All language subtitles for Duckman - What the Hell Are You Staring At-ing

It's very hard to choose

the most despicable thing
about this guy.

He's self-important,
he's self-indulgent--

A bad family man.
A horrible provider.

Raunchy, rude--

He's got all these hang-ups
and sexual issues.

Probably a sexual deviant.

A complete womanizer.

A backstabber.

Just not bright.

He's a horrible dad.

He's smelly.

He would park
in a handicapped space.

Disgusting.

A liar.
Rude, crude, lewd.

He's corrupt.
He's dishonest.

Um, he's consummately selfish.

How can one person
be so oblivious,

insensitive, hateful,
tactless, boorish,

and ill-tempered
to everyone he meets?

It's a gift.

( jazz theme playing )

I didn't, you know,
set out to have

any kind of preconceived idea
to create a show like this.

I was doing some design work
for Gabor Csupo

at Klasky Csupo,

and he was asking me,
"Do you have any ideas?"

Because he had-- He had just
started The Simpsons there.

Well, you know,
I'm working on this comic

with this duck character,
and so I brought it in

and he liked it, and so we
actually kind of started

playing around
developing the show idea

before the comic
was totally finished.

But I had a lot
of the comic material

and a lot of the stories
were, uh, in place.

I originally based Duckman

really on a working
relationship

between a good friend of mine
and his assistant,

and he was really very much like
a Duckman kind of character,

and his assistant was very much

the steady hand
that kept everything going,

and took a lot of abuse.

That kind of dynamic
sort of started me thinking

about coming up
with two characters like that.

So I came up with Cornfed Pig
actually in the same drawing.

So that was sort of the--

The beginning of the thing,
and then, uh,

I added other characters
as I went along,

and I had this, kind of,
detective dynamic

going as a business,
giving them a lot of ability

to go a lot of different places.

If we go undercover
at his art gallery

we'll find the miracle painting.

Miracle shmiracle.

Klasky Csupo had been working
with Everett Peck,

and they own the rights
to the comic, uh, Duckman.

And, uh, their lawyer,

a fellow named Tracy Kramer,

who used to be, actually,
an agent of ours,

uh, was the one to approach us
with the material.

We hooked up with Jeff and Ron

and we sat down and talked
and, you know,

they were really great,
and totally,

you know, got it right
from the start.

They were the show runners

because they came
from that background,

and I basically ran
the art side of things.

At that time, I mean,
it was still kind of old school.

From the first draft
of the script

to the final locked picture
was nine months.

We'd come up with a script
and then we would record it.

All the actors
record their parts

and we'd have to get everything
timed perfectly.

It would be edited into
what we call a radio play,

which was essentially a 22
minute block of just audio.

Then they would
start animating it.

They animated it to those
voices, that timing--

Same time I'd be working
with Jerry and the other artists

to develop any kind of special
poses we would need,

or special expressions
that the characters would need.

New characters--

Some episodes we had a ton
of new characters to design.

Uh, an also the backgrounds.

How they would look,
and the color and all of that.

All four seasons
were done on cells.

It was much more, uh,
a kind of complicated

way of doing things,

but that's how
all four seasons were done.

And once we got
the board together,

and the special poses,

and the timing worked out,
that would all go overseas,

and then in about six weeks
we'd get--

Start getting some finished
film back,

and then we'd start
the editing process.

First season, we actually

had to edit it on an old
flatbed with film,

which was terrible because
we'd all be huddled

around this little dark screen,

and then we'd do the music

and the sound effects,
and finish it up.

What the hell was I thinking?

Partly by design, partly--
Partly through luck,

we came up with a show

and a character in Duckman

that, um,

you could do almost any kind
of joke you wanted,

and it was-- It was kind
of this amazing find,

and part of that was due
to the fact it was animated.

EVERETT:
I wanted this guy's life

to just be as big
a piece of crap

at home as it was at work,

so he got no relief.
And--

So he had this really
dysfunctional family,

and he had this really
dysfunctional career,

and, um,
when we started the series

it was Jeff and Ron's idea

that instead
of having him married,

his wife was deceased

and he lived
with his sister-in-law,

and that's how--

That's how that relationship
came about.

He is a widower, uh,

who, uh, due to circumstances
of his wife's will,

is forced to live
with his sister-in-law.

There's a mild sexual tension,
at least on his part,

but what's on the surface

is just complete disdain
and hatred.

They're looking for ways
to hurt each other.

Duckman!

He's got Ajax,

who is the burn out
of burn outs,

and he's got Charles and Mambo,
who share a body

with two heads,
and then, uh,

his old mother-in-law
Grandma-ma,

who communicates
only through flatulence.

It's-- It's basically a typical
American household.

I've decided it's time we did

what other people
who live in the same house do.

We're going to start
planning things as a family.

How about separate vacations?

( all laughing )
He is a private detective,

and his partner
is a very smart pig.

That's-- That's Duckman.

Your aura is a mystic reflection
of your soul, okay?

The essence of what
is inside you.

( screaming )

We really found a thing where we
could write every kind of joke.

You know, every kind of humor.

And when you can go from silly,
to outrageous, to irreverent,

to really dark,

when you can cover
all those bases,

you know, effectively,

and have a character who can

kind of embody all of that,

that kind of stands out.

RON:
It was that rare situation
on a show

when the writers were hitting
their stride

and the scripts came in,

I was a fun of reading
these things too.

EVERETT:
They put together
a fantastic team of writers.

I was always totally pleased

with whatever
they came up with.

What an experience.

I think this is something
I'll always carry with me.

Not unlike a malignant tumor.
Our take was actually to do

kind of a less intelligent
Howard Beale from Network.

The thing that appealed to us,

was that he was kind
of a social observer,

but, of course, it was filtered
through his very,

kind of,
self-centered universe.

That's what
John Q. Public wants.

That's what made me famous.

That's what got you a free ride
on the Duckman gravy train.

And with exposure like this,

that train's going
all the way to the top.

His rants were just unique
to him and sometimes

he nailed stuff,
and sometimes it was, uh,

just off into the ether.

This world's depressing enough
without a few insult slurs

and good honest laughs
at other people's expense.

A case like this
you take for the principle.

And any favors, freebies,

and groupie phone numbers
you can throw my way.

I will say, on record,

I've never had more fun
writing a show.

I knew I had 'em.
The answer's got to be in here.

Home movies.

In the pilot,
we did a very conscious thing,

where Duckman's home movies
that he was going through

took you through the various
eras of animation.

Each era kind of represented
a time in his life,

which was really funny.

MAN ( on TV ):
The winning numbers
are 4, 11, 22, 51, and 88.

That's me!

Whoo-hoo!
I won.

D'oh!

( screams )

There's always that fine line

about making too, uh,
precise a reference

to a contemporary event
that then,

after a year or two,

becomes really, kind of,
dated feeling.

So we were always kind
of on the fence about that,

but there are certain things,

like the Ark of the Covenant,

or that stuff,
that are always good.

NARRATOR:
Something called
the Ark of the Covenant.

One of our favorite parts
of the show,

was that it was
a social satire.

We'd parody
mental institutions,

stand up comics,
military industrial complex--

We kind of had a really good
time going after institutions

and things, you know--
RON: Sacred vows.

And celebrity rehab.
All that stuff.

MAN:
This special section
is for celebrities

actually addicted to checking
into rehab clinics.

With this class of clientele,

they run
into scheduling problems.

JEFF:
He was able to say
so many things

that maybe need to be said,
about lots of the institutions.

She's a fake!
She's taking your money!

She's a bigger
rip off than those

talk-to-a-nympho-in-prison
hot lines that double charge

on your bill when they know
you can't do a thing,

because you can't tell anyone
you called in the first place.

( chuckles )

So I've heard.

JASON:
I would never

have thought to team

Jeff and Ron with Everett,
and yet they were

able to adapt their vision
and their sensibility

to exactly what he had laid down
as a ground plan,

and then take a guy like me,

who literally was just
dropping by, you know,

I had no overview
of the project.

And they were able
to guide me through--

It was just remarkable.

They were truly the right guys
at the right time.

I've had a talk with my family.
They know it's wrong

to capitalize on something
for extra bucks.

The guys always set
a great balance between

the parts of Duckman that are,
you know, funny ugly,

and this kind of innate
sweetness to the guy.

I miss her, you know.

Tomorrow would have been
our wedding anniversary.

I forgot.
I guess I blocked it out.

It's the first one
I'll be spending without her.

That may explain the way
you've been feeling lately.

( cries out )

Every now and then,

when he stops
ranting and raving,

and has a moment to himself,
he realizes

that he is a--
A failed life.

Duckman,
according to your family,

you're not an incomparable
crime fighting hero,

you're not special or unique,

in fact,
there's absolutely nothing

memorable about you at all.

( cries out )

That little window into his own

despair and his own
angst and his own

sense of worthlessness,

I think--

As much as anything could.

--redeemed him through

all the ranting and raving
and depravity that followed.

Never knew what to make of him.

Never knew what people
would think.

I got to go out
and tell my story

to those poor, unenlightened
people who aren't yet

lucky enough to believe.

The thing we-- We kind
of settled on with Duckman

was that he was kind
of a fallen idealist.

Who'd aspire to be someone who's
gotten the stuffing knocked out

so many times the only reason
he gets up in the morning

is because either
he's really stupid,

or somewhere deep down inside
beats the heart

of a disappointed
yet still hopeful idealist.

RON:
He's a person, in our minds,
who got up every morning

and pushed the rock
up the hill,

and the rock would
roll over him,

and somehow he kept--
He kept getting up.

And it gave us, kind of,
a pathos underneath,

that Jason, when he came in,

just nailed.

She's got a chance
at a new life.

She shouldn't settle for me.
I wouldn't let her live.

I'd spend the rest of our lives
holding her back 'cause

I was afraid of losing her.

I had been doing a little bit
of animation,

I was in the middle
of doing Seinfeld,

I think we were maybe
three seasons in,

and my agent
called and said,

"Something, something,
animation, something.

Duckman, something,
something, something."

I thought it was
for a guest thing.

I didn't know it was, like,
for the title character.

And I ran down to Klasky Csupo,

and I didn't even know
the name of the show.

I didn't know anything.

And they hold up
this character,

you know, the duck,
and they go,

"He's kind of angry
and pissed off."

We listened to about 70
different people,

and, uh,
I was kind of burned out,

and I remember one day,
I was standing in my office,

and Marv Newland was there,
who's an old friend of mine,

and an animator
in his own right,

and he was kind of helping out
on the first episode,

and I saw him look--
You know, "I can't--

I can't listen
to these anymore."

We were playing
a few of them through

and then we played Jason.

He goes, "There's your guy.
That's him."

Amusing.
It's not without a certain

understated omniscience.

( superhero theme playing )

EVERETT:
And so we, Jeff and Ron and I,
talked about it

and said to me,
"Let's go with Jason."

When the agent called and said,
"Okay, um, you're Duckman,"

and I went, "So what is it.
How many--? Is it one and out?"

"No, the show is Duckman.
You're Duckman."

Ha-ha. I'm Duckman.

JEFF:
Collaborating with Jason

was one of the most fun
experiences we've had.

RON:
It's rare that
you have an actor

where you know
when a joke is funny

he will not only match it,

but even, you know,
make it funnier.

We were certainly writing

to his voice, but he brought
so much to it in the booth.

That was just, uh,
just terrific.

And he just--
He just nailed it.

EVERETT:
I mean, I can't imagine

anyone else doing the voice.

He was great.

We're working for the biggest
American dick ever.

( funky theme playing )

Cornfed fell in place
right away.

As soon as Gregg Berger
did that,

sort of,
Joe Friday kind of voice,

that was it, you know.

GREGG:
And they handed me this image

of a fantastic
little pig. Cornfed.

And I think scribbled
in pencil was--

Was, "Just the facts, ma'am."

And I grew up watching
way too many Dragnets.

And so loosely based,

but the same kind of direct
look-you-in-the-eye,

skinny tie, stingy brimmed hat

approach.

While most people would go for
the easy Jack Webb comparison,

I always considered Jack Lord
my spiritual forerunner.

It's just a great, kind of,
Jack Webb to the--

You know, the thousandth degree.

I'm Pig.
Detective Cornfed Pig.

GREGG:
At least half of season one

I was recording from Russia,

where I was shooting
for three months.

Duckman was in production,
Ron and Jeff sent me to Russia

with this little, tiny digital
audio tape recorder.

They would call
at the appointed time

and in my hotel room,

on a telephone connected
to Klasky Csupo,

I would lay down tracks
and they would listen

until they were happy
with what they heard.

So I was reading everything

in splits from 9000 miles away

in animation, not on camera.

Sometimes you can
be in two places at one time.

I was.

( screams )
CROWD: Cornfed, Cornfed...

Of course it was dangerous,
mayor,

but that comes
with the territory.

( cries out )
( moos )

He did a lot of other voices
on the show too,

and I know in the--
In the live action on Papa.

M-O-W, M-O-W, I guess,
he plays the drunk.

Duckman, there's a woman outside
to see you

and you'll be very proud of me.

I barely vomited
on this one at all.

That wrote itself, and, uh--

( chuckles )

On the tube everyone's a little
bit bigger than life.

A little more glamorous.

And he just--
He was a great time.

He was a great--
He's a terrific guy.

And really good.

Gregg used to screw me up
in the room

'cause I couldn't
get through it.

Gregg is really the only one

that had that part nailed
in the first episode.

There was no, uh--
There was no growth needed.

He knew exactly who
that character was.

EVERETT:
I thought some of the best
comic situations we had

was when Duckman
would mistreat Cornfed.

Who are you?
My name's Cornfed.

Well, I'm Duckman.
Want to be my partner?

Sure, if I don't die.

Ooh, that smarts.

He's got a lot of skills.

His background in the Irish
parliament doesn't hurt.

His history with long-leggy
models doesn't hurt.

He was an Olympic judge,

an air conditioner repairman,

uh, a plumber par excellence.

But I think above all of them

is he cares for this duck,

and he's willing
to do the work of two

to make sure that they get out
of whatever trouble the duck

gets them into every time.

I think it's just an issue
of co-dependency.

At the risk of sounding
insubordinate,

are you out
of your ****ing mind?

GREGG:
It's phenomenal to be part
of a team

that is that buddied up
on camera.

Nancy and Gregg and I got
to do some stuff together.

( funky theme playing )

Bernice and Duckman
were always arguing

or there was some bizarro
romantic undercurrent going on,

and it always worked
far better

when we were
in the room together.

Nancy was actually someone that
Jeff and Ron had worked with,

and again, fantastic,

uh, actor and just--
Just nailed--

Nailed the character.

Bernice is very opinionated,

uh, very into her body,

obsessed with exercising,

obsessed with telling Duckman

what an idiot he is.

Quiet, you worthless
sack of stuffing,

I'm on the phone.
We looked at--

Bernice is just kind
of the queen shrew

of all time, and boy she

rose to that occasion.

Duckman was unusual,
because they wanted this

really crass, hardcore voice.

( giggles )

( as Bernice ):
Bernice is this loud

and obnoxious character.

Move your f... butt
and f... get us

a f... table
right f... now!

Living with this guy

who all he cares about is sex,

and dealing with him and--

Uh, and I think
that kind of thing

you just have to go for it

and play it to the--
To the extreme.

( laughing )

You are so cute when you're
smarmy and repugnant.

What was exciting about
it was that it was so

wildly imaginative

and not p.c. at all.

Pushing all the buttons
you could push.

Going right up
to the line of being

gross and crass,
sometimes crossing it,

but always in a very funny,

intellectual way.

Last week we converted
the twins' stock dividends

into singles
and blew the whole thing

at that live nude amazons bar
by the airport.

I knew that ****er
didn't quit smoking.

You know how tough it is raising
kids with a role model

like that feathered weasel?

( funky theme playing )

E.G. Daily--

You really got the comedy

of that character.
She always took the character

to a different place

than I had a pre-conceived idea

of what it would be like,

and it was always great fun.

A sweater.

Who should we thank?

You or the midget who
left it at the bus depot?

I just remember thinking,
"Wow, that's really cool"

that they're actually
in a cartoon

where you get to be any
of those cartoons

that are a little racy,
or a little more--

That are really true to life,
which is pretty funny.

JASON:
She'd come in, she'd do
the little squeaky voice,

and then you go out
to a rock club

and see her Janis Joplin
her way through some stuff.

You know. Oh, my God.
They were trying to match up

Charles and Mambo,
and that's when they found

Dana and myself.

( as Mambo ):
Mambo's sorta like this.

( normal voice ):
And everything--
Kind of reminds me

of Jason in a way,
but in boy form.

in that he's just sort
of dry and cutting,

brash, and so I just--
You know, I think that Mambo

is not quite as smart,
because--

That's what I think,

because brash sometimes
doesn't think first,

so I'd have to say,
even though I hate to say it,

that Charles
is smarter than Mambo.

Got any hobbies?
It's speaking

in a binary-based code
only we understand.

How wonderfully adolescent.

100110001001.

( both laughing )

( funky theme playing )

Right before I started
to do the voice-overs,

I remember having
a conversation with Dana

and I remember talking to her
on the phone

and her telling me about
how the voice-over thing--

'Cause she had the boy thing
like I do,

and I remember that was

a pivotal conversation.
She sort of, in a way,

transformed
that voice-over thing for me,

so I have a lot
of gratitude to her.

EVERETT:
She was just
a sweetheart, and, uh,

again,
just a terrific attitude,

and very professional
and never missed a--

Never missed a mark.

We'd been aware of medical
issues all along the way.

You know,
we really loved her.

She was just so sweet.

RON:
Yeah. Real sweetheart.

JEFF:
Terrific and it was just sad.

RON:
Or let it weight her down
or anything, you know, and, uh,

yeah, she was--
She was also,

and, of course,
just an excellent actress.

She actually came
in and recorded one day

and her energy was just--

Just very, very low.

And, um, she--

She, either that day
or the next,

went into the hospital
and went into the coma.

They read people for the
audition for Dana's voice,

but I was just
so familiar with the show

I think that really helped me
have an edge on them

and they just said,
"Will you please do it?"

And to me, it was just a real
honor to be asked to do that,

because she was
a really good friend of mine

and to be able to carry on that
character for her,

you know,
I'll always remember her.

E.G.:
She was really good.
She was a brilliant actress,

and, uh, I've really glad
I got to work with her,

because I had a lot of time
with her there,

and spent a lot of time
with her,

just privately, you know,
as friends

and got to watch her and
experience her on the planet

while she was here.

I went into it a little nervous,
because it was Dana's slot.

Charles seemed to be the head
that had a little more sense,

and, uh, Mambo the head
that was,

you know,
a little more out there

on the two-headed son.

Freudian!
Jungian!

( grunting )

PAT:
He obviously knew
he wasn't gonna be getting

far away from Mambo
in this world,

but I think he was
maybe the more reasonable one.

Uh, maybe a little bit
more sensible.

It became a real wonderful
timing issue with E.G.

And that made it
all the more fun.

BOTH:
Eww!

Fluffy and Uranus
were characters

I developed for the comic.

( funky theme playing )

A friend of mine
looked at the comic and he goes,

"Gee, you know,
Duckman's so mean.

You need some nice people
in there. Nice characters."

So I said, "All right, you want
nice? I'll give you nice."

Poor misguided Mr. Duckman.

You don't need
to mutilate your body

just to meet some
faint standard

of superficial
attractiveness.

We look past all that
to see your inner beauty.

Mm-hm.

Time to see your inner beauty.

( both yelp, thud )

Pat was always scheduled
right before me.

So I'd come in as
she was polishing up

the last three or four lines
of her session,

and then she'd come
out and we'd chat about,

"Isn't this just
the weirdest thing?"

And, you know, giggle.

And then she'd
go off and I'd go in.

So we kind of passed like
ships in the night.

PAT:
I remember meeting him.

Gabor Csupo had a big party
at his house for all of us.

And, um, when I was there,

uh, somebody introduced me
to him,

and the person said,
"You know, she's--

She's Fluffy and Uranus."
And he was like:

"No." He said, "I had this
vision of some weird

little amorphous kind of
alien sort of person doing it.

I said,
"No, just me. Just me."

Be good to your bowels
and they'll be good to you.

EVERETT:
We wanted these two characters

to be totally saccharine,
you know? Ha-ha.

And she really
contributed to that. Heh.

They said,
"Well, here's the deal.

They're little bears
and he's--

We're thinking maybe
he'll destroy them,

you know,
most of the time."

And I was kind of going:
"What? Ha-ha.

Wait, what?"

And, uh, but they just really

let me riff with it.

( both cooing )
What's that?

Oh, it's a kitty cat
we found on our way to work.

At 4th and Elm.

Uh, does that count?

Uranus was, you know,

( as Uranus ):
A little bit up in here,
Mr. Duckman.

( in normal voice ):
And, uh, sounded kind of--

Reminded me of, like:

( as Uranus ):
Somebody from the Midwest

who'd had, you know, problems.

( in normal voice ):
And then Fluffy
was a version of like,

a little tiny Marilyn Monroe,
you know?

( as Fluffy ):
More like this.

( in normal voice ):
So the two of them were the
same but completely different.

Pat's fantastic
and very talented

and did other voice
s for us too, but those two.

You know, Fluffy and Uranus
were so much fun to write.

RON:
The funny thing about
Fluffy and Uranus though,

was that we wrote them in such
a way that you kind of wanted

to see them get blenderized
and Oster--

Just, you know,
ha-ha,

it was kind of in the design
of the characters.

The thing I loved about
both of them was,

Fluffy and Uranus just wanted

everything
to be perfect in life,

and they were always
significantly horrified

with Duckman because,
of course,

nothing meant anything to him.

Mr. Duckman,
we're gonna make you better

than even you know you can be.

And, uh, so I think that's
why they hung with him.

What can we do for you,
Mr. Duckman?

An impersonation.

Of what?

Drowning victims.

( gargled grunting )

The writing on that show,
it was just sensational.

It was political,
hilarious,

rude, incredibly rude
and raunchy.

It means an adult can sit back,

and laugh themselves sick
at a cartoon.

And that makes me really happy.

It's precisely when humor is
offensive that we need it most.

Comedy should provoke.

It should
blast through prejudices,

challenge preconceptions.

Comedy should always

leave you different
than when it found you.

( funky theme playing )

One of the ridiculous things
that happened on the show

was we had this character
Grandma-ma

who was basically comatose,

but flatulence was the only way
she communicated.

Grandma-ma's
life-check mirror.

ALL:
She lives!

And so we--
We literally had a CD

of all the various kinds
of farts.

And we would listen very
attentively to, you know,

which one was a plaintive fart,

which one
was a more joyous fart,

and choose the most appropriate
fart for the scene.

You know, for the mood that
was supposed to be expressed.

The funny part was
that we would sit there,

and listen to those takes

as seriously as any line of
dialogue that an actor's giving.

One of the things we always went
for in all of the characters

was someone
who could give us emotion

and deliver no matter how funny
they were trying to be.

( funky theme playing )

I did all this for you.

When we were
schoolchildren together

it was you who taunted me,
who humiliated me.

It goes without saying
Tim was terrific.

JEFF:
Because he almost always had
another part to play.

that eventually became
King Chicken in disguise

and so he got to play a couple
different things,

you know,
usually along the way.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Ah! King Chicken!

You remembered.

He is the strangest,
funniest charming guy.

Egad, but you're an imbecile.

( laughing )

And, you know, I was always
in the room going:

"I'm in the room
with the Rocky Horror guy."

( crowd clamoring )

Squeal. Look,
I got his autograph.

This to the person was just,

you know, just a bunch
of really, really nice people.

It was just a completely
enjoyable experience

all the way through.

I think we were
the two assholes.

Yeah, yeah.
Basically.

But we were just doing that
to break it up.

Yeah, you had to.
Can't all be nice.

Duckman was always
kind of a funny show,

because we've always had
a very loyal sort of following

You could say
a cult following.

There's Duckman T-shirts,
Happy Meals, condoms,

tequila suppositories,
and aluminum siding.

We were
on an odd sort of network.

USA Network, which was just
starting out at the time.

And it was never really--

It never had a steady
timeslot or anything and--

And so it was difficult
for viewers to find us.

Audiences are stupid.

You gotta force them
to like the right things.

And USA was really great
about letting us do

what we wanted to do.
Pretty much anything.

And there's only one movie
that can tell them

what really happened
out there:

Mine! On USA.

We made
so much fun of them.

USA? Are they on at night?

Are you kidding?
Dozens of people watch USA.

Duckman had a unique voice.

He was written uniquely

and Jason, you know,
just delivered it uniquely.

JEFF:
We're happy with 90 percent

of what we did on the show.

We think it really

kind of nailed it
all the way through

as far as what
we wanted to do.

I finally plugged into
the true American work ethic:

Raking in loads of cash without
an ounce of actual effort.

( funky theme playing )

EVERETT:
I've always liked the scenarios
where they would go someplace.

They would go on a road trip,

or they would go
on an adventure of some kind.

I would like to think that
Duckman is, you know,

in some kind of fulfilling,
lasting relationship

with probably
a Taiwanese masseuse.

I see Corny and Duckman

in West Palm Beach, Florida

running a senior-rights
advocate center.

Or on a 40-foot yacht

off the coast
of South Palm Beach, Florida

on the money that they made
in a high-end restaurant

serving fatty foods
to wealthy people.

Or cleaning the kitchen
of a restaurant

and living the good life and
washing other people's dishes.

They can't still be
in any kind of advocacy

or law-enforcement.
Nah, there's no way.

I have to assume they're
into Internet porn.

All right.

( scatting )

What the hell
are you staring at?!

Wait, this isn't fair!

You just took a bunch
of comments out of context

and strung them together
to make me look rotten.

Snappy editing though.