transformed that voice-over thing for me,

so I have a lot of gratitude to her.

EVERETT: She was just a sweetheart, and, uh,

again, just a terrific attitude,

and very professional and never missed a--

Never missed a mark.

We'd been aware of medical issues all along the way.

You know, we really loved her.

She was just so sweet.

RON: Yeah. Real sweetheart.

JEFF: Terrific and it was just sad.

RON: Or let it weight her down or anything, you know, and, uh,

yeah, she was-- She was also,

and, of course, just an excellent actress.

She actually came in and recorded one day

and her energy was just--

Just very, very low.

And, um, she--

She, either that day or the next,

went into the hospital and went into the coma.

They read people for the audition for Dana's voice,

but I was just so familiar with the show

I think that really helped me have an edge on them

and they just said, "Will you please do it?"

And to me, it was just a real honor to be asked to do that,

because she was a really good friend of mine

and to be able to carry on that character for her,

you know, I'll always remember her.

E.G.: She was really good. She was a brilliant actress,

and, uh, I've really glad I got to work with her,

because I had a lot of time with her there,

and spent a lot of time with her,

just privately, you know, as friends

and got to watch her and experience her on the planet

while she was here.

I went into it a little nervous, because it was Dana's slot.

Charles seemed to be the head that had a little more sense,

and, uh, Mambo the head that was,

you know, a little more out there

on the two-headed son.

Freudian! Jungian!

( grunting )

PAT: He obviously knew he wasn't gonna be getting

far away from Mambo in this world,

but I think he was maybe the more reasonable one.

Uh, maybe a little bit more sensible.

It became a real wonderful timing issue with E.G.

And that made it all the more fun.

BOTH: Eww!

Fluffy and Uranus were characters

I developed for the comic.

( funky theme playing )

A friend of mine looked at the comic and he goes,

"Gee, you know, Duckman's so mean.

You need some nice people in there. Nice characters."

So I said, "All right, you want nice? I'll give you nice."

Poor misguided Mr. Duckman.

You don't need to mutilate your body

just to meet some faint standard

of superficial attractiveness.

We look past all that to see your inner beauty.

Mm-hm.

Time to see your inner beauty.

( both yelp, thud )

Pat was always scheduled right before me.

So I'd come in as she was polishing up

the last three or four lines of her session,

and then she'd come out and we'd chat about,

"Isn't this just the weirdest thing?"

And, you know, giggle.

And then she'd go off and I'd go in.

So we kind of passed like ships in the night.

PAT: I remember meeting him.

Gabor Csupo had a big party at his house for all of us.

And, um, when I was there,

uh, somebody introduced me to him,

and the person said, "You know, she's--

She's Fluffy and Uranus." And he was like:

"No." He said, "I had this vision of some weird

little amorphous kind of alien sort of person doing it.

I said, "No, just me. Just me."

Be good to your bowels and they'll be good to you.

EVERETT: We wanted these two characters

to be totally saccharine, you know? Ha-ha.

And she really contributed to that. Heh.

They said, "Well, here's the deal.

They're little bears and he's--

We're thinking maybe he'll destroy them,

you know, most of the time."

And I was kind of going: "What? Ha-ha.

Wait, what?"

And, uh, but they just really

let me riff with it.

( both cooing ) What's that?

Oh, it's a kitty cat we found on our way to work.

At 4th and Elm.

Uh, does that count?

Uranus was, you know,

( as Uranus ): A little bit up in here, Mr. Duckman.

( in normal voice ): And, uh, sounded kind of--

Reminded me of, like:

( as Uranus ): Somebody from the Midwest

who'd had, you know, problems.

( in normal voice ): And then Fluffy was a version of like,

a little tiny Marilyn Monroe, you know?

( as Fluffy ): More like this.

( in normal voice ): So the two of them were the same but completely different.

Pat's fantastic and very talented

and did other voice s for us too, but those two.

You know, Fluffy and Uranus were so much fun to write.

RON: The funny thing about Fluffy and Uranus though,

was that we wrote them in such a way that you kind of wanted

to see them get blenderized and Oster--

Just, you know, ha-ha,

it was kind of in the design of the characters.

The thing I loved about both of them was,

Fluffy and Uranus just wanted

everything to be perfect in life,

and they were always significantly horrified

with Duckman because, of course,

nothing meant anything to him.

Mr. Duckman, we're gonna make you better

than even you know you can be.

And, uh, so I think that's why they hung with him.

What can we do for you, Mr. Duckman?

An impersonation.

Of what?

Drowning victims.

( gargled grunting )

The writing on that show, it was just sensational.

It was political, hilarious,

rude, incredibly rude and raunchy.

It means an adult can sit back,

and laugh themselves sick at a cartoon.

And that makes me really happy.

It's precisely when humor is offensive that we need it most.

Comedy should provoke.

It should blast through prejudices,

challenge preconceptions.

Comedy should always

leave you different than when it found you.

( funky theme playing )

One of the ridiculous things that happened on the show

was we had this character Grandma-ma

who was basically comatose,

but flatulence was the only way she communicated.

Grandma-ma's life-check mirror.

ALL: She lives!

And so we-- We literally had a CD

of all the various kinds of farts.

And we would listen very attentively to, you know,

which one was a plaintive fart,

which one was a more joyous fart,

and choose the most appropriate fart for the scene.

You know, for the mood that was supposed to be expressed.

The funny part was that we would sit there,

and listen to those takes

as seriously as any line of dialogue that an actor's giving.

One of the things we always went for in all of the characters

was someone who could give us emotion

and deliver no matter how funny they were trying to be.

( funky theme playing )

I did all this for you.

When we were schoolchildren together

it was you who taunted me, who humiliated me.

It goes without saying Tim was terrific.

JEFF: Because he almost always had another part to play.

that eventually became King Chicken in disguise

and so he got to play a couple different things,

you know, usually along the way.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Ah! King Chicken!

You remembered.

He is the strangest, funniest charming guy.

Egad, but you're an imbecile.

( laughing )

And, you know, I was always in the room going:

"I'm in the room with the Rocky Horror guy."

( crowd clamoring )

Squeal. Look, I got his autograph.

This to the person was just,

you know, just a bunch of really, really nice people.

It was just a completely enjoyable experience

all the way through.

I think we were the two assholes.

Yeah, yeah. Basically.

But we were just doing that to break it up.

Yeah, you had to. Can't all be nice.

Duckman was always kind of a funny show,

because we've always had a very loyal sort of following

You could say a cult following.

There's Duckman T-shirts, Happy Meals, condoms,

tequila suppositories, and aluminum siding.

We were on an odd sort of network.

USA Network, which was just starting out at the time.

And it was never really--

It never had a steady timeslot or anything and--

And so it was difficult for viewers to find us.

Audiences are stupid.

You gotta force them to like the right things.

And USA was really great about letting us do

what we wanted to do. Pretty much anything.

And there's only one movie that can tell them

what really happened out there:

Mine! On USA.

We made so much fun of them.

USA? Are they on at night?

Are you kidding? Dozens of people watch USA.

Duckman had a unique voice.

He was written uniquely

and Jason, you know, just delivered it uniquely.

JEFF: We're happy with 90 percent

of what we did on the show.

We think it really

kind of nailed it all the way through

as far as what we wanted to do.

I finally plugged into the true American work ethic:

Raking in loads of cash without an ounce of actual effort.

( funky theme playing )

EVERETT: I've always liked the scenarios where they would go someplace.

They would go on a road trip,

or they would go on an adventure of some kind.

I would like to think that Duckman is, you know,

in some kind of fulfilling, lasting relationship

with probably a Taiwanese masseuse.

I see Corny and Duckman

in West Palm Beach, Florida

running a senior-rights advocate center.

Or on a 40-foot yacht

off the coast of South Palm Beach, Florida

on the money that they made in a high-end restaurant

serving fatty foods to wealthy people.

Or cleaning the kitchen of a restaurant

and living the good life and washing other people's dishes.

They can't still be in any kind of advocacy

or law-enforcement. Nah, there's no way.

I have to assume they're into Internet porn.

All right.

( scatting )

What the hell are you staring at?!

Wait, this isn't fair!

You just took a bunch of comments out of context

and strung them together to make me look rotten.

Snappy editing though.